All language subtitles for Blackish s06e20_English

Dre: When you've been with
your partner for 20-plus years,

you know
how to make them happy.

Hello.
Hi.

I know Tuesdays
are long for you, so...

[ Gasps ] Oh!
Mm-hmm.

For me?
Yes.
Just for you.

Oh, my goodness.

Look at this!

Mm-hmm.

My mother has taken the twins
and Devante to the movies.

[ Gasps ]
So, we're alone?

No.

You're alone.

I'm gonna go run some errands,
so the house is yours.

Oh, I love you.
Mm-hmm.

I love you, too.

What are you -- What are you
still doing here?

Oh.
I'm gonna get some nuts.

Okay, get out.
Get out.
Okay.

You also know
how to do right by them.

[ Chuckles ]
Dad.
Huh?

This is
the best gift ever!

I didn't even think
you knew

I wanted to
start throwing pottery.

Oh, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

Happy birthday, son.

And you definitely know

how to get them
in a certain mood.

What are you up to?

[ Ginuwine's "Pony" plays ]
What?

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

We got 10 minutes.
Let's go.

When you know someone
that well,

you also know
how to blow their world up.

But in
the best relationships,

you choose
not to push those buttons.

I got Devante
into the nature preschool.

They make their own
goat milk.

♪♪

Even if it feels like
they're daring you to.

♪♪

What do you mean
we got in?

Okay,
we didn't get him in,

but we got us
an interview.
[ Sighs ]

Devante's gonna be on the cover
of that brochure by spring.

It's an environmental
preschool,

with an emphasis
on social justice.

We are social justice.

Okay, why can't we just
have my mother take care of him

until it's time
to go to kindergarten?

Unh-uh. I'm getting too old
to watch a baby full-time.

Last week, I lost him at
the playground for 20 minutes.

What?
Ruby!

It's fine.

I found him asleep
in a tire swing

while I was talking to
a fine-ass park ranger.

[ Chuckling ] Hey. Ooh.

See?

Why can't he go to
the same preschool

the other kids went to?

Because we already did

the super structured
preschool...
[ Groans ]

that focuses on memorization
and repetition.

Devante is creative,
like I was.

He likes to get his hands
in the dirt.

Devante's gonna thrive
at a school like this,

with no schedule,
no dress code.
[ Chuckles ]

He gets to walk in the freedom
of his own knowledge path.

Okay, yeah,
but will he learn anything?

This is about
what he needs to unlearn, Dre.

♪♪

[ Radar beeping ]

Captain.

The enemy's preparing

to launch
a hippie preschool.

Sir, it's the silent meditation
retreat all over again.

Prepare the torpedoes.

We need to go
back to shore!

We need to fire without thinking
about the consequences.

Stand down,
Lieutenant.

We've got to think about
the greater good.

The right move now is...

placation.

Okay.

I think you made
the right choice.

Ah, yes.

[ Clears throat ]

I am gonna go
confirm our interview.

And I am going to order me
some therapy Jordans.

I...

I'm not even hungry
anymore.

Goat milk?

Disgusting.

Big news on Instagram.

Principal Biggs busted

Emily Copeland
and Cameron Carter's

eighth grade prank.

How'd that happen?

They posted about it
with the hashtags

"#EighthGradePrank"
and "#We'veGotABiggsProblem."

Mm. That's why
my account is private.

Having zero followers is not
the same as it being private.

I couldn't help but overhear
you two talking about pranks.

You know, my year, we planned
the eighth grade prank

to end
all eighth grade pranks.

How come
we never heard of it?

My grease man's
appendix burst.

So we couldn't execute.

But if we had,

imagine how far I could've
ridden that momentum.

Prom king.

College mascot.

President.

[ Scoffs ]
From a prank?

Yes.

Whoever pulls off
the eighth grade prank

starts high school with
a cool factor you can't buy.

But I can give it
to you.

You can use
my old prank plan.

Oh.

Might be nice to
have a legacy

other than people
on the news saying,

"She seemed
like the quiet girl."

See?

Let me help you
become legends.

Consider it my, um...
graduation gift.

Uh, you said you were
gonna get me a chain.

I'll also
get you a chain.

We're in.
Absolutely.

Alright.
We've got to come up
with a cool hashtag for this.

Oh, Friend.

[ Sighs ]

So, I've decided
the Novo Nordisk

"Get Real About Diabetes"
campaign

will be run by Josh.

-Hey.
-Seriously?

But Josh knows
nothing about diabetes.

