Original subtitles

I need someone to go to Mexico for a day.

Go to bank, meet banker, give money.

That's it.

Come home.

State of Texas can't risk you disappearing again.

I know where he is at all times.

I have to be here 'cause you're here.

And if this Chili's device goes off,

if I hear that awful buzz

before this money's tucked back in the bank,

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

But we have an ice-cream van, man.

Dad, I need to talk to you.

I'm trying to do something good, but something bad happened.

Hello, boys.

So, what do you say, boys?

I'm not gonna hurt you.

What are you making a hole for, you?

Uh, you.

Why are you going to a sheriff's convention?

You sell cars.

So I can find the sheriff.

I thought he go to the consulate, the old guy.

Why didn't he go there?

Oh, fuck. He has my wallet.

He has my address.

Shit.

What's up, baby dick?

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Fat fuck.

The back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

Yeah, I started with a little at first...

'cause my wife kept coming down on my weight a little.

I didn't want that to affect my relationship with her,

you know, like, feeling down about her,

'cause I love her,

but she was just, like, trying to make me healthier.

So I thought about losing weight.

Then I thought, "Hey, man..."

why don't you start getting into porn

where the woman be coming down on the man?

"Then... Then you'll really love her."

That's fucking stupid as shit.

Yeah.

And I got into it, man. It's lonely.

Yeah, man.

You know how that stuff works.

You start needing a little more every time.

Then you met me, joad.

Yeah.

Run away with me.

Seriously?

Yeah, seriously.

Oh, man. Uh...

We can do it, dildo.

Hey.

Dildo.

We can do it.

We can do it all.

Hey, fuck dinner.

Let's go up to your room.

You can fuck my socks off.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Okay, there it goes.

Really?

Yeah.

Mmmm.

That's it?

Yeah.

That's my complete love.

That was pretty speedy.

I'm gonna call you "Speedy",

not for Speedy Gonzales 'cause that's not cool.

And I have my line.

And I love you.

And... And I would never hurt you in that way.

I'll humiliate you nonstop, but...

I will never cross that line.

So when I call you "Speedy",

it'll just be so we remember this first beautiful night,

not because Speedy Gonzales was a...

fast, dumb Mexican mouse.

Cool.

Did your socks really come off?

One is, yeah.

Cool.

Doing something like this, taking something

from someone else... it's a hard thing.

But I know you love your family.

Leaving your family is a hard thing, too.

But maybe you can use the one hard thing

to make the other hard thing okay.

And the one thing that makes it okay to take the money

from these old people

is they're fucking bad people.

This is the softest way to do something hard.

You've just got to hold these two old people

for a couple weeks, get those death certificates,

and then let them go.

And then...

then it's you and me, sissy.

♪ Perpetual Grace, Wandering Left

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

- Hey. - Hi.

Nice choice.

Oh, thanks.

Let's get her out on the road, yeah?

Oh, I don't know.

It's a little more than I wanted to spend,

and, um, yeah, I-I got to get back to work, pretty much,

so...

That's cool. Yeah.

Pussy.

Did you...

What?

Did you just call me a pussy?

Did I?

I think so, yeah.

Out loud?

Yeah.

Man.

I was thinking it.

Oh, I was totally thinking it, but...

we're allowed to think it,

but we're not allowed to say it,

so... I'm sorry.

Hey.

Yeah?

Please don't tell anyone here

that I said my actual, real thoughts about you.

Um...

'Cause I could be in trouble here.

See?

See what?

See I'm afraid, too.

But I guess I don't let my fear stop me

from saying something that I think is totally true.

So... I guess I'm sort of a pussy, too.

But I'm not a total pussy...

like you.

I'm not a total pussy.

Cool. Let's go for a ride.

Oh.

Ooh.

Ahh.

You want to pay a little extra for undercoating.

Okay.

And overcoating.

Okay. Totally.

$1,000.

Okay.

Each.

Okay. Totally. Yeah.

- It was a real pleasure dealing... - Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, Speedy.

Hey, honey. Hey.

Yeah?

I'm risking for love...

trying not to be a total pussy here.

Hang on.

Fuck.

Where are you?

