All language subtitles for Harley Quinn - 02x02 - Riddle U.ANTAGONiST+ION10+DCU.WEBRip-NTb.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:20,868 [HARLEY] C'mon. C'mon. C'mon. 3 00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:23,100 Oh, my God, you piece of shit! 4 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,209 Ugh, damn it! 5 00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:31,148 How is a girl suppose to plan her takeover of Gotham 6 00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,171 [SHOUTS] if she can't see her kill board? 7 00:00:33,173 --> 00:00:34,700 It's only six people, Harls. 8 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,351 And two of them were dead when you made this list. 9 00:00:36,353 --> 00:00:37,919 Well, I wanted to give us a head start. 10 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,788 Like when you put your own money in the tip jar 11 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,518 at the beginning of your barista shift. 12 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,628 Ah! Mazel! How'd ya make all these candles? 13 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:48,298 Definitely not with the rendered fat of dead zebras. 14 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,468 Well, then I guess it remains a mystery. 15 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,438 Ugh. We need power! We can't keep depending 16 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,838 on runaway zoo animals for Psycho to make candles out of. 17 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,969 I made hats, too. 18 00:00:56,970 --> 00:01:00,508 Gotham is a wasteland. No one has reliable power. 19 00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:01,808 [RIDDLER] Riddle me this, 20 00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:03,678 what's the only place in Gotham 21 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,478 with a still-intact power plant and running water? 22 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,178 Well, it's right here! At Riddle U! 23 00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:12,388 Where the young and promising can charge their cell phones 24 00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:15,120 and their brains. Right, three girls? 25 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,130 [TOGETHER] Yes, Dean Riddler. 26 00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:22,130 Mmm. Now, that's clean water. 27 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,268 That asshole's the only one with power. 28 00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:31,208 We're gonna kill him next and steal it for ourselves. 29 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,379 Ive, hope you're vaccinated for HPV 30 00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:35,139 'cause we're goin' to college. 31 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:36,549 [POISON IVY] Harley, you know we're too old 32 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:38,848 to get the HPV vaccine, right? 33 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:41,150 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 34 00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,758 Okay, here's the plan. We pretend to be coeds, 35 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,979 sneak into Riddle U, kill the Riddler, 36 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:49,263 maybe go to a sick party, 37 00:01:49,265 --> 00:01:51,529 and then we have all the power and water to ourselves. 38 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:53,358 Ooh! What are you gonna charge first? 39 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,858 I'm gonna blow dry my hair! 40 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:56,928 - As an actor... - Not an actor! 41 00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:59,468 I know a thing or two about acting. 42 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:02,698 To go undercover you must become the cover. 43 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:06,368 So much so that you can no longer even remember your true self. 44 00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:08,926 Like a young Mr. Jonathan Depp 45 00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:12,179 in the television series 21 Jump Street, 46 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,348 and a very old Mr. Jonathan Depp 47 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:17,518 in the feature film 21 Jump Street. 48 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,258 Yeah, you're not coming with. 49 00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,688 I agree, Clayface shouldn't go 50 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:25,828 but your boo... Stephanie is mad-stoked 51 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,828 to hook up with you on the quad. 52 00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,298 - Oh, God... - What up? 53 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,868 It is I, Stephanie, 54 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:34,668 a fun, yet bookish transfer student from Chico State. 55 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:36,468 Yeah. Stephanie's not going either. 56 00:02:36,470 --> 00:02:37,868 [CHUCKLES] No, she's not. 57 00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:40,478 You, however, are going to a padded room. 58 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,308 You're way harsher than the girls who drove me out of Chico. 59 00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:47,918 I can't spill the deets 'cause of the impending lawsuit, so... 60 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,688 All right, Ive, are you ready for all-night study seshes, 61 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:53,288 talkin' philosophy and smokin' cloves, 62 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:55,488 puttin' up any poster we want in our dorm room! Ah! 63 00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:59,358 You know what, I do have an Indigo Girls poster that does need a wall. 64 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,698 Oh, my God! All right, while you two geriatric coeds 65 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,079 are rediscovering yourselves, 66 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,668 the rest of us are makin' zebra candles and chewin' on water! 