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Today on Broken Britain...
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00:00:03,686 --> 00:00:03,686
Brexit hasn't made us any happier.
3
00:00:05,726 --> 00:00:05,726
Brexit hasn't made us any happier.
4
00:00:05,966 --> 00:00:05,966
The country remains as divided
as ever,
5
00:00:08,006 --> 00:00:08,006
The country remains as divided
as ever,
6
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:08,486
so we ask,
have the people had a gut full?
7
00:00:10,526 --> 00:00:10,526
so we ask,
have the people had a gut full?
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00:00:11,606 --> 00:00:11,606
Right, you slag!
9
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:13,055
Not in the moustache!
10
00:00:14,726 --> 00:00:14,726
What a bloody mess...
11
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:16,766
What a bloody mess...
12
00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:17,126
But the government have
been in touch,
13
00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:19,046
they want us to do what we do best,
cheer up Britain.
14
00:00:21,086 --> 00:00:21,086
they want us to do what we do best,
cheer up Britain.
15
00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:21,695
You up for it?
16
00:00:22,886 --> 00:00:22,886
I'm a huge believer
in the power of yes,
17
00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:24,926
I'm a huge believer
in the power of yes,
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00:00:25,215 --> 00:00:25,215
so, yes.
19
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:26,126
But we are all going to have
to up our game,
20
00:00:27,935 --> 00:00:27,935
so I'll be aiming to do one royal
duty every two days.
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00:00:30,015 --> 00:00:30,015
so I'll be aiming to do one royal
duty every two days.
22
00:00:30,326 --> 00:00:30,326
What?!I know.
23
00:00:31,775 --> 00:00:31,775
And only some of them will be
sporting events
24
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:33,566
I would've gone to anyway.
DOOR OPENS
25
00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:34,886
Sorry I'm late.No probs, bro.
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00:00:37,766 --> 00:00:37,766
Whoa!
27
00:00:40,646 --> 00:00:40,646
Namaste.
28
00:00:42,086 --> 00:00:42,086
You look different.
Well, actually, you know what,
29
00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:44,126
You look different.
Well, actually, you know what,
30
00:00:44,966 --> 00:00:44,966
I feel different.
31
00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:46,286
I can't see any change.
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00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:47,966
Mind you, we just got back from six
weeks in a wellness centre.
33
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:50,015
Mind you, we just got back from six
weeks in a wellness centre.
34
00:00:50,975 --> 00:00:50,975
Given up alcohol. Never felt better.
35
00:00:56,966 --> 00:00:56,966
We're brainstorming a way
to cheer up the country.
36
00:00:59,006 --> 00:00:59,006
Well, the public love it
when we have babies.
37
00:01:00,926 --> 00:01:00,926
Maybe I could get you up
the duff again, Meghan.
38
00:01:02,726 --> 00:01:02,726
It's a little soon.
39
00:01:03,935 --> 00:01:03,935
Well, what if I pop a nodder on?
40
00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:05,846
I could go on a speaking tour
telling people not to eat avocados!
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00:01:07,886 --> 00:01:07,886
I could go on a speaking tour
telling people not to eat avocados!
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00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:09,326
This may be a super food,
43
00:01:10,886 --> 00:01:10,886
but the way this food's produced
is anything but super.
44
00:01:12,926 --> 00:01:12,926
but the way this food's produced
is anything but super.
45
00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:13,646
Are you sure that's a good idea?
46
00:01:15,086 --> 00:01:15,086
Do you think I want to speak
out against avocados?
47
00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:17,126
Do you think I want to speak
out against avocados?
48
00:01:18,335 --> 00:01:18,335
Can you imagine what a bitter
blow it was for me personally
49
00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:20,366
Can you imagine what a bitter
blow it was for me personally
50
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:21,215
to find out that the food I love,
51
00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:23,295
to find out that the food I love,
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00:01:23,606 --> 00:01:23,606
the food packed with omega 3 oils,
proteins and vitamins,
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00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:25,646
the food packed with omega 3 oils,
proteins and vitamins,
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00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:27,135
is unsustainably produced?
55
00:01:30,086 --> 00:01:30,086
Right...
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00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:31,526
Well, I for one think it's great
to be given a mission.
57
00:01:33,566 --> 00:01:33,566
Well, I for one think it's great
to be given a mission.
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00:01:33,855 --> 00:01:33,855
Sometimes my life can feel
a little bit pointless.
59
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:35,846
Sometimes my life can feel
a little bit pointless.
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00:01:36,566 --> 00:01:36,566
Hey.
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00:01:37,646 --> 00:01:37,646
You've already done your bit.
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00:01:39,086 --> 00:01:39,086
You've produced three wonderful
healthy children,
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00:01:41,126 --> 00:01:41,126
You've produced three wonderful
healthy children,
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00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:41,375
then, lost all the weight.
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00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:43,406
Mm...
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00:01:44,966 --> 00:01:44,966
Children!
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00:01:46,046 --> 00:01:46,046
I could colour co-ordinate them in
lavender and take them to Lego Land.
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00:01:48,095 --> 00:01:48,095
I could colour co-ordinate them in
lavender and take them to Lego Land.
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00:01:49,646 --> 00:01:49,646
What British subject
wouldn't love that?
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00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:51,566
Brilliant.
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00:01:53,486 --> 00:01:53,486
Let's bring people together and
put a smile back on Britain's face.
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00:01:55,526 --> 00:01:55,526
Let's bring people together and
put a smile back on Britain's face.
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00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:57,326
Let's do this thing!
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00:01:59,366 --> 00:01:59,366
So, we're agreed,
we're all going on strike.
75
00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:01,406
So, we're agreed,
we're all going on strike.
76
00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:02,366
A 4% rise in the sovereign
grant is ridiculous.
77
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:04,415
A 4% rise in the sovereign
grant is ridiculous.
78
00:02:05,855 --> 00:02:05,855
Yes, it is a bit low,
79
00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:07,766
and I built up rather a lot of debt
when my key cutting bar went bust.
80
00:02:09,806 --> 00:02:09,806
and I built up rather a lot of debt
when my key cutting bar went bust.
81
00:02:11,246 --> 00:02:11,246
With my track record,
I can hardly go to the banks.
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00:02:13,286 --> 00:02:13,286
With my track record,
I can hardly go to the banks.
83
00:02:13,535 --> 00:02:13,535
PHONE VIBRATES
84
00:02:15,566 --> 00:02:15,566
Yeah, this whole Epstein thing's
put quite a dent in my, erm,
85
00:02:17,606 --> 00:02:17,606
Yeah, this whole Epstein thing's
put quite a dent in my, erm,
86
00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:19,646
Yeah, this whole Epstein thing's
put quite a dent in my, erm,
87
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:20,006
other income streams.
88
00:02:21,686 --> 00:02:21,686
Oh, yes, your nonce chum
who hanged himself.
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00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:23,726
Oh, yes, your nonce chum
who hanged himself.
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00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:24,686
Hey, I just used to go to
his parties, fly on his jet
91
00:02:26,726 --> 00:02:26,726
Hey, I just used to go to
his parties, fly on his jet
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00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:27,566
and stay in his house.
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00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:29,126
I was never his friend.
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00:02:31,286 --> 00:02:31,286
I thought the government was
asking us to cheer up Britain.
95
00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:33,326
I thought the government was
asking us to cheer up Britain.
96
00:02:34,175 --> 00:02:34,175
That's why I've
got my party clothes on.
97
00:02:36,255 --> 00:02:36,255
That's why I've
got my party clothes on.
98
00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:36,926
Which is why it's the perfect time,
when they need us most.
99
00:02:38,975 --> 00:02:38,975
Which is why it's the perfect time,
when they need us most.
100
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:40,166
Oh, I've just seen,
the Chelsea Flower Show's coming up.
