Original subtitles

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's, the best to you each morning,

from Kellogg's.

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

£ Riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by Kellogg's...

[opening theme music]

[humming]

Blab, the time has come

when you are no longer a low-grade,

dumbskull assistant private eye.

Snoop, you mean at long last

I'm gonna be a...

I'm afraid to say it.

I'm shaking like a leaf.

Well, I'm not, so I'll say it for you, Blab.

I'm moving you up to high-grade, smart-skull, private eye.

You wouldn't be pulling my skinny legs

just to break up a dull morning, would you, Snoop?

1 certainly would, but today I mean it.

Does that mean 1 get a salary too?

Uh, there you go, Blab, getting grandiose ideas already.

I'm sorry, Snoop.

l was carried away.

The mark of a good private eye is that he keeps a tight fist

on the purse strings.

And Snoop has one of the tightest.

Answer the phone, high-grade, smart-skull, Private Eye Blab.

Snooper Detective Agency.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

If you got a problem, we'll solve it for you.

Oh, boy.

Who? The warden at Sing-Song Prison?

Uh, what can we do for you, Warden?

I'd like you to prevent a jailbreak.

Can you come over right away?

Yes, sir.

My partner and I will be right there.

Goodbye, Warden.

Uh, what is it Blab?

[Blabber] A 708.

Let's go, Snoop.

What do you mean, let's go?

A 708 is an elderly boy scout

trapped in a pup tent in Mesopotamia.

I'm sorry, Snoop.

! mean a 709.

Rumor of a jailbreak at Sing-Song Prison, eh?

Oh, that's different. Now, let's go.

Well, here we are, Blab, Sing-Song Prison.

Hey you. How did you prisoners get outside?

You're sadly misapprehensive, officer.

-The warden is expectin' us. -Yeah.

We're high-grade, smart-skull, private eyes.

You could've fooled me.

Come on in.

The warden is waitin’.

Tell me, Warden, who do you think

is gonna make this jailbreak?

I'm not sure, but it could be this prisoner.

Why, that's Quick-Change Quentin,

the Quick-Change artist.

That's right.

He's waiting on tables

in the mess hall.

Now, my plan

is to throw you two in jail.

Why? We didn't break the law.

Quiet, you booby Blab.

Your job is to mingle with the convicts

and keep an eye on Quick-Change Quentin.

So far, Snoop, you're the most suspicious character I've seen.

Do you think ] ought to report you to the warden?

No, Blab.

l was merely looking for Quick-Change Quentin

and viola, there he is.

[scatting]

That crook. He should be arrested.

Look. He's going into his Quick-Change routine.

This is as good a time as any to make a break.

Kazoots!

And I'm George the guard.

Hiya, George.

Hiya, George.

Huh?

How can he be George

when I'm already George?

Because he's Quick-Change Quentin

making his skullduggery getaway.

And it looks mighty suspicious too.

It's those two nutty private eyes, Snooper and Blab.

Kazoots!

! better make a run for it.

Stop, Quick-Change,

or it's solitary refinement for you.

These guys are harder to shake than wet salt.

He went into the jute mill, Snoop.

With us hot on his crooked trail.

We lost him.

What do they do here, Snoop?

Oh, uh, this is where the prisoners make rope, Blab.

Ah, that's a good idea. Kazoots!

-And I'm a rope. -Hey, Snoop, look.

There's a lively hunk of rope.

[Snoop] That's no rope. That's Quick-Change Quentin.

Drat, his private eye.

All right, Quick-Change.

Give yourself up or ! shall blast you

into teeny bits of strings.

Ah, go fly a kite.

I've given you enough rope.

Take that.

Oh, you got me.

[grunts]

Aww, that's too bad.

He only had 37 more years to serve.

Which proves crime don't pay, even for a hunk of rope.

Well, pick him up and leave us take him

to the warden's office, Blab.

Snoop, help!

You didn't get Quick-Change,

-he got me! -[Quentin sniggers]

Hold it, Blab. I'm comin’.

[Quentin] So is Blab.

Sorry, Snoop.

Get off my head, you booby Blab.

Kazoots!

I'll escape through the warden's office.

Stop in the limb of the law!

1 got him, Blab.

That warden's disguise don't fool me,

Quick-Change Quentin.

! captured a warden too, Snoop.

If you don't let me go, you'll get 30 years for this.

And if you don't let me go, you'll get 30 years.

Uh, will the real warden please stand up?

Snoop, now that I'm a full-fledged private eye,

how about lettin' me guess which one is for real?

