Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

This is the Roaring Splinter Lumber Camp.

The roughest, toughest spot in the Old Northwest.

Where a man's measure was tested by his ability to take it. There was no room

for the squeamish here.

I'm looking for work.

What's your name?

Sam Squeamish. Sorry, like the man said, there's no room here for the

squeamish.

Only the rugged were welcome at the Roaring Splinter.

What's your name?

Ronald Rugged? What else?

You're hired!

You are about to witness another of the mysterious accidents which befell the

camp of recent date.

Hurrah! The shipment's ready.

Wow, what do you know? Another one of those mysterious accidents which has

befallen our camp of recent days.

This is the office of Peachy Blossom, whose father left her the Roaring

Splinter. And here is Peachy, typical, helpless, lonely lumber queen.

But, sir, the shipment of wooden nickels we promised you was stopped by one of

our mysterious accidents which has befallen our camp of recent date.

There goes another customer.

Oh, how can I stop these mysterious accidents?

Oh, Miss Blossom. Yes?

Perhaps that card which came with the mail might help you.

You mean this one?

Quickdraw McGraw. Have Axe Will Travel.

I'll write to him right away.

Perhaps he will help me.

Dear Quickdraw, I need your help badly.

Signed, Peachy Blossom. T-H-L-L-Q.

Say, Quickdraw, what means T-H-L-L-Q?

That should be oblivious, buh-buh-buh-wee.

It means typical...

That's what I thin it meant.

Well, I thin we better get going.

We got an axe to grind.

Right, Quickstraw.

Quick to answer a call for help, Quickstraw and Baba Louie hasten to the

Roaring Splinter Lumber Camp.

Oh, you poor man.

You must be the latest victim of the mysterious...

Mr. McGraw. Always he looks like that.

Oh, you poor man.

Your worries are over, Miss Peachy.

I come to help you out of your predicament.

Do you know who's behind these mysterious accidents?

Why, sure. It's your butler.

Butlers are always guilty.

But I haven't got a butler. I got a foreman.

Why, sure. It's your foreman. Foremen are always guilty.

quick draw.

Yes. Are you sure you weren't in an accident?

Yep. That's my real face.

And don't you forget it.

Intending to work from undercover, early next day, the boys apply for work as

lumberjacks. So you're lumberjacks.

We're the lumbering jacks you ever saw.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how do you chop a tree?

I chops it down.

What do you holler? when a tree falls.

A holler's ouch if it falls on the foot.

Where does sawdust come from?

From a dusty saw.

Where do we get wood pulp?

From a young tree when it's just a pulp.

Yuck, yuck.

Okay, so you passed the lumberjack test.

But I ain't hiring no lumberjacks today.

Being a villain-type foreman, I don't want any smart guys around here.

interfering in the mysterious accidents which have befallen.

Oh, yeah?

Well, get ready to grovel like the yellow thieving polecat that you are.

I'm Quickdraw McGraw.

Quickdraw McGraw?

I never heard of you. So why should I grovel like the yellow thieving polecat

that I am?

Hmm.

That there's a good question. But I'll think of something.

here, Bubba Boy.

Make like a couple of bumps on a log.

I'll just light this dynamite fuse, and then I'll give him a free ride.

Lumberjack style.

All aboard!

Stop that cowardly trembling, Bubba. I can hear your knees knocking.

I don't think it's me trembling, Quakestraw.

Well, something's trembling.

He's a runaway train quick straw.

Jump! I'll rescue meself by snagging that branch western style.

Here goes!

I made it!

Pretty slick, if I do say so myself.

I won't need this anymore.

Here in the Explorers Club, a momentous occasion in the history of civilization

is taking place.

Famous explorers from the world over are about to witness an important experiment

by the renowned Professor Schlumb.

Gentlemen, as you know, we have captured Gubba Gubba, a genuine wild man

from the deepest jungle.

And before he gets any wilder...

I am going to civilize him single-handed.

Please to open the cage door.

Down, gubber. Down, boy.

Put me down this instant.

Or it gives no french-eyed bananas for supper.

And now we will start our experiment.

Here is a banana, gubber.

Now for our second experiment.

I will show Gubba Gubba my watch.

Do you hear the tick-tocking, Gubba?

We will now let Gubba Gubba see civilization

for the first time.

Don't be scared of the noises, Gubba. Out there is civilization.

Hasn't called us once.

Hazel to Snoop. Hazel to Snoop. Come in, Snoop. Come in, Snoop. Snoop to Hazel.

Snoop to Etcetera. Uh, go ahead, Etcetera.

Hey, Chief, this is Hazel. What's his Etcetera stuff?

Etcetera is Latin for telephone gal.

Go to the Explorer's Club at once, Chief. A wild man's escape. There's a

$10,000 reward for his capture.

Right, Hazel. I'm on the way.

Make with the siren, Blab.

You say he escaped through this window?

Yeah. Click as a flash, he was gone.

I don't see no wild man, Snoop. Only that nice-looking TV repairman on the

next roof.

