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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,840
This programme contains
strong language and some scenes
of a sexual nature
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COMMENTATOR SPEAKS IN DISTANCE
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00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:17,560
And the routine total
for Plymouth A is 78.700.
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APPLAUSE
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This is start number four,
representing Rushmore A.
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APPLAUSE
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00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,680
MUSIC: Dancing On My Own
by Robyn
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MUSIC GROWS DISTANT
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Ray? Oh, my God! Ray!
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PANICKED VOICES
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00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,520
Bom dia, meu gatao. Dormiu bem?
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WOMAN MOANS IN VIDEO
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VIDEO STOPS
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00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:43,760
Bollocks.
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PHONE RINGS
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Tell me you're almost home.
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You may need to start without me.
I got...I got held up.
18
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,640
I have started without you.
19
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I mean start the interview.
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00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,880
Are you watching...?
21
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,760
Yeah, it's what I expected...
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You're a reckless idiot.
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00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,800
Next time, hero, let the grandma
fall down the stairs.
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00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,400
Get dressed.
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00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,680
He's on his way, Gemma.
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00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,320
Use the siren.
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00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,800
It's not an emergency.
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00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,160
It is an emergency.
I don't see you any more.
29
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,240
That's an exaggeration.
30
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,520
I don't want a lodger.
31
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,760
There's barely enough room for us.
32
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,000
Yeah, well, we need the money, so...
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00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,560
Can't we just declare bankruptcy?
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00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,800
Fake our deaths, move to Bali?
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00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,960
I miss you.
36
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,240
How close are you?
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00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,400
MOANING RESUMES
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00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,480
How close are YOU?
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00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,720
I could get there.
40
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,000
Don't hang up.
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00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,680
SHE MOANS
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00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,880
Seriously, dude, marry her.
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00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,560
999 mode activated.
SIREN WAILS
44
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,000
SHE CHUCKLES
45
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,920
Oh, my God.
46
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,000
Voce quer um cafe da manha?
Do you want some breakfast? Hm?
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00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,040
CAT MEOWS
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00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:49,960
Excuse me!
49
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,760
I'm Ray.
50
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,880
Ray. Yes, hi.
51
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,080
Hi... Hi, hi.
52
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,520
Erm...
53
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,120
Yeah.
54
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,560
Hm!
55
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,760
The girl's coming to view the room,
so we're going to have to be quick.
56
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,800
Fuck!
57
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,760
And that's Gemma.
58
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,840
Ray...
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00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,280
Er... Coffee? Tea?
60
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,680
Erm, tea.
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00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,920
Tea.
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00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,720
Great. One tea for Ray.
63
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,920
Sorry.
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00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,640
She's just getting dressed
and screaming into a pillow.
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00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,240
Sorry, I'm always early.
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00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,040
No, no, this is actually probably
a good ice-breaker for the right
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00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,760
person - seeing your prospective
landlord's vagina.
68
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,680
I wasn't referring to Gemma as...
69
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,560
Not calling it an ice-breaker,
or...
70
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,920
So, er, do you work nearby or...?
71
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,240
Erm, I'm retired.
72
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,760
Oh, OK, really?
73
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,880
Yeah. And you are, erm, a florist?
74
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,240
I'm trousered now, so...
75
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,640
You have every right to be
untrousered in your own flat.
76
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,360
If you take the room, I promise
you'll never have to see that again.
77
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,160
Yeah. We'll make it part of the
tenancy agreement. Is that an offer?
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00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,480
We should interview you first.
79
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,160
You can't interview someone
who's just seen your vagina... Stop.
80
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,560
..Gem, the best you can ask for is
an informal chat, right?
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00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,240
Can we all just forget
about my vagina?
82
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,120
Yes. No.
83
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,080
Seriously! What do we need to ask?
84
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,760
Er, you want me to interview myself?
85
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,120
He's just come off a night shift
and I'm flustered for no reason.
86
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,840
Yeah, plus everyone else we've
met has been clinically insane.
87
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,000
Are you clinically insane, Ray?
88
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,200
Erm... Does pyromania count?
89
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,480
That's a joke. It's funny,
90
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,840
We're clicking. This is going well.
91
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,800
So, I can make the rent, I can
give you deposit, I don't smoke,
92
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,920
I'm tidy, I'm respectful, I'm quiet,
93
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,760
I try to be a good person,
94
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,040
I'm 30 years old and I still live
with my parents, so...
