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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,975 It's just until grandma can see them. 2 00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,242 My neck hole is too small. 3 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:07,581 Mine's itchy. 4 00:00:07,648 --> 00:00:10,020 I'd rather be itchy than choky. 5 00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,219 Come on, phil. Hurry up. 6 00:00:11,288 --> 00:00:12,725 Okay, here we go. 7 00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:14,964 Connecting. 8 00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:17,703 come in, florida! Over! 9 00:00:17,771 --> 00:00:19,437 Mom? Dad? 10 00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:21,074 Hello, phillip. 11 00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:25,453 Merry christmas eve! Merry christmas eve! 12 00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:27,457 Merry christmas eve! 13 00:00:27,525 --> 00:00:29,259 A little -- little lower, dad. 14 00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:31,097 merry christmas eve. 15 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,803 Thank you -- thanks for the sweaters! 16 00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:36,009 oh, you're welcome. 17 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,547 You look beautiful in them. 18 00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:38,714 Where's mom? 19 00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:41,219 Mom is sinking fast. Uh-oh. 20 00:00:41,287 --> 00:00:42,420 She's in the bathtub. 21 00:00:43,859 --> 00:00:46,164 They have that claw foot. I know, yeah. 22 00:00:46,232 --> 00:00:48,669 Hey, pops, here's the tree. 23 00:00:48,738 --> 00:00:51,342 And, uh, there -- there's the, uh -- 24 00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:53,547 There's the ornament you sent us. 25 00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,314 Right here. Right here. 26 00:00:55,382 --> 00:00:57,619 There are the stockings, 27 00:00:57,688 --> 00:01:00,763 Hung by the chimney by claire. 28 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,598 Oh, still funny, son. 29 00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:05,202 What the hell is that? 30 00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:07,375 What is that? That looks like a cigarette burn. 31 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,214 Was one of you smoking a cigarette? 32 00:01:09,282 --> 00:01:10,148 No. No. No. No. 33 00:01:10,215 --> 00:01:11,919 Which one of you was smoking? 34 00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:13,524 Not me. I have a respiratory problem. 35 00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:15,258 Obviously, it wasn't you. 36 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,730 Now I've got a family of liars and smokers. Honey, come here. 37 00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,203 You got to see this. 38 00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:21,574 Did you shoplift your christmas presents, too? 39 00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:23,042 Haley, keep that ugly sweater on. 40 00:01:23,109 --> 00:01:24,480 Anyway... 41 00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:25,915 Merry christmas! 42 00:01:30,064 --> 00:01:37,874 -- Sync by honeybunny -- www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:48,464 --> 00:01:49,768 Are you crying? 44 00:01:49,837 --> 00:01:51,569 What are you, a robot? 45 00:01:51,637 --> 00:01:54,042 It's a deeply emotional movie. 46 00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,247 Manny, mi amor, I need you to help me in the kitchen. 47 00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,853 We got to finish this first, gloria. 48 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,923 The kid's never seen "miracle on 34th street." 49 00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:01,759 That's because he always spends christmas in colombia 50 00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:03,230 With my family. 51 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:06,469 And all we see there is "salazar and el oso save christmas." 52 00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,307 Sounds like a classic. It is. 53 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,279 Mom, can we finish the movie? 54 00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:11,914 Okay. 55 00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:19,902 Aah! What the hell is that? 56 00:02:19,969 --> 00:02:21,334 What the hell is that? 57 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,402 inocente! 58 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,841 What the hell? 59 00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:27,014 When you told me we were going to watch this movie, 60 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,819 I got a joke copy from the internet. 61 00:02:28,886 --> 00:02:30,724 You are the inocente! 62 00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,962 Well, maybe I'm a little confused right now. 63 00:02:33,031 --> 00:02:34,397 What is this inocente stuff? 64 00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:37,973 In colombia, practical jokes are a christmas tradition. 65 00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:40,075 The one that is fooled is the inocente! 