67 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:10,738 [GASPS] So it was zebras... 68 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,378 Oh! At least the mouse is alive this time. 69 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,978 - Oh. - Oh, my God! 70 00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:16,778 I drank two quarts of that shit. 71 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,008 I fear we may not survive until your return. 72 00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:21,718 Then you and Psycho find a water filter. Great idea! 73 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:25,618 Ive, hope you're vaccinated for HPV 'cause we're goin' to college! 74 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,342 - Yeah. You said that already. - I know, 75 00:03:27,344 --> 00:03:30,505 but when I said it nobody knew the plan so nobody laughed. 76 00:03:30,507 --> 00:03:31,867 [POISON IVY] Sure. 77 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:42,270 [CROWD CHANTING] Let us in, let us in, let us in! 78 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,490 - [GUNSHOT] - [PEOPLE SCREAM] 79 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,608 Put us down on that tower. 80 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,026 Oh, if my girlfriend sees me 81 00:03:53,028 --> 00:03:55,518 hanging out with you hot young coeds... 82 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,518 - Ugh. - ... she's going to be green with envy. 83 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,518 Oh, my God, fuckin' gross. 84 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,728 - I thought it was cute, babe. - Nice. 85 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,275 [RIDDLER] Morning, students. 86 00:04:05,277 --> 00:04:10,028 Riddle me this, what's priceless but still costs 60k a year? 87 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:13,339 - Riddle U. - It's better than Harvard. 88 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,009 - [RIDDLER] Carry on. - [MICROPHONE FEEDBACK] 89 00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:18,108 Pretty lazy riddle, but he is right about Harvard sucking. 90 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,638 ... and that was Water Fountain 29 where you can get 91 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,209 the best Riddler water in all of new, New Gotham. 92 00:04:23,211 --> 00:04:25,018 Oh, my God, it's so interesting. 93 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,818 So, like, I have a question. 94 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,369 Where is the Riddler right now? 95 00:04:28,370 --> 00:04:30,419 I'm sorry. Were you two on the tour when we started? 96 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:31,649 I don't see your name tags. 97 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,459 Oh, we told you at the beginning of the tour 98 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,167 that we were definitely there for. 99 00:04:35,169 --> 00:04:36,791 I, of course, am Heather Witherbee 100 00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:38,899 and this is my friend Izziadora Staplebuntkin. 101 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,528 Hmm. I feel like I would've remembered such distinct names. 102 00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:45,098 Yes, yes. We do have very distinct names, Heather. 103 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:48,908 - It's chill, they're with me. - Oh, thanks, Steph. 104 00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:50,392 Let's keep this train going. 105 00:04:50,394 --> 00:04:52,738 He actually showed up? I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. 106 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:56,108 I dunno, Harls, I mean, he/she seems to be very popular. 107 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:58,097 And you've got to admit, like, 108 00:04:58,099 --> 00:04:59,818 Steph's really pulling off her crop top. 109 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,418 I mean, you never really made it work. 110 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,520 I know. I never know what to pair it with. 111 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:10,558 Well, that was a surprisingly easy and delightful stroll 112 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,421 across an apocalyptic wasteland. 113 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:13,658 Of course it was! 114 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,158 Any idiot could've done it. 115 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,798 I'm a brilliant telepath and 116 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,428 my talents are being squandered 117 00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:20,038 on menial tasks like this. 118 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,700 And you do stuff, too. 119 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,938 Shit! There's still cops? 120 00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,738 - [COPS] Stop right there! - He did it! 121 00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:29,508 [GASPS] Your treachery knows no bounds! 122 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:32,518 I'm not going to jail for you or anybody! 123 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,448 - Ah! - [CAMEL BELLOWS] 124 00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:38,448 Dang. Back to the clink. 125 00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,718 This is Two-Face territory. 126 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,082 Whaddaya say, boys! 127 00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:46,488 Howzabout we compose 'em a story on deez Chicago typewriters? 128 00:05:46,490 --> 00:05:49,128 What the fuck is dickhead Tracy talking about? 129 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:51,199 Oh, it's one of them old-timey phrases. 130 00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:54,012 - See, from a distance a Tommy gun sounds like... - [MACHINE GUN FIRING] 131 00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:55,134 - [SCREAMS] - [CAMEL BELLOWS] 132 00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,008 Ah! Well, I'll be damned! 