95
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,480
..desperate.
96
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,440
Yeah, and you promise not to mention
anything about Gemma's vagina?
97
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,520
I promise nothing.
98
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,000
Fuck both of you guys!
99
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,520
Do you have any questions for us?
100
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,560
Er, no.
101
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,760
I already know too much.
102
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,080
Yeah.
103
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,720
What can she mean she's retired?
104
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,440
See her bruises?
105
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,400
She might have a bad boyfriend.
106
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,680
Or girlfriend.
107
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,680
I'm just saying. She might have.
108
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:37,960
We had phone sex.
109
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,040
I had phone sex!
110
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,760
Whoa!
111
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,920
For fuck's sake, Kieran, again?
112
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,200
What? Oh, yeah.
You should see the other guy.
113
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,440
It was an old lady, Gem, and she's
fine now, all right?
114
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,080
Saviour of the fucking needy...!
115
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,520
How is that a bad thing, though?
116
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,880
Course you want to give this
battered woman the room,
117
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,920
fucking damsel in distress.
Just your type.
118
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,720
Oh, says the woman with
her knickers off
119
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,240
hoping our new lodger's a lesbian?
120
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,760
Oh, yeah, you're right.
121
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,880
I can't keep living this lie.
122
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:17,000
This six-year hetero blip is over
and I'm back on the muff!
123
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,600
I'm late for work.
We'll argue when we get back.
124
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,840
Yeah, sure.
125
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,280
What else would we do?
126
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,600
Not fuck.
127
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,400
You're too injured
and I'm too gay, apparently.
128
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,840
WOMAN MOANS IN VIDEO
129
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,160
VIDEO STOPS
130
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,440
The hell is this?
131
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,640
Oh, this is Asher, Chef.
My cousin. Can he hang out here?
132
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,760
I'll end up training more people
than I'm serving.
133
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,200
Are you smoking weed?
134
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,240
No. No, no.
135
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,920
Oh...it's 8am!
136
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,720
I haven't been to sleep yet.
137
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,920
Oh, thank you, Tom. Hi. Here you go.
138
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,560
See you on Tuesday. Cheers. Bye.
139
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,480
All right, Asher, take off your
jacket and help me with the chairs.
140
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,320
Right, grab the last two, yeah?
141
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,800
MUSIC: Witness (1 Hope)
by Roots Manuva
142
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,800
OK, Gemma, this is all mad.
143
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,880
You've heard this before.
144
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:55,960
No.
145
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,840
I was born in 2002.
146
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,000
What? No, you weren't cos...
147
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,320
No, I was.
148
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,200
Oh, my God, I'm old...
149
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,240
This is to remind you that
you're mortal,
150
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,800
next time you feel like being
a reckless twat...
151
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,480
Oh!
152
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,560
Dick.
153
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,160
We won't be able to
argue when the lodger moves in.
154
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,280
ALARM BEEPS
155
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,400
Better make the most of it, then.
156
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,200
Another night shift?
157
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:05,280
If we can't even make time to argue,
then what even are we?
158
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,640
I don't know what the hell that's
supposed to mean, but I have to go.
159
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,080
Don't be too brave.
160
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,440
Good morning.
161
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,000
PEACEFUL PIANO MUSIC
162
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,720
Goodnight.
163
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,680
SHE EXHALES
164
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,520
IN FRENCH:
165
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,000
Oh, my God...
166
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,760
Pull yourself together, Mick.
167
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,200
OK. OK.
168
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,920
MUSIC: May You Never
by John Martyn
169
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,400
Well, Moira does have a flair
for the dramatic.
170
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,640
It's a big change for Moira
and the team.
171
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,760
It's a big change for everyone.
172
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,480
It's too fussy.
173
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,880
It needs to be simple.
174
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,720
The point is the food
and the people and that
175
00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:01,480
this isn't yet another overpriced
hipster gentrification nightmare.
176
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,280
Not that I don't want those
customers, I just don't want to
177
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,120
you know, price out the locals
or be part of the problem.
PHONE RINGS
178
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,240
Chef, someone's here for an
interview.
179
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,760
Oh... Victor can you get the phone?
180
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,200
Properly, like I taught you.
181
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,840
Erm... Hi. Hiya.
182
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,920
You're a student?
Yeah, postgrad, Goldsmiths.
183
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,920
Design, but I've worked in cafes
before.
