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Dre: When you've been with
your partner for 20-plus years,
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00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:05,669
you know how to make them happy.
3
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:06,959
Hello.
Hi.
4
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,499
I know Tuesdays
are long for you, so...
5
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,499
[ Gasps ] Oh!
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:15,249
For me?
Yes.
Just for you.
7
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:16,709
Oh, my goodness.
8
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,209
Look at this!
9
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:18,880
Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:21,919
My mother has taken the twins
and Devante to the movies.
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00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,209
[ Gasps ]
So, we're alone?
12
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:24,880
No.
13
00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:26,619
You're alone.
14
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,709
I'm gonna go run some errands,
so the house is yours.
15
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:30,379
Oh, I love you.
Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,040
I love you, too.
17
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,499
What are you... What are you
still doing here?
18
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,619
Oh.
I'm gonna get some nuts.
19
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,579
Okay, get out.
Get out.
Okay.
20
00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:38,669
You also know
how to do right by them.
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00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:39,789
[ Chuckles ]
Dad.
Huh?
22
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,499
This is the best gift ever!
23
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,669
I didn't even think you knew
24
00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:45,500
I wanted to
start throwing pottery.
25
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,619
Oh, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
26
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,460
Happy birthday, son.
27
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,619
And you definitely know
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00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:57,210
how to get them
in a certain mood.
29
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,500
What are you up to?
30
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,499
[ Ginuwine's "Pony" plays ]
What?
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00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,709
♪ Yeah ♪
32
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,829
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
33
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,709
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
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00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,829
We got 10 minutes.
Let's go.
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00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,919
When you know someone that well,
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00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,669
you also know
how to blow their world up.
37
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,919
But in the best relationships,
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00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,669
you choose
not to push those buttons.
39
00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:24,539
I got Devante
into the nature preschool.
40
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,619
They make their own goat milk.
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00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,919
♪♪
42
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,920
Even if it feels like
they're daring you to.
43
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:37,669
♪♪
44
00:01:37,670 --> 00:01:38,789
What do you mean we got in?
45
00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,579
Okay, we didn't get him in,
46
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:43,169
but we got us
an interview.
[ Sighs ]
47
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:46,669
Devante's gonna be on the cover
of that brochure by spring.
48
00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,879
It's an environmental preschool,
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00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,579
with an emphasis
on social justice.
50
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,079
We are social justice.
51
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,039
Okay, why can't we just
have my mother take care of him
52
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,249
until it's time
to go to kindergarten?
53
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:02,749
Unh-uh. I'm getting too old
to watch a baby full-time.
54
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:06,709
Last week, I lost him at
the playground for 20 minutes.
55
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,710
What?
Ruby!
56
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,959
It's fine.
57
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,789
I found him asleep
in a tire swing
58
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:15,709
while I was talking to
a fine-ass park ranger.
59
00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,619
[ Chuckling ] Hey. Ooh.
60
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:18,669
See?
61
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,539
Why can't he go to
the same preschool
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00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:21,579
the other kids went to?
63
00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:23,619
Because we already did
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00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:24,919
the super structured
preschool...
[ Groans ]
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00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:28,619
that focuses on memorization
and repetition.
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00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:31,999
Devante is creative, like I was.
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00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,999
He likes to get his hands
in the dirt.
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00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,879
Devante's gonna thrive
at a school like this,
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00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,829
with no schedule,
no dress code.
[ Chuckles ]
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00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:44,669
He gets to walk in the freedom
of his own knowledge path.
71
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:47,580
Okay, yeah,
but will he learn anything?
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00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,419
This is about
what he needs to unlearn, Dre.
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00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:52,829
♪♪
74
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:54,419
[ Radar beeping ]
75
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:55,579
Captain.
76
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,619
The enemy's preparing
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00:02:57,620 --> 00:02:58,919
to launch a hippie preschool.
78
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,749
Sir, it's the silent meditation
retreat all over again.
79
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:02,959
Prepare the torpedoes.
80
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,249
We need to go back to shore!
