Original subtitles

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's, the best to you each morning,

from Kellogg's.

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

£ Riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by Kellogg's...

[opening theme music]

[narrator] With the completion of the first dam

much needed water was harnessed to feed

the parched ranch lands of the Old West.

But as usual, lawlessness moved into harass the settlers.

It's finished, boys. Come and get your pay.

The first maverick what touches that gold gets led.

[all] It is Dynamite Kaboom.

[laughing]

The chips were down.

A fight to the finish between outlaws

and law-and-order.

Here's a good one.

The sheriff is goin’ after Dynamite Kaboom.

[laughing]

That is a hot one.

Sheriff! Oh, sheriff. Run for your life.

Why, deputy? Did the dam break?

No! Dynamite Kaboom is in town, gunnin’ for you.

Where is the varmint?

Here I am. And I'm gunnin' for you.

Take this.

Water! Gee, thanks, Dynamite.

! thought it was going to be led.

That's just a sample of what this town's gonna get.

When I dynamite the dam. One big ker-splash.

The sheriff needed help. So he set for...

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Quick Draw McGraw Sf

Quick Draw, I sent for you because Dynamite Kaboom

is a gonna blow up the new dam.

Well, ! don't mind a little rain, once in a while

but one big ker-splash, ! don't like.

Eh, will you stop Dynamite Kaboom?

For the sake of the settlers.

! sure will. And thanks for the $10,000 reward.

Now, who said anything about a $10,000 reward?

Uh, how about a grand?

-A grand, what? -A grand total of $50.

I'll take it.

l like that Queeks Draw. He's got a head for figures.

All zeros.

l will divide the reward with Snuffles.

Who will help us track do-o-own Dynamite Kaboom.

Who is Snuffles?

I'll show you. Hey, Snuffles.

Ya, ya, ya.

Snuffles, I didn't know you were a married man type dog.

Ya, ya, ya.

[all] Ya, ya, ya.

l hate to break-up this family togetherness.

But we have a job to do.

Go home.

[all] Aw-w-w!

Snuffles will do anything for a dog biscuit.

-Anything? -Anything.

Will he jump through that window?

Well, ! assure. Watch.

Here's a dog biscuit, Snuffles.

Then jump through a window.

Ah, ah, ah.

[Quick Draw] Catch!

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Ah-h-h.

[crash]

thin' Snuffles found Dynamite Kaboom's trail already.

Ha. Go home.

[all] Aw-w-w!

Hey, something has found Snuffles.

You mean Snuffles has found something.

Bring it here, Snuffles.

It looks like dynamite.

It smells like dynamite.

It tastes like dynamite.

And it kabooms like dynamite.

There is Dynamite Kaboom on the dam.

One big ker-splash.

[laughing] And I'll take over the whole town.

Go-o-o, get the varmint, Snuffles!

Uh-oh. Ah, ah, ah.

No-o-o, surrey. Not till you get Dynamite Kaboom first.

[grumbling] Darn cheapskate.

! thin' he's got him, Queeks Draw.

l think so too, Baba Boy.

Put me down, you flea bitten creature.

Nice work, Snuffles. And here's a biscuit for you.

Catch!

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Ah-h-h.

And now, as for you, your kaboomin' days are over,

Dynamite Kaboom.

Oh, yeah? Well, I got a timer on that dynamite.

What do you mean, a timer?

l thin’ it means that any minute

there's going to be one big ker-splash.

Hold on, there!

[clock ticking]

! wonder how you turn this thing off?

[Baba Looey] Queeks Draw, throw in the waters, quick.

Well, why didn't l think of that?

In goes the dynamite.

And in you go after the dynamite.

And in you go, Dynamite Kaboom.

Help! Snuffles! 1 can't swim.

Ah, ah, ah.

Save me first.

Uh-oh.

[Quick Draw] Al-l-lright. Catch!

Ah-h-h.

Nice work, Snuffles.

He loves those dog biscuits.

Help! 1 can't swim either.

Ah, ah, ah.

[Dynamite Kaboom] l haven't got any dog biscuits.

Oh-h-h. Tsk, tsk.

That's alright. 1 save him for the jail, I thin’.

There, Snuffles. Here's the reward money.

-You deserve it all. -Ah-ah.

How come? You have a family to support.

Ah, ah, ah. Uh-uh-uh.

! thin' he rather have the box of dog biscuits, Queeks Draw.

Well, then, here. Live it up.

[whistling]

[all] Ah, ah, ah.

[all] Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Ah-h-h.

That's what I call, like father like sons, yes.

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

[Snooper] Ah, springtime, when we can remove our shoes,

and run barefoot through fields of beautiful avunculars.

Blab, it's here.

It is? Oh, boy! Give it to me, Snoop.

What in odds bonkins are you talkin’ about, Blab?

I'm sorry, Snoop, 1 thought my package arrived.