66 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,546 We tell practical jokes on April fool's day. 67 00:02:42,615 --> 00:02:44,652 Do not do that again. 68 00:02:46,024 --> 00:02:47,290 Inocente. 69 00:02:48,998 --> 00:02:50,364 Does it do it again? 70 00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:52,302 Ah, it's ruined. 71 00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:53,841 Are you kidding me with this line? 72 00:02:53,909 --> 00:02:56,012 I'm gonna ask santa for the last 45 minutes of my life back. 73 00:02:56,081 --> 00:02:57,380 Oh, would you cheer up? 74 00:02:57,448 --> 00:02:59,652 We're in santa's village with our daughter. 75 00:02:59,719 --> 00:03:01,056 Where were we a year ago? 76 00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:02,657 Uh, we were at the beginning of this line. 77 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,929 Okay, you know what? 78 00:03:03,997 --> 00:03:05,163 Somebody needs to get in the holiday -- 79 00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:06,568 Son of a bitch. 80 00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:10,307 Maybe it's not them. 81 00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:12,846 Oh, it's them. 82 00:03:12,914 --> 00:03:15,219 It's them. 83 00:03:15,287 --> 00:03:17,357 Three years ago, I formed a caroling group. 84 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,329 We were known as "the greensleevers." 85 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:21,335 We would perform at charity events, hospitals. 86 00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:23,135 And they were very, very popular. 87 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,474 Uh, last year... 88 00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:29,118 One of my carolers -- andrew... 89 00:03:29,185 --> 00:03:31,019 Staged a little coup... 90 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,757 And, he, um... 91 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:40,974 They kicked cameron out of the group. 92 00:03:56,576 --> 00:03:58,214 thank you. 93 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,719 We're the new greensleevers. 94 00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:04,896 The new greensleevers. 95 00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:06,562 Is there a slap mark on my face? 96 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,801 I mean, why is edna singing the low harmony? 97 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:11,008 It's like people are applauding out of shock. 98 00:04:11,075 --> 00:04:12,309 Let it go. 99 00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:13,346 Okay, next. 100 00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:14,414 Oh, finally. 101 00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:16,752 Whoa. Chuckles ] 102 00:04:16,819 --> 00:04:19,457 Um, I'm sorry. Can I -- could -- could you... 103 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,363 What happened to the other santa? 104 00:04:21,431 --> 00:04:23,601 Listen, we've been waiting in this line for a really long time, 105 00:04:23,669 --> 00:04:26,275 And we just want a santa that actually looks like santa. 106 00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:28,379 Mitchell, it's okay. No, no, no, cam. It's not okay. 107 00:04:28,447 --> 00:04:29,746 This is lily's first christmas. 108 00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:31,851 I want to make sure everything is perfect. 109 00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:33,691 And we're gonna wait for the fat santa. 110 00:04:33,758 --> 00:04:35,629 I knew this would happen. 111 00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,696 I-I don't even know why we hired this guy. 112 00:04:37,765 --> 00:04:39,302 See? Even his elves agree with me. 113 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:40,535 Thank you. 114 00:04:40,603 --> 00:04:42,807 I didn't know christmas made you so petty. 115 00:04:45,647 --> 00:04:46,486 lackluster! 116 00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:51,530 I hate you! 117 00:04:51,598 --> 00:04:52,830 This is unacceptable. 118 00:04:52,898 --> 00:04:54,568 And I want to know whdid this. 119 00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:55,703 Hmm? 120 00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:57,374 Nobody, huh? 121 00:04:57,441 --> 00:04:59,614 I guess the couch did it to itself. 122 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,886 I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette, 123 00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:03,252 And then it burned itself. 124 00:05:03,319 --> 00:05:05,258 Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense. 125 00:05:05,325 --> 00:05:07,662 If whoever is responsible doesn't come forward, 126 00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:10,069 Your father and I are just gonna have to punish all three of you. 127 00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,036 What? Yeah. 128 00:05:11,104 --> 00:05:12,108 That's not fair. 129 00:05:12,175 --> 00:05:13,408 I can forgive the smoking, 130 00:05:13,475 --> 00:05:14,446 But I can't forgive the lie... 131 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:17,785 Phil. Or the smoking. 132 00:05:17,853 --> 00:05:19,557 No one wants to confess, huh? 133 00:05:19,624 --> 00:05:21,292 No? That's fine. 134 00:05:21,359 --> 00:05:23,297 'cause you know what happens next? 135 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,035 We cancel christmas. 