81
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,999
We need to fire without thinking
about the consequences.
82
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,879
Stand down, Lieutenant.
83
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,669
We've got to think about
the greater good.
84
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:13,709
The right move now is...
85
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,500
placation.
86
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:17,789
Okay.
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00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,459
I think you made
the right choice.
88
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,499
Ah, yes.
89
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,709
[ Clears throat ]
90
00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:24,879
I am gonna go
confirm our interview.
91
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,579
And I am going to order me
some therapy Jordans.
92
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:29,619
I...
93
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,459
I'm not even hungry anymore.
94
00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:33,619
Goat milk?
95
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:34,919
Disgusting.
96
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,789
Big news on Instagram.
97
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:37,829
Principal Biggs busted
98
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,539
Emily Copeland
and Cameron Carter's
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00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:40,579
eighth grade prank.
100
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:41,250
How'd that happen?
101
00:03:41,251 --> 00:03:43,079
They posted about it
with the hashtags
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00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,709
"#EighthGradePrank"
and "#We'veGotABiggsProblem."
103
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,829
Mm. That's why
my account is private.
104
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:51,620
Having zero followers is not
the same as it being private.
105
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:57,249
I couldn't help but overhear
you two talking about pranks.
106
00:03:57,250 --> 00:04:00,749
You know, my year, we planned
the eighth grade prank
107
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:02,919
to end all eighth grade pranks.
108
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,119
How come we never heard of it?
109
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,789
My grease man's appendix burst.
110
00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:08,789
So we couldn't execute.
111
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,919
But if we had,
112
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,879
imagine how far I could've
ridden that momentum.
113
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,539
Prom king.
114
00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,539
College mascot.
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00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,669
President.
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00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:20,459
[ Scoffs ]
From a prank?
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00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,040
Yes.
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00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:23,079
Whoever pulls off
the eighth grade prank
119
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,669
starts high school with
a cool factor you can't buy.
120
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:30,169
But I can give it to you.
121
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,619
You can use my old prank plan.
122
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:33,709
Oh.
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00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:34,829
Might be nice to have a legacy
124
00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:36,249
other than people
on the news saying,
125
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,879
"She seemed
like the quiet girl."
126
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:38,880
See?
127
00:04:38,881 --> 00:04:42,209
Let me help you become legends.
128
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:45,209
Consider it my, um...
graduation gift.
129
00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,879
Uh, you said you were
gonna get me a chain.
130
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,420
I'll also get you a chain.
131
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,379
We're in.
Absolutely.
132
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,959
Alright.
We've got to come up
with a cool hashtag for this.
133
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,709
Oh, Friend.
134
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,169
[ Sighs ]
135
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:03,789
So, I've decided
the Novo Nordisk
136
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:06,579
"Get Real About Diabetes"
campaign
137
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:07,709
will be run by Josh.
138
00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,249
- Hey.
- Seriously?
139
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,999
But Josh knows
nothing about diabetes.
140
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,500
You know who does?
141
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,709
Uh, wow.
You're really setting traps.
142
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,879
I have diabetes.
143
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,289
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Does your family know?
144
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:25,209
I'm not ashamed of
having type 2 diabetes.
145
00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,169
Everybody thinks
it's for your grandparents,
146
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:28,999
but a young cat like me
can get it, too.
147
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,079
Charlie: Oh, I see.
148
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,999
So, as long as you
take your medicine,
149
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,039
then you won't age,
like vampires
150
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,459
or those hikers
I saw trapped in ice.
151
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:40,209
No, Charlie. It's more than
just medication, okay?
Uh-huh.
152
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,999
It's about diet and exercise.
153
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,669
See? There's a lot of
misinformation out there.
154
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,999
Mm. So...
155
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,169
you want the campaign?
156
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,879
I don't think he wants
the campaign.
157
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,999
Yes, I want the campaign!
158
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,919
Okay. Okay.
Look, I-I...
I'm sorry.
