Original subtitles

Feast your eyes on these great films from the Disney Studios.

The year is 1931, and gangster Snaps Provolone is in control.

The police are powerless.

His rivals are helpless.

No one in the entire city dares to defy him. Except his daughter.

I'm a modern 30s woman.

Look! Put that away. I'm your father.

She'll do anything.

Anywhere. With anybody.

Your daughter and I are lovers.

What? Did he tell you I was pregnant?

What? Touchstone Pictures presents Sylvester Stallone in the story of a

father What we need is a husband.

trying to find someone No, look at us. who will marry his daughter. I've

decided to go away to a convent.

Well, you're a little late.

Maybe it'll be Anthony.

But I love Thornton! Or Thornton. I want Oscar!

Or Oscar.

Who's Oscar? You've got pimples!

Couple of dates with you and that'll clear up. But whoever she decides to

spend her life with... You mean she's having the chauffeur's baby?

...is sure to ruin his life. I just came from Lisa's bedroom.

You and everybody else.

Sylvester Stallone.

Oscar.

My dearest Stacy You are my favorite niece, and I love you

dearly I know I promised to leave the Orpington jewels to you But after much

thought I have decided instead To donate them to the thringsby museum for the

whole world to enjoy someday

i hope you will find it in your heart to forgive the whims of a foolish old woman

your loving aunt eustacia

you

and next we come to the most cherished exhibit in the entire museum the

priceless orpington bequest gift of dame eustacia orpington

and soon to be on loan to the prestigious london museum

There you are.

Mr. Tringsby's been looking all over for you.

Well, don't tell him where I am just yet, okay?

What's going on? Mother's quarrel?

Linda? I hear there's a pool in the gift shop to see how long it'll take him to

pop the question.

Well, they can save their money.

When Gordon sees this article in the paper, he's gonna kill me.

Hey, buddy.

Dirt.

There.

On the floor?

Clean it up.

Well, it's been nice working with you.

Ah, I see you've read the papers.

Gordon, I'm so sorry. When I was talking to that reporter about the exhibition, I

just thought it was an innocent conversation.

Of course you did.

That's why you gave him everything but the flight number in your hotel room in

London.

Mother was most displeased.

Gordon, can't we hire a security company to transport the jewels?

No, no, no, no, no. Hiring a courier would only call attention to them. I

can't do this by myself.

Stacy, relax.

Everything has been perfectly planned. I'm personally taking care of it this

afternoon.

What are you doing there? Would you give it to me?

Okay, you ask for it. Take that!

It's mine!

My dear, would you please?

Your security worries are over.

Gordon, that's a hat box.

I know. Sometimes I amaze myself.

This is the perfect way to transport jewels.

Each one fits in its own pocket.

But it's still a hat box.

I even have Velcro closures put over each one, so if it tips over, nothing

falls out.

See?

You're impressed, right?

Where is the steel reinforced briefcase with the combination lock?

Gordon, what are you trying to do to me?

Casey, get a hold of yourself.

There. There, silly.

Nobody will think you're carrying anything valuable in a dumb old hat box.

I mean, lots of people carry hat boxes. Only in Doris Day movies.

Still, I can't help wondering what your life might have been like if your Aunt

Eustacia had left them to you.

I mean, just think.

The stone from that one empty setting set you up for life.

When I was little, I dreamt about wearing them to a fence. I've seen them

all at the White House.

What would I do with them now?

Wear them to the laundromat?

Regardless,

you look better in them than she ever did.

Thank goodness you didn't inherit her looks.

There.

Finished.

Hungry, darling?

Here they come now. This is going to be like taking candy from a baby.

You know what to do.

Hope you enjoyed your meal, Mr. Thrinsky. And you have a safe flight,

Miss Orpington.

Now, what are you worried about?

If the exhibition's on Monday, why can't I just go over on Sunday?

I'd represent Drinksby Museum on a couple hours sleep. No, no, no, darling.

You arrive on Friday. Put the jewels in the hotel safe, then deliver them to the

exhibition on Monday. Alert.

Prepared.

And lovely.

Anyway, don't you have relatives in London you could visit?

Cousin, I think.

i couldn't tell you his name caused quite an uproar in the family when dear

old uncle blaine dropped dead and dear old aunt eustacia grabbed the jewels and

headed back home to thringsby still might be nice to have your own local

tour guide i wouldn't know him from adam stacy there's there's something i

need to talk to you about gordon this

Kind of things never happened to me before.

Can we talk about this when I get back from London? No, I'm afraid it can't

wait. Your check, sir.

Gordon, please.

It's just that I left my wallet in the car.

Could you pick this one up?

Aren't you excited?

I know what we'll do.

Let me buy you something from Duty Free.

Here.

Your attention, please.

Will Miss Davidson please meet your party at the information desk on the

second level?

boxes didn't i tell you hat boxes are in louise i got your doll hey my

feet come back i'm throwing georgette on the runway stop it come back hey hey hey

hey hey you two where do you think you're going i tell what you did with

the super glue only tranquilizer darts to stop those two brats you know that's

a brilliant idea trouble is i might uh hurt an innocent bystander

I miss my flight. This can't wait.

You know how I feel about you.

Well, this isn't the way I wanted to spring it on you, but... What?

Stacy Orbington, will you marry me? Make me the happiest man in the world.

This rings only temporary.

Mother has one at home in the vault there.

Knock your eyes out.

Shh, shh, shh. Don't say anything yet. Just think about it.

Flight 341 to London is now available for pre-boarding at gate 7.

Go on! Push her!

Push her!

I'm sorry. I've tried checking them in his baggage, but evidently there are

laws against that sort of thing.

Chapeau? Excuse me? She's French.

She wants to know if you have a hat in there.

I know how to say it.

Man is for my doll.

Do you have one too?

No. Leave the nice lady alone, okay? Or I'll have you both strapped to the

wings. Sorry again, Miss... Uh, Orpington, Stacey Orpington.

