Original subtitles

♪ Why don't you stop ♪

Yeah, and there we go.

Across the border into Wiltshire.

- Wey hey! - No turning back.

We're on a bus!

No, it's not a bus, darling.

It's bigger than a bus.

Oh, it's good to get away from the rat race.

I'm sure they have rat races round here,

but they're probably on a village green

and they all wear tiny little shorts.

Thank you, Darren.

Can I have the iPad?

Uh, no darling, I didn't pack it.

- Why? - Why?

Because this trip is about unplugging.

We're going Apple cold turkey.

We're going iTurkey.

- Dad? - Yep?

Is your bum hot?

Uh...

Yeah, I suppose it is a bit.

Oh that's the under-seat heating.

- Mm. - I have it on routinely.

For my, uh, balls.

Need to keep them temperate, or fertility wise...

- Playing more music... - Sorry.

Probably too much information.

Well it's quite a lot of information.

Have you been affected by an accident at work

that wasn't your fault?

Orbital Claims is here to help...

Is that an Orbital Claims ad?

No. Don't think so.

At Orbital Claims, we take...

Yes it is.

But Orbital Claims are our clients.

- Oh, not on this campaign. - Yes this campaign.

They booked studio space for this advert last month.

He's about to say, "Count on reliability,"

or something tautological.

Reliability you can depend on.

Orbital Claims.

And we are very nearly there, guys.

Good-o.

At last.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

Okay kids. Come on.

God, who'd you buy this house from,

Blofeld or Jamiroquai?

It's architect designed.

Well, all houses are, aren't they?

No one lives in a house designed by a newsagent.

Right, let's unpack.

Look at these emails.

That campaign was promised to us.

They gazumped us, I'm calling them now.

No, no, don't. We weren't gazumped.

They completely gazumped us, Darren!

- Ally? - What?

Do you want me to bring Michael?

Oh God, oh, yes. Yes.

- Of course. - Okay. Come on big man.

Ooh, Christ!

Hey, hey, kids, don't run please.

Don't break anything.

Everything in this house costs...

I'm guessing a million pounds.

Darren, are you an actual arms dealer?

No, I just invested wisely.

What, in the destabilization of the Middle East?

Give me one good reason not to ring Orbital

and call them wankers.

They moved on, Ally.

I mean, when it came down to it, you weren't available.

Because?

Of Michael's passing.

Death.

He died.

- Sorry, you know that. - Oh.

That meant we were in violation,

so Orbital went elsewhere.

You were the reason they signed with us.

That was a five-figure contract, Darren.

Shit a grab-bag of fuck!

- Dad? - Mm-hmm?

There's a naked lady on the wall

of Darren's bedroom.

Oh, it's, it's a painting, an old one.

- Okay. - Not porn, art.

I mean, it's not even erotica.

Luke, what have I told you about

going into other people's bedrooms?

Get outside, explore the garden,

don't kill or eat anything.

Go. Go.

- Sorry, Darren. - Oh, it's fine.

Are you sure this is the right one?

Is this the spare room?

I know.

Where did Darren get his money from?

Sheer bloody hard work.

That and his stepdad was a hedge fund manager.

- Thank you, by the way. - Hmm? For what?

For taking on all the random stuff with the kids.

I know how much you hate stuff.

Oh, it's not a problem.

It's not a pleasure either,

but it's not a problem.

I can't believe I... Oh my God!

This bed is so comfy.

I can't believe I've screwed up the Orbital thing.

Oh come on, your dad had just died.

There was nothing that you could... fucking hell,

- you're not kidding. Fuck! - I know.

The Orbital thing is not your fault.

You might as well say 9/11's your fault,

when we both know you had virtually nothing to do with it.

Mm.

You all right?

I think you're doing really well.

- Mm. - Yeah.

- Ally, are you okay? - Yeah, I heard you, Paul.

In case you hadn't noticed,

I'm on my way to psycho-fucking-therapy!

So I'm brilliant, I'm great.

Fair enough.

Listen, don't be worried if you fancy him,

I've seen documentaries, I know it happens.

It's a woman.

Oh.

This is where I don't say the thing

that you think I'm gonna.

