Original subtitles

Ciao!

Well... did you manage to sell anything?

Enjoy your meal.

I have an idea...

When you get an idea, there's always something going on!

In fact there is... you're making me hungry!

That doesn't help, my love. I'm just a failure.

You, a failure? If all men could be like you ...

Perhaps in looks, but that hasn't helped my work.

- What do you mean? - You only think about sex, baby.

I'm talking about painting, my dear.

What good is it to paint pictures if no one buys them!

There are artists who paint only to sell ...

... to sell any kind of shit!

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN BRUSH

- Hello, Eros! - What's this, are you the last Nazi?

- I'm protesting! - Then you need to protest correctly!

No, no, let me protest my way!

The word 'shit' is good, but not 'Nazi'.

You're why I never have any fun.

- Do you have any money? - Haven't you sold any paintings?

No, the kind I paint don't sell.

If you're looking for someone who'll spend some of their wealth on your paintings....

- ...do you know that guy? - No.

Who's this I see? Hello, Mr. Roger!

- Who are you? - What? We met in the sauna!

Strange to have forgotten a guy like you!

I'd like to introduce you to a young painter.

- Painting is my passion. - Then come, he's waiting!

It's a unique opportunity. The consul can acquire some stunning new paintings...

...for just a little bread. He has a brush that sings!

I can hardly bear to think about it!

I think I did it. I praised the quality of your brush.

- You don't understand anything. - What don't I understand?

Don't worry about it. The important thing is that I do.

- You're useless. - Let me take care of everything.

- Good morning! - Good morning, madam!

Mr. Consul, your wife wished you good morning!

- Good morning, darling! - Good morning, Aida!

- Did you know the mark has dropped again? - I'm so out of touch!

- Why are you so excited, Roger? - Sorry!

I met a young painter who looked like a revelation. I'd like to introduce you.

- Where is he? - Here!

- No! Right here in our house? - Yes.

He's waiting in the violet room, with the humility required before being received.

- I can't wait to meet him. - You'll love him, I'm sure!

It's not important if I like him, it's important that he like me!

- Bring him here! - With pleasure, madam!

Mr. Consul, madam, my compliments! I'm pleased to...

- That's him? - No, there's another coming...

I'm his friend... you misunderstood.

At times like this, words are weighed in heaven.

Now, allow me to introduce my friend!

He's a true genius! Smile, you idiot!

- Apparently he's unhappy. - What's your name?

Archibaldo Spadafora!

- Really? - Yes.

You hope to become famous with a name like that?

Why not? I would say that's quite interesting.

Maybe it's destiny! It's a name that stimulates the imagination!

And how do you hope to gain access to other circles, my dear?

- Where? - In high society.

What interest do I have in those bloated wind bags?

Soon, we'll show everyone our ass.

So, you're a genuine protestor!

Exactly!

And my protest is against people like you!

What's gotten into you, asshole?

Soon everyone will see how you suck the blood from our country!

Parasites, old mummies ...

I'm mortified! I beg you to forgive me!

Why was he so angry? We tried to be nice!

Or maybe not? Even so, I don't want to waste my money ...

...helping such an insolent person who behaves like that.

Nowadays, you can't be sure about artists.

Things can happen in their lives.

Today, their paintings may not cost much...

... but if one day they become famous, I'll have made a good deal.

A worthwhile investment.

I'm not interested in his politics, I'm interested in the man!

- What man? - Spadafora, darling!

- How do you know he's a real artist? - Do I look stupid?

... two, three, four ...

... and five!

- You like it? - No.

Just a moment, it's missing the best part!

Just so! Great! Ballistic painting! Here...

A real challenge for the painter! Do you know what ballistic curves are?

- Yes. I have one here. - You're spot on!

That's why you're my best friend and the muse who inspires me!

- Hello, painter! How are you? - Work, work ...

Did you hear that? He said that he's working ...

Give me a phrase that rhymes with toil.

Many little fish toil for their tummies, and I ... do nothing!

- That was for my girlfriend. - Yes, that rhymes with toil!

- Won't someone give me a drink? - Here you go...

You're my savior! Thank you! I'm dry with thirst.

- Have some... ? - What do I do with them?

- Guess... - I guess there's only one thing... eat them!

Some vitamins would do you good, darling.

What do you mean? I don't need vitamins to do my duty!

Maybe his new girlfriend is one who's satisfied with less.

You mind your own business, and I'll take care care of my vitamins!

- Was that a tomato? - No, it's paint.

- And we're painting! - You're both crazy!

Certainly not! Give me a drink.

Sorry! Good evening!

This is an important man!

Who's that?

Your attention! Allow me to introduce Max Laponi Jr., the famous art dealer.

Yes... now I remember. He owns the Laponi Gallery.

- The same! - It's an honor to have you with us.

Good evening!

Hi...

My pleasure.

Want to see one?

- Greetings. - May I ... ?

It's good, right?

Perhaps this one? Or not ... ?

There are paintings for every taste. You're sure to find one that you like!

It's best that you look around before you decide.

- This one's nice, I'll give you 500 marks. - It's a deal, 500 marks!

For that?

To tell you the truth, it wasn't for sale, but just this once I'll make an exception.

Thank you!

The painting's for your gallery?

- Goodbye! See you tomorrow! - Goodbye!

He must be crazy! 500 marks for that canvas!

What a hit!

We can finally eat!

For that kind of money, I'd like to give him something more.

No! Don't touch it, let him think it's ...

I'll demonstrate how a brilliant painter completes a work of art!

Now you'll see a demonstration of genius at work.

No, the piece isn't ready for delivery. It needs a bit longer for some finishing touches.

One here, one there... like so...

...and, voila!

Fantastic! You're an artist with your brush ...

- Yes ... just ask Gioia! - Stupendous!

Yes, I know! I'll be specializing in this kind of painting.