101
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:42,206
Oh, I've just seen,
the Chelsea Flower Show's coming up.
102
00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:43,166
It can't go ahead if there isn't
a senior royal to open it.
103
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:45,206
It can't go ahead if there isn't
a senior royal to open it.
104
00:02:46,286 --> 00:02:46,286
Which is why we should strike now.
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00:02:48,326 --> 00:02:48,326
Which is why we should strike now.
106
00:02:48,575 --> 00:02:48,575
Are you with me?
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00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:50,606
ALL: Yes!
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00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:53,606
Everybody out.
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00:03:00,255 --> 00:03:00,255
MUSIC: Rule Britannia
110
00:03:16,286 --> 00:03:16,286
Feels like I haven't seen
you for ages, Eugenie.
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00:03:18,326 --> 00:03:18,326
Feels like I haven't seen
you for ages, Eugenie.
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00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:19,166
Sorry Bea.
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00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:20,966
Been so busy, honeymoon,
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00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:22,815
doing up the house, being married.
115
00:03:24,806 --> 00:03:24,806
doing up the house, being married.
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00:03:25,286 --> 00:03:25,286
Wish I was married,
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00:03:26,846 --> 00:03:26,846
or at least engaged.
118
00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:28,895
or at least engaged.
119
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:29,126
It'll happen. You're only 30.
120
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:31,166
It'll happen. You're only 30.
121
00:03:31,526 --> 00:03:31,526
I'm 31.Oh.
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00:03:33,566 --> 00:03:33,566
I'm 31.Oh.
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00:03:33,926 --> 00:03:33,926
Anyway, I've thought of a great new
idea for a business.Right.
124
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:35,966
Anyway, I've thought of a great new
idea for a business.Right.
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00:03:38,006 --> 00:03:38,006
You know how all the top celebs are
releasing their own drinks range?
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00:03:40,046 --> 00:03:40,046
You know how all the top celebs are
releasing their own drinks range?
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00:03:40,886 --> 00:03:40,886
Well, I've thought of one for us.
128
00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:42,566
Gin voddy rum.
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00:03:43,775 --> 00:03:43,775
Gin vodka and rum,
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00:03:45,566 --> 00:03:45,566
all in one handy bottle.
131
00:03:47,615 --> 00:03:47,615
Did you get this idea
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00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:49,046
because Jack's a tequila
ambassador for George Clooney?
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00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:51,086
because Jack's a tequila
ambassador for George Clooney?
134
00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:51,806
No, I got it from watching
Mummy pour a drink.
135
00:03:53,855 --> 00:03:53,855
No, I got it from watching
Mummy pour a drink.
136
00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:55,406
So, what do you think?
137
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:56,486
Sorry, Bea, I'm in a different
place in my life right now.
138
00:03:58,526 --> 00:03:58,526
Sorry, Bea, I'm in a different
place in my life right now.
139
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:00,206
I'm married,
and Jack's doing really well.
140
00:04:02,246 --> 00:04:02,246
I'm married,
and Jack's doing really well.
141
00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:03,086
We've decided, as a couple,
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00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:05,126
We've decided, as a couple,
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00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:05,375
that I should just put my feet up
for the next 60 years.
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00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:07,455
that I should just put my feet up
for the next 60 years.
145
00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:08,966
Hello, Beatrice.Hi, Jack.
146
00:04:11,726 --> 00:04:11,726
I'm just off to work.
147
00:04:13,766 --> 00:04:13,766
I'm just off to work.
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00:04:14,015 --> 00:04:14,015
Have a good day, darling.Tequila!
149
00:04:16,046 --> 00:04:16,046
Have a good day, darling.Tequila!
150
00:04:16,766 --> 00:04:16,766
Shot!
151
00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:20,895
Look, Bea, you're not married,
152
00:04:22,886 --> 00:04:22,886
Look, Bea, you're not married,
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00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:23,366
you've got time on your hands.
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00:04:25,406 --> 00:04:25,406
you've got time on your hands.
155
00:04:25,646 --> 00:04:25,646
Why don't you do it?
156
00:04:27,455 --> 00:04:27,455
What, on my own?Yes.
157
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:29,486
What, on my own?Yes.
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00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:30,335
To be honest, all that "I want to do
something with my life" stuff
159
00:04:32,415 --> 00:04:32,415
To be honest, all that "I want to do
something with my life" stuff
160
00:04:33,086 --> 00:04:33,086
was way more your thing, anyway.
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00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:36,326
OK, well,
162
00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:38,006
better be off, then...
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00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:41,375
You can do it, Bea!
164
00:04:43,406 --> 00:04:43,406
You can do it, Bea!
165
00:04:48,446 --> 00:04:48,446
Right...
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00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:50,246
Storage Hunters.
167
00:04:58,886 --> 00:04:58,886
Hello.
168
00:05:00,095 --> 00:05:00,095
Camilla, what are you doing here?
169
00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:02,175
Camilla, what are you doing here?
170
00:05:02,655 --> 00:05:02,655
I thought you were in Mustique,
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00:05:04,286 --> 00:05:04,286
giving it the full
Princess Margaret.
172
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:06,206
They ran out of fags.
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00:05:08,255 --> 00:05:08,255
They ran out of fags.
174
00:05:08,486 --> 00:05:08,486
What the hell is this?
175
00:05:09,806 --> 00:05:09,806
I've gone on strike.
All the siblings have.
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00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:11,846
I've gone on strike.
All the siblings have.
177
00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:14,126
The Prince of Wales earns just
178
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:16,166
The Prince of Wales earns just
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00:05:16,646 --> 00:05:16,646
130 times more than a doctor.
180
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:18,686
130 times more than a doctor.
181
00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:20,735
You fuckwit!
182
00:05:21,806 --> 00:05:21,806
When I'm king,
which will be any day now,
183
00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:23,846
When I'm king,
which will be any day now,
184
00:05:24,806 --> 00:05:24,806
I shall need a salary that
befits a king.
185
00:05:26,846 --> 00:05:26,846
I shall need a salary that
befits a king.
186
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:27,326
What you need is sectioning.
187
00:05:29,006 --> 00:05:29,006
Oh, contraire Camilla.
188
00:05:30,815 --> 00:05:30,815
This strike action is going to prove
that I shall be a strong king,
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00:05:32,846 --> 00:05:32,846
This strike action is going to prove
that I shall be a strong king,
190
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:34,166
making my own decisions.
191
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:35,966
I see the Fab Four aren't on strike.
192
00:05:38,015 --> 00:05:38,015
I see the Fab Four aren't on strike.
193
00:05:38,495 --> 00:05:38,495
I didn't ask them.
194
00:05:39,686 --> 00:05:39,686
Just makes them more popular
and you more irrelevant.
195
00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:41,726
Just makes them more popular
and you more irrelevant.
196
00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:42,206
Camilla, you underestimate
197
00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:44,255
Camilla, you underestimate
198
00:05:45,086 --> 00:05:45,086
the raw charisma of us
older princes.
199
00:05:47,135 --> 00:05:47,135
the raw charisma of us
older princes.
200
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:49,215
the raw charisma of us
older princes.
201
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:49,526
Are you joking?
202
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:50,966
NEWS REPORT:Following the ceremony,
the Duchess of Sussex...
203
00:05:53,006 --> 00:05:53,006
NEWS REPORT:Following the ceremony,
the Duchess of Sussex...
204
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:53,486
Scratch card buying scum love them.
205
00:05:55,526 --> 00:05:55,526
Scratch card buying scum love them.
206
00:05:56,415 --> 00:05:56,415
I need to drive a wedge
between them...
207
00:05:58,406 --> 00:05:58,406
I need to drive a wedge
between them...
208
00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:00,206
..but how?
209
00:06:01,406 --> 00:06:01,406
MEGHAN:And if you know someone
who's struggling, why don't you
210
00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:03,455
MEGHAN:And if you know someone
who's struggling, why don't you
211
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:05,366
give them a banana with
a validating slogan up the side?
