Original subtitles

Amazing.

Okay, this will look great

on ClakClak!

# She's called Arachnogeek #

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Yes!

Jump!

Okay, more grr! # She is Arachnogeek #

Okay.

# Arachnogeek, Arachnogeek #

I love cosplay.

Remarkable's comic book heroes for the win.

No, that was just for second place.

This is for the win.

You made an Arachnogeek cocoon canon?

Real-life/superhero crossover!

Does it work?

Only one way to find out.

(COCOON CANNON WHIRRING)

Ready? Aim.

Fire! (YELPS)

(MUFFLED) Whoa, cool!

It's not cocooning where I aim it,

but it is cocooning. Result!

Yeah. (PHONE CHIMES)

It's my dad!

Does he want to congratulate me

on my incredible cosplay breakthrough?

"Missing my Goldbug. What's happening over there?

Heart."

Aw. "Miss you too, Dad."

Oh. Smile, Loren!

He's gonna love this!

Now he'll want to congratulate me.

(PHONE CHIMES) He's replied!

"LOL, love it. Made my day!"

Hey, plan forming.

I'm gonna take photos of everyone

so Dad knows exactly what's happening.

That'll make his week! Maybe his month!

Wow! His life must be really boring.

I'll just stay inside the cocoon.

Smile for Dad!

I love that you're doing this.

Thanks, Danny.

Because I just registered my image rights.

Pay up, sis.

Smile!

Face swap, Gramps!

(LAUGHS) (GASPS)

Oh.

Hey, Goldie. Shawn.

Gram said I could do

my sports anatomy homework here?

Whoa, science-y.

Guess you're not just a pretty face.

I mean a perfect hair?

I mean a perfect face!

Photo?

Perfect!

Maybe I should take a few more.

Great!

Cool!

Nice!

I think I got your good side.

Which is all of them.

Yeah, and Gram's, too.

Gonna guess Esther doesn't like

having her picture taken. No, that can't be right.

I've got tons with her. Take a look.

This one, this one, this one.

See? Loads of pics.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

Terrance? Mm-hmm.

Is that my scarf?

No, it's my silky dishrag.

I've got a whole drawer full of them.

You can't use my scarf

as a tea towel! Why not?

Because I want to use it as a blindfold.

Esther picked this up in the library.

It says that repressing your everyday senses

can unlock new powers of perception.

New powers of poppycock.

Ridicule me all you want, Terrance.

Ow. Challenge accepted.

(COCOON CANON WHIRRING) Loren, I've got

the cutest photos ever!

(YELPS)

Whoops! It works!

My bad. (MUFFLED SPEECH)

And these are cute!

What an adorable little snout!

Hey, Shawn doesn't have a...

Where are the photos of me and Shawn,

and how are my pictures pigs now?

Esther. It could have been her.

She was in the background

when I took the photos, and acting suspiciously.

More suspicious than normal?

About the same as when we found

the Moldavian ambassador in her closet.

That is suspicious.

Yeah, and now she's hacked into my phone.

She's up to something.

And we are going to figure out what.

Arachnogeek and Ms. Maximal on the case!

(COCOON CANON WHIRS)

Or maybe we could do it in our regular clothes.

Good idea.

# I've got a plan #

# I flew over the ocean to tell you how #

# Me and my fam #

# We caused a commotion #

# When we landed on my granddad #

# It's chaos at home but it's always fun #

# Fun fun fun fun #

# 'Cause you're never too old and you're never too young #

# Not around here #

# So this is me #

# Just trying to keep it all together #

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

(HUMMING)

Oh! (SIGHS)

Watch where you're standing, you blindfolded bohemian!

I know exactly where I am.

I can feel my sixth sense awakening.

Is that so?

Well...

maybe I can help test your new "mental" powers.

Terrance, that would be lovely.

In my hands, I have a deck of cards.

(CARDS SMACK)

Your task is to tell me

which card I'm holding up. Ready?

Ready.

It's the eight of hearts?

Right you are. Uh...

How about this one?

The jack of clubs!

Amazing! Right again!

Try it now.

You can't fool me! (CHUCKLES)

It's the jack of clubs again!

(CHUCKLES) You got me, Rainbow.

