Original subtitles

Deep blue sea, perfect beaches,

plenty of sunshine; that is the island of Brac.

Here you can swim even in November.

And in December you can find a blooming flower!

Legends say that on the The Golden Cape satyrs dance

and make love to goddesses un- til the moon sets into the sea

and then give a pearl to the couples watching them.

However, those who are in love... with photography,

will have plenty to shoot here in Bol.

Take it all off...

Kristinka... come here!

Come on, Mr Honza,

try some home-made brandy.

(In Checz) See what I got for my Kristinka?

(I'm back, Kristinka!)

Honza!

(I've got you something!)

Damn it!

(Honey...)

Say Cheese!

My eye!

Bepo, you rascal!

You did the nasty, huh?!

Who, me? No way!

Here he comes. Bepo!

Oh, no...

Someone will trip over your bicycle! -Where can I put it?. !

Have you gone bananas?

Since when do you walk with only one sandal?!

You have gone bananas!

Shut up! -I don't want to shut up!

Can't you see he just survived a hard battle...!

Stipe, I'll buy you a beer if you just keep quiet!

You're my man, Ante. -Don't touch my beer!

See what you've done now?!

Can't you see... -What?

...the kid did the job?

Come off it, Stipe!

Come on, kid!

Am I right or am I right?.

And we feel sorry for him?!

Sit down and tell us.

Is she a local girl or a tourist?.

Have to go back; Jure will kill me! -Forget him.

If you don't tell us, it's as if you never did it!

It's so boring!

Isn't that chick sweet?

I prefer a good meal. -Come on!

Look at that one!

It's been 15 years since I fled.

Holy Maiden!

Well, well... Watch this.

Fuck you!

Let's get into the choo-choo-train!

This isn't the end of this!

One sweet cookie would do you good.

It's easy for you to say; you're single.

That dragon of my wife would stab me

if she heard I was screwing around.

If I have to risk, it should be worth it.

That makes sense.

Step on it, Kuzma!

What have you done... -Oh, my God!

I'm sorry, Toma. -Sorry?. !

Scandal! -What, Mr Vondracek? Where?

Here! In front of your nose! -My nose?

And what scandal! See, I am a good man.

But when someone step on me, I turn into beast!

Excuse me, who did what to awaken this beast in you?

That gigolo that go by tourist guide!

Mr Vondracek, he's a good boy really.

You must be wrong.

I not wrong! I have proof!

Tell him, next time

he lose not only sandal,

but whole leg! I swear!

Look... To compensate

for this inconvenience,

I offer you seven days for free in your suite. -No...

You won't have to spend another cent! -No...

You'll have a speed-boat...

Speed-boat?.

You a good man. But tell that bastard

to stay away from my wife! Speed-boat...?

A speed-boat.

Fuckit...

What have I done to deserve you as my employee?!

You SOB!

God bless your mom; she was a good woman.

I'll hang you by your balls! -What have I done?!

Don't play stupid with me!

Don't fuck me; I'm not that Czech bimbo!

Was I supposed to say no?! She threw herself on me!

You, as an old wolf... what would you do?

True, it's hard to resist...

But how could you let him catch you, you prick?!

It was a moment of passion. One thing led to another...

Besides, he didn't catch me but my sandal!

Oh, yeah?

Get lost now; there's a boat coming in 10 minutes!

Move it!

One more thing; take another look at that Czech chick -

don't mind the husband; I'll personally castrate you!

Jure, you know me; I've already forgot her!

Forgot her, huh? -Yeah.

You fucking liar...

Hurry up, the boat's coming!

(Good afternoon. Dinner is in five minutes.)

(Looking for Bepo? Sure I know him.)

(He's my good...)

Fuck, how do they say a friend?

(Now listen carefully.)

(Bepo has a restaurant very... near here.)

(You go out,)

(200 m to the left... then left again)

(and you'll see the restaurant. Got it?)

(You're welcome, miss.)

At Bepo's

Everything alright?.

Get us a bottle of wine. -Coming.

Wine's coming. Do you need anything else? -Some water.

Water? More wine?

Yes, please. -Coming.

Bepo Stambuk! -Here!

Get yourself a beer.

No need for that...

Fuck...

Who taught you how to drive, you idiot?. !

You tourists are airheads!

Now you need help, huh? You had it coming!

You jack-ass!

Who taught you how to drive!?

No, I don't.

What? Wait... Hold on.

You're old Mate's son who fled to America after...

Waiter!

Waiter! -Coming!

Come here. -Where's the fire?

Where's Bepo's wife? -In the kitchen, where else.

Come with me.

Careful...

What the hell are you doing?!

No need to shout!

Look what you've done! -Don't break my balls!

I'd do it better! -So do it!

My poor Bepo! I told him

To hell with that old car!

