Original subtitles

l had a word with the Governors.

They'll be happy to interview you

for Head of Year.

Thanks, Ted.

Ted...l'm not planning to make a habit of this

if that's what you're worried about.

lt's something out of the ordinary for me.

Just be prepared, OK?

School Governors can be a funny lot.

[Radio] '..Still Middlesborough nil,

'Arsenal nil...'

You're kidding. No way.

Can't afford anywhere else.

N5's not the only place in the world, you know.

Sarah, you know that's not true.

You hardly hear anything, most games.

How often do they play?

Once a month.

- Something like that. - Right.

Do they leave much mess?

No. Shall l leave you to look around?

Thanks, yeah.

What does it matter how close to the ground you live

as long as you can come to the games?

When l was a kid, l read this...

story about what used to happen round here

on Cup Final days if Arsenal were playing.

They'd have this procession.

The women and kids dressed up in fancy dress

and led the men going to Wembley to the station.

l lived in Maidenhead.

- What did we have there? - Money, decent schools,

holidays abroad, enough food.

Yeah. You're right, yeah.

l was lucky.

But l was rootless, too.

l didn't have anything like that.

Nothing l could be proud of,

nothing l can look back on and feel sentimental about

except telly programmes and pop music.

But it's different here.

Anyway...it's close to the tube.

lt's 50 minutes from the West End.

lt's not far from school.

l'm not prepared

to indulge your fantasies.

The best thing for you

would be to get further away,

not a few yards nearer.

- lt doesn't feel like that. - Tough.

[Agent] ls there a problem?

- No. - No!

[Sarah] lt's a lovely house. Really.

lt's just the view.

[Radio] 'So George Graham...'

Tell me again what was wrong

with that place in... Creighton Avenue.

The one with the garden.

'Despite all their control, Arsenal...'

l'm talking to myself.

Somewhere a bit further north, anyway.

Bounds Green?

'John Lukic prepares

to play it downfield...'

Watford?

'..lnto the Middlesborough half...'

How about Darlington? There's a team there.

'Goal!'

YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Helsinki. Helsinki United

are really good this season.

[Paul sings] One Martin Hayes!

There's only one Martin Hayes!

One Martin...

[Man] So, Paul...

Confident?

Sorry, not about the job.

About what's going on down the road.

Arsenal. My boy tells me you're a fan.

Oh, right.

Well, er...so far, so good.

Season ticket holder?

Yes.

Whereabouts?

Er, North Bank.

Right, shall we, um...?

Who d'you think we should sign?

Think we need a new striker?

Er...

l'm delighted we didn't get Kerry Dixon.

Ray... Ray, l think we should, um...

Oh, sorry, Ted.

Once you get going, it's hard to stop.

We know all about your teaching abilities.

What extra-mural activites

are you involved in?

[Ray] Paul's just coached

the Under-1 4s to the Cup Final.

My Nigel thinks you should be England Manager.

Might be a more suitable position than Head of Year.

l did the school play last summer and...

Who've we got in the final?

Parkside?

Are they any good?

Pretty good.

And l've been very much involved

in the pastoral side of things

as a form teacher.

And we understand that, um,

you're an expectant father.

Um...yes.

[Ray] That's one

of the extra-mural activities

you forgot to mention, Paul.

Chatting up other members of staff.

MORE than chatting them up.

You've got good taste, l'll give you that.

'As we reach the final Saturday

'of the League season,

'we're not sure of the destiny of the League title.

'Arsenal are favourites...'

[Phone rings]

'Both sides must keep winning.

[Phone continues to ring]

'Defeat for Liverpool at Wimbledon this afternoon

'and a win for Arsenal against Derby...'

Hello? Oh, hello, Ted.

'..when they meet Wimbledon.'

No, just watching Saint and Greavesie.

Yeah, home to Derby.

'..At Anfield...'

Thank you.

'..On May the 26th.'

Oh. ..Oh, right.

l wasn't really expecting it, to be honest.

lt didn't go brilliantly, did it?

Oh, is she?

Well, no...

l think she'd make a very good Head of Year.

Yeah.

Look, thanks...

[Door slams]

Thanks for letting me know.

[Toilet flushes]

No, l'd have swapped it

for three points this afternoon anyway.

Cheers, Ted.

When was the last time

you felt this nervous about a League game?

l dunno.

1 971 , l should think.

Two home wins, could be Champions Tuesday night.

lmagine.

What we gonna do?

Drink, l expect.

Can't think about it in bed at night

otherwise l can't sleep.

Champions!

Take back everything you said about me.

l will. Tuesday night.

This is the worst day of my life.

1 8 fucking years and they blow it

on the last weekend of the season.

Come on, Paul, it's only half-time.

lt's only one-nil.

Doesn't matter.

They've blown it.

Knew they would, didn't l?

Useless bastards!

l am sorry.

Yeah, thanks.

How are you feeling?

Sick.

l just wasn't expecting it,

not today, anyway.

They had to tell you some time.

Tell me what?

What have we been talking about?

What have YOU been talking about?

The job!

The job?! You think l'd be this upset

about a stupid, poxy job interview?

We lost at home to Derby today. We've blown it!

When are you gonna wake up to yourself?

Wake up to myself? l AM bloody awake!

l wish l wasn't.

l want to go to sleep

for the next ten seasons.

Seasons. l am sick to death

of hearing about bloody seasons!

We live our lives in years, Paul.

January through to December.

Not all of us.

Yes, all of us. Even you.

Do you understand what today meant?

You know how long l've been waiting for this?

Yes, l do. 1 8 years.

Yeah, 1 8 years!

l've wanted Arsenal to win the League

longer than l've wanted anything.

l've been after that Head of Year job

for about two weeks.

You think l'd care about that more?

No, you care more about one team

scoring more than another.

You thought l came to comfort you about that?

For a moment, yeah.

l credited you with imagination.

Thought you might understand.

lt's only a game.

DON'T SAY THAT!

Please! That is the worst,

most stupid thing anyone could say!

lt quite clearly isn't only a game.

lf it was, d'you honestly think l'd care this much?

Eh?

1 8 years!

1 8...years!

D'you know what you wanted

1 8 years ago?

Or ten? Or five?

Did you wanna be Head of Year

at a North London comprehensive?

l doubt if you've wanted anything for that long.

And if you had,

and if you'd spent three months

thinking that finally you were gonna get it

and just when you think it's there,

it's taken away from you!

l don't care what it is -

a car, a job, an Oscar.

The baby.

Then you'd understand

how l was feeling tonight.

But there isn't and you don't, so...

So what? So...fuck off?

Go home? Leave you alone?

Whatever.

There isn't anything l've wanted for 1 8 years

because l was a kid

lf l did still want the same things, l'd have gone wrong.

l don't want to marry David Cassidy,

have bigger tits,

do well in my mock 'O's.

l've stopped worrying about all that.

Maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing.

Maybe everyone should want something

they've always wanted.

l don't know what l've been thinking of.

How d'you mean?