You're a complete ninny--n-natural.

I believe you're right.

Who knows what my mind is capable of.

Logical thought would be a start.

(LAUGHS)

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

(CHUCKLING) Eight of hearts, hm.

Jack of clubs? Can't be.

Oh, no, no. Jack of clubs.

(otherworldly, electronic music)

So, the plan is

we use stealth and cutting edge surveillance equipment

to figure out what Esther's up to.

What do we have?

My listening device for eavesdropping,

my super suction "Vac to the Future"

for long-distance evidence collection,

and my masterpiece, a bug on a bug.

It's a beetle with a tiny mic on its shell.

I call him Ringo. Catch!

(GASPS, YELPS)

No, Ringo!

He's not transmitting.

Loren, I am so sorry.

Don't blame yourself.

He knew the risks when he signed up.

King of...of-- king of hearts.

(GROANS)

Jack. Jack of clubs.

(GROANS) Terrance,

did you say something?

No, nothing. I'm not doing anything.

But I heard your voice.

I must be reading your thoughts!

It's a theory.

Maybe you can work out what I'm thinking now.

Is it something to do with fish, darling?

It usually is.

I'm sensing that Esther is in the room with us.

Hello, Esther.

I read your pamphlet.

My psychic powers are in bloom!

Don't just tell her about your powers, Rainbow.

Show her.

Why don't you try and move an object on this table

with your mind?

I'm sure it'd be no problem

for someone with your abilities.

I'll see what I can do. Uh-uh-uh-uh.

Less talk-y, more think-y.

(PHONE BUZZES) Oh!

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

She's got a message. We need to grab that pad

and do a charcoal rubbing on it to see what she's writing.

But how do we get it without her seeing us?

Leave this to me.

I've got an idea that really sucks.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Oh, the "Vac to the Future."

Keep going. (RAINBOW HUMMING)

I think something nearly, slightly moved.

(RAINBOW CONTINUES HUMMING)

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

Got it! (VAC TO THE FUTURE WHIRS DOWN)

Right, maybe I shouldn't have connected

my shredder to the back of the pack.

(otherworldly, electronic music)

If we can't read her plans,

maybe we can video what she's up to.

This is probably the first time in history

that a selfie stick's been used for good.

(FLAMES BURSTING)

Question.

Are selfie sticks supposed to get hot?

Why do you ask?

(GASPS) It's melted!

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(GROANS) We've no chance of finding Esther's message!

Hopeless. (PHONE BUZZES)

Do you think Esther might be onto us?

What gave that idea?

This message she sent from your phone.

We should apologize.

And get my phone back,

but mostly, apologize. Yep.

Maybe she's not up to anything at all.

That could happen, right?

Goldie mustn't see the photos of her and Shawn,

they're crawling with evidence.

What was that?

It's Ringo!

My bug on a bug! He's alive and transmitting!

Do you know how many government types

I had to threaten to get the package to arrive today?

And you're sure Goldie doesn't know should anything?

Gramps!

Nothing useful. I made sure of that.

And by the time she works it out,

it'll be too late. I'll have sent you packing!

All of you! (LAUGHS)

Sent us packing? What does she mean?

And why is Gramps helping her?

(DISTORTED LAUGHING, STATIC)

Sorry, it's Ringo. He must've scuttled off.

Beetles are so bad at earwigging.

(GASPS)

I should have used an earwig!

It's okay. We don't need a bug.

We just need Gramps to rat.

Gramps, I think we need to talk.

Hi, kiddo. What's up?

(WHISPERING) I know about the package.

What? Esther said-- What did Esther say?

Nothing.

I don't know anything about people saying things.

Who even is Esther?

Gramps, is Esther making you do something against your will?

Of course not.

I mean, I don't mind leaving the country.

Leaving the country? I've said too much.

Esther will--

Hello? Yes.

Yeah, I'll be right there. I'm sorry, I've got to run.

Just had a call on the old, um, remote control.

(STATIC, DEVICE BEEPS)

Did you hear that? Yeah. What does that mean?

It means Esther is plotting

to get us thrown out of the country!

So we've got a package arriving

and Esther threatening Gramps to make us move away.

