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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:03,002
Damn, did you park
under a tree
2
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,004
with like
10,000 birds in it?
3
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,506
I-- No, it's just,
how much feces comes out
4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:08,674
of one little bird
butthole?
5
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,509
It's like
a Jackson Pollock painting.
6
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,744
(blows raspberry)
7
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,812
I got some in-- ugh!
Ugh!
8
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,147
Ugh!
Wash it out.
9
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,850
Ah!
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,053
Hey, Nora.
Hey!
11
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:24,923
Doug.
Melanie, it's been a while.
12
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,725
It's been a minute.
13
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,930
It's awkward because
you guys used to...
14
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,565
In the back
of my Altima.
15
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,167
We did much more
than scissor.
16
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:38,037
Right, Doug?
Right. Right.
17
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,205
That is until
you met Lisa, you (bleep)!
18
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,373
Don't, don't hit me.
Not here, not here.
19
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,609
(speaking Spanish)
Hey!
20
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,044
(both shouting)
21
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,379
I gotta go.
I'll hit you later, all right?
22
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,349
(shouting in Spanish)
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,517
Tell him, girl.
24
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,385
(shouting in Spanish)
25
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,587
Anyway, uh,
do you have the trumpet?
26
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,189
Oh, yes, I do.
27
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,524
Here we go.
28
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,559
Had her
since fourth grade.
29
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,395
First thing I tongued.
30
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:04,930
You know?
Oh.
31
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,965
Lot of good memories.
Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,934
What do you-- what do you
need a trumpet for anyway?
33
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,303
My new man needs
to sample it for a song.
34
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,604
Your new man?!
35
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,239
Didn't I tell you
I was dating Rat Lung?
36
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,240
Who?
37
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,042
Wait, you don't know
who Rat Lung is?
38
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:21,380
No.
He's like a mildly famous
SoundCloud producer.
39
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,749
We met when I interviewed him
for Fazer.
40
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,317
Oh, yeah, congrats
on the new job, by the way.
41
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,386
Thank you. Look, this is
him right here.
42
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,823
Looks like he works
at like Warby Parker
or something...
43
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:34,726
Our sex is so Jurassic.
44
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,596
I sound like a pterodactyl
every time, like...
45
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,997
Oh.
(squawking)
46
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,299
Oh, oh, okay.
(moans)
47
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,633
And you can't
control that?
48
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,168
Look at this pic.
Unh.
49
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,670
What is that,
a neck tattoo?
50
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,506
Of Eleanor Roosevelt.
He's a feminist.
51
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,941
Look, listen.
52
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,076
(music plays on phone)
53
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,979
I love this part
when it's just like...
54
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:57,149
(music continues)
55
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,317
(liquid drips)
And a drop.
56
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:01,653
Oh, yeah.
Okay, whoa! Yeah.
57
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,822
Yeah, the whole track
is made entirely
58
00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:05,791
of the sound
of independent women
59
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,359
using neti pots.
60
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,360
Beautiful.
61
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,595
Anyway, I gotta run.
62
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,197
So I'll just take
the trumpet.
63
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,599
Thank you.
64
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,933
Just be careful
with it, okay?
65
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,969
Okay, Nora, I'm gonna
take care of it, okay?
66
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,303
I lost my virginity
to it.
67
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,771
Shh, don't tell
anybody that.
68
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,840
Okay, well,
then I'll be gentle.
69
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:22,975
Thanks, girl.
70
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,710
(grunting)
71
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,679
♪♪
72
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,520
(Wally)
It doesn't matter, Ma,
just get rid of it.
73
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,155
Cover it up or something.
74
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,656
Oh, shit, the TV!
75
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,892
(Grandma)
Oh, cover it up!
76
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:40,993
Hurry up, Ma.
77
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,828
Wow, not enough time.
78
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,964
(mumbling indistinctly)
79
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,170
What's, Aunt Sandra
coming to town or something?
80
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,172
Yes! As usual,
your Aunt Sandra
81
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,407
is coming from her
hippie commune
82
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:56,542
out in New Mexico,
83
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,710
and she give us
like one hour of notice.
84
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,045
What the hell is this, Ma?
85
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,313
The probiotic
that she gave us.
86
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,782
I'll put it out like
we use it every day.
Yes.
