Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning, from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Of all the business people who settled the Old West, none had it tougher than

the newspaper man.

Whoa, Benchy! That empty store is where we're going to set up shop.

His editorial policy was constantly challenged.

The Daily Blunder.

Mr.

That's not the way to spell daily.

D-A-L-E-Y.

The Daily Blunder.

Well, that's how I... I spell it, so get it.

That's more like it. Belongs in school.

There, now, that's better. D-A-Y-L-Y.

The Daily Blunder is in business.

Most important of all was the Newspaper Man's crusade against crime.

Bat Melfry is a thieving polecat.

He'll flick when he reads this.

A favorite poll card?

Me?

Yeah. Oh, I hate to read things like that.

That editor must be taught a lesson.

That'll teach you never to print the truth about me.

Oh, and by the way, that is not the way to spell...

The Daily Blunder continued its crusade against Bat Beltray.

got too rough for the old editor so he sent for the only one who could help him

the highfalutinest fastest shooting us quick draw who was vacationing on his

beautiful ranch mcgraw with his faithful little companion

baba louis hey quick straw it's almost time for the newspaper boy here's your

piper oh that's more hey quick throw i think it's a special edition

Just for you.

It says, Dear Quickdraw, please come help me crusade against that belfry.

And it's signed, Indignant Editor.

What you gonna do about it, Quickdraw?

Do about it? Why, I'm gonna answer this help-wanted ad, Baba Louie.

Stop them presses and hold up that old front page, cause Quickscope McGraws are

coming. I like these, Quickdraw.

I think he's a ham bone.

Quickdraw, you've come in answer to my plea.

Yep, and my first duty is to tell you that that is not the way to spell daily.

I'm sorry, Quickdraw.

There we are. How's that?

D-A-I-G-H-L-Y.

Now that's more like it.

What do we do now, Quickdraw?

We goes out to hunt for news.

I think I like that.

So the first one we interviews is Bat Belfry.

How are you, the new sheriff?

Mercy me, no.

Then come on in.

Kind of makes you wonder what happened to the old sheriff.

Make it snappy. I got to rob a tree.

You're Batson the Belfry, key wreck.

No, I'm Bat Belfry.

Don't think I didn't have trouble with that name in school.

Bat, I'm going to run you out of town.

You and who else?

Me and this.

With that?

Sure. Don't you know the pencil is mightier than the six-gun?

That's a little dull. Let me sharpen it for you.

You know, Boba Louie.

He's got a point there.

This headline will scorch him plenty.

What do it say, Quickstraw?

It say, Bat Belfry, get out of town by sundown or else.

Or else what, Quickstraw?

Don't rush me. I'll think of something.

You just go sell them. But, Quickstraw.

And give them the hard sell.

X3, I think you read all about it. X3.

Here, boy, I'll take one. How much?

For you, senor, nothing.

In fact, take them all.

Get out of town by sundown?

Oh,

how that roughs me the wrong way.

It's almost sundown, Quistra. Have you think of something?

Don't rush me. Don't rush me.

It's sundown, McGraw.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Your watch must be fast. I got a quarter till.

My gun's fast, too.

He don't believe in good sportsmanship, Baba.

Then fight him bare knuckle, Squeakstraw.

Why, of course.

I'll whop him to a frazzle.

I think you will.

Put up your dukes, Matt.

It's a pleasure.

Any more bright ideas, Bubba?

No, but there's a bright little kid.

He's fixing the sign on the window.

Oh, no.

Somebody finally spelled it right.

D-A-I-L-Y.

And any town whose kids are that smart... ain't no place for me.

One at a time now.

A, B.

Uh, F, uh, M. I mean, uh, Z, X, uh, L.

I like that Quickstra. He may be too old for school, but his brain is still in

kindergarten.

Once upon a time, in a faraway castle, there lived a very wicked queen, who was

also very beautiful.

Each morning, she would ask her magic mirror the same question.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?

Uh, ask me something else.

You heard me.

Who is fairest of them all?