136 00:05:26,603 --> 00:05:28,041 That's not fair. That's not fair. 137 00:05:28,109 --> 00:05:29,680 Okay, dad, sure. 138 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,886 Phil has a habit of making big pronouncements to the kids. 139 00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:35,657 One time I told luke 140 00:05:35,725 --> 00:05:38,230 That if he didn't put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, 141 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,034 We would put them in his bed. 142 00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:43,940 Phil's problem is follow-through. 143 00:05:46,314 --> 00:05:47,684 We had no more dishes, 144 00:05:47,752 --> 00:05:50,891 So we were eating cere out of the goldfish bowl. 145 00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,229 Okay, guess where I'm headed. 146 00:05:53,298 --> 00:05:55,434 To take down the tree. That's right. 147 00:05:55,503 --> 00:05:56,735 Come on, guys. 148 00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,707 Whoever did is, just take responsibility. 149 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,613 Don't put the rest of us through this. 150 00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:02,214 Luke? No? 151 00:06:02,282 --> 00:06:04,385 This is really it, okay? 152 00:06:04,453 --> 00:06:05,890 Here we go. 153 00:06:07,664 --> 00:06:10,335 3...2...1... 154 00:06:11,769 --> 00:06:14,141 Okay. Goodbye, dunphy christmas. 155 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,013 Haley, I guess you're not getting that car. 156 00:06:16,081 --> 00:06:17,380 I was getting a car?! 157 00:06:17,447 --> 00:06:19,252 No, I was lying, because that's what we do now. 158 00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:21,691 Dunphys are liars. 159 00:06:29,548 --> 00:06:32,420 I mean, what's with them tossing out candy canes after every carol? 160 00:06:32,487 --> 00:06:33,926 It's pandering. 161 00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:35,560 I think you made that clear when you tossed them back. 162 00:06:35,626 --> 00:06:37,398 Okay, how am I supposed to get all this in the car? 163 00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:38,602 Let me give you a hand with that. 164 00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:40,704 Uh, thanks. Thanks -- thanks, santa. 165 00:06:40,771 --> 00:06:42,408 Can't call me that anymore. 166 00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:44,482 Just got canned. 167 00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:46,153 Oh. Really? 168 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,253 Guess a couple of people complained I wasn't fat enough. 169 00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:49,792 Well, that's terrible. 170 00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,098 That'shat I get for trying not to have a second heart attack. 171 00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:53,703 There you go. 172 00:06:53,771 --> 00:06:55,136 Always a way to make room. 173 00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:57,343 Take it from someone who lives in his car. 174 00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,815 Um...Oh, well, thank you so much. 175 00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:01,685 No problem. Merry christmas. 176 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,020 Um, wait, wait. 177 00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,192 Um, please, let me give you a little something. 178 00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,364 For -- for your troubles. No, that's okay. No, really, that's okay. 179 00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:08,631 Do you really live in your car? 180 00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:10,737 Yeah, it's not so bad. 181 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,108 It's pretty roomy since the wife moved out. 182 00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:14,581 Well... 183 00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:16,247 Why don't you come over to our place for dinner tonight? 184 00:07:16,315 --> 00:07:17,520 Seriously? 185 00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,021 Yeah, it's christmas eve. 186 00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:21,293 You -- you can't spend it in your car. 187 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,297 Wow, that's really nice of you guys. 188 00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:24,702 Listen, can I bring anything? 189 00:07:24,771 --> 00:07:26,603 Ketchup, soy sauce, straws? 190 00:07:26,672 --> 00:07:28,175 We're good. 191 00:07:28,243 --> 00:07:31,080 So, uh, why don't you follow us to our house? 192 00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:32,487 Okay. In your house. 193 00:07:34,759 --> 00:07:36,191 All right. 194 00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:37,363 Cameron. What? 195 00:07:45,414 --> 00:07:47,014 Pajamas, which we sleep in. 196 00:07:49,421 --> 00:07:52,425 Manny on the stairs for the christmas picture. 197 00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:55,031 Then we open presents. 198 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,203 In colombia, they open presents at midnight 199 00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:58,308 And stay up till morning. 200 00:07:58,377 --> 00:07:59,808 I'm sure that they do, 201 00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:01,780 But as you'll notice from the absence of goats in the street, 202 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,386 We are not in colombia. 