Alistair Lord, how do you do? This is Marvin Birnbaum.

Hello.

Countess Eloise Dubois.

He's not my dad.

Happily. I'm their chaperone. It's my current occupation.

Ferrying children back and forward across the Atlantic. You know, whenever

Mummy and Daddy want them shipped off to relatives or they're expelled from the

country for reasons of national security.

How was I supposed to know it was loaded?

Nice kid.

The pay is low, but I have this great love for children.

And frequent flyer miles.

Look!

Hijackers! What's he talking about? Where?

I will not go on a plane... is hijackers, Mr. Lord.

My grandma will not allow it.

Eloise, they're not hijackers. Do you know it's against the law to say that

sort of thing in an airport?

It's just a policeman extraditing a prisoner.

What do you think he did?

Probably murdered somebody, I bet.

I'm gonna go ask. Marvin, if you do, it will be your very last inquiry.

But I want... No!

Stay.

Passengers traveling with small children or needing special assistance may board

the aircraft at this time.

That's us my little darlings

Lady

you're gonna use both those sugars.

No, just one.

Can I have the other one? I collect them Marvin. It's alright, you know when I

was little I used to collect matchbooks. Yeah

Me too, but they took him all the way to the last school I was at. Yeah, and the

world's a safer place because of him.

It's not like the whole building burnt down.

Hey, I read this one. Oh yeah?

The main did it.

Thanks.

I'll show you my doll now, if you like.

Eloise.

It's alright.

She's adorable.

May Georgette play with your doll?

No!

Maybe later, sweetheart.

Let's just look at yours for now, okay?

Oui, later.

Now, this is Georgette. She is my best friend.

What's that supposed to be I'm so glad you asked it's an Arabic door up Kezia

Which is a sock

You mean there's supposed to be two of those?

That is my plan.

Would either of you ladies care for some refreshments?

A cup of china tea would be nice.

Yeah, but champagne would be quicker.

Oh, Miss Georgette, you're looking lovely.

Shall we go to the dance?

I hope the prince will be there.

Eloise, where did you get those?

You keep them back right now.

No, we are going to the dance.

They're mine.

Yours? Really?

I'm terribly sorry. I had no idea.

No.

I seriously doubt if this is what she meant.

Let's just put them all back quickly, please.

Wow.

Are those rocks real?

Oh. You ought to have a lock on them.

Anybody could open them right up.

Marvin, your passion for sitting in the office fairly takes my breath away.

I'm terribly sorry. If there's anything I can do to make... No, forget it. Just

drop it. Forget it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just please sit down. Can I have a tissue shake like

you, Louise?

We'd like to welcome you to London's Heathrow Airport.

We hope your flight has been a pleasant one.

Miss Horvington, I was just wondering, I'm staying at Marvin's parents' flat.

It's a 27 Cheney walk, and I wondered if you wanted to come and have supper with

us tonight? Thanks, I'd love to.

I do beg your pardon.

You all right? Yes, I'm fine, but... Where's my hat box?

All right.

That could be... Which one is

the... Why, that.

That is mine.

Thanks so much.

I... Um...

Are you sure this one's working?

Oh, yes. Don't worry. I saw exactly what happened. You're not injured, are you?

No.

False alarm.

Help with the bags, miss?

No!

Taxi!

Absolutely. No problem at all.

Okay, bye.

Why does this always happen to me?

What's wrong, big guy?

That was... So what do you think you're doing?

I don't know. Maybe I'll turn him into a Zoltan death ray.

Do your parents know you have a knife?

I can't have matches, Mr. Lord.

My dad didn't say anything about knives.

Brilliant.

Well, it seems your dear old dad's been sent to some undisclosed location north

of the Arctic Circle by the Pentagon or some such nonsense.

So that means I have the pleasure of your company for another fun-filled

week. All right!

Now we'll have time to work on your detective skills.

Marvin, please. Hey, man, it's no problem.

What we need is a real juicy murder.

Don't tempt me.

As for you, it seems your grandmama's off following her racehorses. Well, ask

her housekeeper where exactly. She said France.

I got it!

I have to see Mr.

Lord. Where is he?

Hey, lady.

I gotta tell you, guys don't like pushy girls.

Hey, Al.

It's the jewelry lady.

Hi. This won't take a minute. Oh, don't worry.

Eloise! Sorry about that.

This won't take up much time, but there's been a terrible mix-up!

Eloise! Toot-sweet!

Now!

Eloise!

Open this door!

No! I will not go to jail!

No one is sending you to jail... yet.

It's okay, Eloise.

This lady has your doll and she wants to give her back, that's all.

Sure shit.

Where is it?

Here it is!

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, no.

The sock.

I'm dead.

Oh, sure shit.

You know, practically the whole plane saw the jewels, too.

I bet anybody could have taken that. Marvin. She said I'd get play with it

later.

I did not mean any harm. It's all right, sweetheart.

Wow. This could be our first case.

It's not murder, but... Case? Marvin.

Yeah, Al here is practically a private... Yeah, a private moment with

you, Marvin. No, I think her guest is refreshing.

Listen, Al. Marvin, don't call me Al. My friends call me Alistair. You hardly

call me Mr. Unheard.

Fine, you don't want to be a PI?

No skin off my nose.

All right, where did you go?

Okay, her name is Mrs.

Donaldson. I saw her on her boarding pass and... What?

Her who?

Am I going too fast for you, Al?

The grandma with the knitting.

I thought she looked suspicious.

We better get over there before she skips town.

Yes, sir. The old three-way switch.

The shell game.

Now you see it, now you don't.

Marvin, get over where? To the Royal Hotel.

That's where she's staying. I heard her talking to the model on the plane. This

does provide an unprecedented opportunity for a real chance. Yeah, she

is a looker.

No, that's not what I meant.

You just leave this to me. Come on.

All right, here we are.

How's everybody doing?

Very well.

Nothing is missing.

