Original subtitles

Polar Opposites sold. The studio loved the pitch

for the trilogy, and Paula wants me to write it.

- This is incredible. - The thing is,

I'd probably have to be out of town

What if Kyle came and stayed for a while?

[chanting]: Kyle! Kyle!

Sam, have you heard from Jay?

They're supposed to be back by now. I hope Pete's okay.

This is really pushing it.

They landed 40 minutes ago.

They'll be back any second.

JAY: Pete!

How's he doing?

He's gone.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, Jay's waiting to speak with Samantha.

Which they filming in Australia,

because of powerful force known as... tax credit.

[computer chimes]

Hey, babe. And any ghosts if you're in there.

Oh. Hey, living butler!

She can't hear or see us on the video chat, Nancy.

- Oh. - THORFINN: That feature

Has anyone seen Trevor?

I tracked down that old issue of Maxim magazine he wanted.

The one with sexy Marge Simpson on the cover.

- Oh, hey, Sam. - SAMANTHA: Hey, Kyle!

I'm, uh, delivering cartoon smut

And Jay, any big Halloween plans?

What's the latest on bringing Pete back with a séance?

Jerry was Pete's best friend in life who cuckold him repeatedly.

if anything in there will be an item

Jerry just ha-ha'd Jay's weird text, and they moved on.

But even if we have something, we don't know

It's going to work. It has to work.

Man, somebody's got to have it.

♪ ♪

He fakes left, he goes strong to the hole!

HETTY: Blind sycophancy

from your workers. Oh, I miss that.

Guess who's got a date with the hot guy from the gym?

a pretty bad dive on a treadmill,

- but he finally noticed me. - JAY: Nice.

- Where you going? - Oh, he's taking me

Oof. Kyle, relay my oof.

Trevor's expressing some sort of concern.

Wait. What's he saying?

He's saying that a Halloween party is the last place

you want to take this guy, because

it's, uh, his words, "crawling with sexy...

- lifeguards." - TREVOR: I died

during peak Baywatch. You insert your own specifics.

Speaking of points, here's two more.

Arondekar backs down his defender.

Fakes right. [roaring]

[Hetty screams]

on Halloween.

That not good.

ALBERTA: Ooh.

Big news, people. That guy Jerry just called Jay

and confirmed-- he'll be by later

So, it's actually happening.

This is not the time for Lucid Flower.

We need pie-in-the-sky, drug-riddled positivity

right now. [laughs]

Ah!

Oh, this isn't good.

What are you talking about?

Whoa. Why did he have that?

Well, part of it was fear.

Remember how Hetty's maid, who we brought back

I mean, that's not such a big deal. I see that all the time.

Regardless, we can't go through with this séance.

Okay, but Alberta seems really set on going through with it.

I know. It's going to be a tough talk.

Or maybe a gas leak will blow up the house.

Jay did break a mirror on Halloween.

Ah, hey, how'd it go?

We found an incredible match.

- Yeah, we did. - What going on?

Jay's been scouring antique stores across the Hudson Valley

- Wow. That was quick work. - JAY: Right? Maybe even

quick enough to cancel any bad luck,

because we immediately made things right with the universe.

Kind of like when Indy

But didn't that not work? And then, the temple crumbled,

and then Indy almost got squashed by that giant boulder.

And... voilà!

Can you spot a difference?

Well, I can spot one kind of m-major difference.

Who are you? Where am I?

Is it the slightly lighter patina?

There's a ghost in the mirror, Jay.

Seriously?

There's a ghost in the mirror?

Yeah, I was already a little creeped out by the ghosts.

And now this?

Mm-mm. Mark... out.

Well, I can assure you we have never met.

THORFINN: Yeah.

You used to live here, but you had, um...

Oh, my God.

Margaret.

[scoffs] Hetty.

You two know each other?

Ah. So, apparently, mirror ghost is Hetty's sister.

JAY: Okay.

How on earth did you find yourself

in this terrible predicament?

- It was all Hetty's fault. - What?!

There may be some beef between the sisters.

For one, Hetty seems to be responsible

Ah, come on, ghosts. Let's keep it light this year.

The year was 1890.

Is there anything else you can do, Doctor?

A miracle elixir?

It's shaving cream. This soup strainer's

been driving me nuts.

She should be presentable to meet her maker.

I'm bereft.

[sighs] Please do not think any less of me

for requiring the aid of medicinal cocaine.

Although, can't it wait?

Those mirrors are covered for a reason.

