Original subtitles

f Yipee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[narrator] Kelloggs, the best to you each morning

from Kelloggs!

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the West f

f Yipee yi-o ki-a Ridin' around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

~ That's Quick Draw McGraw JS

[narrator] Brought to you by Kelloggs

[reading]

[whimsical music]

[narrator] /n days of old, when a challenge

was met with flashing swords...

You have a rusty sword.

You dare insult my sword!

En garde!

[swords clanking]

What do you know? It is rusty.

[narrator] And the worth of aman was measured

by his allegiance to the king.

A momentous event was taking place

in a small village.

A proud father was sending his only son

to seek his fortune with the king's musketeers.

Augie, my son, my son

this is a momentous event.

So, listen carefully.

Your dutiful son is listening

dear old, former musketeer dad.

Augie, my boy, I entrust

this long cherished sword to your care.

Gee! Thanks, father of all dads.

[Doggie Daddy] And treat it well and don't let it get rusty.

On account I still got

three more payments to make on it.

[chuckles]

I'll Keep it flashy like new,

dear old-time payment dad.

Then go, Augie, my boy,

and don't forget to send me

[speaking French]

That's French for "Don't forget to write."

lf ! run into the three musketeers, dad

I'll mention your name.

Count me, Augie.

There used to be four musketeers.

[Augie] So long, fourth musketeer.

Fare well, my son, my son.

[Daddy Doggie laughs] ! didn't wanna disappoint, Augie.

But the truth is

1 wouldn't know the three musketeers

from the three blind mice.

[narrator] And so, like a young bird

trying his wings,

Augie sets forth

on his big adventure.

Meanwhile, not too far away,

the three musketeers were engaged

in an important mission.

Uh, what will we do for laps today, fellows?

Gee, let's try our musketeer yell.

Good idea. Hip-hop!

-All for one... -And one for all!

And all that jazz!

< Oh, I'm brave and bold and I know no fear £

~ ‘Cause I'm soon to be a musketeer f

[fly buzzes]

Ye-e-ow!

[Augie] Woah! Woah!

Woah!

Gosh, that's the three musketeers!

Am I lucky!

What happened, Pathos?

Search me, Porthole.

Do you know, Aromatique?

Uh, me thinks that mere sniff of a youth

can tell us.

Gee, fellows, oh, I'm sorry

but you'll forgive me when you find out

I'm the son of Doggie Daddy,

who used to be the fourth musketeer.

The fourth musketeer?

Me thinks your daddy is a teller of fibs, sonny.

Nobody can call my daddy a fibber.

En garde! Ho! Ha! Hoo-hoo-hee!

Yah-ha! Hoo-hoo-hee-hee!

Enough of this child's play.

Ho-ho-ha-ha-hee!

To you, sonny.

-[Aromatique] Giddyapp! -[whip lashes]

[horse galloping]

And give our regards

to the fourth musketeer!

[laughter]

! wonder how Augie is doin' at musketeer school.

Augie, did you get your musketeers’ diploma already?

Let's drop the subject, dad.

Why, Augie, my son, what's wrong?

[Augie] Here's your sword back, Fibber Father of the Year.

"Fibber Father?"

Oh! You mean about me being the fourth musketeer?

Well, are ya?

Why, Augie, my boy, l was even better

than the other three put together.

Oh, I'm so glad.

They said you were a phoney-baloney.

Who? The three musketeers?

[Augie] Yeah, let's go tell 'em the truth.

And I thought they retired

those three jokers, years ago.

Are we gonna tell 'em, dad?

Or do you want me to grow up with a complex?

Let's go, Augie.

Afterall, no father wants his son

to grow up with a complexion.

Whatever that is. Ha-ha!

[laughter]

They're inside, dad.

Go make it a foursome.

[gulps] Well, here goes nothin’.

Ha-ha, Pathos!

Porthole! Aromatique!

My old buddies!

Hiya, fellas!

Adios.

[Doggie Daddy crashing]

[Augie] Gee, dad, are ya hurt?

No, Augie, those roughneck buddies of mine

sure were glad to see me.

