Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Here we are, Baba Louie!

Mild Bill's Wild West Show!

Why do Mild Bill want to see us?

Search me!

Let's go in and ask.

You sent for me, Mild Bill?

Right, Quitoir. I need a new act for my Mild Bill Wild West Show.

Thanks a heap, Mild Bill. I'm sure I can help you.

I'll start the act with some bird calls.

First... My yellow-feathered thrush.

Uh, that's fine, but, uh... Next, an exhibition of fancy gunwork.

Up she goes!

And down she goes!

Right smack back into the holster!

Yow!

Ooh, that smarts. That's a mighty novel act, Quitois.

But this is the attraction I'm after.

Why, it's a little bitty horse critter.

To be more specific, it's a four-grown midget wild horse.

Can you get him for me?

Where will we find him?

In Widow Horse Canyon, of course.

It figures.

I'll do it, Mild Bill, but it'll cost you plenty.

Name your price.

A season's pass to the Mild Bill Wild West Show.

It's a deal, quick draw.

by tonight's show.

Good luck. Here we are,

Bubba. Little Horse Canyon.

Population, one little horse.

Hey, look, Quickstraw. There is the whole population.

I didn't forget your reward.

Here's your box of dog biscuits.

Eat them and good health.

Uh-oh. The box must be empty, Quickstraw.

Introducing the world's smallest horse.

Uh-oh. That mild bill is going to be a wild...

Bobo!

Hold it, Blab. You walked in backwards.

I'm sorry, Snoop. Should I try again?

Never mind. You already ruined me classy opening.

Today, we have a fascinating story for you in the case of the Purrloin Parrot,

which I'm certain you'll find, uh, fascinating.

Purrloin means stolen, in case you flunked English.

Our fascinating story begins in a fascinating old mansion.

Home of abode of Captain Sam Scuttle.

Retired pirate.

Leave us draw thieves on, Sam, and listen to what's going on.

Alfie, we've battened down the hatches on our pirating days for good.

Right you are, Governor. And from now on, it's clear sailing ahead as blooming

landlubbers. Right. And now I loves it.

But remember, Mighty, Only you and I know where the treasure is buried.

Belay your fears, Governor.

No one will ever find out from me.

It's Polly wants a cracker here and Polly wants a cracker there.

And outside of that, I'm as mum as a booming stuffed barracuda.

You'll talk me further, bucko. Or my name ain't Barnacle Bells.

Snuffer Detective Agency, Snuff speaking.

You saying your parrot's been bird-napped? And you'll pay me a

thousand pieces of eight if I find them?

Throw in a few whole eights, and I'll be right over.

Sounds like a 603, Snoop. Yeah, Blab. A retired pirate's stolen parrot.

Leave us go.

Say, Snoop, why does Sam Scuttle want his parrot back so bad?

Because Alfie knows where the treasure is buried.

And if he talks, it's back to piracy and the ICs for Sam Scuttle.

Then it's me bound in main duty to find Alfie and keep you walking the straight

and narrow plank.

Snoop has a soft spot for pirates.

Can you tell me, uh, whom done it? It was Barnacle Builds, me scurvy second

mate. I found this barnacle outside me port window.

How are we gonna find Barnacle Builds, Snoop?

Elementary school, my dear Blab. We follow the trail of particles.

Gosh, Snoop. The trail led us straight to the docks.

And just in a knick-knack of time, Blab. Look.

You better talk with fine-feathered friend or you'll walk the plank.

Okay, I'll talk.

Bally wants a cracker. Bally wants a cracker. Bally wants a cracker. Stop

that blasted record.

And plank the... That parrot, Barnacle Bill.

Blimey, I knew good old Sam would send someone to save me.

Well, you ain't saved yet, so start walking.

Right-o, Governor.

Oh,

he's a blooming acrobat, he is.

Ahoy, mates. How's me shipmate, Captain Sam Scuttle?

He's a bit of all right, he is.

A good private eye has to speak several languages.

Oh, Sister Bob, the whole blooming lot of you.

Off they go, mate, while I show Bonnacle Bill's the ropes around here.

The pirate's pride has been hurt by a blinking parrot.

Come on, Alfie, whilst I still have time to save you.

Off they go more, mate, whilst I put this screwball in the side...

Will you please let us save you, Alfie?