You know who does?

Uh, wow.
You're really setting traps.

I have diabetes.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Does your family know?

I'm not ashamed of
having type 2 diabetes.

Everybody thinks
it's for your grandparents,

but a young cat like me
can get it, too.

Charlie: Oh, I see.

So, as long as you
take your medicine,

then you won't age,
like vampires

or those hikers
I saw trapped in ice.

No, Charlie. It's more than
just medication, okay?
Uh-huh.

It's about diet
and exercise.

See? There's a lot of
misinformation out there.

Mm. So...

you want the campaign?

I don't think he wants
the campaign.

Yes,
I want the campaign!

Okay. Okay.
Look, I-I --
I'm sorry.

I'm a little worked up

because I have a tour
later on today

for this Manson Family
preschool that Bow likes.

And I can't tell her
why I hate it without...

pushing the button.
Ah.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Oh, the button.

The button, am I right?

W-What's the button?

It's that thing you know
that will cause a fight.

So, even though it's true,
you can't say it.

Like when you tell a woman, "You
sound just like your mother."

Or when you say to her,

"You've used all your words
for today."

-What?
-Or when you ask her,

"Why does your sister
look better than you

when she's
three years older?"

-Mm-hmm.
-Exactly.

And Bow's button is

pointing out that she's into
stuff that only white people do,

even if it is stuff
only white people do.

But, Dre,
you love the stuff that we do.

Only the good stuff.

Golf, burrata,
generational wealth.

But this preschool --
oh, man, that's hard cider,

lacrosse,
grown people playing tag.

Eh, but that's beside
the point, okay?

Bow is biracial,

and she grew up struggling
with the ideas of identity,

so to hit her there --
now, that's below the belt.

That's just asking for a fight,
and it is not worth it.

Well, it is sort of funny,
though.

I mean, you want to help America
"Get Real About Diabetes"...

Mm-hmm.
...but you won't get real
with your own wife.

Wow, that sounds like
it's something.

Mm.
Did one of you guys
write that down?

Nope.
Uh...

Why don't we have an assistant
in here, huh?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

I remember.

Mm.

Alright.

Bow...
Huh?

where's the classroom?

You're standing in it!

What?
This is it!

I don't know, Bow.
Hi, guys.

I don't know.

Oh. Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

What?
Look, I know --
I know this is uncomfortable.

Look at me, sweetie.
I --

I know this makes you
uncomfortable, okay?

But Devante's
gonna love it here.

[ Bugle sounds ]
[ Gasps ]

What was that?
Ah.

Teacher Phoenix
is ready for us.

Oh, my God.
That sound makes my soul sing.

We need to make
a good impression.

Eh --
I hope we do.
Come on. Come on, babe.

I tried to go into
the interview with an open mind

because anything was better
than pushing the button.

[ Chicken clucking ]

What?!

Yo!

♪♪

I'm gonna burn this place
to the ground.

I'd ground my teeth
to the nubs on the ride home,

but I succeeded in not saying
anything I would regret later.

He's so happy.
Right.

Dre.
Hmm?

That place brought back

so many memories
from commune school.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

We used to go out into
the forest

and we would
collect flowers

and then we would
bring them back.

Mm-hmm.
And we would learn about
their properties

and their life cycles.
Mm-hmm.

But the main thing
that I took away

was the courage that I got

from being able to explore

and figure out problems
on my own

with kindness
and empathy.
Mm-hmm.

Dre, I know -- I know
that you have concerns

about it not being
a traditional classroom,

but the truth is that
a non-traditional education

did pretty well for me,

Dr. Rainbow Johnson, MD,
right?

Mm-hmm.

Did you see
that they had chickens?

We can sign them out
for the weekend.

How amazing would it be

to have a little chicken
running around the house?

Ooh!
Be still, my heart.

Sir,
she's not backing down!

We've got to
make a move now!

Evasive maneuvers, sir.

Uh, pretend to
get a phone call.

No, you fool!

We've got to do something now,

or Devante's first friend
will be a chicken!

Fire torpedoes!

♪♪

I'm sorry, Bow,

but that's
some white [bleep]

[ Explosion ]

[ Alarm blaring ]

[ Exhales sharply ]
We've been hit!

♪♪

Did he just say that to me?

♪♪

Alright,
we're 72 hours out.

What's our status?

I was able to get a lot
of the stuff on your list.

The PVC pipe,
the nurse's uniform...
Mm-hmm.

But we couldn't get
the fiber optic cable

or the fireworks.