87
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,351
Nora!
Yeah.
88
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,654
Here.
Oh.
89
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,889
♪ Ohana ♪
90
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,424
Holy shit!
(Grandma cheering)
91
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,826
Xiao bao!
92
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,061
You look great!
93
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,863
Sandy, how long
has it been?
94
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:21,333
You know I live
in the present, Wally.
95
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,735
Mmm, oh!
That feels good.
96
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:27,239
And Nora,
my favorite niece.
97
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,374
Come on!
(laughs)
98
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,576
Oh, I missed you.
99
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,878
I missed you, Aunt Sandra.
Aww...
100
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,580
Oh.
101
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,914
Arlo!
(all exclaiming)
102
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,883
Oh, I didn't know you were
coming too, little man.
103
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,218
Hey!
104
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,520
Oh.
105
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,921
Say hi to your big cousin.
106
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,456
Hi, Nora.
107
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,458
I hope the world
is treating you
108
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,560
with kindness and mercy.
109
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,128
Yeah, it is.
110
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,296
Namaste.
111
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,731
Namaste.
Yes.
112
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,733
Namaste.
Perfect.
113
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,736
Now, I'm just dropping off
Arlo and his food.
114
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:02,074
And then I'm off
to see my shaman, oh.
115
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,643
Well, you're just gonna
come and go as you please,
116
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,744
huh, Sandy?
117
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,880
Wally, I am not going
to apologize
118
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,616
for connecting
with new people,
119
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,384
mentally, spiritually,
and...
120
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,486
Don't say it.
...sexually.
121
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,488
Ugh.
When you coming back?
122
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,623
Four days max.
123
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,091
Four (bleep) days?
124
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:22,461
Remember, Arlo only eats
ancient grains
125
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,596
and nut-based milk.
126
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:28,100
And please, no sugar,
for the love of Gaia.
127
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,635
Don't worry, Sandy.
128
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,104
We're gonna take good care
of the little dude.
129
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,641
How did he get so fat
if he can't eat anything?
130
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,142
(cackling laugh)
Ma?
131
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,011
He's fat!
132
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,980
♪♪
133
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:51,490
I didn't know bread
came in white.
134
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,992
What do you
normally eat, Arlo?
135
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,128
We farm everything
at the compound,
136
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,462
including our own squash.
137
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,799
Can I have some of that?
138
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,368
Some of this?
139
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,970
Yeah.
140
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,471
Oh, this is soda, buddy.
141
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,839
I don't think
you can have soda.
142
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,043
I can.
Mm, I don't know, Arlo.
143
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:14,880
Please?
I love you, Cousin Nora.
144
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,615
Oh, it's so cute.
145
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,250
Get down here.
Hurry up.
146
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,154
Just have a--
Just a little sip, all right?
147
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,855
Just let it touch
your lips.
148
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,991
Got it.
You promise?
149
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,726
Promise.
150
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,695
Just a little sip.
All right.
151
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,100
(gulping)
152
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,505
Ahh...
(burps)
153
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,876
Oh, shit.
154
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,045
It's Arlo's world!
155
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,681
I pillaged the villages
and sacrificed the peasants
156
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,417
to the pits of fiery hell!
157
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,419
(screaming)
158
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,154
Faster, faster!
159
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,690
We're the Pony Express
and the mail depends on us!
160
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,492
Oh, my goddamn knees!
161
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,727
Ha-ha-ha.
(whip cracking effect)
162
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,161
(rap music playing)
163
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,496
Arlo? Hey.
164
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,697
En garde!
165
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:06,865
Give me that back.
166
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,834
This is not a toy,
at least not that kinda toy!
167
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,369
But I want to spar!
168
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,670
You don't know where
this thing's been, Arlo.
169
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,839
Duel with me!
I don't wanna duel with you!
170
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,807
Duel!
Fine. Take it.
171
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,446
(distorted screaming)
Oh...
172
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:24,116
my vag!
173
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,418
(distorted wailing)
(opera music playing)
174
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:27,519
(thud)
175
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,555
(phone chimes)
176
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,025
(plastic crumpling)
177
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,293
(queef)
178
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:37,262
(whispers)
What was that? What was it?
179
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,471
(queefs)
It's me!
180
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,906
It's me.