If her spirit catches even a glimpse of itself,

she would end up trapped inside, possibly for all eternity.

It was not an old wives' tale.

My spirit left my body,

That's why you don't have your mustache.

- Not the main takeaway, but yes. - KYLE: So,

it gets trapped, and that happened because

Hetty was snorting lines next to Margaret's deathbed.

- Mm-hmm. That's our girl. - HETTY: Okay.

There is no way that I could have known

that superstition would end up being true.

we believed a lot of crazy stuff back then.

We thought your uterus could fly out during a bumpy train ride.

That was also true!

I don't have to take this. You,

Living who apparently can see ghosts,

storm me out of here!

As angrily as you can.

Uh... okay.

I don't understand. Where are all the girls?

It's actually a pretty interesting strategy

Per your warning,

So, she threw her own party and invited only dudes.

All dudes? On Halloween?

Thor calling party... the Halloweiner.

Is clever combination of "Halloween" and "weiner."

Oh, damn it, that's good!

EVAN: It's funny.

Oh, I only go when I run out of body wash.

Kidding.

I also go to watch Real Housewives.

You're hilarious.

Why don't I, uh, get us some drinks?

- Okay. - Okay.

Shall be a most successful

- Halloweiner. - [laughs]

BELA: Amanda, you look amazing.

What the hell are you doing here?

Is that Amanda from Jay's restaurant?

What's tough is looking hot dirty.

Gabe told me everyone from the restaurant had

Gabe, you moron, I invited you to a party.

The haunted house was last year.

You were there.

Now, Amanda, I do kind of need you

- to scram, so... - Amanda?

We went to Wesleyan together.

Hey, remember when Davis

floated me that scoober, and I had

to pancake-catch it to beat Amherst?

EVAN: Stop it. You were

- incredible. - No, you stop it.

- Yeah, guys, stop it. - THORFINN: Two people

shall be lying together tonight,

but Thor fear one shall not be Bela.

[sighs]

Hetty, we just wanted to see how you're doing.

Fine. I know how to keep a stiff upper lip,

ISAAC: Listen, Hetty,

everyone makes mistakes.

So you consigned your sister

to a mirror for 130 years.

[laughing]: I once sneezed

and accidentally shot and killed Nigel.

I don't want to repair the relationship.

What you don't know is that Margaret ruined my life.

What are you talking about?

Do you remember the painter that I was madly in love with?

Of course. You let him paint your bare ankle.

I mean, I was cool with Andy Warhol taking Polaroids

Well, it was Margaret who reported our romance

- to my father. - [gasps]

It was my one chance at love,

and she took it from me.

That sounds truly awful, Hetty.

But she is your sister.

As a ghost, I witnessed you two as children,

and early on, you were quite close.

I haven't thought about those days in ages.

Oh, come on. Don't you remember the pranks you would pull?

Oh. More than fired. I believe

Henrick ended up on a chain gang in Appalachia.

We did have fun.

All I'm saying is that you've been given the rare chance

for a fresh start, and I think you should take it.

I suppose you might have a point.

FLOWER: Great.

Now imagine this,

- [thudding on floor] - Ooh.

Didn't have to imagine it.

Okay, could this old VCR work to bring Pete back at the séance?

We think it has to be something

that was on his person when he died, so,

- What about these glasses? - JAY: Those seem promising.

SASAPPIS: I mean, are we even sure

- those are the ones he died in? - ALBERTA: Those are the ones.

I recognize the scratch on the lens.

I looked past them every time I would stare

into Pete's beautiful baby browns.

Alberta's positive these are the right glasses.

Okay, great. Well, I'll go get the séance candles,

Wait. L-Look, I didn't say anything before because

I didn't know if we were going to be able to find an object,

but I know for a fact that Pete had a Do Not Séance.

He didn't want to be brought back.

- Why not? - He was afraid he'd say too much

- A Do Not Séance? Oh, come on. - TREVOR: Ooh.

I kind of get it. Pete was a famous over-sharer.

SASAPPIS: And a travel agent.

What if they had little hotel soaps up there?

Or in-room dining, or the 24-hour fitness center?

You don't think he'd be raving about those?

This is ridiculous. Even if he did have a Do Not Séance,

I know Pete, and there's nothing he wouldn't risk

Which I know is a movie Pete liked,

but probably not one he would want to reenact.

You wouldn't be doing this for Pete, Alberta.

- How dare you. - How dare you!

Whoa. He turn it around on her.

