Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

Kellogg's. The best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

~ The high-falutin'est fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

~ That's Quick Draw McGraw JS

Brought to you by...

[instrumental music]

[male narrator] /n the early days of the West, bad men

swooped down on towns lootin' and robbin'.

Then they would hightail it back to their hide out

in Bad Guys Territory.

Only the bravest of lawmen dared to follow.

And such a lawman was one Quick Draw McGraw

with his side kick Baba Looey.

Whoa, Baba Looey!

What says the sign, Quicks Draw?

Says here...

1 don't think we better go there.

Ain't we the good guys?

Tombstone Jones is in there with the bank money.

And we're gonna get it.

Si, Quicks Draw, we gonna get it.

Here, put this mustache on.

What's for these whiskers?

That's to disguise us, Baba.

We gotta look like bad guys.

And follow me.

[buzzing]

[bell ringing]

All right, good guys. Stick ‘em up.

[click]

Oh-oh, it's Tombstone Jones.

And you guys are good guys?

Oh, no, sir. We're not good guys.

We're Shootin’ and Rootin’, the Tootin' Brothers.

And don't you forget it.

Oh, yeah? How fast can you draw a gun?

That's how fast 1 can draw a gun.

-Why, you phony. -[gunshots]

We didn't get the bank money, Quick Draw.

I still say, we're gonna get it.

[gunshots]

You are so right, amigo.

What for you do me such a dirty trick, Quicks Draw?

Stop a-frettin', Baba Looey.

Bad guys don't never harm a poor helpless widow

and her hungry infant young'un.

[buzzing]

[bell ringing]

Please, kind sir. Don't shoot.

Oh, it's just a poor, defenseless widder woman

and her hungry homely young'un.

Homely? I mean, goo-goo.

Ha ha. Kichi-kichi-koo.

Oooh! That young'un real hungry.

Yes, sir. Boo-hoo.

And we have no place to stay.

Oh, now, don't fret none, ma'am.

Welcome to Bad Guys Territory.

Ya, pretty little doll. Ha ha ha.

1 told you we'd get in, see.

But you didn't told me how we gonna get out.

-Anybody home? -Come in.

l brung you a present, sweetie pie.

Oh-oh. There's the bank money.

Oh, how sweet of you.

Just what I always wanted. Money.

[kisses]

[gunfire]

Just what I always wanted. Ah, uh, flowers.

I'm plum shook up at your beauty, ma'am.

How sweet. What is it about me that shook you up?

You remind me of my horse.

Ya, cute little cactus.

Ha ha ha.

Goo-goo, bang-bang.

Why, bust my britches.

The little vermin took my shootin’ iron.

Goo-goo, sticks 'em up.

Oh, now, ain't that cute?

This young'un's a natural born bad guy. Ha ha ha!

Now, you wouldn't shoot

a poor unarmed polecat like me, would ya?

[boom]

You come back here with that bank money.

Why, you son of little--

[thwack]

Take that, you beast.

Now, kiss baby and say you're sorry.

Kiss the baby?

[thwack]

Take that again.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, brat.

-[chomp] -Yeow!

Haven't you fed this hungry infant yet?

Hey!

Goo-goo, money.

I'll goo-goo you, you little coyote.

All right, goo-goo, where's the money?

[bam]

Why, you...

[snoring]

Oh, now, ain't that cute?

The little fella's sleepin’ with the money.

I'll just douse the light and jippy-joe out.

-[bam] -Ow!

Ah, ha. I caught ya.

[bam]

Ooh! Put the saddle on the stove, mother.

We'll ride in the rains tonight.

Come back here with my bank money

you little sawed-off vermin.

Gotcha, let me have it.

[Quick Draw] Take that, that, that, that, that and that.

Ooh-wee! Ha ha!

Oh, you got real spunk, ma'am.

Lucky for me you can't draw a gun.

Who can't draw a gun?

Why, you. The phony Tootin’' Brother Shootin’.

How'd he figure that?

And this is Rootin’, the other Tootin' Brother.

-Sticks 'em up. -Oh, not now.

You wouldn't shoot a ringtail vermin like me, would you?

[gunshot]

l reckon, he would.

[humming]

H-honest, fellows. I'm reformed.

lam a good guy, honest. lam good.

1 am one of the good guys.