But he wouldn't listen!

Now he can drive it in hell!

Oh, my God...

Poor Bepo...

Poor Antonia...

Yo everybody!

Your DJ Bepo welcomes you

and guarantees a great night on the tiles

with great music and crazy rhythm!

Shake your bootey, babe!

What the fuck's wrong with you, man?!

Now you shake your bootey.

Get the fuck off of me!

No shit. -You stoned or what?.

Let go off me! This hurts!

You're nuts!

(Thank you. Good night.)

(Drive carefully.)

(Come again.)

"Sweet talk" is my middle name...!

Mr Honza, could you pay so I can go to bed?

Yes, pay!

You had 5 brandies.

He pay when I get him!

And some cheese, fish...

This damn town! -True.

Imagine the winter here;

cold winds drive you mad!

No, town is great, sea is great,

but some people are bastards!

Some? Me first; I'll rip you off blind.

If I find that one, I kill him!

Not just one; kill half the town -

me first, for charging you three times more! Here.

Fork!

I have it...

But money can't buy me

faithfulness of my Kristinka!

I'd crytoo. They die like flies these days;

a man can't eat in peace!

Waiter! -Coming, Mate!

Go, I know you busy. -Very busy.

Have a good night sleep.

Can't remember his name...

The usual, Mate?

Mustn't drink today. Get me...

just a bottle of wine. -Sure.

I remember! His name Bepo Stambuk!

Bepo Stambuk, you dead! Dead!

Say that again. -I no afraid police!

I, Honza Vondracek, kill Bepo Stambuk! He dead!

Buddy, thank you for finding me,

so I don't have to look for you!

Let him go; he's drunk! -Stay out of this!

As if drunks don't kill?! Let's go!

Yes, Bepo! Harder, Bepo!

(Oh, it's you, miss...)

(Sure. Three Bepos.)

(The first one, the restaurant guy)...

He's dead. (No, two Bepos.)

Holy cow! He's dead?!

(Only one Bepo in Bol. Two are dead.)

I'm not talking to you!

She dumped me in front of everybody,

and now she comes here?!

Who could understand women...

Come off it!

Praise the Lord. -Forever more.

'Morning, Mate.

Hey, killer! Take some.

I never kill anybody! You understand? I killed no-one!

Have you had breakfast?.

Would you like to join me?

Am I imagining things or are you really from America?

You're talking about that asshole who left my mother

and fled to America? Bartul Marinkovic?

Right now I feel like a quarter of Bepo,

but don't worry; I 'll soon be the same old Bepo...!

And now he died

and left me a few bucks, huh?

Wait, wait...

I don't know about you, but I need a bracer.

That jack-ass!

He wouldn't call while he was alive,

and now when he's dead he's screwing me!?

You're blocking the passage again?!

I have to eat between two bottles, right?

Get a life!

(My little Honzie...) -Back off! -(This is not fair!)

Back off! Tell her! -Tell her what?!

Come here, please.

Why did you arrest him? -None of your business! Please...

It is my business! He's my guest!

Your guest?. Then I'll tell you why.

He killed two men! -He killed two men?!

Who told you that? -He himself!

Hey, killer, tell him whom you killed last night.

Just a moment. Inspector says

you killed two people. Right?.

It mistake! I killed no-one! I innocent! Understand, sir?

He says he's innocent. -Yeah, right! And last night

he said he killed our two Bepos! Should I forget that?. !

Mate, no offense, but... -None taken.

You are... Wait... Let's face it:

you're wrong. -What?

He wants my Bepo Stambuk. The tourist guide.

So? -He banged his wife.

So he... What?!

He screwed his wife. -Which one? -This blonde bunny here!

You understand? -Yes, Mate understands that...

So the man was offended. He caught them at it;

my Bepo fled through the window. And shit hit the fan.

Even if he'd wanted to kill him, he hadn't!

No shit? Well, he said he had!

My Honzie good man!

He kill no-one! -I was drunk! Understand? I drunk all night

You drank all night? ln which bar? -Gu-gu...

"Gusti". That's where I found him.

If he'd been drinking all night,

he couldn't have killed that disc-jockey!

You talked to the waiter? -Why should l?

You should.

Fuck! I'll ask him.

You guys move, and I'll arrest you!

Pops...

Admit it; you didn't have so many girls!

What are you laughing at?.

I feel like it. -Blow!

You speak English?!

And how dare you listen to guests?!

I'll call your boss.

He told me to listen. We even placed a bet. -Oh, yeah?

I'll smack you! Can't you leave a decent guy alone?

I would, but he said you'd recite in English.

And you took it?. ! -He's my boss; what can I do?

Get me two kilos of scampi and a bottle of your best wine.

I'm glad for Bepo.

He's a good boy. Not some asshole.