Hey.

- Don't be anxious. - I'm not.

That was easy, I should be a therapist.

You going in?

So it's all great, really, I mean,

ups and downs with the family and Mum

and obviously, er, Michael, et cetera.

But you know, I'm just, you know,

rolling with the punches and getting on with it.

I mean, yeah, it's just, it's all fine.

Ally, I'm just gonna stop you there.

Am I doing this wrong?

No, you're not doing it wrong.

Because you said that I could just use this time

to talk about what I like, so...

Yes, yeah.

And you're doing a great job of showing me

how everything is fine and working well,

but there must be a reason you're here.

You seem very young, are you... are you a trainee?

- Excuse me? - Well... are you on a course?

'Cause I'm assuming not just anyone

can call themselves a therapist.

Actually, they can.

It's not a legally protected title.

That is mental.

Sorry, no offence, but...

I just don't like the thought of someone

tearing around my brain with "L" plates on.

I'm in my third year of training

as a psychodynamic psychoanalyst,

so not quite fully qualified, but...

So have you at least got some GCSEs?

- What's 7 x 8's? - This isn't about me.

- It's 56. - Why are you here, Ally?

I know that your dad died recently.

Yep. Yeah.

So, why don't we start with that?

Tell me... tell me about him.

Mm...

Nah.

Hey. That was quick.

- Pay for the hour? - No, it was a bit crap,

to be honest.

- Shit, really? - Yeah.

Maybe it's not for me and I should just

try something else.

Dad liked Reiki, so that might possibly be...

Pseudoscience bullshit?

Oh, oh, I'm sorry Paul,

it was just... It was a bit brutal.

- Ah. - Mm.

- Right? - Yeah.

Hmm, okay.

Well...

worth a go, I suppose.

I meant... when I say brutal, I mean, like,

I mean in a good way.

You know, unearthing old bones,

old, old psychological bones.

So what, it was actually okay...

- It was... it was okay. - Yeah.

It was okay, and I'm, you know,

it's certainly something I would try again.

- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Good. I'm really pleased to hear it.

All right, let's get you home.

- Okay, so not Wookey Hole. - No.

Not Silbury Hill.

Not the donkey sanctuary.

Never understood what donkeys needed sanctuary from.

- Mm. - Perverts or horses?

Are horses the enemy?

Right, so, um, what about this?

Cowle Henge says; "The finest Neolithic monoliths

in this part of Wiltshire if you discount Stonehenge itself."

Bloody Stonehenge, spoiling it for all the other henges.

Yeah, that's not bad. He was into all that shit,

- it might be worth a go. - Mm.

- Mm-hmm. - You ready for this?

Yeah. I mean, I guess, why not?

- Mm. - Just get it done.

- Might make me feel better. - Okay.

Are there wolves in the woods?

No. Not since the 15th century.

Don't worry, there's nothing in these woods to be scared of.

I mean, adders can kill, but rarely.

- And they caught that guy. - Okay.

- Ava, wait! - Listen, I reckon

there's a way that we can loop back into

the whole Orbital thing.

'Cause before the financial year's over,

they're gonna be looking at ways to cut costs, and that's

- when we could step in... - No, no, no, no.

- Are you interrupting me, Darren? - No. Well, yes.

I just think the last thing you need to do this weekend

- is think about work. - But I quite like

to think about work, and I can think about

more than one thing at a time, you know.

Sometimes I even do a Sudoku when I'm taking a shit.

Lovely. Um...

Look, we're fine for the minute.

Just put it out of your mind.

You're not ready for it. Just focus on the task at hand.

These should have handles. Quite a poor design.

- Do you want me to help? - Nah, it's fine.

Actually, quite good for the abs, I think.

In a respectful way.

I'm bored of stones.

- These aren't just stones. - What are they?

They're...

really old stones.

They're ancient rocks.

What's Mummy doing?

Mummy's taking her time.

She's thinking.

She's getting ready to say goodbye to Michael.

Can't she hurry up?

No, it's not the sort of thing you can rush.

- She has to think about it. - Why?

Because this is a big deal, mate.

That's her dad. She needs it to be special.

