Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's! The best to you each morning!

From Kellogg's!

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Riding around your way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by...

[reading]

[theme music]

Snoop to Hazel, hoop to snazel,

come in hoozle, l mean Hazel.

Hazel to Snoop!

How's the gas holding out, Chief?

It ain't. We ran out of gas hours ago,

but we're traveling on Blab power.

And pretty soon, you're gonna run out of Blab power!

Any calls, Hazel?

Just one,

the major is back from Africa,

and he wants you to make a delivery to the zoo!

Eurekia, a job, and a full gas tank!

And some birdseed for my parakeet!

How is the little feathered beast?

The poor thing hasn't eaten for so long

he's shrunk to hummingbird size!

Well, you'll get paid after this caper, Hazel.

Meanwhile, give your parakeet humming lessons.

Hit the siren, Blab!

We're going to call in the major!

Right, Snoop!

[makes engine revving noise]

I must say, you made delicious tea, Major.

Thank you!

I might even go so far

as to say it's abominable!

Awfully decent of you, Snagglepuss!

[knocking on door]

-Do come in. -[door unlocks]

Major, you old scallywag,

how's things in Pickalilly Square?

Heavens to Murgatroyd, the things they leave out

of cages these days.

By jove, you're just in time for tea, Snooper!

None for me, thanks.

I'm driving!

Quiet, Blab.

Never mind the tea and trumpets, Major.

Uh, what can I do for, say, five thousand dollars?

You can deliver old Snagglepuss to the zoo.

The old boy trapped me in the Petawambi

when I wasn't looking.

By gadfry!

I snagged you in the Zambezi,

and you were looking!

-Petawambi. -Zambezi!

-Petawambi. -Zambezi!

Petawambi! And I can show you on the map!

All right, Snagglepuss, show me!

All right, I will.

Suffering catfish, he's right!

It was Zambezi, and that's where I'm headed for.

Exit, stage right!

Africa, here ! come!

Stop! In the name of the five thousand dollar fee!

There he goes, Snoop, he's headed for the City Park!

[screeching]

It ain't Africa, but a tree is a tree.

There's only one way to snag old Snagglepuss.

And, pray, uh, mayhap what may that be?

We'll form a safari, jungle style!

You go on ahead, Blabber, and flush him out!

When you drive him past here, we'll blast the blighter!

Right, sire!

Shimba shimba, kumba kumba,

shimba shimba, kumba kumba!

Now ain't that a kick in the head?

Shimba shimba, kumba kumba,

shimba shimba, kumba kumba!

He's a regular gunga din.

Shimba shimba, kumba kumba, shimba shimba!

[trumpeting]

[screeching]

You called?

Heavens to Murgatroyd,

what a numskull.

What's the matter with you?

Don't you know your jungle calls?

Who are you?

Who am I1?

Only the king of beasts!

That's who am I.

Yikes!

[clattering]

Well, you needn't get so perturbed,

just because you didn't know, for heaven sakes!

There he is, Major!

I'll let the blighter have it right between the eyes!

Spoil sport!

By Gadfrey!

l potted the blighter right between the eyes!

Between the eyes?

He must think I'm a midget!

Stop, in the limb of the law!

And what do you think you're doing?

Playing cowboys and Indians?

No, Your Honor, we're flushing out a loose lion!

A loose lion, is it?

Well, beat it, before ! loose my temper,

run you in for lyin’.

The stories you hear nowadays!

[officer gulps]

You are kind of like a loose lion, aren't you?

Well, I'm not a loose mongoose.

And I'm not a loose lion tamer.

And I'm not a policeman,

but I'll play cops and robbers.

All right, all right, great white hunters,

l thought I told you to scram!

But Officer, we were scramming.

[clunking]

A fishy fabrication.

I think I'll run you in,

on a writ of habeus delicatessen.

And what have you got to say for yourself?

Speak up, I haven't got all day, you know?

By Gadfrey, this is what l have to say!

[gunshot]

Well, he said it, and I got it!

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

You can get killed playing that game!

Stop, you scoundrel, or I'll put a bullet

between your eyes!

-[gunshot] -Ouch!

-[gunshot] -Ouch!

His aim hasn't improved a bit!

Quick, you'll be safe in here!

Much obliged!

Nice work, Blabber!

And since you delivered the blighter to the zoo,

you'll get the five thousand dollars!

Much obliged, by jove!

Say, Blab, how much further to the gas station?

About ten miles, Snoop.

Ten miles?

Well, how's about helping me out a little?

Sure, Snoop!

[imitates siren wailing]

[theme music]

"Boy genius astounds scientific world,

"Rodney Q. Brilliant, age 9, has IQ of 460.