Sign everything!

My signature!

And now to the gallery! Hail to the night! Hail!

Look at this! Just a lot of artwork for squares!

For ordinary people. Nothing to compete with this!

Anyone in there?

Don't go, baby! I love you so much ...

Did you hear someone?

- I've got to go to work ... - Come on, Max, you're so cruel!

Good evening! I hope you haven't been waiting long!

What do you want?

- You know what I want, darling! - I'm sorry, I have no time for love!

- I don't care! - I have customers, but I'll be thinking of you, baby!

I need to rest, I'm not a machine.

- You're mean... - I can't! You're a tigeress, a vampire!

What can I do for you?

- What's with that girl? - She's always like that!

It isn't funny! You have no idea what I'm going through!

What that woman requires... Sometimes I think she's a bit crazy.

Do you need a hand?

Maxi... you'll see what happens if you don't come here right now.

Don't you understand there are people out there? Can't you control yourself for a little while?

- That was an antique ... - Thank you! And I'm quickly becoming one.

What do you want from me, since I see that you're not leaving?

I brought the painting that you chose. I just filled in a few details!

This piece of crap? What am I supposed to do with it?

- Do I look like a moron? - But you promised me...

I don't recall making any promises, but I'll make you a deal.

You'll receive 500 marks on a regular basis.

As for you, I'll keep a promise that I never made.

- Here you are! - Thank you!

I'll take your painting ...

... provided you take a load off my chest!

- What's that? - That woman!

She's obsessive! She'll ruin my nerves!

What is it? What do you want now?

- Without you I feel so alone! - All she ever wants to do is make love.

I never imagined there could be such a demanding woman!

I can't go on making love to her forever! You understand I'm no longer a young man?

If you take her with you, I'll take your painting.

A beautiful girl, 500 marks... a good deal!

Yes, a good deal for me, but what if the girl is unwilling?

- Yes, what if she says no? - That girl has never said 'no'!

I'll lay it on the line. You're not worth much as a painter.

But as a man, you'll understand at first sight.

I can picture you and her. Can you imagine a woman like that...

- Alright! I accept your offer. - Yes, really?

You saved my life! I'll be grateful to you forever.

I'm coming, for the last time!

Try to understand, my love. At my age I can no longer do battle ...

- ... but I found you a young warrior! - For me?

- If you need help, I'll lend a hand! - Just a moment ...

She just has to put on her shoes. I'm sure you'll like him.

He looks promising. He's one of those who loves his work!

I've always envied people like that,...

... even if they don't put as much soul into their work as I do.

Fortunately, you have no bags to pack. I wish you happiness with your new friend!

Don't devour him too quickly! Ciao!

- Who's the lucky guy? - The honor is mine!

Is that how you present yourself, my treasure? Dressed like that?

In the event that you have to get out of bed ...

- It could happen, right? - Yes, I agree.

I'll give you a monthly scholarship grant so you can you make a living ...

- Miss, don't you have any other clothes? - I don't need any!

She won't leave the bed... you understand?

It's been a pleasure! Remember, I never forced you to work under me!

- Don't forget me! Ciao! - Ciao!

I can't wait to get to know you.

I had to give you up for your own happiness.

Goodbye! Don't forget my scholarship grant!

Her health depends on you!

Think of us when you need to get rid of any others like her!

Now, my lovely new angel!

I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long, my girl!

Just put you lovely little bottom right here, my dear!

What a lucky chair!

You have an honest face, it's a rare gift.

What can you do?

Make sounds.

With the cello?

You're so different from other girls.

- Do you have a name? - Brunhilde.

I can change that! And I would also change the instrument, with one that's more entertaining!

You understand me, don't you?

Greetings! This is my quiet little studio where works of art are born.

- Greetings, painter! - Where did you find this puppet?

I got her in exchange for one of my paintings.

- What, did you give up on the 500 marks? - Oh no, look here!

Take a good look, because you won't see it again.

Good! Now we can eat!

Here, get to know your competition!

- Hi! My name is Luiza! - I'm Gioia!

A good name for this whole scene!

After I've slept I'll sober up, and can properly welcome you...

- What do we do with all that money? - Hey, how are you?

- Buy whiskey! - Don't do anything with it.

- Remember that I'm his manager. - Yes, you have the advantage of better brains!

Right now, the important thing is to fill our bellies. Go get some food!

- And don't be gone for hours, eh! - Don't worry!

Now you'll witness the birth of a new school of painting.

The world will be amazed! It's an unprecedented method of painting.

Using, among other things, group participation and many colors.

You and I are the first and only witnesses of this birth.

In life, the brush is a man's main tool - the same for an artist.

A painter without a brush wouldn't be a painter.

- Dip the brush in the paint ... - And where will you put it?

Don't worry my dear, I won't hurt you.

Lithography, engraving, screen printing are all dead!

This will be the era of butt-printing!

It's collosal! A painting made with a human brush.

Come on girls, let's give it a try!

Art is created spontaneously, by every part of the body!

A work of love ... two more strokes.

You're looking at the completed work!

Quiet! I just had a vision!

Eva, come here! Quickly!

If not, I'll lose my inspiration.

It was an exceptional idea. I'll become a famous painter!

Give it here! Thank you!

Nothing to it...

What's going on here?

Just one moment. Then it will be perfect!

And now, one last pass through the printing machine!

I've had it with you! You haven't paid a dime for months!

- I'd like to know ... - We're artists.

Now you're allowing orgies! And just look at the floor!

You've gotten too wild! I've warned you!

You need to leave this house immediately!

That was always a respectable house, I've never seen such a spectacle!

Don't get so up tight, my dear lady! What's so important about a little rent money?

Money can't buy happiness! If you insist, I'll pay the rent on the first.

- But you don't have a dime! - I will, as soon as I sell this painting.

Then you may wait a century ...