[chuckles]

Can ! go back in with you, dad?

[Doggie Daddy] No, no, Augie. You wait here.

[Augie] Show 'em a few of those fancy sword tricks, dad.

[Doggie Daddy] Throw your swords, old friends

and I'll show you a few fancy sword tricks.

[swords clanking]

! hope dear old dad doesn't hurt his buddies.

[Pathos] Now, explain yourself, clown!

Please, fellas, my boy here

thinks his dear, old dad is the fourth musketeer.

[speaking in French]

It's the fibber!

Augie will have a complexion

if he finds out the truth.

Fear not, dear, old dad.

We will keep your secret.

Now, this is what we will do.

[swords clanking]

[Doggie Daddy grunting]

-[Doggie Daddy] Oh, Augie! -Coming, father!

[Augie] Wowie, dad!

Who's still the best swordsman of them all?

That you are, Doggie Daddy.

Fourth musketeer buddy of ours.

Show 'em how you saved the king, dad.

[Doggie Daddy] Oh, I'd better not.

Please do, Daddy. This we got to see.

Well, the king was trapped in a tower.

1 fought my way to the top

even though !I was outnumbered a 100 to one.

Then I swung up to the chandelier

which was a mere 60 feet away

like a...

Yikes! 1 missed!

[glass shattering]

Help, Augie, help.

How do you stop this thing?

Just yell "Woah!" runaway father.

[Doggie Daddy] Woah!

[Doggie Daddy crashing]

How about, uh, joining us again, fourth musketeer?

Yes, and show us some of those tricks.

Sorry, fellas, but I gotta go.

I have an important engagement with the king's doctor.

-Let's go, Augie. -Right, pooped pop.

So long, fellas.

So long, old buddies.

All for one, and one for all.

And all that jazz.

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

[narrator] Traveling to California

in the early days of the West

was a long and dangerous journey.

Nevertheless, with banjos on their knees

the brave settlers struggled onward

their safe passage entrusted

to one man

the Wagon Master.

Hold, brave banjo players.

We'll camp here.

Gee, Wagon Master

my knee can't take any more

of this banjo.

Can I play a violin instead?

What? And get bow-legged?

[laughs] Bow-legged? Get it?

That's kinda like a joke.

[thud]

[narrator] The greatest danger the settlers faced

was the dreaded Indian attack.

[Indians ululating]

It's a dreaded Indian attack!

Indians! What do we do, Wagon Master?

1 don't care. I'm quittin’.

You're not turnin’ chicken, are you?

Yeah, I just got my tail feathers.

[narrator] And so, without a Wagon Master to lead them

the settlers didn't dare move.

Until one day...

Two figures approached the stranded Wagon train.

Say, Queeks Straw, how much further is it to California?

About 2,000 miles.

Dead-feet reckonin', Baba Boy.

What do you mean, "Dead-feet reckonin'?"

l mean

! reckon I'll be dead on my feet

by the time we get there.

[laughs]

Look, Queeks Straw, maybe we don't have to walk.

That sign says, "Wagon Master Wanted."

But what do we want with a Wagon Master?

[Baba] Not us, Quick Draw

that wagon train needs somebody

to take them to California.

[Quick Draw] Oh, that's different.

I'd be glad to oblige.

-[wagon wheels grinding] -[uplifting music]

[narrator] And so, the famous lawman, Quick Draw McGraw

now turned Wagon Master leads his wagons westward.

Folly me, folks!

But Queeks Straw, how do you know we're heading West?

Well, that's simple, Baba Boy.

When we hit the Atlantic Ocean

it's in the opposite direction.

Hm, that figures.

I thin’.

[narrator] One of the meanest scavengers

constantly preying on the wagon trains

was the sly desert coyote.

Oh, joy! Oh, good news!

A wagon train passing under my sly nose.

Together with a moo cow!

! will get the moo cow, 1 should have milk.

Then I will have rosy cheeks and strong bones

and be healthy.

[cow moos]

Hey, Queeks Straw, look!

Somebody is wrestling our cow!

[cow moos]

[Quick Draw] Hold on, there!