"He split his first atom when only two.

"He split it on the bias and that ain't easy.

"The world can use more boys like Rodney Q. Brilliant.

"Are you harboring a little genius

in your home without knowing it?"

l wonder.

Yip, yip, yip, yip, yippee!

Yip, yip, yip, yip, yippee!

Oh, Augie.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,

bang, bang, bang, bang.

Augie, Augie boy.

Make way for El Cabon, ole!

Augie, don't you hear me?

[trumpet playing]

Charge!

Augie!

Oh, they got me.

[groaning]

Ooh, ow.

Augie.

Just a minute, Dad.

Okay, dear number one father, what do you wish?

Well, ! hate to interrupt your childish play,

but how's your IQ today?

Not only is my land Q okay,

but I know the rest of the alphabet.

l bet his IQ is only about 300.

And I'd be less than a father if I didn't make

a Rodney Q. Brilliant out of my son.

First, you ups your IQ

by learning all about mother nature.

Any questions, Augie?

Well, uh, what makes the grass green, Dad?

Hm, uh, well, it's uh, well, uh... [laughs]

I'm afraid that's one 1 don't know, Augie.

Ask me another.

lf a tree falls in the forest

and nobody's around to listen,

does it make a noise?

Well, uh, let me see.

That's another one you don't know, isn't it, Dad?

] won't argue with you, son.

-Try me again. -Okay.

Would you say Mother Nature made me the world's strongest boy?

Now, that one l can answer.

No, Augie.

I can safely say you are not

the strongest boy in the world.

Then how come I can pick this Daisy with only two fingers

when the whole world has a hold of the other end?

Huh, Dad, how come?

How come, how come, how come?

This is getting intellectually embarrassing.

l won't ask any more questions

if it bothers you, flustered father.

On the contrary, wise Augie,

how do you expect to learn if you don't ask questions?

This museum is just reeking with culture.

Soak it up, Augie boy,

and don't hesitate to ask me

about anything you don't understand.

! will, dear old Dad. What's that thing over there?

[Doggie Daddy] That's a prehysterical monster, Augie boy.

[Augie] It looks more like turkey leftovers.

To be more exact, it's a Tyronderoroarious Rex.

How many bones has it got, Dad?

Oh, just oodles, Augie, oodles.

How many is oodles, father of mine?

Oodles is the number of bones he's got.

What's the number of bones he's got?

I'd be less than an intellectual father

if 1 didn't use my mathematical prowess to answer that one.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight...

Two thousand five, two thousand six, two thousand seven,

two thousand eight, two thousand nine, two thousand ten.

Hey, Augie!

There are 2,010 bones.

Give or take a few hundred.

Gosh, that's just oodles of bones, isn't it, Dad?

Hey, what do ya think you're doing up there?

Huh? Yikes, I slipped.

Augie, help!

[crash]

Dad, where are ya?

I think I'm in between the sacroiliac

and the fourth vertebral region.

Stop or I'll call the cops.

If there's one thing l can't stand,

it's a guard who won't let you count bones.

Come on, Augie.

[cries]

Now I suppose I'll have to sweep up this mess.

Boom, I'm a super jet.

Boom.

Augie, stop acting your age and come here.

What's next on the IQ agenda, father who knows best?

You're going to split an atom, Augie, on the bias.

Dad, is that an atom?

Nope, that's a walnut.

But it'll make good practice.

Now remember, you gotta split it scientifically.

I'll do the best I can, dear old Dad.

Oh, Augie, anybody can do that.

You gotta be more high IQ about it.

Okay, Dad, I'll try.

The hypotenuse of the triangle should make it work fine.

[laughs] A genius at work with all kinds of dissa and data.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen steps.

North by northeast.

According to my calculations, this is the exact spot.

My boy's acting more high 1Q every minute.

! wonder what he's figured out.

This boulder equals 10,000 baseballs

and if a real tall pitcher

were to throw that boulder just right, hmm...

With the wind velocity up to calculations,

1 guess I'm ready to drop this boulder

right smack on a walnut.

[explosion]

Dad, I miscalculated the wind velocity. Are you hurt?

Just a little around the edges, Augie.

It's no use, disappointed Dad.

I'm just an average boy

who's got the best dad in the whole world.

[chuckles] That's my average boy who loves his dad

and I'm glad he don't need a high IQ for that.

[theme music]

[narrator reading]

And though the largest organized gang in the East

was forever broken up,

the brains behind the mob eluded the police

and is even now heading West.

-Oh, Mr. South! -Yes?

Now that the bad-guy ring is broken up,

what are your plans for the future?

