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1
00:00:05,799 --> 00:00:08,064
Look at all of themakeup Bridget
bought. Can you believe it?
2
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,684
Look� fourteen dollars
for whatever this is.
3
00:00:10,708 --> 00:00:12,969
Eyelash curler.
4
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:15,038
And thank heavens
she got more lip junk.
5
00:00:15,108 --> 00:00:17,501
Lip gloss.
6
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,504
Rory, there's a ball game
on channel seven. Watch it.
7
00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:24,618
Hey, guys.
- Hey, Care Bear, look at this, this�
8
00:00:24,644 --> 00:00:26,835
You know, not now, Dad. I have
to get ready for my date with Kyle.
9
00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:29,133
Wait, that's your stuff?
- I can't believe it's already so late.
10
00:00:29,182 --> 00:00:31,155
I still have to straighten
my hair, crimp my eyelashes,
11
00:00:31,176 --> 00:00:33,121
create cheekbones out
of practically nothing
12
00:00:33,156 --> 00:00:36,240
which is totally your fault� flat faced.
13
00:00:38,263 --> 00:00:41,531
Flat� flat� I do not
have a flat face. Come on.
14
00:00:46,891 --> 00:00:48,831
Well, anyone looks flat in a toaster.
15
00:00:48,905 --> 00:00:52,047
Look Kerry, I�ve got to tell
you something in all seriousness,
16
00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,945
ever since you started
dating Kyle you've changed.
17
00:00:55,192 --> 00:00:57,658
You're different. You're more...
- More Bridgetty.
18
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,988
Rory! You�re more Bridgetesque.
19
00:01:01,602 --> 00:01:03,633
You know, how could you
compare me to Bridget?
20
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,635
Where�s my new sparkle lip gloss.
21
00:01:05,655 --> 00:01:07,622
Okay, I know I bought
new sparkle lip gloss.
22
00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:09,601
Oh my God, where�s my
new sparkle lip gloss?
23
00:01:09,631 --> 00:01:11,582
Is this it?
- He touched it all over.
24
00:01:14,688 --> 00:01:19,109
I miss the old Kerry. - The depressed
one without a boyfriend?
25
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,060
Yeah.
26
00:01:23,058 --> 00:01:25,303
Why do bad things always happen to me?
27
00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:28,124
Bridget, nothing bad
ever happens to you.
28
00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:32,575
Yeah. But today, I heard
Mom is gonna teach sex ed.
29
00:01:32,664 --> 00:01:34,613
In my class.
- It's true.
30
00:01:34,648 --> 00:01:37,966
Dad, why do bad things
happen to superficial people? - Rory!
31
00:01:38,002 --> 00:01:41,129
Rory, I don't know but I know why
bad things happen to smart alecks.
32
00:01:41,454 --> 00:01:46,377
'Smart aleck'? You know,
words hurt, Dad. Flat face.
33
00:01:49,327 --> 00:01:51,410
So, what, you're teaching sex education?
34
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:56,440
The school needed a nurse to fill in
because Miss Callahan got the 'flu.'
35
00:01:57,026 --> 00:01:59,743
Really? I heard she got knocked up.
36
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,120
So you just say �yes� without
even totally considering
37
00:02:03,177 --> 00:02:05,185
how it could completely ruin my life?
38
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:08,253
Bridget I think it's an honor your mother
is going to teach you sexual education.
39
00:02:08,316 --> 00:02:10,341
After all, she taught me.
40
00:02:16,296 --> 00:02:18,457
Do you guys not understand
what situation I'm in here?
41
00:02:18,479 --> 00:02:20,522
I mean, Donny Doyle�s coming
in this weekend to see me. - So?
42
00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:22,879
So, people already perceive my
dating Donny as a slap in the face,
43
00:02:22,915 --> 00:02:24,861
I mean, you know he's older, he goes to
the Naval Academy instead of a school,
44
00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:26,937
and then Danielle's going to this
party this weekend, and she's all
45
00:02:26,985 --> 00:02:29,196
'You better be there' and I'm, 'Yeah' but
Donny's, 'No, I don't wanna share you,'
46
00:02:29,256 --> 00:02:31,702
which is actually very sweet,
but that�s just the sort of thing
47
00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:34,282
Danielle�s gonna use against
me, and then you have to go
48
00:02:34,351 --> 00:02:36,964
and exacerbate the whole thing
by teaching sex ed at my school.