But why would she do that?

You know, Esther doesn't really like girls

chatting up Shawn. Come on.

Even Esther wouldn't go to such ridiculous lengths

just because I might sort of maybe

wanna start dating Shawn someday.

No, you're right. She totally would.

But she threatened the government to get

this package. How could she do that?

And what could be in it to make us leave the country?

Celery. I hate celery.

That would make me leave.

They have celery in other places, Loren.

Is nowhere safe?

It's got to be some kind of deportation papers.

That's the only explanation.

And she's making Gramps come with us

to make sure we can't come back.

How can she do that?

It's like she's a supersecret meanie

with sinister powers over the government.

It's not like that. It is that!

Why didn't I see this before? It all makes total sense.

Esther is a spy.

(GRUNTING)

(otherworldly, electronic music)

(SIGHS)

Stupid.

No such thing as psychic powers.

(MUMBLING) Psychic powers.

Hello there. (SIGHS) Rainbow.

Don't be alarmed, I don't want to frighten you.

(SIGHS) Rainbow, where are you?

I can't see you, but I can feel you.

Do you understand me? Yes, I-I can.

How are you doing this?

I'm trying to communicate with you

using my hyper-evolved brainpower.

It's--it's working.

Your voice is inside my mind.

Do not fear.

I may seem powerful and terrifying,

but I mean you no harm.

I don't like it. Make it stop!

Don't struggle.

I'm going to keep you in a nice, big box,

and feed you lots of juicy leaves.

No!

How do you defeat a spy?

By being a super villain. Yes!

I knew my plans for a secret base

would come in handy one day! Look!

I think in this case, Esther already is the villain.

Hate to say it, but I'm over my head.

We need help. But where would we find out

how to defeat top-secret government agents?

(TOGETHER) The Internet.

(INVESTIGATIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

"So you think your housemate is a spy?"

Where did this come from?

I think it's an ad.

For once, I'm glad our digital assistants

eavesdrop on everything we say.

Let's take the quiz!

"Has the person ever acted suspiciously?"

Definitely. (CONFIRMATION BEEP)

"Does it seem like they're leading a double life?"

Uh, yeah!

"If you met them on the street,

are they the last person you'd suspect of being a spy?"

For sure.

Good evening.

This is the voice of the authorities.

We calculate that there is a 99% chance

you are harboring a spy at your house.

Yay! Oh, wait.

Boo. Please stay calm.

Our operatives are on their way to assist you.

Thank you for visiting our page.

Please hit the subscribe button

and follow us on ClakClak.

Have we just turned Esther over to the authorities?

She won't stop you from seeing Shawn anymore.

Although, he will hate you for ratting out his grandmother.

What have I done?

No. This is Gramps' house.

She can't just throw us all out!

We did the right thing! And you've always got

your photos of Shawn to remember him by.

Except, of course, he's pigs now.

Well, there's no going back.

We need to keep an eye on Esther

until the authorities arrive.

One whiff of trouble and she'll be out of here.

We need to act normal.

No problem. Normal is my specialty.

Ah! Celery!

(SIGHS) Sorry.

Green pen. Fine now.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

You all right, darling?

Of course, why shouldn't I be?

(PAN SIZZLING)

She's inside my mind.

Ah!

Is everyone acting strange today?

What do you mean? Everything is normal.

Couldn't be any normal-er.

They should make today a holiday.

National Normal Day because of how

normal everything is.

Is that so?

Care to explain why this

came poking into my room earlier,

because that didn't seem normal to me.

We were just taking pictures of the elderly

in their natural habitat. Oh, totally normal.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

She's making a break for it!

What's got into you two? Nothing.

We're just doing stuff for no reason today.

As well as being normal.

Nothing happens around here for no reason.

It's Rainbow, she's controlling our minds.

(WHISPERING) She wants to make me eat leaves.

(GROANS IN DISGUST) Thanks, Terrance.

How did she get past me?

Loren, stall her. I have a plan.

Going out?

No, going to my room.

Sorry! Uh...

Can't let you out of my sight! Why not?

Because I have to... draw your portrait!

Pose with this. Stare wistfully into the light.

But you don't have paper. Or a pen.

