Original subtitles

We've both been pretending that this is possible

and it's not, is it?

This wife and kids

and la-di-da life's great stuff.

lt's not on, any of it, is it?

All it took was one bad football result

and we're now back

to ''life is shit so what's the point?''

What lS the point?

l don't think that Arsenal's home form

is a sturdy enough basis for marriage and parenthood.

No.

Not even THlS season.

'..Give him a surprise enema.'

[Phone rings]

'Sir Nigel?'

[Paul] Hello?

'How are you?'

Oh, hi, Mum.

Yeah, just having a night in.

Yeah, l know. They were awful.

Yeah, yeah...

She's fine.

She...says hello.

Look, Mum, l've gotta go.

Supper's on the table.

l'll call you tomorrow.

Bye, Mum.

[Door opens]

Mr Ashworth, the play was supposed to start

five minutes ago. We're waiting.

No good, Miss. He's got the hump.

Have you had a row?

[Class sniggers]

[Paul] Shut up, Holly.

OK, everyone into the hall.

Quietly!

How did Arsenal get on last night?

YOU have a look.

Ooh...sorry.

They drew two-two.

What does that mean?

Dunno. Apart from bad.

lt means they have to beat Liverpool away

to win the Championship.

Now, l've heard of Liverpool.

They're famous for being good, aren't they?

Gary Lineker, Peter Shilton, all that lot.

So Arsenal have no chance?

None whatsoever, it says here.

But do we really CARE that much?

Don't bounce it in here.

Miss Hughes.

Are you chewing?

No.

And finally, l probably don't need to tell you

that the final of the South Hertfordshire

Schools Cup Competition takes place here

this afternoon at 4.30.

l'm sure you join me

in wishing Mr Ashworth and the boys

the very best of luck.

Not that they'll need it.

l know that many of you

will be anxious to get home

to start your homework.

But...those who feel they can spare the time,

and wish to lend their vocal encouragement,

will be most welcome.

Thank you.

l think you stand

an extremely good chance...

[lnaudible]

[Kids shouting encouragement]

[Cheering]

How are we doing?

Losing one-nil.

Playing shit.

How long to go?

Almost finished.

[Whistle]

[Paul] Penalty!

Come on, somebody!

[Shouting from crowd]

lt's all down to you, Rob.

Good boy, Robert.

[Excited shouting]

[Whistle]

[Groans of disappointment]

Rob!

You're useless!

Sorry, sir. You don't need to say anything.

l wasn't gonna say anything.

l should never have taken it.

No one else had the guts.

Yeah, so l'm stupid as well as useless.

Doesn't matter. You've had a brilliant season.

lt's not what l'm gonna remember, though, is it?

Anyway...

Winning this afternoon

and Arsenal winning tomorrow night...

- What would you go for? - Tomorrow night, of course.

There you go, then.

What? You're telling me

Arsenal are gonna win two-nil at Anfield.

Can't promise, can l? There's a chance.

You've done your bit. Missed a penalty.

lf that's what it takes, it's worth it.

Yeah, 'course.

# What can l say?

# She's walking away

# From what we've seen

# What can l do?

# Still loving you

# lt's all a dream

# How can we hang on to dreams?

# How can it really be

# The way it seems?

# What can l do?

# She's saying we're through

# With how it was

# What will l try?

# l still don't see why

# She says what she does

# How can we hang on to dreams?

# How can it really be

# The way it seems? #

Good luck, sir.

You've got nothing to worry about.

No chance.

Hope you get stuffed, sir.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

Off to watch the big match?

Yeah.

l just came to wish you good luck.

Thanks.

The boys in my GCSE set

were trying to explain it to me.

You have to win two-nil, right?

- Yeah. - lt's possible, isn't it?

You've got no chance, sir.

Shut up!

ls it right you've handed in your notice?

Yeah. l need more money. Child support.

We could've managed. Between us.

lt'd be a bit awkward,

working in the next room

to the absent father of your child.

Maybe.

Well, l'll be thinking of you tonight.

Are you gonna watch?

l'm not sure.

My fifth-formers are having and end-of-school party

and l've been invited. But l'll try.

lt doesn't matter. lt's only a stupid game.

[TV] 'The teams occupying

'first and second place in the Championship.

'The last match of the season

'for the League Championship.

'The Anfield roar welcoming and intimidating

'as we join our commentary team

'of David Pleat and Brian Moore.

'Thank you, Elton.

'Good evening, everybody.

'Arsenal on the pitch...

'with bouquets of flowers.

'Which l think are...'

We should be there.

You were the one who said

it wasn't worth the hassle.

l didn't know it'd be the title decider.

Anyway, imagine all those

Scousers celebrating.

l'd rather be down here

with my own people.

..Person.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

# She's gone away,

# l don't know where

# Somewhere l can't follow her...#

Thought you were a football fan, Duncan.

That's why l can't stand Arsenal.

- Sounds like an old joke. - No joke.

- William? - Hate football. And Arsenal.

Don't you wanna know how they're getting on?

- No. - Go on, l bet you do.

We wouldn't mind.

Mind if Miss Hughes sticks the TV on?