Not till he tells me where the blinkin' treasure is, or I'll blast the bloater

with me bloomin' pistol.

Ow, Governor, your bloomin' pistol is full of water.

Blimey, it is.

Stop!

Blimey! What's cooking?

Happy birthday, Bilge.

Gosh, I love birthdays, Mr. Bilge. Are we going to play games?

Right, Mickey.

And I knows a swell one.

Blab, what are you doing up there?

Do I have to save you too?

And the way to do it is to get Alfie to talk, or its anchors away, you might

say. I'd appreciate it, Snoop. I can't swim.

Get off, you swabs. I don't want to be saved.

You better come down, because I know someone who does.

Where's the treasure, Alfie? Talk, or I dunk them like a bloomin' doughnut.

You win, Governor. The treasure is on Goonie Island.

And make it snappy.

Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.

Here's where me precious treasure is buried.

Start digging, you slobbers.

At last, I'm going to live like a blooming duke, sipping me tea out of a

golden saucer.

Hey, fellas, all we could find is this bean up all backs.

Blimey, it's the treasure chest.

Gosh, Snoop, look at that.

It's full of crackers.

Crackers? You were expecting maybe pieces of eight.

You know how it is, Governor.

Polly wants a cracker. Polly wants a cracker. Polly wants a cracker.

Don't look so disappointed, Vance.

Crackers are swell with tea.

Yeah, you can have them, mate.

Snoop really usually says, this time.

Uh, you can say that again.

After a hard day, there's nothing like the newspaper, television, and...

Now, what's Augie up to?

Augie? Yes, dear old dad?

How can I relax with that racket going on out there?

I'm talking to my friend Boinka Boinka. Boinka Boinka? Are you speaking up for

Slovenian? or lower slovenian neither dad it's pure outer space martian

these kids with their electronics for imagination

be

glad to be right over

dad dear old dad yes my favorite son my friend boinka wants me to baby Let me

sit for him. You're certainly not gonna let your friend down.

Especially when he's from Upper Slovenia.

No, Dad.

He's from outer space.

Here he comes now.

These kids and their imaginations.

Whatever it is, he must be driving up in an ink beater.

That's my boy who just went by there.

Boinka, Boinka.

Glad to see you.

Likewise,

I'm sure.

What a cute kid.

Then I'm afraid to ask the question, what have you got there?

Well, like I said, Skeptical Dad, it's a real Martian baby.

Oh, sure, sure.

Let's have a look at the little fella.

It couldn't be Halloween so soon.

Well, like I said, Dad, he's from outer space.

What will the neighbors say?

Isn't he cute?

What can I say?

After all, how many fathers have a boy that's an interplanetary babysitter?

Then Snow White said to the seven dwarves, she said, she said...

What happened to the babysitter?

Hold it, you fugitive from the Big Dipper.

Never mind that bonka bonka. When I say hit the hay, I mean hit the hay.

How about that?

The babysitter's sound asleep.

Ain't that just like kids, folks?

They start something and the parents have to finish it.

Are you out again?

Wait a minute.

I said now wait a minute.

Bunker, bunker.

Just where do you think you're going?

Better yet, where do I think I'm going?

I'm glad Augie didn't start an outer space nursery school.

Now stay put or you'll get spanker, spanker. Now good night.

Kids are all alike.

Except those from outer space.

Jump in, Jupiter.

Hey, come back. Come back here, sonny.

The neighbor's dog will chomp you into Martian mincemeat.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid to look.

Sorry to do this, son, but I have to shut you in like a Martian clan.

Now try to go beddy-bye.

Will eight o'clock never come?

Oh, no!

Stop there, you misguided missile!

Stop! Come back here, you Martian mosquito!

Shall we have another waltz, or shall we sit this one out?

I'm sorry, officer.

I was chasing a flying saucer with a Martian baby in it.

Martians, is it now?

And me thinking it was leprechaun season.

Look, there he is.

I gotta catch a kid.

Hello, Sergeant.

About that policeman's triple retirement plan.

I'm ready, ready, ready.

It's Boinka Boinka.

It must be 8 o'clock.

Somebody on Jupiter needs a babysitter? Oh, boy!

Thanks, Boinka.

There's something wrong, Dad.

I can't contact Jupiter.

Maybe there's nobody home, Loggie boy.

Sometimes for a boy's own good, a parent's got to pull a few wires.

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