[bell ringing]

Heh. Oh, well, we can't all be good guys.

-[laughs] -[gunshot]

Keeps movin’, bad guy. Keeps movin’.

Okay, b-b-but watch it, will you. Watch it.

That thing's loaded.

What a kid.

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

My name's Snooper. I'm a private eye.

Cat eye that is.

And this defective detective

is my assistant, Blabber Mouse.

One night we were staked out by the bridge,

waiting for a suspect, any suspect.

Suddenly, my private eye fell on

a hot item in the paper. ! hollered...

-Hey, Blabber Mouse. -[Snoring]

Hey, Blab, hit the deck.

-Huh? Who? -Listen...

Imagine, leaving a million bucks to a cat.

-What's wrong with that? -[tires screech]

Hey, Blab, look it.

A suspicious type big black sedan.

-[tires screech] -[swoosh]

[Blab] They tossed a sack in the river.

And there's something in it, Blab.

Let's go, inspector.

Get ready, Blab, here it comes.

Got it, Snoop.

Open her up, Blab.

I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.

-It's Aloysius. -A millionaire cat.

Not anymore, fellas.

I'm a pinch penny poor pussycat.

Whom done it?

Whom else? The butler.

Give me the facts, Mac.

All my troubles started the day they read the will.

According to the will, your late master

leaves 100 acres of Downtown Dallas,

"To my most faithful friend, my cat Aloysius.

"Next, I leave my three golf clubs, lakeside,

"forest hills, and pebble beach to you know who, Aloysius.

And being of sound mind, I leave my butler, Hives, nothing."

[bam]

1 got the feeling the butler didn't like me.

Then what, Al?

A week l/ater, ! walked into my study

and came face-to-face with myself.

Hives, whom is this impostor?

Hives, whom is this phony baloney?

Shall I throw the phony baloney out, sir?

Let's, Hives.

You'll never get away with this, Hives.

On the contrary, sir.

It's in the bag.

[laughs]

Next thing I knew, ! was dunked in a drink.

Obviously, you need the services of a professional Snooper.

And Blabber Mouse.

For a small exorbitant fee.

I'll gladly pay you $150,000.

-$150,000? -American money?

Isn't $150,000 enough?

Indubitably, Krumpet, one of the brighter butlers.

Right you are, governor.

Did you catch my acting bit?

"Hives, throw this impostor out."

At once, sir. What a team.

Hives and Krumpet. [laughs]

That Butler has buttled his last buttle.

Aly, we're gonna use you for bait.

Me? Bait?

First the butler then Krumpet.

-Ready, men? -Ready.

[laughs] Half a million for me.

And half a million for me. [chuckles]

And twenty years in jail for the both of you.

[Hives] It's him, Aloysius.

You were expecting maybe little Red Riding Hood?

Stop that blooming cat!

Remember, Blab, first Aloysius.

First Aloysius.

-Next Krumpet. -Next Krumpet.

Then drop the ironing board on Hives' noggin.

Got you, Snoop.

Here they come.

-Aloysius. -Check.

-Krumpet. -Check.

-Hives. -Check.

[boing]

Gosh, Snoop. S-say something.

Whom done it?

Help. Help.

Help, fellas.

Here they come. Remember, same instructions.

First Aloysius, next Krumpet,

then pull the rope and trip fatso the butler.

Got you, Snoop.

I'll stand back there where I'll be safe.

One for the money, two for the show,

three to get it.

[bam]

Please, Blab, this time let us not goof.

Here they come, Snoop.

Start the countdown, Blab.

Five, four, three, two, fire one.

[thud]

One down and one to go.

And here comes the next suspect.

Help! Snooper!

Try this on for size, Krumpet.

-[boing] -Bulls eye, Snoop.

A close call, gentlemen.

Shall we call the police?

Allow me, sir.

It's Hives.

Forgive me, sir.

! have been a bad butler.

If you will allow me, I'll remove this rubbish.

Hives isn't all bad.

If you like butlers.

Now, Al, how's about the 150 G's?

Yeah. Let us have it.

By all means. Let 'em have it, Hives old pal.

Let's, Krumpet old chum.

[both] Uh-oh. We goofed.

[gunfire]

We must face it, folks,

the good guys don't always win.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

-Dad, oh, dad? -Yes, son?