These paintings are all original works of art, madam!

My lawyer needs to see how you make these works of art!

You want me to believe that a canvas smeared like that ...

... can be sold for real money!

- I deal with selling them. - Who are you?

I'm Luiza! My uncle is not only rich, but owns an art gallery.

I don't care if your uncle has money or not, he's probably just like you!

I'm willing to give you one of the paintings.

Think about how much it'll be worth when I'm famous!

It's no use trying to take me in me with all your talk ...

Don't you understand that your beauty has captured the soul of an artist ...

- ... for whom beauty has become ordinary? - Just a moment, we need to talk... about the rent!

- The time is coming when all will see the truth! - What shall I do with your painting?

Farewell!

Bravo!

You saw how I handled that? I'm a genius!

- Excuse me! - What is it, madam!

I'm glad that I caught you. I have to tell you something important.

Two hours ago I went up there and I warned them all.

No more! You haven't paid the rent in 14 months!

I won't let you stay here another minute unless you pay.

You shouldn't be so impulsive, ma'am. Is there anything I can do?

What could you do? You could pay off the rent by working for me.

I don't know how to do anything. I've never worked.

Come in for an example of what I want! It's easy... I'm not hard to please!

Will you at least try... my young friend?

- I guess I could try. - We can't do it here on the stairs.

- I can't do that... please! - Come into my house ...

- It will be a wonderful experience. - I have other work to do. It's quite urgent ...

- Goodbye! - Oh... go to hell!

- Hello! It's a miracle ... - You're finally back!

That's all you bought?

I had to pay our debts: the butcher, baker, milkman ...

492.40 marks!

- So we have to share a salami? - Unfortunately ...

Where are Archibaldo and Luiza?

They went for a walk. Just like Lara and Yuri Zhivago.

Zhivago? Who's that? Another uncle of hers?

- You haven't seen the movie? - The famous Dr. Zhivago ...

- What's that? - You don't know?

I'm sorry, I didn't read it. I don't think anyone read it.

Yuri, I love you...

You can't go.

Don't leave me.

I can't live without you.

- Stay with me! - How can you understand, my little one ... !

The steppes are calling me, but the cold would swallow you up!

Amen... !

- I need to get away ... - No ...

I'll cross Russia by train, by sled, on foot ...

Yuri...

I'm ready to go, even if I lose my life when thrown from the sled ...

... into the snow. Goodbye!

I hope the water's not deep. I don't know to swim!

Yuri...

Lara! Lara! Be happy without me, enjoy yourself!

My heart beats only for you, as long as I have life!

Goodbye! Don't forget me ... !

Think of me always.

I not only lost my heart ... I lost my hat!

- Yuri! - I knew they were crazy!

Snow is my way... the hard way!

I'm with you again, my love!

- Russia is immense... - Whatever you say, darling!

- You are my heart ... - I'm happy with the pact we've made.

- Do you have any regrets? - Lara ...

These modern youth... !

They think they're the ones who discovered love!

I have to be honest. I like you very much!

I'm quite tired from the trip, Doctor Zhivago! Do you mind if I take your arm?

An excellent idea!

Your doctor will make a special house call.

I hope you discover what's ailing me ... Doctor!

My love!

What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen two people making love?

- I didn't know that's what it was! - I thought it was a comedy.

Don't make that sad face, please!

This is no time to argue. I think I stumbled into a gold mine.

A guy who makes detergents ... Well, insecticides!

Someone who lives off after other people's dirt.

As if you ever washed.

He had invested money in a film production.

And of course he's interested in an actress.

- You can help us! - How can I help? What can I do?

- I was thinking of Luiza. - What does Luiza have to do with detergents?

If Luiza went to work for him, she might ask...

... if he'd consider financing an exhibition.

Would you be willing, Luiza? Tell me the truth!

Why not?

Then I'll arrange the deal immediately.

- But I'm not willing to let her go! - You're a party pooper!

- Do you want to do it, Gioia? - I think that he has something against me!

But someone in the family has to make some bread!

You're a treasure!

But I can't use the clothes I own.

No problem, a good manager always has something for emergencies.

- Where's this famous painter of yours? - Don't lose patience!

He'll be here any minute. And don't forget, this is in your interest!

Yes... let's not forget my interests!

If the one you provide... ah... meets my needs...

- ...then I'll finance the exhibition! - You'll like her, and she'll meet your needs.

Let's hope so.

Ah, you're finally here! Ciao!

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir!

I suppose my friend told you that I'm having a party at my studio.

It will give you a chance to take a look at my paintings.

- You'd see some good examples of my work! - I need to speak with you in private.

- Okay! Go dance with Gioia! - Fine... come on, Gioia!

I'm not interested in your paintings, but I'll finance the exhibition if you'll make a deal.

- I'm interested in the blonde! - The blonde... she's out of the question!

- Take the brunette! - I can't get it up with brunettes.

This one's an exception, she could raise the dead!

Quiet, you idiot! She's an artist. An artist in every sense...

...who specializes in desperate cases like yours.

- You'll be quite satisfied! - Without a doubt?

- Alright. - I guarantee it!

Now listen to me... hold on there!

Here's a thousand... but you only get half up front.

If all goes well, tomorrow morning you'll get the other half.

And if something goes wrong that's my fault, I'll give you the money anyway.

- What would be your fault? - Like I couldn't get it up with a brunette...

I see. On the other hand ...

- ... if it isn't your fault? - Then you'll get nothing.

- Just so we're clear! - Of course.

- Luiza, where's Gioia? - Gioia's at the bar.

Tell her to come here, please! Luiza! Come here!

Time to go to work, Gioia!

- She's a very beautiful girl. - Yes, but not everyone has the same tastes.

- What's your name? - My name is Gioia!

Hopefully you'll live up to your name.

Hopefully ...