184
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,640
What do you think...of this?
185
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,400
It's too fussy, right?
186
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,800
I'm just...
I'm here for a waitressing job.
187
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,600
You're over-qualified.
188
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,680
How is that...?
How is that a problem?
189
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,320
All right, so, we'll go simpler.
190
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,960
We'll paint the walls,
new lighting...
191
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,000
Er, it's that front you need to
sort, cos I just...
192
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,640
..I just walked right past the
place.
193
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,560
Exactly. People still think
we're a lawyer's.
194
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,040
OK, then, start at the front.
195
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,760
You could... Yeah, OK, Nick,
can you just let me...?
196
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000
Can you work a coffee machine?
197
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,160
Yeah.
198
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,120
OK, tell me...
199
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,680
..how much are we talking?
200
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:05,400
Just don't understand!
How - HOW - can this cost £500?!
201
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,560
Yeah, well, if you want it done
properly, Gemma!
202
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,360
To paint a sign!
If you want a professional job!
203
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:15,160
Ugh! You must know I can't afford
that, Caroline!
204
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,920
No! What the hell is happening?!
Perfect.
205
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,360
Gemma, if you don't want me to die
at work,
206
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,360
I need to sleep between shifts!
207
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,160
Gem, she's not trying to
screw you...
208
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,960
Why does everything cost money?!
209
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,840
Here, let me...
210
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,240
I've got this.
211
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,680
You know, for what you're paying,
212
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,800
you can have a place to yourself
in Aldershot.
213
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,320
I don't need reminders that
I have wasted my life...
214
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,360
You're an Olympian.
215
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,400
You've met the Queen.
216
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,720
You've achieved more in your
30 years
217
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,880
than some have achieved in their
entire lives.
218
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,200
You should have stopped me.
219
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,640
If you're looking for ways to blame
your problems
220
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,920
on supportive parents...
221
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,040
..then you SHOULD see a therapist.
222
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,920
And we'll send you
the cheque as we always do.
223
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,560
Jesus, Mathilde.
224
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,000
What? What did I say?
225
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,160
Maman...
226
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,200
Mon bebe...
227
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,080
What is this stuff?
228
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,720
Very niche sex toys.
229
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,400
It was very nice meeting you...both.
230
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,280
We'll take good care of her.
231
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,440
Bye.
232
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:41,480
Bye.
233
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,400
What are you doing?
234
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,520
Station.
235
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,960
Mick wants you to have the car.
236
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,200
You use it more than I do.
237
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,520
Dad, I won't need a car in London.
238
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,160
Drive safe, Momo.
239
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,440
Thank you.
240
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,000
You are a silly, soft man. Come on.
241
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,200
We should tell her about the
broadband.
242
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,000
That it's too slow for pornography?
243
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,360
The password, you pervert.
244
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,320
Hi. Hey, hey.
245
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,320
Hi, welcome home! Thank you.
246
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,760
Are there any more boxes outside?
247
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,240
No. I'm going to...
248
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,160
I need to...prep for lunch. Yep.
249
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,440
Erm, do you want help with that box?
I'm OK.
250
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,400
Hey, your new lodger is seriously...
I will kill you.
251
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,760
Again?
You're taking the mick, you know!
252
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,120
Hi, is everything OK for you guys?
253
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,800
So, I seem to be working here now,
254
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,800
but we haven't talked about
hours or pay.
255
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,000
Long hours, low pay.
Just give me one second.
256
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,520
Are we going to address the way
you just looked at her?
257
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,960
Should we address the way
YOU just looked at her?
258
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,880
I don't expect you to not
notice that she's obviously...
259
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,360
..objectively...
260
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,600
..aesthetically...
261
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,360
I've noticed that.
262
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,080
It's not going to be
a problem for me.
263
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,320
Is it going to be a problem for you?
264
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,880
Answer quicker.
265
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,000
Are you...unhappy?
266
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,160
It just shouldn't be this hard.
267
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,360
We're working every waking minute
and can't afford to put up a sign
268
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,240
or pay our mortgage without
taking in a stranger.
269
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,920
I...feel like we're at
breaking point.
270
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,400
What, us?
271
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,680
No, everything.
272
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,720
THUD UPSTAIRS
273
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,200
I need to go out for a bit.
274
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,520
Don't.
275
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,640
Please don't just disappear...!
276
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,440
WOMAN ON PHONE: You could've moved
onto my aunt's houseboat
277
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,760
if you wanted somewhere cramped and
cluttered.