I'm on my way at last,

father who loves me better than anything.

On your way where, Apple of my eye son?

To Mars, dad.

You remember those cereal box tops, dad?

Certainly ! do, my son.

Well, what I did, ! sent 'em in, see?

And they sent me my own flying saucer

[chuckles] Have a nice trip, Augie my boy.

But be back in time to do your homework.

Right, dad. And farewell to you, earth father.

[chuckles] What an imagination that son of mine has.

He's a regular Julius Vernie.

[laughs]

[whirring]

Augie, what are you doin'?

Nothing, dad. just forgot my lunch.

-Oh. -So long, dad.

So long, son.

Huh? Augie!

Augie, come back!

Augie, did you hear me?

Oh, did you call me, dear dad?

Any right-thinkin'’ father

would say what I'm gonna say, my son, my son.

-Which is what, my dad? -Get outta that thing!

Oh, the shame of it.

My very own dad, interfering with science,

progress, and the exploration of outer space.

No, Augie, I ain't doin’ any such thing.

I knew you'd understand, dear dad.

Outer space, here I come!

Augie!

[gulps]

Augie, Augie boy!

It's me, your dear old dad,

hangin’ on for his dear old life.

Dad and I! are so close, 1 can hear him talkin’,

even way up here.

1 think I better test out this saucer

before I head for Mars.

[whoosh]

[thud]

Slow down there, Augie boy!

Your dad's weakenin’ fast.

[crash]

[crash]

[whirring]

l gotta admit, my boy sure knows how to handle a flyin’ saucer.

For the last time, son, ! command you to stop!

[boing]

[thud]

Come back, Augie, your daddy forgives you.

All right, speedy, pull over.

Look at my dear dad down there, talking to a policeman.

You say, uh, you were doin’ what?

! was chasin' a flying saucer with my boy in it.

Well, at least this guy's original.

-Officer, you gotta believe me. -Oh, but I do, I do!

Hi, dad of mine!

I do, I do!

I do, I do, I do, I do, 1 do, I do! Really I do!

And what do I do with that boy of mine?

Augie, your dad says come down!

[revving]

l hope he runs outta gas soon.

If I'm goin' to Mars, ! better find out where it is.

I'll ask that plane up ahead.

[whoosh]

Hey, look, Joe, a flyin’ saucer.

So, uh, what else is new?

Yeah, but this one has a dog in it.

Hey, he's holding up a sign.

It says, "Which way to Mars?"

And now, he's waving, what do we do?

Well, ! gotta suggestion: let's get outta here!

[screech]

[whoosh]

l guess they don't know the way to Mars.

Well, I'll ask the man at the gas station.

[whoosh]

Could you tell me which way to Mars?

-Search me, bud. -Thanks.

Don't mention it.

[tires screech]

Did you see a little boy in a flyin’ saucer?

-Certainly, he went thataway. -Thanks.

You know, I think I'm about ready

for that little chicken ranch.

[clucking]

I'll find Mars myself and make my daddy proud.

1 gotta get my boy back.

Air corps defense headquarters.

Hey, maybe they'll help me.

Hey, what's goin' on?

[whoosh]

Oh no, no! Hey, officer!

What are they shootin’ at, sir?

It's a UFO, an unidentified flying object.

That's no UFO, that's my little Augie up there.

You gotta make 'em stop shootin’ at my boy.

[man] Attention, attention, cease firing.

The target has vanished into outer space.

Vanished? My little Augie, gone.

Augie, my son, my son.

[snivels] If'n ! only had you back.

Goodnight, Augie my boy, wherever you are.

Maybe there's a new... [snivels]

dog star in heaven tonight.

Augie, what are you doin' down here

when you should be up there?

Hello, dear old papa dad.

l said I'd be back in time to do my homework.

I know, I know, but who or what is that?

Oh, him?

Beep-beep, beep, beep-beep-beep!

He's a friend of mine from Mars,

and he promised to help me with my homework.

Heh-heh. All l can say is, how many kids

got a real live Martian for a house guest, I ask ya?

[instrumental music]

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereal.

The best to you each morning has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o-ki-a galloping all the way J

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

~ The high-falutin'est fastest shootin'est

£ Cowboy you ever saw Jf

[Quick Draw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you all right?

S'awright.