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Are you okay?

Yeah, just a nightmare.

Poor thing.

-Are you going to sleep some more? -Yeah.

There's breakfast ready downstairs.

But you can eat when you feel like it.

I have to go.

-Bye! -Bye.

-Have a nice day at work! -Remember to mow the lawn!

I will.

What have you done today?

I've cleaned the house a bit…

Folded some clothes and vacuumed the floor.

-Do you know what I'd like? -What?

To have a picnic on a freshly mowed lawn.

Shit. I forgot, sorry.

-I'll do it tomorrow. -You've been saying that for two days now.

I know, but I've been busy applying for jobs.

Really? Are you getting any callbacks?

No, not yet.

It'll come soon.

Join me!

I'm fine here!

Hey.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing, I'm just watching.

But are you feeling better?

I'm starting to feel better.

That's good.

That's the most important thing, baby steps.

Yeah, baby steps.

Maybe some real baby steps would've been nice.

I think we have other stuff to sort out before we can start thinking about that.

I was just kidding.

I know.

Are you really that ticklish?

I can't help it.

Are you ticklish there?

-Leave me alone. -Or maybe there?

Stop it.

Or there?

I warned you!

You're messing up my hair!

I have something called Body Integrity Dysphoria.

In my case it means I wish I was born blind.

But in other instances it could mean they wish they were…

born without an arm or a leg.

-And in some extreme cases where… -Jesus Christ, is that really a thing?

How weird.

Don't you agree?

-It's a little weird, right? -I mean, as long as no one gets hurt.

But isn't it a little offensive to those who are actually disabled?

It's not like they've chosen to have these thoughts.

I guess that's true.

There isn't a concrete solution for those with BID.

But many with the diagnosis say that the solution can be…

to actually become disabled.

Hi, you're talking to Rikke Olsen.

Hello, my name is Kristoffer.

-Is this Rikke from TV with BID? -Yes.

I come from… I'm writing an article about BID…

and wanted to know if you'd like to be interviewed?

-Hi, it's Jonas. -Hey, it's Amir.

-Long time no see! -How's it going?

I was thinking when you called…

I can't remember the last time I saw you?

Wasn't it that party at Henrik's place?

Yeah, that's probably right.

I got way too drunk.

Hey, so did everyone.

I can hardly remember anything.

That's right, I puked in Henrik's flower vase!

He's still mad about that.

How are they? Do you still see them?

Well, yeah… from time to time.

To be honest, they've gotten a little bit boring.

They all got kids and the whole package.

But they miss you.

-How's Kim? -She's doing well.

She keeps telling me that I need to start working again.

Okay, and you feel ready? Or, you want to start working?

Yeah, that's kinda why I wanted to talk to you.

What can I help you with?

Do you have a large cut of meat with bones in it?

What are you making?

I haven't decided yet.

Does this work?

Hey!

Hey!

Jonas came to visit.

I haven't seen him in a long time.

He offered me a job at the office.

-I start tomorrow. -That's amazing, Amir!

-Could I borrow the car tomorrow? -Whatever you want.

Amir?

-You good? -Everything's fine.

There's nothing wrong with being a little nervous first day at work.

-I'm just so eager to get started. -Then I won't bother you.

My door's always open if you need me.

Good luck.

Hey, Jonas.

-Yeah? -Thank you.

No problem.

I think I might have to work some overtime today.

No problem. I'm proud of you.

See you tonight.

-Hi. -Hey.

Is it okay if I record our interview?

Of course.

-Have we started? -Yes, sorry. We can start with…

When did you know you wanted to be blind?

For as long as I can remember, really.

I probably wasn't 100% sure what exactly was wrong with me.

But I've always had a desire to be blind.

What kind of feelings are you having?

It's kind of like having an arm growing out your chest.

Or constantly having something in your eye.

You just know you need to get rid of it.

But I don't want to become blind just because I don't like my eyes.

I also like what comes with being blind.

Like walking around with a stick, navigating by touch.

What is this being used for, by the way?

It's part of a study. How did you learn about the diagnosis?

It's not well known so I had to do my own research.

There's several forums dedicated to BID.

-What do they post there? -Pictures, personal experiences…

Aren't you coming to bed?

-You scared me. -Sorry.