278
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,200
It isn't that cramped. Look.
279
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,200
Hey, that's my lamp!
280
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,600
I thought you gave it to me?
281
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,560
CLATTERING
Careful. You'll lose the deposit
on your cupboard.
282
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,680
It's not a cupboard.
283
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,800
Do you have all the details about
the job tomorrow?
284
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,200
Moi?
285
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,480
Ray? Ray?
286
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,800
Moira?
287
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,000
Are you there?
288
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,360
The Wi-Fi is crap.
289
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,840
Ray, if you can hear me,
I'll meet you there at ten.
290
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,680
MOIRA: Wilson? Am I in your shirt?
291
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:37,160
Sorry, I didn't know how to mute
you and someone just came in.
292
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,840
Kind of intense to be
thrust into your belly button.
293
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,840
How is everybody?
294
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,760
The same!
Everyone's always the same!
295
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,920
Forget them!
296
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,000
Forget us all! You've escaped!
297
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,400
You're in London having adventures!
298
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,880
You're an adventuress!
299
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,800
I'll see you tomorrow,
OK? Don't be late.
300
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,600
Love you. Shave your legs.
301
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,760
MUSIC: Stay Low
by DLK
302
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,240
Totally insane.
303
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,160
CHATTER
304
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,520
That's it. Loose up a little.
305
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,680
Right, no, come on, you three.
306
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,880
Three? Yes, you.
307
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,400
Kitchen duties now.
308
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,920
Wash your hands.
309
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,760
I want to show you something useful.
310
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,520
Hey. Hey.
311
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,080
Thank you.
312
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,000
Are you sure you don't mind?
Nan gave it to you.
313
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,240
Yeah, so Mum couldn't pawn it.
314
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,120
Nan would fully endorse this
decision.
315
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,640
Don't you want to...? If a man
wants to take on me and Danny,
316
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,280
he can damn well by me a new one.
317
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,240
Ah!
318
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,560
There you go.
319
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,640
We used to play weddings,
do you remember? Yeah.
320
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,920
Pillowcase on my head!
321
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,360
Didn't I marry...
322
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,600
..Ricky P...in the first placement?
323
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,520
Ricky P, yeah, I officiated!
324
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,880
Well, I hope she says yes.
325
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,080
You are an arsehole.
326
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,280
I hope she can overlook your many,
many flaws!
327
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,760
OK. Enough of that.
328
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,600
No, I put loads of flour and it's
still not working. No, listen to me.
329
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,440
Are you wanting to do it properly or
not? Yes.
330
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:07,600
OK. "Yes, Chef." Yes, Chef.
331
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,160
Pass that to me. Yep. Unless you
want to have a go at this?
332
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,000
Do you want to have a go at this?
Yeah.
333
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,720
Do this. OK. There. Yes.
Don't pull it up.
334
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,480
You can put the spoon...
Oh, and then just tuck it out.
335
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,920
..through the back, tuck it
underneath.
336
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,600
But you need to throw this away,
guys, please. Concentrate.
337
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,560
We're going to chuck this away,
like I said,
338
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,360
because you don't need to use this
any more because you've ruined it.
339
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:06,520
Right, chuck this out.
340
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,080
Asher's going to
get your apprenticeship, Victor.
341
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,200
Pay attention, yeah?
342
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,360
SLOW-PACED MUSIC PLAYS
343
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,800
Hey, um, thanks for today, Chef.
344
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,680
You are so welcome, Asher.
345
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,640
Where have you been?
346
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,280
No, wait. I smell like fish guts!
347
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,960
When do you finish?
348
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,680
I'm done. Can we go out? What, now?
Aren't you exhausted?
349
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,480
Yeah, I'm practically dead,
but I miss you.
350
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,400
Somewhere cheap? Mm-hm.
351
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,760
Oh! Well, yeah, fish guts.
352
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:56,960
Ah! Hey! Hey!
353
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,800
You've got a date.
I'm taking you out.
354
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:03,200
Oh! Va-va-voom! Va-va... Va-va...
Ha!
355
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,120
TV: At this stage, though...
356
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,360
Hey! Hey. Hey!
357
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:13,920
How are you settling in? Great.
I'm watching a wildlife documentary.
358
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,080
It's quite traumatic.
359
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,840
We love this show!
We call it Nature's Bastards.