-[honking] -Mailman!

Hot diggity, thanks, mailman!

It's here, Snoop!

Uh, what is?

Besides the arrival of spring, Blab?

My book about Mars, and outer space!

And, uh, what about the inner space, between your ears?

Gosh, this is interesting, Snoop.

And, uh, what's so interesting?

Well, it might come in handy,

in our private eye business.

Are you laborin' to tell me there's a remiss possibility

of us working a caper on Mars?

It could happen, Snoop.

Let us not be knave, Blab, it could never happen.

[telephone ringing]

Snooper Detective Agency.

If you've got trouble, we'll be there on the double,

Snoop speakin’'.

[indistinct chatters over the phone]

What?

[chatters continue]

Uh, it's for you, Blab.

It sounds like one of your goofy relation relatives.

Thanks, Snoop. Hello?

[chatters continue]

It's a 1207 on Mars, Snoop!

A"1207"?

That means "Old Ladies Stealin’' Kumquats."

Not on Mars, it doesn't.

It means Earth monkey, stealing layor ybur!

Uh, what's a layor your?

That's royal ruby, spelled backwards!

They'll give you twelve million krimolians to get it back.

Blab, even with a full gas tank, we'd never make it to Mars.

That's been taken care of, Snoop, observe.

What in blunderation?

Let's go, Snoop!

Our Martian saucer awaits.

And I thought this was gonna be just a hummy drum day.

Look, Snoop, a Martian.

Uh, okay, Blab.

Make with the gobbly gook.

[speaking in Martian language]

The layor ybur was stolen by a monkey

that landed in that Earth missile.

Ain't that a hit in the head?

A dishonest monkey on Mars.

Uh, ask him to stop with the rock and roll,

and give us a Clue.

He is, Snoop.

And there he is, now.

It's the dishonest monkey, with the layor ybur.

Hey, Earthling! Drop that ybur!

In the name of the Private Eye Telescope and Chowder Society!

After him, Blab!

He's going into the Layor Ecalap, Snoop!

The what?

That's the royal palace,

spelled backwards.

Oh, yeah?

Well, just hold it a sec, Blab.

Uh, maybe it's a trap.

Welcome, how are you today?

Uh, we're fine.

How are you?

Fine, thanks.

Wipe your feet, and come right in.

Uh, thanks.

You are welcome.

This is a recording.

Gosh, Snoop, everything's so scientific.

All except that layor your stealer,

wherever that monkey is.

There he is, Snoop, in the Layor Nehctik.

Layor Nehctik, what in carnation does that mean?

It means the royal kitchen.

He's hiding behind those dishes.

We got you covered, you, yeknom!

Snoop catches on fast,

yeknom is monkey spelled backwards!

Help, Blab! Help!

I'm bein' attacked by Martian saucers!

Poor Snoop!

He's being dishwhacked!

Maybe we ought to forget about the royal ruby.

That's layor your spelled backwards, Snoop.

Not until 1 clap the maniacals on that yeknom!

Yikes!

Here comes the yeknom now!

Double yikes!

He's got a disinteresting gun!

You mean a disintegrating gun, Snoop!

Either way, Blab.

I'm disinterested.

Flee, for our very lives, Blab!

I'm fleein', Snoop!

What do we do, Snoop?

Elementary school, me dear Blab,

let's get out of this Layor Ecalap!

Goodbye, and do visit us again soon.

This is a recording.

Not on your tentripe,

and this is not a recording.

Look, Snoop!

Our saucercycle.

And just in the necklace of time.

Here comes the yeknom!

Hey, Snoop!

Yeah, Blab?

Can I drive after a while? Can I?

Oh, boy.

This thing rides like a feather.

[crash]

And drops like a lead balloon.

Hey, Snoop. We got company.

What do we do now?

That's easy, Blab. Wake him up.

Lemme try talkin’ to him, Snoop.

He-he-he-he-he-he.

He-he-he-he-he.

We must face it.

The kid's been hiding his light in a bushel.

Here you are, Snoop.

Blab, now, how did you get it?

It was easy.

l just swapped him a peanut for the ruby.

Good work, Blab.

Uh, remember to include the cost of that peanut

in the expense account.

We best step on it, Blab.

We gotta get back to Earth.

I'm not leavin', Snoop.

And why not, pray tell?

Because they just made me their leader,

and I can't leave my people so soon.

Okay, I grant you a month's leave of absence.

Without pay, of course.

Gosh, Snoop! You're too good to me.

I know it, Blab.

Arrivederci.

Hello? Uh, no, ! don't need an assistant.

l already got one to fill in for Blab.

And what's more, he works for peanuts.

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

Then, after ! fought the fiery dragons,

a hundred pirates attack-ded me,

but I, Augie Doggie, was not afraid because...

Whoops, my pencil broke.

Oh, dear old Dad?

What is it, Augie my boy?