Not you anymore, that's for sure.

What? Oh, you're not bad.

But a new chick's moved into town who makes you look like a pair of old

overalls hanging on a line.

Her name.

Tell me her name.

Her name is Snow White.

I must find her and make her ugly.

But how?

Why not hire a private eye to find her?

Snow, for detective agency, we solved the caper for that green paper.

What? Who?

The Queen of Wickedonia?

Yes. I'll give you a bucket of assorted rubies if you find Snow White and bring

her to my castle.

I'll think about it and let you know.

A good private eye never shows his anxious to get the fee.

I've thought it over, and I'll take the Snow White caper.

Leave us go, Blab. It's a 1207.

Gosh, Snoop, a 1207?

Isn't that a queen looking for a missing person?

Right, Blab.

What'll we look for, Snoop?

I read the book, and I remembered a little tyke had a hideout in the woods.

Let's check this picturesque fairy tale type house.

It says Grandma's House on the picturesque letterbox.

Perchance the old girl can give us a clue to Snow White.

Come in, little red riding hood.

I thought your name was Snoop.

My stars.

A couple of unexpected strangers.

Relax, Granny.

Just answer a few law-abiding questions.

I'm just a poor old lady who bothers no one.

Yes, ma'am. Do you know a Miss Snow White?

No, but I did know a Miss Cinderella once.

She was kind of an oddball.

Used to wear one shoe.

Married up with the prince, I think.

Yes, ma'am. Of course. There's my granddaughter, Little Red Riding Hood.

She's bringing me a basket of goodies this afternoon.

Yes, ma'am.

Here she is now.

Come in, little Red Riding Hood.

Yeah, hiya, Granny. I bring you a basket of goodies.

Whoops. I didn't know you had company.

Uh, we were just leaving.

Do you know a Miss Snow White?

Can't say that I do.

But if you should run into a girl who says she's Red Riding Hood, don't you

believe it.

Yes, ma'am.

That's not Red Riding Hood. That's a wolf.

I know, Blab, but don't worry.

He gets his in the end. I read it in the book.

Now what, Snoop?

Look for clues, that's what.

Let's get back and see if that porridge has cooled off.

I just don't understand it. You never used to complain about my cooking

before. Now it's the porridge is too hot, it's too cold.

Please, dear parents, not in front of strangers.

It gives the impression of untogetherness.

Pardon this intrusion on a family matter, but I don't suppose you know the

whereabouts of a Miss Snow White.

Are you kidding?

Ask her.

There ain't nothing she don't know.

So I'll ask.

Do you know Snow White?

Sure. She just moved into the old hut down the road.

Used to be rented by seven little midgets.

Thanks, ever so largely.

Snoop is very good at worming out information from reluctant witnesses.

Pardon me, miss. Are you Snow White?

Yes, I'm Snow White. And I'm waiting for my Prince Charming to come for me when

the calla lilies bloom again.

Isn't she gorgeous?

I'm afraid the Prince Charming bit is out, Snow.

I'm turning you over to the Queen.

No, not the Queen.

She's wicked and she means to harm me.

Fear not, Snow.

Blab and I will stand guard here until your prince charming comes for you. Oh,

thank you, sir. And I shall give you both a calla lily, if the dang things

ever bloom.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, why doesn't Super Snooper call?

Because, Snow, I talked him out of the caper, that's why.

They're all hiding out in that old hut where those seven midgets used to live.

I shall go there myself and give Snow White this poisoned apple.

I'll make her ugly as a toad.

Whoa!

Darn you, whoa!

Come on!

Whoa!

Halt! Who goes there?

If I may coin a phrase.

It is I, Prince Charming, come to fetch Snow White to live afterly ever happer.

I mean happily ever after. Ooh, these clichés.

You're Prince Charming? Ha-ha!

likely story.

A couple of wise guys, eh?

We'll beat it, or I'll shish kebab you with my spear.

Prince Charming, you're here.

And before the color lilies bloom, too.

I just couldn't wait. My horse is double tethered.

