Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Hey, Snoop, you want to see how my new fingerprint set works?

No, Blab, I want to see how you work.

Now get busy and straighten up this place.

It's a mess.

But, Snoop, I'm an assistant private eye.

Well, you can start assisting by dusting off those heaviest corpuscles.

Gee, I'm not important around here at all. I'm a mere serf. And when you're

finished, polish me handcuffs.

Straighten out the clue file, shine me badge, and scrub the floor.

Yes, Chief.

In the erstwhile, go get me a sandwich.

And on your way out, empty the garbage.

And fix that door.

I'll never be an important big shot like Snoop.

I guess I'll always be a nobody assistant.

The door is never open.

Mr. Snooper, I'm a scientist, and I need help.

Well, uh, shooting off rockets is out of my line, but I'll give you a match.

I'm being followed by international spies.

They're after this.

What in Tonkett would an international spy want with a peanut?

This is not just a plain peanut.

It's a highly concentrated explosive that could wreak havoc if disturbed in

any way.

Take it back. I'm allergic to wreaked havoc.

Guard it for me, and I'll pay you $30,000.

So, uh, what's a little havoc that's been wreaked? I'll take the case and the

money. Remember, the slightest jar could explode it. Be careful.

Here you are, Snoop. Your lunch is ready.

That's all I get for lunch.

Jumping grasshoppers, Blab. You just swallowed a dangerous explosive that'll

wring us all to havoc.

I did, Snoop? Don't move.

Relax. Take it easy.

Why, Snoop? Am I important now?

Well, insofar as blowing me to smithereens, I guess you can say you're

important. Well, what are you...

All of a sudden, I feel a surge of power.

Blab, what incarnation are you doing?

Get busy and clean up this office, Snoop.

Do my ears receive me? Or have you flipped your lid, Blab? I'm important

now, remember?

Start cleaning, or I'll jump off this cabinet.

Nothing doing, Blab.

Smitherini! Here I come.

Yikes!

Nice catch, assistant.

Now get to work.

Will there be anything else, your high importance majesty?

Well, you can feed me my lunch now.

What do you mean, your lunch? It's my lunch.

I'll just skip some rope and build up an appetite.

Here's the lunch, Blab. I don't look good in smithereens.

That was delicious, Snoop. Too bad there wasn't any lunch left for you.

Now repeat a thousand times.

Blab is important.

Snoop is a nothing.

Not on your life, Blab. I have me professional pride to think of.

Okay. You can think it over in Never Never Land.

So long, Snoop.

Out of the way, Blab. I just thought it over.

Blab is important.

Snoop is a nothing.

Blab is important.

Snoop is a nothing.

Blab is important.

Snoop is a nothing.

I think it's time to clean the office again, Snoop.

But, sir, I just cleaned it for the tenth time.

Well, once more, we'll make it an even dozen.

Get busy, slave.

That does it. You just broke the straw with a camel's back.

Careful. It's 84 stories to the street, Snoop. Who cares?

Jump. Bon voyage.

I'm not worried.

Snoop will save me.

He's down to the 50th floor, but I'm not budging.

Snoop won't let me down.

The 25th floor.

But I got me pride.

The tenth floor.

Snoop will be here in a second.

He's passing the fifth floor, but I'm not leaving.

Like heck I ain't. He's my pal.

I can't let him go kaboom.

I'll save you, your majesty.

Oh, important one.

Blab Detective Agency.

This is his unworthy assistant, Snoop, talking.

Oh, hello, Mr. Scientist. What's up?

You can forget about the bomb now, Mr. Snooper. It loses all its power after

two hours.

Oh, it does, eh?

Thanks, ever so largely.

Hmm, time was up a minute ago.

All right. All right, Blab, the game's over. Remove yourself from my desk, or

I'll pulverize your gut.

Flirting with disaster, huh?

Careful, or I'll hit myself with this paddle.

Allow me to assist you, lowly assistant.

Jumpin' Tomkits, I forgot.

Me watch is runnin' one minute fast.

Snap into it, Blab. Put up that wall.

Right, Snoop. Fix that cabinet.

Right, Snoop. Repair the ceiling.

Right, Snoop. And whilst you're at it, run out and get me some lunch. Right,

Snoop.

Anyway, for a while there, I was really living it up.

Augie, my son, how is your home weight coming along?

Not so good, dear old dad.

I'm afraid I'm going to need help.

And as usual, your helpful daddy will come to your intellectual rescue.

Thanks, thoughtful dad, but I won't need your help anymore.

And why not, may I ask?

Because I got Irving. And who is this Irving who's taken my place?

Irving is just about the smartest friend I have.

Smarter than your brainy dad?

I'm afraid so, brainy dad.

That height, Augie, that wounded me in the deep.

See you later, sensitive dad.

I gotta ask Irving something.

Wait, wait, Augie. I'm as smart as your friend Irving. Ask me something.

Okay, dad.

What is grass made of?

Grass? Grass is made of green stuff.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. Green stuff.

Irving is waiting, Dad.

So long.

To think that my boy would prefer an Irving to his own dad.

Not that I'm jealous, you understand, but I'd be less than a dad if I didn't

put this Irving in his place.

I hope I'm not late.

Aha! He's going into the Republic Library.

Now I'll see who this Irving is.

Oh, Irving, are you there?

It's me, your friend Augie.

Good morning, Augie. It is indeed a pleasure to see you again.

The pleasure is all mine, Irving. After all, you're the smartest bookworm in the

world. If you're referring to the tutoring I've given you with your

lessons, I assure you the effort was minuscule.

