Original subtitles

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's, the best to you each morning,

from Kellogg's.

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

£ Riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by Kellogg's...

[opening theme music]

[narrator] Beautiful Hawaii, tropical paradise.

Land of sunshine and swaying palms.

And today, the meeting place

of the world's greatest private eyes.

This is an exciting first for Hawaii.

Private Eye Convention.

Look, there's Perry Pliers and Sledge Hammer.

How'd you finally crack the jewel case?

1 didn't.

My wife used a hairpin.

What luck!

Two famous undercover agents,

saying hello.

-Hiya, X9. -Hiya, X12.

[narrator] Hello there, it's Peter Pistol!

Private eye!

Not anymore, 1 got a raise.

I'm Ralph Rifle now.

[narrator] How exciting.

There goes Sky High

Out of Space Private Eye.

And in that tank, the equally exciting H20,

underwater cop!

[man] Excuse, please.

[narrator] Yes?

My card, please.

[narrator] Why, it's the celebrated

Chinese detective,

Forchoon Kooki,

celebrated Chinese detective.

Correct.

Looking for incomparable detective,

Super Snooper.

Have seen him?

No, where could he be?

Have honorable hunch.

See you later.

Nothing like it, Blab.

-Like what, Snoop? -Fishing.

Where the umaumanupanupa go swimming by.

Gosh, it's great Snoop!

Whatever you said.

-[Snoop] How's about some lunch? -Sure, Snoop.

Here's a fish and poi burger.

brrp brrp brrrp

Okay, Blab, where's the sandwich?

[Blab] A flyin’ fish took it.

Blab, I'm hungry.

Honest, Snoop.

Watch!

brrrrp brrp

See, Snoop?

! heard they were doing great things in flying,

but this is ridiculous.

Hey look, it's Forchoon Kooki,

the celebrated Chinese detective.

Greetings, honorable private eye.

What's on your honorable mind, Kook?

Must ask honorable favor.

Name it, and, uh, consider it done.

Please to deliver

Ping Pong Pearl to San Francisco.

Gosh, it looks more like a tennis ball!

Um, how come Kooki, you're not taking it yourself.

Sprain ankle, slip on wet Chinese noodle.

They're the worst kind.

[Snoop] I'll be most ethical to deliver it.

Then bye bye, and most honorable aloha.

And a ahoy aloha to you too, Kooki.

-Blab? -Yes, Snoop?

Put the Ping Pong Pearl in the basket for safekeepin’.

Right, Snoop.

Uh, by the way.

Yes, Snoop?

How about my snack?

Right, Snoop,

how about a nice hard boiled egg?

You booby, Blab!

I'm sorry, Snoop!

We can pick up another egg in San Francisco.

Egg shmegg, that was the Ping Pong Pear!!

I'll be drummed out of the Private Eye Corps

if 1 don't get that pearl back.

That pineapple bait should do it, Snoop.

-Anything yet, Blab? -Not yet, Snoop.

When he's good and hooked, yank him in!

He's good and hooked, Snoop!

Well, start yankin'!

Gosh, I caught a fish that looks just like you, Snoop!

Take another look, you blundering Blab!

Jumpin’ catfish!

I'm sorry, Snoop!

Well, if the mountain won't come to Mahoney,

Mahoney will have to go to the mountain.

A good private eye has a clever sayin' for any occasion.

I'll pounce on him, like a venison of the deep!

brrp brrp

Come in.

Hey, you're letting the water in!

[Snoop] Stop, in the name of the private eye

fish fry society!

Yikes!

What am ! doin’ up here?

[splash]

l get it, Snoop!

The flyin’ fish will think I'm a shark.

Right, and jump in the boat from sheer fright.

Here goes.

Good work, Blab.

Uh, just keep circling around shark like,

and that fish'll...

-[blubbin -Huh? a!

[Snoop] Okay, Blab, forget it.

The little squirt's on to us.

Upsy daisy!

[roars]

Yikes!

[blubbing]

Help! Somebody help!

Sorry you had to miss lunch, pal,

but c'est la carry.

It's, uh, perfectly okay, Kooki,

a friend of mine is, uh, delivering

the Ping Pong Pearl personally.

Goodbye.

! forgot to mention, pal,

that you were takin’ it by air mail.

So long, and ahoy aloha.

Yikes!

[Snoop] Help, help!

Shark, shark!

Help, shark, help!

Gosh, Snoop really needs a vacation.

! don't see any sharks.

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

Yes, sir.

Your TV station

will be proud of my boy Augie.