Plus, Mason doesn't know
kung fu,

and I'm a little racist
for assuming that he did.

Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

No one is waving
the white flag yet.
[ Sighs ]

I've got an idea.

I'm getting the old band
back together.

Jack, Diane,
this is the team

that is gonna
write your names

in the Valley Glen
history books.

Meet Root Beer,
Milkshake, and Lemonade.

Now, you're probably wondering
how we got the codenames.

Your favorite drinks?
And --

Maybe.

Root Beer's our scrounger.

Milkshake is on tech.

And Lemonade?

She's the wild card.

I specifically requested
to be the wild card.

Lemonade, you're out.

Mm. Sorry, Tammy.

See you at spin?

Uh, hey, Root Beer,
where you going?

[ Door opens ]
She's kind of my ride,
so...

If we pull this off...
[ Door closes ]

...you will be getting
free rides

for the rest of your life.

[ Exhales sharply ]

You know just the thing
to say to me,

you crazy son of a bitch.

[ Chuckles ]

I did it.

I pushed the button.

But she needed to hear it,
because if she didn't hear it,

Devante wouldn't have been able
to read before he was 15.

Well, you did the right thing
by your son, Dre.

I'm sure one day
he'll recover

from being
the product of a divorce.

My sons did.

Except the ones
who tried to kill me.

They, uh, they struggled.

Okay, look,
I know it was harsh,

but you guys were right.

I needed to
tell the truth.

You didn't just
tell the truth.

You punched her heart
in the crotch.

What?

Since when do you listen to us
about marriage?

I've been divorced
seven times,

Josh has only been with
a blow-up doll,

and Charlie's Charlie.

He's right, Dre.
I'm Charlie.

Uh --

Well, what was I
supposed to do?

Invade Russia
in the winter,

uh, smoke at a gas station,

give your mistress
your home address.

Anything
except push the button.

Well, I don't think
it was that bad.

It's her button, Dre.

Her button.

You know what?

You guys are right.

This is on me.

I should have never
listened to you clowns.

Now I got to go apologize
and smooth it over.

Okay.

You tell Bow
my door's always open.

For her.

I don't want those kids.

♪♪

I knew I put my foot in it.

I had to try and walk back
the things I said

before things got any worse.

Rainbow: Hi.
Hey.

Babe, look, uh,
I just want to say that, uh...

I'm sorry for stepping
over the line, you know?

But...

I just can't get with
the chicken-check-out place.

Hey, I [Sighs] I prefer
a more traditional school.

You know, one that has
chalkboards,

desks, a floor.

I get it.

Mm-hmm.
I do. I get it.

You just want to make sure your
son has the right head start.

Exactly.

Yeah, that he doesn't get
held back, like you did.

[ Explosion, alarm blaring ]

Captain,
we've sustained a direct hit!

Oh, that came
out of nowhere!

[ Laughs ]

I wasn't held back.
Hmm.

I just did
a year of "Readiness School."

That's not a real grade.

Yes, it is.

It's where you get a handle on
your time management problems.

Yes.

That is why
you always hear

the CEOs thank
their Readiness teachers.

I...
Yeah.

♪♪

My God! Why are you
hitting that so hard?!

Chicken walked over my shoe
at Bow's hippie preschool today,

so I'm taking my revenge
out on his cousin.

Well, get some revenge
in that corner,

or it's not
gonna cook evenly.

[ Meat tenderizer clatters ]

Things got ugly
between Bow and I.

She had the nerve to bring up
my year at Readiness School.

What?
That year you got held back?

It was just
time management, Mama.

Sure it was, baby.

Eh --

But for her
to bring it up...

she's hitting
below the belt.

Yes.

It's one of my buttons.

See?

That's what
people like her do.

What you need to do
is jump in that elevator

like a white child
in a skyscraper

and drag your fingers
over all of those buttons.

Yeah?
It's in your blood,
baby.

We come from a long line
of button-pushers.

Mm.

One time, your father brought
home the wrong toothpaste,

and you know
what I told him?
What?

[ Chuckles ]

"That's why you were too dumb
to get drafted."

Damn, Mama.
Over toothpaste?

The wrong toothpaste.

So, do what we do, baby.

No! No!
Is this a trap? Huh?

You've blown up
every relationship

that you've ever had.

No,
I'm not gonna do it.

I'm gonna talk to Bow.
[ Cellphone chimes,
buzzes ]

You know, and it's...

She made a deposit
at the school.