-What are you doing? -Just work stuff.

Look at you!

But don't work yourself too hard, now.

You're right, I think I'm done for today.

There he is!

I was wondering, do you wanna go…

-climbing after work? -Climbing?

Yeah, up a big rock wall.

I'm a little scared of heights. And I'm feeling a bit sick.

-You feel sick? -My head hurts.

I was wondering if I could leave a little early.

Okay, you were thinking now?

We just had lunch.

-Have you tried taking a paracetamol? -I took one an hour a go.

Okay.

-Did you get started on that report? -Yeah.

I can't really just give you work off.

You'll obviously get self-certification.

But that doesn't really kick in before two months.

But if you're really sick, you obviously have to go home.

-Get well soon. -Thank you.

Will you be home soon? Should I just start making dinner?

I'm going to be late tonight.

Again? I thought we were having movie night.

-You know how it is, sorry. -It's fine, see you tonight.

-Love you. -Love you.

You said in your TV interview that many believe that the solution

for people with BID is to become disabled.

-Yeah. -What do you think about that?

I think that can be the solution in some cases.

But you can also roleplay as disabled, like I do.

-But you can only do that in secret. -Why only in secret?

There's very few who accept this lifestyle.

But back to becoming disabled…

there are very few who actually go through with it.

It demands a lot of planning.

You can't just chop off your leg, for example.

-Why not? -It has to look like an accident.

Just imagine what people would think…

If they found out that you did it on purpose, it would be social suicide.

-Do you know anyone who has done it? -I've talked to a few on forums.

How did that go?

Those who were successful say that they finally felt normal.

And the others?

You can imagine how bad things can get

when you try to get rid of your own body part.

So you've spoken to people on the Internet with this diagnosis.

Do you know anyone in real life?

No one.

Except you.

Very few people can sit on their leg for as long as you have…

during these interviews.

I think I've got enough information for today.

Are you thinking of getting rid of your leg?

I can help you, if you want.

I know how lonely it can get, doing this alone.

I'll call you if I have any follow-up questions.

-Hello? -Hey, it's just me.

What was that sound?

I was just taking a look at the basement.

There's so much space we're not using.

Could you take a look at that locked door?

Still locked.

You're through to Haukeland Hospital.

My name is Kristoffer and I'm writing a report on amputation…

and had some questions.

I'm not an expert,but I can try and help.

Thank you. I was wondering what it would take to need an amputation?

Well, it's when the body part is so damaged there's no reason to keep it.

Do you have any examples?

If there's a lack of blood supply or if the leg is crushed in an accident.

Have you ever amputated a healthy leg if the patient asked for it?

No, that's not allowed.

It has to be a very critical situation for us to even consider amputation.

It's nice to finally have the time to eat together again.

Will you be staying late for work today too?

Yeah, there's a lot going on.

I might have to have a word with Jonas, he's overworking you.

No, it's fine. I think it's nice to work a little.

I'm sorry for confronting you like that.

It's fine.

Have you told anyone else?

No one.

-Do you have a girlfriend? -Yes, her name's Kim.

And my name's Amir.

Okay. Hey, Amir.

-How long have you been together? -Seven years.

It's maybe a little late to tell her about it now.

How did people around you react?

I didn't have many around me, just distant family I wasn't close to.

-It was mostly just me and mom. -Does she know about this?

No.

I made sure to keep it hidden before she passed away.

I thought perhaps I'd meet likeminded people.

But I've mostly just gotten hate comments and stuff.

I'm sorry.

I met you because of it, though.

Are you actually going to get rid of your leg?

I'm considering it.

-Have you started planning? -I've done some research.

Mostly from you and the Internet. But I don't have a specific plan.

Do you have any tips?

Don't put any painkillers or alcohol in your body before you do it.

Why not?

If they find that you have tried to relieve the pain…

before the accident, then people will become skeptical.

And the accident has to be something realistic.

Something you do in your daily life.

-What about a car accident? -That's risky and expensive.

But the most important thing isn't what accident you fake.

But rather how you're actually getting rid of your leg.

I've actually written down some examples.

Thank you.

Give me a second.

-What's up? -Kim was here.

-What? -She brought pizza…

-said she was going to surprise you. -What did you say?