He worked up a great act.

As a matter of fact, sure, he's rehearsin' it now.

Let's run through that again, Humboldt.

Try it a little more andante this time.

[humming]

[Augie] Oh, that's fine, Humboldt, take five.

Ever since I was a kid

! wanted to absorb a little musical knowledge

and... [laughs]

that hummingbird should fill the bill.

! think I'll absorb a little musical lunch.

Okay, Humboldt, uh, let's try it again

with a little more pianissimo.

And a one, and a two.

[humming]

Augie my boy, you're all set.

You and Humboldt go on TV tonight.

Gee, dear old agent Dad, that's swell.

You'll be proud of me and Humboldt.

[Dad] Why don't you tell Humboldt the good news, Augie?

[Augie] Dad, Humboldt's gone.

He's disappeared.

Uh-oh, !I better hide.

Wait a minute, do my eyes perceive me,

or has somethin’ new been added to the furnishings?

Hmm, it looks like a homely cat lamp to me.

It lights up and it's got real lookin’ cat's whiskers.

Youch!

Look, Dad, it's Humboldt.

Uh, no friend, the name is Chops,

glad to know ya.

How ya fixed for lamps?

If there's one thing l can't stand

it's a lamp that yells youch.

Sir, you are a Cat hater.

And stay out!

[humming]

Hello there, music lovers!

Allow me to introduce myself.

! am the musical director from the TV station

and I'm here to check out

little Augie's act.

Gosh, Dad,

a real professional-type musical director.

Well, let's get started and all the jazz.

! hate to work on an empty stomach

so let's make this a little lunchissimo.

Proceed, please.

[humming]

! hear a hum for help.

All right, director, direct us to Humboldt.

Humboldt, Humboldt?

What Humboldt?

[Humboldt's muffled calls]

Dad, Humboldt's in the pot.

Oh, that Humboldt.

[laughing]

He is rehearsing

the fire scene from Faust

and I'm putting him in the proper mood.

The network president shall hear of this!

Dad wants you to rest till airtime, Humboldt.

Who knows, Augie, after tonight

you may have your own TV show.

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas, everybody!

Noel, skole, and stuff like that there.

Hello, Santa Claus.

Did you bring me any presents?

My, my, how time flies.

Here it is Christmas already.

Start puttin’ up the tree, Augie,

and I'll bring Humboldt his present.

Ho, ho, ho.

It's a waffle iron.

And since when does Christmas come in July?

[Humboldt's muffled calls]

That hum for help

sounds like it's comin’ from a waffle iron.

Ho, ho, ho, and happy new year to you.

Ho, ho, ho,

and a happy fourth of July to you.

Ah, the Christmas club will hear of this.

How's Humboldt, Augie?

He's all right, add, a little bit waffled,

but he's okay.

Mm-hmm.

You better put poor Humboldt

in his cage, Augie,

then we'll know he's safe.

Right, dear old Dad.

[humming]

Uh-oh, Dad, it's that cat again.

I'll spoil his appetite for good this time.

Here, Augie, mind Humboldt.

Right, Dad.

Youch!

Oh, wrong bird.

Sorry, chum, but humming dogs

give me indigestion.

Uh, you stay here and I'll be right back.

That cat don't fool me none.

He ain't comin’ back.

Hello, Humboldt,

you're just in time for my dinner.

It's that hungry Chops. Run, Humboldt!

1 took a shortcut.

Down the hatch.

Oh, no!

Where's Humboldt, Augie?

Down the cat's hatch, Dad.

You didn't.

Oh, didn't I?

Listen.

[Humboldt humming]

[telephone ringing]

Who is it, Augie?

[Augie] It's the TV station, Dad.

They wanna know if my act is ready.

Augie, my son, my son, you can tell that TV station

the show will go on.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a really great show

lined up for you tonight,

and, "Now you know,"

featuring Augie Doggie

and Humboldt the humming hummingbird.

[Humboldt humming]

[both humming]

One thing I gotta admit

that cat had an ear for music.

[closing theme music]

[opening theme music]

[narrator] This is the tale of a quiet western village

that once was the scene of plunder and pillage,

till those responsible, the doers of wrong

were caught by the Phantom, EI Kabong.

Help! Help! The bank's being robbed!

- Are you sure? -Sure I'm sure!

If only El Kabong was here!

Who do you think is robbing the bank, Santa Claus? Look!

-Ole! -[man] Stop!

Come back with that money, El Kabong!

[El Kabong] Kabong!

[reading]

I can't believe it.

The weatherman said it was gonna rain.