181
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,941
(queef)
182
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,176
What the (bleep)?!
183
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,179
(keys clacking)
184
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:57,149
♪♪
185
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,354
(bleep).
186
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,657
Hey, peeps. What's up?
187
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,192
It's Dr. Shithra.
188
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,861
Today's hot topic-- queefs.
189
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,430
Okay, ladies, let's keep it real.
190
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,932
Whether it's from stress or a swollen vag
191
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,700
or bad sex with your ex-boyfriend Lenny,
192
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,203
we have all queefed before.
193
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,539
But don't worry, a queef is just air
194
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,607
trapped inside your vagina that wants to escape.
195
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:26,044
So just rest, air it out,
196
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,547
and it'll go away eventually.
197
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,081
But if it doesn't,
198
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,650
you might have cancer.
199
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,521
(yawning)
200
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,758
(groaning)
What happened?
201
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,560
You really crashed
after you slammed
202
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,629
that chocolate syrup right
out of the squeeze bottle.
203
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,765
I need alkaline water.
204
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,967
Maybe some mother's milk.
205
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,069
Don't look at me, kid.
206
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,404
What are you doing?
207
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,473
I'm playing a game.
208
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,541
I'm only allowed
to play chess.
209
00:07:56,577 --> 00:08:00,078
Oh, yeah?
Uh-huh.
210
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,447
You see,
if you like the woman,
211
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,815
you swipe to the right.
Mm-hmm.
212
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:04,916
But if you don't
like the woman,
213
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,751
you swipe to the left.
214
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,753
Mm-mm.
215
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,823
Oh, no, thank you.
Eww, next.
216
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,658
You're just looking
at their pictures.
217
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,894
You don't even know
their favorite books!
218
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:19,097
Why don't you
help me pick?
219
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,900
(sighs)
220
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,103
Smoker, nope.
221
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:29,941
Hmm, she used
the wrong "their."
222
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,911
Whoo, Samantha's a doula.
Wonderful!
223
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,412
Wait a second,
where are you getting
224
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,614
all this information?
225
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,982
I'm reading their bios.
226
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,785
I never knew that
people actually read those.
227
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,521
(phone chimes)
228
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,823
(phone clicking)
229
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,510
(queefs)
Oh...
230
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,012
Oh!
231
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,614
(phone vibrating, ringtone)
232
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,450
Hello?
233
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,653
(Melanie)
Nora, hey, you gotta get to the studio.
234
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,987
Rat Lung's recording,
235
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,355
and he told me to bring an Asian friend.
236
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,991
I can't.
237
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,160
I'm-- I'm sick.
I'm sick.
238
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,162
Short of you having anus shingles,
239
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,964
there's no reason for you not to be here.
240
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,401
Well, that's not
anus shingles,
241
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,002
but it's comparable.
242
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,138
Ugh, don't be so lame, dude.
243
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,906
You only live once, Nora.
244
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,175
You really want me to ask Esther Wong instead?
245
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,512
'Cause I will. Ha, she's down for whatever.
246
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:44,683
No! (bleep) Esther Wong!
(bleep), (bleep) Esther Wong.
247
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,885
I'm down.
Text me the address!
248
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,253
Nice.
(queefs)
249
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,487
Wait, what was that?
250
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,556
I-- I just bought a--
I bought a--
251
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,425
We adopted a cat.
252
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,826
Okay, gotta go, bye.
253
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,830
(phone chimes)
Great!
254
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,666
Uncle Wally!
Wake up! Wake up!
255
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,101
Huh?
You got a date!
256
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,402
Huh?
257
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:05,704
You're matched with Isabelle.
258
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,039
She also works at IT
just like you.
259
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,441
Oh, interesting.
260
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,010
Let me see what
we're dealing with here.
Mm-mm-mm.
261
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,012
It doesn't matter
what she looks like.
262
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,747
It matters that
she's a Libra,
263
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:19,184
and I already set up
a no-frills coffee date.
264
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,120
All right, fine.
265
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,722
I'll go on a blind date.
266
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,724
She's also very limber.
267
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,692
♪♪
268
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,463
♪♪
269
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,099
Yo! That sounds tight.
You-- you killin' it, bro.
270
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,266
You killin' it, bro!
271
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,603
I love that drumbeat.
It's like a little...
