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1
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.
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00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,657
- Will and Grace is shot
3
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:08,443
before a live studio audience.
4
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,879
- [yawns]
5
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,141
- Morning!
6
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:14,057
- Morning.
7
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,928
What did you do?
8
00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,713
- I bought you a present.
9
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,671
- Grace...
10
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Grace!
11
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:28,158
- I wanted to surprise you.
I--
12
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:31,074
[yelps]
I--I installed it myself--
13
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,902
- I can see that!
14
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,425
Did you turn off
the main water line?
15
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,426
- No.
16
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,427
- Did you turn off
the dishwasher?
17
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,341
- No.
- Did you do anything?
18
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,039
- I came to get you.
19
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- Go grab towels!
20
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,566
I ca--
21
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,176
Look, I say this with love,
but--
22
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:48,352
sometimes living with you
is like being stuck
23
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,311
inside an episode
of "I Love Lucy."
24
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,661
- Well, yeah,
'cause I'm the kooky redhead
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00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,402
everyone loves, and you're
the guy who overreacts
26
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,795
to every little thing I do.
27
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:57,927
- You're comparing me to Ricky?
28
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,059
Oh, I'll take that
as a compliment.
29
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,277
He was always my favorite.
30
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,497
- That's 'cause
you had a crush on him.
31
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,890
- I mean, sure,
he's the origin story
32
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,589
of my love of men with black
hair and a high-waisted pant.
33
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,245
But, my favorite,
because Desi was just as much
34
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:14,030
of a genius as Lucy was,
except that everything he did,
35
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,379
he did to make her shine.
36
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,120
Anyway, it's not
a perfect analogy.
37
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,340
I mean, we're not married.
I'm not Cuban.
38
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,646
There's no Fred and Ethel
popping in.
39
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,126
- Hey, neighbors.
40
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:27,087
- Oh, look, Jackie.
Will finally gave Grace a bath.
41
00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:32,048
- Wait, does this mean
you're not making us breakfast,
42
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,182
because that's kind of
the only reason we're here.
43
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,575
- Sorry, Fred and Ethel.
Kitchen's kind of closed.
44
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:38,707
- I knew the health department
45
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,927
would shut this place
down eventually.
46
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,277
- Fred and Ethel?
47
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,931
- We were having a whole
"I Love Lucy" discussion.
48
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,151
Will is obviously a Ricky.
49
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:51,111
- Oh, Will is totally a Ricky.
50
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:53,113
- And I think we all know
51
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,592
who the Lucy is.
52
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,898
- Totally.
53
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,248
[together] It's me.
You?
54
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,121
That's crazy.
I'm Lucy.
55
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,645
- Aye, aye, aye.
56
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:08,084
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
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♪
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,140
[old-timey trumpet music]
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00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,013
- Lucy!
60
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,320
- Is that you, sweetie-pie?
61
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,452
Oh, gee, I'm glad you're home.
62
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,976
How about a great big--
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I'll see you later.
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00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,066
- Lucy.
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00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,808
Come here.
66
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:37,853
- What's the matter?
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00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,202
- I stopped by the bank
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00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,812
on the way home
and they showed me this:
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00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,814
your check
to the beauty parlor.
70
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,426
- But I write a check to
the beauty parlor every month.
71
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,775
- Yes, I know that,
but they don't always have
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00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,820
a little note on the back
like this one.
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00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,431
"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
74
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,694
and don't put this through
till next month."
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00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:55,914
- [groans]
76
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,484
That's why they
call them "tellers."
77
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:03,008
They go around blabbing
everything they know.
78
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,227
- Lucy.
79
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,229
Do you realize how tough it is
80
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,752
for a guy to make
a buck these days?
81
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,754
You think that the money
grows on trees?
82
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,495
- No.
83
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,237
- Well, we'll see you later.
Come on, Fred.
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00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,500
- No, no. No, no.
Come on, come in, sit down.
85
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,242
- No, thanks.
I went to the fights last night.
86
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,026
- Fred, please.
Come in, will you?
87
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,724
- Come in, Ethel.
88
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:25,553
- Fred, tell me something,
would you?