My dear friend, she has earned that name!

- You're leaving with him? - Yes, of course!

Of course. I just need to pay for our drinks.

If that's enough, you can keep the rest.

Now, let's go have a drink at home!

Let's go...

I hope you have an easy night's work!

Thank you!

I'm a little worried, I don't trust that guy!

You should take a taxi to see where they go.

If he does anything to her, I'll tear him to pieces!

No! Gioia knows how to defend herself.

Anyway, you should go!

Thank you for not sending me!

You shouldn't even joke about that. To me, you're different.

- What's this for? - For the blonde.

- She's not a natural blonde! - It doesn't matter!

Anyway, it'd be too dangerous. You might have problems with the law. She isn't 16.

What do I care?

Alright, just between us, she's my wife, and I'm her husband.

What's the difference? I'm okay with all of that!

- Not bad! - She's a new discovery!

I'm unimpressed! I prefer a girl like you.

Let's go!

I like her...

- For starters a little champagne, dear? - Please...

- I'm pleased that you're here! - Even if I'm a brunette?

One more reason to be pleased!

- May I take your photo? - Please!

I have it right here, my love.

That's it.

Thank you.

It's still wet.

Let's get another of you.

How about something a little different?

Yes!

Ready!

Good!

Let's see how that came out!

Very good... Oh, my Gioia, you're a gem!

Go for the pussy...

He flies at the pussy ...

What kind of animal are you? You're a tiger!

But I'm a ...

What skill! Fabulous... !

This is... this is the best night of my life.

Where are you, Gioia? There you are ...

I throw myself... at your feet!

I've never seen such a thing. A woman with four breasts... fabulous!

You know...

You know, I'm so unhappy.

I feel so old fashioned.

- I think I love you! - What makes you unhappy ...

... makes me very happy!

You're so beautiful... and I love you.

That was wicked! Come here!

Good evening! I hope I'm not bothering you!

Certainly not! I'm glad to see you! We were just going to sleep.

I think someone has bad intentions!

Left, 2, 3. Left, 2, 3, 4 ...

My feet hurt, 2, 3, 4...

It's not possible! Look at those two fools!

Count Spuler and his butler always run together.

Maybe it gives them stamina.

- Where was I? - Left.

- It's hot today, isn't it? - I can't go on, Roger!

The Consul is all done!

Give me some tea, Roger!

Your tea, sir! It will cool you down, drink up!

I'm sympathetic to your effort, and will always be the stone wall you can lean on!

- Get serious, Roger! - I am the most serious butler in the world.

Those two need to be put behind walls!

- Shall we continue our run? - 1, 2, hop! 1, 2, faster ... !

1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2... and some more!

I run in circles, as big as the world.

The world is big and round, and melts away my girth...

- Breathing hard, Mr. Consul? - Not anymore.

- Then let's go back to our little house! - Where? I thought it was only a dream!

When the time comes, I'll need them for publicity.

They know the society idiots that can pay.

It's the dragon's own fault.

Hey, my friend! What are you doing?

Looking for the other half of the bank note.

- Bank note of my heart ... - Who was that brunette?

Francesca, Dolores ... No! She's called Gioia. Now I remember.

If she doesn't appear immediately, you'll get nothing... nothing... nothing!

Okay, I'll call her right now.

If you think you can make a fool of me you're quite wrong!

That never occurred to me!

She'll be here in five minutes. Good night.

- I didn't do anything! - Don't even try ...

You're shameless!

- Do you have a bathtub? - Why, do I need a bath?

No. I just thought you'd like to try this bubble bath. It's the best in the world.

It's my lastest creation!

Atomized, perfumed and homogenized with a secret aphrodisiac ingredient.

I'll give you this bottle as a gift. If you use it regularly, you will feel renewed day after day!

You'll feel like Apollo, Superman, Mister Universe... and you'll be successful in life!

That could be a problem, Mr. Quetsch.

I'm afraid if I use it too often...

...I may lose my universal appeal.

Washing must never cleanse us completely.

I have to maintain those aspects of my appearance...

...that are shared by all prominent protesters.

I'll let them know about your situation. You're absolutely right.

I'd like to show you I'm a man of my word. Just a moment!

I always said you were a man who of great virtue.

Here's the other half of the bank note you're looking for...

...since the person it's for will soon be here. I keep my promises.

Thank you! I'll keep my part of the bargain!

- Morning... - Good morning!

So, then... has your temperature gone down since last night?

This morning I'll put the thermometer in your mouth! Like so!

- Why? Where did I put it before now? - You know...

Unfortunately, I think it's a waste of time taking his temperature!

It's always a good day when you can see the morning! You're off to a good start!

Thank you very much! Have a nice day!

Your miniskirt is too short for a nurse.

- You think so? In front or behind? - In front ...

Although you might lengthen the back a little, too. Ciao!

- Call me if you need help. - Okay.

I'm ready for the treatment. Are you prepared?

- I hope that you're not going to hurt me! - No, no, no, no ...

The doctor ordered you to rest!

All you have to do is look at me, and my temperature shoots to the stars.

Incredible! What a strong woman!

- Come in. - Thank you.

Enough with the painting. Let me give you the original.

We're lucky today. There's no one else in the house!

Oh, my love...

- Look at all the white foam! - Who's there?

I don't understand! I didn't hear anyone earlier.

What are you doing in there? Since when did you start taking bathes?

Are you crazy? Get out of that tub right now!

I'm so glad!

And I'm so dirty!

How was I to know everyone had gone crazy around here?

Come here!

Now I'll pour in the rest of bottle!

You get out of there!

What a bath! All that foam! Look at it! Look at it!

That shampoo is fantastic! It could wash the whole house!

Hello! What an honor!

- Doctor! - Hello.

How about this new genius I've discovered? You agree it's the work of a genius?

No doubt, he's a genius! A genius of horror!