272
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,038
Oh, cut it, cut it, cut it.
(music stops)
273
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,706
(soft chatter)
274
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,608
Hey, can you stop that?
275
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,110
Oh, sorry, yeah.
No, I thought he was...
276
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,811
Okay, it's very loud.
277
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,313
It's just that I thought
he was in another room.
278
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,614
(whispers)
It's okay.
279
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,549
Okay, these are intricate
and expensive sounds
280
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,552
created by a genius
who deserves your respect.
281
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,054
(whispers)
Gotcha.
282
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,889
This shit is wack.
283
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,758
Yo, nothing feels right.
284
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,761
Hey, chin up, homie.
You're perfect.
285
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,262
You're perfect.
286
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,597
Really good.
So perfect.
287
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:06,965
So, uh...
(Rat Lung)
You're perfect.
288
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,401
(both moaning, kissing)
289
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,170
So I'm just gonna
get outta here and skedaddle.
290
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,905
It's-- it's late.
291
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,174
(queefs)
292
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,642
(Rat Lung)
Wait. What was that?
293
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,077
Must've been something...
294
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,112
Things have been caught--
Maybe this moth's here.
295
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,947
Think it's that moth there.
296
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,483
Give it a little water.
Um... (clears throat)
297
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,452
Melanie and Mr. Rat Lung.
298
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,187
(queefs)
299
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,690
It's-- it's you.
How-- how did you do that?
300
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,192
It wasn't...
It was a non...
301
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,460
It wasn't...
302
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,861
I think it came
from your pants.
303
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,497
No! No. It's...
(queefs)
304
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,434
Oh...
No, I didn't...
from there.
305
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,836
It was a vagina fart!
306
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,037
It was a queef!
307
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,205
I got kicked
in the pussy!
308
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,808
You should've told me.
I should've told you!
309
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,444
But I didn't want you to invite
Esther Wong here, bitch.
310
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,813
So, on that note...
You-- you--
311
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,648
you have to let me
sample that.
312
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,384
No, dude.
Please.
(chuckles)
313
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:02,487
I mean, I-- I thought
I'd recorded it all--
314
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,190
a tree growing
in Brooklyn,
315
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,625
a rich woman eating
a croissant,
316
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:09,994
a Tanzanian kid
sneezing.
317
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,964
But a Chinese-Korean
vagina fart?
318
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,967
That is like...
monumental in every way.
319
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,135
Come on, man.
(slapping hands)
320
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,737
You told him
my exact race?
321
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:22,841
This song is one sound
away from being finished.
322
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,877
Please, please.
323
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,412
Fine!
Oh, my God.
324
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,380
For the culture!
That's good.
325
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,349
♪♪
326
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,720
(long queef)
How's that?
327
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,355
It's so beautiful.
Great.
328
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,090
I'm loving everything
that you're doing.
329
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,258
Can we try another one
330
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,760
where you waddle around
a little bit?
331
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,495
I wanna try
mixing up the pitches.
332
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,331
Hey, this isn't gonna get like
released or anything, right?
333
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,032
What's with your girl?
Huh?
334
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,734
Nora, just queef.
335
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,402
It's just a little
embarrassing,
336
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,071
like the setup.
337
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,073
I totally get that.
Hm.
338
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,342
But this isn't even
gonna be public.
339
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,576
This is just for me.
340
00:12:58,612 --> 00:12:59,778
This is for
my private collection.
341
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,947
So, just know what
you're doing is beautiful,
342
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,450
it's natural, and it's
just one sound
343
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,118
in the symphony of the world.
344
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,387
All right, I think I can
squeeze one out for ya.
345
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,422
You guys read--
You ready?
346
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,359
What about you, Marcus?
What kind of Asian are you?
347
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:16,995
When you're on
a roller coaster,
348
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,296
do your balls lift up
a little bit or what?
349
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,464
Just one of 'em.
350
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,865
It's like a little
gravity-defying moment.
351
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,634
Just one ball lifts up?
Yeah...
352
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,603
(queef ringtone)
353
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,174
W-w-what was that?
354
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,508
It's Tiffany.
I'm not answering.
355
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:33,778
No, no, no, no, no, no.
W-w-w-what song is that?
356
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:34,979
Oh, it's the new
Rat Lung.
