Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

Kellogg's. The best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

~ The high-falutin'est fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

~ That's Quick Draw McGraw JS

Brought to you by...

[instrumental music]

-[Zoom-Zoom] Take that! -[buzzing]

And that, you Human Fly Burglar, you!

[narrator] Foiled again, by the great Captain Zoom-Zoom.

So long till next time, my loyal TV fans.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep.

So long, Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep.

Blab, it actually behooves

my creditability, how you believe

that Captain Zoom-Zoom mish-mash.

Captain Zoom-Zoom is my hero, Snoop.

Next to you, of course.

Blab, for your gullible information,

Captain Zoom-Zoom is a phony baloney.

But, Snoop, he just captured

the Human Fly Burglar, single handed!

Your naiveness repels me.

Don't you realize that--

[man on TV] Flash! We bring you a special new bulletin!

The real Human Fly Burglar has just threatened to steal

the terribly expensive Pascounyak sapphire

from J. Platitude Pascounyak's home.

Now, if there was a Captain Zoom-Zoom,

the Human Fly Burglar wouldn't stand a chance.

Our switchboards have been deluged with calls demanding

that Captain Zoom-Zoom capture the real Human Fly Burglar.

Captain Zoom-Zoom, will you go after

the real Human Fly Burglar?

Natch. All Human Fly Burglars are alike

to the great Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep.

Save your fweeps, Blab.

The whole thing's probably just a publicity stunt.

Snoop, I'm afraid you're becoming hard, and cynical.

-[telephone rings] -Snooper Detective Agency.

A small down payment's all you need,

to help us solve the case, indeed!

Snoop speaking. Who? Captain Zoom-Zoom?

Uh, 1 thought you were out catching the Human Fly Burglar.

-Quote, fweep fweep, unquote. -Are you kidding?

1 couldn't catch a twelve pound bass, if it was in a derby hat.

That's why I'm calling you.

You want us to impersonate you,

and, uh, capture the Human Fly Burglar?

Will you do it for fifty thousand dollars?

Hurry. ! have a splitting headache.

Oh, for that kind of bucks money,

I'd wrestle an octopus in Lacey's window,

with me hands tied behind my sacroiliac.

What do you think of your precious

Captain Zoom-Zoom now, Blab?

1 feel sort of disenchanted.

That's why it's our bound and made duty

to prevent his millions of fans from becoming likewise.

But how, Snoop?

Elementary schooly, dear Blab.

All we need is a fearless, courageous, athletic type

to dress up like Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Oh, boy, you're going after

the Human Hly Burglar, huh, Snoop?

To the contrary, Blab, you're going to be Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Only a top-notch private eye like Snoop would prevent

millions of fans from becoming disenchanted.

[vroom]

1 got to admit, you look pretty good

in that Captain Zoom-Zoom getup, Blab.

! sure gotta admit, l feel terribly proud.

Hey, Snoop, look at that man

going up the side of that building.

[Snoop] Oh, the elevator must be out of kilter.

[Blab] Gosh, he's just like a fly!

Just like a Human Fly Burglar, that is.

He's headed for the Pascounyak penthouse,

and a terribly expensive sapphire! Let's go!

I'm one fly that prefers sapphires to sugar.

Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Stop! In the name of Channel 32!

Uh-oh, it's Captain Zoom-Zoom, with some other goony guy!

-Go get him, Captain Zoom-Zoom! -Right, Snoop!

But first, l have just one question,

do you think these suction cups will really work?

Well, if they don't, Blab,

we'll return them and get our money back.

That seems fair enough.

[popping]

Now the safe should be behind the painting.

It always is! Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!

There you are, come to me, my terrible expensive sapphire.

Oh, you mean my terribly expensive sapphire.

lam J. Platitude Pascounyak, and I resent your stealing it!

And I'm the Human Fly Burglar,

who doesn't care what you resent!

And I'm the fearless, and athletic Captain Zoom-Zoom,

come to the rescue! Stick ‘em up!