212
00:06:07,406 --> 00:06:07,406
give them a banana with
a validating slogan up the side?
213
00:06:08,006 --> 00:06:08,006
What's the worst that could happen?
214
00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:09,806
They'd get a free banana.
215
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:11,246
But now, I'd like to say a little
something about avocados...
216
00:06:13,286 --> 00:06:13,286
But now, I'd like to say a little
something about avocados...
217
00:06:15,326 --> 00:06:15,326
But now, I'd like to say a little
something about avocados...
218
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:16,166
It saddens me that this super food
219
00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:18,206
It saddens me that this super food
220
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:18,446
is causing the indigenous tribes
of the Andes Mountain...
221
00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:20,486
is causing the indigenous tribes
of the Andes Mountain...
222
00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:23,846
Hm.
223
00:06:31,406 --> 00:06:31,406
DOORBELL
224
00:06:36,806 --> 00:06:36,806
Hello?
225
00:06:38,495 --> 00:06:38,495
Hello, my dear.
226
00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:40,575
Hello, my dear.
227
00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:40,766
Camilla, you startled me.
228
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:42,335
May I?
229
00:06:46,046 --> 00:06:46,046
I wanted to congratulate
you in person
230
00:06:48,095 --> 00:06:48,095
I wanted to congratulate
you in person
231
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:48,575
on your recent addresses
on fruit and veg.
232
00:06:50,655 --> 00:06:50,655
on your recent addresses
on fruit and veg.
233
00:06:51,806 --> 00:06:51,806
Bananas and avocados are something
I feel passionate about.
234
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:53,855
Bananas and avocados are something
I feel passionate about.
235
00:06:55,406 --> 00:06:55,406
And it's only right that you
share your positive energy
236
00:06:57,446 --> 00:06:57,446
And it's only right that you
share your positive energy
237
00:06:59,006 --> 00:06:59,006
and life lessons with others.
238
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:01,046
and life lessons with others.
239
00:07:01,646 --> 00:07:01,646
You really get me, don't you?
240
00:07:03,455 --> 00:07:03,455
Oh, yes.
241
00:07:06,446 --> 00:07:06,446
But does Kate?
242
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:08,366
I don't know.
243
00:07:10,526 --> 00:07:10,526
Doesn't she?Well...
244
00:07:13,286 --> 00:07:13,286
..I shouldn't.
245
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:15,135
Please, share.
246
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:16,895
I hate to be a gossip,
247
00:07:18,326 --> 00:07:18,326
but the other day when you were
making your speech,
248
00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:20,366
but the other day when you were
making your speech,
249
00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:21,215
I happened to notice Kate being
less than supportive...
250
00:07:23,295 --> 00:07:23,295
I happened to notice Kate being
less than supportive...
251
00:07:25,286 --> 00:07:25,286
I happened to notice Kate being
less than supportive...
252
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:27,206
Oh, my God!
253
00:07:29,006 --> 00:07:29,006
She's mocking me.Yes...
254
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:32,366
And it gets worse.
255
00:07:34,406 --> 00:07:34,406
I have the actual banana
she was writing on.
256
00:07:36,446 --> 00:07:36,446
I have the actual banana
she was writing on.
257
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:38,726
"That nosy Yank
should shut her gob."
258
00:07:40,766 --> 00:07:40,766
"That nosy Yank
should shut her gob."
259
00:07:41,006 --> 00:07:41,006
Oh, my God!
260
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:42,446
There's something on the back.
261
00:07:44,486 --> 00:07:44,486
There's something on the back.
262
00:07:46,886 --> 00:07:46,886
"Fucking slag."
263
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:48,686
That doesn't sound like Kate.
264
00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:50,726
Well, she hasn't always been royal.
265
00:07:53,846 --> 00:07:53,846
Please, what should I do, Camilla?
266
00:07:55,886 --> 00:07:55,886
Please, what should I do, Camilla?
267
00:07:56,486 --> 00:07:56,486
Go your own way,
268
00:07:57,806 --> 00:07:57,806
separate your two houses.
269
00:07:59,606 --> 00:07:59,606
Really?They've never
appreciated your unique voice.
270
00:08:01,646 --> 00:08:01,646
Really?They've never
appreciated your unique voice.
271
00:08:03,686 --> 00:08:03,686
In fact, why not move to
North America and use it more?
272
00:08:05,726 --> 00:08:05,726
In fact, why not move to
North America and use it more?
273
00:08:07,455 --> 00:08:07,455
Speak out on literally anything
that comes in to your head.
274
00:08:09,446 --> 00:08:09,446
Speak out on literally anything
that comes in to your head.
275
00:08:12,446 --> 00:08:12,446
Thank you, Camilla.
276
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:14,495
Thank you, Camilla.
277
00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:14,726
It's good to know in the royal
family I have at least one friend.
278
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:16,766
It's good to know in the royal
family I have at least one friend.
279
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:18,815
It's good to know in the royal
family I have at least one friend.
280
00:08:19,295 --> 00:08:19,295
Yes...
281
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:21,375
You do.
282
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:31,886
What the...? Jack?
283
00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:35,006
Oh, hello, Eugenie.
284
00:08:36,926 --> 00:08:36,926
I just popped out of the office
for a spot of fresh air.
285
00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:38,975
I just popped out of the office
for a spot of fresh air.
286
00:08:39,326 --> 00:08:39,326
The office is miles away.
287
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:42,086
What's going on?
288
00:08:43,775 --> 00:08:43,775
Oh, Eugenie, I've been sacked.
289
00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:45,855
Oh, Eugenie, I've been sacked.
290
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:46,526
When?Two months ago.
291
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:48,575
When?Two months ago.
292
00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:48,806
What?
293
00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:49,766
I couldn't face telling you
so every day I've been putting on
294
00:08:51,806 --> 00:08:51,806
I couldn't face telling you
so every day I've been putting on
295
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:52,166
my work stuff and coming
out here and feeding the ducks.
296
00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:54,206
my work stuff and coming
out here and feeding the ducks.
297
00:08:54,566 --> 00:08:54,566
Is that why all the ducks are drunk?
298
00:08:56,255 --> 00:08:56,255
When you run out of bread to feed
them and you've got nothing else...
299
00:08:58,286 --> 00:08:58,286
When you run out of bread to feed
them and you've got nothing else...
300
00:09:00,926 --> 00:09:00,926
Why didn't you tell me?
301
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:02,975
I was ashamed.
302
00:09:04,766 --> 00:09:04,766
That smarmy faced fucker.
303
00:09:06,815 --> 00:09:06,815
That smarmy faced fucker.
304
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:07,046
This is not George Clooney's fault.
305
00:09:09,086 --> 00:09:09,086
Well, anyway, there's more to life
than tequila.
306
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:11,126
Well, anyway, there's more to life
than tequila.
307
00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:12,926
Shot!
308
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:15,806
You should've said.
309
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:17,375
We're in this together.
310
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:18,926
Better for worse.
311
00:09:20,415 --> 00:09:20,415
Richer for poorer.
312
00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:22,406
Now, what else can you do?
313
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:24,326
Nothing.
314
00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:25,535
I went straight in to the
hospitality industry from school.
315
00:09:27,615 --> 00:09:27,615
I went straight in to the
hospitality industry from school.
316
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:30,335
It's all I know, Eugenie!
317
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:32,366
It's all I know, Eugenie!
318
00:09:35,486 --> 00:09:35,486
Poor Jack.
319
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:37,286
So, there's no money
coming in to the house at all.
320
00:09:39,326 --> 00:09:39,326
So, there's no money
coming in to the house at all.
321
00:09:39,615 --> 00:09:39,615
I'll just have to...Get a job?
322
00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:41,606
I was going to say ask
Dad for 200 grand.