203 00:08:03,454 --> 00:08:06,258 come on, I'm kidding. 204 00:08:06,327 --> 00:08:09,298 Why can't we mix a couple of colombian traditions in? 205 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,770 Like what? Like fireworks. 206 00:08:11,837 --> 00:08:13,508 Come on, you don't have fireworks in colombia. 207 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,542 You're trying to make me the inocente again. 208 00:08:15,615 --> 00:08:16,881 No, we do. 209 00:08:16,949 --> 00:08:19,053 At night, the sky is beautiful, very christmasy. 210 00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:20,421 That doesn't make any sense. 211 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:22,825 Look, every country has their own traditions. 212 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,464 In our culture, for example, 213 00:08:24,532 --> 00:08:26,470 The baby jesus is the one that brings the gifts, 214 00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:28,270 Not the santa claus. 215 00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:29,775 But that doesn't make sense. 216 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,247 How could a newborn baby carry all those prents? 217 00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:34,554 They don't even know where their hands are. 218 00:08:34,621 --> 00:08:36,392 At least a baby can fit through a chimney. 219 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,896 How would you sit on the baby jesus' lap? 220 00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:39,998 You'd squish it. 221 00:08:40,064 --> 00:08:42,137 Manny, next year, we'll talk about 222 00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:43,907 Some of your little colombian traditions, okay? 223 00:08:43,975 --> 00:08:44,942 Maybe. 224 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,414 I know what "maybe" means. 225 00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:49,486 It's like you're trying to take away my whole christmas. 226 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,493 I can't believe it's all gone. 227 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:53,997 Dad never follows through. 228 00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,735 Are you sure one of your friends didn't burn the couch? 229 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,203 Hey, don't look at me. 230 00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,941 Only one of us was ever caught playing with matches. 231 00:09:00,009 --> 00:09:02,114 Luke. 232 00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:03,547 That was a year ago. 233 00:09:03,616 --> 00:09:05,153 Just admit you did it. 234 00:09:05,221 --> 00:09:06,220 You admit you did it! 235 00:09:06,287 --> 00:09:08,826 Okay. Look, I have an idea. 236 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,931 Do you remember the movie "spartacus"? 237 00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,109 Here's what we do -- 238 00:09:15,177 --> 00:09:17,681 Luke, you tell mom and dad it's your fault. 239 00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:18,847 I didn't do it. 240 00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:21,487 It doesn't matter, because after you coess, 241 00:09:21,555 --> 00:09:25,297 Haley and I will each confess to the same thing. 242 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,932 How does that do anything? 243 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,604 They'll be so touched that we're protecting each other 244 00:09:29,671 --> 00:09:31,743 That they'll have to bring back christmas. 245 00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:34,481 That's awesome. 246 00:09:34,548 --> 00:09:36,486 How does it work again? 247 00:09:36,554 --> 00:09:38,024 We're gonna pass into legend -- 248 00:09:38,092 --> 00:09:39,526 The parents who canceled christmas. 249 00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:40,864 I thought you'd be happy. 250 00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:42,197 They'll write songs about us, 251 00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:43,770 Make one of those christmaspecials 252 00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:45,374 With those ugly little clay people. 253 00:09:45,442 --> 00:09:46,708 You're the one who always says 254 00:09:46,777 --> 00:09:48,947 I shouldn't be sa pushover with the kids. 255 00:09:49,015 --> 00:09:50,786 So this is where you decide to make your stand? 256 00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:52,958 Really, phil? Okay, okay, look, don't worry. 257 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,225 We're going to have christmas. 258 00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:55,497 We raised our kids right. 259 00:09:55,564 --> 00:09:57,230 Whoever did it will come forward... 260 00:09:57,298 --> 00:09:58,869 Or the other two will rat them out. 261 00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:01,375 Mom? Dad? 262 00:10:01,442 --> 00:10:02,708 Hey, luke. 263 00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:05,719 What -- what can we do for you? 264 00:10:09,227 --> 00:10:12,164 I did it. I was playing with matches. 265 00:10:12,231 --> 00:10:13,264 I'm sorry. 266 00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,203 You, uh -- 267 00:10:15,271 --> 00:10:17,843 You did the right thing by confessing, 268 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:21,219 But, um... This is bad, buddy. 