49
00:02:40,507 --> 00:02:44,071
On the bright side, she
did say 'exacerbate.'
50
00:02:44,778 --> 00:02:48,195
Yeah, honey, I think you're blowing
this whole thing out of proportion.
51
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,780
You wanna weigh in here, Paul?
52
00:02:54,436 --> 00:02:56,399
Look, it's just two classes.
53
00:02:56,459 --> 00:03:00,197
And I will try very hard not to draw
attention to the fact that I'm your mom.
54
00:03:01,361 --> 00:03:05,420
And that's how Bridget was born.
55
00:03:22,804 --> 00:03:25,550
8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING
MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER
56
00:03:32,034 --> 00:03:36,941
This movie sounds good. 'High
octane butt kicking from start to finish.'
57
00:03:37,126 --> 00:03:42,065
Far be it from me to disagree with Jeff
Paisley from the Shreveport Town Crier.
58
00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:46,703
But I really wanted to see...
59
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,999
It means, 'Love is the
water of the heart.'
60
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,247
That doesn't sound as
full of high octane.
61
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,679
Come on, Kyle. It�s made by this really
amazing avant garde French director.
62
00:03:57,813 --> 00:04:02,543
He uses silence in a way that
it almost becomes a character.
63
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:06,858
This guy? He uses his
butt cheeks to talk.
64
00:04:08,464 --> 00:04:10,367
We can't even agree on a movie.
65
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,665
Sometimes I feel like we
have nothing in common.
66
00:04:12,729 --> 00:04:15,769
Yeah. I know what you mean.
67
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:19,178
Wanna make out?
- Sure.
68
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:21,880
Whoa� hey, Lord
of the Manor present.
69
00:04:21,952 --> 00:04:24,012
We weren't doing anything..
- Oh my god, Dad do you have to...
70
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,004
Walk in on you and your boyfriend?
Yes.
71
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,032
Do I have to call that
your 'boyfriend'? Yes.
72
00:04:28,073 --> 00:04:30,734
Do I have to torture
you with a dance like�
73
00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:34,060
instead of leaving you alone? No�
74
00:04:34,115 --> 00:04:38,152
but you did call me a
flat face. You still here?
75
00:04:38,218 --> 00:04:41,755
No. - Thank you.
- Call me later.
76
00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:45,883
So, Care Bear, I hear you�re interested
in seeing that new French movie.
77
00:04:45,971 --> 00:04:49,163
How long were you standing there?
- Don't worry, I had a chair.
78
00:04:49,229 --> 00:04:52,694
Listen, I was thinking, you know what
might be fun is if, we sort of saw
79
00:04:52,767 --> 00:04:55,436
that movie together tonight. Sort of
a father daughter foreign film night.
80
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,402
I'd rather stay home.
81
00:04:57,466 --> 00:05:01,021
Good. Hey Kerry, we�re going to have a
father daughter stay at home dance night.
82
00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:05,421
Yeah� get your groove on.
83
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,249
Okay, okay� we'll go to the
movie! Just stop doing that!
84
00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,393
Works every time.
85
00:05:11,558 --> 00:05:13,547
Hey, Cate.
- Oh, hi honey.
86
00:05:13,593 --> 00:05:16,411
Kerry and I are going to see a foreign
film tonight. - That's so nice.
87
00:05:16,471 --> 00:05:18,560
You know we're not
sitting together, right?
88
00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:20,650
I'm excited, too!
89
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:23,624
Okay, Mom. I parked the car.
90
00:05:23,668 --> 00:05:27,059
It's all snug in its spot in the garage
just like how Dad's sperm snugly parked
91
00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:29,939
itself into your egg when you
decided to have sex and ruin my life.
92
00:05:31,775 --> 00:05:34,475
I came up with a little
car analogy for the class.
93
00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:36,993
Cute. What do you mean �little� car?
94
00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:39,234
It was the worst day of my entire life.
95
00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:41,473
Worse than the time you wore a
black skirt and a black top to school
96
00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:43,498
and you didn't notice they
were two different blacks
97
00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:45,482
till you got home and I showed you?
98
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,992
That's it, Rory! We're canceling Bravo.
99
00:05:48,118 --> 00:05:50,083
You said you wouldn't
embarrass me, Mom.
100
00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:52,099
You said no one would
know you were my mother.
101
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:55,825
I know honey and I was trying
so hard not to, it just blurted out.