133 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:02,208 It does sound like a typewriter. 134 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:05,748 And that is the last of the 17 hedge mazes. 135 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,880 Yeah, if we could just have a follow-up question 136 00:06:07,882 --> 00:06:09,518 to Heather's earlier question. 137 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,748 Do you think you could lead us to the Riddler 138 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:14,488 so we can thank him for letting us in his university? 139 00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:16,960 [LAUGHING] I mean... It's not like we're gonna kill him. 140 00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:19,528 [ALL LAUGHING] 141 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:21,728 He's a very busy man. You never see him anywhere... 142 00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:25,098 and yet, he's everywhere. 143 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,668 Uh, making sure that we all have clean water and power. 144 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:30,284 That concludes our tour. 145 00:06:30,286 --> 00:06:33,738 [GIRL OVER MEGAPHONE] A bachelor's in puzzles is not an education. 146 00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:35,848 Bring back a useful degree! 147 00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:40,548 One that guarantees gainful employment like [GRUNT] art history. 148 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:41,713 What the hell was that? 149 00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,888 The Riddler's the only one who asks questions around here! 150 00:06:44,890 --> 00:06:46,918 What? Everyone knows that. 151 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,228 How long have you been here? You know what? Never mind. 152 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:52,128 - While you're here, will you... - Join the theater department? 153 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,628 - No. - But if I already have? 154 00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,799 Just get intel on the Riddler's whereabouts. 155 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,929 Ivy and I are gonna do some general snoopin' around. 156 00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:02,800 Fine. Can do. Oh, Chad! Wait up! 157 00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:08,579 Wow, this place is huge. Where do we even start to look for Ridd... 158 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:09,580 Oh, there he is. 159 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,618 Riddle me this! 160 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,018 - [GRUNTS] - [WATER SPLASHING] 161 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,948 You're about to die, bitch. 162 00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,790 [MAN CRYING OUT] 163 00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:25,188 [GRUNTING] 164 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,028 You're not Riddler. Who the hell are you? 165 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,968 I'm Jiminey Riddles... The Riddle U mascot. 166 00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:33,040 Holy frick, it's Harley Quinn? 167 00:07:34,968 --> 00:07:35,968 Shit! 168 00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:43,730 - Ha! - [MAN GASPS] 169 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:56,058 Would you like to audition for the a cappella club? 170 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,958 Would you like to audition for the cool a cappella club? 171 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,658 You're not cooler than us, Garrett! 172 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:02,058 [SCREAMING] Oh, shit! 173 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,570 [BOTH IN SING-SONG] Shit! 174 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,368 Argh! 175 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:13,079 Yeah, I know. And I got made by the surprisingly agile tour guide. 176 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,348 - So... - Let's go kill a tour guide. 177 00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:16,708 Find the tour guide. 178 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,980 Ugh. College Ivy is no fun! 179 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,288 Hey, I just want to be clear. I'm anti-forcefully entering 180 00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:29,658 the dorm room of a girl who sure does not want us in there. 181 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,728 Under normal circumstances, agree. 182 00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:34,730 But Ive, this is an emergency procedure. 183 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,040 [SHRIEKS] 184 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,468 - Ahh! - Babs, don't shoot! 185 00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:47,010 Izziadora? You work for Harley Quinn? 186 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,401 Wait... Poison Ivy? 187 00:08:50,403 --> 00:08:52,171 You were gonna rat us out to the Riddler! 188 00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:54,523 What? No! Heck. If anything, 189 00:08:54,525 --> 00:08:56,837 I want someone to take down the Riddler. 190 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,758 Hey Waynebox. Play "Party mix". And turn it up. 191 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,358 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS] 192 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,392 Look, there's some seriously terrible stuff 193 00:09:06,394 --> 00:09:08,799 that's been going on here ever since Riddler took over. 194 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,099 Like, what kinda stuff? 195 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,669 Well, like, we used to have a really good basketball team 196 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:14,339 and all the best players just disappeared. 