323
00:09:43,646 --> 00:09:43,646
I was going to say ask
Dad for 200 grand.
324
00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:44,606
Bad timing,
he's got a lot of legal bills.
325
00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:46,655
Bad timing,
he's got a lot of legal bills.
326
00:09:49,286 --> 00:09:49,286
I've got an idea.
327
00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:50,726
You could come and work with me.
In fact, both of you could.
328
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:52,766
You could come and work with me.
In fact, both of you could.
329
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:53,726
This is right in Jack's wheelhouse.
330
00:09:55,775 --> 00:09:55,775
This is right in Jack's wheelhouse.
331
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:56,846
Really, you'd do that?
332
00:09:58,655 --> 00:09:58,655
After I let you down?
333
00:09:59,966 --> 00:09:59,966
Of course. We're sisters, aren't we?
334
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:02,015
Of course. We're sisters, aren't we?
335
00:10:07,646 --> 00:10:07,646
# Brothers and sisters in the union
336
00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:09,566
# Father, uncle and aunt
337
00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:11,615
# Father, uncle and aunt
338
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:12,095
# Striving together for a rise
339
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:14,126
# Striving together for a rise
340
00:10:14,606 --> 00:10:14,606
# In the sovereign grant...
341
00:10:16,646 --> 00:10:16,646
# In the sovereign grant...
342
00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:17,126
This is very clever,
343
00:10:19,046 --> 00:10:19,046
warmth comes out of it.
344
00:10:21,086 --> 00:10:21,086
warmth comes out of it.
345
00:10:21,326 --> 00:10:21,326
I might get one for my house.
346
00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:22,646
Oh? How do you heat it
at the moment?I don't.
347
00:10:24,686 --> 00:10:24,686
Oh? How do you heat it
at the moment?I don't.
348
00:10:25,535 --> 00:10:25,535
I say Charlie boy, this strike
doesn't really seem to be biting.
349
00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:27,615
I say Charlie boy, this strike
doesn't really seem to be biting.
350
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:29,606
I say Charlie boy, this strike
doesn't really seem to be biting.
351
00:10:29,966 --> 00:10:29,966
Is there any way we can put
a rocket under this thing?
352
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:32,006
Is there any way we can put
a rocket under this thing?
353
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:32,966
Yes.
354
00:10:34,815 --> 00:10:34,815
I think there is.
355
00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:43,295
Dad, what did you want
to see me about?
356
00:10:45,326 --> 00:10:45,326
Dad, what did you want
to see me about?
357
00:10:46,286 --> 00:10:46,286
I want you to join our strike.
358
00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:48,326
You're on strike?
359
00:10:49,526 --> 00:10:49,526
Meh, no-one's taken
much notice so far.
360
00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:51,566
Meh, no-one's taken
much notice so far.
361
00:10:52,646 --> 00:10:52,646
It seems if we're not actually there
to open a leisure centre,
362
00:10:54,686 --> 00:10:54,686
It seems if we're not actually there
to open a leisure centre,
363
00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:56,126
after some initial confusion,
364
00:10:58,166 --> 00:10:58,166
after some initial confusion,
365
00:10:58,406 --> 00:10:58,406
they just use the leisure centre.
366
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:00,446
they just use the leisure centre.
367
00:11:00,686 --> 00:11:00,686
I see.
368
00:11:01,766 --> 00:11:01,766
I thought if you younger,
more popular royals...
369
00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:03,806
I thought if you younger,
more popular royals...
370
00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:05,006
When the government's asked us
to cheer up the nation?
371
00:11:07,046 --> 00:11:07,046
When the government's asked us
to cheer up the nation?
372
00:11:07,406 --> 00:11:07,406
But that's why it's
the perfect time.
373
00:11:08,846 --> 00:11:08,846
With the country going
right down the shitter!
374
00:11:10,526 --> 00:11:10,526
Not my words. Andrew Marr's.
375
00:11:12,095 --> 00:11:12,095
My answer is no.
376
00:11:13,535 --> 00:11:13,535
Does family loyalty mean
nothing to you?
377
00:11:15,615 --> 00:11:15,615
Does family loyalty mean
nothing to you?
378
00:11:16,286 --> 00:11:16,286
The country needs healing.
379
00:11:17,606 --> 00:11:17,606
Do you know what I saw yesterday?
380
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:19,046
A van driver shout
"wanker" at a 40-year-old man
381
00:11:20,966 --> 00:11:20,966
just because he was on a skateboard
reading a comic.
382
00:11:23,006 --> 00:11:23,006
just because he was on a skateboard
reading a comic.
383
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:23,486
I see...
384
00:11:25,055 --> 00:11:25,055
Well, if you have no loyalty to me,
385
00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:27,135
Well, if you have no loyalty to me,
386
00:11:27,326 --> 00:11:27,326
what about your children?
387
00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:28,886
You leave my children out of this.
388
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:30,495
But they're already in it.
389
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:32,126
Think what their lives will be
like in 20, 30 years' time,
390
00:11:34,175 --> 00:11:34,175
Think what their lives will be
like in 20, 30 years' time,
391
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:35,486
forced to live on as little
as £4 million a year.
392
00:11:37,535 --> 00:11:37,535
forced to live on as little
as £4 million a year.
393
00:11:40,286 --> 00:11:40,286
Well, that's not too bad.
394
00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:41,966
Think of your little girl,
Charlotte,
395
00:11:44,006 --> 00:11:44,006
Think of your little girl,
Charlotte,
396
00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:44,255
no longer having exclusive
use of two royal chauffeurs
397
00:11:46,335 --> 00:11:46,335
no longer having exclusive
use of two royal chauffeurs
398
00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:47,366
but having to share chauffeurs
in some kind of regal car pool.
399
00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:49,406
but having to share chauffeurs
in some kind of regal car pool.
400
00:11:51,455 --> 00:11:51,455
but having to share chauffeurs
in some kind of regal car pool.
401
00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:51,935
HE RETCHES
402
00:11:55,046 --> 00:11:55,046
All right...
403
00:11:56,735 --> 00:11:56,735
I'll join your strike,
404
00:11:58,766 --> 00:11:58,766
I'll join your strike,
405
00:11:59,006 --> 00:11:59,006
and may Lady Britannia
have mercy on my soul.
406
00:12:04,046 --> 00:12:04,046
Well done.
407
00:12:06,086 --> 00:12:06,086
Maybe you're not such
a fuckwit after all.
408
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:08,126
Maybe you're not such
a fuckwit after all.
409
00:12:08,486 --> 00:12:08,486
Oh, well thank you my dear.
410
00:12:10,175 --> 00:12:10,175
Does that mean we could, er...?
411
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:13,166
I don't think we need
to tackle those stairs.
412
00:12:15,206 --> 00:12:15,206
I don't think we need
to tackle those stairs.
413
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:15,935
Yes... Urr...
414
00:12:21,926 --> 00:12:21,926
Harry, Meghan, please pick up.
415
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:23,775
The Fab Four has to join the strike
for the sake of the children.
416
00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:25,766
The Fab Four has to join the strike
for the sake of the children.
417
00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:26,126
Call me when you get this.
418
00:12:27,686 --> 00:12:27,686
Still not answering?
I wonder where they can be.
419
00:12:29,726 --> 00:12:29,726
Still not answering?
I wonder where they can be.
420
00:12:30,206 --> 00:12:30,206
Hey, Siri, open Instagram, please.
421
00:12:32,246 --> 00:12:32,246
Hey, Siri, open Instagram, please.
422
00:12:32,966 --> 00:12:32,966
I'm on Meghan's feed.
423
00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:35,726
They're doing a live stream.
424
00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:37,766
They're doing a live stream.