89
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:28,860
How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
90
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:29,818
- Never.
91
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,907
- Never?
How do you manage that?
92
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:32,951
- It's easy.
93
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,475
I never had enough money
at one time
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00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,216
to open a checking account.
95
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,304
- [laughs]
96
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:38,870
- What?
97
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,482
She spends money like I was
printing it in the basement.
98
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,006
- "Printing it in the basement."
[scoffs]
99
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:45,529
- Let's face it, Rick.
100
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,139
When it comes to money,
there are two kinds of people:
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00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:48,924
the earners and the spenders,
102
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,534
or as they are
more popularly known,
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00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:51,927
husbands and wives.
104
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:55,365
- Yeah, brother,
if they had to make the dough,
105
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,802
they would think twice
before spending it that fast.
106
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,021
- Yeah.
107
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,588
- Holding down a job
is a lot more difficult
108
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,459
than lying around the house
all day long.
109
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:05,723
- Lying around the house?
Is that all you think we do?
110
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:06,681
- Yeah.
111
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,595
- Well, now,
let's face it, Rick.
112
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:08,683
Every once in a while,
113
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,946
they get up and play Canasta.
114
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,948
- What's so tough
about earning a living?
115
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:13,992
- Yeah.
116
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,080
- Have you ever done it?
117
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,386
- No, but I could.
118
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:19,259
- [laughs]
I'd like to see you try.
119
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,826
- Okay.
I will.
120
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,698
- You will?
121
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,047
- Yeah.
122
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,396
- Well, this I gotta see.
123
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,964
- Honey, what is this?
124
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,185
- Okay, Joe.
125
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,404
I'm ready to rehearse
the commercial.
126
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,145
Stuff any good?
127
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,756
- Well, it ought to be.
It's got everything in it--
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00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,630
meat, vegetables,
minerals, vitamins,
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00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,806
alcohol 23%.
130
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,811
Alcohol 23%?
131
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,423
- I'm Ross Elliot,
the director.
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00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,077
Let's run through it.
- Yes, sir.
133
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,471
- Now, you stand
right over here.
134
00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,300
And remember,
be bright and vivacious.
135
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,823
- Yes, sir.
136
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,524
Hello, friends.
137
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,570
I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl.
138
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,224
Are you tired,
run-down, listless?
139
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,139
Do you poop out at parties?
140
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,750
Are you unpopular?
141
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,883
The answer to all your problems
is in this little bottle.
142
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:22,104
- Now, you pick up the bottle.
- Oh.
143
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,932
- Little higher.
That's right.
144
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:26,195
- The answer
to all your problems
145
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,849
is in this little bottle.
146
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,329
Vitameatavegamin.
147
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:32,549
Vitameatavegamin
contains vitamins, meat,
148
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,160
vegetables, and minerals.
149
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:36,988
Yes, with Vitameatavegamin,
150
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:40,252
you can spoon your way
to health.
151
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:43,299
All you do is take
a tablespoon after every meal.
152
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,040
- Now, you take some.
- Oh.
153
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,873
It's so tasty, too.
154
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,328
Just like candy.
155
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,025
- No, no, no, no.
156
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,679
Look, you're supposed
to like the stuff.
157
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,377
You've got to smile
and be happy.
158
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,030
Now try it again.
- Yes, sir.
159
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,380
Yes, sir.
160
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,862
It's so tasty, too.
161
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:37,788
- Nope, once more.
162
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,007
- [sighs]
163
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,923
[sighs]
164
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,928
It's so tasty, too.
165
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,149
It's just like candy.
166
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,417
- That's going to be fine.
Go ahead.
167
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,722
- Okay.
168
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:01,203
So, why don't you
join the thousands
169
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:04,206
of happy-peppy people,
and get a great big bottle
170
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,251
of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow.
171
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:09,559
That's Vita-meata-vegamin.
172
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,911
- Well,
now you've got the feeling.
173
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,087
Now, I'd like to try it
once more, only this time,
174
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,741
faster and brighter.
175
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,526
- Faster and brighter.
Okay.
176
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,615
[hiccups]
Oh.