Field.

I'm always in fields.

Why?

Because I always now have to talk about things

I can't talk about.

Like, this is really fucked up, Valerie, honey.

How?

The guy and the lady?

Yeah?

Man, the guy... oh, fuck!

And the lady? Man!

But I got a plan.

Cool plan.

Yeah.

This is a cool plan.

Just breathe through the breathing-straw mechanism.

You'll be fine.

Now I've got to drive another 100 miles

to my house for part two of the plan.

The Kilroy County Sheriff Service is requesting

a missing-child alert.

The missing child, Glenn Pirdoo, 15,

is described as white, male, 100 pounds,

last seen wearing a protective cranial helmet and ear guards.

Glenn Pirdoo was last seen working at the Pirdoo Pawn Shop

in the downtown of Half Acre.

We made the bank... way to go, man...

but we did miss the last bus home.

- Want to get something to eat? - Fuck, yeah.

New Leaf.

Yeah?

We're getting something to eat.

Okay.

You want to come?

Yeah, okay.

Cool invite.

Are you a Special Boy?

Special what?

I told Glenn we were in a gang

to help with the get-the-money thing.

Well, that's a shitty name for a gang.

Nobody's gonna be afraid of that.

It's not that kind of gang. It's...

Then what kind of gang is it?

It's, uh, a love gang.

It's a gang of love... or something.

Oh, fuck.

Not supposed to, Wesley. It's a parole violation.

Not supposed to, Dave.

It's an interview violation.

Is this an interview?

Yes.

For what?

Paul's missing. A kid's missing.

I want some information.

Tell me about Paul, Dave.

Wesley

we're talking about my nephew here,

my sister's child.

If it's not out of order,

can I ask you what the nature of your investigation is

into our Paul?

It's not out of order, Dave.

Oh. Okay, Wesley.

- That's, uh... - Murder.

- Murder? - Yes.

Of a little girl, Dave,

some years ago in Greater Austin.

Your nephew was acquainted with the girl,

and two days after we discovered her body...

Paul disappeared before we could question him.

Now the pawn-shop kid is missing.

Paul's fled.

I'm trying to get a warrant for Paul's arrest.

I need your help.

Shit.

What?

I got these jumbled.

I got these fuckers jumbled.

I don't know which is which here.

I don't know which is the "your table is ready" one

and which is the "your parents are dead" one.

Fuck.

Hey, Glenn, would you go see if our table's ready?

It's probably our table, man.

Yeah.

I mean...

what are the fucking odds there?

Yeah.

Plus it's been like 20 minutes,

and they said 20 minutes, right, for the table?

They did. Right. For the table.

They're okay, really.

Hey.

Hey.

They're okay.

It would be an insane coincidence.

You're okay.

Thanks, man.

Guys.

Table's ready.

Any correspondence with Paul?

Over the years?

Yeah.

Regularly, yes.

I wonder if I could have a look at that, Dave,

if you have that.

I have it.

Got a shoe box, Wesley.

I wonder if I can have a look at that box.

Uh...

I'm not comfortable with that.

Why is that, Dave?

Well, I know more than I'd like to

about being wrongly accused.

At the moment, I'm gathering information at this stage.

Maybe some of this information can help Paul, Dave.

I'm sorry, Wesley.

Byron!

Señor.

Me. Hey. Right.

I don't speak Spanish.

English... that's all I got.

I've got a word for you in English...

for you all.

Harrowing.

You know it?

Harrowing...

to think that I might never have... wisened to...

have wisened to the news,

the fact... the blessed fact...

that I'm those kids' real dad.

Those two, the big ones.

They don't know it, but, yes, fact.

And I chose this special time and day here with you

to share this beautiful news with them, my sons.

I'm filled with love for you, sons, my sons.

sons,

with love for you.

Let me tell you our story.

What else can you tell me about Paul?

Certified muff diver.

How's that? Wh... Muff?

My sister, Lillian... she had an innocent...

She bought Paul a shirt here...

"Certified muff diver".

She didn't realize, you know, what it meant...

the sexual aspect of it.

She just thought it meant,

uh... "reef" or something oceanic.

I don't know.