But you said he's just ashes.

Yeah, but it's what those ashes symbolize, isn't it?

- What do they symbolize? - Christ!

Go and... Go and count the stones, Luke.

You know, legend has it

that when you try to count these stones,

you never get the same number twice.

- Is that true? - No.

- There are 19. - Mm.

I need a wee.

Well, go against one of the 19 stones.

Gonna answer that?

I feel it's a bit inappropriate.

Well, silence it then.

- It's relatively important. - Well answer the fucking thing!

Anspert, guten tag. Hi. Yeah.

Yes? You all good?

You'll have to hold it in, Luke.

But I'm desperate.

I'm hungry, Daddy.

Quiet, okay. Mummy is nearly finished.

- I'm hungry, too. - Did I just say be quiet?

Did I just say that? I think I did, didn't I?

So shut up so Mummy can get all this done with.

No, no, that's not what we agreed, is it?

No, seriously, Anspert,

you're gonna have to come towards me a bit on this.

Hey, you know what? I'm not really feeling it.

Oh.

Come on then, Dusty. Kids, get your coats.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds a bit more reasonable.

See, I used to watch him go, like, get in a cab.

He was away a lot.

And now he's away forever.

Some people look to their partners at times like this

to take the wheel, as it were.

Yeah, he's never gonna be that guy.

He's never gonna be the guy that gives me space for my feelings.

He's not a space... man.

What kind of a man is he, then?

Paul? Um, he's... he's there. He's...

He's a there man.

And this, they call it espalier.

- Okay. - From, yeah...

- Morning. - Hi-ya.

Sit down, and I will do you

a huge bowl of whole wheat porridge.

A cup of tea will be fine.

No, no, no, you need warmth, you need care.

You need oats.

Like a homeless horse.

I'll get you a cup of tea, babe.

Thanks.

Where are the kids?

Oh, I plugged them into the VR rig in the snug.

Oh, what's that?

- What are they playing? - No idea.

So, do you wanna give the old boy

another chance to ride the wind today?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just not ready yet.

Oh.

What?

- Nothing. - That wasn't nothing.

You did a big, pregnant "oh." Heavily pregnant.

Well, we do need, uh,

to talk at some point about Berlin, et cetera.

I mean, only when you've got closure.

So when I've bunged the fucker somewhere.

Well, um...

I wouldn't say "bunged,"

and I'd probably avoid "fucker."

Right, well I guess we'd better get a shift on then.

Less nattering, more scattering.

For fuck's sake!

Why does Mummy still have Grandad Michael?

Uh, it's a long goodbye, innit?

Hard to let go.

Will she let go soon?

Well, you can't hurry these things.

Apparently.

Where do you think she's going?

I don't know.

Why do you think she's going in there?

It's quiet.

Maybe it's God.

It's not God, he... She hates God.

What do you reckon? Just wait?

Yeah, uh, yeah.

Nicely, you two.

- You can't catch me. - Yes I can!

How is Ally doing, generally?

She's been seeing someone.

- Okay. - Mm.

And you're all right with that?

Well, the million quid will come in handy

and apparently it's only for one night.

I meant she's been seeing a therapist, Darren.

Sorry. Of course.

Well, I'm sure we could all benefit from a dose of that.

Definitely.

Have you ever thought

- of talking to someone? - Mm...

Let's acknowledge that this is an important step

- you've taken, Paul. - Fuck this.

It's probably not for me.

I remember when I was having issues.

- Mm-hmm. - And one night

I woke up with a fizzy brain,

as you do, and I'd lost all sense of Darren.

You know, the elemental Darren.

Scary.

But Karen made sense.

- I could feel her next to me. - Right.

And I thought...

I've got this rock,

this completely silent and utterly still thing.

Mm-hmm.

- And that felt very nice. - Mm.

Karen joining us this weekend?

- Uh, no. - Hm.

That's a shame.

Prior engagement?

No, she just didn't wanna come.

How are you doing?

You all right?

Do you remember you once gave me a lift to college

on your scooter and I made you stop round the corner

'cause I didn't want my mates to see?

I'm sorry about that.

