Original subtitles

-Mmm. -Mmm.

And that is why pie is better than cake.

-Mm-hmm. -I think we know who deserves

to take home tiramisu in the next round.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[PHONE BUZZES]

Yes, Mother? Yes, Mother.

Bye, Mother.

-Let me guess, your mother? -How did you know?

Next you'll be telling me she called to say we're moving out.

'cause that's what happened.

Don't worry, it's not worth a cake drop.

It's just for one week.

Someone walked on our carpets with their shoes on,

and now the whole house needs to be steam-cleaned.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Who would do such a thing?

We have to stay with Aunt Milly.

Ugh, she's such a clean freak.

She's a clean freak?

I just need to go dig out my formal hazmat suit.

Maybe you could stay here for a week?

After all, it is kind of my fault.

I mean, responsibility.

You as my best friend are my responsibility.

I'd love to stay over. I just need to ask my parents.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Yes, Mother? Yes, Mother. Bye, Mother.

That was my mother. She said I could stay the week.

Awesome! But how did she know?

The walls between our houses are really thin.

You can hear everything that goes on.

-Everything? -Yeah.

My mom agrees about the pie

and also that we should clean up that cake.

I'm so glad Loren is staying the week,

and her mom and dad are amazing.

Now all we have to do is check

with the people on this side of the disturbingly thin wall.

Absolutely,

This house could do with a little more feminine energy.

Womb...

Of course, darling,

as long as you don't touch anything labeled,

"Definitely not neurotoxin" while you're here.

Sure, as long as you don't burn the house down.

[LAUGHS]

Seriously, don't burn the house down.

No.

I don't see why

I should be saddled with extra responsibility

whilst you're off on a Sunday drive.

The Trans-Global Taxi Grand Tour is no Sunday drive.

It's not like I'm asking you to take care of a child.

Archibald is far more important.

Ugh, go and ask one of the others,

specifically the one whose name rhymes with stain pro

or pain though

or deranged bog goblin.

I can't ask Rainbow.

I knew the last one would help.

She'd try and liberate Archibald like she does

with all houseplants.

Terrance, please, for me, 'cause we're mates?

Whoa, pump the brakes there, cabbie.

And I will get my friends to sign your petition.

To rename July Sharktober?

You've got a deal, Maury.

I'll take care of your favorite baby.

Aww, are you talking about me?

Ha, yeah, course we are, kiddo.

Any chance you want to come to the TGTGT?

The trains going through giant tunnels?

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

That's what we call the tube in my family.

Thanks, gramps, but I can putter around town

in your cab anytime.

Putter? The TGTGT --

Sounds so lovely,

but Loren hardly ever gets to sleep over.

Only when someone befouls our carpets with their shoes.

Yeah. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

So can she stay? Please?

Well, I won't really be around, so go ahead.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Terrance?

Don't look at me.

I thought she lived here anyway.

[BOTH SQUEAL]

[both] Sleepover-over-over- over-over!

-Pstt. -Danny?

You're so kind for taking Loren in, sis,

and by kind, I mean brave.

Thanks, Danny. Wait, why?

Think of all the technological insanity

she brings to the house on a normal day.

Now multiply that by seven.

It's no problem.

Loren just won't do anything sciencey while she's here.

Goldie, I've made a rocket to start

our sleepover-over-over off with a bang.

Ten, nine...

We promised we wouldn't burn the house down.

Nine, ten, back up again.

I'll save this one for later.

Seven days.

? I've got a plan ?

? I flew over the ocean to tell you how ?

? Me and my fam ?

? We caused a commotion ?

? When we landed on my granddad ?

? It's chaos at home but it's always fun ?

? Fun fun fun fun ?

? 'Cause you're never too old and you're never too young ?

? Around here ?

? So this is me ?

? Just trying to keep it all together ?

"Spritz him every evening."

Hmm.

"Give him lots of sun."

All this muttering is thirsty work.

Maybe I should find a recipe for cactus juice.

[TABLET BLARES]

Oh, what?

Terrance, I'm on a pit stop.

How are you getting on with Archibald?

Oh, swimmingly.

In fact, we're just about to have a little drink.

[LAUGHS] Lovely.

Although it's not time for his evening spritz yet.

Stop your fussing, Maury.

Just get my Sharktober signatures.

I'll deal with your cactus.

Now, where's the juicer?

Ooh, you're making a smoothie?

Ow!

-Are you all right? -Yeah, I just --

I was talking to the cactus.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

Maybe you're not so bad after all, huh?

[LAUGHS]

[INDISTINCT] in one minute.

Thanks so much for agreeing to a film about rockets, Goldie.

Anything to stop you launching a real one.

-Sorry, what was that? -Oh!

You know, this sleepover-over-over

is a pretty big deal.

I mean, we want to be able to do it again, right?

Right, without all the carpet violating trauma.

Uh, exactly.

So unlike that awful carpet treader,

we need to be on our best behavior, right?