Anyway, after that,

he used to wear it... from time to time...

make her laugh.

So now I look at this photo from time to time

to make me laugh.

Paul Brown?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. It's my daughter.

Hi, honey, call me a little later.

Are you sure you gave the right one back?

Yeah, man.

'Cause I don't want you trying to kill me

every time someone's table's ready in a Mexican Chili's.

Yeah.

The one I gave back to the gal was still buzzing.

Left isn't west.

What?

Sometimes it is, I mean, but...

sometimes it isn't.

Life taught me that.

- Cool. - Thanks.

How's your head?

I still feel pain,

but I also feel pride next to the pain, like roommates.

Well, that's good, Glenn.

Yeah.

Sounds like life.

I'm not gonna put my gear back on again.

I'm gonna take the pain of life.

Hey.

Special Boys.

Special Boys.

What do we do again?

What do we do what?

Our gang.

Do we do good deeds?

No.

Do we spread awareness?

Not really.

What do we do?

We just go around...

supporting each other.

Go around what?

We just go...

like, if you're in a place

and you just got a haircut,

we notice that shit and we say,

"Hey, man... nice haircut."

Cool.

And if it's not a good haircut

and we're in a place, we say, uh...

"Hey, man, it'll grow out."

It always grows out.

Always grows out.

How many Special Boys are there?

Um...

three.

For now.

For now, but that, like...

That makes it more special.

Yeah, it does... make it more special.

Excuse me.

I think your friend left this at the table.

Thank you.

Hey.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

No, I haven't been home yet.

Attention. We have an emergency bulletin

from The Kilroy County Sheriff's Service...

One hears, doesn't one,

about the God-shaped hole in human hearts?

Which expresses, my guess,

the hunger for splendor, for grace,

for big love, for mercy,

for tenderness, more big love, and peace.

And there is a hole.

Fuck, yes. Pardon.

There's a hole... in all our hearts.

But they got the shape wrong.

It's dad-shaped, lads.

So many of us endeavor, strive,

so many of us struggle here together

with the father-shaped empty space

in our lives where good old Dad should be, but rarely is.

Absent, alcoholic,

distracted, put upon,

limited, ornery, impatient,

bigoted, plain fucking... pardon... stupid.

These are our fathers, children...

if you have fathers at all.

Many of you do not.

And none of you, I imagine,

have good old Dad except these two.

No.

Hello, boys.

I'm good old Dad.

Paul Allen Brown's gone again, Judge...

simultaneous to the half-day that a child has gone missing,

simultaneous almost to the hour.

Judge.

Yeah, Wesley?

It feels the same.

Wesley, I can't give you an arrest warrant based on that.

It's not enough.

Goodbye, Wesley.

Byron!

I met the boys' mother at an airport bar in Honduras.

Travelers...

she, bound for Mexico,

I, elsewhere,

thrust together.

Connection.

Oh, how we laughed.

The small things drew us together.

Walking together, talking at times,

not talking at times, being,

just being... being as one...

until it was taken hostage by forces...

held as a hostage,

presumed dead by your mother, my darling,

sparing you, my boys, the horror.

Secret father.

Escape... my every thought. Reach the boys.

I... devised and...

executed my escape this past Tuesday,

journeyed immediately to you, secret sons.

Those, um ice-cream moments...

those moments were my effort to ease into the remarkable yous.

Rented an ice-cream rig.

Went the extra mile.

Missed the chance to deliver the big news.

Ice-cream-wise. Here now.

Diving in...

into the remarkable news.

How did you escape?

Karate.

Did you kill anyone?

Everyone... Everyone that held me

and kept me from my secret sons.

Sheriff, Paul Brown... Paul Allen Brown, my guy...

Yeah?

... my guy with the girl thing?

Missing girl?

He's gone.

Paul Brown's gone?

Left the county, state...

country... Mexico...

this morning when your boy went missing.

How do you know?

I've been monitoring Paul.

Can you put a warrant out?

Not quite.

I can almost make a case but not quite.

What's with the round-up?

Those are the former child-botherers.

And?

And there's a missing child, Wesley...

so holding and talking to all of them.