That you were home. Aren't you?

Yes, of course.

-What's up? -I need to leave.

-Just leave it it be, hurry up. -Thanks.

Amir?

I spent over an hour taking the bus to surprise you.

-Couldn't you at least told me that you… -Hey.

What's going on?

I thought I'd surprise you, but it seems like you beat me to it.

Oh my God. I thought…

Sorry.

It's fine.

We have plenty of food at least.

Kim?

You should've seen her face, she was furious.

Luckily I was able to put together some dinner and candles before she came.

-Why did she come to the office? -She probably thought I was at work.

Okay, because I was just thinking…

Never mind, I don't know what I was thinking.

But I'm glad everything went well, that's very good…

What is it?

-Nothing. -Jonas, come on.

Okay, fine.

I need you to lead the product presentation in two weeks.

-I'm not even done with my training yet. -The thing, is I've gotten questions…

about why you've been gone from work. And I've told people…

that I've let you use your time however you wanted to work on this presentation.

-Can I do that? -It's not really that hard.

All the information’s there, you just have to put it all together.

And you also have to make the presentation, which takes time.

What if I say no?

Then you can't work here anymore.

I'm just joking.

Send me a draft in a week's time and we'll take it from there?

Can I still dispose my time however I want?

Yeah, you can.

But it would be nice having you here from time to time.

Of course,

just don't say anything to Kim, she'll just get stressed out.

-I can go climbing with you in return. -Really?

Today?

I can't today. I have a boss who's given me way too much work.

Have you ever been hurt while climbing?

Have you seen how secure this is?

Just watch where you put your foot and you'll be fine.

You need to use your feet more!

Can you lower me down?

See? Falling wasn't that scary.

You did great.

"Climbing accidents"

-Looking at anything exciting? -Not really.

It looks very exciting according to that look on your face.

It's nothing.

Let me see.

-Is it porn? -Maybe it is.

Knock yourself out.

-How was climbing? -It was good.

That's great.

-Are you going to keep doing it? -Maybe.

Really? You could really use that.

-Use what? -A hobby, you don't paint--

What the fuck do you want?

Why are you so fucking concerned with me having a hobby?

Just let me fucking breathe.

Sorry.

I didn't know it bothered you that much.

-Don't apologise, I'm just tired. -It's fine.

My girlfriend mentioned yesterday that I don't have a hobby.

If only she knew.

I just can't think of anything else.

Everytime I look at my leg it's like it's taunting me.

I know what you mean.

Have you ever considered going through with it?

Sure I have, but I don't know.

What if we do it together? If I do it then you do it.

-Yeah, why not? -Do you mean it?

-This is what we want, right? -Yeah.

Speaking of hobbies, there's something I want to show you.

Amir, this is amazing.

You think so?

-You could display this at an exhibition! -You're the only one I've shown it to.

Could I have it?

-I don't know… -Come on, I will take good care of it.

And you can paint here instead of hiding in your basement.

-Fine, you can have it. -Yes!

-Could you sign it? -What should I write?

-"To Rikke, From Amir," maybe? -Fine.

"TO RIKKE, FROM AMIR"

I was wondering if you could do something for me in return?

Hello?

We're down here.

What's up?

I thought it was about time to open this door.

Here you go.

Not much to write home about.

Are you working?

Hey, I'm looking at climbing equipment.

-Climbing equipment? -I'm considering buying my own shoes.

Have you got any tips?

Yeah, I sure do.

How much were you going to spend?

200 dollars, maybe?

-200? -Is that a lot?

Yeah, it's…

You'll get great shoes at least.

Let me see…

I was just wondering…

When is that first draft of the presentation coming?

You'll get it soon.

It was due yesterday.

You know that I love having you here, right?

I've really missed this.

But I have a responsibility here.

I need you to be honest with me.

What's going on?

No, you're right.

It's just been a lot for me lately.

I'm thinking a lot about…

-Kim. -Kim?

-Okay, what's up? -She's been pretty sick.

Shit. In what way?

She's got a really bad flu, she's been stuck on the toilet the last four days.

Of course, sorry,

-I should've known there-- -Don't worry.

She's feeling better now so you'll get the draft soon.

I thought it would be nice with some food.

It looks very good.