425
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:38,175
It is with a heavy heart
that I announce
426
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:40,166
It is with a heavy heart
that I announce
427
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:40,526
the separation of the House of
Sussex from the House of Cambridge,
428
00:12:42,566 --> 00:12:42,566
the separation of the House of
Sussex from the House of Cambridge,
429
00:12:44,486 --> 00:12:44,486
and our move to North America.
430
00:12:48,575 --> 00:12:48,575
We are consciously uncoupling.
431
00:12:52,286 --> 00:12:52,286
We feel that if we were to
stay in the UK,
432
00:12:54,335 --> 00:12:54,335
We feel that if we were to
stay in the UK,
433
00:12:55,286 --> 00:12:55,286
it would simply be another
way of silencing us,
434
00:12:57,326 --> 00:12:57,326
it would simply be another
way of silencing us,
435
00:12:58,406 --> 00:12:58,406
and if your lips are sealed,
your message cannot be heard.
436
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:00,446
and if your lips are sealed,
your message cannot be heard.
437
00:13:02,246 --> 00:13:02,246
REPORTER: Harry, how are you finding
life without alcohol?
438
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:04,286
REPORTER: Harry, how are you finding
life without alcohol?
439
00:13:04,886 --> 00:13:04,886
Er, love it.
440
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:06,206
Hasn't been an ordeal at all,
441
00:13:07,935 --> 00:13:07,935
and I'm certainly not seeing bats
and mice in my peripheral vision!
442
00:13:09,926 --> 00:13:09,926
and I'm certainly not seeing bats
and mice in my peripheral vision!
443
00:13:11,246 --> 00:13:11,246
REPORTER: Meghan, have you got
a message for Wills and Kate?
444
00:13:13,286 --> 00:13:13,286
REPORTER: Meghan, have you got
a message for Wills and Kate?
445
00:13:13,695 --> 00:13:13,695
Yes.
446
00:13:14,975 --> 00:13:14,975
The Fab Four are over.
447
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:17,006
The Fab Four are over.
448
00:13:17,246 --> 00:13:17,246
Ah! What was that?
449
00:13:19,295 --> 00:13:19,295
Ah! What was that?
450
00:13:20,126 --> 00:13:20,126
Oh, my God.
451
00:13:21,695 --> 00:13:21,695
This is a feud.
452
00:13:32,664 --> 00:13:32,664
That was the government again,
they're begging us
453
00:13:34,704 --> 00:13:34,704
That was the government again,
they're begging us
454
00:13:34,953 --> 00:13:34,953
to open the Chelsea Flower Show.
455
00:13:36,264 --> 00:13:36,264
Without a senior royal it can't go
456
00:13:37,944 --> 00:13:37,944
ahead and that could lead to civil
disorder.
457
00:13:39,984 --> 00:13:39,984
ahead and that could lead to civil
disorder.
458
00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:40,344
There could be tanks on the streets
of Kensington and Chelsea.
459
00:13:42,264 --> 00:13:42,264
Well, maybe we should.
460
00:13:43,593 --> 00:13:43,593
Not just to heal Britain,
461
00:13:45,384 --> 00:13:45,384
but for the corporate sponsors who
have paid a million pounds to turn
462
00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:47,424
but for the corporate sponsors who
have paid a million pounds to turn
463
00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:48,144
a small plot in Chelsea in to an old
shed with some flowers on the roof.
464
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:50,184
a small plot in Chelsea in to an old
shed with some flowers on the roof.
465
00:13:50,904 --> 00:13:50,904
But I'd be going against my father.
466
00:13:52,944 --> 00:13:52,944
Oh, agony Kate.Oh, Wills.
467
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:54,984
Oh, agony Kate.Oh, Wills.
468
00:13:55,824 --> 00:13:55,824
And there's another thing,
Wimbledon's just weeks away,
469
00:13:57,864 --> 00:13:57,864
And there's another thing,
Wimbledon's just weeks away,
470
00:13:59,184 --> 00:13:59,184
what if the strike goes on?Dad's
sure the government will crack.
471
00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:01,224
what if the strike goes on?Dad's
sure the government will crack.
472
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:01,824
What if they don't?
473
00:14:03,144 --> 00:14:03,144
I've got so used to watching it from
the royal box.It'll be all right.
474
00:14:05,184 --> 00:14:05,184
I've got so used to watching it from
the royal box.It'll be all right.
475
00:14:05,784 --> 00:14:05,784
I can't watch it on the telly.
I just can't!
476
00:14:07,753 --> 00:14:07,753
Get a grip of yourself, Kate!
477
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:12,393
Oh. I'm sorry.
478
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:14,904
You must do whatever you
feel is right.
479
00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:16,944
You must do whatever you
feel is right.
480
00:14:22,944 --> 00:14:22,944
I'm already feuding with my brother,
if I do what the government are
asking,
481
00:14:24,984 --> 00:14:24,984
I'm already feuding with my brother,
if I do what the government are
asking,
482
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:25,833
I could cause a rift with my
father that might never be healed.
483
00:14:27,913 --> 00:14:27,913
I could cause a rift with my
father that might never be healed.
484
00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:28,344
William Windsor, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
485
00:14:30,384 --> 00:14:30,384
William Windsor, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
486
00:14:31,113 --> 00:14:31,113
Wer-her, who goes there?
487
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:32,784
It is I, Victoria, Empress of India.
488
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:34,824
It is I, Victoria, Empress of India.
489
00:14:36,864 --> 00:14:36,864
It is I, Victoria, Empress of India.
490
00:14:37,104 --> 00:14:37,104
And Judy Dench's pension pot.
491
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:39,144
And Judy Dench's pension pot.
492
00:14:39,384 --> 00:14:39,384
What should I do great, great,
great, great... Four, one.
493
00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:41,424
What should I do great, great,
great, great... Four, one.
494
00:14:43,104 --> 00:14:43,104
..great, great, great, great
grandmother?
495
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:44,784
It is the responsibility of the
royal family to unify the nation.
496
00:14:46,824 --> 00:14:46,824
It is the responsibility of the
royal family to unify the nation.
497
00:14:48,873 --> 00:14:48,873
It is the responsibility of the
royal family to unify the nation.
498
00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:49,464
And that is what you must do.
499
00:14:51,504 --> 00:14:51,504
And that is what you must do.
500
00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:52,233
You must recommence your royal
duties.
501
00:14:54,153 --> 00:14:54,153
But you didn't do a royal
duty for 40 years.
502
00:14:56,233 --> 00:14:56,233
But you didn't do a royal
duty for 40 years.
503
00:14:57,513 --> 00:14:57,513
I was in mourning.
504
00:14:59,433 --> 00:14:59,433
What, for 40 years?
505
00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:01,464
What, for 40 years?
506
00:15:01,704 --> 00:15:01,704
Well, we didn't have any problems.
507
00:15:03,753 --> 00:15:03,753
Well, we didn't have any problems.
508
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:04,344
We had an empire. We had half the
world.
509
00:15:06,384 --> 00:15:06,384
We had an empire. We had half the
world.
510
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:08,233
Doesn't look as if you're even going
to hang on to Scotland?
511
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:10,224
Doesn't look as if you're even going
to hang on to Scotland?
512
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:11,433
You're right. I need to unify
Britain.
513
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:13,513
You're right. I need to unify
Britain.
514
00:15:14,064 --> 00:15:14,064
By opening the Chelsea Flower Show.
515
00:15:16,104 --> 00:15:16,104
By opening the Chelsea Flower Show.
516
00:15:17,193 --> 00:15:17,193
What a fine young man.
517
00:15:19,224 --> 00:15:19,224
What a fine young man.
518
00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:19,464
Made of the same steel as my
Albert's cock ring.
519
00:15:21,513 --> 00:15:21,513
Made of the same steel as my
Albert's cock ring.
520
00:15:23,593 --> 00:15:23,593
Made of the same steel as my
Albert's cock ring.
