Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning, from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

You human fly burglar, you.

Filed again by the great Captain Zoom-Zoom.

So long till next time, my loyal TV fans.

Fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep. So long, Captain Zoom-Zoom. Fweep, fweep,

fweep, fweep, fweep.

Glad. It actually behoves me creditability how you believe that

Captain Zoom-Zoom mishmash.

Captain Zoom-Zoom is my hero, Snoop.

Next to you, of course.

Blab, for your gullible information, Captain Zoom-Zoom is a phony baloney.

But Snoop, he just captured the human fly burglar single-handed.

Your naiveness repels me. Don't you realize that... Flash, we bring you a

special news bulletin. The real human fly burglar has just threatened to steal

the terribly expensive Pascuniac Sapphire from J. Pletitude Pascuniac's

penthouse home.

No. If there was a real Captain Zoom-Zoom, the human fly burglar

wouldn't stand a chance.

Our switchboards have been deluged with calls demanding that Captain Zoom-Zoom

capture the real human fly burglar.

Captain Zoom-Zoom, will you go after the real human fly burglar?

Natch, all human fly burglars are alike to the great Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep.

Fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep.

Save your fweeps, Blam.

The whole thing's probably just a publicity stunt.

Snoop, I'm afraid you're becoming hard and cynical.

Snooper Detective Agency.

A small down payment's all you need to help us solve the case indeed.

Snoop speaking.

Who? Captain Zoom-Zoom?

I thought you were out catching the human fly burglar. Quote. Fweep-fweep!

Unquote.

Are you kidding?

I couldn't catch a 12-pound bass if it was in a derby hat.

That's why I'm calling you.

You want us to impersonate you and capture the human flight burglar?

Will you do it for $50,000?

Hurry, I have a splitting headache.

Oh, for that kind of bucks money, I'd wrestle an octopus in Lacey's window

with me hands tied behind me sacroiliac.

What are you thinking of precious Captain Zoom-Zoom now, Blab?

I feel sort of disenchanted.

That's why it's our founding main duty to prevent his millions of fans from

becoming likewise.

But how, Snoop?

Elementary school, me dear Blab. All we need is a fearless, courageous, athletic

type to dress up like Captain Zoom-Zoom. Oh, boy.

You're going after the human fly burglar, huh, Snoop?

To the contrary, Blab. You're gonna be Captain Zoom-Zoom.

Only a top-notch private eye like Snoop would prevent millions of fans from

becoming disenchanted.

I gotta admit, you look pretty good in that Captain Zoom-Zoom getup, Blab.

I sure gotta admit, I feel terribly proud.

Say, Snoop, look at that man going up the side of that building.

Oh, the elevator must be out of kilter.

He's just like a fly.

Just like a human fly burglar, that is.

He's heading for the Paskunyuk penthouse in a terribly expensive sapphire. Let's

go.

I'm one fly that prefers sapphires to sugar.

Stop.

In the name of Channel 32.

Uh-oh. It's Captain Zoom-Zoom with some other goony guy.

Go get him, Captain Zoom-Zoom. Right, Snoop.

But first, I have just one question.

Do you think these suction cups will really work? Well, if they don't, Blab,

we'll return them and get our money back.

That seems fair enough.

Now the safe should be behind the painting. It always is.

There you are.

Come to me, my terribly expensive sapphire. Oh, you mean my terribly

expensive sapphire. I am J. Plentitude Paskudniak, and I resent your stealing

it. And I'm the human fly burglar who doesn't care what you resent.

And I'm the fearless and athletic Captain Zoom-Zoom. Come to the rescue.

Stick him up. Captain Zoom-Zoom?

I'm your greatest fan.

I beg to differ. I am your greatest fan.

May I have your autograph, please? No, no. May I have your autograph, double

please? Gee, thanks loads.

It's a heroic pleasure, I'm sure.

And next, to my richest fan, or maybe I should make it to my billionaire friend,

Jay Plenitude. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I'd much rather have my terribly expensive sapphire than your autograph.

You're right.

First things first.

But where is the human fly burglar?

There he is. On the ceiling.

Don't just stand there, Zoom-Zoom. Shoot him down with your Captain Zoom-Zoom

gun. Right, JP.

Ready? Right, JP.

Aim. Right, JP.

Fire!

Never mind.

I'll get him with my elephant gun.

Well, then, you'll be needing more light.

Egad! My terribly expensive 10-ton chandelier.

There goes the human fly burglar with J. Planet 2 Paskunyak's terribly expensive

sapphire. But now it's my terribly expensive sapphire.

Don't worry, Snoop. Captain...

And that's how I captured the human fly burglar. All by myself.

Fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep.

Captain Zoom-Zoom, you're the greatest.

Fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep, fweep.

Fweepers face it. The real heroes aren't all on TV.

is full of dangerous animals.

Hark! I hear the snarl of the wild and ferocious jackanapes.

What's that you say, Ooga Ooga, my faithful gun boy?

Oh, master, Wagga Wagga Ooga Ooga, me chicken.

gun boy

And now we bring you the next chapter of Tom, Tom, Tom, the Jungle Boy.

But first, we bring you a special news bulletin. Police are still searching for

a gorilla named Bongo Bongo who escaped from the city zoo this morning.

Oh, Dad.

It just so happens that I've got a luncheon engagement with the

hippopotamusaurus.

Too bad, busy father of mine.

I'm going to capture a gorilla.

With a can of paint and some bananas?

Uh-huh. I'm going to build a gorilla...

I'll say hello to him later.

