Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's! The best to you each morning!

From Kellogg's!

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Riding around your way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by...

[theme music]

[vocalizing]

[gasps]

Ol' Snaggletooth has flown the Coop.

Sound the alarm! Fill out a dragnet.

Ol' Snaggletooth has escaped.

Ah, freedom, nectar of the untethered,

balsam of the fettered.

-[siren blaring] -Hark!

'Tis the pealing wail of the snitching siren

foreboding me ill.

So exit stage right.

Come back here, you ingrate!

[Snaggletooth] Not on your life!

l can't stand closed places.

I'm a sufferer of claustrophobia.

That's near snide, Nevada.

You'll never get that far.

The police will be after you then you'll be sorry.

Attention, all cars, be on the lookout

for a dangerous lion, just escaped from the zoo.

Speakin' of lions, what's that over there?

S Oh, we hitch and we hike And we hike and we hitch f

f All on a summer day f

[siren blaring]

Heavens to Murgatroyd, minions of the law,

cops even, so exit stage right.

Keep on his tail, Ralph.

Right, Joe.

Oh, great, now we're really up a tree.

l pause my fugitive flight, ‘er drop, utterly pooped.

May haps I can find refuge in this house.

Bills, bills, bills.

Nothin’ but bills.

! wish I had the bills to pay all these bills.

-[laughs] -[Augie] Bang, bang, bang.

Augie, my son, my son,

! would appreciate a little more quiet.

I'm not Augie, your son, your son, unimaginative dad,

I'm a mighty hunter.

Have you see any wild beasts go by this way?

Not even tsetse, tsetse fly, almighty hunter.

[laughs] Now go on mighty huntin' elsewhere.

AS you Say, disturbed dad.

-[doorbell rings] -I'Il get it.

It might be my invitation to join the Explorer's Club.

[laughs] That boy.

Trick or treat.

Say, that's a very for really lion costume you have on.

I've had it a long time.

We're practically inseparable, you might say.

It's the best skin on the market,

or off even.

How come it's Halloween in August?

Why not?

Be first, ! always say.

Beat the Christmas rush.

[man on radio] We interrupt this program to bring you an alert.

An escaped lion is at large.

Be careful, he is dangerous.

An escaped lion.

How droll.

[Augie] Yeah, and you're it.

Don't move or I'll shoot.

! may look like a dangerous lion to you,

but inside I'm pure chicken.

I'll cook, I'll sew, I'll scrub the floors.

Please let me stay.

Give me sanctuary,

-and I'll sanctuary much. -Well, okay.

-Don't step on the laugh. -But dear old dad won't like it.

Augie, who was at the door?

It was a rug salesman, dear old dad.

Look at the sample he gave us.

If that's a sample, what does he sell? Elephant skins?

The rug is moth-proof, and you only have to feed it

once a day.

Can we keep it, Dad?

Well, what does he eat, Augie?

Mothballs? [laughs]

It sure must have done a lot of traveling.

There's mud on its feet.

I'll shake it out a bit.

[banging]

Stop it, Dad, you'll hurt him.

[laughs] You can't hurt a lion skin rug, Augie.

See? It has no feelin's.

Oh, brother.

[laughs] I've always wanted to smoke a pipe while restin’'

on a lion skin.

The bills can wait while I take a little snooze.

[snoring]

Yikes!

Methinks me nother end is ablaze.

Yow!

What happened? How did I get here?

Where's the rug?

Augie, there's somethin’ awful peculiar going on here.

Think fast, buster, or it's back to the cages for me.

Where are ya, Augie?

I'm out here beatin’ the rug, Dad.

Ah, freedom, with all its intricate ramifications.

This is the last house in the neighborhood.

He must be in there, let's go.

[doorbell rings]

You better let me get it, Augie,

in case it's another rug salesman.

You were right, there he is on the floor.

There who is on what floor?

-Keep calm, sir, we'll save ya. -Save me from what?

From that dangerous escaped lion over there.

Heavens to Murgatroyd, looks like I'm destined

to really be a lion skin.

You must be kiddin’, Officer.

That's nothin’ but an undangerous lion skin.

I'll show ya.

Could ! do that to a dangerous lion?

Well, no.

Or dusting.

[banging]

No. Sorry to bother you, so long.

Dad, please stop before you hurt him.

For the last time, Augie, I'm gonna prove

that this dusty old lion skin has no feelin's.

Desist, oh, please, 1 surrender.

Take me to your cage.

Jumpin’ jehoshaphat, the skin's alive.

Please, don't shoot ol’ Snaggletooth, kind hearted dad.

He's my pal.

That's the best suggestion I've heard today,

or ever, even.

The jungles have tigers and lions and elephants

and alligators and monkeys and parrots.

[laughs]

After all, how many kids got a real, live lion skin

to study geography on?

Ain't it the truth?

[theme music]

Say, Queeks Draw,

what do you thin’ the mayor wants with you, anyhow?

1 don't rightly know, Baba Looey.