Drop that beef, you thief!

[crashes]

Ow! Don't yell like that. You scared me.

[gunfire]

Yikes! Oh, you scared me worse-er!

Goin' somewhere, you cow snatcher?

Oh, you got a bang-bang.

Don't hurt me with a bang-bang, mister.

Stop! Or I'll fill your hide full of holes!

[gunfire]

Ow, you got me!

Already I got pains and lumps.

And everything!

Oh, I did not touch you!

1 shot in the air!

You sir, shall hear from my solicitors.

I'm telling you to your face.

And to your teeth.

[echoing] And to your tonsils.

[echoing] Hello, down there! Hello, down there!

Hello, down there! Hello, down there!

Say, that's quite an echo you got inside yourself.

Hold on there!

Looking for someone, Bob?

I'm looking for a crazy coyote.

Eh? Speak up, Bob?

I'm looking for a crazy coyote!

1 cannot hear you.

Wait till 1 clean out my horn.

-[metal clanks] -[gunshot]

Now, what did you say?

Ooh! That smarts.

Oh, I'm running away like anything.

! shouldn't get hurted.

I'll hurt you plenty when I get this horn off!

[crashing]

[laughing]

Oh, that's very funny.

l think so, too.

If you dare laugh at me, Baba Boy

we're through.

Honest, Queeks Straw, ! won't laugh.

That's good, because I think 1 broke my clavicle.

Ooh, that tingles.

Ho-ho-ho-ha-ha-ha.

His clavicle tingles!

Boy, that switch. Ho-ho-ha-ha-ha!

Not one chuckle, Baba.

Or I'll never speak to you again!

There's no use, Queeks Straw.

[chuckling] ! don't think...

[laughs] I can stand it.

[laughs]

Your clavicle looks so funny busted.

[chuckles]

Busted clavicle!

[Baba laughs]

He bust my funny bone!

[laughs]

That does it!

Goodbye, forever, little purry pal.

Queeks Straw, wait!

1 didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

I will fix it like they should be buddies again.

Woah! Whoo, that smarts.

l think 1 broke my clavicle.

[laughs]

Broke your clavicle, eh?

[laughs]

l like that, Queeks Straw.

He always sees the joke

if it's on the other foot.

[laughs]

Oh, that Queeks Straw!

[theme music]

Snoop to Hazel. Snoop to Hazel. Come in, Hazel.

Are you receiving okay?

[Hazel] /f you mean my salary

you're two months in arrears, Scoop.

I'll make a note of it.

And, Hazel, have you bereft

your vocabulary?

The name is Snoop, not Scoop.

[Hazel] / know, chief. But it'll be Scoop if you take the job.

[Snoop] Stop speakin' in griddles, Hazel. What job?

[Hazel] The editor of the Daily Beagle called.

He wants to see you immediately.

Great! Uh...

By the way, uh, Haze...

How's your parakeet doin'?

[Hazel] Oh, he was in an accident.

Gosh, Hazel! What transpired?

Yeah, give us the glory details.

[Hazel] Well, this morning he was lying at the bottom of his cage

flat on his back.

And before he passed out

he looked up at me and said

"Who moved the ladder?"

Send the little fella a basket of assorted seeds

and, uh, don't spare the expense.

Sometimes a private eye has to drop the tough mask

and think of those less fortunate.

[Snooper] Leave us descend on the impatient editor, Blab,

and find out what's news.

Yes, Sir JR, I got just the man for the job

I'm expecting him any minute now.

-[knock on door] -Come in!

Hold the front page and stop the pressin.'

-Here I am. -He's here, chief.

I'll call you back later.

So long.

Snoop, I need you.

Because my publisher believes

in something that I think is a myth.

And, uh, you want me to find out who's right?

-Right? -Right! You see...

He believes that the abominable snowman

actually exists.

And he wants pictures to prove it.

If you can get the pictures

it'll be worth $5,000.

Start countin’ the money, and tell me

where this abdominable snowman lives!

l tell you, he doesn't exist.

But my publisher says

he lives in the Himalayan mountains.

He's not in the Yellow Pages, Snoop.