Someone else would pretend not to know you any more.

But he greeted me warmly, as he always did.

the millionaire. The only one left.

The other two fucked up the tourist season!

Oh, fuck...!

You can't be here!

Rascals!

Praise the Lord. -Forever more.

Feeling good? -Fine, thanks. Off to work, huh?

Have to.

You found your sandal? -I did!

Hi, Bepo. -You OK? -Fine, thanks.

Hello, Bepo! -How's it going? -She's a good catch.

Hey, Bepo! -Hi, Stipe!

Come here, have a drink!

Freeze or I'll shoot! Is that her?. -That's her!

She asked about Bepos; two are dead!

Now she's with the third! -Gotcha, birdie!

You can't run away from Mate!

I saw Dirty Harry 12,5 times!

Are you nuts?! Put that away! She came for me!

Yes, to shoot you, like the other two Bepos!

She came to tell me myfather died

and left me all he had.

Why would she kill me?! You're sure?

Or you're thinking with something else?

As sure as I am when I say you are the best cop in Bol!

Alright then...

You see how you make me look like a moron!

I see, Mate. -I see, Mate! Beat it

or I'll break your arms!

Tell me, how much did he leave you?

Don't know. Much, she says.

Oh, Pops, you really fucked me up...

Look, Honzie!

Mr Honza, I hope

you're going to have a good time this week

and we can forget all about the inconveniences.

The tank is full, oxygen tanks are ready.

As for the underwater gun...

Mate promised to forget about the diving permit;

frankly, he's grateful you didn't press charges.

Thank you!

Speed-boat very nice! Many thanks! -Bye, Kristinka.

Bepo, Bepo...

Is there anything left down there?!

(A little perversion...)

So, you're going to America? -Like fuck I am!

I'd miss all this, man!

Don't act crazy! Want to switch places?

What do you think of that American chick?

Which one? -Oh, fuck, there aren't 50 of them in Bol!?

I'm married. Which means dead.

Well, Kuzma, I am not yet!

Your go! -Here!

This is mine.

Oh, mother...!

Here he comes.

What's that moaning? Are you all losing?

It's hard to ride a bicycle all day.

The doctor told me,

Don't playwith your heart! Buy a scooter.

It's cheap; nothing for your Bepo.

I am moaning because this suit's turned into rags.

I wore it when your dad and I

chased girls through Bol!

Leave him alone; he doesn't have the money yet.

If he had it, he'd notice the church bell's broken;

and now God doesn't know where Bol is.

I'm not complaining, see? I'll even do you a favor:

if you buy some wine, you can keep it in my cellar!

Don't be like that; his dad died. -Poor thing.

His Daddy died? Poor Bepo.

He must've loved him so much.

He was his idol. -He loved him so much he imitated him!

He once told me I swear on my dad!

And then he lied!

Enough of this idle talk.

Let's sing for our Bepo!

Bepo is such a wonderful name

Bepo is such a wonderful name

What's going on here?

That's our Bepo.

He inherited big bucks from America.

So much you can drink your whole life and not think

about paying! -Even more! -Why more? -Why not?.

Don't leave now! -Have to show you the barrels.

I have to go! -Shout another round.

Wait!

Wait. Aren't you old Mato's son,

who killed those tourists and fled to America?

What?

Shit! Fucking brakes!

What the fuck have I got myself into?!

What's this, for Pete's sake?! What...

What, you again?!

With a girl by your side, you see nothing, huh?!

You're just like your father!

Leave him out of this! Besides, my car's broken too!

My wife will kill me!

Coincidence? No way! I told you. But you wouldn't listen.

I don't care about you, but this poor thing...

I knew it! Shit always happens to me!

Fucking life... -Bull.

Tell me if you've seen anything unusual lately.

Ask her too. -Let see:

my dad called that he's dead,

left me a few millions, two Bepos died,

I almost got screwed today...

No; everything seems normal!

Don't fuck with me!

Do you want me to save you or kill you?! Tell me!

Lots of guys would be glad if you were dead.

Hold on.

She says No. -I know that much English! -Wait.

That's his wife. He left her penniless.

It's obvious she paid the killer.

This is your dad? -I don't give a fuck about him.

I'm not sure about her. -Give me that.

Sure? lf I waited to be sure,

this here would be Chicago!

First you nab them and ask questions later!

Let's check the hotels for any Americans.

Have a place to hide? Want to stay in jail? -Oh, come on!

Alright. Forget it. Let's go.

Poor Mate! Does it hurt? -You fucking moron!

Is this a place to practice!? -The contest's tomorrow.

Sorry... -Shut up! Where are those two Americans?

Left an hour ago. -Left?. !

I told you not to let them go!

You didn't. -Sure I didn't!

You're not that stupid! -They checked out and left.