521
00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:30,313
Thanks for coming,
522
00:15:31,593 --> 00:15:31,593
it's really helping with
the profile of the brand.
523
00:15:33,673 --> 00:15:33,673
it's really helping with
the profile of the brand.
524
00:15:34,464 --> 00:15:34,464
Shame you can't have any but
seriously, hats off for giving up.
525
00:15:36,504 --> 00:15:36,504
Shame you can't have any but
seriously, hats off for giving up.
526
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:37,833
Oh, yeah, it's the best thing I've
ever done.
527
00:15:39,913 --> 00:15:39,913
Oh, yeah, it's the best thing I've
ever done.
528
00:15:40,584 --> 00:15:40,584
And I just feel so alive.
529
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:42,384
D'you mind if I smell it? Oh, yah.
530
00:15:44,424 --> 00:15:44,424
D'you mind if I smell it? Oh, yah.
531
00:15:45,993 --> 00:15:45,993
HE SNIFFS
532
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:47,433
Oh, fuck.
533
00:15:50,184 --> 00:15:50,184
It's very nice.
534
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:52,233
So, what's going on with Wills
and Kate? Are you really leaving?
535
00:15:54,264 --> 00:15:54,264
So, what's going on with Wills
and Kate? Are you really leaving?
536
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:55,704
If you must know, she wrote
537
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:57,624
something very hurtful on the side
of a banana.
538
00:15:59,664 --> 00:15:59,664
something very hurtful on the side
of a banana.
539
00:16:00,873 --> 00:16:00,873
You should call her.
540
00:16:02,313 --> 00:16:02,313
We never go to bed on an argument.
541
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:04,344
Yeah, cos often they're just
misunderstandings.
542
00:16:06,384 --> 00:16:06,384
Yeah, cos often they're just
misunderstandings.
543
00:16:06,864 --> 00:16:06,864
Like the time that I thought that
Eugenie was pinching my very
544
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:08,904
Like the time that I thought that
Eugenie was pinching my very
545
00:16:10,104 --> 00:16:10,104
expensive Chanel face powder,
546
00:16:12,144 --> 00:16:12,144
expensive Chanel face powder,
547
00:16:12,553 --> 00:16:12,553
but she explained that a fox must've
548
00:16:14,064 --> 00:16:14,064
climbed through the window and eaten
it.
549
00:16:17,673 --> 00:16:17,673
Are you sure you won't
change your mind?No.
550
00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:19,704
Are you sure you won't
change your mind?No.
551
00:16:20,553 --> 00:16:20,553
If you saw that banana,
you'd understand.
552
00:16:22,584 --> 00:16:22,584
If you saw that banana,
you'd understand.
553
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:25,584
So, just to be clear, everyone's
drinking as much as they like
554
00:16:27,624 --> 00:16:27,624
So, just to be clear, everyone's
drinking as much as they like
555
00:16:28,824 --> 00:16:28,824
and they don't have to pay for it?
556
00:16:30,313 --> 00:16:30,313
Well, yeah, it's a launch party.
557
00:16:32,304 --> 00:16:32,304
Well, yeah, it's a launch party.
558
00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:33,264
Why are you crying, Harry?
559
00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:35,184
Something in my eye.
560
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:39,264
This is all going so well.
561
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:41,304
This is all going so well.
562
00:16:41,673 --> 00:16:41,673
And look at Jack,
he's a changed man.
563
00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:43,704
And look at Jack,
he's a changed man.
564
00:16:45,144 --> 00:16:45,144
Shot!
565
00:16:47,064 --> 00:16:47,064
Two bells, shot!
566
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:49,033
Shot.
567
00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:50,904
I think we've got a hit
on our hands.This is it Bea.
568
00:16:52,944 --> 00:16:52,944
I think we've got a hit
on our hands.This is it Bea.
569
00:16:54,744 --> 00:16:54,744
We've finally cracked it.
570
00:17:01,464 --> 00:17:01,464
# Commoners...
571
00:17:03,144 --> 00:17:03,144
# And taxpayers jeer
572
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:04,713
# We want a lot more
dosh this year. #
573
00:17:06,744 --> 00:17:06,744
# We want a lot more
dosh this year. #
574
00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:08,304
With Wills and Kate onboard,
575
00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:10,344
I can't see the government
holding out much longer.
576
00:17:12,393 --> 00:17:12,393
I can't see the government
holding out much longer.
577
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:12,864
Well, where are they?
They'll be here.
578
00:17:14,904 --> 00:17:14,904
Well, where are they?
They'll be here.
579
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:15,144
I need this to be over. I want to
get back to doing what I do best.
580
00:17:17,193 --> 00:17:17,193
I need this to be over. I want to
get back to doing what I do best.
581
00:17:18,384 --> 00:17:18,384
Making minor dignitaries I've never
met before feel uncomfortable.
582
00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:20,424
Making minor dignitaries I've never
met before feel uncomfortable.
583
00:17:21,744 --> 00:17:21,744
My Bulgarian friends have
been quite insistent.
584
00:17:23,784 --> 00:17:23,784
My Bulgarian friends have
been quite insistent.
585
00:17:24,264 --> 00:17:24,264
Well, victory's in sight, we've got
to stick together.
586
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:26,313
Well, victory's in sight, we've got
to stick together.
587
00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:27,864
Now come on, sing.
588
00:17:29,904 --> 00:17:29,904
Now come on, sing.
589
00:17:30,153 --> 00:17:30,153
# We are brothers and sisters
590
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:32,184
# We are brothers and sisters
591
00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:32,904
# We want what we are due. #
592
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:34,953
# We want what we are due. #
593
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:35,304
This doesn't feel right,
going against dad.
594
00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:37,344
This doesn't feel right,
going against dad.
595
00:17:37,584 --> 00:17:37,584
But look how happy they are.
596
00:17:39,273 --> 00:17:39,273
# We won't take time in lieu. #
597
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:41,304
# We won't take time in lieu. #
598
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:41,544
Oh, my God. There's Dad.
599
00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:43,593
Oh, my God. There's Dad.
600
00:17:45,624 --> 00:17:45,624
Wills? Is that Wills? Wills,
you traitor.Daddy, I am sorry.
601
00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:47,664
Wills? Is that Wills? Wills,
you traitor.Daddy, I am sorry.
602
00:17:49,704 --> 00:17:49,704
Wills? Is that Wills? Wills,
you traitor.Daddy, I am sorry.
603
00:17:49,993 --> 00:17:49,993
Your names are scab. Scab.
604
00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:51,984
Your names are scab. Scab.
605
00:17:52,464 --> 00:17:52,464
Scab. Scab!
606
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:54,144
Auntie Anne just gobbed at us.
607
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:57,144
Eurgh.Scab. Scab.
608
00:17:59,184 --> 00:17:59,184
Eurgh.Scab. Scab.
609
00:18:01,224 --> 00:18:01,224
Eurgh.Scab. Scab.
610
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:01,464
Bloody Wills.
611
00:18:02,544 --> 00:18:02,544
Without Wills and Kate it's over.
We have to cave.
612
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:04,584
Without Wills and Kate it's over.
We have to cave.
613
00:18:05,424 --> 00:18:05,424
I want to get back to work.
614
00:18:07,113 --> 00:18:07,113
What about the money?
It's not about the money.
615
00:18:09,193 --> 00:18:09,193
What about the money?
It's not about the money.
616
00:18:09,624 --> 00:18:09,624
It's about the buzz. Oh.
617
00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:11,664
Father against son. It's like the
miners' strike in Billy Elliott.
618
00:18:13,704 --> 00:18:13,704
Father against son. It's like the
miners' strike in Billy Elliott.
619
00:18:15,144 --> 00:18:15,144
Mer.You know Billy Elliott?
620
00:18:17,184 --> 00:18:17,184
Mer.You know Billy Elliott?