Okay, Blab, but remember, 30 years is a long time.

Thanks, Snoop.

Okay. You may go, warden.

Thanks.

Now to be my ever-loving self again. Kazoots!

And now for my getaway.

[mouth organ music playing]

Say, Blab.

Uh, do you think

you'll ever learn to play that thing?

1 got 30 years to try, Snoop.

[chuckles]

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

Vacation time!

Oh boy, dear old Dad,

where are we goin’ this year, huh?

Where, where, where?

Well, we could hunt caribou in Timbuktu,

moose in Moosopotamia,

or even wild pizza in South Pizzeria.

Which one have you chosen, Daniel Boone Dad?

Neither, ni-ther.

We're eco-conomically forced

to fish for minnows

at Shlump's Swamp again this year.

-Fish for minnows again? -Again it is, Augie.

Meanwhile, I'm for a nap.

If we leave right after supper and drive all night,

we'll be there in the morning.

Okay, disappointed father.

Poor Dad, he had his heart set on a hunting trip this year.

Wait a minute.

1 wonder how the hunting is on Mars.

My martian friend Aqba could get us up there for free.

I'll ask him.

Let's see. 40 trillion megacycles

bounced off Venus,

lateral wavelength, 70 degrees northeast

into Martian magnetic field.

Hello, Mars? Augie Doggie callin’ Mars.

Come in, Mars.

[Aqba] Mars calling Augie doggie.

A mooka-cracka-cooka greeting to you, my friend.

And a mooka-cracka-cooka greeting to you, Aqba.

How is your dear old Dad?

Well, that's why I called you, Aqba.

How's the hunting up there?

Great. The wild greech season just opened.

We'd be happy to have you and your dear old Dad.

Oh boy, swell!

Why don't you bring your house along?

Then you'll have a place to stay while you're here.

Well, how will I do that?

Simply follow my instructions.

-Are you ready? -I'm ready.

Good.

Turn your magnetic current dial

-to zero degrees north. -Right.

Now engage the astro-oscillator

slowly, slowly, slowly...

This 1 gotta see-- Wowee!

Mars, next stop!

Augie, what's goin' on?

Oh, nothin’, dear old Dad. [chuckles]

Y-You were merely having a flightmare.

! must remember not to eat

chocolate marmalade pizza

before beddie-bye, heh-heh.

[snoring]

Oh, boy, wait'll Dad finds out he's goin’ huntin' on Mars!

Will he ever be happy!

What was that?

Huh?

Greech huntin' season open?

1 better wake up.

That's enough nightmares for one nap.

You are awake, puzzled Dad. Welcome to Mars!

You mean, like, in planet Mars?

[Augie] That's right.

But may I ask

what we're doin' here, Augie my boy?

We are goin’ on a wild greech hunt.

Heh-heh-heh, I've always wanted to hunt wild greech...

whatever they are.

Careful, Dad, the greech is a mighty tricky customer.

Well, of course they are, everybody knows that.

Hey, Dad, look at that cute little Martian animal.

Yeah, ! wonder what he's called?

Look, he wants to tell you something.

What is it, little Martian creature?

Greech!

Ha-ha-ha!

Dad, I think that was a greech.

And that, Augie my son,

is the understatement of the year.

Halt, you Martian mischief-maker!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Now, where'd he go?

Did you get him, sure-shot Dad?

1 don't comprehend, Augie boy.

There he was, then poof, there he wasn't.

Greech!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey, Dad, he went into that cave!

I'll teach that greech not to screech!

Look, Dad, you-- you got him.

Dad, look, he's handing you a picture.

-I'Il see who it is. -He's kissing it first.

He must be a sentimental greech.

"Love, Greta,"

Augie my boy,

I'm afraid it's a picture

of his darling wife.

Oh, the shame of it!

Mine own papa is a greech killer!

But Augie my boy, my boy, 1 got a huntin' license.

Dad, he wants to whisper his last words to you.

Probably a fond adieu to his beloved wife.

Greech!

There he goes, vibratin’' Dad!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

And here we go, back where we belong.

Ah, it's good to be back on good old terra cotta once more,

away from them greeches.

-[greech] Greech! -[Augie] Dad, it's the greech.

Not the greech, it's the greeches.

We've been invaded.

Can they stay, huh, Dad?

Can they please, huh?

Please, Dad, can they?

Well, we're not takin’ 'em

back to Mars, that's for sure.

Oh, Dad, it says here in my Martian-English dictionary

that the word "greech" means rabbit.