All are closer here. Great.

Right, here's what we do.

I happen to know that Mrs. Donaldson, that's the lady whose hatbox we've got

here, is staying at the Royal Hotel.

I'll take you around there myself.

No, thank you.

You've done quite enough already.

I'll let myself out. No, really, I insist.

But really, it's no trouble.

It's not necessary.

But it's the very least I can do.

I don't need any help.

Taxi! Here,

give me that.

Oh, how kind.

Thank you. It's my pleasure.

Royal Hotel, please.

My sock!

Miss Orbiton here had little Eloise's hatbox after that mix-up at the airport,

and Eloise had yours, so obviously you must have... Not mine!

My dear, what on earth possessed you to take such a valuable cargo in a hatbox?

It was Gordon's idea.

Who's Gordon?

He's... he's sort of my boyfriend and my boss at the museum I work for. He was

with me at the airport in Boston, remember?

That guy?

The jewels are supposed to be in an exhibition this coming Monday.

You see, the museum operates on a pretty tight budget, and with the expense of an

overseas courier service, plus all the insurance, well, Gordon said it would be

easier if... No, that's not it. Just cheaper if I delivered the jewels

myself.

Do you mean they're not even insured?

No. If you want my opinion.

If this Gordon fellow had half a brain, it'd be lonely.

Well, at least we know who this belongs to.

The stories!

Let's go!

I'm coming with you.

Make sure she gets it back safely.

Hey, Al, this is the address on the luggage tag.

I can read, Marvin.

Ah, this is it.

Laura Smith.

Listen,

you guys, thanks for bringing me here. You might as well take off.

Forget it.

From what I've seen, you need all the help you can get.

Why don't we just go in?

Because it's locked.

Matt Bean can open it.

Can't you, Matt Bean?

No sweat.

These kind of doors are easy.

Robin, come on. That old trick only works in the movies, okay?

Am I the only one here who minds that we're breaking and entering?

I'm with you there, my dear.

Yeah, come on, Marvin. You heard me, okay?

Hello. We do not have all day.

Well...

I

don't like the look of this.

Yeah, the woman's a slob. Marvin.

What'd I say?

Forgive me for being a killjoy, but don't you think we should get the little

ones out of here?

Don't worry about us, lady. We'll be fine. Come on, Eloise.

Good man said.

Nothing to worry about.

Ow! We'll yell if we find anything interesting.

What's the matter with you two?

Look!

The late Miss Lola Smith.

Is she dead?

Either that or it's the worst case of jet lag I've ever seen.

She is like my goldfish.

When you are dead, you go to heaven.

That may not apply in this case.

Well, she's kind of big to flush down the toilet.

A happy thought, Marvin, as so many of yours are.

Thanks, Al.

What on earth do you think you're doing?

Give it to me.

Come on, Al!

My good things collection.

I feel sick.

Hey, lady, don't throw up in here.

We can't leave any evidence behind.

Marvin, Eloise, why don't you take Mrs. Donaldson outside?

I think I'd like that very much.

Go on. Yes. I want to stay and look for clues.

Okay, let's give this place a going over.

What? Your jewels, remember?

I don't suppose Miss Smith would object if we looked around a bit?

This is a crime scene. We have to call the police.

Miss Orpington.

Please, call me Stacey.

I mean, we have discovered a dead stewardess together.

Stacey, think.

What will the police make of this?

We break into a woman's apartment, we suspect of stealing your precious

jewels, and while ransacking it, we just happen to discover her dead body?

We can't just...

Leave her lying there. Yeah, we will report it.

Anonymously. There's no harm in that, is there?

Now, let's just have a look around. I don't suppose we'll find anything. I

would think whoever murdered Lola has the jewels by now.

What do you do in London, Stacey?

Oh, I lost a fortune in jewels.

And I discovered a dead body.

I was arrested for withholding evidence on a murder investigation.

I really wanted to see Buckingham Palace.

But I guess that'll have to wait until I'm on parole.

Where's Mrs. Donaldson going?

She's on her way to Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi? By taxi?

I don't think she trusts us.

I imagine that.

Well, we don't have time to worry about her right now. Let's get you back to the

hotel before the police get here.

leave a big tip for the maid.

Catastrophe. What a mess.

Listen, Al, we better not let this lady out of our sights.

Al, I'm telling you, this is your shot at the big time.

Plus, she can't stay here. I mean, we're talking murder here.

Marvin, you don't need to explain to me I'm not completely dim.

And Marvin, stop calling me Al.

Stacy, don't worry. You're staying with us tonight.

I'm not going anywhere with you three. I'm serious.

I feel responsible.

You should.

Look, the people who did this, they don't just want to have a nice, friendly

chat, you know?

Why is this happening to me? I don't even have the jewels. I don't have any

jewels. I don't even wear earrings.

Well, either they think you still have them or they're looking for something

else.

Let's have another look in Lola's hat box.

Why?

Apart from her name tag, the only thing in there is little liquor bottles.

Yeah.

Change of underwear.

Two changes, actually.

Yeah. Look, Stacey, please stay with us tonight. You'll be much safer there.

And look at it this way. I'm probably the only person you know in town right

now with a tidy apartment.

Hello? Hello, it's reception.

Yes? Mr. Dinsdale from the London Museum is here to see Miss Aubrey. Yes, I'll...

I'll tell her.

Some guy from the London Museum.

Dinsdale. He's on his way up here with a bouquet of flowers for you. Oh, Gordon's

going to kill me.

Shall we go?

Oh, excuse me. I wonder if you could direct me to room 417.

And a kleinen moment.

Danke, danke. Good picture.

Mein kinder, Mr. Authentic Londoner.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Adios. Au revoir.

Tourists.

Hey guys, dinner's ready!

Eloise, come help me!

This was their idea. I wanted to order pizza.

Well, if it's to be my last meal, at least it'll be a good one. Come on,

cheer up.

I've already got a day planned for tomorrow.