I appreciate you for taking in my stuff. I've taken perhaps a bit too much space.

It's not a problem. I've only stumbled on them a couple of times.

-Shit, sorry. -It's fine.

I bought some wine.

I know that you're driving, but one glass can't hurt.

Thank you, but I don't drink.

More for me then.

What are your thoughts on me crushing my leg?

I don't think it's a bad idea. What are you thinking?

-Falling from a height, for example. -Have you decided on an accident?

-I think so. -What?

-A climbing accident. -Okay, and what's the cover story?

I climb up a rock wall, the rope breaks, and I fall and land on my left leg.

Do you climb regularly?

I've only done it once, but I've bought equipment.

Okay, that's good.

Do you have someone to join you?

-What do you mean? -Someone who can secure you.

I know someone, Jonas. He's the one I climbed with earlier.

Do you think he'll help?

I would have to tell him the truth, which kinda ruins the whole point.

Have you thought about what you're going to do?

Not yet…

I've got something for you.

-What is it? -You'll see.

I promise you'll like it.

Is it dangerous?

No, but it can hurt a little.

Want to try?

Fuck it, let's do it.

You have to take your pants off.

Give it some time.

-How does it feel? -I feel nothing.

It's amazing.

I have more if you want.

I'd love that.

-Why do you have this? -I bought it for you.

Thank you.

-Do you and Kim have kids? -No.

Are you planning to have any?

About four months ago I drank a bottle of liquor and blacked out.

When I woke up, it turned out that I'd tried to saw off my left leg.

Jesus Christ, Amir.

Luckily they didn't realise that I tried to get rid of my leg…

but they thought I tried to commit suicide.

They diagnosed me with depression and alcoholism.

Which is probably true.

I don't think a depressive alcoholic who wants to get rid of their leg…

should be a dad.

I'm so sorry.

It's fine, I'm better now.

For what it's worth, I think you would be a great dad.

It's starting to get late, I need to go.

-Is that a good idea? What about your leg? -It'll be fine. Bye.

Did I mention I've ordered climbing shoes?

No, you didn't. That's great.

I thought it was time to-

Do you need help?

-Thank you! -No problem.

-Doesn't she seem familiar? -I don't think so.

Now I know where I know her from.

-It's the girl from TV. -From TV?

-The one who acts like she's blind. -I didn't recognize her.

It's weird how she didn't just pick it up herself.

A little bit embarrassing, honestly.

She just makes it much harder for herself.

Can you slow down a bit?

I'm pretty sure it wasn't her.

It looked a lot like her. It has to be her.

But be honest, Amir. Don't you think it's a little offensive of her?

Slow down!

Amir?

Hello?

Amir! Amir!

Amir!

Amir!

Amir?

-Yeah? -Were you sleeping?

-I was up all night. -What was keeping you awake?

-I just couldn't sleep. -But what do you think of my suggestion?

-What suggestion? -That I come over to your place next time!

-I don't think it's a good idea. -What's the worst that could happen?

A neighbour sees you and thinks I'm cheating.

Are you kidding?

You can't have guests without people thinking you're cheating?

You know what I mean.

So you think it's fair that you have all your stuff at my place

but I can't even visit yours?

-Fine, you can come. -I don't have to if you don't want me to.

It's fine, just park a little further away from my house.

Okay.

-I'm so glad we found time to do this. -Yeah.

How are you feeling?

-I feel good. -That's good to hear.

It would be really bad timing if I got sick now.

Is there a lot to do at work?

Yeah. I was just thinking because you--

I know a really good wine that would pair nicely to this dish.

I think Cola pairs just fine.

Sure, but a dash of whiskey wouldn't hurt.

How's work?

What do you think, Amir?

We have a big presentation in a couple of days.

-A big presentation? -Yeah, it's actually Amir who's in charge.

You haven't told me about this.

No…

-He doesn't tell me much either. -I'll send it to you tonight.

Okay.

-I'll believe it when I see it. -I think it'll turn out great.

I hardly get to see him, he works so much overtime.

He works around the clock.

He does.

-Do you, Amir? -I feel like I work hard.

-You feel like you work hard? -Yeah, don't you think so?

No comment.

What do you do, then?

Do you know what, Kim?

Ever since Amir started working here I've gotten two jobs.