197 00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:16,409 And let's just say, it wasn't because they went pro. 198 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:19,378 Okay? I mean, they were good for Division II, but you know... 199 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:21,019 - What are you saying? - I'm saying 200 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,678 students are disappearing. Riddler's behind it. 201 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,318 And I wanna take him down... If you don't kill me. 202 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,889 Yeah, but how do we know that the second we untie you, 203 00:09:28,890 --> 00:09:30,741 you're not gonna turn us in to your dean? 204 00:09:30,743 --> 00:09:32,135 You'll just have to trust me. 205 00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:34,076 [GORDON] Fair warning, I'm only wearing a towel. 206 00:09:34,078 --> 00:09:36,199 By the by, you're out of lavender herbal essen... 207 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,352 What the hell is going on here? 208 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:39,088 Waynebox! Turn down "Party mix!" 209 00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:40,298 [MUSIC STOPS] 210 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,928 - Hey, Dad... - Who are these two 211 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:43,491 and why is there a plant wrapped around you? 212 00:09:43,493 --> 00:09:45,328 There's a lot a suspicious things going on here. 213 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,969 - She's gonna turn us in! - We're just... Vining, Dad. 214 00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,808 It's an Internet thing. You wouldn't get it. 215 00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,938 [CHUCKLES] Goddamn Internet. 216 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,232 You ladies have fun. 217 00:09:54,234 --> 00:09:56,626 I just came out to get another beer for the shower. 218 00:09:56,628 --> 00:09:57,979 [FARTS] 219 00:09:57,981 --> 00:10:00,012 Oopsie-daisy. 220 00:10:00,014 --> 00:10:02,706 So, Commissioner Gordon is your dad 221 00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:05,388 and he lives with you in this dorm room? 222 00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:07,788 [SIGHS] He snuck in before the Riddler took over. 223 00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,758 - It's been a... - [GORDON SOBBING] 224 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,029 ... rough couple of months. For both of us. 225 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,029 I've been trying to track the Riddler and he keeps 226 00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,669 coming back to this one location 227 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:19,068 There's something going on in this fraternity house. 228 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,342 I see people go in but they never come out. 229 00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,269 Uh, how is that different from a normal frat house? 230 00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:24,385 I don't know yet. 231 00:10:24,387 --> 00:10:26,838 But I have three wristbands to a party there tonight. 232 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,442 Hey, this is gonna sound crazy, 233 00:10:28,444 --> 00:10:29,926 'cause you're supervillains and all, but 234 00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:31,320 if you're past the killing me thing, 235 00:10:31,322 --> 00:10:33,218 - maybe we can all go and... - [HARLEY] Great. Thanks. 236 00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:37,088 Oh, come on! I had to chug a beer to get those! 237 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,488 I didn't like the way it tasted! 238 00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:42,458 Or the way it made me feel! Come back! 239 00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:44,311 So explain that "vining" thing to me. 240 00:10:44,313 --> 00:10:47,258 Is it something you and I could do? Or would that be weird? 241 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,368 That'd be weird. 242 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:52,670 You got moxie but we got guns. You're surrounded, see? 243 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,040 How are we going to get out of here? 244 00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:03,148 Ah, perfect! 245 00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:05,731 I can't reach the pedals and you can't fit inside. 246 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:08,988 [LAUGHS] We're gonna make a few modifications. 247 00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:10,388 [HAMMERING AND WHOOSHING] 248 00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:13,390 Is it just me, or do yous hear welding? 249 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:22,228 [LAUGHS] And you said you didn't want the long metal spike. 250 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:24,528 Whoo-hoo! I can admit when I'm wrong. 251 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:27,038 Ha-ha! There's another one. Get 'em! 252 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,238 Do I like Chad? Yes. 253 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,438 But I don't know if I'm ready to be "Chad's girlfriend". 254 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,079 Why does he want to rush to label it? 255 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,578 How long did he give you to decide? 256 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,209 Just the weekend! And I'm auditioning 257 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:38,949 for Garrett's a cappella group. 258 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,248 Ugh! That's still the cool one, right? 259 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:44,288 It's too much pressure! 260 00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:47,118 Hey Steph! Can we grab ya for a second? 261 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,841 We got some intel. 262 00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:52,028 So did I. Betsy Dunkhaven has a crush on Ava Stein... 263 00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:54,158 absolutely hates Hunter McMurray. 264 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,828 Who could blame her? Hunter's got areolas the size of... 265 00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:58,870 ... pancakes. 