But when a Texas mayor sends for Quick Draw,

there's somethin’ big a-brewin’.

-[knocking on door] -Come in.

-[indistinct] -Howdy, Your Mayor Highness!

Quick Draw McGraw, at your service.

In behalf of our fair city, 1 welcome you,

and I say without fear of successful contradiction

that unless something is done to rid our glorious city

of the blight that is upon it,

! view the future with alarm and trepidation.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Chihuahua! What a windsbag!

You mean Billy the Kid is back in town?

Oh, if it were only that simple.

1! Know! The Dalton Boys are makin’ trouble again.

l assure you, my friends and constituents,

it's worse than that.

Worse than that? Adios, Queeks Draw.

1 don't thin' 1 want this job.

Hold it, Baba Looey! I'll do the thinnin' around here.

And don't you forget it.

From the rock-bound coast of Maine

to the sun-kissed shores of California, I'm--

Hold on thar, Mayor!

Give it to me quick-like.

! could be double-parked, you know.

Well, ! was elected because of

my successful jackrabbit raids.

Election is comin’ up again,

but I won't be re-elected this year.

Didn't you get rid of the jackrabbits

like you promised your constituents?

All but one... Scooter Rabbit.

And I've got to get rid of him before election time, McGraw.

But how will l recogna-size this Scooter Rabbit?

[Scooter Rabit] Yahoo!

Welcome to "You Bet Your Life You Won't Catch Me."

-Yahoo! -[toing]

Hiya, Mayor! Been stuffing any ballot boxes lately?

Yahoo!

That's him! Get him,

and I'll make you postmaster or somethin"!

How you going to catch that jackrabbit, Queeks Draw?

That's easy, Baba Boy.

All 1 do is get me the best hunting dog there is.

You must mean Snuffles, the dog biscuit-hungry pup.

-The very same. -Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

Here's a dog biscuit, Snuffles. Catch.

[gulps] Mm-mm!

Mm-mm-mm!

[sighs]

This Snuffles sure likes his dog biscuits.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

No more, Snuffles. Can you help me catch that Scooter Rabbit?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

[sniffing]

Somehow I got the feeling I'm being followed.

Is anybody home? Not that it's any of my business,

but how do you know? l hope you're hale and hearty.

l used to know Hale and Hearty once.

They went to different schools together.

-Say "Ah." -Ah!

Ah, what do you know?

[echoing] You got a deviated septum. But don't worry.

We'll put you to bed and give you lots of rest.

! wonder if Snuffles has found that jackrabbit yet.

Uh-oh! Look, Queeks Straw! Snuffles got hurt.

Maybe we should have brought flowers or something.

There's nothing wrong with Snuffles.

That Scooter Rabbit must have tricked him.

Hold on thar, you tricky rabbit!

Why, if it isn't Hale and Hearty!

Why aren't you at different schools together?

Because we've come to teach you a lesson.

Get him, Snuffles!

[growling]

You look well again.

I think I'll let you go home tomorrow.

You'll be an outpatient. Out, out, out, out.

[growling]

You have 32 teeth.

Would you like to try for 16?

After him, Snuffles! Don't let him out of your sight.

Atta boy, Snuffles!

Keep after him!

[growling]

You almost got him now!

Come on! Let's have a little school spirit.

All together now!

Strawberry shortcake, huckleberry pie!

[both] V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

-Will we win? -Well, 1 guess.

[both] Snuffles, Snuffles, yes, yes, yes.

Hooray, Snuffles!

Say, Queeks Draw,

thin' there's something you should know.

1 Know. I do the thinnin' around here, Baba Looey.

What I thin' is Scooter is doing all of the thinnin’.

Scooter?

! think ! might be scootin’ off!

Yahoo!

Grab him, Snuffles!

Yeah, grab me, Snuffles!

Yoo-hoo, Snuffles! Grab me quick!

[growls]

Yoo-hoo, Snuffles!

[Snuffles growls]

Quit your dally-dillying, Snuffles!

Go get him!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

Okay, here's a dog biscuit. Catch!

[gulps]

Mm-mm! Mm!

[sighs]

-Hey, Queeks Straw, look! -Well, what do you know?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

[Quick Draw] Here, catch!

[gulps] Mm-mm! Mm-mm!

[sighs]

What do you know? It's spring again!

Hey, Queeks Straw, look!

l thin' the dog biscuit's got him under control at last.

Yeah. Looks like the mayor

is going to get re-elected after all.

From the rock-bound coast of Maine

to the sun-kissed shores of California,

I'm as honest as the day is long.

! wouldn't steal a nickel. All ! wanted was a chance.

You know something, Queeks Straw?

He's pretty good. ! thin’ I'll vote for him.

[chuckles]

[theme music]

Are you ready for lesson 427, Blab?

I'm ready, Snoop.

Now pay strictly attention whilst 1 continue

your private eye education.

I'm all ears!

He can say that again, a couple of times.

Today's lesson is clues.