Now, we need to talk to the other people from our flight, right? So I thought

we'd start with that fashion model.

She's filming a commercial at the Tower of London.

But for now... Ta-da!

My specialty.

Pasta du fromage.

Which means?

Macaroni and cheese.

Ellie stirs great feelings for Stacy.

Swell. He gets to romance the babe while we do all the grunt work.

Marvin, how can you be so unromantic?

It's a little hard to get in the mood without a dishwasher.

So after I got out of college, I just naturally went to work at the museum.

I'm not sure I understand why.

I guess my life has always been planned out for me.

And is, uh, is Gordon a part of this plan?

Well, there's a passionate endorsement.

What does that mean?

You're obviously not in love with him. How do you know?

You're not actually going to marry this fellow, are you? I might.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Those two are pathetic.

Muffin, it is not proper to spit on people.

Why not?

That's what my dad does for a living. Besides, they need help.

Look, I'm sorry about that.

Just because I've temporarily mucked up your life doesn't give me the right to

malign your fiancé.

He's not my fiancé.

He's not? I haven't decided yet.

I see.

It's a big step.

Absolutely.

You're right. A girl can't be too careful.

My sentiments entirely.

Settle down, everyone.

And roll playback.

Mark it. Racing commercial.

Well applied. Take nine.

And action.

Look, there she is.

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight.

I've never seen you shine so bright.

Cut. Fabulous, Imelda, darling. You're an absolute star. Now, relax a moment

and we'll get the next set up.

Okay, now what I see here.

Miss Butler.

Well, hi.

If it isn't the princess of the airplane.

Have you been watching?

Yes. It is very interesting.

I have decided that when I am grown up, I will work in the cinema.

Our little actress. Mais non.

I wish to be a director.

Smart kid.

Yes. Miss Butler, we wanted to talk to you about your hat box.

Sure, handsome.

I've got a little time while my lover kills himself.

Just in the script.

He dies for your love.

They always do.

This cinema is so sad.

Only if the checks bounce, honey.

Come on in.

You guys go ahead. I'm going to look around.

Don't go too far, okay?

Don't worry about me, Al.

Coffee, kid?

Sure, got any sugar?

Don't look like jewels to me.

Sorry.

By the way, did you hear about the airline stewardess? She was strangled

with a brand new pair of dance tights. The price tag was still on them, I

heard. Isn't that tacky?

Then everyone knew she'd end up this way.

Is that in the article?

No, I happen to know the airline pilot.

Sort of my own personal frequent flyer program.

We're just waiting for the traffic and then we're gonna go with this.

Settle down, everybody.

Let's quiet on the set, please. Quiet on the set.

Give me

that, Eloise.

Do you think you could talk to him and try and find out about the stewardess

for us?

Sure. We got a date tonight, in fact.

He and I go way back.

His name's Mike... something.

Here. Call me tomorrow.

Thanks. And I think this would look a lot better on me than you, honey.

Mrs.

Donaldson?

Inspector.

Am I on time?

Just. Thank you so much for seeing me.

I don't want to upset you, but you may have heard that the stewardess from

our... Those people are nuts.

They ought to be locked up.

Luckily, I managed to give them the slip.

Who are you talking about?

Do you know what I think?

I think they are all spies or something.

I mean, the man is British, the woman and the boy American, and the little

girl.

She's French.

The French are our allies, Mrs. Donaldson.

Inspector, have you ever been to France?

Yes. Wow.

There you are, then.

Yes. Mrs.

Donaldson, can you tell me anything about these people who you think... I

can tell you everything.

I even found out where they are staying.

Oh.

There you go.

Keep the change. Oh,

no!

My dad's going to kill you, Al!

Right.

Look, hurry you two and pack a case.

Then we'll go around and get the rest of Stacey's things. We're going to find a

safe place to stay.

Come on.

Miss Orpington, you have some messages.

Yes. I'll hold these. I'm going to go up and pick the rest of the stuff. Oh,

right. I want to go with you. No, you stay here with us, all right? No, it's

all right. Eloise can help. Okay. Sit down.

Well,

I thought rock stars were messy.

Disgusting.

Still making that death ray or whatever it is?

Nah, too easy.

What then?

I don't know.

Something with huge profit potential.

Big bucks.

We're talking global enterprise here, Al.

I see.

I consider you for an executive position, but so far I'm not that

impressed with your management skills.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning. Has Miss Opington picked up her messages yet? Yes, she has.

Excuse me a moment while I answer the phone.

Good morning, Royal Hotel. How can I help you?

Just a moment. I'll put you through.

Stacey, we need to hurry. Some guy downstairs is asking for you. Who? I

don't know. Come on.

Eustacia.

There you are.

I'd recognize you anywhere.

I'm Stacy, but how... Eustace Orpington Blaine.

Your cousin.

I did leave word.

Oh, sister's message.

Oh, right.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Yes, well, good to see you've packed. Shall we go?

I'll be happy to carry that.

No! She is with us. You cannot.

Yeah, back off, Jeeves.

It's nice to see you've made some friends at the hotel, Eustacia, but I

really think we should be going.

Mrs. Orpington-Blaine will be expecting us. We're not her friends, actually.

I beg your pardon?

We're her family.

Really? I had no idea.

Neither did I.

It's very recent.

Is it?

Yes.

And the children?

Ours. Are they?

Oui. Yeah.

Alistair, Lord, nice to meet you.

This is Eloise.

She's French.

It's our previous marriage.

Her mother was in the Paris Ballet. Please don't say anything to the little

girl. She's been pining terribly since Nanette, that was her mother's name,

Nanette succumbed in Act II of Swan Lake in mid-Clié.

It's tragic.

I can imagine.

And this is our little boy.

Marvin.

He's American.

Adopted.

They're leaving the hotel with some other class twit.

Now look, if we don't get the ad books, all the jewels in the world ain't gonna

save us.

What a dunk!