Okay, Bongo Bongo. In the closet, like Daddy says.

Bongo Bongo is in the closet, Dad. That's fine, Augie. I'll bring him a

deck of cards so he and the Wild Jack and Apes can pass the time playing

ginger and rummy.

Hey, what's my old raccoon coat doing in there?

I thought I packed that old thing in a trunk years ago.

Yikes! It's alive with moths!

And the moths are hostile!

And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's hostile moths.

Augie! Call the bug exterminators quick!

What for, Dad?

I'll have to think it over. And being a slow thinker, check with me in about 37

years. When you see how affectionate Bongo is, you'll decide right away, Dad.

Okay,

all right, I'm convinced.

I'm convinced he's lovable, Augie. Tell him to put me down.

Then you adopt him as your very own son?

But I already have a son who's full of monkey shines.

Um, couldn't he be your nephew, Dad?

That's a thought, Augie.

After all, how many fathers can also say they're a monkey's uncle?

another daring bank robbery is pulled by that mysterious outlaw the masked

mosquito leaving an empty bank

what do we do with all the empty space in the vault where the money used to be

mr bank president well since i've been stung by the masked mosquito i can sure

use it and here is the town sheriff oh sheriff

We know you must be very busy, but can we ask you a question?

Yes? Is it true that because of the masked mosquito robberies, the citizens

threatened to run you out of town on a rail?

Well, let's put it this way. Yes, it's true.

See you around.

Just a minute, Sheriff.

Hold it, boys.

The famous Quickdraw McGraw is coming to town. He might be able to help you.

Quickdraw McGraw? No, thanks.

I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Get up, boys!

Say, Quickdraw, look.

I think that fellow is riding a rail.

Must be the poor fellow can't afford a horse, Baba Louie. Oh, Quickdraw.

Yes? What are you doing in town?

I come looking for work, but I see cowboys can't even afford horses in this

town. The town does need a sheriff.

It does?

Well, I'm their man.

That's true, because he's the highfalutin' as fast as shootin' as

Quickdraw.

You're a little flat, but thanks, Bubba Boy.

There's just one thing.

What's that?

If you want to be sheriff, you have to capture the masked mosquito.

It's no sooner said than don't. And don't you forget it.

I think Quickstraw speak my language.

He don't speak so good either.

How you think you catch this masked mosquito, Quickstraw?

Simple, Bubba Boy. See that saloon over yonder?

One of those critters in there is the Masked Mosquito.

Unmasked, of course.

Oh, of course.

You and I will have a fake fight, and, uh... I gots it.

Then he will ask me to join his gang.

Right. And when we know who he is, we got the varmint and the gold.

He's a pretty good idea.

Quickster must have seen it on TV, I think.

Well, uh... After looking all these gunslingers over, my intuition tells me

that tough-looking hombre is really the masked mosquito without... Without what,

Quickstraw? Without his mask, of course.

Okay, let's go to work.

Right, and remember to make it look good. Ready?

I'm ready.

Why don't you look where you're going, you little sawed-off galoot?

Take that!

What do I do now, Quickstraw?

Make believe you're angry.

Put on a good act.

Okay.

Am I mad?

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Ooh. Does that ever smart.

Not only that, but you're a big bully, too.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

Can I join you gang, Mr. Mosquito?

What gang?

I'm the village blacksmith.

Hey, you.

Come here.

I'm the masked mosquito.

Unmasked, of course.

Of course.

What did you just do to that polecat McGraw?

I'll show you.

That's pretty good.

How would you like to join my gang?

Sure, Mr. Mosquito.

Let's go.

Not so fast.

You gotta pass a test first.

A test?

Yeah. Let's see you rob a bank.

Okay. Hey, Quickstruck, I think the trick is working.

Trick? What trick?

Uh-oh. I almost spilled the frijoles. I better do something quick.

Hey, you!

Who, me?

Yes, you. You big bully.

Take this.

You gotta admit, Baba Louie is a mighty fine little actor.

I'm a little mosquito.

Stick him up.

Ain't he cute?

Hold on there, unmasked mosquito. The jig is up.

It's that no-good hombre, Quickdraw McGraw.

Move slow, mosquito.

Right.

I think now maybe Quickstraw will catch him.

Hey, Quickstraw.

Whoops. Did you catch him?

Who, Baba Boy?

The masked mosquito.

He just ran out of the bank.

Well, I declare, I didn't recognize him with his mask off.

Then I think I better catch him myself.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't recognize him with his mask on either.

You made a nice haul, little mosquito.

Now let's divide the loot.

Oh, that's a good idea, Mr. Mosquito.

Come on.

Let me have what's coming to me.

That's a good idea, too.

Like Quickdraw says, ooh, that's smart.

OK, Bubba Boy.

I'll take over the tough part now and throw him in jail.

Oh, no, you don't. I saw the whole thing.

You did?

Yeah, and the little fella did it all by himself. You big faker.

I resent that.

Resent this.

Ooh, that was a real smart turn.

Now that you're sheriff, what is Quickdraw going to do?

Oh, Quickdraw is leaving town.

Is he traveling by stagecoach? No. I think he's going by rail.

All aboard!

Well, so long, Quickdraw. Have a nice trip.

Thank you, I will.

So long.

Ooh, that splinter smarts. Ooh, ouch. Ooh, ouch, ouch. Ouch, ouch.

Ooh, ouch.

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, there goes Quick Draw McGraw!

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals, the best to you, each morning has

brought you Quick Draw McGraw!

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, great big star on his chest!

I'll draw the...