Powerful use of repetition.

that was very special to me,

and I never even got the chance to say goodbye.

We are doing this séance, and that's final.

Huh. A well-thumbed TV Guide

with Loni Anderson on the cover. Kind of random.

Yeah, you're probably going to want to put that down.

Perhaps you'd like to move me to the bathroom?

MARGARET: Why has the constable been called?

Are there some deadbeat Irish about

to be evicted by the homeowners?

Oh, no, uh, there's a costume party downstairs.

It's Halloween.

Is it?

Uh...

Well, as I was saying...

Henrietta, I can see

that you're extending an olive branch.

You mean we just sweep our difficult histories

under the rug and move on like nothing happened?

Come, sister,

so that we may join our hands in a gesture of peace.

[laughs] Ah!

[scoffs]

I don't understand! What happened to our fresh start?

I don't want a fresh start.

the one day where the veil between worlds is thin enough

Because the mirror is one in, one out, so get comfortable.

[laughing]: Oh.

No, Henrietta. What you did to me was unforgivable.

could change the shape of your face.

- We called it "bicycle face." - Well, that was also true!

But I'm not talking about the mirror.

I'm talking about something much worse.

- What? What did I do? - Well,

if you don't remember, I'm not going to tell you.

You'll have a lifetime in the mirror to figure it out.

Meanwhile, I'll be far, far away.

Wendy wasn't windswept.

She was just losing weight!

Okay, so, according to the instructions that Sam sent me,

I say the incantation, and then,

everybody holds hands and repeats after me.

"Spirit, spirit, draw in near.

- [thunder rumbling] - Ooh.

[laughing]

[gasps] Pete!

I missed you all so much.

Especially you, Bertie.

PETE: I'm so happy to see you all, I'm not even

gonna miss my nightly turndown service with Swiss choc--

[all screaming]

That worst thing Thor ever see, which is saying something!

No!

"Spirit, spirit, draw in near."

- Stop! - Uh, what is it, Alberta?

We can't do this.

But it's just...

It's too risky.

SASAPPIS: I know this must be really hard,

but you're making the right call.

We're all gonna miss Pete so much,

but we're gonna get through it together.

We love you, Bertie.

Kyle, what's going on? Fill me in, bro.

So why are we still holding hands?

I don't know.

MARK: Looking good, you guys. You heading

to the Catalina Wine Mixer?

- JAY: So how's it going here? - MARK: Bad.

BELA: Ugh. All I want is a guy

who won't abandon me

at a party I threw just to trap him.

My sister and I made amends,

and I suppose being released from that

emotional prison released me from my physical one, as well.

Wow. Hetty must be so happy. Where is she?

She had to walk it off.

The vulnerability took a toll.

KYLE: Okay, so,

fun update. Uh, Margaret made up with Hetty,

and it released her from the mirror.

Thank you all for your hospitality,

I'm catching up here,

but are you saying that that ghost lady

- who was stuck in the mirror got out? - JAY: Yeah,

but it still kind of feels like the mirror is vaguely cursed.

I wonder if that antique store takes returns.

ISAAC: Or exchanges.

Kyle, perhaps you could look for a mirror

that has, say, a buff paleontologist in it?

MARK: The mirror was final sale, but

for my holiday rate, I could drop it off at the dump for you.

Halloween counts as a holiday?

Do I have to pay for your mileage, too?

Jay, come on. Of course you do.

Alberta, we know you sad

because you not get to see Pete one last time.

And now, his death day's coming up next week.

That's gonna be a hard milestone.

It's a TV spot that ran locally in the early '80s.

[VCR whirring]

- [Italian music playing] - Howdy, friends.

I'm Pete Martino,

- Oh. - Whether it's beautiful Sicily,

- famiglia. - Famiglia.

Bye now.

How did he not know he was in the mob?

Yeah, child, the signs were all there. [laughs]

You want me to take anything else

to the dump while I'm making the trip?

I have a cousin from Edmonton, so, yes.

Duly noted.

Oh! Put me down! Unhand me. Unhand me!

I don't want to go to the dump!

Kyle! Ghosts! Somebody help!

You watch where you touch me, you pervert!

Hetty! What are you doing in the mirror?

Oh, Trevor, my sister tricked me,

and now these goons are trying to get rid of me.

- [yelling] - [Jay and Hetty yell]

[Trevor gasps]

What the hell, Gabe?!

Hetty?!

Damn it. Another seven years bad luck.

Got that Knicks championship in just in time.

Captioning sponsored by CBS

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org