269 00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,254 I mean, really bad, okay? 270 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,826 Claire, you want to handle this? 271 00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:29,169 Um, luke, why didn't you say something? 272 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,103 Mm...I don't know. 273 00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:33,041 Okay, well, your father and I 274 00:10:33,109 --> 00:10:35,147 Are extremely disappointed in you. 275 00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:36,987 So go up to your room. 276 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:37,987 Go on. 277 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,225 Alex! 278 00:10:39,293 --> 00:10:40,458 We'll be up to talk to you in a minute. 279 00:10:40,526 --> 00:10:41,763 Haley! What? 280 00:10:41,832 --> 00:10:43,664 Say something! About what? 281 00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:45,670 I take it back! What is going on? 282 00:10:45,738 --> 00:10:47,475 These guys were gonna say they did it, too, 283 00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:48,943 And you were gonna be proud of all of us. 284 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,181 Why would we do that? 285 00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:51,681 I don't know what to believe with this kid. 286 00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:53,287 Liars! I didn't do it! 287 00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:55,359 Well, it wasn't me. Don't look at me. 288 00:10:55,426 --> 00:10:56,325 Seriously? 289 00:10:56,393 --> 00:10:57,931 Wait. 290 00:10:57,998 --> 00:10:59,669 Nobody did it again? 291 00:10:59,737 --> 00:11:01,737 No, that's fine. 292 00:11:01,804 --> 00:11:04,514 Guess what -- christmas is still canceled. 293 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,647 That's fine by me. 294 00:11:06,715 --> 00:11:08,987 I'll start working on next year. 295 00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:13,364 Hey, and memo to new year's eve and easter -- 296 00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:16,003 Watch your back! 297 00:11:16,071 --> 00:11:19,643 So, after I left the marines, I just kind of traveled the world. 298 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:22,348 Now I go from town to town picking up odd jobs. 299 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,320 Oh, kind of like the hulk. 300 00:11:24,388 --> 00:11:25,692 that's weird. 301 00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,763 That was my -- that was my nickname in the corps. 302 00:11:27,831 --> 00:11:30,669 'cause of my bad temper. 303 00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:33,842 Anyway, thanks for having me over 304 00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:37,047 And having me for dinner, letting me do my laundry. 305 00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:40,425 This has not been a good day. 306 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:44,531 Um, scott, I-I have a confession to make. 307 00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:46,369 Yeah? Um... 308 00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:49,308 I didn't cl-- I didn't clean the lint tray, 309 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,781 So, um, your clothes might be a little pilly. 310 00:11:51,848 --> 00:11:53,919 Oh, no problem. That's the least of my worries. 311 00:11:53,987 --> 00:11:56,892 Thanks for everything. You guys made my day. 312 00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:58,092 It's the least we could do. 313 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,864 What do you mean? 314 00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:01,537 I don't know... 315 00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,869 What I was saying. 316 00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:09,886 I-I just say we never tell him. 317 00:12:09,953 --> 00:12:13,093 Exactly. We give him some money, a hot al, laundry. 318 00:12:13,159 --> 00:12:14,565 I think we're square. 319 00:12:14,632 --> 00:12:15,697 Agreed. 320 00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:17,602 Okay, how does this thing work? 321 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,842 Yeah, I think you just press that button right there in the middle. 322 00:12:19,909 --> 00:12:21,380 Yeah. Oh, my... 323 00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:23,215 Okay, that -- well, that seems a little high, doesn't it? 324 00:12:23,282 --> 00:12:24,953 Yes. I'm not putting lily in that. 325 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,924 It's like something astronauts train in. 326 00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:28,659 y: Ho, ho, ho! It's me! Ho, ho, ho! It's me! 327 00:12:28,727 --> 00:12:29,965 Ho, ho, ho! It's me! 328 00:12:30,032 --> 00:12:31,870 It's your dad. Yeah. 329 00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,804 Hey, dad. Hi. 330 00:12:33,872 --> 00:12:35,709 Hey! I brought your presents. 331 00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:37,881 Aren't we seeing you tomorrow, jay? 332 00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:39,352 Well, these are your christmas eve gifts. 333 00:12:39,419 --> 00:12:40,453 You know the drill. Oh, yeah. 334 00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:41,521 You open those up before bedtime. 