102
00:05:55,944 --> 00:05:57,930
You could have stopped
at how I was conceived.
103
00:05:57,976 --> 00:05:59,927
You didn't have to tell them where.
104
00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:03,113
You don't even like the
beach! God, this is so unfair!
105
00:06:03,389 --> 00:06:06,095
Did she say penis? - I am never
showing my face at that school again.
106
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:10,086
Penis and vagina?
- Rory, we don't say those words.
107
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,113
Why not?
- I don't know.
108
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,602
Did you have a rough day today?
- No it wasn't that bad.
109
00:06:17,636 --> 00:06:20,278
But I found out tomorrow I have
to talk about contraception,
110
00:06:20,353 --> 00:06:23,780
and the only thing the school
will let me discuss is abstinence.
111
00:06:23,859 --> 00:06:27,472
Finally, our tax
dollars put to good use.
112
00:06:27,572 --> 00:06:31,367
I don't know, I think it�s irresponsible
to say abstinence is the only option.
113
00:06:31,496 --> 00:06:34,762
I see teenagers at the hospital every
day and they're in trouble already.
114
00:06:34,846 --> 00:06:36,838
They need to know about safe sex.
115
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:40,410
Or, you could teach
them that sex is bad.
116
00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:43,808
That if they have it they�ll
go blind or go to hell.
117
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:46,029
You're the teacher. You decide.
118
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:43,673
Hi, guys. How was the movie?
119
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,714
Fine.
120
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,515
Did something happen?
121
00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:54,043
There was this scene, this
scene was so incredibly...
122
00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:59,036
European.
123
00:07:59,086 --> 00:08:01,029
Hot sex?
- Rory!
124
00:08:01,808 --> 00:08:04,635
Sorry. Did I crack your code?
125
00:08:07,252 --> 00:08:10,476
So what did you do?
- Nothing.
126
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:13,342
You did nothing? - Yes, I did nothing.
What else could I do?
127
00:08:13,387 --> 00:08:15,363
Well, you could have left.
128
00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:17,609
Oh, yeah. I never thought of that.
129
00:08:18,217 --> 00:08:21,083
I�ll go talk to her.
It�s okay.
130
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:27,660
Wow, you saw the water
bottle scene with Kerry?
131
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:32,320
You know about the water bottle scene?
132
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:34,576
Oh yeah. The water
bottle scene�s famous.
133
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:38,425
All my friends are downloading it
off the Internet. Not me, though.
134
00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:41,358
Because I'm not old enough
to see that kind of thing.
135
00:08:41,694 --> 00:08:44,386
And it's illegal.
And it objectifies women.
136
00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:49,829
Wait a minute, all your little friends
are watching that scene from that movie?
137
00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:54,806
The water bottle scene is like my
generation's Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee tape.
138
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:57,999
Which of course, I have not seen either.
139
00:08:58,649 --> 00:09:01,649
But, maybe you should
take Kerry to see it.
140
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:09,779
Well, it�s getting late.
- Yes, it is.
141
00:09:09,851 --> 00:09:13,109
How do you say goodnight?
142
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:15,819
And your mom's the teacher.
143
00:09:16,485 --> 00:09:18,461
I'll call you next week.
144
00:09:18,511 --> 00:09:21,825
Will you? Well, thanks so much.
145
00:09:22,082 --> 00:09:24,969
I had loads of fun.
- So did I.
146
00:09:24,994 --> 00:09:27,597
Goodnight, Woody.
- Goodnight, Anne.
147
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:32,560
And thus Woody leaves,
knowing with great pride
148
00:09:32,563 --> 00:09:36,072
that this is another
night he did not have sex.
149
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:41,158
Okay. So, that's abstinence.
150
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,503
Clearly it's been around forever.
151
00:09:44,628 --> 00:09:48,142
Yo, Ms. Henn, that movie was
all rated 'G' and what not.
152
00:09:48,144 --> 00:09:51,041
Nah, it was less than
'G,' it was like... 'F.'
153
00:09:51,377 --> 00:09:54,745
Yeah, Woody's got no game.
154
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:57,780
Look, if you have something
to say, please raise your hand.
155
00:09:58,154 --> 00:10:01,332
Anthony. - Yeah, dawg be cold saying
hasta to a lady with such a fine,
156
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:04,256
cup sitting booty like that.
157
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:08,273
But I'll bet my money that dawg
be walking all swishy swishy,
158
00:10:08,328 --> 00:10:11,367
playing for the other team and
what not, you know what I'm saying?