Captain Zoom-Zoom, I'm your greatest fan.

! beg to differ. ! am your greatest fan.

May I have your autograph?

-Please? -No, no.

May I have your autograph?

Double please?

Gee, thanks loads.

It's a heroic pleasure, I'm sure.

And next, to my richest fan.

Or maybe I should make it to my zillionaire friend,

J. Plentitude--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I'd much rather have my terribly expensive sapphire,

than your autograph.

You're right. First things first.

But where is the Human Fly Burglar?

There he is, on the ceiling.

Don't just stand there, Zoom-Zoom.

Shoot him down with your Captain Zoom-Zoom gun.

-Right, J.P. -Ready!

-Right, J.P. -Aim!

-Right, J.P. -Fire!

Right, J.P.

Never mind, I'll get him with my elephant gun!

Well, then, you'll be needing more light.

Egad! My terribly expensive ten ton chandelier!

[thud]

There goes the Human Fly Burglar!

With J. Platitude Pascounyak's terribly expensive sapphire!

But now it's my terribly expensive sapphire!

Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Don't worry, Snoop!

Captain Zoom-Zoom is still on the job!

-[boing] -[buzzing]

[thud]

[Zoom-Zoom] And that's how I captured

the Human Fly Burglar,

all by myself.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep!

Captain Zoom-Zoom, you're the greatest.

Fweep fweep fweep fweep fweep!

We must face it,

the real heroes aren't all on TV.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

Steady, men. This jungle is full of dangerous aminals.

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

Hark! ! hear the snarl

of the wild and ferocious Jack o'napes.

What's that you say, Ugga-Ugga, my faithful gun boy?

O master, wagga-wagga, ugga-ugga, me chicken.

You mean you're afraid and want us to turn back, eh?

Yes, master, back, back.

Ugga-wagga, back.

Go back if you're scared, my faithful gun boy,

but I shall dare to get him bravely by myself.

Great hunter not afraid?

Afraid? Ha-ha-ha, it is to laugh.

1 shall get that wild Jack o'napes,

or my name isn't Augie Doggie, The Jungle Boy!

[snoring]

He's the biggest, the meanest Jack o'napes

l ever saw.

-I'll take careful aim and... -[pop]

Bang! Take that, you wild Jack o'napes, you.

-Huh, huh? -[swoosh]

Augie, Augie, run for your life!

There's a wild Jack o'napes loose!

Wake up, sleepy-headed dad.

There's nothin’ to be afraid of.

But, Augie, what about the Jack o'napes?

And, come to think of if, may I inquire

as to what is a wild Jack o'napes?

Well, you know, it's just an animal,

it's eight feet tall, which I just mortally wounded.

Heh-heh-heh, well, you shouldn't clutter the living room

with Jack o'napes carcasses.

Put him in the closet, Augie, it's neater that way.

-Okay, dad. -Heh-he-heh.

What an imagination that boy has.

[man] And now, we bring you the next chapter

of Tom Tomtom, The Jungle Boy.

But first, we bring you a special news bulletin.

Police are still searching for a gorilla named Bongo-Bongo,

who escaped from the city zoo this morning.

Oh, dad, dear old dad!

What is it, jungle son o' mine?

I'm goin' on a safari, you wanna come along?

No thanks, Augie, it just so happens

that I got a luncheon engagement,

with a hippopatamosaurias, heh-heh-heh-heh.

Too bad, busy father of mine.

I'm gonna capture a gorilla.

With a can of paint and some bananas?

Uh-huh, I'm gonna build a gorilla trap.

So long, dad.

"Free gorilla food." There, that oughta tempt him.

Now, I'll hide in the bushes.

And when he stops to have a free lunch, I got him!

[chattering]

[munching]

It worked! Bong-Bongo walked right into my trap.

Stick ‘em up, Bongo-Bongo. You're my prisoner!

[whimpers]

Gee, Bongo-Bongo, ! didn't mean to frighten ya.