159
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,039
I'm a little worked up
160
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,119
because I have a tour
later on today
161
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,959
for this Manson Family
preschool that Bow likes.
162
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,919
And I can't tell her
why I hate it without...
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00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:05,959
pushing the button.
Ah.
164
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,879
- [ Chuckles ]
- Oh, the button.
165
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,959
The button, am I right?
166
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,249
W-What's the button?
167
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:14,919
It's that thing you know
that will cause a fight.
168
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,249
So, even though it's true,
you can't say it.
169
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:21,119
Like when you tell a woman, "You
sound just like your mother."
170
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,289
Or when you say to her,
171
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:25,789
"You've used all your words
for today."
172
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,879
- What?
- Or when you ask her,
173
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,829
"Why does your sister
look better than you
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00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:30,999
when she's
three years older?"
175
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,960
- Mm-hmm.
- Exactly.
176
00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:33,209
And Bow's button is
177
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:36,419
pointing out that she's into
stuff that only white people do,
178
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:40,079
even if it is stuff
only white people do.
179
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,829
But, Dre,
you love the stuff that we do.
180
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:42,959
Only the good stuff.
181
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,419
Golf, burrata,
generational wealth.
182
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:47,209
But this preschool...
Oh, man, that's hard cider,
183
00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:50,289
lacrosse,
grown people playing tag.
184
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:53,829
Eh, but that's beside
the point, okay?
185
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,209
Bow is biracial,
186
00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:58,379
and she grew up struggling
with the ideas of identity,
187
00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:01,459
so to hit her there...
Now, that's below the belt.
188
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:05,379
That's just asking for a fight,
and it is not worth it.
189
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,079
Well, it is sort of funny,
though.
190
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,249
I mean, you want to help America
"Get Real About Diabetes"...
191
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,620
Mm-hmm.
but you won't get real
with your own wife.
192
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:16,959
Wow, that sounds like
it's something.
193
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,119
Mm.
Did one of you guys
write that down?
194
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,999
Nope.
Uh...
195
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,999
Why don't we have an assistant
in here, huh?
196
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,789
Oh. Oh, yeah.
197
00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:26,079
I remember.
198
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,959
Mm.
199
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,789
Alright.
200
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:30,959
Bow...
Huh?
201
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,919
Where's the classroom?
202
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,959
You're standing in it!
203
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,209
What?
This is it!
204
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,879
I don't know, Bow.
Hi, guys.
205
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,830
I don't know.
206
00:07:38,831 --> 00:07:40,119
Oh. Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
207
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,039
What?
Look, I know...
I know this is uncomfortable.
208
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,249
Look at me, sweetie.
I...
209
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:46,119
I know this makes you
uncomfortable, okay?
210
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,039
But Devante's
gonna love it here.
211
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,209
[ Bugle sounds ]
[ Gasps ]
212
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:50,210
What was that?
Ah.
213
00:07:50,211 --> 00:07:52,079
Teacher Phoenix is ready for us.
214
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,419
Oh, my God.
That sound makes my soul sing.
215
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,999
We need to make
a good impression.
216
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,379
Eh...
I hope we do.
Come on. Come on, babe.
217
00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:00,539
I tried to go into
the interview with an open mind
218
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:03,919
because anything was better
than pushing the button.
219
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,039
[ Chicken clucking ]
220
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,040
What?!
221
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,789
Yo!
222
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:09,249
♪♪
223
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:12,830
I'm gonna burn this place
to the ground.
224
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,379
I'd ground my teeth
to the nubs on the ride home,
225
00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,829
but I succeeded in not saying
anything I would regret later.
226
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,169
He's so happy.
Right.
227
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,170
Dre.
Hmm?
228
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,329
That place brought back
229
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:29,249
so many memories
from commune school.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
230
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,250
We used to go out into
the forest
231
00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:31,379
and we would collect flowers
232
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,539
and then we would
bring them back.
233
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:36,039
Mm-hmm.
And we would learn about
their properties
234
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,289
and their life cycles.
Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:41,119
But the main thing
that I took away
236
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,039
was the courage that I got
237
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,379
from being able to explore
238
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,249
and figure out problems
on my own
239
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:49,379
with kindness
and empathy.
Mm-hmm.
240
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:53,119
Dre, I know... I know
that you have concerns
241
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,329
about it not being
a traditional classroom,
242
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:59,919
but the truth is that
a non-traditional education
243
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,249
did pretty well for me,
244
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:05,119
Dr. Rainbow Johnson, MD,
right?
245
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,289
Mm-hmm.
246
00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:08,289
Did you see
that they had chickens?
247
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,879
We can sign them out
for the weekend.
248
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:11,460
How amazing would it be
249
00:09:11,461 --> 00:09:15,209
to have a little chicken
running around the house?
250
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,209
Ooh!
Be still, my heart.
251
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,249
Sir, she's not backing down!
252
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,879
We've got to make a move now!
253
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,249
Evasive maneuvers, sir.
254
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,249
Uh, pretend to get a phone call.
255
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,419
No, you fool!
256
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:27,539
We've got to do something now,
257
00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:31,079
or Devante's first friend
will be a chicken!
258
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,999
Fire torpedoes!
259
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,879
♪♪
260
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,289
I'm sorry, Bow,
261
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:38,209
but that's some white [bleep]
262
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,289
[ Explosion ]
263
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,499
[ Alarm blaring ]
264
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,039
[ Exhales sharply ]
We've been hit!
265
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,919
♪♪
266
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,959
Did he just say that to me?
267
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,079
♪♪
268
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,329
Alright, we're 72 hours out.
269
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:52,499
What's our status?
270
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,419
I was able to get a lot
of the stuff on your list.
271
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:57,209
The PVC pipe,
the nurse's uniform...
Mm-hmm.
272
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,169
But we couldn't get
the fiber optic cable
273
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,379
or the fireworks.
274
00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,499
Plus, Mason doesn't know
kung fu,
275
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,329
and I'm a little racist
for assuming that he did.
276
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,419
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
277
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:10,919
No one is waving
the white flag yet.
[ Sighs ]
278
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,750
I've got an idea.
279
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:17,379
I'm getting the old band
back together.
280
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:20,249
Jack, Diane, this is the team
281
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,419
that is gonna write your names
282
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,209
in the Valley Glen
history books.
283
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:27,709
Meet Root Beer,
Milkshake, and Lemonade.
284
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,249
Now, you're probably wondering
how we got the codenames.
285
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,249
Your favorite drinks?
And...
286
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,999
Maybe.
287
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,119
Root Beer's our scrounger.
288
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,289
Milkshake is on tech.
289
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,919
And Lemonade?
290
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,119
She's the wild card.
291
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,119
I specifically requested
to be the wild card.
292
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,960
Lemonade, you're out.
293
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,919
Mm. Sorry, Tammy.
294
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:48,580
See you at spin?
295
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,669
Uh, hey, Root Beer,
where you going?
296
00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:54,249
[ Door opens ]
She's kind of my ride,
so...
297
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,289
If we pull this off...
[ Door closes ]
298
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:57,419
you will be getting free rides
299
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,379
for the rest of your life.
300
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:03,169
[ Exhales sharply ]
301
00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:05,169
You know just the thing
to say to me,
302
00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:06,879
you crazy son of a bitch.
303
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,080
[ Chuckles ]
304
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:10,329
I did it.
305
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:12,289
I pushed the button.
306
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:14,579
But she needed to hear it,
because if she didn't hear it,
307
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:17,499
Devante wouldn't have been able
to read before he was 15.
308
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,499
Well, you did the right thing
by your son, Dre.
309
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,289
I'm sure one day he'll recover
310
00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:23,209
from being
the product of a divorce.
311
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,329
My sons did.
312
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:25,330
Except the ones
who tried to kill me.
313
00:11:25,331 --> 00:11:26,499
They, uh, they struggled.
314
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,039
Okay, look, I know it was harsh,
315
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,329
but you guys were right.