Gotcha.

Oh, will you be long?

I have a secret message--

I mean, a normal program I was hoping to catch.

Then we will depart now.

Prithee, Esther, partake of mine own spot.

-Are you speaking in code? -Nay, for nothing is amiss.

I beseech you, take thy rest.

Wonderful, another sleeper agent.

Good thing I installed that new escape route.

-What was that? -My best behavior.

For this is how we verbalize at Aunt Milly's,

only at greater volume on account of the hazmat suits.

Oh, my stars. Just relax, okay?

Relax, right.

[SIGHS]

-[GASPS] -I'm fine.

Hey, Big T. Any cookies left?

Nope, just biscuits,

and I'm saving the last one for me.

[TENSE WESTERN MUSIC]

Ow, something bit me!

[LAUGHING]

Well done, Archie.

I should have gotten a guard cactus years ago.

-Just act normal. -Right, normal.

Oh, hey, girls.

How are the sleepover plans going?

Nothing too explode-y, I hope.

[LAUGHS]

Very funny, Sherry.

What do you think of today's weather,

too hot and/or cold?

Are you following the local sports team?

This will be their year, or not.

It's official.

I'm old and no longer understand teenagers.

Is that what you think normal is?

Isn't it?

Just act like you would at home.

Phew, right, like I would at home.

What? I can't keep these on inside

like some kind of monster.

[WHISPERS] Think of the carpets.

[OWL HOOTS] [ROOSTER CROWS]

Loren?

Mom, have you seen Loren?

No, no one has.

Because she's been in the shower for hours.

Loren!

People standing outside the bathroom

with cross looks on their faces.

This is just like home.

Finally.

Wait, what's that clogging up the drain?

You don't have drain lasers?

How do you keep the hair from going down

and the tentacles from coming up?

[SCREAMS]

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

I may be some time.

[SCREAMS]

Where's all the food gone?

Let me guess, you threw it away?

Of course not. I ate it before it all went off.

You're welcome.

-Why not have some cereal? -I ate that too.

That box had been open over a week.

Are we allowed to toss people

out of the house just after one day?

Loren, is there anything left to eat?

Of course.

There's a courgette in the vegetable rack.

-You're still here, then? -I'm not the guest.

So?

[GASPS]

My prickly partner!

Is that Archibald?

Just plain bald now.

-Leaving. -That was me.

My mother says the only thing that should come to a point

is a well-reasoned argument.

I removed all the fork tines too.

[TABLET BLARING]

You should get that.

Gotta have a word with my BFF who has nowhere else to live.

Bye.

What?

Just checking in on Archibald.

I felt a great disturbance in my core,

as if millions of tiny spines cried out in terror

and were suddenly silenced.

Everything is going... smoothly.

Get the signatures.

I'll ring you later.

Don't worry, Archie.

I'll find some way to get your barbs back.

Oh.

Well, you've had a busy morning.

Right, you told me to make myself at home.

Our house motto is "Nunquam non occupatus."

-No swimming with octopuses? -Never not busy.

So far I've shaved the cactus, polished off the food,

and cleaned the windows

using the rope ladder by Esther's window.

Wait, why was there a rope ladder by Esther's window?

Ah! [CRASHES]

Right.

Stairs are on the inside.

Oh, silly me.

You know, Rainbow is doing her morning meditation right now.

That's basically just sitting around doing nothing.

We should join her.

Ah! You broke my aura.

-Let's just go to my room. -Yay!

Darling, a word.

We need to talk about Loren.

Yeah, I know she's a little extra today.

Ha! Thermonuclear war is a little extra.

Loren is much worse. The house has voted.

We can't take anymore.

I can't throw her out. She's my best friend.

She has nowhere else to go. It's kind of my fault.

-Oh? -It was a whole carpet thing.

What if I keep her in my room?

Well, that worked when I abducted--

[CLEARS THROAT]

Entertained the Canadian ambassador,

but she'll have to stay put,

or she'll be leaving in a way that'll make her wish

she'd left my rope ladder in place.

Okay, Archie.

This will coax you back to health.

Grow a spine, you quivering combustible!

I've seen hairstyles spikier than you are!

[GROWLING]

Plant problems, Terrance?

I'd be happy to take it off your hands.

I know a lovely family of bracken in the Cotswolds.

How about you take something else, like a shower?

I'd love to,

but Loren used all the hot water!

Sorry, I'm having trouble centering myself today.

Perhaps you can heal the cactus with the power of love?

Love?

Next you'll be suggesting pixie dust and unicorn farts.

Calm.

Must be calm.

Oh.

I think we finished every quiz on the Internet.

-Day well spent. -Right?

I'm so glad we know which dog breed we are now.

That was weighing on my mind for a while.

-Oh, where are you going? -To make tea.

We'll have it delivered.

-To watch TV? -We'll stream it to the board.