An almost perfect example of latitude architecture, but we like to call it

home. I'd like to call a car, but... Everyone, I'd like you to meet Beatrice,

my wife.

Beatrice, this is... everyone.

Bonjour. Howdy. Hello. Hi.

I hope you like Asper Distress. Very commonplace in England.

I hadn't realized that you'd be needing more than one room.

I suppose your children could take that bedroom there.

And you and your husband can use the one down the hall.

I don't know. It has a large bed.

Very suitable for newlyweds.

I'll tell you what. Let's separate, boy-girl.

For the children's sake.

They get very nervous sleeping in strange places.

This sure qualifies for that.

As you wish.

Well, dinner will be in about an hour. Come down when you feel like it. I'm

longing for a chat.

Right-o.

Excuse me, thanks.

Thanks, Alistair. Saved you from a pain worse than death.

Boo.

I suppose you realise this ruins everything.

I had no idea she was married.

Those children, whose are they?

Are they his?

Are they hers?

I think so. Or the other way around. I haven't quite sorted it out yet,

actually. Fine.

Fine. You brought them.

You cook for them. I can't cook.

When I look at you. What? Nothing.

All right.

What's the matter now?

Is my old war wound acting up again?

What war are we talking about here? The Crimean? The Peloponnesian?

My war wound.

You know perfectly well what happened.

The sofa collapsed when I was watching Bridge on the River Kwai.

Why didn't I marry Clive? At least he was tall.

He's also dead.

My point exactly.

What? Nothing.

You sold the chickens. We are broke.

Can't you understand that? Why can't you grasp that fact?

But I love those chickens.

I know.

I know you did, Flopsy Bunny.

And they loved you too.

Do you think so?

Yes.

What are we going to do? We've got to feed them something.

I'll cook my usual.

I'm glad you wore this one.

It is very pretty.

Thanks.

You really like it?

Oui. It is très seducant.

And what does Georgette think of it?

Miss Stacy, Georgette is just a doll.

Ah, of course.

Eloise?

What do you think of traveling with Alistair?

He's a bit shy with us sometimes, but I think he's really a very nice man.

There is something appealing about him, isn't there?

He's certainly nothing like Gordon. Not that Gordon isn't wonderful in his own

way.

I guess.

Eloise?

Eloise?

No, Marvin.

The reconnaissance mission is out. Okay? Bummer.

Hi. Dinner time... already?

Blimey. You look very... nice.

Thanks.

I... I thought maybe we could have a drink before dinner. Oh, yeah.

So Marvin, what is that you have there?

Don't ask.

It's either a real great rocket launcher or a real painful zit popper.

I did warn you, didn't I?

So how about I go look around?

How about not, okay?

Nobody ever lets me do anything.

Marvin, I need your help.

You do?

I was just thinking.

Eloise is sleeping right now, and if she wakes up and she's all by herself, she

might get scared.

I mean, this is a creepy old house, don't you think?

Nah.

But she's just a kid.

Maybe I better go keep an eye on her, just till she wakes up.

Thanks. No sweat.

He's a good kid.

I suppose.

Although the headmaster's at six military schools, we might argue

otherwise.

Did I hear something about a... drink?

Did you see his face when I told him we were married?

Did you see mine? I'm amazed he believed a word I said. I mean, we must have

looked like the United Nations.

You know, I really... I have a confession.

You go first.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry.

Nothing.

It was nice.

Nice.

Sensational. Well, it's just... It's not you.

It's Gordon.

No! Yes.

Well... Maybe.

It is Gordon.

A little.

I'm sorry.

No, of course. I understand.

You wanted to say something?

You guys coming or what?

Oh, we were just... Let's go. I'm starving.

Eloise said to go without her. She's changing clothes for about the zillionth

time.

Some girls just don't know what they want. Right, Al?

Aren't you hungry?

No. Now you eat your soup or it's no dessert.

Promise? Ah, Eloise.

No excuses.

Sit.

Well,

I'll go and get the next course.

Oh, good.

You'll love it.

It's an old family recipe.

Tripe and onion pudding.

Do you intend to stay on at the museum now that you're married?

Of course.

I love my work.

Eloise, you heard what I said.

Speaking of your museum, I was just saying to Mrs. Augenton-Plain just

before dinner... Forgive me if I sound sentimental.

I was just saying what a pleasure it will be seeing the family jewels back on

home soil once again, as it were.

And I thought I'd ask, just for old time's sake, whether we could have a

little preview before they go off to exhibition.

Ah!

Ah!

The pudding.

Perhaps we could have a little peep after dessert.

If we live that long.

I know what we'll do now. Let's all go down to the pub for a pint.

I don't drink.

Neither do I.

Well, never mind. Let's all go for a drive.

The children get carsick, I'm afraid.

What about a stroll in the gardens?

Oh, well... Then that's decided.

Eustace loves his roses.

Oh, boy!

Roses! You children needn't come along. You can go and play in the front.

I'll stay behind.

Clear away the food.

We don't want it to go bad, do we?

We might want to picket it later.

He treats me like I am a child.

He's just acting. He's got to pretend to be our dad is all.

Well, no matter. I'll tell you upstairs. Wait a minute.

But I must tell you. Just a second.

I think someone followed us here.

You stay here and don't make a move, got it? But the service...

Thrips, mildew.

I've fought them all.

And aphids. I can tell you stories about aphids that would curl your... You

just

stay there.

And the secret here, of course, is plenty of fresh manure.

Alistair! Stacey!

It's Eloise!

She's been kidnapped!

What?

Wait!

You, listen!

Give me the car keys. I'm going after them. Don't be daft. Give them to me!

Come on.

Let them go.

We need more time.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm supposed to watch her, but you gotta believe me. Marvin. I didn't

know. No one's blaming you. Come on, Stacy.

Are you nuts? We have to call the police.

Just get in the car, okay? The guy who took Eloise.

It's the criminal from the airplane.