316
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:31,539
I needed to tell the truth.
317
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:33,249
You didn't just tell the truth.
318
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,959
You punched her heart
in the crotch.
319
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:35,620
What?
320
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:38,209
Since when do you listen to us
about marriage?
321
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,539
I've been divorced seven times,
322
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,499
Josh has only been with
a blow-up doll,
323
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,169
and Charlie's Charlie.
324
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,119
He's right, Dre.
I'm Charlie.
325
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,249
Uh...
326
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,539
Well, what was I supposed to do?
327
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,539
Invade Russia in the winter,
328
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,499
uh, smoke at a gas station,
329
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,419
give your mistress
your home address.
330
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,669
Anything except push the button.
331
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:58,169
Well, I don't think
it was that bad.
332
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,039
It's her button, Dre.
333
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,999
Her button.
334
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,039
You know what?
335
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,419
You guys are right.
336
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,579
This is on me.
337
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:09,249
I should have never
listened to you clowns.
338
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,249
Now I got to go apologize
and smooth it over.
339
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,419
Okay.
340
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:16,039
You tell Bow
my door's always open.
341
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,499
For her.
342
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,249
I don't want those kids.
343
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,579
♪♪
344
00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:22,709
I knew I put my foot in it.
345
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,329
I had to try and walk back
the things I said
346
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,079
before things got any worse.
347
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,790
Rainbow: Hi.
Hey.
348
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:31,669
Babe, look, uh,
I just want to say that, uh...
349
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:34,999
I'm sorry for stepping
over the line, you know?
350
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,670
But...
351
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:39,709
I just can't get with
the chicken-check-out place.
352
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:44,379
Hey, I [Sighs] I prefer
a more traditional school.
353
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:47,289
You know, one that has
chalkboards,
354
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:50,079
desks, a floor.
355
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:50,750
I get it.
356
00:12:50,751 --> 00:12:51,879
Mm-hmm.
I do. I get it.
357
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,079
You just want to make sure your
son has the right head start.
358
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,329
Exactly.
359
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:58,579
Yeah, that he doesn't get
held back, like you did.
360
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,539
[ Explosion, alarm blaring ]
361
00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:03,419
Captain,
we've sustained a direct hit!
362
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:05,209
Oh, that came out of nowhere!
363
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:08,880
[ Laughs ]
364
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,499
I wasn't held back.
Hmm.
365
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,169
I just did
a year of "Readiness School."
366
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:15,459
That's not a real grade.
367
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,749
Yes, it is.
368
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:20,329
It's where you get a handle on
your time management problems.
369
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,290
Yes.
370
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:22,669
That is why you always hear
371
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:25,379
the CEOs thank
their Readiness teachers.
372
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:26,380
I...
Yeah.
373
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,040
♪♪
374
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:33,749
My God! Why are you
hitting that so hard?!
375
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:37,499
Chicken walked over my shoe
at Bow's hippie preschool today,
376
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,379
so I'm taking my revenge
out on his cousin.
377
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:41,619
Well, get some revenge
in that corner,
378
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,499
or it's not gonna cook evenly.
379
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,329
[ Meat tenderizer clatters ]
380
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,619
Things got ugly
between Bow and I.
381
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:51,329
She had the nerve to bring up
my year at Readiness School.
382
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,669
What?
That year you got held back?
383
00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:56,459
It was just
time management, Mama.
384
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,169
Sure it was, baby.
385
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:58,830
Eh...
386
00:13:58,831 --> 00:14:01,539
But for her to bring it up...
387
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,249
she's hitting below the belt.
388
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,379
Yes.
389
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,959
It's one of my buttons.
390
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:07,670
See?
391
00:14:07,671 --> 00:14:09,499
That's what people like her do.
392
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:13,669
What you need to do
is jump in that elevator
393
00:14:13,670 --> 00:14:16,539
like a white child
in a skyscraper
394
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:21,749
and drag your fingers
over all of those buttons.
395
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,459
Yeah?
It's in your blood,
baby.