266 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,476 They touch in the middle. 267 00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:04,108 We got some intel about the Riddler. He's inside. 268 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,508 And we got wristbands. 269 00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:07,578 VIP, bitches. 270 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,132 Holy shit! How'd you get that? 271 00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:11,660 It pays to be chad's "almost-girlfriend". 272 00:12:11,662 --> 00:12:13,562 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 273 00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:19,618 Ugh! Gross. 274 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:23,852 Gross. And grosser. Oh, Harley... [SIGHS] 275 00:12:23,854 --> 00:12:25,636 What? It's an ice luge. 276 00:12:25,638 --> 00:12:29,069 Ya know I can't resist alcohol bein' poured down an icy surface. 277 00:12:29,071 --> 00:12:30,468 No, I did not know that. 278 00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,468 Listen, Harls. Game face, okay? 279 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,440 We got to keep our eyes out for the Riddler. 280 00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:38,914 I'm pretty sure that was the Riddler. 281 00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:40,508 It might've just been Jiminey Riddles. 282 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,278 No no, that's Jiminey Riddles. 283 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,308 The whole party is a fundraiser to cover 284 00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:47,278 his medical bills for the beating you gave him. 285 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,580 I already donated. 286 00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:52,188 Oh, you're good, Steph. 287 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:53,618 Sorry. VIP only. 288 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,759 But we're with Steph. 289 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,088 Do I look like I give a shit? Gotta have a VIP wristband. 290 00:12:57,090 --> 00:13:00,258 [SIGHS] All right, Stephanie. 291 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,850 You go in, you look around, you report back. 292 00:13:02,852 --> 00:13:04,119 Real simple peek n' speak. 293 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,968 What if I run into Chad and he asks me where we stand? 294 00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:09,338 I mean, sure, he gave me the weekend, 295 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:12,308 but it would be awkward not to talk about it. 296 00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,138 But if we did talk about it... 297 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:16,448 Oh, my God, it'd be just as awkward! 298 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,678 Ah! I'm being ripped apart! 299 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,418 Ugh, I'm going to text my counselor! 300 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,648 Oh, my God! You're a fucking clay monster. 301 00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:27,350 Forget about Chad for five seconds and do your goddamn job. 302 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,269 The best thing about chest hair, chip catcher. 303 00:13:39,270 --> 00:13:40,392 [CRUNCHES] 304 00:13:40,394 --> 00:13:43,308 That's not even from the bag you're eat... [SIGHS] 305 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:44,342 Come on, Dad! 306 00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,245 We know the Riddler's up to something in that frat house! 307 00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:49,101 Now, put on your shirt and let's go full swat on his ass. 308 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:52,149 I don't do shirts anymore. And I certainly don't swat. 309 00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:53,419 Now, if you'll excuse me. 310 00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,579 I have some Kimmy Schmidt to binge. 311 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,618 This school needs a champion! 312 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,658 New, New Gotham needs a hero! 313 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,090 No. This city needs the Bat. I... 314 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,610 need the Bat. 315 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,570 [KEYS JINGLE] 316 00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,298 [DOOR CLOSES] 317 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,640 [SPITTING] 318 00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:18,190 That's not a chip. 319 00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:23,078 Ugh. He's been in there way too long. 320 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,142 Let's just kill the bouncer. 321 00:14:24,144 --> 00:14:25,744 Yeah, but we don't want to cause a scene. 322 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,178 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 323 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,580 Watch this, Ive. 324 00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:43,568 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 325 00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:44,620 [THUDS] 326 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,260 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 327 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,518 Hey, girls. 328 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,218 So, [PANTING] I figured out how 329 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:10,851 he's generating electricity. 330 00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:13,598 By inviting people to fake frat parties, kidnapping them, 331 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,398 and forcing them to run on hamster wheels, 332 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,428 effectively turning them into human batteries? 333 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:20,698 Oh, wait. That makes way more sense than what I was thinking. 