159
00:10:12,844 --> 00:10:14,972
We all have certain urges.
160
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:18,260
Hey Bridget, your mom just
said �urges.� - Kill me.
161
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:23,186
And if you respect yourself,
you will shut down those urges.
162
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:25,870
She totally said it again.
163
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,768
And then, when you�ve finally
made a commitment to get married,
164
00:10:29,823 --> 00:10:32,104
and you finally satisfy those urges...
165
00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,861
Stop saying �urges!�
166
00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:39,129
There are other words.
167
00:10:40,478 --> 00:10:44,478
It will be all that much
sweeter because you waited.
168
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:47,494
Waited?
Dang, this sucks!
169
00:10:48,305 --> 00:10:51,085
She's trying to turn us
into a bunch of Woodys.
170
00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:56,488
All right, kids. Okay. I could get
in big trouble for telling you this,
171
00:10:56,561 --> 00:11:00,034
but there are
alternatives to abstinence.
172
00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:02,929
What are some of those
alternatives, Bridget's mom?
173
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,288
Well, Jenna, rather than
speak in generalities,
174
00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,501
why don�t we just answer
some of those questions
175
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:12,275
you submitted to Miss
Callahan last week?
176
00:11:12,977 --> 00:11:16,181
Let�s see.
177
00:11:16,247 --> 00:11:19,381
'I have a much older boyfriend
who lives in Maryland.
178
00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:24,829
He's coming to visit me this weekend
and I'm feeling pressure to have sex.
179
00:11:25,145 --> 00:11:27,456
What should I do?
180
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:32,351
And I think you should
know, I'm really gorgeous.'
181
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,250
Well, I�ll tell what you should do.
182
00:11:35,345 --> 00:11:37,535
ABSTINENCE
183
00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:39,755
Abstinence! Abstinence.
You hear me, missy?!
184
00:11:42,727 --> 00:11:45,021
Whoever you are.
185
00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:53,546
Paul, how many times you
gonna read that thing?
186
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,646
The words aren't gonna change.
187
00:11:55,696 --> 00:11:59,676
Donny Doyle is coming over to our
house to have sex with our daughter.
188
00:11:59,791 --> 00:12:03,218
Oh, he's gonna be having sex all right,
but it's not gonna be with our daughter.
189
00:12:03,621 --> 00:12:06,689
What does that mean?
- I don't know.
190
00:12:06,765 --> 00:12:09,196
You just gave me this ten minutes
ago. I'm still formulating a plan.
191
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,281
I'm just so disappointed with myself.
192
00:12:12,391 --> 00:12:16,489
I sounded like my mother. I actually
think I said the word 'missy.'
193
00:12:16,893 --> 00:12:21,381
And I actually believed Donny when he
told me that he was choosing celibacy.
194
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,326
A teenage boy doesn't choose celibacy.
195
00:12:23,387 --> 00:12:27,032
Celibacy chooses you�
him� a teenage boy.
196
00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,955
What are we gonna do?
197
00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:33,433
Look, Cate. We can't just talk
to Bridget about contraception.
198
00:12:33,783 --> 00:12:35,731
You might as well just fluff her
pillows and make her
199
00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:37,819
some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
200
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,340
You are aware, Paul,
that only works for you.
201
00:12:41,998 --> 00:12:44,189
Don't you see, that if we do
that, it�d be like we're giving
202
00:12:44,214 --> 00:12:48,652
her permission to have sex. And if
we tell her �you can't have sex�,
203
00:12:48,737 --> 00:12:51,918
you know she's definitely gonna have it.
204
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:55,185
Why couldn't she have
been born hideously ugly?
205
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,730
Ugly people have sex, too.
206
00:13:00,944 --> 00:13:03,943
I just, you know, it's just such
a confusing time for these kids.
207
00:13:04,225 --> 00:13:06,636
The media bombards them
with all these sex images.
208
00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:09,387
Why do they have to make
it look so damn appealing?
209
00:13:09,702 --> 00:13:12,286
I blame the French and
their crazy sex water.
210
00:13:13,156 --> 00:13:16,102
As do we all, Paul.
211
00:13:16,392 --> 00:13:19,618
Okay look, you know we are
going to have to talk to her.
212
00:13:19,722 --> 00:13:22,654
Fine. We'll talk to her
before her date with Donny.