396
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:27,499
We come from a long line
of button-pushers.
397
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,619
Mm.
398
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:31,459
One time, your father brought
home the wrong toothpaste,
399
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:33,209
and you know
what I told him?
What?
400
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,539
[ Chuckles ]
401
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,749
"That's why you were too dumb
to get drafted."
402
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:40,619
Damn, Mama.
Over toothpaste?
403
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,379
The wrong toothpaste.
404
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,289
So, do what we do, baby.
405
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,749
No! No!
Is this a trap? Huh?
406
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,499
You've blown up
every relationship
407
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,539
that you've ever had.
408
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,749
No, I'm not gonna do it.
409
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,539
I'm gonna talk to Bow.
[ Cellphone chimes,
buzzes ]
410
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:55,789
You know, and it's...
411
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,419
She made a deposit
at the school.
412
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,000
Oh, hell no!
413
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,669
[ Chuckles ]
414
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:05,419
I told you that's what she do.
415
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:09,669
♪♪
416
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:10,919
Ah.
Perfect timing.
417
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,579
Root Beer and Milkshake
are already in place.
418
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,289
Are you guys ready
to become legends?
419
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,959
Yeah. Totally.
So ready.
420
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,709
But...
Heather Williams is
having a graduation party.
421
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:24,379
Mm. And her camp friends
are gonna be there.
422
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:25,669
Camp friends, Junior.
423
00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:27,749
But we're already in motion.
424
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,579
Milkshake only has
45 minutes of air.
425
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,419
Junior, we can't
thank you enough
426
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:33,669
for sharing your plan with us,
427
00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:36,669
but we feel we're better suited
to being cool party guests.
428
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,919
We also don't have faith in you.
429
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,709
But the tradition of the eighth
grade prank is steeped in...
430
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:44,379
She got the In-N-Out truck.
431
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,419
And a photo booth.
We out.
432
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,539
[ Sighs ]
Alright.
433
00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:50,959
♪♪
434
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,789
I can't believe
you sent that deposit
435
00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,619
without talking to me first.
436
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,539
There was a deadline.
437
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,879
We would have lost our spot
if I hadn't.
438
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,709
And you sent it
from our joint checking account
439
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,539
just to get under my skin.
440
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:05,579
No, I did it because
there was no money
441
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,789
in the 529 account
442
00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:10,709
because you didn't make it
an automatic deposit
443
00:16:10,710 --> 00:16:13,249
the way you said you would
three years ago.
444
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,619
[ Explosion ]
445
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:17,459
Captain!
Permission to light her up!
446
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,789
Oh, light her ass up!
447
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:21,749
Well, I'm sorry
that I don't want my son
448
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:24,829
going to a school
in a cult, like you did,
449
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:28,579
because your parents
were too dumb to realize
450
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:32,419
that Shaman Dave was
financing your Garden of Eden
451
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,709
by running guns.
[ Explosion ]
452
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,619
[ Rumbling, alarm blaring ]
453
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,499
Should we comment on his weight?
454
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:42,579
No, no, no, no, no.
455
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,459
We hit him where it hurts.
456
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,789
Oh, you want to talk about
parents?
457
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:51,419
'Cause we can talk about
parents.
458
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:54,539
Specifically your mama.
459
00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:56,709
Bow.
Don't talk about my mama.
460
00:16:56,710 --> 00:16:59,459
You don't want me to talk about
your mama
461
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,579
and all the friends
that she has?
462
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:04,999
'Cause your mom
has a loooot of friends.
463
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,709
Bow.
She's "friends"
with the pastor,
464
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,879
she's "friends" with the deacon,
465
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,669
she's "friends" with the usher.
466
00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:16,039
All those friends
must make you closer to God.
467
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,709
Your mom is definitely
going to Heaven.
Aaaaaah!
468
00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:22,459
Bow, don't you talk about
my mama!
469
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:23,499
[ Grunts ]
470
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:28,539
♪♪
471
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:30,329
Make me!
472
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:31,579
Oh, I will.
