Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Figurin' income tax would be a cinch if it wasn't for the arithmetic.

Let's see here.

4,333... ...timed by 756 and 1 half.

And I division that by the sum total of the deductible denominator of last

year's tax fiduciary. And I'm gettin' a headache.

Oh, Dad.

Yikes! Foggy!

Oh, yes, dear old dad.

How can I do any calculating here?

Would you hollering and yelling?

Yes, dear old under pressure parent.

If there's anything I can't stand, it's a fly.

Big noisy feet.

Gosh, I have to sneeze.

Gesundheit.

Now let me see here.

4,333 multiplication.

By the minus benefits on page three, which are also taxable on page four.

Oh, boy.

I'll get the wooden jackpot.

Early American writing desk, teakwood table, chair allaluy, the whole bit.

Well, what do you know?

It's a homeless, hungry, poor little orphan woodpecker.

That's right, Sonny.

And, uh, I think I'll stick around for, let's say, uh, 99 years or so.

Be my guest.

But you gotta be awful quiet.

My dad is very busy with his income tax.

Well, I'll have some dessert and, uh, we'll talk it over.

Hoggy? Uh-oh.

What did I say, son, about making noise?

Well, I was doing my nature study homework, Dad.

Making like a woodpecker.

See? Well, why not try making like a quiet, soft, fuzzy caterpillar instead?

Yes, Nervous Dad.

Now remember, woodpecker, you've got to be quiet.

Or my dear old dad will put you out.

I'll try.

But a guy's got to eat, you know.

with a beautiful piano.

And it's made of wood, too.

No, I won't do it. I will fight it.

I'll be strong.

I will not do it.

Lucky me.

I lost.

Augie, do my eyes perceive me?

Or is that a woodpecker where the piano used to be?

Excuse me, Pop.

You're excused, woodpecker. Now, stop, you mahogany-munching marauder.

Such manners.

Please don't hurt the woodpecker, Dad.

I won't, son.

I'll just ruffle his feathers a little bit.

Where did he go?

Watch that last step, Pop.

Dad? Yes, Soggy?

Promise not to hurt the woodpecker?

I won't, son.

I'll merely mash him slightly.

Uh-oh.

You chicken woodpecker, this fight's just started.

Look, Pop, I'm scared, I'm scared.

Aha! I got you surrounded.

And to think I was once a bite watcher.

I give up, Pop. You win.

Naturally, naturally.

And now I presume that you will beg for mercy.

Garage door at 12 o'clock.

This time you're a gone

goose of a dead duck of a woodpecker.

Mercy, Pop.

Please don't hurt me.

A wooden ladder.

Boy, this guy's asking for it.

All right, funny fellas.

Where are you? You?

Here I am. I'll be right up.

Uh-oh. That was a wooden ladder.

Dad, are you all right?

I will be, son, if I surrender, which I do.

Oh, boy.

Does that mean I can keep them for 99 years?

I don't want to, you know, wear out my welcome.

Maybe I can use him as a tax deductible.

Let's see. The expenditures here on Farm 12B are only deductible

if Farm 12B happens to be Farm 11C. Oops.

There goes another pencil point.

Okay, deductible.

Do your stuff.

Get the point?

After all, how many people can say they got a real live

woodpecker pencil sharpener in the house?

The cattle ranches of the Argentine were in every way similar to the ranches of

the Old West, except for the colorful costumes of its cowboys, or gauchos as

they are called.

Here we see a typical South American gaucho about to bring in a stray with

his bolo, which is the equivalent of the American cowboy's lariat.

You're wrong, senor.

I am?

Si, that is not a stray. It's a very valuable prize bull who is running away.

His name is El Scrubilito.

Is that true? Are you running away?

Si.

But why?

He's fun.

Excuse me, senor, but I must catch this Scrubolito.

But, sir. Yes?

Why is he called El Scrubilito?

You will see.

You see, senor?

He's a real screwball leader, all right.

Gauchos! Si.

Am I not downtown the biggest ranchero in all the pampas?

Si.

Are you not the bravest gauchos in all the pampas? Si.