Oh, Augie, where are you, my educated offspring?

My good man, this is a library.

Can't you read?

Huh?

Q-Q-I-E-T.

So, who's smoking?

For your information, sir, the sign says, Q-U-I-E-T.

Quiet!

I'm sorry, madam.

I forgot to oil my feet this morning.

Let me have the head librarian, please.

Hello, Mr.

Rouser? Yes, this is Mr. Rouser.

You'd better come right away.

We have a real noisy one on the main floor.

I'll be right down, Miss Bookend.

I've gone up the history aisle and down the geography aisle, but there's no sign

of... Uh-oh, there's Zoggy in the philosophy aisle, and he's talking to

a...

Thanks for helping me with my homework, Irving. Tut, tut, Augie.

Only too glad to be of assistance.

How do you like that?

I've been replaced by a worm.

One side, Augie. I'm going to squish Irving out of vice place.

But, Dad, Irving is my friend.

You mean he was your friend?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

How intellectual offsprings can be the progeny of the MacBrain fathers is one

of the great scientific mysteries.

I'll squish him with this bicyclopedia.

I wouldn't try it, Dad.

Irving is too smart for you.

If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'm smarter than a wine.

Where did he go?

I don't see any squish marks.

This will hurt the book more than it does him.

Don't! My, aren't we noisy.

Ouch!

And funny too.

disturbance and out you go.

Good. These sonnets by Shakespeare should disturb him no end.

Yikes! It's an alphabetical avalanche.

Uh-oh.

Looks like I need another arm.

Don't allow paper bag lunches in the library.

Hand it over at once.

If you insist.

But I wouldn't open it if I were you.

So,

there you are, you squirmy

squirt.

I'll get you, you fugitive from a fishhook.

This ladder can roll faster than you can run.

Wait, Dad. That's public property.

The public can have it back any time, Augie.

Officer O'Toole reporting, Sergeant.

Throw a dragnet out.

A second-story man just stole a ladder from the library.

Morning, Oggy. Did you explain to the sergeant what happened?

Yes, dear old incarcerated dad, but he wouldn't believe it. So, uh, I brought

you a lawyer.

That's a lawyer?

Being a counselor at law is one of my numerous intellectual accomplishments.

And in my present predicament, who am I to argue with a worm?

The town of Laramie in the Old West.

And the early morning stillness is shattered by gunfire coming from the

bank.

It's another daring holdup by the Shadow Bandit. All right, you.

Give.

And another mysterious getaway.

ends at the foot of a sheer cliff leaving a perplexed and puzzled sheriff

where could he go sheriff don't ask me i'm perplexed and puzzled

guard

city again the shadow bandit strikes all right deal

And again, a mysterious getaway.

And perplexed and puzzled, too.

It was the same story in Abilene.

I'm perplexed and puzzled, too.

Wichita.

I'm perplexed and puzzled, and I'm quitting.

And in a dozen other towns.

We're all perplexed and puzzled.

It was then.

that the Slinkerton Detective Agency sent for the one and only Quickdraw

McGraw and his partner, Baba Louie.

Where do you think the Shadow Bandit will strike next, Quickdraw?

I figures he'll hit this town next.

How do you figure that, McGraw?

The pins on that map show the towns he's robbed.

They spell G-I-V-E.

Give Thunderation.

I hadn't noticed that.

He's got to come back and dot the I, which is this town.

In school, Quickstraw always got A's in spelling.

How are you going to keep from being perplexed and puzzled like the rest of

us, Quickstraw?

My dog, Snuffles, will catch him.

He don't look like much to me.

Oh, no?

He'll do anything for a dog biscuit.

Baba Louie, toss Snuffles a biscuit.

Right, Quickstraw, but I think you better stand back.

His snuffles catch.

He

sure

loves them dog biscuits.

Hey, Chief, the Shadow Bandit just robbed our little old bank.

Here's your chance, Quickdraw.

Catch that bandit and I'll give you a $10,000 reward.

Snuffles, go and fetch that bandit.

Not now, Snuffles. You can have a biscuit later.

Why, you cheap steak.

I'm grateful.

Hey, wait.

Wait for Quickdraw.

Whoa!

A shadowy horse!

Huh? He's the shadow bandit I seen.

Open sesame.

Close sesame.

Where out did he go, Baba Boy?

He went in that cave.

What cave?

Wait, I show you.

Open, uh, enchilada.

Open enchilada?

No, no, no, that's not it. Open cucaracha.

Open cucaracha?

You're plumb loco, Baba Boy.

I told you he's in there, Quickstraw.

Says who?

Says me.

Look, Quickstraw, it opened.

Your mysterious getaways are over, Shadow Bandit.

Go, Sesame!

Open, Mississippi!

Open, mustard plaster!

The magic words is open sesame, Quistra.

Go fetch him, Snuffles!

Okay,

here's your biscuit.

Catch a bandit.

You were looking for someone?

What's wrong with you, Snuffles? Go get him.

Uh-uh.

I'll give you a dog biscuit.

Uh-uh.

I'll give you two dog biscuits.

Uh-huh.

All right, make it three.

Catch.

Snuffles has put a finish to the Shadow Bandit's career.

Good work, Snuffles. You captured him.

Now for your reward.

Huh?

Sorry,

I'm out of dog biscuits.

But here's the $10,000 reward instead.

It's all yours.

What do you think of that, Snuffles?

Why, you know a cheapskate. I want money.

Money is in everything to snaffles, that's for sure.

your best choice in cereals the best to you each morning has brought you quick

draw mcgraw