A spiritualist! My respects!

No, not now! Who knows what people will think!

What an honor, Mr. Consul! Do you like our exhibition?

Yes, it's very interesting! Who is the master with the brush?

Archibaldo Spadafora... he's very gifted.

What I'm most interested in... Now, what were we saying?

Oh, yes. I bought two pieces for the University...

...to provide the student protestors...

- Excuse me! - Of course!

I did everything I could to encourage this young painter...

...and I'm happy to say that he has succeeded very well.

My respects! I'm happy to see you here!

Asshole! Where have you been hiding this painter?

I don't understand it, but many people have had a chilly reaction to his paintings.

- Really? - Why?

- What did you expect? - What about you? You need a light?

- It's hard to understand art. - My treasure ...

What are you doing, Virginia? Please!

- Let's do it, baby... - What are you looking for in there?

- What are you looking for? - Your golden pistol!

My golden pistol? Oh, that!

Oh! Here's the master ... !

It won't surprise you to hear me say that my paintings are better...

...than the best work of any of my colleagues.

- We welcome you, Master! - Thank you, but that's enough!

First, you have to admit that you understand nothing about art...

...to give yourself any chance of understanding my work.

- I am unique in this art form! - You shouldn't speak to the public!

You'll soon realize that my art is the wave of the future.

The artist never speaks at his exhibition.

At this point, my staff will come among you.

Now, since my time is valuable, you may generously applaud!

- This guy is crazy! - No! He's more modern than the modern artists!

- My paintings are works of genius! - I get the impression that you're exaggerating.

- This collection is preposterous! - Because it's a bunch of dribbles?

They tell me that my paintings are acts of protest!

- And we will protest! - We will protest everywhere!

And just who are you?

- We protest against everything! - Have you lost your mind?

I'd be very pleased if you'd clarify your thoughts!

- We want to delve into your ideas! - I like your shapes, master!

Such as... ?

That boy will be successful, I don't doubt it!

Why don't you give us an example of what you're protesting against?

My paintings are a protest against the violent world they represent, madam.

I don't see that in your paintings!

In other words, you're against everything that exists!

We, we, we protest! We, we, we contest!

We, we, we destroy! We, we, we want nothing!

We, we turn the world upside down! We, we, we protest!

- We, we, we protest! - Quiet!

Let the Master speak!

I think I'm surrounded by frozen brains from the previous century!

How can you insult us after we've honored you with our presence?

That's just how he speaks. He's not the peasant he appears to be!

Now you understand, gentlemen!

In fact the great master and I take issue with men like that.

It seems that he remains bound to the ordinary world of bourgeois tradition.

We, we, we protest! We, we, we protest!

There! I expected something like this!

This is the height of impudence!

My beautiful lady...

We, we, we protest! We, we, we overturn the world!

This is truth!

Mr. Spadafora! Do you realize that you're... ?

- Hello! - Get this on tape!

Now what do you have to say, madam? Have I made myself clear?

What other artist would have put on such a public exhibition of this subject?

Tomorrow you'll read about it in the papers!

- Artist protests in the nude! - The scandal of the painter with the golden brush!

The extraordinary case of the artist naked from head to toe!

Exposing his brush of gold ... in every detail!

See what's happening in the world today!

- How did the sale go? - We sold almost everything.

Read all about the scandal of the golden paintbrush!

Archibaldo Spadafora ... and his golden paintbrush!

Archibaldo Spadafora attracts women to modern art!

Naked as the day he was born!

Painter argues that clothing belongs to a lost world...

...or a world in transformation, as we say today.

Moreover, they should be given up forever.

For this reason, the artist decided to appear in the nude...

...in front of a traditional audience...

...who didn't know how to behave when confronted with such a spectacle!

As he left the room, protesters ...

...threatened to assume the role of the departed painter.

Needless to say, such a protest would merely have been a pretext...

...for more sexuality and exhibitionism.

And of course, most of high society was present!

Alberto, you imbecile!

You've been completely remiss! Why didn't we go to the exhibition?

How is such a thing possible? We don't know what's happening in the world!

Mr. Consul, if you saw what I have seen, you would have passed out!

You're always there when something important happens.

Yes, and you never know when something important is about to happen!

You see, madam ... Oh! Why the horns?

He was like a bull!

What comparisons you do make! But don't change the subject, stick to painting!

We have time to buy a painting. So let's not rush in, following the fad.

That way, we'll be sure not to make the mistake of committing too soon.

Yes, but in the meantime, most of them leave thrilled by a painter named Spadafora...

...taking an example of his protest work...

...hoping that someone like me is going to buy his paintings!

Risking the investment of all my capital!

Which you have earned with the sweat of your brow, and on which depends the existence of us all!

Of course! Roger is right!

If the painter is a protester, and I have a feeling that he is...

- ...it's better not to deal with him... - I wouldn't mind.

...or buy his paintings. He'll take your money, then it's, "see you around"!

Hello, this is the home of Consul Spuler!

This is the Laponi Gallery. I'd like to speak to the consul!

Please speak up, there's a large crowd ...

One moment, please!

Is that for me?

It's the Laponi Gallery, it seems it's very urgent.

Get out the way!

Hello. Yes! It is I.

Hello! As I said, there's a lot of commotion.

Yes, my gallery has 40 years of success and this young Spadafora ...

Hello! This is princess Soraia! How's your mother?

What's this? This Spadafora attracts royalty? It's a phenomenon!

What are you going on about?

Let me talk! It's the madam here! No, his wife!

Countess Fustenberg is also here!

Yes? It's an enchanting evening!

Let's get specific! How much do they cost?

It's priceless artwork, but in the range of 10.000 to 20.000 marks.

Then I'll offer 50.000 to beat the competition!

- I bid 60,000. - 70,000, and that's final!

80.000 from me, and that's it!