Oh, hell no!

[ Chuckles ]

I told you
that's what she do.

♪♪

Ah.
Perfect timing.

Root Beer and Milkshake
are already in place.

Are you guys ready
to become legends?

Yeah. Totally.
So ready.

But --
Heather Williams is
having a graduation party.

Mm. And her camp friends
are gonna be there.

Camp friends, Junior.

But we're already
in motion.

Milkshake only has
45 minutes of air.

Junior, we can't
thank you enough

for sharing your plan
with us,

but we feel we're better suited
to being cool party guests.

We also don't have faith
in you.

But the tradition of the eighth
grade prank is steeped in --

She got
the In-N-Out truck.

And a photo booth.
We out.

[ Sighs ]
Alright.

♪♪

I can't believe
you sent that deposit

without
talking to me first.

There was a deadline.

We would have lost our spot
if I hadn't.

And you sent it
from our joint checking account

just to get under my skin.

No, I did it because
there was no money

in the 529 account

because you didn't make it
an automatic deposit

the way you said you would
three years ago.

[ Explosion ]

Captain!
Permission to light her up!

Oh, light her ass up!

Well, I'm sorry
that I don't want my son

going to a school
in a cult, like you did,

because your parents
were too dumb to realize

that Shaman Dave was
financing your Garden of Eden

by running guns.
[ Explosion ]

[ Rumbling, alarm blaring ]

Should we comment
on his weight?

No, no, no, no, no.

We hit him
where it hurts.

Oh, you want to talk about
parents?

'Cause we can talk about
parents.

Specifically your mama.

Bow.
Don't talk about my mama.

You don't want me to talk about
your mama

and all the friends
that she has?

'Cause your mom
has a loooot of friends.

Bow.
She's "friends"
with the pastor,

she's "friends"
with the deacon,

she's "friends"
with the usher.

All those friends
must make you closer to God.

Your mom is definitely
going to Heaven.
Aaaaaah!

Bow, don't you talk about
my mama!

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

Make me!

Oh, I will.

[ Both scream ]

In a successful,
loving marriage,

you get to know
the other person so well,

so intimately, that you have
the weapons to destroy them,

which is why
you don't go there,

because it's mutually assured
destruction.

[ Voices speaking
rapidly in reverse ]

Did you see
the chickens?

Okay, can I talk to you
for a second?

Yeah. What's up?
Alright.

Look...I'm just
not feeling this, alright?

I'm just worried that

this is the kind of school
where he could fall behind.

Dre, this is a really good
school for Devante.

Maybe.

I just
want to be careful.

I know what it was like
in my early years,

and I don't ever
want any of our children

to feel the way
that I did.

Yeah.
That makes sense.

It does, and...

[ Inhales deeply ]

...maybe I'm pushing

because we sent all of our other
kids to regular preschool,

and it just...

makes me feel like the way
I was raised was second best.

Oh, no. Babe, I don't ever
want you to feel like that.

I know this is
a big change,

but you got to trust
that I wouldn't do anything

to set Devante up
for failure.

I know you wouldn't.
Alright?

So...

let's send the boy
to the chicken school.

The nature school.
[ Chuckles ]

Alright?

I know this means
a lot to you, so...

let's give it a try.

Thanks, babe.

And I promise

that if Devante
starts clucking the ABCs,

we will send him
somewhere else.
Oh.

Okay, yes. Yes, we will.
Okay.

Hold on one second, baby.
What you got?

I wanna, uh,
send you clucking.

[ Ginuwine's "Pony" plays ]

Oh. Heyyy.

Okay.

Yes. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh.

Behind every button
is an injury,

a place where your partner

feels disrespected, small.
Ooh!

I wasn't respecting
the way Bow was raised,

so my choices were to
keep pushing on that bruise

or try to heal it.

Ahh.

I think
I made the right choice.

♪ Gotta be compatible ♪

If he were in eighth grade,
he'd only get suspended.

I may not be able to get
your father, but I got you.

Junior, you are not going to
believe it.

Everyone thinks we were
the masterminds behind your plan

and that we double-crossed you
to take the fall.

And now we're set
for high school.

Thank you, Junior.
Oh.

Don't worry about my chain.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Car door closes ]

[ Breathes sharply ]

[ Car door opens ]
[ Laughing ]

[ Car door closes ]

What's so funny?

Oh.

They think
you're a real cop.

♪♪

Oh.
[ Chuckles ]

Take us to In-N-Out,
Root Beer.
[ Siren wails ]