Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Oh, dear old dad.

What is it, Aki, my boy?

Have you got change for 50?

All I've got is 38 cents.

I'll have to owe you the rest.

Never mind.

He must have saved his allowance for a whole month to have 50 cents.

Oh, Dad.

What is it, my newspaper-reading, interrupting son of mine?

What is the one thing you want most that costs lots and lots of money?

Well, now I could use a new car. The differential is interfering with the

carburetor later on the old one.

Why do you ask, my son?

Here, poverty-stricken dad, get yourself a couple of new cars.

Thanks, Augie, my rich son.

You're welcome, grateful father.

And there's lots more where that came from.

Augie, where did you get all this money?

From my money-making machine, suddenly rich father of mine.

How do you like that? My son's a counter-footer.

And I wanted him to be a supermarket checker.

I suppose the next question is, where did I get the machine?

Eh, inquisitive dad?

You took the supposing right out of my mouth, Augie. Well, a gentleman dropped

it out of his car.

Believe me, Augie, he was no gentleman.

He wasn't? Who was he then? Father who knows all?

None other than Lefty Louie, the international counterfeiter. Your law

-abiding son was unaware of that, understanding dad?

I'll call the police right away.

I wouldn't do that if I was you.

Lefty Louie, the counterfeiter.

All right, kid. You picked up my machine, got it? Is there a reward out

for you, Lefty? There's always a reward for Lefty Louie. Is there enough for a

couple of new cars?

At least.

Now get that machine or your old man gets it.

Do what the nice gentleman says, Augie boy.

Well, that's that.

All right, where's the machine?

I hid it where no one will ever find it.

Don't worry, Petrified Dad.

He won't hurt you. I'm the only one who knows where it is.

You gotta admit, my boy has a point there.

I get it. You want me to cut you in on it.

You better humor him, Lefty.

I've seen that stubborn look of his before.

All right, give me that machine, or I'll... Or you'll what?

Or I'll do anything you want. Just name it. I know. Let's play games.

Okay. What'll it be?

Checkers?

Parcheeses?

Tiddlywinksies? Uh-uh. I feel like playing circus.

Okay. Let's play circus.

Don't go away, folks.

This could be interesting.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the great dive-o, who will dive

a height of 100 feet into a tub of water.

And there he goes.

Whoops, I forgot the water.

Water coming right up.

Thanks. I made it, Dad.

For your ratification, we present the great high wire expert who will cross

the wire on a unicycle. And there he goes.

I gotta play along or I'll never get that machine.

This is the dance.

Hey, I made it.

Hey!

What's the next act, ringmaster?

It's the...

Why can't we play hopscotch instead, huh?

There's that stubborn look again.

All right, all right.

Hey,

this is fun.

Look, kid, what say we split 50-50 on the machine and call it quits?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

For sheer perspicacity and audacity in the face of danger to life and limb.

That's my boy there.

Who's uttering those big words?

We will now bring you Speed Wizard, who will ride his motorcycle at 100 miles

an hour right through a brick wall.

Boy, what some people won't do for money.

You win, kid.

Keep the machine.

I'm leaving.

But there's just one more act to do.

Then can I have the machine?

Sure. If you do this final act. I will, I will, I will.

I reiterate, don't go away, folks.

And now, for the stupendous finale, I give you Claude Britches, the lion

tamer.

Lion. Probably.

Some mangy alley cat.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Freeze!

This is Lefty Louie, former bad guy.

Come and get me, please. Hurry!

And don't forget the reward.

That's my law-abiding son who said that.

After all.

How many fathers can say their boy bought them a big new car for a small

one for a spare?

Howdy, folks.

This is your old Indian fighter bringing you another thrilling saga of the Old

West. Today, my story is about Cactus Cecil, the meanest, toughest hombre

that ever slapped leather or robbed a bank.

All right, folks.

I'm Cactus Cecil, the meanest, toughest hombre that ever slapped leather or

robbed a bank.

Stick him up.