360
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,680
We're going for a drink.
That sounds amazing. I'm so bored!
361
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Do I have time to shower?
362
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,760
Um... Yeah. Mm-hm.
363
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,560
Of course.
364
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,040
Yo! We need...
365
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,840
We need a night of just us,
we need to talk!
366
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,920
I know!
367
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,040
This is the situation that we find
ourselves in.
368
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,560
Oh... Now? Yeah.
369
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:53,600
Quickly!
370
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,080
And quietly.
371
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,600
THEY BOTH MOAN
372
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,000
I'll be five minutes.
373
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,560
Okey dokey!
SHE GIGGLES
374
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,080
Jesus, Maria, Jose!
375
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,360
OK, I need to... More...
376
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:38,400
Put on face...
377
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,400
Where are we going? Oh, this place
Gemma used to work at.
378
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,960
It's nice.
379
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,000
It's really quiet.
380
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,440
MUSIC PLAYS
381
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,560
Should we...?
382
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:00,920
Should we go for a quieter drink?
383
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,640
Do you want to go somewhere else?
Great, guys. Stay?
384
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,520
Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah.
385
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:11,640
I am guessing that this
is your first night out in London?
386
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,080
Ahh, everyone looks amazing!
387
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,280
Look, that's Jason!
Gemma knows him.
388
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,960
That's great! Oh, wow.
389
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:27,200
Oh, my God! We finally made it out,
babe, thank you!
390
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,240
They're really good.
Shall we stay?
391
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,760
Let's stay, let's stay.
Let's stay, let's stay, yeah.
392
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,120
I love you, Gem. Love you.
393
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:43,640
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
394
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,680
I have to wash my hands, actually.
395
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,160
Oh, sorry...
396
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:57,360
No, you are not in my way.
397
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,400
What did I do?
398
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,920
Oh, my God, what have you done!
399
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,720
Oh, your hair is so knotty...
400
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:07,960
Oh, shit!
401
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,640
Oh! Are you OK, hon?
What did you lose?
402
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,000
A ring.
403
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,240
Nobody move! Nobody move!
404
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,320
Loose jewellery!
405
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,800
Gemma? Jason!
406
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:22,760
What happened here?
407
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,120
They were going to close and they
let me do a drag night on a Friday
408
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,040
and we smashed it,
now it's the whole weekend!
409
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,880
I used to work here with Jason.
410
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,280
Ray. Hi.
411
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,800
Hi, nice to meet you.
412
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,480
So, did you and Kieran finally...?
413
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,600
She's our lodger, you twat...!
414
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,320
Excuse me. I'm sorry. I am sorry.
415
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,760
Oh! Check under my skirt...
416
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,160
Is it...? No. No.
417
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,440
I DO!
418
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,680
GENTLE LAUGHTER
419
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,120
Oh, thank you! You're amazing.
420
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,480
Now you may kiss the bride.
421
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,160
Congratulations!
422
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,680
Gem, I want to
talk to you about something.
423
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,960
You pillock...
424
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,120
Can we go somewhere quieter?
425
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,240
What?
426
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,440
Thank God!
She's a dork, just like us.
427
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,480
Speak for yourself, dork.
428
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,720
I've never been to a drag night
before and it's really fun!
429
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,040
Never used to be like this.
430
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,440
We haven't been here in ages.
431
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,040
Haven't been anywhere in ages.
432
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,680
Oh, my God...
I have crashed your date.
433
00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,800
I am so sorry.
434
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,880
Ray, you haven't.
I'm an idiot, I am so sorry.
435
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,360
Don't be silly, Ray, come on.
436
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,480
I'm going back to the flat.
437
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,600
What? What? No. Stay. Stay.
438
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,640
CHEERING
439
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,480
All right, all right.
440
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,960
Welcome. Welcome.
Welcome, friends and lovers.
441
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,000
You're all very welcome.
442
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:27,200
Even this adorable
trio of interlopers.
443
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,840
Tell me,
which one of you's the unicorn?
444
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:34,040
Only kidding,
only kidding, I don't really care.
445
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,720
What does that mean - "unicorn"?
Now I wouldn't be here, and none
446
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,440
of you glorious queens would be
here if it wasn't for the legendary,
447
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,640
the pioneering Ms Nina Fahrenheit!
448
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,760
ALL: MOVE OVER!
449
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,320
What does that mean?
I have no fucking idea.