The one the cop had handcuffed to him. What?

Don't worry. He won't get far.

You'd be surprised what she will do to a carburetor.

Marvin, you can call me out.

That way!

No, no, no, that way!

Sorry.

Stacey, there's something I want to tell you.

Bad timing.

I've really enjoyed our time together and...

You know, you've come to mean an awful lot to me.

This job of mine, chaperoning children, it's not what I intend to do with the

rest of my life.

Alistair, what is it you're trying to say?

I'm a detective.

What? Well, in training. I plan to start my own agency. And if I can solve this

case... You jerk! Ow!

Cece, please.

You're using me. I am not.

And you're shot at the big time, is that it? It's not like that at all.

I was starting to like you. I even thought you liked me. I do like you.

You phony, rotten, dupli- dupli- Duplicitous.

Stop interrupting.

Sorry. You kissed me.

Oh.

Catch me first, Missy.

There he is! Floor it! I am flooring it.

Come on, you.

Is him all right?

You did that on purpose. I did not.

Where are the children?

I don't know. Marvin ran off.

Marvin!

Marvin! Here we are!

Marvin, you found her! I'm okay.

Of course, no problem.

I know Marvin will rescue me.

It's no big deal, Eloise.

Hey, Al, where's the bad guy?

What now, Marvin?

Eloise knows where the jewels are.

What?

They're back at the house. Eloise saw them. Really?

Why didn't you say something?

It was your fault. You wouldn't let me. You kept shushing me at dinner.

He was probably too busy looking for clues in the tripe and onion pudding.

Before Eloise came down to supper, she saw some guy in a room looking at the

jewels. Sure about this?

Of course.

I'm positive.

It has the crown, just like I was wearing on the plane.

If you'd listened to her, we'd have the jewels by now. Oh, like I'm supposed to

know what she's trying to say?

Stop it, you two.

Mervyn has a plan for us.

We can't just go waltzing in. I mean, clearly my... Cousins can't be trusted.

We, they tried to poison us at dinner.

Around back.

Okay, come on this way.

Stay close together.

Around here.

You want to climb that?

Looks strong enough to me.

Right.

Stacey, take your shoes off and get on my shoulders. Come on.

That's right.

Okay. Right. Put your foot there.

Okay.

No.

That's it.

Come on. Up.

Up you go.

Come on, always.

Hey. Hey, you two, where are you... Don't you

dare drop me.

Pudding.

There you go, Miss House.

Good idea, Al, but I think the latter would be quicker.

What latter?

Gee,

Marvin, with you along, it's just like having our own private eye.

Hold on.

How

was

I to know there was a ladder?

You're the detective.

You all right now? Yeah, fine.

Oh, this was my good dress. Sorry, okay? Come on, guys.

Try buying the books.

No, no.

Look at the dust.

They haven't been moved.

This is the wound.

I saw them.

I believe you, sweetheart, but we don't know if they're still here, do we?

No.

What? It's just paper.

Yeah, but look at the depth of the drawer on the outside, then look where

the bottom is on the inside.

My main man.

Yours, I believe.

Alistair, I never thought I'd ever see them again.

What's the matter?

Well, this isn't it.

The real Tierra has one ruby missing right there.

I don't understand.

This is a fake.

Do you mean to tell me we've been chasing around half the English

countryside trying to recover a set of funny jewels?

No, these are fakes. This is not the set of jewels I brought from America.

That Tierra has a missing ruby and this one doesn't.

Well, I guess it's back to square one, huh?

Yeah, thanks for the splendid day, Brandon and Marvin.

Well, that's it.

Might as well call the museum, admit that they're gone, and take my

punishment like a man.

It is all right, Miss Stacy.

I have decided to become a famous lawyer.

I will not let you rot in the jail.

Yeah, and meanwhile, I will visit you all the time.

Oh, not again!

Quick, let's pack!

They've gone!

Taken their luggage! I told you to put everything back as it was!

What were you doing all this time, love of my life? You know perfectly well what

I was doing. I was distracting their attention by showing them the roses.

Well, you'll be planted alongside them if we don't get these jewels back soon.

Another month like the last one and you'll have to get a job.

Me? I'm not cut out for menial labor.

You know who I blame for all this, don't you?

Oh, yes.

Yes, it's all his fault. That man has got a lot of explaining to do.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

I thought she was your girlfriend.

She's gadding about the countryside like Maria von Trapp.

I've eaten tripe and onion pudding for too long, Gordon.

The money from those jewels is going to put this family back on the A-list.

Okay, I admit she's acting a little strange.

But I'm sure it's nothing.

Trust me.

Stacey's completely reliable.

You know what I think? I think she's on to you. That's what I think.

Don't be ridiculous.

Well, how do you know she hasn't simply sold the jewels herself?

Yes.

Believe me, Stacey is too honest to ever get mixed up in anything even remotely

illegal. Well, I hope you're right, Gordon, because I'll tell you this.

I'm not going to let that little paramour of yours mess this up.

Those jewels have been with her side of the family for too long. It's our turn

now.

Four more bottles. Hello, it's Alistair Lord.

Who?

Alistair, the handsome one.

Alistair Lord.

Darling.

What's up, Hampton?

Any news for me? Of course. Did you think I'd forget?

No, of course, but it is urgent.

Listen, I can't really talk right now, but I've got something for you and it's

good. I'll see you in the morning, then. Yes, late morning.

Till tomorrow, then. All right.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Attention, attention.

The first man to return with more provisions will officially be my co

-pilot.

We're all set.

We're going to meet her for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Fabulous. I am on green now.

I got bubblegum.

Swell. Look, cheer up. Imelda says she's got some information on our stewardess

for us.

Cheer up.

It's Saturday already.

All right, we've got one more day.

No, I've got one more day.

Despite the fact this is your fault, I'm the one who's going to be spending the

rest of her life making license plates on Devil's Island. Don't.

Don't laugh.

You call this the perfect hiding place?