335 00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:42,726 They're pajamas. 336 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:44,364 Still keeping traditions alive. 337 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,497 Well, someone has to. 338 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,764 I got two colombians at home 339 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,904 Trying to turn christmas into cinco de mayo. 340 00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,075 You know that's mexican, right? 341 00:12:51,143 --> 00:12:52,648 Ah, burrito, bur-right-o. 342 00:12:52,715 --> 00:12:54,381 Christmas should be christmas. 343 00:12:54,448 --> 00:12:57,691 Picture on the stairs, hot chocolate, opening the presents. 344 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,292 That was supposed to be the good thing 345 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,897 About having a kid in the house again. 346 00:13:00,965 --> 00:13:02,802 I can have christmas the way we used to. 347 00:13:02,871 --> 00:13:04,875 I hear you, jay. If I was home right now, 348 00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:06,776 I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog 349 00:13:06,842 --> 00:13:08,846 And trying to squeeze a greased hog into a santa hat. 350 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:09,986 You don't think I miss that? 351 00:13:10,053 --> 00:13:12,221 Do you? 352 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:17,936 The point is that those are memories that I'll always have, 353 00:13:18,004 --> 00:13:20,307 But now I have the perfect opportunity 354 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,076 To create new memories with my new family 355 00:13:22,143 --> 00:13:23,880 That are gonna be just as special someday. 356 00:13:23,948 --> 00:13:25,147 Aww. 357 00:13:25,215 --> 00:13:26,620 Cam's right. 358 00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:28,725 We create new traditions every year. 359 00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:31,697 So...Who's ready to try the swing? 360 00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:39,781 'cause jay wants to eat 361 00:13:39,848 --> 00:13:41,853 Ay, manny. 362 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,792 Did you put this spider in the fridge? 363 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,692 Oh, yeah. Inocente. 364 00:13:45,765 --> 00:13:47,931 Oh, papi, what's wrong? 365 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:50,403 I want to have christmas like they do in colombia. 366 00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:51,942 Jay is messing everything up. 367 00:13:52,009 --> 00:13:53,714 Manny, try to understand. 368 00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:57,353 Jay has great memories with his kids when they were young. 369 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,758 And he just wants to re-create them with you. 370 00:13:59,826 --> 00:14:02,830 So, maybe the best gift I could give jay 371 00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:05,570 Would be christmas like he used to have it? 372 00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:07,842 You're such a beautiful boy. 373 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,881 One day, you're gonna grow up and I'm gonna miss 374 00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:12,119 All the things that you used to do as a little boy. 375 00:14:12,187 --> 00:14:14,658 Okay, but if this so-called santa claus 376 00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:17,330 Doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, 377 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,469 We're going to have a big problem. 378 00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:22,509 Honey? 379 00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,115 Hmm? 380 00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:27,420 Would it really be so bad to back down? 381 00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:30,025 And have the kids never take any of our threats seriously again? 382 00:14:30,092 --> 00:14:31,897 Yeah. Mm. 383 00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,808 Or the kids could realize 384 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,914 That we're making a supreme sacrifice 385 00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:43,153 By giving up our power to save their christmas. 386 00:14:43,221 --> 00:14:45,359 Which would, in a way, be the greatest gift 387 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,859 That we could ever give them. 388 00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,736 And which would paradoxically make them respect us even more. 389 00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,737 Mm... Okay, forget that. Go back one. 390 00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:53,209 Hey, guys. 391 00:14:55,182 --> 00:14:56,514 It was me. 392 00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:57,952 What? What? 393 00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,892 I found a cigarette at school, 394 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,637 And when no one was home, I...I tried it, 395 00:15:06,704 --> 00:15:11,281 And...I-I guess I held it too close to the couch. 396 00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:13,420 I'm so sorry. 