621
00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:17,833
The boy who dreamed of leaving
everything behind and becoming
622
00:18:19,824 --> 00:18:19,824
The boy who dreamed of leaving
everything behind and becoming
623
00:18:20,304 --> 00:18:20,304
a ballet dancer and his dreams came
true, I don't know why I'm crying.
624
00:18:22,344 --> 00:18:22,344
a ballet dancer and his dreams came
true, I don't know why I'm crying.
625
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:29,673
Camilla. What are you doing out
here?
626
00:18:31,753 --> 00:18:31,753
Camilla. What are you doing out
here?
627
00:18:32,073 --> 00:18:32,073
The government have changed
the locks.
628
00:18:34,104 --> 00:18:34,104
The government have changed
the locks.
629
00:18:34,584 --> 00:18:34,584
They can't do that, it's my house.
Comes with the job.
630
00:18:36,624 --> 00:18:36,624
They can't do that, it's my house.
Comes with the job.
631
00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:37,704
How else would a twat like you have
a five storey mansion on the Mall?
632
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:39,753
How else would a twat like you have
a five storey mansion on the Mall?
633
00:18:40,713 --> 00:18:40,713
Oh, no. I no longer have a London
pied de terre.
634
00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:42,793
Oh, no. I no longer have a London
pied de terre.
635
00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:44,784
Oh, no. I no longer have a London
pied de terre.
636
00:18:45,193 --> 00:18:45,193
Only a vast estate
in Gloucestershire.
637
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:47,184
Only a vast estate
in Gloucestershire.
638
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:47,544
And half of Cornwall.Oh, yeah.
639
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:49,584
And half of Cornwall.Oh, yeah.
640
00:18:50,304 --> 00:18:50,304
This madness has got to end,
Charles.
641
00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:52,344
This madness has got to end,
Charles.
642
00:18:52,944 --> 00:18:52,944
My vodka's in there.
643
00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:55,944
Betrayed by my son.
644
00:18:57,193 --> 00:18:57,193
Let down by my siblings,
how can I hope to be king
645
00:18:59,184 --> 00:18:59,184
Let down by my siblings,
how can I hope to be king
646
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:00,264
when I can't even rule my own
family?
647
00:19:02,313 --> 00:19:02,313
when I can't even rule my own
family?
648
00:19:03,144 --> 00:19:03,144
Charles. Vodka.
649
00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:05,193
Charles. Vodka.
650
00:19:05,424 --> 00:19:05,424
It's over.
651
00:19:10,473 --> 00:19:10,473
I'll call the government,
accept their offer.
652
00:19:12,504 --> 00:19:12,504
I'll call the government,
accept their offer.
653
00:19:15,024 --> 00:19:15,024
They've rung us, the government have
rung us.We've won.
654
00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:17,064
They've rung us, the government have
rung us.We've won.
655
00:19:18,264 --> 00:19:18,264
We've won. Ha-ha!What?
656
00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:20,304
We've won. Ha-ha!What?
657
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:20,784
They've completely caved.
25% across the board.
658
00:19:22,824 --> 00:19:22,824
They've completely caved.
25% across the board.
659
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:24,264
It's a life changer.
660
00:19:25,584 --> 00:19:25,584
I'm gonna buy something called
a storage heater.
661
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:27,624
I'm gonna buy something called
a storage heater.
662
00:19:28,713 --> 00:19:28,713
So they do respect me.
663
00:19:30,384 --> 00:19:30,384
I am a strong charismatic leader
664
00:19:32,424 --> 00:19:32,424
I am a strong charismatic leader
665
00:19:32,664 --> 00:19:32,664
with the power to change
men's minds.
666
00:19:34,704 --> 00:19:34,704
with the power to change
men's minds.
667
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:35,184
The government saw that and realised
they had to keep me sweet.
668
00:19:37,224 --> 00:19:37,224
The government saw that and realised
they had to keep me sweet.
669
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:38,793
No, the minister said if he had
to fill in on another royal duty,
670
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:40,873
No, the minister said if he had
to fill in on another royal duty,
671
00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:42,864
No, the minister said if he had
to fill in on another royal duty,
672
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:43,224
he'd throw himself off the roof.
673
00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:44,424
Which is another way of saying,
this is a job only I can do.
674
00:19:46,464 --> 00:19:46,464
Which is another way of saying,
this is a job only I can do.
675
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:48,504
Which is another way of saying,
this is a job only I can do.
676
00:19:50,544 --> 00:19:50,544
Which is another way of saying,
this is a job only I can do.
677
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:50,793
Jeesh-he-he.
678
00:19:53,784 --> 00:19:53,784
Yeah, we feel rough, too.
679
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:55,824
Yeah, we feel rough, too.
680
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:56,064
What? Last night? Oh, lore.
681
00:19:58,104 --> 00:19:58,104
What? Last night? Oh, lore.
682
00:20:00,144 --> 00:20:00,144
What? Last night? Oh, lore.
683
00:20:00,384 --> 00:20:00,384
Well, send him our best.
684
00:20:02,424 --> 00:20:02,424
Well, send him our best.
685
00:20:02,664 --> 00:20:02,664
What is it?
Freddie Windsor's gone blind.
686
00:20:04,713 --> 00:20:04,713
What is it?
Freddie Windsor's gone blind.
687
00:20:05,424 --> 00:20:05,424
They say he might've ingested
something.
688
00:20:07,464 --> 00:20:07,464
Last night he was just having
so much fun drinking gin, voddy rum.
689
00:20:09,513 --> 00:20:09,513
Last night he was just having
so much fun drinking gin, voddy rum.
690
00:20:09,993 --> 00:20:09,993
Oh, Eugenie, you didn't put
691
00:20:11,913 --> 00:20:11,913
anything in it that wasn't gin vodka
or rum, did you?No.
692
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:13,944
anything in it that wasn't gin vodka
or rum, did you?No.
693
00:20:15,624 --> 00:20:15,624
Well, just white spirit.What?
694
00:20:17,673 --> 00:20:17,673
Well, just white spirit.What?
695
00:20:18,144 --> 00:20:18,144
Well, I thought it was supposed to
have all the white spirit.
696
00:20:20,184 --> 00:20:20,184
Well, I thought it was supposed to
have all the white spirit.
697
00:20:21,024 --> 00:20:21,024
Not actual white spirit.
698
00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:23,064
Not actual white spirit.
699
00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:23,664
Mummy only drinks that
when there's nothing else.
700
00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:25,704
Mummy only drinks that
when there's nothing else.
701
00:20:26,064 --> 00:20:26,064
Oh.Well, that's it.
702
00:20:28,104 --> 00:20:28,104
Oh.Well, that's it.
703
00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:29,193
We're gonna have to shut
the company down.Jack.
704
00:20:31,224 --> 00:20:31,224
We're gonna have to shut
the company down.Jack.
705
00:20:32,184 --> 00:20:32,184
Ola!What are you wearing?
George has given me my old job back.
706
00:20:34,224 --> 00:20:34,224
Ola!What are you wearing?
George has given me my old job back.
707
00:20:35,184 --> 00:20:35,184
And he's promised to dial
back on the psycho bullying.
708
00:20:37,224 --> 00:20:37,224
And he's promised to dial
back on the psycho bullying.
709
00:20:37,993 --> 00:20:37,993
You don't mind, do you?No.
That's great.
710
00:20:39,984 --> 00:20:39,984
You don't mind, do you?No.
That's great.
711
00:20:41,184 --> 00:20:41,184
So everything's back the way it was?
Except Freddie Windsor's gone blind.
712
00:20:43,224 --> 00:20:43,224
So everything's back the way it was?
Except Freddie Windsor's gone blind.
713
00:20:44,304 --> 00:20:44,304
He'll probably be all right.
Tequila?Shot!
714
00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:46,344
He'll probably be all right.
Tequila?Shot!