These are the footprints of a barefoot suspect.

Barefoot? But Snoop, those are shoe prints.

That is just a trick of the suspect to throw us off.

How fiendishly clever.

This saltshaker belonged to a suspect who never used salt.

How do you know it was his, if he never used salt?

Elementary my dear Blab, no holes in the top.

A good private eye has to notice little things like that.

What's this picture, Blab?

1 know, I Know, it's a black bear eating a licorice stick,

in a forest, at midnight.

Wrong again!

It's merely a black sheet of paper.

Gosh, Snoop! It stumped me completely.

Neverthenonetheless, Blab, I'm presenting you

with your first magnifying glass.

Wowee! Gosh, Snoop, thanks!

You're merry welcome, Blab.

Hey, there's no glass in it, Snoop.

Anybody that can't swim don't deserve water in the pool.

You know, that makes a lot of sense to me.

[telephone ringing]

Snooper Detective Agency. No case is too tough,

if the fee is enough, Snoop speaking.

You say when you got back from taking a walk, it was gone?

We'll be right over.

Speaking of bears, Blab, that was a bear family

with a 903 on their hands!

A 903?

Somebody stole their licorice stick at midnight?

No, Blab.

Somebody stole their black piece of paper?

No, Blab, but some crook did steal their porridge.

[tires screeching]

Here come the detectives, Gladys.

That's great, soend money on private eyes.

Don't buy a key for the house, oh, no!

Now, don't start in, Gladys.

Please, dear parents, at least let us attempt to show

family unity in the presence of strangers.

Junior's right.

Later, after they're gone, we'll sit down and have

a heart to heart, knock down,

drag out, argument about it, okay?

Ah, if ! were king, what peace and quiet I would bring!

lam Super Snooper.

Here's my genuine simulated gold badge,

with lettuce leaf plasters.

And I'm Blab, his able assistant.

1 got a magnifying glass.

Lead us back from the beginning.

Well, someone broke in while we were--

[Gladys] They didn't break in, they walked in.

The door was wide open. Lock the door, Bertram, ! said.

-Yes, ma'am. -"What's the deal?" He says.

"Admit you lost the key," I said.

"We never had a key," he said.

Yes, ma'am. Um, what time was this, sir?

Look, if l said it was nine o'clock, she'd say

it was two minutes after nine.

What time was it, yes, ma'am, ! mean, ma'am.

It was two minutes after nine.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate

to examine the scene of the crime?

Say, you're a smart little ragamuffin.

What grade are you in, Sonny?

Next term I hope to join the California Bears.

We must now to reenact the crime.

Okay, this is what happened, l said,

"The porridge is too hot.

So let's take a stroll in the woods."

"Lock the door," I said, just as claimed, but would he listen?

Hey, Snoop, that looks like a clue.

Hark! It's a lock of golden hair!

Eureka, Blab! 1 got it.

Sure you do, Snoop! You just picked it up!

No, you booby, Blab.

Don't you know the story of Goldilocks and the three bears?

No, Snoop. ! haven't read any of the latest books.

Well, according to the story, Goldilocks should be asleep

in Junior's bed, right now.

As Goldilocks, I'll be safe here

from Red Riding Hood's grandmamma .

She's a fright to us wolves.

Try not to startle her, and to unslumber awakeness, Blab!

1 won't, Snoop.

Uh-oh, somebody's coming.

[chuckles] After all, who'd want to hurt little Goldilocks?

[snores]

-There she is, Snoop! -Egoodgads!

She photographs better in the book!

Eek!

Oh, mercy me, I must be having a terrible nightmare!

Goldilocks, I arrest you as a porridge pilferer!

A good private eye never lets a pretty face influence him.

Oh, please don't do me in, 1 was hungry, I was starving!

[fake crying]

Gosh, Snoop, she's flipped her wig!

Goldilocks, my eye!

It's a wolf in she's clothing!

Drat these Snoopy Snoopers!

Stop, in the name of the private eye downtown office!

Sorry, nobody home.

[thud]

Gosh, Snoop, you sure hit that door hard.

Are you all right?

[muffled noise]

I'll get it, Snoop.

Lucky it was locked, Snoop. You would have swallowed it.

I'm gonna lock that wolf up good!

I'll send him on a little trip.

[thud]

Did you get him, Snoop?

Uh-oh, that's not Snoop! It's the wolf!

That wig don't fool me.

Take that and that and this and that.

Snoop is sure gonna be proud of the way I caught you, huh?

He sure is, Sonny.

Huh?

Oh boy, gosh, Snoop!

Does that mean ! won't pass my private eye exam?

[Snooper] Come back here, you little squeak pip,

and let me give you your diploma!

I'm sorry, Snoop, I'm sorry Snoop!

1 don't know why, but I always end up saying,

"I'm sorry, Snoop!"

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f ~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[howls]

[announcer] Kellogg's! Your best choice in cereals!

...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw McGraw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you alright?

S'awright!