177
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,268
Well, pardon--pardon me.
178
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,314
- From "It's so tasty, too."
179
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,708
- It's so tasty, too.
Yes, sir.
180
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,801
It's so tasty, too.
181
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,761
Just like candy.
182
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,459
You know, this stuff
tastes pretty good
183
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,026
once you get used to it.
184
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,463
- Yes, I know,
185
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,681
but would you go ahead,
please?
186
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,161
It's so tasty, too.
187
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,728
- Oh.
Okay.
188
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,037
It's so tasty, too.
189
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,306
So...
190
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:04,048
So, uh...
191
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,616
I don't where to start unless
I begin at the beginning.
192
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,096
- All right,
start at the beginning.
193
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,924
- Oh, thank you.
194
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,361
[exhales]
195
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,710
Hello, friends.
196
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,756
I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl.
197
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,280
Are you tired,
run-down, listless?
198
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,760
Do you poop out at parties?
199
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,631
Are you unpopular?
200
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,677
The answer to all your problems
201
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,810
is in this bittle lottle--
uh, little bottle.
202
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,684
- Are you feeling all right?
203
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,642
- Oh, I feel fine.
204
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,514
- Would you mind trying it
just once more, please?
205
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:35,906
- [drowsily]
Oh, no, sir.
206
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,517
It's perfectly all right.
207
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,257
- Now, we're going
to time it this time.
208
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,912
Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
209
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:43,697
- Go.
210
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,665
- You know,
you're awfully nice.
211
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,928
- Thank you.
Would you go ahead, please?
212
00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,669
- Hmm.
213
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:05,806
Well, I'm your
Vitaveatavegavac girl!
214
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:09,331
Are you tired,
run-down, listless?
215
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,725
Do you pop out at parties?
216
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,599
Are you unpoopular?
217
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:19,559
Well, are you?
218
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,604
The answer to all your problems
219
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,868
is in this little old bottle.
220
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:28,045
[slurring]
Vitameatavegamin.
221
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,656
That's it.
222
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:35,662
Vitameatavegamin contains
223
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:39,100
vitamins, meat,
megetables, and vinnerals.
224
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,931
You have to take a whole
tablespoon after every meal.
225
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:59,686
[vibrant trumpet music]
226
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:03,254
.
227
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,778
- Look at me.
228
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,693
I went as Lucy
for Halloween last year.
229
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,085
- So did I.
230
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,915
- Grace also attempted
a "Slutty Lucy" in college
231
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,178
that ended in tears.
232
00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:16,964
- So did I.
233
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,313
- Well, have either of you
234
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,358
ever fought an Italian woman
235
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,230
in a giant vat of alcohol?
236
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,885
Because I have, many times.
237
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:27,452
And that's all Lucy ever did!
238
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:28,758
- That was one episode.
239
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,368
- Yeah?
240
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,805
Well, that's the only one I ever
saw, and that's all she did.
241
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,721
[old-timey trumpet music]
242
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,248
- Lucy!
- Is that you, sweetie-pie?
243
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:43,294
[humming tune]
244
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,994
How's about a great big--
245
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,736
I'll see you later.
- Lucy.
246
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,215
I stopped by the bank
247
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:54,088
and they showed me your check
to the beauty parlor.
248
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,959
"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
249
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,614
and don't put this through
till next month."
250
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,703
- That's why
they call them "tellers."
251
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,314
They go around blabbing
everything they know.
252
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:05,795
- Lucy, do you realize
how tough it is
253
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,579
for a guy to make
a buck these days?
254
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,408
You think that money
grows on trees?
255
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,022
- Well, we'll see you later.
- Yeah.
256
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:17,241
I went to the fights last night.
257
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:19,679
- Fred, Fred.
Come in, please, will you?
258
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:20,984
Tell me something.
259
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:24,118
How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
260
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,989
- Never.
- Never?
261
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:28,992
- I never had enough money
to open a checking account.
262
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,125
- [laughs]
263
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,127
- There are
two kinds of people:
264
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,694
the earners and the spenders,
265
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:37,044
or as they are
more popularly known
266
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:40,134
as husbands and wives.