397 00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,392 You can take my christmas away, 398 00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:17,692 But don't take it from everyone else. 399 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,836 That is very noble of you to care about the family, 400 00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:22,771 But you still smoked and lied. 401 00:15:22,837 --> 00:15:24,342 That's really bad. 402 00:15:24,409 --> 00:15:26,181 Now help me grab the tree. 403 00:15:26,249 --> 00:15:27,114 Phil. 404 00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:28,252 Phil. 405 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,087 Alex, come on back. 406 00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:34,898 Starting December 26th, 407 00:15:34,964 --> 00:15:36,770 You are grounded for a full week, 408 00:15:36,838 --> 00:15:38,642 And that includes new year's eve. 409 00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:40,475 But I was g-- no, nonnegotiable, so... 410 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,648 Mm. Yeah. 411 00:15:41,715 --> 00:15:43,585 Fine. 412 00:15:43,653 --> 00:15:46,257 Everybody! 413 00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:47,558 It's official! 414 00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:49,598 Christmas is back on! 415 00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:50,798 It is? What happened? 416 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,002 Doesn't matter! 417 00:15:52,071 --> 00:15:53,775 Stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath! 418 00:15:53,842 --> 00:15:54,842 Go, go, go! 419 00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:56,009 Okay! 420 00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:59,787 Um, that sounds like a stressful job to me. 421 00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,320 Mm, not as much as you'd think. 422 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:03,359 They always made sure one of us had a blank, 423 00:16:03,426 --> 00:16:05,030 So nobody knew who took the fatal shot. 424 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,504 This was mighty tasty. 425 00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:09,608 Well, I don't want to overstay my welcome 426 00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,108 Or you won't have me back. 427 00:16:12,415 --> 00:16:13,848 You guys enjoy the rest of your night. 428 00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:15,353 You're good people. 429 00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,092 Scott, wait. 430 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,130 Wait. 431 00:16:21,199 --> 00:16:22,870 Don't forget your laundry. 432 00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,608 Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Merry christmas. 433 00:16:27,114 --> 00:16:28,314 Scott, merry christmas to -- to you, too, and happy -- 434 00:16:28,381 --> 00:16:29,785 Son of a bitch! What? 435 00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:31,220 Oh, it's the new greensleevers. 436 00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:32,958 They're cameron's old caroling group. 437 00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,359 They kicked him out this year. 438 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,236 I mean, it is one thing to kick me out of the group, 439 00:16:37,304 --> 00:16:39,170 But to -- to rub my nose in it? 440 00:16:39,237 --> 00:16:40,409 I'm turning on the sprinklers. 441 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:41,842 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 442 00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:45,854 I know it feels good to get even, belve me. 443 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:49,326 To see the fear in a man's eyes is... 444 00:16:49,393 --> 00:16:53,936 But there's something that feels even better... 445 00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,142 ...Forgiveness. 446 00:16:57,209 --> 00:16:58,748 Scott, you don't understand. 447 00:16:58,815 --> 00:17:00,785 This -- this group was my "dreamgirls." 448 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,220 I was effie. 449 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:05,897 Do you know what the best thing I did all day was? 450 00:17:05,965 --> 00:17:07,969 Forgiving you for getting me fir. 451 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,341 Um... 452 00:17:23,671 --> 00:17:24,903 Andrew. 453 00:17:24,971 --> 00:17:26,641 Ensemble. 454 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:29,880 I know it's no accident 455 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,653 That you're here on my street tonight. 456 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,291 And I... 457 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:39,670 I just wanted to say to you all that you sound great. 458 00:17:39,737 --> 00:17:42,809 And...Merry christmas. 459 00:17:42,876 --> 00:17:44,614 Wow. 460 00:17:44,682 --> 00:17:46,653 Even your apology is off-key. 461 00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,386 Not cool, buddy. 462 00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,092 Ooh! Ooh! 463 00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:56,336 But -- but -- but what about -- what about forgiveness? 464 00:17:56,404 --> 00:17:58,509 You were nice. He was naughty. 465 00:18:03,988 --> 00:18:05,792 Where were you for so long? 466 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,164 Just a little last-minute shopping. 