Come on, cheer up.

I just don't know what's going on with your cousin.

We do?

Eustace and company have in their possession a fake set of jewels, right?

Now, only someone who is very familiar with the originals would know the

difference.

Do you see?

Hey, I get it. Cool.

He was gonna switch them.

What?

He thinks you still have them.

That's why rooms were searched.

Obviously, he took us out to see his stupid rose bushes so that his partners

could switch the fake jewels with the real ones.

And I'd end up delivering the phony set to the exhibition.

Except, of course, the real ones were stolen before Eustace could make the

switch.

Fine.

If I call you Columbo, can we please call the police? A few more clues.

That's all I need.

You need professional help. Give me the car keys.

Look, what are you going to tell the police?

That you know someone who might commit a crime? Eustace hasn't done anything

wrong yet.

You've always got an answer, haven't you?

Please, look, I know things seem out of control, but I can't help you, really.

I'm good at this.

Okay, so I do want to solve the case, but mostly because I care about you.

Very much, actually.

I'd say you give old Al a break.

See? Even the expert agrees.

Sorry for a bit early, Miss Butler.

Call me Imelda. Everyone else does.

Thanks for letting us freshen up, Miss Butler.

Call her Imelda.

Everyone else does.

Could you get that, handsome?

I got it.

Great, kid. Just great.

Room service.

Where would you like it, sir?

Oh, no.

Park it over there, honey. Way over there. As you wish, madam.

So, Miss... Imelda. Your signature, please. Did you manage to

talk to the pilot?

Lots and lots of pilots.

And a couple of navigators, I think.

with two kinds of syrups. What, Marvin? That's not very polite.

But she's not going to eat it. She may want it later.

I want the sausages.

Please, I want you to have my breakfast, only I'll pay you not to talk about it.

All right.

So, to get back to our pilot.

Yeah, we need to know about the story list.

Oh, that's right.

First of all, Lola Smith wasn't her real name.

She had enough aliases to fill a phone book.

Yeah, and I'll bet some of them had criminal records as well.

Smart and handsome.

Anyway, yeah, the airline had its own investigation going.

Seems a lot of first-class passengers on Lola's flights were getting robbed while

they traveled.

But is there a suspect in her murder yet?

Maybe. You know the cop who was on our flight?

Seems his prisoner got away from him at the airport.

So the cop's been questioning everyone from our plane.

He came and saw me right after he talked to that grandmother.

Barbara Donaldson?

Yeah. She told the cops she thinks you're all nuts.

I can't imagine why.

Anyway, he's pretty anxious to talk to you, too.

Wait. Here, his number.

Oh, thanks.

Well, we'll definitely call him. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Come on, children, let's go.

Thanks. I'm still hungry.

Wait.

Marvin has not yet finished his keepers.

Look!

Let's go.

Down that way. Go on.

Man with the doggies, always, sir.

Are you okay?

Don't tell me you're worried about me. Not now. Not now, Marvin. I gotta go.

What, now?

I can't help it. I gotta.

Why don't you go in there?

Eloise, you better go too.

Oh, this is great.

They can't help it. They're just kids.

So, did you have this much fun with Gordon?

You gotta do this.

I've gotta show them I can be trusted.

You're all very brave.

Just give me a couple minutes, okay?

Then make them take you back to my parents' place, got it?

Oui, Capitan.

Where's Marvin?

He has a plan.

Oh, no.

It is brilliant.

You know, Marvin is very clever.

When I'm grown up, I will marry him. Of course, he does not know that yet.

Eloise, where is he? Where is he?

In order to keep the criminal from chasing us and gain valuable

information, Marvin has allowed himself to be kidnapped.

Voila, everything is back to normal.

Who's he talking to at a time like this?

You must not worry.

Marvin will be fine.

me so.

Well, that was the name I was given.

Oh.

Well, I'll try another number.

Thank you. Bye.

Alistair. Police.

Now. Not to worry.

It is him.

The man.

Who's that, honey?

The man with the jewels.

You have his picture.

Gordon? I don't think so.

I am positive.

This is the man I saw in the I swear it! You know, when you think about it, this

really makes sense.

I can't believe it.

I mean, he's a little pushy, but... No.

Still, he did arrange for me to be in London early.

Yeah, and who else would have known to search the hat boxes?

All those things he said.

Don't worry about security, Stacey.

Don't you think you deserve the jewels, Stacey?

Will you marry me, Stacy?

That creep.

I'll kill him.

Of all the dishonest dupli... Dupli... Duplistas?

Don't interrupt me!

What? Stacy, it's me.

Marvin! Marvin!

How are you? Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure? No problem.

Listen, guess what? These guys have the jewels.

And not only that... Are you sure they have the jewels?

That's right, Governor.

We've got the jewels.

And we've got your little boy.

If you harm him, I... Now, listen.

We want the ad books.

Lola's.

Why on earth do you want that?

Never you mind why.

Just do as I say and you'll get your little monster back again.

I'll have to consult my partners.

But let's keep this between us, eh?

Okay, okay.

Lola tried to cross us.

And you knew what happened to her.

So let's meet at Blaine Estate.

Right.

We're all set.

We'll meet at your cousin's at three o'clock.

All that's left to do now, you'll be glad to hear, is call up our pal, the

policeman, to help us with the surprise party.

We've already looked through all of that. Well, if they want it this badly,

it's worth having another look.

Aha.

What's this?

Well, well. Look! He knows Lola!

There's my travel itinerary.

He had Barbara's, and Imelda's, and a dozen first-class passengers

from other flights. This is it. This is their hit list.

They'd do anything to stop this information falling into the wrong

hands.

Now I'm worried. You're starting to impress me.

Wait. How's it better?

Hello? Yes.

Ah, Mr. Lord,

we finally speak.

I see.

Yes, well, you'd better give me the address.

And, um, well, good thinking on your part, sir.

Snack, anybody?

What? Pray tell, is that the bane of my existence?