I'll organize the biggest bad-guy ring

the West has ever known!

True to his word, Norton South lost no time.

To his secret hideout came some of the worst bandits

in the West to join his gang.

Grumbleweed, you rob the train.

-Right, boss. -Cactus Charlie,

you rob the stagecoach.

Right, boss.

[Mr. South] Backwater Bill,

-you rob the bank. -Right, boss.

And Cheyenne Shorty,

you swipe the ranch payroll.

As you wish, sir.

Soon after, the bandits returned with their loot.

Boys, I've got a deadly idea.

What say we do the whole thing over again?

[all] Right, boss.

Oh, goody, sir!

Soon the headlines were shouting the bad news.

Extry, extry! Crime wave hits the West!

Sheriff up a tree! Weatherman predicts rain!

Sheriff gets umbrella, goes back up tree!

And the citizens were in a quandary.

My question is, uh, how do we get out of this quandary?

And my question is, what's a "quandary"?

Who will get rid of Norton South,

the Eastern gang leader, from our fair Wild West?

By thunder, this looks like a job for...

-[both] Who? -The Righter of Wrongs!

1 know! The Champion of Justice!

Our hero of heroes, none other than...

[both] El Kabong!

Ole!

And El Kabong, the righter of wrongs,

the Champion of Justice, the hero of heroes,

came to clean up the fair Wild West.

-Stick 'em up, train. -[Quick Draw] Kabong!

[clank]

Ole!

Stick 'em up, stagecoach!

-Kabong! -[clank]

Ole!

-Stick 'em up, banker. -Kabong!

[clank]

Ole!

Stick 'em up, please.

-Smoke if you wish. -Kabong!

-[clank] -Ole!

The Kabongs are as thick as flies around here.

-Kabong! -[clank]

Hey, watch it, will you, Queeks Straw?

Garsh, I'm sorry, Baba Looey.

l was overcome by a kabongging frenzy.

Just drop it in the bag, boys.

1 was kabongged by El Kabong.

! had the gold in my hand... went kabong!

El Kabong kabongged me with his kabonger.

1 don't feel so good, sir.

-Who is this El Kabong? -[Baba Looey] Pardon me, sir.

That is a good question, I thin’.

And who are you to come thinnin' around here?

Me? Oh, I have a message from El Kabong.

A message from El Kabong? For me?

Si, senor.

"Dear Eastern-type gangster.

"If you're not out of town by sundown,

"I'm comin’ after you.

"And don't you for-get-it.

"Signed, El Kabong.

"P.S. Only my faithful companion Baba Looey,

the bearer of this message, knows who I really are."

Yikes! El Kabong has just

put my foot in hot water, I thin’.

So you know who EI Kabong is, eh?

All right, talk!

[speaks rapidly]

Cut that out! And tell me who El Kabong is!

Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it.

You'd better tell me by the time 1 count to two.

! would count to three, only I never finished high school.

-One... Two... -Hold it! I'll tell.

He's standing outside that window!

He is?

Okay. Don't move.

I'll take a peek at him. Huh?

[sings gibberish]

You mean that's El Kabong?

Si, senor. The hero of heroes.

[laughs] Really?

The one standing outside?

[Baba Looey] Uh-huh. That's El Kabong.

[laughs mockingly]

It is funny when you stop to thin’ of it. [laughs]

You're not kidding me now, are you?

Scouts honor, senor.

[both laugh]

What's so hilarious, Baba Boy?

Oh, it couldn't be.

Come on, wise guy. Who is El Kabong?

l told you you wouldn't believe me.

Don't worry, Baba Looey! El Kabong will save you!

Hurry, Queeks Straw! He can only count to two.

Ole!

Hold on, Baba Boy!

I'm coming through the window!

[thud]

Ooh. That smarts.

All right, Kabong. Let's have a showdown.

There's not enough room in the West for both of us,

-Norton South. -[toing]

Ole!

By the way, Kabong, 1 got your letter.

l must say your grammar is atrocious.

-It are? -Sure.

See? On the second line, you split an infinitive.

Say, you're pretty smart.

I'm smarter than El Kabong.

Oh, yes? What makes you think so?

This. [chuckles]

So long, El Kabong!

-[Baba Looe -Huh? mores

Hold on, Queeks Straw. ! come in through the window.

-Kabong, ! thin’! -[clank]

That does it. My best hat is ruined.

Good-bye, Wild West!

Baba Looey, by what right do you dare

to wear an El Kabong outfit?

just thin’ maybe you wished to open a small

branch office, Queeks Straw.

[chuckles]

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[howls]

[announcer] Kellogg's! Your best choice in cereals!

...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw McGraw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you alright?

S'awright!