357
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,514
You don't listen to Rat Lung?
He's tight.
358
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,219
That-- that was--
That song's in public?
359
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,121
Oh, it's the number-one song
on SoundCloud right now.
360
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,522
Oh, my God!
361
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,157
He said he would
never release it.
362
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,458
What are you talking about?
363
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:53,731
I'm on that track.
What?
364
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:54,799
I--
365
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:58,069
(queefs)
366
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,572
Yo, that is you.
367
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,906
A little pitched up,
but it's you.
368
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,641
Yeah, with some reverb
and a Fazer.
369
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,343
Yo, you better be collecting
royalties on that.
370
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,544
Collecting what?
371
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,313
Are you collecting backend
on that frontend?
372
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:12,083
That vagina is going
viral in this vitch.
I have to go!
373
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,852
Hey, do you mind
if I sample you?
No!
374
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,820
♪♪
375
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,858
So, uh...
376
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,993
you also work
in IT, huh?
377
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,494
No, honey, no.
378
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,997
I just say that on my profile
to get more matches.
379
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,999
I'm actually
a wastewater inspector.
380
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,602
Okay, cool.
381
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,403
So you're paying, right?
382
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,938
Sure.
383
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,040
I hope they have
al-mond milk here.
384
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,343
Love me some al-mond milk!
385
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:40,945
Me too.
386
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,181
(bell ringing on door)
387
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,949
Brenda!
Wally!
388
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,684
(Wally laughs)
Hey.
389
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,753
You know, I was just
thinking about you.
Yeah?
390
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,922
Yeah, yeah, I was
throwing some pottery.
391
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:52,590
And there was something
in the glaze
392
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,092
that made me
think about your face.
393
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,793
(laughing)
Oh...
394
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,729
That's nice.
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
395
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,063
I didn't want to interrupt.
396
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,132
Oh, it's just
a noncommittal coffee date.
397
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,134
Oh...
(sighs)
398
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,370
But she pronounces
"almond milk"
399
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,272
like "al-mond milk."
400
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,907
Oh, I hate that, yeah.
401
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,776
This online dating
thing sucks.
402
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,879
I'm terrible at it.
Me too, me too.
403
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,882
Well... good luck.
You too.
404
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,183
Okay.
405
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,757
She...
406
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,158
Yeah.
407
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,494
So, anyway,
long story short,
408
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,229
I lost 200 pounds,
409
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,232
and all this residual skin
is just weighing me down.
410
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,068
You look great.
411
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,037
♪♪
412
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,072
♪♪
413
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,640
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
414
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,742
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
415
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,744
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
416
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,513
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
417
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,248
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
418
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,283
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
419
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,852
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
420
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:56,421
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
421
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,489
♪ Let me hear you go ♪
422
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,592
(loud queef)
423
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,962
(music continues,
rhythmic queefing)
424
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,129
♪ Let me hear you... ♪♪
425
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,131
Oh, oh, oh, no.
426
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,299
Aunt Sandra?
427
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,535
Why are you entering
the house this way?
Shh.
428
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,270
I didn't want
to wake Grandma.
429
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,640
Plus, I know you have weed.
(clicks tongue)
430
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,008
What happened
at the retreat?
431
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,510
The Hudson police
raided the compound
432
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,180
and found 20 pounds
of butane hash oil.
433
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,182
Sorry to hear that.
434
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,284
It's fine.
435
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,020
We'll all heal.
436
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,024
Oof...
437
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,294
Do you wanna turn on
a lamp or something?
438
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,796
I mean, it's like
"The Bell Jar"
439
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,164
up in here, honey.
440
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,502
It's a long story,
Aunt Sandra.
441
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,038
I got time.
442
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,407
♪♪
443
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,342
And I wasn't just pissed
that he knew my exact race.
444
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,844
I was more pissed off
that I gave him
445
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,512
all the sounds for free.
446
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,516
Nora...
(exhales)
447
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:03,488
your compulsive desire
to please people
448
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,556
is suffocating your spirit.
449
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,162
What does that mean?
450
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,197
I used to be like you,
451
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,266
letting everyone
dictate my life.
452
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,902
Did you know I used
to be a professor?
453
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,238
Really?
Of yoga.
454
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,439
Okay.