Are we not allowed to leave your room for some reason,

and is that reason that super intelligent mole rats

have invaded London, 'cause that would be brilliant.

Actually, we need to talk about the things we do

and how sometimes those things can be a bit annoying.

-Like the way you snore? -No.

Like how you giggle when you picture

-Shawn in his tennis kit? -[GIGGLES] No.

The way you can't get to the point

-in important conversations? -This isn't about me.

It's about--it's about--

It's about... how annoying it would be

if we were tired tomorrow.

-Bedtime! -But it's 5:30.

You can't have a sleepover-over without sleep.

Am I right? Night, bestie.

I was really hoping it would be the mole rats.

[OWL HOOTS] [ROOSTER CROWS]

Okay, Archie, back to full prickle.

Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Oh, Archie. Don't die on me, Archie.

Oh, Archie, come on. Don't give up on me.

[TABLET BLARING]

Terrance, you never rang back.

I'm starting to think something fishy is going on.

I'd like to see Archibald.

Oh, nothing fishy going on, Maury.

I just forgot. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

All those years in the salt air

must have made my brain rusty.

It's a wonder I remember to put on trousers every morning.

You don't always put your trousers on.

Huh? Oh.

See, there's your cactus, happy?

Can I take a closer look?

Right, well--

Terrance, there's a problem with the connection.

You're frozen. Terrance? Terrance?

-Hey, gramps. -Huh?

[SIGHS]

Still no food?

Try toothpicks and courgette.

Oh.

[SINGING IN WELSH]

[SOFT WELSH LULLABY]

Goldie, I got bored waiting for you to wake up,

so I finished our ultimate dessert challenge.

The winner's ice cream!

But we were supposed to judge that together.

Also, I read all the books in your room,

-including your diary. -You read my diary?

What do you expect when you didn't even write it

with a simple blockchain cipher code?

I'm going to grab a shower. See you around noon.

-You can't! -Oh.

It's just you can't shower because--

Goldie, it's okay.

I know you're keeping us up here,

-and I know why. -You do?

It's because I'm making you look bad,

but don't worry.

I can help you to be more helpful around the house.

You can be better.

I'm not keeping you up here because of me.

I'm keeping you up here because of you.

You're driving everyone crazy.

They want to throw you out. Of a window.

I'm taking one for the team by keeping you up here.

Hanging out with me is taking one for the team?

Fine, then sports-related metaphor

that means this sleepover-over-over is over.

Right, can't go home.

The air is still being bleached.

Loren.

Archie, you look like...

you're flowering.

So this is what the power of love does.

Why the long face?

Did Rainbow replace the toilet paper with kale again?

No, I've made a mistake.

Well, that can hardly be a new feeling.

Feelings? That's exactly the problem.

Look at what I've done. This is my mess.

I'll handle it.

It's time I made something to drink.

[TENSE MUSIC]

-Hey, I just cleaned in here. -Loren?

Oh. Hi, Goldie. I live here now.

It's got everything I need, including a new BFF.

You remember Margaret? She'll never hurt me.

You're not afraid she'll leaf you?

[RIMSHOT]

Sorry about that.

Actually, I'm sorry about everything

from hurting your feelings--

-Walking on our carpet. -You knew that was me?

Not until I read your diary

which Margaret said I shouldn't have.

Sorry. Sorry for the other stuff too.

It's okay.

-So we're cool? -Friends again?

Oh, whew.

I just--I wish I could make it up to everyone else.

I might have a plan.

Thank you all for joining us

on the launch of our apology rockets.

Apology rockets?

They say sorry with explosions in the sky.

Hey, don't apologize to me.

Cleaning out all the food meant I got to buy in all my faves

and charge a restocking fee.

Y'all owe me a tenner.

I suppose you've shown me I still have work to do

on becoming one with the cosmos.

And I suppose the bath is draining better now.

And I've figured out five new escape routes

that don't need a rope ladder.

You'll see number three when that rocket hits the house.

I've got nothing nice to say about Loren or anybody else,

but I accept your apology.

Great. Loren, get ready to launch.

[ROCKET WHIRRING]

[SWEET MUSIC]

[GASPING AND LAUGHTER]

-Wow! -Beautiful.

-Gramps. -Gramps is back.

Didn't need to do all this for me.

We didn't, darling. It's for us.

Wow.

Terrance, how's Archibald?

Uh, sorry, Maury. He's dead.

Very dead. Have some juice.

He's dead? Archibald? But he was so sprightly.

Like I said, sorry.

And your Sharktober petition is dead too.

Yes, Mother. Yes, Mother. No, Mother. Bye, Mother.

-Your mom? -Get out of my head.

The cleaning's done, and they're coming back tonight.

I guess it's time for me to go.

-You want to sleep over? -Only totally.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-You're my BFF. -What about Margaret?

Margaret's just an acquaintance.

Plus, all she talks about is aphids.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Good night, sweet prince.

Ooh! [LAUGHS]

[OUTRO MUSIC]

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