473
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:33,669
[ Both scream ]
474
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:36,079
In a successful,
loving marriage,
475
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,119
you get to know
the other person so well,
476
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:42,959
so intimately, that you have
the weapons to destroy them,
477
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,709
which is why you don't go there,
478
00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:48,579
because it's mutually assured
destruction.
479
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:53,579
[ Voices speaking
rapidly in reverse ]
480
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,749
Did you see the chickens?
481
00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:57,619
Okay, can I talk to you
for a second?
482
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:58,919
Yeah. What's up?
Alright.
483
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,619
Look... I'm just
not feeling this, alright?
484
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,079
I'm just worried that
485
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,079
this is the kind of school
where he could fall behind.
486
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,499
Dre, this is a really good
school for Devante.
487
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,709
Maybe.
488
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:13,829
I just want to be careful.
489
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,959
I know what it was like
in my early years,
490
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,709
and I don't ever
want any of our children
491
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,419
to feel the way that I did.
492
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,539
Yeah.
That makes sense.
493
00:18:22,540 --> 00:18:23,749
It does, and...
494
00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:25,619
[ Inhales deeply ]
495
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:26,789
maybe I'm pushing
496
00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,709
because we sent all of our other
kids to regular preschool,
497
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:30,999
and it just...
498
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,209
makes me feel like the way
I was raised was second best.
499
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:37,619
Oh, no. Babe, I don't ever
want you to feel like that.
500
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,709
I know this is a big change,
501
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,789
but you got to trust
that I wouldn't do anything
502
00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:42,959
to set Devante up for failure.
503
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,419
I know you wouldn't.
Alright?
504
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:46,709
So...
505
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,210
let's send the boy
to the chicken school.
506
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,709
The nature school.
[ Chuckles ]
507
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:52,749
Alright?
508
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,749
I know this means
a lot to you, so...
509
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,619
let's give it a try.
510
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,749
Thanks, babe.
511
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:01,119
And I promise
512
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,999
that if Devante
starts clucking the ABCs,
513
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,829
we will send him
somewhere else.
Oh.
514
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,749
Okay, yes. Yes, we will.
Okay.
515
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:08,959
Hold on one second, baby.
What you got?
516
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,959
I wanna, uh, send you clucking.
517
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,579
[ Ginuwine's "Pony" plays ]
518
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,749
Oh. Heyyy.
519
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:17,419
Okay.
520
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,379
Yes. Uh-huh.
521
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:20,669
Uh-huh.
522
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:22,709
Uh.
523
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:25,749
Behind every button
is an injury,
524
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,079
a place where your partner
525
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,959
feels disrespected, small.
Ooh!
526
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,919
I wasn't respecting
the way Bow was raised,
527
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,669
so my choices were to
keep pushing on that bruise
528
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:38,579
or try to heal it.
529
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:39,669
Ahh.
530
00:19:39,670 --> 00:19:41,669
I think I made the right choice.
531
00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:44,330
♪ Gotta be compatible ♪
532
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,249
If he were in eighth grade,
he'd only get suspended.
533
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:53,500
I may not be able to get
your father, but I got you.
534
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,079
Junior, you are not going to
believe it.
535
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,169
Everyone thinks we were
the masterminds behind your plan
536
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:01,619
and that we double-crossed you
to take the fall.
537
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:03,579
And now we're set
for high school.
538
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,619
Thank you, Junior.
Oh.
539
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,789
Don't worry about my chain.
540
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:11,459
♪♪
541
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,619
[ Grunts ]
542
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:13,789
[ Car door closes ]
543
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:16,789
[ Breathes sharply ]
544
00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,709
[ Car door opens ]
[ Laughing ]
545
00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:21,499
[ Car door closes ]
546
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,619
What's so funny?
547
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:23,620
Oh.
548
00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:25,749
They think you're a real cop.
549
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:30,539
♪♪
550
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,829
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
551
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,420
Take us to In-N-Out,
Root Beer.
[ Siren wails ]
38630
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