It figures, Augie, it figures.

Greech! Greech, greech greech, greech, greech!

Well, after all, how many families

have genuine Martian greeches for houseguests?

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

[narrator] Historians of the Old West

could not possibly leave out the story

of the fabulous Jack Pott Mine,

discovered by poor young Jack Pott.

He was just about ready to call it quits when...

[crash]

... he struck it rich.

Huh? I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm rich!

! also got me a splittin' headache.

[narrator] Poor young Jack Pott

became rich old Jack Pott.

Somebody sweep up that messy gold dust off

in my imported floor.

Things went just fine at the old Jack Pott Mine

until one day disaster struck.

A polecat skunk decided to make the Jack Pott Mine

his permanent home.

[humming]

Run for your lives and some fresh air!

No one could get near the mine, so old Jack Pott

sent for none other than that famous lawman,

uh, uh, what's his name? Uh...

This is terrible embarrassin’.

[sing song] The high-falutin'est,

fastest shootin'est,

Queeks Draw McGraw.

Hmm, 1 guess that's close enough.

Get that skunk out of my mine,

and I'll make you a rich man, McGraw.

Skunks? Oh, so long, Queeks Draw, I thin’.

Hold on there, Baba Looey. I'll tell you when to "so long."

But, Queeks Draw, I think this skunk business

will brings on my allergies.

[McGraw] Relax, Baba Boy.

I'm gonna get that skunk out of there with Snuffles,

the biscuit-hungry hound.

But we haven't seen Snuffles for a long time.

How we find him?

Oh, it's simple, Baba Boy.

! just gotta hold up one of these here dog biscuits

and presto!

Uh-uh-uh-uh!

[McGraw] Here, catch!

Mm-mm-mm!

Mm-mm-mm!

He sure loves those dog biscuits.

-Uh-uh-uh. -No, Snuffles, no siree.

Not till you get that skunk critter out of that thar mine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[screams]

-Well? -Uh-uh.

-Huh? -Two biscuits?

! don't thin' ! blame him, Queeks Draw.

Easy bargains.

[McGraw] Oh, well, okay. Here's the other one.

Mm-mm-mm.

Mm-mm-mm! Mm.

Yike! Yike! Yike! Yike! Yike! Yike!

l thin' he goofed again, Queeks Draw.

Now what, you moocher?

-Uh-uh-uh. -You want three biscuits?

Nothin’ doin’.

Uh-uh.

All right, three biscuits,

but not till after you get rid of that skunk.

[grumbling] Why you... cheap...

[crash]

Oh, boy.

Ay, chihuahua!

He got rid of the skunk, Queeks Draw.

Uh-uh-uh-uh!

Well, what do you know? I'm fresh out of dog biscuits.

Uh-oh.

[grumbling] Why you... no-good vulture...

Let's go collect our reward, Baba Looey.

Don't count it yet, Queeks Draw. Look!

You get that skunk out of there this instance.

-Uh-uh-uh. -Three dog biscuits?

But I told ya, we're fresh out of dog biscuits.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

[scatting]

What we do now, Queeks Draw?

[McGraw] I'll go in and eliminate that skunk myself.

This clothespin will aid me in my perilous mission.

One side, Snuffles!

[scatting continues]

[McGraw] Wowie!

[knocks on door]

Lemme out! Lemme out!

Uh-uh-uh-uh!

He won't let you out till he gets his biscuits.

What we do?

Run, buy some biscuits, Baba Looey.

I'll hold my breath till you get back.

Okay, Queeks Draw.

And hurry, please.

It's a matter of life and breath.

All right, your dog biscuits.

Mucho thanks.

Here I come, Queeks Draw.

Okay, Snuffles, let him out now.

[exhales]

[crash]

I'm gonna build me a big ranch house

with lots of holes in the roof, out in the wide open spaces

with that reward money.

Look, Queeks Draw.

l think Snuffles got the skunk in the bag.

Uh-uh-uh-uh.

[McGraw] Good work, Snuffles.

Here, catch. I forgive you.

Mm-mm-mm!

Mm-mm-mm! Mm.

Say, Queeks Draw, what are we gonna do with the little skunk?

The least we can do

is give the little feller

one of these biscuits.

Here, catch.

Mm-mm-mm!

Mm-mm-mm!

Mm.

l like that Queeks Draw.

He's got a soft heart and a head to match.

[chuckles]

[closing theme music]

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[announcer] Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals...

...has brought you...

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[McGraw] Hey, Baba Looey! Are you all right?

S'awright.