I'm the boss of my department and a babysitter for Amir.

You don't have to take care of me. I can do my job.

Fine.

If you say so.

Are you even listening?

I am, I'm just… I'm sorry.

-Why can't you just be honest? -I don't know what you want me to say.

I feel like you're always holding back.

Like there's something you're not telling me.

I'll do better. I'm going to stop skipping work.

I don't care if you skip work or not.

Or if you work overtime. I just need us to communicate.

Is there something you're not telling me?

No, I promise.

Amir, talk to me. What is it?

-It's nothing. -I can see that it's something.

-Please, can't you-- -I said it's nothing!

What is it?

What do you mean?

You're so quiet.

I was just thinking about what happened at the store.

-The store? -So you didn't see me?

When you dropped your groceries on the floor and got help?

What, were you there?

-Was it Kim who helped me? -Yes, it was.

She seems nice.

-What a coincidence. -Was it?

-What are you trying to say? -I don't know.

-Do you think I did it on purpose? -Why were you there, then?

-Because I was going to the store. -Out of all stores, you chose that one.

Like I said, it was a coincidence.

Do you think I'm stalking you?

Okay, but should you do that in public? People can react.

I've already gone public with it. There's no reason for me to hide.

I'm sorry, you're right.

It's just been a lot recently.

I need to get rid of this leg as soon as possible.

Hey…

Hey.

Hey.

Maybe you don't need to get rid of your leg.

What do you mean?

I mean…

Don't you think this could work?

You would never have to lie to me.

I accept you for exactly who you are.

Don't you want to help me anymore?

Yeah, I do!

-So you're not backing out? -No.

-You still want to go through with it? -Yes.

Good.

Sit down on the chair.

What are you doing?

We're going to make you blind, there's no point in waiting.

-Amir, I don't think-- -You still want to become blind, right?

-Yes. -Lean your head back.

Open your eyes.

-Shouldn't we discuss-- -We've discussed enough.

Just keep your eyes open.

-Amir. -Just stay calm.

Amir!

Amir!

Amir!

No!

Sorry,

I can't--

It's Kim, you have to hide.

-Hey, why are you here? -I was just going to get some stuff.

Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?

Fine.

Hey, Kim.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

You can't live like this.

Amir, even if you remove the leg, you will never--

-Amir, stop! -Relax, it's just water.

I don't want anything to do with you if you're going to back out.

Leave.

Amir, I'm just trying to--

I said leave. Get the fuck out.

Kim?

I have something to tell you.

I don't know how to say this, but…

I want to amputate my leg.

Specifically my left one.

That's why I tried to cut it off.

What are you thinking?

Amir…

Poor thing.

You want to know what I think?

I think you're sick in the head.

You need to be put in an asylum.

You've ruined everything.

And I never want to see you again.

The best thing that could’ve happened would’ve been if you bled out.

So incompetent that you can't even cut off your own leg.

The only thing you have left…

is me.

-Stop fucking calling me. -Can we please talk?

-Fuck off, leave me alone. -Amir, please.

Hey, Amir.

I took a look at your draft, and there's a lot--

I'll fix it.

-Amir, it's only three days until-- -I said I'll fix it!

Let me work.

Okay.

Hi.

-What happens now? -We're going to stop meeting.

-You're going to stop sending me stuff. -Fine.

If you do one thing for me.

We're going to have a farewell drink.

You know that's not a good idea.

-Has any of this been a good idea? -Maybe not.

You know what's not a good idea?

Ending on bad terms with someone who sits…

on your deepest and darkest secrets.

I'm joking, Amir!

You think I would do something like that?

Or would I?

Cheers!

Come on, Amir.

I know you want to.

-I think you can handle one more. -What do you get out of this?

You're so serious. Just have one more.

Good boy.

Fuck.

What the fuck did you do?

Hey…

Relax, we didn't do anything.

At least I don't think we did. We got pretty drunk, after all.

What the fuck.

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

You're going back to Kim and your ruined relationship?

Don't say a fucking word about Kim!

You're not leaving after all we've been through.

Move.

Amir, can we please talk?

-Move. -Please don't leave.

Fuck!

I've tried calling him 20 times, he's not picking up.

I haven't seen him since yesterday morning.