I'll never forget the day I fell for Cactus Nell.

I'll count to three, then hand over the loot.

One, two, three.

Sitting on a thumbtack made me tall in the saddle.

Do I get the money, or must I count to ten?

Oh, I won't be at the roundup, Nellie, because I'm such a square.

If I count to 127, will you give me the loot?

All right, Buster. Stop annoying the man.

Now go play outside.

Oh, for sure.

Nobody will believe I want to rob that bank. Oh, for sure.

For sure.

Cactus Cecil's mind was made up to rob that bank. But how?

Then one day, something happened to give him an idea.

Marry up with me, Lily Bell, so I can steal your ranch nice and legal.

Never, you villain.

What's with this never? Who's going to stop me?

None other than that writer of wrongs, El Cabong.

El Cabong? What's an El Cabong? I don't see any El Cabong. You will.

old cabong.

Yep, and there's more cabongs. Where that cabong cabonged from?

I'm getting out of here.

San Francisco, open up your golden gate.

Extra, extra, your cabong wrote villain.

I'll take a paper, son.

Of course, this is a stick-up. The price is still a nickel. Take it or leave it.

Oh, for sure, I'll take it.

And if you're a female in distress, just yell for El Cabong.

El Cabong doesn't know it, but he's going to help me rob a bank.

Meanwhile,

El Cabong, who was really the famous lawman, Quick Bra McGraw, was just

loping along, singing the good old songs of the West.

Oh, I'm a lonesome cowboy,

cause the girl...

Say, Quickstrap.

What is it, my faithful companion?

This loping along is tough on my feet, but your singing is tougher on my ears,

don't you think?

I'll do the thinning around here, Baba Boy, and don't you disremember it.

How's that again?

I said, I think you sing like a bird, Quickstrap.

Who would ever suspect a helpless, appearing little old lady?

Hey, come back here with that money, you helpless, appearing little old lady.

Help! Help! Come on!

Help! Help!

That sounds like a helpless, appearing little old lady in distress.

Undisturb yourself, helpless, appearing little old lady, because...

Looking like that, Quickstraw.

Whoops. Wrong costume.

El Cabong will save you in the right costume.

Help. El Cabong. Help.

Hooray.

Cabong.

I don't know how to thank you, Mr. Cabong.

Oh, shucks, ma'am. Just knit me a holster.

There he is, Sheriff. He's the one that cabonged me.

I don't believe it. El Cabong's turned outlaw and took up with that helpless

-appearing little old lady, who is really Cactus Cecil in disguise.

Oh, they're after my money again. What shall I do?

You just scurry off on your helpless-appearing little old leg.

I'll take care of them.

head. That was Captain Cecil with the bank money.

You get that money back, El Cabong, or it's the El Caboose for you.

Cabonger and all.

Oh, for sure.

They're on to me.

Hooray!

Cabong!

There's nothing I hate worse than being in jail.

Oh, yes, there is.

I'll spend it all at one place.

Hooray!

Hooray yourself.

See how you like it.

Oh, come on. I'm hoo-waying in the wrong direction.

Thanks for breaking my fall, Cheryl.

Don't go west, my mother said. You'll get hurt, she said.

But would I listen? No, not me.

You was right, Mom.

Your boy is a-coming home.

At last, I think I can afford a long vacation.

I think so, too.

Stick them up, Cactus Cecil.

Oh, pshaw.

Pshaw.

And so ended Cactus Cecil's bank robbing career.

Now, we have a surprise guest on our program.

None other than El Cabong himself and his faithful companion, Baba Louie.

Howdy, everybody out there in TV land.

Likewise. I was just telling our audience how the great El Cabong goes.

What have you got to say for yourself, huh?

Just this.

Cabong!

If there's anything I can't stand, it's an old Indian fighter tattletale.

And that was for me, too, I think.

I'm getting tired.

Do you suppose we'll ever get our patrol car back?

As soon as we can make up the payments, Blab, the repossessor will possess it

back to us.