455
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,609
But my soul wasn't
tethered to my core, Nora.
456
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,712
But now I live according
to my rules.
457
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:32,083
So go get
your queef money.
458
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:36,354
And don't ever let anyone
say you're not enough.
459
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,458
No one ever said that
I wasn't enough, but...
460
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,460
Exactly.
But...
461
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,029
you're right
about the queef money.
462
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,365
Mm, oh.
463
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,200
(long queef)
Oh.
464
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,106
That was me.
That was you.
465
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,075
♪♪
466
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,144
(loud queefing)
467
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,114
(music, rhythmic queefing)
468
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,889
(soft music playing)
469
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,458
That-- that was great.
470
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:16,461
I (bleep) love the sound
of your smile, bro.
471
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,062
Go again.
472
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,564
(soft music continues)
473
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,299
(loud queefing)
474
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,468
Rat Lung!
Where is he?!
475
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,071
Hey!
(queefs)
476
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,339
Sound familiar?
477
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:31,609
Mel, what is your Asian-American
friend doing here?
478
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,910
Did you forget your phone?
479
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,579
You used me.
480
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,080
And I am the star
of that track.
481
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,149
(chuckling)
Star?
482
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,684
Track?
Yeah.
483
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,185
(Rat Lung laughing)
484
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,321
Nora, chill out, girl.
485
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:46,524
No, I'm done being chill.
I am done being chill.
486
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,692
Because you know what?
487
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,760
I gave you my heart
and soul in there.
488
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,329
I want royalties.
489
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,764
And I'm not gonna leave
until I get that queef money.
490
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,867
(chuckles)
491
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,435
You serious?
492
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,669
If-- if possible.
493
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,440
Okay.
494
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,612
Marcus, do the maths.
Yeah! Do the maths, Marcus.
495
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,980
(Velcro ripping)
Okay.
496
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,783
(indistinct muttering)
497
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,322
Here you go.
(clears throat)
498
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,359
$20.10?
That's it?
499
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,728
You don't make any money
off of SoundCloud.
500
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:24,896
(Marcus laughs)
501
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,230
My parents are just
like super wealthy.
502
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,232
Yeah, music is
an unsustainable career.
503
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,701
Well, at least maybe
take the track down.
504
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:33,704
I'm sorry, honey.
I own that queef.
505
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:34,972
We just paid you for it.
506
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,175
Fine! But I'll leave you
with this.
507
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,143
(silence)
508
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,081
Is she okay?
Does she normally do this?
509
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:45,716
Damn it! I lost it!
510
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,352
Thanks for the lentil loaf.
Thank you.
511
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,354
Hey, come out
to Provo, Utah.
512
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,656
And then we can do
a cleanse.
513
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,191
Grandma's definitely
gonna eat it.
514
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,725
All right.
Bye, I miss ya already.
515
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,194
Bye.
516
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,261
Are you gonna eat that?
517
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,865
Hey. Put it
in the garbage.
518
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,302
(Melanie)
Nora.
519
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,038
Hey.
What are you doing here?
520
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,339
I broke up with Rat Lung.
521
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,308
That Eleanor Roosevelt
tattoo on his neck?
522
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,677
That was his grandpa.
Eww.
523
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,780
Anyway, um,
I got something for you.
524
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,217
A hard drive?
525
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,918
I stole his samples.
526
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,221
Now he can't use
your queefy sounds.
527
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,388
No one can.
528
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,923
Oh, my God, thank you.
529
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,092
No one--
no one's ever done...
530
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,728
something of this like,
specifically this
531
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,230
for-- for me before.
532
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,898
Yeah, I hope not.
533
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,567
Ooh!
534
00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:40,004
You need better taste
in men, girl.
535
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,606
Ugh, yeah.
536
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,608
Ya think?
Are you hungry?
537
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,110
Jug, Rat Lung.
Hell yeah!
538
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,012
I'm starving.
539
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,548
We had like breakup sex
that was intense.
540
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,949
(squawking)
541
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:53,918
Yeah, I know.
You accidentally FaceTimed me.
542
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,753
Does your grandma cook?
Grandma!
543
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,255
By the way,
where's my trumpet?
544
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,556
Oh, we're gonna
have to clean that.
545
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:14,805
What do you mean,
we're gonna have to...?
43034
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