450
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,200
The UK drag scene owes her
a huge debt.
451
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,880
Come say a few words, Midge.
452
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:07,960
Hello, all.
453
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,880
GREETINGS FROM CROWD
454
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:15,200
Some of you may know that
Nina Fahrenheit was known
455
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,760
to her family as Graham Buchanan.
456
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,640
I am Graham's sister.
457
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:28,520
Two days ago, we scattered
some of Graham's ashes on the Heath.
458
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,040
But we've yet to say
goodbye to Nina.
459
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:41,920
CHEERING
460
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,080
MUSIC: You Make Me Feel
(Mighty Real) by Sylvester
461
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,760
I feel like shit.
462
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,280
I really appreciate you not
making fun of me.
463
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:14,760
Why would we?
464
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,080
People think it's camp and stupid.
465
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,640
Have you seriously not googled me?
466
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,520
That's kind of irresponsible.
467
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,880
It's none of our business.
468
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,080
I couldn't find anything.
469
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,000
You googled Ray, not Ramona.
470
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,120
You're a spy.
471
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:53,600
Let's get this over with.
472
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,800
I am going to get whatever cocktails
take the longest to make.
473
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,160
What if we just don't look?
474
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,880
Yeah. We could just not look at it.
475
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,560
You got any lash glue, Jason?
I've sweated these right off.
476
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,840
Must be going through the change.
477
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,600
I am, I'm sorry about your friend.
478
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,280
I told her,
skydiving's for the young.
479
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,240
So, you live with them?
480
00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:37,280
I moved in today.
481
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,720
Oh, shit.
There's a whole team of her.
482
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:45,760
Babe...
483
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,840
She was awesome...
484
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:52,840
A unicorn is...
485
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,760
..you know how the odd-one-out
is a lemon?
486
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,040
You mean a gooseberry?
487
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,400
A unicorn is the opposite.
488
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,440
I don't understand.
489
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,440
It's the third party who makes it,
you know...
490
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:14,680
..a party.
491
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,000
Oh.
492
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,640
Oh.
493
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,920
What's that one? "Accident"?
494
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:31,640
What happened? Oh, God.
495
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,160
Is she going to be OK?
Is she going to be OK?
496
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,440
Those are on me.
497
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,000
It's rare to meet a unicorn.
498
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,720
That's because they're mythical.
499
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:50,880
The way they're looking at you,
you're definitely not a lemon.
500
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,280
Do you believe in signs?
501
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,400
What, like from the universe?
502
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,200
Do you?
503
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,240
Yes. No.
504
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,720
I should have quit after
the Olympics.
505
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,440
I could have gone to college.
506
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:34,800
Retrained.
507
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,040
Had a life.
508
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,120
You have a life.
509
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,120
Not like you two.
510
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,080
You've been places, done stuff.
511
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,120
Had adventures.
512
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,760
And I've been in a pool
the whole time.
513
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,480
I ignored every sign saying stop.
514
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:54,800
Not any more.
515
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,760
Next instruction I get from the
universe, I am going to listen.
516
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,160
Oh, my God.
517
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,400
Oh.
518
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,120
Wait, don't rub it, I know this!
519
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,200
It was crazy.
520
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:19,600
Fuck.
521
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,120
So, this for hair.
522
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,600
And coconut oil for the skin.
523
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,480
I can't believe this knowledge
has a real-world application!
524
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,440
Am I doing this right?
Yeah. Then what?
525
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,880
And then with water.
I'll end up like a mermaid.
526
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,880
Is it coming off? No.
527
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,760
You've gotta put oil on first.
528
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,320
I shouldn't have
got in the pool that day.
529
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,520
I knew it.
530
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,640
I'd been pushing too
hard for too long.
531
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:03,840
I couldn't keep up.
532
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,280
Does it hurt?
533
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,240
No, it's OK... It's like yours.
534
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,040
Angry drunks, falling grannies...
535
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,360
He's kind of a hero.
536
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:26,600
Yeah. Mine's less heroic.
537
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,160
Bigger, though.
538
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:41,880
How about you?
539
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:45,280
Or is she perfect?
540
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,720
Sorry... It's fine. She is.
541
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,120
She is perfect.
542
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,200
Err, I... I'd better...
543
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,480
Yeah. We'll let you get to it.
544
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,120
Goodnight.
Night. Thanks for the tip.
545
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,840
Goodnight, Ray. Yeah.
37832
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