I appreciate that, but there are so many sytles to choose from...

- What's this gallery coming to? Go get dressed! - Yes, you know everyone here ...

How so? Who are they?

- This was for you, Mr. Consul! - Thank you.

- We'll be there! - You'd better hurry!

I don't know if I can hold back the other buyers!

I'm practically overwhelmed! Listen to them!

Give me the phone!

- Then save me some paintings! - Very well, Mr. Consul!

The most colorful painting will be yours!

How can you conduct personal business in my gallery?

- Bring me the phone book! - I wish you would...

I'm calling all the big fish in town.

Here's the number of the asylum!

Come on! Settle down! You don't understand anything ...

I'll invite whom I want.

You'll see what happens!

There'll be an earthquake tonight!

- I can't go on like this! - This is the Laponi Gallery!

We'd like to extend an invitation. Please, knock it off!

I wasn't talking to you! We're presenting a young painter ...

Garters are loose, but no time for them ...

You can't afford to spend more than 100,000 marks.

- You understand, Alberto? - Yes!

Look... I'm putting the money here in your right pocket, Alberto.

Yes, yes! That's where I usually carry it.

- Put your coat on! - I'll wear it over my shoulders.

I'm afraid with the coat on his shoulders, he'll never know if it goes missing!

We're going to lose out on the paintings!

I was here first!

Yes, but I've already given him money ...

I'm prepared to pay more than anyone else ...

I make it that you got in first!

No! This is the one I wanted, it goes with my wallpaper ...

God in Heaven! I knew this crazy painter would be an enormous catastrophe ...

I can't believe it! 200.000 marks!

What did I tell you? Have you ever had such success in this little gallery?

Do you still think it's a catastrophe?

- But now I'm done with all this! - No!

I dreamed of this my whole life. And now I don't know what to do with the money!

I just need to go to the country and rest. Let go of me!

- Are you crazy, don't leave! - Let me go!

Don't leave! We're off to a good start, and we'll continue to work like a machine ...

I'll come up with new ideas for paintings that sell.

And what am I to do?

Roger! Take the money, that's all I have!

Let's go!

I took two ... don't you have any more?

Ladies and gentlemen, our city didn't want to host...

...or promote an international film festival...

...or a biennial festival, telling us this so-called world cinema...

...and its critics would corrupt and manipulate our film industry.

You know it's no wonder European cinema is passing us by.

This is one of today's most frightening crises!

And I alone, in the midst of this crisis, have found the true solution.

And what have I invented? Le cinema verite!

The genuine cinema of truth!

- The Cinema of Touch! - The idea holds promise!

Touch... the substance of this idea!

There will be no dissatisfied spectators, threatening producers ...

...or distributors looking for their money!

At last, direct contact is made between the actors and their audience...

...convincing our customers to become part of the cinema experience.

The first show of is about to start, although it is unsuitable for the young ...

...or those who suffer from heart or serious nervous conditions.

- What kind of the movie is it? - It's a German western!

2.50 marks for a handful of meat!

Exciting! Very exciting!

- Can I try? - Of course!

Admission is 2.50 marks. Here are two fine actresses!

You have to give it a try! Please!

They're both very nice!

- A pair of true artists! - Can you believe this ...

We're also about to start the first show of our program especially for the ladies.

Something for me? Something special?

No doubt!

- I'm sure you'll like it. - I'm curious to try.

What we offer is hidden in the box!

- There's nothing there! - Sorry about that!

Here you go, ladies and gentlemen!

I'm from the press. I'd like to ask you a few questions.

We've abandoned the past, and are a part of the big movement...

...led by the great protest painter, Spadafora!

- What is your name? - My name is Eros.

- I am the producer! - Could I have press access?

Of course! You don't want to pay, do you?

That's all right! The press is always welcome, since they can give us good publicity.

- What would you like see? - Something romantic, old fashioned.

We have, for example, Brunhilde's nights without pajamas.

The first night.

- What a night! She won't let you sleep! - A classic of our cinema!

You never lose your taste for this kind of film.

- Hi! How's it going? - Hello, Arcibaldo.

- How's business? - I'm not complaining.

It's the best location, so you'll enjoy the success you rightly deserve!

Hopefully!

- Let's see what the law has to say! - What are you doing here?

Nothing bad, Mr. Policeman!

Explain to me what you're doing!

I hope there's nothing concealed in those boxes!

- What, what? - I'll check this out myself.

We have nothing to hide. You can relax ...

Don't try being clever, or you'll be sorry!

I'm not being at all clever. Come, I'll show you myself.

For the police, free admission. Try it. It won't bite ...

- Insert only my hands? - Yes, unfortunately ...

You like it?

Everything appears to be in order. There are no tricks!

- How's this one? - Well... isn't she missing something?

- A thousand thanks. Thank you. - And we thank you.

- Come back any time. - Thanks!

- Okay? - Okay!

What's your latest idea?

- Don't disturb the artist! - Isn't it a bit gray?

Just look around! We sold everything, and I don't have time to paint new ones to replace them.

Nobody will understand the meaning of these circles, just that they're hand painted.

I believe you! The public will buy something calming like this.

- Of course! - Not bad!

Always something new to offer.

- What are you going to call this? - I call it Spiralism!

The stranger the name the better.

And that one's finished! Missing only your signature.

Agreed! If anyone wants it, it'll be on display in the Gallery of Modern Art.

These are fresh flowers! They'll make a beautiful bouquet, ma'am.

Thank you. I don't mind the cost.

They're for my sister's birthday today.

These are beautiful. Miss Genoveta! Miss Genoveta!

Why do you shout so? You can call me Isabela.

You're right. It sounds much nicer. I was so happy when...

...I found out that he's become a very famous painter...

...and a professor at the art school.

The name Archibaldo Spadafora will be on everyone's lips in the immediate future of art.