1 got a trainload of rich passengers today.

[El Kabong] Kabong!

[reading]

What in the world would he want with fleas?

Men, as sheriff of this territory,

1 got to catch El Kabong.

May I make a suggestion, Sheriff?

[Sheriff] Fire away, Deputy.

Well, when El Kabong hears a damsel in distress...

I get it! He never fails to come a-running!

That's it. Good idea. Glad I thought of it.

Are you ready, boys?

[all] Ready!

-Ready! -Ready!

Okay, Deputy, start your caterwaulin’.

Yeah! Help! Help!

Will somebody help a damsel in distress?

£ Oh, I'm not a cactus, honey J

i / just forgot to shave J

Hold it, Quickstraw. ! think ! hear something.

[deputy imitating woman] Help! Help!

Sounds like a female critter yelling her head off, Baba.

l think you're right.

That means only one thing.

This is a job for El Kabong!

El Kabong to the rescue!

1 don't think this is a job for baby, Quickstraw.

Hmm? Whoops! Wrong costume.

-Be right back! -[deputy imitating woman] Help!

Stop your hollering, female critter in distress!

I'm a-coming to rescue you!

Help! Help!

Somebody help a poor female critter in distress!

I'm a-coming, poor female critter!

Hurray!

There he is, boys! Let him have it!

[gunshots]

Ooh. That's smart.

But why should they try to shoot El Kabong, Quickstraw?

Search me, Baba.

But I'd give a plugged nickel to find out.

[El Kabong] Ole! Kabong!

Hey, Quickstraw, look.

You've been kabonged by El Kabong.

That's not El Kabong.

That handsome critter is Horseface Harry,

the outlaw, who looks just like handsome me.

That's right.

Now hand over

that plugged nickel, Quick Draw.

Are you kidding?

I don't even have a real nickel.

[Horseface] Then kabong again!

Ole, Quickdraw! [chuckles]

No wonder the sheriff run me out of town.

He thinks El Kabong has turned bandit.

What do we do, Quickstraw?

There's only one thing to do, Baba Looey.

El Kabong is gonna kabong El Kabong.

But, Quickstraw, if Horseface Harry

sees me with his bag of gold,

he'll kabong me good.

That's right, Baba. But don't you worry.

I'll Kabong him right back.

1 don't thin \ like it, Quickstraw.

! do the thinnin' around here, Baba Looey.

And don't you forget it.

1 wish I could forget the whole thing.

Well, what do you know?

A bag of gold ready for plucking by,

you should excuse the expression, El Kabong!

Ole!

Hold on thar, you imposterer!

Ole!

[thud]

[crash]

On guard-ey, you phony boloney!

Kabong!

-Try that on your arpeggio. -[Horseface] Kabong!

Say, that's a mighty fine kabonger you got there.

1 picked it up in San Antone, Quick Draw.

-Not old Pop Brady's shop? -The same.

-How is old Pop? -Fit as a fiddle.

Hey, Quickstraw, don't you think

we better stop fiddlin' around?

1 guess he's right, Horseface.

He sure is. Kabong!

Now give me that gold.

Hold on there, Horseface! You cheated!

! think I'll take the short cut

and give Quickstraw some assistance.

Come back with that gold, Horseface!

Before I gets all riled up!

Ole, Quick Draw! [laughs]

Ole, Mr. Horsefaces!

Kabong to you!

[thud]

[crash]

l warned you not to rile me up.

[crash]

f I'll get up for school f

£/ didn't know it was so late f

Well, Baba Boy,

! guess I exonerationed the name of El Kabong, right?

That's right, Quickstraw.

For it says here

that El Kabong forgot

to collect the $25,000 reward.

It does?

Well, I'll soon rectify

that monetary oversight!

Hey, Sheriff! Ole!

Who are you?

I'm El Kabong,

and I've come for my reward.

Hand it over,

and I'll ole myself out of here.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you can join

the other phony El Kabongs outside!

Huh?

Gosh! It looks like a El Kabong convention!

Why don't you beat it? I'm El Kabong!

No, you're not! I'm El Kabong!

Sorry, fellas, but I'm El Kabong! Ole!

Hold on thar! I'm the real El Kabong!

[impostors] Oh, yeah? Kabong!

Ooch! Ouch! Ouch! Ooch! Ooch! Ouch! Ouch! Ooch! Ooch!

That's Quickstraw. He's got a soft heart...

and a head to match.

[closing theme music]

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals...

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f~ Yipee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw] Hey, Baba Looey! Are you all right?

So right.