467 00:18:07,231 --> 00:18:08,597 What's this? 468 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:09,703 Buñuelos. 469 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,671 Who? What? Cheese fritters. 470 00:18:11,737 --> 00:18:13,708 It's a colombian traditional christmas food. 471 00:18:13,777 --> 00:18:15,148 Okay, new rule. 472 00:18:15,214 --> 00:18:18,353 From now on, we do colombian things when we're in colombia. 473 00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,858 We do american things when we're in america. 474 00:18:20,926 --> 00:18:23,831 That means no more of your food, no more of your music, 475 00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:26,536 And especially no more of your crazy holidays! 476 00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:31,047 Inocente! 477 00:18:31,115 --> 00:18:33,252 Jay! What? Did I say it wrong? 478 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,991 You two are total inocentes. 479 00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:36,658 You should see the look on your faces. 480 00:18:36,726 --> 00:18:39,131 And by the way, you know how hard it is to get fireworks 481 00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:40,636 On christmas eve? 482 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,174 go, manny. 483 00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:44,742 Thank you. 484 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,690 And here's another one for luke. looks like a book. 485 00:18:49,658 --> 00:18:51,794 I have a book already. 486 00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,033 What is that? 487 00:18:53,101 --> 00:18:55,406 Oh, my god. The couch is smoking. 488 00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:57,806 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa-ho-ho. 489 00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:01,851 It's sunlight. 490 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,757 It's the ornament. 491 00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:04,922 Cool. 492 00:19:04,991 --> 00:19:06,194 It's like a magnifying glass. 493 00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:08,666 Hey, how weird is that? 494 00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:10,667 It's burning a hole in the exact same spot 495 00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,407 That alex was smoking in. 496 00:19:12,473 --> 00:19:14,111 Oh, haley. 497 00:19:14,179 --> 00:19:16,551 Alex, why'd you take the blame? 498 00:19:16,619 --> 00:19:19,424 I didn't want to lose christmas. 499 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,461 That is so stinking beautul. 500 00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:24,767 Get in here. 501 00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:25,735 No. Yes. 502 00:19:25,803 --> 00:19:27,040 Oh, no. Yes.In here. 503 00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:28,273 Oh, yeah! 504 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,279 Bear hug! 505 00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:33,584 You were going to take christmas away 506 00:19:33,652 --> 00:19:35,189 For something that none of us did. 507 00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:36,662 Well, um... 508 00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:39,601 Christmas is about moving forward. 509 00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:40,967 I've never heard that. 510 00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:42,474 Actually, honey, you did kind of shoot your mouth off. 511 00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,078 You called us all liars. 512 00:19:44,145 --> 00:19:46,178 Yeah, and then you took away the biggest holiday... 513 00:19:46,247 --> 00:19:47,551 Yeah, you did. I don't know. 514 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,655 Let's -- let's not all get worked up. 515 00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,927 I made a mistake. 516 00:19:51,996 --> 00:19:53,262 I made a mistake. 517 00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:56,502 And people make mistakes. 518 00:19:56,569 --> 00:20:00,777 And they make up for those mistakes... 519 00:20:00,845 --> 00:20:02,149 Mm-hmm. 520 00:20:02,218 --> 00:20:06,990 ...By taking their family to Italy! 521 00:20:07,062 --> 00:20:08,362 Oh, my god! 522 00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:09,363 Yeah! 523 00:20:09,429 --> 00:20:12,067 Yeah! 524 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,806 Yeah! Aah! 525 00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:22,023 We talk a lot about tradition this time of year. 526 00:20:22,091 --> 00:20:24,663 But as much as we love our traditions, 527 00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,100 Sometimes our best memories 528 00:20:26,168 --> 00:20:29,973 Come from the times that are the most untraditional. 529 00:20:33,885 --> 00:20:37,524 We remember the year mom and dad went crazy. 530 00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:41,867 We remember the year santa punched out the caroler. 531 00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:48,718 But for me, this was the year that the word "tradition" 532 00:20:48,784 --> 00:20:50,484 Got a lot bigger. 533 00:21:02,312 --> 00:21:03,816 There's cam. 534 00:21:19,918 --> 00:21:22,423 Aah! Oh, you did it again. 535 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,429 You got me again. 37762