He was made an Honorary Professor, for no apparent reason!

For no apparent reason? Are you trying to say he's not fabulous?

- It can happen if the artist... - ...is young, sexy and brilliant.

There he is! Excuse me a moment! I'll be right back.

Please... you shouldn't miss the chance, Miss Isabel! Even if it seems hopeless!

You're right!

When he was too poor to pay, she shamelessly wanted to throw his...

...trouble-making supporters into the street. Now look how she makes up on him!

Remember, it's she who went to him! I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it!

- What a pleasure to see you, Professor! - I'm not yet a teacher.

- To me you always were. - You've always shown such understanding.

Thank you. I have a request.

Now that you've become famous, I'd like to know if I can keep the paintings...

...that you gave me when you couldn't pay the rent?

You shouldn't have to ask. How could I say no?

Thank you so much! I knew you'd feel that way! In fact, I sold them as soon as...

...I read of your success in the newspaper!

- At a good price, I hope! - You don't think I'm easily fooled!

If I'm not mistaken, you owe rent for 16 months.

Ah! But now I owe you!

- I think it comes to about 5 or 6 marks... - That's enough for now!

A good deed should be rewarded! You keep it!

Really? Thank you!

Now you know how it feels when you succeed at what you've been planning.

- Good luck! - All the best ...

I've heard all that before.

You couldn't break that bronze face with a hammer!

4.80 marks, ma'am!

Come on, don't wait to be asked! You're the famous Lori?

That's me.

- I'm the ambassador of San Martino! - From San Martino?

- You don't know where it is? - Honestly, I'm not sure!

I don't know anything about those republics in South America!

This is a South American ambassador and he knows me by name?

No one other than Mrs. Isabela and her painter does!

- There's no time to lose. - I'd pay to learn how he knows my name.

I'd like to speak to the famous painter, Spadafora!

- You know him? - Yes.

- Can you tell me where he lives? - I certainly can.

Here's 1.000 marks. It's actually 999, I'll give you the rest later.

Excuse me, but I've never seen a 999 mark bill!

- Can I give you a check? - I'm not that crazy!

Maybe you could give me a Royal Order.

- Whatever you like. - I want that one!

- I'm sorry, I need that one. - I think it would look pretty...

...and stand out nicely on my chest.

- I think this one looks better! - That's fine.

- What Order is this? - The Order of Chiorsetului!

- Thank you! - I'm beginning to lose patience!

He lives there, on the 5th floor. Unfortunately, there's no lift.

- Thank you, Mr. Ambassador! - A flower for the lady!

- Thank you! How exciting! - Let's go!

And now... I have a Royal Order!

How beautiful! I've already forgotten about the one on his chest!

Please, after you, sir!

I can't wait to see the look in my friends' eyes when they see this.

Permit me! No, not you... Thank you!

- Master, I have an urgent request! - What's that?

You must allow me to purchase another piece.

They're all gone, but I'll have something by autumn.

You have something new in mind?

Yes, I'm trying a new technique... that reflects the beauty of our time!

Fabulous.

So statuesque!

Why don't you let me paint you in the nude?

We have a tragedy, my dear.

It will be autumn before the master can give us another piece.

- I'll speak to him! - Good for you!

You must do a painting for me soon since that fool of a man has given you my money!

- I understand! - I think I spoil him too much!

You're so mean!

- Don't worry, ma'am! - No, I'm not worried about him.

- Roger! Roger! - Your Consul needs to be rescued from dear Luiza!

- No! - Why do not?

He needs to find out what happens when he falls into the clutches of a woman!

- Besides, I'm mad at him! - Why you are mad?

Earlier, I saw how enthusiastically he was talking to you!

You're jealous!

- How's the party, Gioia? - It suits my taste.

- Roger, are you avoiding me? - You know why!

- I don't want to talk about it. - You tried to corrupt him, eh?

It's not worth the effort!

Look at this!

- What was your reason? - No reason...

- Do you like this photo? - Honestly? I have other tastes.

Of course, the world wouldn't move ahead...

....without their ability to reproduce.

As for me, I understand men much better.

What a party, guys!

Pardon me, I'm the ambassador of San Martino!

Could you direct me to the great painter, Spadafora?

- It's a matter of state! - Three meters to your right!

- To the right? - The right!

Thank you!

That's not him.

You're the famous painter, Spadafora? I'm the ambassador of San Martino!

Even with nothing on, you look magnificent!

- You have wealth and fame ... - Get to the point!

All that's missing is a Royal Order.

There are many possibilities. So you must have one that fits perfectly.

An international Order: Grand Order of the Golden Brush!

I founded the Order just for you, my dear friend!

Don't be silly, my dear ambassador! You came here to steal from thieves!

Why don't you just give it to him?

Attention! That's good!

- Who's that? - Where did she come from?

She looks like a scarecrow!

Let's strip her and see if it's true.

- Have you seen a ghost, Eros? - Never!

- I know her. - Really?

- Of course! I remember her well. - Who is she?

The one who took my place at Laponi's gallery.

She plays the cello. She doesn't look so bad, but she's...

... brainless.

- Perhaps she'll show us the art of music? - Maybe she will!

I have a weakness for blonde musicians.

- Would you care for a seat, miss? - No! I play inside the bag.

- Very original. - Most interesting!

Have you seen this?

I'd be delighted to entertain you, if you're interested, Mr. Ambassador.

We are happy to offer this concert, which will be performed in your honor.

Distinguished guests! We are pleased to offer a concert in the bag...

...performed in honor of the Ambassador of San Martino!

- Where's the opening? - At the top!

I found it!

- Hold this for me, please! - Glad to help.

Please, step in!

- Are you comfortable? - Don't pull it up yet.

Please hold the bag open!

- You don't need to do this if you don't want to! - My instrument, please!