267
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,701
- Holding down a job
is a lot more difficult
268
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,964
than lying around the house
all day long.
269
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,574
- Well, every once in a while,
270
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:49,230
they get up to play Canasta.
271
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:52,363
- What's so tough
about earning a living?
272
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:58,195
- Yeah, I could do it.
273
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,981
- [laughs]
I'd like to see you try.
274
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,765
- Okay.
I will.
275
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:05,115
- This, I gotta see.
276
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:08,205
[old-timey trumpet music]
277
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,564
Tu!
278
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:32,360
[grapes squelching]
279
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,884
- [groans]
280
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,241
[giggles]
281
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:03,695
- [speaking Italian]
282
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,658
- [labored breathing]
283
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,186
- No, I'm-a pooped.
284
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,622
- [speaking Italian]
285
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,936
- [groans]
286
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,775
[sighs]
287
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,472
- [grunts]
288
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:46,042
[both grunting]
289
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:47,391
- [yells]
290
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:50,003
- [grunting]
291
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,878
[both grunting]
292
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:02,015
- [sighs]
- [yells]
293
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,931
[old-timey trumpet music]
294
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,154
.
295
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,895
- There's no way anyone
296
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,245
would compare you to Lucy
over me.
297
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,986
You don't even have red hair.
298
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,467
- Well, in fairness--
- It used to be natural.
299
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,862
- Uh, cello?
300
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,080
How can either of you say that
301
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,473
you're more like Lucy
than I am?
302
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:28,911
Always getting into hijinks,
married to a Latin hunk,
303
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,131
adorable in a polka dot dress
with a capped sleeve.
304
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,785
- Oh, great.
305
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:37,180
Now we have to say
that a boy can be Lucy, too?
306
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,790
What's next?
Equal rights?
307
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,836
It's madness!
308
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,012
[old-timey trumpet music]
309
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,667
- Lucy!
- Is that you, sweetie-pie?
310
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:48,496
Oh, gee, I'm glad you're--
311
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,890
[groans]
312
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:53,936
- Lucy,
I stopped by the bank.
313
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,503
"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
314
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,505
and don't put this through
till next month."
315
00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,377
- That's why
they call them "tellers."
316
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:03,032
- Do you think
money grows on trees?
317
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,692
- Went to the fights
last night.
318
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:13,477
- Fred, come in, please.
319
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:16,785
How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
320
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,134
- Never.
321
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,831
- Holding down a job
is difficult.
322
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,225
- Canasta.
[sniffs]
323
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,488
- Earning a living.
- I could do it.
324
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:25,620
- Ha!
325
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,404
- I will.
326
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:28,884
- This, I gotta see.
327
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,538
[bright trumpet music]
328
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,714
- All right, girls.
329
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,934
Now, listen carefully.
330
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,937
This is
the wrapping department.
331
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,416
- Yes, ma'am.
332
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,245
- Now, the candy will pass by
on this conveyor belt,
333
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,725
and continue on
into the next room
334
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:45,857
where the girls will pack it.
335
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,382
Your job is to take
each piece of candy,
336
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,166
wrap it in one of these papers,
337
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,995
and then put it back
on the belt.
338
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,518
Do you understand?
339
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,957
- Yes, sir--yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
340
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,046
- Let it roll!
341
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:05,660
Let it roll!
342
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,010
Well, wait here.
343
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,143
Somebody's asleep
at the switch.
344
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,798
- [sighs]
- What are you doing up here?
345
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:16,018
I thought you were downstairs
boxing chocolates.
346
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,846
- Oh, they kicked me
out of there fast.
347
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,239
- Why?
348
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,806
- Kept pitching them
to see what kind they were.
349
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,156
- All right, girls.
350
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,332
This is your last chance.
351
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,074
If one piece of candy
gets past you
352
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:31,077
and into the packing room
unwrapped, you're fired.
353
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,426
- Yes, ma'am.
354
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,732
- Let it roll!
355
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,692
[conveyor belt whirring]
356
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,404
- Well, this is easier.
357
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,146
- Yeah.