You were many things, but...

I was never ashamed of you.

She's been in there a while.

Half an hour. Should you check on her?

Yeah, probably. Will you watch the kids?

- Copy that. - Thanks.

All my friends at school thought you were the coolest dad.

Their dads were dull and disappointing and predictable.

But you know, they were around.

Dad!

- Who's Mummy talking to? - Shh, shh, shh.

Sorry, they wouldn't listen to me.

Be quiet, please.

Sorry.

Thanks for coming back to see me, though.

Those last few weeks I, um...

I really felt a shift in our relationship.

But it's time.

It's time now to let you go.

- I'm bored! - Hey, hey.

That's enough.

Oh, Christ!

Mate, put it on vibrate.

- Please. - Sorry. Sorry.

Can all of you shut the fuck up?

Ava, shut up!

Luke, shut the fuck up!

I am trying to talk to my fucking dead fucking dad,

but none of you will shut the...

Darren, fuck off with your fucking phone!

And your fucking, fucking stupid fucking wellies!

And your useless fucking ba...

Oh, it's his answerphone.

Hi, Darren.

Hi, I'm so, so sorry for what I said about you.

I'm sorry, can you hear me?

You probably can't hear me,

'cause it's really, really loud.

But I am, I'm just, I'm so... I'm sorry for everything.

I've been going through some stuff,

and you've been amazing, and I'm just,

I'm so sorry for what I said...

for what I said about your useless balls!

Excuse me?

Could you move that please? It's blocking the vestibule.

Uh, not really. I mean, everyone's got bags.

Not everyone's got an urn. It's in the way.

Oh, listen, we have just paid the equivalent

of a trip to Center Parcs

for the privilege of standing in this...

Let's call it what it is, fucking palace of a vestibule!

So maybe just let this one go, eh?

Are you escalating this situation, sir?

- Oh mate, please. - 'Cause if you force me

to escalate this situation, sir, I will escalate it.

- What, with extreme prejudice? - I'm not prejudice.

- We've all been on a course. - All right, fine!

Hon. Hon!

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

You can't just chuck stuff off a train, you idiot!

Shut up. Shut up!

The charred remains of my wife's dead dad

were in that fucking urn!

She's been trying to let go of him all week.

That was her doing it.

It's not easy to let things go, and I'm very proud of her.

So if she can let that go, mate,

then maybe you can let it go.

Now can you do that?

Can you let it go?

Just, you know, I've got a job to do.

Sure, understood.

Hey. Hey, hey.

I can't believe I did that.

It seems right.

You dumped your dad

somewhere between Didcot and Reading.

Two arbitrary points.

It's fitting really, for him.

I've just realized, that for the first time ever

I don't have to worry about when I'm gonna

- see him again. - Yeah.

You know, that was the worst thing.

Never knowing.

Ugh. Right, can you get everyone into a cab?

- I'm gonna try and get Darren again. - Yeah, will do.

- Hey. - Bloody hell!

What are you doing here?

Well, I knew I could beat you back to London

if I drove twenty miles above the speed limit

- all the way. - Christ, Darren, why?

I just wanted to apologize.

I mean, that was a terrible thing I did.

You know, you needed time and I shouldn't have

- put you under pressure like... - Oh, God. No, no.

It was me. I'm so sorry. Come here.

Is Mummy allowed to cuddle Darren?

Yeah. Mate, she's allowed to do anything she wants.

But no, not really.

Kids are in bed.

- Bins are out. Heating's on. - Mm.

I've made some tea.

I mean, I'm not saying I'm Gandhi, but...

I know it sounds weird, but I don't want you

to touch me or to sit on the sofa with me right now,

if that's all right.

Okay, this is quite Soviet foreplay.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry Paul.

I don't wanna talk either, if that's all right.

Okay. Do you... I mean, do you want me to...

- be in another room, or... - No. No, no, no.

Can you just...

sit on the floor and just be there?

Yeah.

- Thanks. - Ah.

Oh.

Ah.

Oh my God, that's amazing.

Love you.

I love you, too.

No, don't move, ever. Just be there.

- I said don't move. - Right, yeah.

Shh.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com