May I use the carving knife to sharpen my pencil?

You're too young to play with the carving knife, Augie.

Then how will ! finish writing my adventurous life story,

helpful Dad?

Your life story?

Augie, my son, my son, you're just a kid,

so what's to write?

Your horrend-ious bout with the measles?

1 fought six dragons and a hundred pirates,

and I've had numerous other blood-curdling adventures.

Like findin' lumps in your mashed potatoes,

or seeds in your seedless grapes?

You're laughing at me, thoughtless Dad,

and I abhor ridicule.

That's my boy that said that,

and I wish I knew what it meant.

Well, it simply means let there be hilarity in mirth,

but let it be tempered with a certain reserve,

signifying a consideration for the feelings of others.

Never-the-nonetheless,

it's time all smart little boys were in bed.

Ipso factori.

When will 1 grow up, dear old Dad?

Not for a long time yet, Augie boy.

Are you gonna keep naggin' me about bein’ a kid till then,

grown up Dad of mine?

When you stop actin’ like a kid,

I'll stop treatin’ you like one.

You mean when I start actin’ grown up,

! won't be a kid anymore?

Somethin’ like that.

Now let me read my paper.

l say, old chum,

have you got a light?

Augie, give me that!

I'm just tryin’ to act grown up, dear old Dad.

That's not the way, l assure you.

It isn't?

How's the stock market doin’, Pops?

Augie, little shavers don't shave.

Now put my razor back.

Dad, I'm tryin’ awful hard to grow up

so I! won't be a kid nuisance anymore.

Why won't you let me?

1 got nothin’ to do with it, Augie.

Time and the outside world will soon make you grow up.

The outside world will soon make me grow up?

Thanks for the adult advice, adult father.

Good night and goodbye.

Good night and goodbye, offspring of mine.

Goodbye?

Augie, wait a minute.

How do you like that?

He's gonna run away from home.

Look out, outside world, here 1 come, ready or not.

"Dear old Dad,

lam running away

and shall return when I am grown up.

Love, your son Augie.

P.S., you may have my pitcher's mitt for your very own."

Augie thought a lot of that pitcher's mitt.

It's genuine simulated nogora hide.

It's awful dark in the outside world,

but I'm not scared.

There goes my boy,

and I can't ask him to come back.

It would make him grow up with a block,

or even a couple of blocks.

Never-and-nonetheless, ! would be amiss as a father

if 1 didn't show him he wasn't ready

for the outside world.

Golly, these woods sure look spooky.

One little boy plus one spook

equals a mad dash for home.

Boo!

I'm a spooky ghost.

Boo, go on home! Boo!

Only a kid who isn't grown up would be scared.

I'm not.

Boo, boo!

Boo, boo, grr!

Yowch!

! don't think you understand, my boy.

I distinctly said "boo."

! must be growin’ up.

! think he's silly.

l reiter-erate boo, boo, and boo-boo!

Go haunt a house, you fugitive from a clothesline.

1 better scram before Augie finds out who I am.

S Dum de dum dum dum dum f

£ Dum de dum dum dum SS

Stick ‘em up, varmint!

This here is a stick up.

Oh boy, a really western outlaw.

What's your name?

You've heard of Jesse James?

-Sure, but you're not old Jesse. -I'm not?

Well, you heard of Billy the kid.

And you're not him, either.

Tell me you never heard of Two-gun Canafrez?

No.

I'd been awfully surprised if he answered

in the affirmative.

You may draw when ready, two-gun.

Wait a minute,

where did you get that slingshot?

Oh, out of my bindle bundle. Now draw.

just remembered I've got to tumble some weeds

in abilene.

Come back and fight, Canafrez.

I'm beginnin' to think I'm the one

that's not ready for the outside world.

It's morning, and if wasn't so grown up,

I'd be terribly sleepy.

What ho, and lack-a-day, me lad?

Golly, it's Robin Hood.

Wouldst care to join my merry men?

! sure wouldst.

Golly.

Then get thee thou home and waiteth

till thou art grown upst.

If you were the real Robin Hood,

you'd take me now.

If l prove I'm Robin Hood,

will you go home and wait?

-Yes, sir. -Then watch.

Only Robin Hood can bring down a duck from 200 yards.

All right, who's the wise guy?

Uh, trick or treat, officer.

Golly, I'm gettin’ hungry.

Even grownups have to eat.

Hello, I'm Peggy Poodles.

I'm a girl.

Do you want some of my lollipop?

l like you, do you like me?

Uh, uh... [clears throat]

You're a boy, aren't you? What's your name?

Mine's Peggy Poodles.

Oh Dad, dear old Dad, come quick.

Augie, what chased you home?

A pack of wild Indians?

No, Dad, but what's a peggy poodle?

That's my boy who's growin’ up.

[closing theme music]

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals...

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

Hey, Baba Looey! Are you all right?

S'awright.