Would you risk your lives for me, your beloved ranchero?

Si. Then who will volunteer to bring back El Scrubalito, my prize bull?

Cowards!

Pigeons! Oh, downtown.

Chickens! Oh, downtown.

Si. How will you catch El Scrubalito now?

Simple, senor. I will send for the world's greatest cowboy.

Quick, draw me craw.

At your service, downtown.

I've been even uptown. It makes no difference.

El Scrubalito is tricky, senor.

Do you know your way around the pampas? Do I know my way around the pampas?

Watch.

Call me Gaucho.

Oh, no.

Go ahead. Ask me anything.

I'll prove I know my way around.

Okay. What is a gaucho? A gaucho is one of the Marx Brothers.

What is the Andes?

It's the other half of Amos And.

What is a bolo?

It's something you keep goldfish in, like bolo goldfish.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Let's face it, you're stuck with me.

He's sad, but I think that's true.

Bring back El Scrubalito, and I will reward you handsomely. I'll bring him

back. For my name ain't Quickdraw, handsomely McGraw.

Keep your peels eyed, Bubba. If you see a bull, report to me.

Hop in.

Always glad to give a feller a lift.

Hey, Quickstraw?

Yeah, Bubba?

I think I see a bull.

Where?

I don't see nothing.

Look,

Quickstraw. It's Grubalito.

Oh, Smart Alec himself.

Stand back and watch me pound...

twice in the same place?

Watch this.

Which way did you say he went?

That's what I thought. Thanks, stranger.

You see what I means?

Here, Toro, Toro, Toro.

But Quickstraw, I don't think you know anything about bullfighting.

That's pretty smart.

Come on, Toro. Come and get your lumps.

Quick, Straw.

Say something.

What's there to say except ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

What's the big idea, Quicks Draws? Simple.

Fight horns with horns.

Watch me plaster El Scrooge all over the pompous.

Uh-oh.

When the chips are down, he goes all to pieces.

But I like him.

Here we are at Madison Round Garden, where the annual dog show is taking

place. It's a very exciting moment. The judges have arrived at their decision

and are about to name the winner.

sportsmanship pleasure to announce the winner of the annual K-9 full-blooded

blue ribbon special, Mademoiselle Fru-Fru!

Oh, I am so happy!

My beautiful Fru-Fru has won the big silver cup!

I am so happy, so happy, happy, happy!

Well, grab it, Mac!

It's heavy, you know!

Fru-Fru, mon petit!

Look at the cup of the first prize you have won.

Is she not exquisite?

Fru-fru!

Help!

Help! Assistance!

My Fru-fru has run away!

Help! Help!

Relax, monsieur.

We know who will get her back.

None other than Super Snooper, the world's greatest private eye.

Oh, Jean Don Snooper.

thousand dollars for that kind of money i'll bring back a saint bernard dog

deputy first.

Well, monsieur, I am ready.

In the name of the Private Eye Institute, I now pronounce you special

deputy. In the name of the Private Eye Institute, I accept.

Swearing a deputy in is a solemn ceremony.

It always brings tears to my eyes.

And so this Threesome sets out to find the

missing blue ribbon champion, Mademoiselle Foo-Foo.

What's up, toot-sweet?

A great big kiss!

No! Never!

Help! Help!

Unhand that poodle, you bully of a bulldog!

To the battle!

Charge!

What's your trouble, pal?

who's going to pull the old fur around a neck gag.

Watch. And here it comes now.

Pardon me, madam, but you've been misled.

That's not a fur piece you're wearing, but a missing poodle who is portraying a

hoax.

Why, you fur snatcher, take that.

Thank you very much, madam.

I'll bet you think I'm going to scream in sheer terror.

Well, you're right.

Yes, ma'am. I got it. You want us to find your lost dog, which you can't

find. I'll put my missing dog operative on the case right away.

Don't sweat.

It's a canine.

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, there goes Quick Draw McGraw.

Kellogg's, your best choice in cereals. The best to you each morning has brought

you Quick Draw McGraw.

Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay, galloping all the way, brain base are on his chest.