715
00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:52,104
I'm so glad everything's
back to normal.
716
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:54,153
I'm so glad everything's
back to normal.
717
00:20:55,344 --> 00:20:55,344
We declare this Chelsea Flower Show
open.
718
00:20:57,384 --> 00:20:57,384
We declare this Chelsea Flower Show
open.
719
00:20:59,184 --> 00:20:59,184
TV: CHEERING
720
00:21:00,144 --> 00:21:00,144
Just seeing them makes me
721
00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:02,184
forget that my car factory's
been shut down.Well done us.
722
00:21:04,233 --> 00:21:04,233
forget that my car factory's
been shut down.Well done us.
723
00:21:06,624 --> 00:21:06,624
Meghan. What are you doing here?
724
00:21:08,664 --> 00:21:08,664
Meghan. What are you doing here?
725
00:21:09,384 --> 00:21:09,384
Meghan and I sincerely believe
everyone deserves... What was it?
726
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:11,433
Meghan and I sincerely believe
everyone deserves... What was it?
727
00:21:13,464 --> 00:21:13,464
Meghan and I sincerely believe
everyone deserves... What was it?
728
00:21:14,313 --> 00:21:14,313
You deserve a chance to
explain yourselves.
729
00:21:16,393 --> 00:21:16,393
You deserve a chance to
explain yourselves.
730
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:17,193
Explain ourselves?
We haven't done anything wrong.
731
00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:19,224
Explain ourselves?
We haven't done anything wrong.
732
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:19,944
I saw you and Wills mocking me.
733
00:21:21,993 --> 00:21:21,993
I saw you and Wills mocking me.
734
00:21:22,344 --> 00:21:22,344
And I saw what you wrote on that
banana.
735
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:24,384
And I saw what you wrote on that
banana.
736
00:21:25,224 --> 00:21:25,224
But that's impossible.
We still have the banana.
737
00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:27,264
But that's impossible.
We still have the banana.
738
00:21:27,504 --> 00:21:27,504
Then show it to me.No, we can't.
I thought so.
739
00:21:29,544 --> 00:21:29,544
Then show it to me.No, we can't.
I thought so.
740
00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:31,464
You can't show me the banana
because you don't have it.
741
00:21:33,504 --> 00:21:33,504
You can't show me the banana
because you don't have it.
742
00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:34,464
I'm leaving. You'll never see me
again.
743
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:36,504
I'm leaving. You'll never see me
again.
744
00:21:37,224 --> 00:21:37,224
But we do still have the banana.
745
00:21:39,273 --> 00:21:39,273
But we do still have the banana.
746
00:21:40,224 --> 00:21:40,224
Show it to her, Kate.
Just show her the banana.
747
00:21:42,264 --> 00:21:42,264
Show it to her, Kate.
Just show her the banana.
748
00:21:45,384 --> 00:21:45,384
This might explain why
we were giggling.
749
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:47,433
This might explain why
we were giggling.
750
00:21:48,264 --> 00:21:48,264
I'm not wearing any pants.
751
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:50,313
I'm not wearing any pants.
752
00:21:50,784 --> 00:21:50,784
Whoa.So you weren't belittling me
753
00:21:52,824 --> 00:21:52,824
Whoa.So you weren't belittling me
754
00:21:53,904 --> 00:21:53,904
or demeaning my efforts to speak
out on the big issues?No.
755
00:21:55,944 --> 00:21:55,944
or demeaning my efforts to speak
out on the big issues?No.
756
00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:57,384
I was just a bit bored.
757
00:21:58,824 --> 00:21:58,824
We just find it ever so slightly
tedious when you speak.
758
00:22:00,864 --> 00:22:00,864
We just find it ever so slightly
tedious when you speak.
759
00:22:01,224 --> 00:22:01,224
Like a TED talk, only longer.
760
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:02,904
Great feedback.
761
00:22:04,393 --> 00:22:04,393
Which I'll try to act upon.
762
00:22:06,264 --> 00:22:06,264
Does that mean that we're all mates
again and we can stay?
763
00:22:08,304 --> 00:22:08,304
Does that mean that we're all mates
again and we can stay?
764
00:22:09,864 --> 00:22:09,864
Well, I think this calls for a
celebration.
765
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:11,913
Well, I think this calls for a
celebration.
766
00:22:13,704 --> 00:22:13,704
Harry. Your detox.
767
00:22:15,744 --> 00:22:15,744
Oh, well it's open now.
768
00:22:17,424 --> 00:22:17,424
One little drink won't hurt.
Exactly.
769
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:19,464
One little drink won't hurt.
Exactly.
770
00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:23,433
Oh, bottoms up.
771
00:22:25,584 --> 00:22:25,584
BURPING
Oh, good stuff, let's never fall out
again.
772
00:22:27,624 --> 00:22:27,624
BURPING
Oh, good stuff, let's never fall out
again.
773
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:27,913
I'm so glad we're staying in the UK.
774
00:22:29,904 --> 00:22:29,904
I'm so glad we're staying in the UK.
775
00:22:30,264 --> 00:22:30,264
No matter, there's one thing
my Swiss finishing school taught me.
776
00:22:32,304 --> 00:22:32,304
No matter, there's one thing
my Swiss finishing school taught me.
777
00:22:34,344 --> 00:22:34,344
No matter, there's one thing
my Swiss finishing school taught me.
778
00:22:35,913 --> 00:22:35,913
DEVICE BEEPS
Always have a plan B.
779
00:22:37,944 --> 00:22:37,944
DEVICE BEEPS
Always have a plan B.
780
00:22:41,064 --> 00:22:41,064
Kung Fu.
781
00:22:42,624 --> 00:22:42,624
They're going to take us down to the
basement and cut off our heads.
782
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:44,664
They're going to take us down to the
basement and cut off our heads.
783
00:22:45,744 --> 00:22:45,744
Oh.Harry.Meghan.
SHE SHRIEKS
784
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:47,784
Oh.Harry.Meghan.
SHE SHRIEKS
785
00:22:48,624 --> 00:22:48,624
You monster.But what about your
mother?
786
00:22:50,664 --> 00:22:50,664
Mmm.Ow!
787
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:52,704
Mmm.Ow!
788
00:22:53,904 --> 00:22:53,904
Hoi, hoi, saveloy.I've had enough,
I want us to relocate, to America.
789
00:22:55,944 --> 00:22:55,944
Hoi, hoi, saveloy.I've had enough,
I want us to relocate, to America.
790
00:22:57,984 --> 00:22:57,984
Hoi, hoi, saveloy.I've had enough,
I want us to relocate, to America.
791
00:22:58,704 --> 00:22:58,704
Right now.
792
00:23:00,264 --> 00:23:00,264
Becoming my wife.
793
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:01,833
We could go to that Pizza Express
where daddy took us.
794
00:23:03,864 --> 00:23:03,864
We could go to that Pizza Express
where daddy took us.
795
00:23:04,233 --> 00:23:04,233
If there's one thing
I know better than anything.
796
00:23:06,264 --> 00:23:06,264
If there's one thing
I know better than anything.
797
00:23:06,864 --> 00:23:06,864
What happens now?
798
00:23:08,184 --> 00:23:08,184
It's evil.
799
00:23:09,864 --> 00:23:09,864
So what you're saying is
I can either have a big wedding
800
00:23:11,913 --> 00:23:11,913
So what you're saying is
I can either have a big wedding
801
00:23:12,744 --> 00:23:12,744
without Daddy or a small
wedding with him.
802
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:14,784
without Daddy or a small
wedding with him.
803
00:23:17,304 --> 00:23:17,304
I think I've gone to the
toilet in my trousers.
804
00:23:19,344 --> 00:23:19,344
I think I've gone to the
toilet in my trousers.
805
00:23:22,953 --> 00:23:22,953
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
806
00:23:25,033 --> 00:23:25,033
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
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