Come on, your turn.

Anything?

You're old maid.

I win again.

Oh, goody. It's them.

Cheeky of them pinching the cup.

Ah, Eustacia.

Glad you could pop over.

Cut the small talk. Where is he?

Who, my dear?

Gordon!

Stace!

Sweetheart, you caught me.

Gordon came over to surprise you, my dear. Isn't that nice?

Ah, but she guessed it.

Didn't I tell you she was a quick study?

Do I love this girl or what?

See this?

Garbage. And if you touch me, if you even breathe on me, I'll break your

kneecaps. She'd do it too. I've seen her in action.

Heels of fury.

We know about the fake jewels.

Gordon, talk to her.

Stace. Honey.

Slow down.

Shut up, Gordon.

We know you're going to switch them with the real ones, but it won't work.

Oh, Gordon, really, this is all your fault. I don't know why you let Mr.

Pollyanna in here in the first place.

Unless Alistair and I are cut in on it. Are you mad?

I mean, assuming any of this nonsense is true, why should we include you? Because

without us, you'll never see the real jewels again.

What have you done with them?

Listen, pal, what have you think for one minute? I haven't done anything with

them.

They've been stolen.

They are not following these two well, are they?

Hmm, poor listening skills.

Yeah, not to worry. You just do exactly as I say, and you might see your

precious Orpington jewels again.

Ah.

Right on time.

Who's that?

Oh, that's the police.

Not long now, Mr. Orpington Blaine.

I expect you're anxious to see those jewels again.

Brilliant deduction, Spectre.

Actually, there's a funny thing about that, Inspector.

Shall I tell them, darling?

Darling? Shut up, Gordon.

The thing is, we already have the jewels.

The real ones, I mean.

Come again?

The jewelsmith who made the originals was well known for making paste copies

of his best work, a kind of safety measure, as it were. Now, Mr. Orpington

Blaine's family have the real set.

And the museum that Stacey and Mr.

Cringby worked for displayed the copies.

So, you mean the stolen jewels are worthless?

Fakes? No, no, they have a value of...

a search of historical interest, but in terms of dollars and cents, no, you'd

have to say that they were worthless.

Do you think I could see the real jewels for myself?

Yes, of course.

Gordon will show you them, won't you, Gordon?

Right.

Ah.

Good heavens.

Well, I must...

Get to my radio and check in with HQ.

Are you insane?

First you invite the police over, then you practically tell them what we're

going to do. Yeah, all the time.

About time, too. This kid is... Shut up and listen.

Change of plan.

Okay. Where's she going?

She's letting the inspector's backup officers come in through the kitchen.

They'll be here in a minute.

Actually, that's not quite true. You see, they can't be his officers because

he's not really a cop.

He's not?

No.

He's one of the gents that stole the jewels and murdered Miss Smith.

He's a murderer?

Mm-hmm.

But how?

I'll explain. But first, Gordon, run along and fetch the jewels. There's a

good chap.

And how about her, Inspector?

I did some checking and I discovered nobody at Scotland Yard or the London

Police knew anything about him.

Well, that made me a bit suspicious.

And back when we were searching Lola's flat, I found a slip of paper with a

phone number on it. Who's Lola?

Well, I filed it away, forgot all about it, until Imelda gave me the Inspector's

card. And I saw that his number matched the one I'd found at Lola's apartment.

They obviously knew each other.

Who's Imelda?

Ah, here's Mr Stringsby now.

That's... Thringsby! Sorry. Thing me.

Here we are, Inspector.

Oh, yes, I see.

Well, you'd better put these somewhere safe until this is all over. Well,

that's... Nobody move.

Oh, do what he says. He's got a gun.

For heaven's sake, Beatrice, tell them to put your hands up. Where are your

manners?

Come on, come on, come on. Pick them up.

Muffin!

You won't wait.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I've got an idea. Here.

Chew this gum.

Let's trade hat boxes again.

And now the sparklers.

Not until you give us Marvin.

Forget the lousy kid.

Shut up, Gwen.

I'll drop the boy off when I'm sure I'm not being followed.

Till then, he's mine.

Marvin, please help me. I am a highly trained professional. Please do not rush

me.

Done with your gum yet?

You'll never get away with this, you know.

No?

I will with you as a hostage.

I see anyone following me, he gets it. You understand?

Jeffrey, will you stop that?

Come on.

Hey, where's the kid?

Who cares?

Ha ha ha!

One down, three to go.

I think we're in trouble.

Ah, yeah!

See, they robbed people on both sides of the Atlantic.

Lola gave them the travel arrangements of the first-class passengers.

And then they robbed the hotel rooms while the people were still sightseeing.

Yeah, and when they read about you and your jewels, they must have thought it

was going to be an early Christmas.

Obviously, the plan was to steal them from your room, but then Lola got

greedy, staged that accident at the airport, and took the jewels for

herself. But if they already had the jewels, why did they come after us?

Because they knew that Lola had the list of names and itineraries that would

incriminate everyone.

After they ransacked her apartment for it, they must have figured out she had

it in her hatbox.

And you really are a detective.

To the best.

Well, all's well that ends well, eh?

Ah, yeah.

Now we can take the jewels back to the exhibition as planned and let bygones be

bygones. Okay?

Yes, the jewels will go in exhibition tomorrow and be welcomed back into the

Thringsby Museum. However, you, Gordon, will not.

You can't fire me.

I'm your boss.

Then I guess I'll have to take this to a higher authority.

Oh, yeah?

And who, pray tell, is that?

Your mother.

Not my mom.

Try me.

You still can't prove anything.

It was Beatrice and Eustace who had the fakes, not me. I'm as pure as the driven

snow.

If we are going down, we're going to drag you with us. You dirty rat. Stace,

help me. These people are sharks. They'll eat me alive.

Stace!

Bon Appetit

Thank

you

What's this it's for our next case our

Thanks. Thank you.

Bye.