We can handle this all right.
358
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:13,423
- Listen, Ethel,
I think this is, uh...
359
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,035
I think we're fighting
a losing game!
360
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,571
Here she comes.
361
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,849
- Fine!
362
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,330
You're doing splendidly.
363
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:52,462
Speed her up a little!
364
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:58,077
[whimsical music]
365
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:05,606
.
366
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,390
- Plus, Lucy was desperate
367
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,610
to get her big break
in show biz and--
368
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,960
well, I got mine many years ago
369
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,310
when I got the part
of "Terrified Man"
370
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,833
in an episode
of "Silk Stockings."
371
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:18,967
I can relate to her struggle.
372
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,534
- There's only one way
to solve this.
373
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:23,363
- Agreed,
and while I've never wrestled
374
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:27,062
with a gay man and a pregnant
woman at the same time,
375
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,238
I've always wanted to.
376
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,719
- No, I mean, ask Ricky.
377
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:35,157
Which one of us would you say
378
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,464
is your Lucy?
379
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:38,813
And keep in mind,
380
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:41,120
I have pictures of you
in shorteralls.
381
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:43,948
- And I have pictures of you
382
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,690
trying to rock a mustache
for Movember.
383
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,172
- And I stopped caring
an hour ago,
384
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,610
but I still wanna know
just 'cause.
385
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,265
- You're all my Lucy.
386
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,138
Grace and I share a home,
but we sleep in separate beds.
387
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,227
Karen's always up
to something I disapprove of.
388
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,098
Jack spends all my money.
389
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,752
Plus I--I am constantly
cleaning up
390
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,145
after all your messes.
391
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,711
- No, you're not.
392
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,671
- He literally just
cleaned up your mess.
393
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:14,153
- From a present
I thoughtfully bought.
394
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:17,417
- Which you were too cheap
to hire someone to install.
395
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,419
- I was about to say
the nice part.
396
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,638
Can I say the nice part, please?
397
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,206
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be Ricky.
398
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,688
Because he got to live
with Lucy.
399
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,646
This guy is so lucky,
400
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,952
'cause he gets
to spend his life
401
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,736
with someone like that.
402
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,696
Well, I got him beat.
403
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,437
'Cause I got three of you
in my life.
404
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,135
And even better,
405
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,745
my kid'll have that too.
406
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,750
- Pretty lucky kid.
- Mm.
407
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,319
- I wish I was that kid.
408
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,105
But still Lucy.
409
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:55,759
But also Ricky.
410
00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,286
- You almost brought a tear
to my eye, you old homo.
411
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,809
[romantic music]
412
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,420
- I love you, Lucys.
413
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,422
♪ I love Lucy
414
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,642
♪ And she loves me
415
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:11,122
♪
416
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:15,779
♪ We're as happy
as two can be ♪
417
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:19,000
♪ Sometimes we quarrel,
but then ♪
418
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,567
[chuckles]
419
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:23,874
♪ How we love
making up again ♪
420
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:28,009
♪ Lucy kisses like no one can
421
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:31,839
♪ She's my missus
and I'm her man ♪
422
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:35,582
♪ And life is heaven,
you see ♪
423
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,758
♪ 'Cause I love Lucy
424
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,890
- ♪ Oh, he loves Lucy
425
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,762
- ♪ Yes, he loves Lucy
426
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,633
- ♪ Yes, he loves Lucy
427
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:47,289
- ♪ And Lucy loves me
428
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,335
[together]
♪ 'Cause I love Lucy
429
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:50,901
♪ Yes, I love Lucy
430
00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:53,730
♪ And Lucy
431
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:57,821
♪ Loves me
432
00:20:57,865 --> 00:21:04,915
♪
433
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:08,179
[old-timey trumpet music]
434
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,312
♪
435
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,140
- Husbands and wives.
436
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:25,327
♪
437
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,850
- I need a nail.
438
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:34,336
- What?
She spends money like she--
439
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,685
What?
440
00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:45,478
- Can we go back?
Sorry.
441
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,349
- What?
442
00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:52,223
- I'm--I'm gonna try that again.
29744
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