[Snooper] Let's go, you whoopy Blab.

He probably has an unlisted number.

[Blabber] Gosh, Snoop, do you think this copter

can make it to the Hima... Hima...

Uh, to those mountains?

[Snooper] It better, or we won't have no cartoon.

Here we are, Blab, in the natural habituate

of the abdominable snowman.

1 don't see him anywhere, Snoop.

Gracious... Blab.

You're standin’ in his footprint.

Gee! He's a big one!

Come on, Blab, we'll folly

his footprints and viola!

He's on page one.

! hope he's photogenic.

Get your camera ready.

He must be lurchin' around here somewhere.

Gloogle.

What you sayin’, Blab?

Wow, Snoop! What a picture this'll make!

! know I'm photogenic, Blab

but we must save the film

for the abdominable snowman.

Oh, Blab.

All of a sudden, I have a sinking sensation.

That's great, Snoop. Hold it.

I'm either gettin’ shorter, or you're gettin’ taller, Blab.

Neither, Snoop, you're being pushed into the snow

by the abonimable snowman.

Now he tells me!

[crashing]

l can't see you, Snoop.

Wait till I fix the focus.

l can see you real good now, Snoop.

But will you please step aside?

You're in the way.

My dear ol' mother warned me

about thinkin’ up with lackluster brains.

There he is, Blab.

Gee! He looks friendly to me, Snoop.

Maybe camera-shy.

Gloogle gloogle.

Well, uh, you'll swing over

take a picture of your shy friend

and, uh, swing right back.

-Get it? -Got you, Snoop.

Gloogle gloogle.

[Blabber] This light ain't too good.

! better use a flash bulb.

[camera flashes]

Gloogle!

How'd you make out?

[Blabber] Great, Snoop.

1 got a swell picture of his tonsils.

Jumpin’ Josephine!

What good is a picture of his tonsils?

Well, it might help some deserving medical student

pass his exams.

Nevermind.

1 got another idea.

I'll snag him with this lasso

and rendition him powerless

whilst youse snap his picture.

Maybe I'd just sorta ask him.

Quiet, Blab, get your camera ready.

-There he is! -Gloogle gloogle.

Get ready, Blab. I think I got him.

Gloogle gloogle.

[helicopter crashing]

Gee, he ruined my picture.

Not to mention, me helicopter.

Gloogle gloogle gloogle gloogle.

Stop, in the long arm of the law!

! mean, 5,000 bucks fee.

Gloogle gloogle.

] just wanna take your picture, Mr. Gloogle.

Huh?

It'll be in all the newspapers.

Gloogle gloogle.

He wants you to take the picture inside, Blab.

I'm scared to go in there, Snoop.

You wanna earn your private eye diploma, don't ya?

Gosh, Snoop. More than anything.

Well, here's you more-than-anything chance.

-Now, get goin’. -Right, Snoop.

Wow! What a shot this'll make.

Watch the birdy, please.

That's it. Now, everybody smile.

[grunting]

[camera shutter clicks]

1 got the picture, Snoop.

We can leave now.

Great work, Blab.

But I just remembered

that our helicopter is busted.

I'll ask my friend, Mr. Gloogle to help us.

So long, Abdominal.

Uh, I'll see you in the funny papers.

And if you're ever in town, look us up.

Gloogle gloogle.

Aloha, Abdominal!

And adios, too.

Your publisher was right, Mr. Editor.

That picture is incredible proof

that the abdominable snowman

actually exists.

If this picture isn't a fake

I'll eat your hat.

I still say there is no abdominable snowman!

Gloogle gloogle.

[Blabber] Mr. Gloogle!

Gosh, it's good to see you.

How's Mrs. Gloogle and all the little Gloogles?

Gloogle gloogle!

Ah, when you finish

I'll take me $5,000 fee.

! hope Mr. Editor

has a six inch seven-eighth stomach. [chuckles]

f Yipee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

Ya-hoo!

[narrator] Kelloggs

your best choice in cereals

[reading]

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the West f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw] Hey, Baba Looey! Are you alright?

S'awright.