Eureka, Blam. I think you've spotted our quandary.

What am I supposed to do with this fiddle, Snoop?

Elemental, maestro.

Music soothes the savage beast.

So, go over and soothe Gubba Gubba into a pair of handcuffs.

I'll play humor-esque. Maybe it'll humor him.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Snoop. Yeah, Blab?

It's a good thing I wasn't playing a piano.

Staff, in the name of the law.

After him, Blab. We got him cornered now.

There's no place to go except down...

gubba gubba. See what I got? It's fire.

You are paralyzed with ignoramus fear.

figure this gubba gubba is kind of lonesome. So when he sees you, he'll

come running.

And I lead him into your clutches.

Right. Now make like a wild man.

professor. Blab just rhymed through dry.

on me brilliant escutcheon.

Look, Snoop.

Holy mackerel, you're right.

Hey, Gubba Gubba, what in Turkey are you doing?

We thought you was in orbit.

No, Feathers.

I drifted down.

Gubba Gubba? And she captured me. Did you finish the log?

It's Eloise, my mate. And here come the triplets.

So long, fellas.

I gotta go now.

Isn't it great what civilization has done for gubba gubba blab?

Sure is. Nope.

Don't let the children get dirty.

Yes, dear. And pick up the groceries.

Yes, dear.

And blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yes, dear.

Yes, dear.

Yes.

Ah, Snagglepuss, tis dawn again.

And with the dawn, a new day.

And what's this?

With the new day comes the artist to wreak artistic havoc with his brushes.

Tell me, will it make you shoulder if I look over your nervous?

Ah, but you're done.

And even now, your artistic gem is hung aloft for all to see.

Heavens to Murgatroyd, hunting season opens today.

The dawn, the day, the artist, and now the hunters.

So, exit stage left.

I must seek refuge ere I fall prey to the hunters.

and the bullets even and there's a refuge if ever i saw one and i do oh i

do hoggy my favorite and only son if we're going hunting

let's get started come on dear old dad coming

somebody's at the door dad come in

somebody greetings From me to you.

It's some mountain lion.

Hold it. Hold it.

What are you trying to do?

Lose your hunting license?

But hunting season opened ten minutes ago.

Where, friend?

I have not been so informed.

Well, there's signs outside all over the place.

Precisely. Then it follows like night to day that hunting is allowed outside.

Not in here, my friend.

You mean I can't shoot you while you're indoors?

The law clearly states it's illegal to hunt eagle with beagle or keep trying to

hunt lion unless it's outdoors to wit and whereas to wit to woo to wit.

What do we do, dear frustrated dad?

We'll try to get him outside and then blammo!

Nice place you got here.

I'll just take a little nap and smoothen out the wrinkled lines of care.

When I light this smudge pot, you'll think there's a fire and run outside.

You're ingenious, dear old dad.

Smoke! Smoke!

Run outside for your life.

Especially mountain lions.

Worry not, my friend.

The conflagration will soon be reduced to a wet sizzle.

What now, cagey dad?

Hockey boy, when a lion is stubborn, you gotta...

That's your point.

Uh-oh, a bit of mischief afoot.

I know a mountain lion that's gonna make a fast exit stage left.

Nails we have an abundance, and a hammer even.

wrong, Mr.

Lyon. Why?

Are you going out?

Nope. You are.

I are?

I guess you aren't.

There must be something wrong at the other end.

Are you okay, Dad?

Certainly. I'm just taking a short nap to smoothen out the wrinkles.

What is it?

Inventor father of mine?

It's my super jet armchair.

When that smart-aleck lion sits in this out-of-this-world ottoman, whoosh, he's

out of the house.

There's nothing too good for our guests, I always say.

Have a comfortable seat, mountain lion.

But I couldn't take it. But I insist you take it. No, no, no.

You take it. You take it. You take it. After you? No, after you.

I'll take it. I'll take it. No, I'll take it. Whose house is this anyway?

I'll take it.

Help! Augie!

All right, mountain lion, let's try that again.

Only this time, you go first.

As you say, mine host.

I'll take it.

Oh, no, you don't.

I'll take it.

Poor mixed-up dad.

Anyway, there's no truck this time.

How droll.

I thought this old family album was a comic book.

He sounds happy, Dad.

And this ought to give him a hydraulic lift.

One yank on the lever, and up she goes.

Here's a pip.

Pop, there's a pip squeak.

Heavens to Murgatroyd. Suddenly, I'm smack in the middle of the great

outdoors. And suddenly, you're gonna get it smack in the middle of...

You did it, Dad.

He's gone.

Now we can go hunting.

Not for me, son.

All I want to do is sit down in a nice comfy chair.

No, Dad.

Now we pelt this.

How fortunate. A friendly motorist approacheth.

Driver, drop me off at the Lions Club. It's on your way.

All I can say is, heavens to Megatron.

Your best choice in cereals. The best to you each morning has brought you Quick

Draw McGraw.