213
00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:27,617
It's so hard to be a girl.
214
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:32,591
You like a guy so much and you just
want to be with him, it feels so right.
215
00:13:32,798 --> 00:13:35,480
Is that how you feel about me?
216
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,928
Sometimes.
- Sometimes?
217
00:14:30,544 --> 00:14:33,466
Oh, God help us.
218
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,225
People were butt naked,
moaning like no tomorrow,
219
00:14:36,271 --> 00:14:38,196
and I'm sitting like this close to Dad.
220
00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:40,187
Hello, my social standing
could be impacted for decades
221
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,125
the way Mom's talking about
how everyone has these urges.
222
00:14:43,177 --> 00:14:45,510
Oh yeah? Well I started to
choke on a popcorn kernel
223
00:14:45,596 --> 00:14:48,797
and oxygen cut off to my brain
and everything went black.
224
00:14:48,911 --> 00:14:51,123
Mom said 'vulva.'
225
00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:53,309
You win.
226
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:58,521
Kerry, could you go downstairs for
a second? We wanna talk to your sister.
227
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:01,911
Sure, Mom. Dad.
- Kerry.
228
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,937
I want to look absolutely perfect
for my date with Donny tonight.
229
00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:07,042
What do you think of this top?
- I think it should stay on.
230
00:15:07,061 --> 00:15:09,151
I need something that says
I'm older, more sophisticated.
231
00:15:09,197 --> 00:15:12,048
Something that says I'm a woman.
�Cause tonight's a big night.
232
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:14,673
No, tonight is not the big
night and do you wanna know why?
233
00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:17,149
I'll tell you why. Cate?
234
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:22,742
Honey, your Dad and I were together
for a long time before we had a 'big night.'
235
00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:27,354
And might I add, we were deliriously
happy with all of our little nights.
236
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:30,430
Years and years of little nights,
little teenie weenie nights.
237
00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:34,694
He said �teenie weenie.�
- Bridget. - What?
238
00:15:34,784 --> 00:15:38,699
Look, what we're trying to say is
that sex is a big step. For all of us.
239
00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:43,668
And we in no way want you to have
sex. We are not giving you permission.
240
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:47,355
What are you talking about? - Fine.
You want me to say it? I�ll say it.
241
00:15:47,427 --> 00:15:50,187
safe sex, condoms, you know the drill.
242
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,215
Look, what your father
is trying to say is
243
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,932
that when it comes to sex, we
trust you to act responsibly.
244
00:16:00,984 --> 00:16:03,668
What is with you people?
You're all just sex, sex, sex.
245
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:07,886
It's like you have a one track mind
and it's all... whatchamacallit... sex.
246
00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,668
Honey, we know you wrote that question.
247
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,664
What question?
248
00:16:14,225 --> 00:16:16,935
From the girl whose boyfriend
is coming from Maryland
249
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:20,766
and he's coming to town to, you know.
250
00:16:20,782 --> 00:16:22,769
You thought that was me?
251
00:16:22,888 --> 00:16:27,200
No, that was totally written by that new
girl who came from Maryland Lara O'Neal.
252
00:16:27,251 --> 00:16:30,162
And she's definitely not gorgeous.
Talk about over inflated self esteem.
253
00:16:30,217 --> 00:16:33,445
If somebody's willing to sleep
with her, she should jump on it.
254
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,912
Looks like someone
got a little paranoid.
255
00:16:38,035 --> 00:16:41,527
Oh gosh, I gotta go.
How do I look? Wow. Really good.
256
00:16:41,578 --> 00:16:45,914
Bridge, since, you and Donny aren't
having sex, what's up for tonight?
257
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:48,377
PG movie, home by eleven,
you know the drill.
258
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,304
You know after the movie why don't
you and Donny stop by so we can say hi?
259
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:54,279
No. I told the Doyles after the movie,
260
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,596
I'd be Mary Ellen's
partner in Bible Trivia.
261
00:16:56,612 --> 00:16:58,704
Godspeed.
262
00:17:01,528 --> 00:17:05,506
Oh my God, this movie sounds amazing.
263
00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:07,725
I'd show you the water bottle
scene, but my Dad made me
264
00:17:07,755 --> 00:17:12,155
delete it from my hard drive.
Luckily, I've got it all up here.
265
00:17:12,311 --> 00:17:15,629
Hey.
- Hey. Out.
266
00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:20,098
Hi.