Ah, you're right. Wait there.

She's so wily.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Making a quick getaway, Esther?

If I was, do you really think you could stop me?

Not really.

But this could.

(COCOON CANON WHIRRING)

You should never have messed with my family.

(MUFFLED SPEECH)

Or my pictures of Shawn.

Esther, it's here!

No, you don't. (MUFFLED SPEECH)

Okay, Gramps.

Goldie. Hand over the package.

It's fine, kiddo. I've got this.

You don't have to worry about Esther anymore.

I took care of her. I'm not worried about Esther,

but I'm starting to worry about you.

Hands off! This is important.

I know. It'll all be okay now! Loren!

(VAC TO THE FUTURE WHIRRING) (GROANS)

(VAC TO THE FUTURE POWERS DOWN) (LAUGHING)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)

We did it!

Victory party! Ha!

What have you done?

Just saved us all from being thrown out of the country.

What are you going on about?

You don't have to pretend anymore, Gramps.

We know. Esther was trying to send us packing.

Yes, on a surprise holiday. And that was my new passport.

Wait, what?

We were all supposed to go to Spain tomorrow.

But, Esther.

The government types. She had to threaten them.

Yeah, to speed up the passport.

If she hadn't gotten involved, I'd still be on hold.

That doesn't explain why she replaced Goldie's photos.

I was upgrading your plane tickets

when I when you took those photos!

I didn't want you zooming in and spoiling the surprise!

So you're not a spy who's trying

to make us all disappear? (LAUGHS)

Spy? Whatever gave you that idea?

Nobody move!

Target located. Stand by.

We're bringing her in.

Oops.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Thanks for the tip-off, citizens.

Secure the prisoner, number two.

You think I'm the spy? Cool!

Cuff me before I do something wild!

Look, this is all a misunderstanding.

There is no spy.

Then explain the arm cannon,

"Vac to the Future" pack, and...

a bugged bug.

An earwig would work better, though.

I knew it!

Release the girl. It's me you want.

Oh, come on, Esther. This is ridiculous.

You may be secretive, devious, and extremely violent, but--

Actually, maybe you are a spy.

You've convinced us. Take the old lady in as well.

Leave her alone!

If you take one of us, you have to take all of us.

That's right! Very well.

There's plenty of room in the 'carrier.

What's going on?

Nothing to be alarmed about, sir.

Just sinister government agency business.

You fools! You don't want these four!

You want Rainbow!

She's the one who controls everything!

You mean, she's the mastermind?

Yes, that's exactly what she is!

She's a hyper-evolved being who controls our thoughts!

Terrance, is that you?

(ANXIOUSLY) Ah, it's her! Quick!

Put these on so she can't hear your thoughts!

You'll never keep me in a box, woman! Never!

(otherworldly, electronic music)

Right. You're conspiracy nuts.

You people are such a waste of time.

Call off the attack drones and S.W.A.T. team.

We're pulling out.

Don't contact us again, ever.

Weirdos.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Sorry I ruined the surprise trip, Esther,

and almost had you arrested. It's okay, darling.

I'm actually quite flattered that you thought

I was an international woman of mystery.

I suppose we could stay-cation.

I happened to have a little safe hou--cottage

in Skegness.

Skegness? That sounds exotic!

It does have a beach.

On the North Sea. In northern England.

Oh, a cold beach. I deserved that.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

Sorry we aren't going somewhere warm.

Fine by me. I've got the cocoon cannon.

I'm gonna make a fortune wrapping up

all the freezing British bathers.

You better hurry if you want to make it in time

for piping hot beach cocktails!

And Goldie, take some holiday photos for your father.

Sure, but any chance you can give me back the ones of Shawn?

No. Didn't think so.

(DIAL BEEPS, LINE TRILLS)

Operation complete. The house is secure.

That should hold your cover for a while, ma'am.

And all it took was a cleverly planted online quiz,

a psychic power pamphlet, and a trip to Skegness.

Now, would you care to discuss our latest operations over tea?

It would be an honor, ma'am.

You know, we should consider

recruiting the girl who made this.

(BUG CHIRPING) She shows real promise.

(transmission buzzing, clicking)

Yes!

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

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