-You're scared, aren't you? -[chatters]

You poor thing!

How would you like to come home with me

and be my very own pet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[stomps]

Then gimme your little hand and I'll take you with me.

[chatters]

Oh, dad, your adventuring son is back.

That's good, Augie, and how many gorillas

did you capture, imaginative son of mine?

Just one. Would you like to meet him?

Not now, Augie. I'm too busy puttin’ things away.

But if you put him in this closet, out of the way,

I'll say hello to him later, heh-heh!

Okay, Bongo-Bongo, in the closet, like daddy says.

Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.

Bongo-Bongo is in the closet, dad.

That's fine, Augie.

I'll bring him a deck of cards,

so he and the wild Jack o'napes can pass the time

playin’ gingery rummy, heh-heh-heh.

Hey, what's my old raccoon coat doin’ in here?

! thought I packed that old thing in a trunk years ago.

Yikes. It's alive with moths!

[thud]

And the moths are hostile!

And if there's one thing l can't stand,

it's hostile moths.

Augie, call the bug exterminators, quick!

What for, dad? The only one in that closet is Bongo-Bongo.

-Huh? What's a Bongo-Bongo? -I'Il show you.

-Come on out, Bongo-Bongo. -[bash]

Be careful, dad's behind that door.

-Huh? -[slam]

Well, he was.

Where are you, missing father?

Here I am, Augie.

Imagine, thrown out of my own house

by a raccoon coat. What a dilemmia.

Bongo-Bongo didn't mean it.

He'll be more careful next time.

Jumpin' Jack o'napies, it's a gorilla!

He's harmless, dear old dad.

Can he stay with us, huh, please, can he?

1 don't know about that, Augie.

I'll have to think it over.

And, being a slow thinker, check with me in about 37 years.

When you see how affectionate Bongo is,

you'll decide right away, dad.

Yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!

Okay, all right, I'm convinced.

I'm convinced he's lovable, Augie.

Tell him to put me down.

Then you'll adopt him as your very own son?

But l already have a son who's full of monkey shines.

Um, couldn't he be your nephew, dad?

Yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!

That's a thought, Augie.

After all, how many fathers can also say

they're a monkey's uncle, heh-heh-heh-heh!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[Masked Mosquito] Bee, bee, bee, bee. Stick 'em up.

[gun firing]

[narrator] Another daring bank robbery is pulled

by that mysterious outlaw, the Masked Mosquito.

[buzzing]

[laughing]

Leaving an empty bank.

What'll we do with all the empty space in the vault

where the money used to be, Mr. Bank President.

Well, since I've been stung by the Masked Mosquito

! can sure use it.

[bam]

And here is the town sheriff.

Oh, sheriff, we know you must be very busy.

-Can we ask you a question? -Yes.

[s it true that because of the Masked Mosquito robberies

the citizens threatened to run you out of town on a rail?

Well, let's put it this way. Yes, it's true. See you around.

-Ah, just a minute, sheriff. -Hold it, boys.

The famous Quick Draw McGraw is coming to town.

He might be able to help you.

Quick Draw McGraw. No, thanks.

I'll quit while I'm ahead. Get up, boys!

See, Quicks Draw, look! ! thin’ that fellow is riding a rail.

Must be the poor fellow can't afford a horse, Baba Looey.

-Oh, Quick Draw. -Yes.

-What are you doing in town? -l come lookin’ for work.

Well, ! see cowboys can't even afford horses in this town.

-The town does need a sheriff. -It does?

-Well, I'm their man. -That's true because...

~ He's the high-falutin'est sastest shooin'est f

£ Quick Draw McGraw SS

You're little flat, but, uh, thanks, Baba boy.

-There's just one thing. -Ah, what's that?

If you want to be sheriff you have

to capture the Masked Mosquito.

It's no sooner said than don't.

And do-o-on't you forget it.

l thin' Quicks Draw speak my language.