Yes, right away! Can't perform without an instrument!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Before we begin this sensational concert, I ask all those in attendance...

...to give a round of applause for our guest of honor, the Ambassador of San Martino!

A great admirer of modern art!

Maybe it's time for you to introduce your mysterious friend!

The Commissioner is bound to me by more than friendship!

I've been granted two hours of freedom on my word of honor.

- We have the greatest trust in you! - That's very kind of you.

Allow me to dignify you with a Royal Order...

...founded by the Emperor of Abyssinia while he was in exile.

I shall perform Concerto Number 1...

...by Vico Toriani!

- Thank you! Can't you perform without the bag? - No.

And now friends, we'll listen to music from the bag!

Forgive me, sir, but the girl has a disorder!

I don't understand this at all! Won't that bag interfere with her playing?

Care for a drink?

I'm sorry that I don't have anything better.

What you have is good enough!

Care for something to drink, Mr. Commissioner?

Cheers! To your health!

I get the impression that you're putting me on! Would you care to explain this to me, please!

She's a very good performer with the bow. This first passage is especially difficult.

Don't you agree, friends?

Her bow action really is exceptional!

I'd like to be in there to see how she handles it so well!

- What? - Her bow!

Your attention, please! Ladies and gentlemen.

While listening to this concerto of profound protest...

...I cannot but think that the state of the world today...

...isn't due to the high degree of technology that has been reached...

...but rather all the protest movements that we, the artists, have set in motion this past month.

For this, a young artist is prepared...

...to strip herself of the past and face a new life!

And in this way, life presents itself as a great adventure...

...of which art is the principal part.

Not only for herself, but also for those of you who admire the virginal spirit of nudity...

...that transports one into the fascinating world of self-realization.

Ah, now I'm beginning to understand the message!

And I want to protest. Attack!

- No, you cannot! - Why not?

- I simply can't allow it. - Please, Commissioner! Just 5 minutes!

I want to join just one protest before I have to go back into prison. Be good!

Hurry up, otherwise the naked girl will be in my past.

Here I come! Allow me to introduce myself!

I am the Ambassador of San Martino!

Tie it well.

One moment, a photo!

Come on! Now that's a protest!

That's our United Nations: United Organization of Nudes!

- You belong to the UN? - No, we're Chinese!

What a stupendous finale! It's been years since I've seen one like this.

Ladies and gentlemen, voila!

I'm pleased to see that you have a new ambassador.

Congratulations from the landlady. She sent you something!

What's this?

This is for you. And I'll also paint your portrait.

Do it now! I want to capture this provocative atmosphere of protest.

Give him some money! I want to be sure of this masterpiece.

Don't worry, he already promised me!

Modern painting knows no boundaries nor limits of measure.

This painting will be the longest in the world.

- And of course, it will cost you. - Hold this, Alberto!

- Here's 50,000 marks! - I think I'll accept!

- We're prepared to pay. - And I'm his manager.

Not bad! It'll be safe in here!

Anyway, it'll all be spent before winter.

- I'm yours to command ... - Would you consider doing a nude man?

No...

We already made a deal. There's no need to be jealous!

I can assure you that my husband doesn't speak from jealousy.

When should I start to undress?

I'll do this painting using a technique I developed especially for you.

This device will produce a spray.

Your presence here assures that you'll witness...

...the birth of a new art form that will capture the world...

...through its sheer originality.

How fabulous, this young artist!

He's like a mother giving birth!

Attention, initiates of the Compact! This is a solemn moment.

Bravo!

If that's all it takes, I'll show them how to protest!

Idiot! Now I'll show you how one protests against a moron like you!

- No, darling! Please, forgive me! - Shut your trap, you moron!

This one doesn't work! I want to have fun, too!

Press here, and make sure you're aiming at the proper target!

Come on, come on, now ...

And now, ladies and gentlemen, your attention!

What's going on here?

Goodbye! When I see a cop, I see red!

Stop, Rogero, you know I can't stand it!

We have to go. We're more than an hour late!

Please! Do you really want me to lose my job?

My dear Commissioner! The most beautiful hour of your life has arrived!

No, thank you! Because...

I now appoint you...

... a Knight of the Grand Cross! My generosity has no limits.

- But after this... - On your knees!

That's enough!

Today's meeting in my home is the foundation of the next millennia in modern art!

Thank you all for coming!

Just one more sketch, then we all should take a shower.

- What an idiot! - How could he do this?

- I don't understand ... - I can't find the words.

It's been like looking for a needle in a haystack!

Stop!

There he is!

Now I'll show him!

Utterly shameless! He can't do me like this!

I'll give him art!

- May I ask what you're doing? - Painting.

I've surpassed the style that made me famous, and entered a new period.

- I've been looking everywhere... - I finally phoned Commissioner X.

Commissioner X? Ah, yes... there he is!

He's been swimming for about two hours.

Now leave me alone! Otherwise I can't concentrate.

We have the new paintings ready that were ordered.

- They only lack your signature! - What are you painting?

This is the image of an angel! I've finally discovered nature!

- Bah! Who would pay for this? - Meet my new model!

- You're in love with her? - I live with her in another world.

What do you do in another world if that world doesn't go for your paintings?

That's it! We belong to another dimension.

Now the world expects something different from me.

Look at this painting! This is art! Please, just look at it!

This is a creation of Archibaldo Spadafora!

Don't be a fool, the public has shown what it wants from you.

I know why you're here. But you'll understand everything in a moment!

Of course! Manure is a part of nature.

This is a new medium, a new era in painting!

- Art has returned to nature! - Art!

Yes! Pure art!

A real audience pleaser!

The gimmick of the century! It's unprecedented!

From now on, paintings will have to smell.

At last, the painter with the golden brush has given the world...

...the ultimate work of protest.

Adapted from the original translation by Cristiano Ferocci BlackSeaTeam@gmail.com