She wants the football scores.

- l don't, really. - Not much.

l wonder why. lf you must,

but just to find out the score.

OK.

[Pop music playing]

Still nil-nil, first half.

'lnto that crowd it goes.'

[Woman] There he is -

my mate, Mickey Thomas.

Shut up, Mum. He's useless.

l like him.

Shows what YOU know.

'They out-played them

'for most of the Littlewoods Cup tie...'

Miracle of modern technology.

But it hasn't got an aerial or nothing.

lt doesn't need one.

[Football commentator] 'Positive charge by Adams

'but it falls to Whelan.'

[Phone rings]

Oh, hello, love.

l was wondering who'd dare ring tonight.

'Arsenal have some very big chaps...'

Your brother'll have the phone off the hook.

'lt'd be dangerous to give away...'

No score. No, not really.

They don't look like they're gonna let one in either.

Hold on.

'..Tangling with Whelan.

'Michael Thomas getting to the byline.

'Danger for Liverpool.'

Oh!

- No! - Ah!

That was it. That was our chance.

No, there'll be others.

You reckon? l don't.

'Arsenal within a whisker

'of getting the goal they wanted

'early in this game.'

Let's go out.

..You're kidding.

No, let's go and get hammered.

Forget all about it.

l'm watching till the end.

Can't do that. Sorry.

'Just imagine the tension

'if Arsenal do manage to snatch a goal.'

Sit down.

There's no point!

l'm off in a minute.

l'll just...stay till half-time.

'Everyone's looking very closely at him.

'He's beginning to get the mood of this game...'

l'll just see what they've got to say.

Doin' OK, aren't we?

What's the use of OK?

Might as well be losing eight-nil.

lf you want to win a game two-nil,

you've got more chance if it's nil-nil at half-time

than if you're eight goals down.

You're living in cloud cuckoo land!

Join the real world!

ln the real world, it's nil-nil at half time!

Might as well be eight-nil.

Jesus, Paul, you need medical help.

You've got some kind of disease

that turns people into miserable bastards.

- Are you stayin'? - No!

'l'm just wondering at what stage

'George Graham will decide...'

Just watch a couple of minutes of the second half.

'Winterburn and Richardson behind it.

'Adams made a darting little run in there.

'And Smith!'

- Y-E-E-ES! - YES!

- Ha, ha! - Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

'Liverpool players

'are surrounding the referee.'

He's gonna disallow it now.

Typical. Bet you any money you like.

'He's coming to have a word with the linesman.

'Now - a crucial decision here.

'Ronnie Whelan looking on there.

'The goal's been given.'

YE-E-ES!

lsn't that just like Arsenal?

They need two so they score one

just to get us all going.

You want 'em to score a second before they scored the first?

'And what a game we have now.

'The breakthrough by Arsenal,

'their fans...

'are delighted.

'Back to Smith.

'Adams there with him.

'Merson...

'Richardson...

'A chance here...

'Thomas!'

Oh!

'..Grobbelar grabbed it.'

Told you. He's useless.

'Suddenly, Thomas, totally unmarked...'

That's it. l've had enough. l'm off.

Good. Fucking good riddance!

Are you coming?

No!

lt's M Y flat!

You try gettin' me out of it.

'And Hansen will get it back.

'Quarter of an hour left.'

They've scored!

OK, listen up, everyone.

l don't know what to say now.

[Everyone] Sasha!

Um, well, basically, Miss Hughes,

we had a whip-round

and bought you a thank-you present.

Was that it?

Brief and to the point. Thank you.

Wait. There's a bit more.

Well, we didn't like you at first

'cause you gave us too much work.

But we really enjoyed it

and we think we'll pass our exams

so you must be a good teacher.

Scott, who's at home watching football,

says you're like George Graham

because you push us hard and get results.

[Cheering]

Dinner's ready, guys!

[Cheers]

# Been around the world and l, l, l

# l can't find my baby

# l don't know when, l don't know why

# Why he's gone away

# And l don't know where he can be

# My baby

# But l'm gonna find him

# l'm going to fi-i-i-ind him

# My...b-b-b-b-baby

# l did too much lying

# Wasted too much time

# Now l'm here and crying

# Now, now, now

# Been around the world

# and l, l, l...#

Highbury, please.

Whereabouts?

Just around the corner

from the Arsenal ground.

l don't wanna go there tonight.

Not now.

lt's in Liverpool, the football.

But l'm tapin' it, see.

They'll give the game away there.

They'll be doin' their nut

or be as quiet as the grave.

You can go in and out

before the final whistle.

Come on, then.

# Lookin' for my baby

# Been around the world

# And l'm gonna... ##

You're an Arsenal fan, then?

Used to be, when l was a kid.

Charlie George an' all of them.

l don't go any more.

l'd bloody love 'em to win tonight.

l'd bloody love it!

'Remember, Arsenal need two goals.

'At the moment, they have one.

'lf it stays this way,

'Liverpool will be Champions for the 1 9th time.'

We shouldn't even have turned the TV on this evening.

'But will it stay this way?'

What did we think would happen?

l don't reckon l'll be able to carry on after this.

l won't be able to...

pick myself up.