Farewell, kind friends.

So long, Snow.

Have a happy wedding.

Don't take any wooden rice.

So, you let her get away.

It's your royal wickedness, the queen.

You're too late.

Snow White got away.

Well, there's no hard feelings. I brought you this royal apple.

Thanks, ever so largely.

And you're a good sport, Queenie.

Mmm, this is delicious, Blab. Here, have a bite.

Gee, thanks, Snoop.

Hold it, Blab. I think there's dirty work underfoot.

All of a sudden, I feel slap-hoppy.

Snoop, you turn into a frog.

Very observant, Blab. Now, get busy and take me home.

But, Snoop, I'll get warts on my hands.

Well, have you any other suggestions?

Uh-huh.

Now, why did you do that, Blab?

Because now we can go home together without any embarrassment to either one

of us.

Right, Blab.

Let's get hopping.

I'll give my boy. If you want to learn winter sports, just keep an eye on your

dear old dad.

Shall do, Olympic caliber father of mine.

I'm too small and puny to fly all the way south, so I have to

hitchhike.

Look, Dad, it's a hitchhiking duck. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a

hitchhiking duck.

But soft-headed, I mean, hearty dad, he just wants to live.

I'm doing this against my better judgment.

Okay, hop in.

Oh, thank you.

Where you headed for?

South, but all the rest of the block.

You're starting a little late, aren't you?

Well, that's because I'm too small and puny.

He's the puniest duck I ever saw.

I make up for it by being smart.

Listen to how smart I am.

One and one is five.

Five and five is sixty-seven.

I'm pretty smart, huh?

I gotta admit, you know your arithmetic.

Let's go.

The lake is as far as we go, so happy south to you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

He's catching a cold, Dad. We can't let him walk.

Now, don't worry, Augie. A few drops of this hot milk will warm him up.

Here, shorty.

How's that?

All right?

All right. All right.

Now hit the road before your folks start worrying about you.

Well, I ain't got no mommy.

I couldn't stand.

So get lost.

All right for you.

You'll be sorry.

I'll never speak to you again.

Watch this, Huggy. A figure eight the hard way. A five.

My skates are rusty, that's all.

Let me try them.

Hey, what are you doing with my skates?

Oh, they're not rusty.

I'll show you.

Gee, that's wonderful.

Give me back my skates, you little show-off.

Anything a duck can do, I can do better.

Be careful.

I'll do that trick backwards with my eyes closed.

Watch out for the barrels, Dad.

What did you say?

Did you hurt yourself, Dad?

No, I'm all right, Augie. I can still walk. See?

Do something.

Daddy's fainted.

I'll get some water.

Everybody stay calm.

What happened, Augie?

Who put out the lights?

No one confused, Father. You passed out cold.

Maybe you better get me a glass of water.

I got some water from the old in the ice.

Oh, this will make you feel better.

Dad doesn't. He didn't mean it, Dad. Please give him another chance.

Okay, okay.

Uh, how would you like a chance to play snowball?

Oh, boy, sure.

How do you play? It's easy.

First, you mix a puny duck and some snow together until you've got a snowball.

Oh, boy, this is swell.

Now, you've got to roll the snowball down a hill to start the game.

All of a sudden, I have a feeling it's going to snow.

one more game it's called the hundred mile slide well

first we get a good start like this then

soon away we go for a hundred miles

Didn't mean to hurt the little fella, Augie. Start a fire going, Dad.

His puny little body is frozen in the ice.

He'll be okay now. The ice is starting to melt. Please, Dad. Can't we take him

home with us? But, Augie, what do we do with him? He's so useless.

He may be useless, but he's clean.

That's for sure.

Hey, Dad.

What is it, Augie, my boy?

You were wrong, Dad.

That little duck isn't so useless after all. What do you mean, Augie?

Look.

After all, how many families have a genuine quack, quack clock in the house?

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, there goes quick-draw McGraw.

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals. The best to you each morning has brought

you quick-draw McGraw.

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, great big star on his chest.