Well, David Lesser was with me when that boy went missing,

so if you don't mind, let me run him home.

Boy's missing?

Yeah, pawn-shop kid.

Glenn Pirdoo.

Problematic dad...

and maybe just run away.

Paul's gone... as well?

Yeah, Paul's gone.

He's a dimwit, too, I hear...

the kid...

with some minor to maybe major brain damage.

He might have just... wandered off.

Yeah, well...

maybe not.

What's that?

Maybe not.

Maybe it's the worst thing.

Wesley...

... it's Father's Day, Wesley...

today.

That's heartbreaking for the dad.

Problematic or not.

You've reached Richard Williams. I'm unable to take your call.

Please leave a message.

Mr. Williams, it's Wesley Walker.

Hello.

Um...

I'm calling...

... I don't have... an update, exactly,

about your daughter's case, but I'm away from the office,

following through on an aspect of the case.

I'm following through on something, and...

and I wanted you to know that.

Okay.

Happy Father's Day, as well.

Okay.

Paul's letters.

Thanks.

Now, they're not all in there, Wesley.

But there's quite a few.

And you're welcome to it.

Thanks, Dave.

This boy's disappeared?

Yes, Judge.

And Paul Allen Brown's disappeared?

Yes, Judge.

And Paul Allen Brown wrote

that he would make a little girl disappear?

Yes, Judge.

Okay, Wesley.

You've got a warrant. Arrest him.

A little bit about me, personally...

I own a helicopter, and, yeah, I'm a black belt in karate

with red stripes for some secret shit I know.

Oh, pardon.

You guys like video games?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I think video games really hone

a young man's hand-eye coordination.

At the end of the day, I think they're awesome.

I also believe the consumption of pornography

teaches boys intimacy.

I foster its use. I leave it lying around.

And I won't be at work always, like other dads.

Sons, that's a promise. That's a dad promise.

But I will work enough to enable me

to surprise you with gifts just 'cause.

Just' cause.

And I will always be there for you... always.

When needed, when not.

Hey, giving you space.

You will have space. You will have love.

You will have girlfriends,

as I shall teach you the ways.

You'll be nourished by my care and attention.

We will make time for fun.

You're the most important thing in my life.

You are number one.

You're not alone.

You are not... physically unusual-looking.

We come in all shapes and sizes.

I love you. I love you both.

And I will fill your emptiness

with wisdom and patience,

and I will always be, sons, the same...

an open heart, easy with a smile,

quick to forgive, and just the one to come to in a pinch,

big or small.

Dynamite!

God, I love you.

Hop in.

Yep, that's right. Follow the big one.

It's gonna be a long night before the morning buzz.

Glenn being gone might have kicked up a hornets' nest.

I hope we made all the right moves.

What you flashed me...

Yeah?

Two fingers.

Yeah.

Peace sign?

'Cause it's too late for peace... for me.

No, it wasn't that. It wasn't peace.

How?

I'm not like...

probably not like you, not directly.

Yeah. I'm directly.

The guy had 11 kids.

Man.

11.

Fuck.

11 kids just wandering left now.

What was your connection if it wasn't direct?

I ran away.

Guy took my hose and died in a fire.

Well, maybe he should have run away, too.

Yeah, I say that to myself a lot.

Yeah, and?

Now it doesn't do it.

How did you get into all of this, anyway?

Have you found a disillusioned young man

to take your place there

in Half Whatever?

Half Acre.

Have you found someone?

Someone disillusioned?

Almost, but not, like, disillusioned enough.

Oh. Shit.

I'm sorry.

Oh.

Man. Wow.

Shit.

I'm sorry.

I was just coming in here to, like, trade my car in

for something, um... less...

so I could give the diff to a, uh, colleague's,

uh... offspring.

And I gu... I guess I just...

lost my train of thought there on the way in.

I'm really sorry.

Okay. Well...

maybe I'll just leave this here

and you can, like,

have it...

for the window...

and then we'll be even Steven.

Okay. Well...

... just gonna, like... wander off.

Okay. Goodbye.

Much love. You're doing all so great.

Enjoy the flight!

Good night.

Well...

I'm heading in.

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