334 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,068 - [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] - [GROANS] 335 00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:26,508 Oh, my God, that hurt! [PANTING] 336 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,478 Well, what fortuitous timing. 337 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,210 We just had two jobs open up. 338 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:38,788 Congratulations, graduates. Welcome to the workforce. 339 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:40,458 Joke's on you, Riddler! 340 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,828 - I don't do jokes... I do... - Whatever. 341 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,558 The point is you're in for a surprise. 342 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,158 'Cause we ain't beautiful, young coeds. 343 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,668 [GRUNTING] 344 00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:51,698 We're beautiful, regular-aged women. 345 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,538 - That's right, Harley Quinn... - Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. 346 00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:57,838 I Know! Gee, I wonder what gave it away? 347 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,678 The '90s miniskirts, the pigtails, 348 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,538 the overall shorts, or the chunky flats? 349 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:02,778 - Oh. - Jesus. 350 00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:06,148 So you took down Penguin and came for me. 351 00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:11,248 Well, I got something Cobblepot doesn't, a riddle stick! 352 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,190 [BOTH LAUGH] 353 00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:15,788 Why are you laughing? 354 00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:18,758 No. It's a super, super cool name, very menacing. 355 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:22,198 It's a cane. What are ya gonna do, trip us? 356 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,568 [CRACKLES] 357 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,270 See? It is cool. 358 00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:32,040 [BULLETS RICOCHET] 359 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,338 [TIRES SCREECHING] 360 00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:37,740 [SIRENS WAILING] 361 00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:47,618 Oh! How convenient, those fake police men ran out of gas. 362 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:51,128 Uh, pretty sure it was my sick driving that scared them off. 363 00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:54,328 You idiots! They stopped following you 364 00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,670 because you left Two-Face territory. 365 00:16:57,530 --> 00:17:00,338 You're in Bane town now. 366 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:01,468 [TIRES SCREECH] 367 00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:02,670 [GRUNTS] 368 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:06,238 It's actually Baneton. 369 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,108 And if you lived here, you'd be home by now. Let's get em'. 370 00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:14,518 What? We just built a mega death car. 371 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,918 You think we're afraid of a few Bane goons? 372 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,470 [SYRINGE EMPTIES] 373 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:28,180 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 374 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,770 I think we underestimated the Bane goons. 375 00:17:38,610 --> 00:17:40,408 [PEOPLE PANTING] 376 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:42,308 Running sucks! 377 00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,908 [ELECTRICITY BUZZES] 378 00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:46,918 Uh, faster! My battery's only at 75%. 379 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,788 [CRYING] 380 00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:52,488 I can't believe Chad set me up. 381 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:55,490 I broke my purity ring for him. 382 00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:58,558 Clayface, pull it together. 383 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,688 Turn into something skinny and slip out of your belt. 384 00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:04,160 Are you calling me fat? [WAILING] 385 00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:08,539 Honestly, this is some of his best character work. 386 00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:11,468 Yeah. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this in clogs. 387 00:18:11,470 --> 00:18:13,438 What is Rodger and Hammerstein's Oklahoma? 388 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,710 - Ah. Yes. - [BABS] Let them go, Riddler! 389 00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:20,818 How'd you get in here? 390 00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:24,818 See, Tanner? I said we should have a retinal scanner 391 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:25,990 but you were all like, 392 00:18:25,992 --> 00:18:29,288 "No, wristbands are fine, It'll be fun, like Coachella!" 393 00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:32,958 This is my last warning. I'm warning you. 394 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,968 [SIGHS] Tanner, go kill her. 395 00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:37,798 Oh, great. Now I gotta watch Gordon's kid die. 396 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,400 - [GRUNTS] - [CAN HISSING] 397 00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,638 Oh, my God. Did you kill Tanner? 398 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,608 No! No? 399 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:53,478 No. I said, let them go, Riddler! 