He don't speak so good either.

How you thin' you catch this Masked Mosquito, Quicks Draw?

Simple, Baba boy. See that Saloon over yonder.

One of those critters in there is the Masked Mosquito.

-Unmasked, of course. -Oh, of course.

You and I will have a fake fight and, uh...

1 got it. Then he will ask me to join his gang.

Right. And when we know who he is,

we got the varmint and the gold.

Is a pretty good idea.

Quicks Draw must have seen it on TV, I thin’.

Well, uh, after lookin’ all of these gunslingers over

my intuition tells me that tuff lookin' hombre

is really the Masked Mosquito without...

Without what, Quicks Draw?

Without his mask, of course.

Okay! Let's go to work.

Right! And remember to make it look good.

-Ready? -I'm ready.

Why don't you look where you're going

you little sort of galoot. Take that!

What do I do now, Quicks Draw?

Uh, make believe you're angry. Put on a good act.

Okay.

[speaking in foreign language]

-Am I mad. Yeah! -Oh, yeah?

[thud]

Ooh, does that ever smart.

Not only that, but you're a big bully too.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah!

Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

[bam]

Gee. Can I join your gang, Mr. Mosquito?

What gang? I'm the village blacksmith.

Bee, bee, bee.

-Hey, you. Come here. -[screech]

! am the Masked Mosquito.

-Unmasked, of course. -Of course.

What did you just do to that polecat McGraw?

I'll show you.

[thud]

That's pretty good! How would you like to join my gang?

Sure, Mr. Mosquito. Let's go.

Not so fast. You gotta pass a test first.

-A test? -Yeah.

-Let's see you rob a bank. -Okay.

Hey, Quicks Draw, ! thin’ the trick is workin’.

Trick? What trick?

Oh-oh. ! almost spilled the frijoles.

1 better do something quick.

-Hey, you. -Who, me?

Yes, you. You big bully. Take this.

[boing]

You gotta admit. Baba Looey is a mighty fine little actor.

[buzzing]

I'm a little Mosquito. Stick 'em up.

[laughing]

Bee, bee, bee.

Ain't he cute?

Hold on there, unmasked Mosquito. The jig is up.

It's that no good hombre, Quick Draw McGraw.

Let's vamoose, little Mosquito.

Bee, bee, bee.

Right. Bee, bee, bee.

l thin’ now, maybe, Quicks Draw will catch him.

-Hey, Quicks Draw. -Oops.

Did you catch him?

-Who, Baba boy? -The Masked Mosquito.

He just ran out of the bank.

Well, I declare.

l didn't recognosize him with his mask off.

Then I thin’ ! better catch him myself.

Come to think of it, ! wouldn't recognosize him

with his mask on, either.

You made a nice haul, little Mosquito.

Now, let's divide the loot.

Oh, that's a good idea, Mr. Mosquito.

Come on. Let me have what's coming to me.

[Baba Looey] That's a good idea too.

[crash]

Like Quick Draw says, "Ooh, that smarts."

Okay, Baba boy. I'll take over the tough part now.

And throw him in jail.

Oh, no, you don't. 1 saw the whole thing.

-You did? -Yeah.

And the little fellow did it all by himself.

You, big faker!

-l resent that. -Resent this.

[bam]

Ooh, that was a real smarter.

Baba Looey, now that you're sheriff

what is Quick Draw going to do?

Oh, Quicks Draw is leavin' town.

Is he traveling by stage coach?

No. I thin' he's goin’ by rail.

-[man] All aboard. -Well, so long, Quick Draw.

-Have a nice trip. -Thank you. I will.

So long. Ooh!

That splinter smarts. Ooh, ouch. Ooh, ooh.

Ouch, ouch. Ouch, ouch. Ooh, ooh.

[instrumental music]

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereal.

The best to you each morning has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

~ The high-falutin'est fastest shootin'est

£ Cowboy you ever saw Jf

[Quick Draw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you all right?

S'awright.