I don't know what to do. He took the car and…

-I thought something had happened. -I'm sorry.

I was so scared.

You reek of alcohol.

-I can explain. -Where the fuck have you been?

I think it's best that we sit down and--

I know how this looks, but please let me explain.

Can't you just listen to me?

Kim!

Kim…

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I've tried to be patient and compassionate with you.

-But there's a limit. -Just give me a chance to--

I've given you countless chances!

Kim, please.

Fine, explain.

This is your last chance, I'm waiting.

-I don't know where to-- -Fuck it, just give me the keys.

Give me my keys!

Hi, I'm not available right now, but feel free to leave a message.

-Hello? -Where are you?

The meeting's in five minutes!

I'm there in 10 minutes.

-Ten? I said five minutes! -I'm coming, okay?

Just give me a second.

Where have you been? You look terrible.

-There were some delays-- -Have you been drinking?

-Fuck, we have to postpone the meeting. -No, it's fine.

You can't walk in like--

I'm sorry for the delay. We'll start now.

Whenever you're ready, Amir.

I'm now going to hold a presentation about…

Isn't there supposed to be something here?

It's fine, I have it memorized.

In this quarter, in 2020…

-In this quarter, in 2020-- -In 2022.

In 2022 there has been…

No.

There you are!

So this is where you work? Seems nice.

What do your colleagues think about you using a wheelchair?

Or maybe they didn't know about that?

Fuck.

It was perhaps a little weird that I showed up, then.

Did you get embarrassed seeing me in a wheelchair?

Just imagine how Kim will feel, when she finds out--

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Stop threatening me and leave Kim alone.

Did you really think I'd want to be with someone like you?

The only reason I had anything to do with you was to get rid of my leg.

You're going to rot alone.

You know what?

Good luck living a lie the rest of your life.

Hey.

Why would a blind person want a painting anyway?

Fuck you.

No, fuck you!

What's going on?

I think we both know you can't work here anymore.

Yeah.

Where's Kim?

She left me.

Is that why you're drinking again?

It's complicated.

So tell me. Why don't you trust me, Amir?

I'll support you no matter what you say.

Amir.

There's other people like me, I'm not the only one.

The girl at the office had the same thing and she was going to help me.

They say the only cure is to get rid of it.

I have to amputate my leg.

-What are you talking about? -You're going to help me, Jonas.

We're going to fake an accident, it's the only way.

-I don't think that's-- -Jonas, look!

My leg is fucking rotten!

Fine.

I get it.

-I'm in. -Do you mean that?

Of course, that's what friends are for.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'm just going to get some fresh air.

I just need to…

I just need to process all of this.

And after that we'll make a plan, okay?

Yes, of course.

Hey, I can't talk for long, I have someone who needs help.

Who are you talking to, Jonas?

No one, just give me a second.

-He seems a little manic. -Put that fucking phone down!

The address is Hatvikvegen…

-What the hell are you doing, Amir? -You said you were going to help me.

You're going to get help from people who know what they're doing.

They can't help me. I've already tried.

They won't get it.

Amputating your leg won't solve anything.

Yes it will, it will solve everything!

You're going to help me fake this accident or I'll do it alone.

-And if I bleed out it's your fault. -And if I refuse?

-You'll kill me, is that it? -No, I'll kill myself.

Are you going to help me or not?

Answer me! Will you help me or not?

Yes, fine!

I'll help you.

You stay here and call the ambulance

and tell them that there's been a climbing accident, okay?

Fine.

Hey!

Hey!

What the fuck's going on?

You're alone.

What if I bleed out?

Then you'll bleed out.

The best thing that could’ve happened would’ve been if you bled out.

The only thing you have…

…is me.

Hey.

Hey.

You got what you wanted.

Hey, I came as fast as I could.

What happened?

What happened?

It was a climbing accident.

They had to amputate his leg.

I heard the rope snap

and right after I lost my grip and fell straight to the ground.

That's insane.

But it's not all negative.

I got this sick wheelchair in return.

You want some wine?

-No… -Kim can't drink, she's pregnant.

-Congratulations! -That's amazing!

I'd love some of that wine, by the way.

Join me!

-I'm going to take a shower. -Okay.

TO RIKKE FROM AMIR