267
00:17:20,202 --> 00:17:24,825
You know, I was a jerk the other day.
268
00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:28,328
I was totally wrong
about that French movie.
269
00:17:28,418 --> 00:17:30,854
It was important to you, all right?
270
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,796
And I think we should really go see it.
271
00:17:34,002 --> 00:17:35,905
You heard about the scene?
272
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:40,396
There's a sexy water
bottle scene? I had no idea.
273
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,699
Go home.
274
00:17:43,837 --> 00:17:46,323
I hate having a smart girlfriend.
275
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:52,366
Dad.
- Kerry. Care Bear, hang on.
276
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:54,625
Wait a second. You know
what? We have to talk.
277
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:56,924
I don't wanna talk! - I think we
should, about the moo� the�
278
00:17:56,944 --> 00:18:00,106
you know, what we saw the other day.
- What? What?
279
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:04,545
It�s just that, you know, remember
when that guy came with the...
280
00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:08,781
well, the truth, the
thing is� you know what?
281
00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:11,033
Never mind. Carry on, goodnight.
282
00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:16,062
No, wait. No, not goodnight! Dad, we
have nothing to be embarrassed about.
283
00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:20,062
You're right. �Night.
- No, wait. Dad!
284
00:18:20,515 --> 00:18:22,497
Come here, sit down.
285
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:29,125
Okay, you were thinking,
should you cover my eyes?
286
00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:34,627
Or, should you laugh? Or
should you just do nothing,
287
00:18:34,718 --> 00:18:37,782
because, you know, let
me draw my own conclusions
288
00:18:37,853 --> 00:18:41,372
and instead of treating me like
a child? - Yes, that was one!
289
00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:43,575
Right, okay, but you have
to admit it was really weird.
290
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:45,835
Oh, God. That was one of the
weird� especially� I could�
291
00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:49,270
Okay, Dad, stop. Stop worrying.
292
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:51,377
I mean, I'm not scarred for life.
293
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:55,002
And despite being temporarily
totally creeped out,
294
00:18:55,024 --> 00:18:58,029
I didn't hate having a
father daughter thing.
295
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,524
Good.
- Okay.
296
00:19:00,543 --> 00:19:03,199
So we can do this again sometime?
- Yeah. In like a billion years.
297
00:19:03,239 --> 00:19:05,396
It's a date.
298
00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:07,502
The boy!
299
00:19:07,566 --> 00:19:10,816
Come here. Hey! Right
here, sit down, park it.
300
00:19:11,353 --> 00:19:15,598
Hey, Ror. Boy, I�ll tell you
something. It is not �E A S Y�
301
00:19:15,678 --> 00:19:17,927
being the father of teenage girls.
302
00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:19,949
But I think I'm really evolving.
303
00:19:19,985 --> 00:19:24,460
And as for you, young man, did
you delete your downloaded movies?
304
00:19:24,629 --> 00:19:27,497
Look, 'Officer Internet',
305
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:30,419
if you're so worried about
obscene material, you should
306
00:19:30,474 --> 00:19:32,444
probably take a look across the street.
- What do you mean?
307
00:19:32,522 --> 00:19:35,842
Your daughter's alone with a sex starved
sailor who hasn't seen a woman in months.
308
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,864
Rory, she is not alone.
She's with the Doyles.
309
00:19:38,924 --> 00:19:41,213
And even if she wasn�t,
I trust my daughter.
310
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:44,606
Does it concern you that the Doyles'
motor home is not in the driveway?
311
00:19:44,672 --> 00:19:48,668
No. There could be a thousand reasons
why their camper's not in the driveway.
312
00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,694
Like it's in Branson with
the rest of the Doyles?
313
00:19:51,725 --> 00:19:54,117
Where it's been since Thursday?
314
00:19:54,191 --> 00:19:56,953
Where they're celebrating
the Osmond family reunion?
315
00:19:57,983 --> 00:20:02,002
Cate, are you hearing this?
- Bible trivia, my ass!
316
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,400
I hate the French!
317
00:20:07,443 --> 00:20:09,998
Back to the Internet.
318
00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:16,720
Lara O'Neal? Lara O'Neal?
319
00:20:18,992 --> 00:20:21,757
Lara O'Neal, new girl from Maryland?
320
00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:27,353
Does anyone know a Lara O'Neal?
321
00:20:28,717 --> 00:20:30,992
Anyone?
322
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:36,020
I'm sick.
323
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:40,620
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