What could I do?! -They killed two men

and tried to kill the third! -Guests come and go.

How could I tell who they are? -Shut up! Keyto their room!

Is it cleaned? -Yes. -Good... What?!

No, no! -At least something. Wait!

Do you have the list of the numbers they called?

Yes. -Good.

Print it. -I will. -Hurry!

You won't believe what we caught.It'll be some barbecue!

I'll barbecue you instead of the fish, you bastard!

What have I done, Mimi? -Don't you Mimi me!

If you were a man enough to chase whores, be a man now

when you talk to me! -Me? Chasing whores?!

I was not, Mimi. I swear on my eyes.

Where are your shorts? -Shorts?

Don't play dumb!

Where are they... -Your purple short are missing!

I don't count them! -Well, I do!

Maybe the wind blew them away, or someone stole them!

Stole them?! I'm not stupid! -Where's your dress?

You wear jeans all the time. Go inside.... Here's Bepo.

Forgot to tell you;

a guy from America is trying to kill him.

They'll sleep here. -This bimbo's husband, right?

Mimi, don't make a scene, please... Come here!

Whore! -Don't do that, hon...

So you've started bringing them into the house, huh?!

Come here. -What now...?

What idiots...

Found anything?

Are you fucking crazy?. ! -I have the numbers.

Why didn't you wait down- stairs?! -Isn't it urgent?

If I'd waited downstairs...

Cut the shit!

Only this number? -7 calls. Always the same number.

Always the same number.

When the guy's a pro... huh?

Someone else wouldn't even think of checking the phone.

Come here.

Always the same number...

What do you think?

My English is not good,

but this sounds like a sexy-line.

Gimme... -Don't!

You idiot!

So, how was it? Did you dip it?.

Give me a break! Can't talk about it. -Why not?

Why not? This is like... something more serious.

What did you see in her? -What did you see in Mimi?

Mimi is my wife. It's like serious.

This is also like serious.

She's like your wife? -OK, she isn't.

But she might be... a serious thing.

What's this? -No idea.

Mimi!

What happened?

Yes?

He wants me to sign that I give up the inheritance.

He'll kill you the minute he sees you. -I have to get her!

Let's go.

This banger's completely fucked up.

Bepo who? Can't you see my car's broken down?!

Fuck Bepo. Go jump in the sea.

Wait.

Didn't you and Sime kill those tourists

and then you ran away?.

Wait a little...

We'll talk later!

You motherfucker!

Help!

Everything ready?. -Yes.

Help her.

The wind? -Perfect.

Run away; that one'll kill you.

You motherfucker!

Stop, you creep!

You motherfucker!

Now we'll see who's a bad egg!

You cocksucker!

You'd miss a cow in the middle of the road!

Fuck the cow; let us drink in peace.

What's wrong with Kuzma?!

Move away! -He's crazy.

It's my fucking luck!

Why is this happening to me?!

What have I done to...

I'll kill him!

I'll show you who's Luigi, you motherfucker!

Bravo, Gale!

(You must understand that!)

(But you know I love you. Only you!)

(But it hurts me very much, Kristinka!)

(Can't you quit?! -I'll try.)

(But you have to help me too.)

(My little Honzie... -Kristinka...)

(Give us a kiss...)

(What, all of these guys want you?!)

(D'you speak German? ltalian?)

We're screwed.

What the fuck's going on here?!

Is this working?

I told him, Don't, Bepo. I don't need it.

But he wouldn't listen.

He said, You're the best guy

that Bol ever saw... -Best guy my ass!

And therefore you deserve... -A kick in the butt!

...this little present... -Because you opened my mail

for years! -And drank at least 100 l of my wine each year.

Look who's talking! He got you seven suits!

I'm different!

Right; you're an asshole and he's the buttocks!

Oh, you sewer-mouths!

A nice example you are for the children!

(Where have you been?! -Here, honey.)

(Come with me.)

I'm in the papers!

Like Clint Eastwood, huh?

They say I look like Galiano Pahor,

that actor from Rijeka.

Pahor who? Never heard of him.

Bepo asked me what I'd like. I said, Sonny,

I'd like to be 20 years younger.

Nonsense. You're nice and beautiful as you are.

Let's drink to that.

You could buy some of my brandy. -I will!

Ladies and gents,

dear guests, both foreign and domestic,

it's my honor to have the honor...

And to make it short...

You may kiss the bride and let's party.

Congratulations!

Thanks for the bike. -Congratulations.

Let's hope for a bunch of kids! -Thanks.

Best wishes from the local piss artists.

Let's have a drink.

Sime! ls that you?

I am, Luigi! Do you remember, 15 years ago

you squealed on me and fled to America?

Remember that?

Yes, you did. You'll remember, mate.

Oh, boy... I'm fucked!

I'm fucked.