Well, to get this close!

'Unless there is an amazing and dramatic...'

Why did l listen to you?

Me?

You said we had a chance!

Well, we did. We do!

We're practically in injury time!

'Arsenal have powered forward

'in search of the second goal.'

l might start supporting a team

that never wins.

Orient or someone.

At least you know where you stand.

You don't lay yourself open

to situations like this.

[Door buzzer]

'..His team-mate, John Aldridge...'

Can you believe that?

You're on your way out.

See what they want when you're down there.

'Presumably, we'll have to go on.

'And remember,

'Arsenal have both substitutes already on.'

[Door buzzer]

'One minute to go.

'McMahon has got the word from the Kop, obviously.

'But nobody knows quite how much time

'the referee will add on.'

This is awful!

lt's like the end of the world!

'lf Arsenal ARE to lose the Championship,

'having had such a lead at one time,

'it's somewhat poetic justice

'that they have the result

'even though they're not to win it.'

Oh, shut up, Pleat.

[Door buzzer again]

'You can see we're now

'well into time added on.'

Will you please, please, please, please

please just fucking fuck off!

You have arrived during the worst 60 seconds of my life

and l don't want to see you!

[Slams window shut]

l ask you! What sort of berk would do that?

You'd just about forgive an alien from Planet Tharg

but even then, you'd...

Where you going?

You're mad! You might miss something!

'Adams is after his man.

'But Barnes will not be denied.

'Yes, he will, by Richardson.

'Down and injured.

'Streaming forward now

'in what will be their last attack.

'Good ball by Dixon, finding Smith.

'To Thomas.

PA-A-A-A-A-AUL!

'Charging through the midfield, Thomas!'

'lt's up for grabs now...

'Thomas!

'Right at the end.'

A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!

'An unbelievable climax

'to the League season!'

A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!

Mickey Thomas!

Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh!

Oh...

How much injury time is there?

They've had two minutes already.

They'll go straight up the other end

and score.

[Football commentary]

[Whistle]

'That's the final whistle.

'Arsenal, the Champions.'

And Ashworth has done it!

Arsenal!

Arsenal!

We are the Champions!

YEAH!

[Tumultuous cheering]

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road

# We'll be lovers once again

# On the bright side of the road

YES!

# Little darling, come with me

# You can help me share my load

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road...#

l KNEW we'd do it.

l had this feeling.

Oh, yeah?

You're a lying bastard.

No, no, honestly.

On the surface,

l was all negativity and doubt.

But on the inside, you gotta believe, haven't you?

# Baby, some time

# l feel some time, l don't know why...

[Chanting football songs]

# Let's enjoy it while we can

# Let's enjoy it while we can

# Help me sing my song

# Help me sing my song

# Little darling, follow me

# To the bright side of the road

# From the dark end of the street

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road

# To the bright side of the road... #

[Cheering and singing]

l AM sorry.

No.

No, thank YOU.

l wouldn't have missed this for the world!

PAUL!

Friend of yours?

A guy l work with.

He's enjoying himself.

Yeah.

l've never seen him so happy.

[Paul] When l think back

to the 26th of May, 1 989 now,

it's impossible to explain

exactly what happened to either of us.

All three of us if you count the team.

But l do know this -

my relationship with Arsenal changed that night.

lt was as if l'd jumped on to the shoulders of the team

and they'd carried me into the light

that had suddenly shone down on all of us.

And the lift they gave me

enabled be to part company with them in some ways.

We still see each other all the time

and l still love them and hate them.

But l have my own life now.

My successes and failures

aren't necessarily linked up with theirs.

That's got to be a good thing, l suppose.

Life's never gonna be this good again.

Fuck off. Don't start on me.

No, you don't get...

- What's his name? - Michael Thomas.

You don't get Michael Thomas moments in real life.

You don't get many in football, either.

l'm not in such a state, am l?

l didn't need saving after all.

What?

Let's not get carried away.

You're still a tragic human being.

Do we look particularly tragic tonight?

Didn't see many Miss Jean Brodies

leaping around the streets.

All too busy writing out tomorrow's lesson plans.

Where did you find the term ''lesson plan''?

You've never planned a lesson.

l've got better things to do.

Oh, is that right?

ls, er, is George Graham really horrible?

Why?

No reason.

Has somebody else noticed the resemblance?

Yeah. My fifth-formers.

Hah! He has the reputation

of being mean and dour

and unapproachable and...

OK, OK. Thank you, Paul.

l think l get the message.

And driven!

# l think l'm going back

# To the things l learned so well

# ln my youth

# l think l'm returning to...

# Those days when l was young enough

# To know the truth

# Now there are no games

# To only pass the time

# No more electric trains

# No more trees to climb

# But thinking young and growing older

# ls no sin

# And l can play

# The game of life to win

# l can recall a time...

# When l wasn't ashamed

# To reach out to a friend

# Now l think l've got...

# A lot more than just my toys to lend

# Now there's more to do

# Than watch my sail boats glide

# And every day can be...

# A magic carpet ride

# A little bit of courage

# ls all we lack

# So catch me if you can...

# l'm going back #