Meanwhile, let's hope that we get a caper that pays lots of money.

Right, Snoop. A first-class private eye never gets discouraged.

Just because he happens to be flat broke.

Hazel to Snoop. Hazel to Snoop. Come in, Hazel.

Say, Hazel, I thought they disconnected our phone.

What phone are you using?

I'm not using the phone. I'm shouting out the window.

Necessity is the mama of invention.

Are there any signs of business, Hazel?

Oh, yes.

Jay Richly Richly was over.

Oh, you mean the wealth-to-do millionaire?

Yes. He wants to see you right away.

Well, this may be the monetary job we've been waiting for. So, uh, make like a

siren. Right, Snoop.

Jay Richly Richly has a swell abode of a mansion, Snoop.

Try not to look hungry, Blab. Right, Snoop.

That must be those two-bit private eyes.

All the good ones are out of town.

You are super-sumer, Ivory Snoop. I mean... I know what you mean. And you're

presuming up the right tree.

You sent for us, I take it? Or we wouldn't be here, would we?

Quiet, you booby Blab.

Right, Snoop.

I shall pay you $50,000 to find my stolen gems.

And I suspect Grimes, my butler, is the thief.

Come, I'll show you.

I don't mean to differentiate with you, but the only times the butler did it is

in them old, old movies on the late night show.

Grimes and myself are the only ones who live here. I keep my priceless gem

collection in this vault-like room.

Only I know the combination.

And here is my fabulous gem collection.

Just one a day has been stolen. No more.

Might I interject?

They must be worth millions.

Thousands, even.

I'll bet you must be well off, Mr. Richly.

I want you to pose as window washers. And when my butler returns from the

market, watch him.

Even though this ain't the late night show, we'll do it.

Anyone skulking near the vault door, Blab?

No, Snoop.

Anything new inside the vault?

Yeah. Something we missed before, Blab. A clue, Snoop? And what a clue.

Footprints from the gems that get smaller and smaller and disappear into a

mouse hole.

How devilishly clever of the culprits.

What better place to hide gems than in a mouse hole?

What's more devilishly clever is that the croc walks into the mouse hole.

Hark, as they say.

Someone is at the vault door.

Time to put away another blooming gem.

Downsy-daisy.

And under the door.

J. Richly Richly was right.

It was the butler. And there he obscures with a gem into the mouse hole.

Soon I'll have the old ruddy lot.

And then it's me for the Orkney Islands for a jolly time.

Okay, Blamp, go after him.

You're asking me to drink that stuff, Snoop?

Socially, I would ask you. But officially, it's an order.

Aye, aye, sir.

Down she goes.

And under the door.

Uh-oh.

Oyer's footsteps.

They couldn't be the master's.

All right, Grimes. The jig is up. So come out with your arms akimbo.

How's this?

one swig of that potion, and I'll squish them both under me foot.

Don't let them get to that potion, Blatt, or we'll be squished for good.

at your booby blab?

Gosh, Snooper. I never thought of that.

Seven million goes into 47 million six times.

Come in.

I'm happy to relate we recovered your stolen gems.

And the devilishly clever butler, too.

Oh, what's the blatant use?

Good work, Snooper.

Where are you, Snooper? This is no time to play games.

Here we are, sir.

How did those fleas get on my desk?

Yikes!

Lemus, get out of here!

It'll take us six weeks to get back our normal size without the potion.

Oh, fine, fine.

What do we do meanwhile, Snoop?

Hmm, let me think.

Well, as I see it, there's only one thing we can do, and we may as well get

at it. Come on!

Ready? Here we go again.

I don't get it, Snoop. Why did we have to join the flea circus?

Well, Blamp, I'll tell you. It was either this or go to the dogs.

I get it, Snoop.

Go to the dogs.

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, there goes Quick-Draw McGraw!

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals, the best to you, each morning has

brought you Quick-Draw McGraw!

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, great big star on his chest!

I'll draw all of the rest,

plastic gun in the rest!

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay!

Let's go.