400 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,530 [BANGS] 401 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:03,928 [GUN CLICKS] 402 00:19:03,930 --> 00:19:06,388 Whatcha gonna do? Shoot all of us? 403 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:07,660 No! Just that switch! 404 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:10,768 [BULLETS RICOCHET] 405 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,022 Frick! 406 00:19:12,024 --> 00:19:15,008 When someone says, "What are you gonna do, shoot all of us?" 407 00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:18,810 You say "No! Just you!" Not the switch! 408 00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:24,250 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] 409 00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:27,650 [MACHINES POWER DOWN] 410 00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:30,550 [GRUNTS] 411 00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:48,838 You've just been citizens arrested! 412 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,639 Gosh, I'm good. 413 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,308 Is this what it feels like to be Batman? 414 00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,508 Because I feel like a superhero right now! 415 00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,078 - [BABS SCREAMS] - Wow, Babs, 416 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,648 you really know how to just kill the post-fight mood. 417 00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,918 Sorry. I'm gonna call my dad. 418 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,018 He'll arrest Riddler and take him to Arkham. 419 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,618 Oh, my gosh! 420 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,789 This is gonna be so great for his self-esteem. 421 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:10,058 I dunno. I mean, he seemed pretty confident earlier in that towel. 422 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,788 We'll just drop Riddler at Arkham. 423 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,598 You sure? I mean, I could come with. 424 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,829 [GASPS] Then maybe we could get Fro-Yo? 425 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,761 Or w-what do you usually do after 426 00:20:17,763 --> 00:20:19,538 a high-octane battle between good and evil? 427 00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:20,938 [GRUNTS] 428 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:22,938 Yeah, we're gonna do the drive-thru at Arkham. 429 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:25,340 It's on our way home. Easy peasy. Byeee! 430 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,678 [MUSIC PLAYING] 431 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,230 [WATER SPLASHING] 432 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,818 [PANTING] 433 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,718 [POISON IVY] Knees up, bitch. 434 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,928 Cheese! 435 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:43,388 [RIDDLER] You're the bitch! 436 00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,873 And a liar. 437 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:47,796 You told that nice girl that you were taking me to Arkham! 438 00:20:47,798 --> 00:20:49,868 - [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] - [CRIES OUT] 439 00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:53,868 Three down, three to go. 440 00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:57,038 Ah! We are gods! 441 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,908 Or at least demigods. Maybe Titans. 442 00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:05,719 One brand-new industrial strength water purifier as requested. 443 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,019 Oh, that's what you guys were doin'? 444 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:08,818 Yeah, that's what we were doin'! 445 00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:11,118 We went through hell to get you this. 446 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,788 We took out half of Two-Face's army! 447 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:18,558 And we had to get stomped into the Bane boys. Fucking Bane! 448 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,859 We made a death car! 449 00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:22,869 Oh. Well, you know, once we got the power runnin' 450 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:26,098 the water started comin' out clear, so... 451 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,570 [SHATTERS] 452 00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:32,179 Ugh! Well, I for one am glad 453 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:34,438 we can once more be free from 454 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,578 the petty trappings of campus life. 455 00:21:36,580 --> 00:21:37,678 [PHONE DINGS] 456 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,948 Oh, Chad! [GIGGLES] 457 00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:43,503 What do ya think'll happen to Babs? 458 00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:46,220 Eh, you know, I mean, once the adrenaline wears off, 459 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,659 she'll probably go back to studying, 460 00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:48,719 she'll graduate... 461 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,159 Hopefully she grows out of her awkward 462 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,758 Batman obsession phase. 463 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,858 I mean, we all did. 464 00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:55,728 [BOTH SIGH] 465 00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:58,570 I don't know. I feel like we awakened something in her. 466 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,940 [WHIRRING] 467 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,120 Yeah. 468 00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,512 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 469 00:22:25,514 --> 00:22:28,514 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 35648

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