Original subtitles

Sister, there's something I need to tell you.

If it's that they finally freed that orphan

from the loom at Father's factory, thank God.

Production was delayed for hours.

This is actually news of a personal nature.

HETTY: Has her mustache grown since this morning?

Why not just shave it?

What if an innocent bird gets ensnared?

Perhaps not a pelican,

but a hummingbird would certainly be at risk.

Well? What do you think?

I think... that sounds wonderful.

You do?

Oh, I'm delighted.

- Now... - HETTY: Oh, my word,

is that a piece of last night's venison?

KYLE: Jay, I have some terrible news for you.

Hetty was in that mirror.

What?

Oh, wait, is she destroyed?

Oh, my God, did we lose another ghost?

No. No, no, no, she's okay.

I wouldn't say I'm "okay."

It's just that little pieces of her

are spread out through all the different shards of glass.

It's terrible. Hetty's sharded.

Hetty, how did you get in there?

First of all, kindly take two steps back,

I'm looking directly up Main Street. What happened was

my slatternly sister pretended as though

she wanted to repair the relationship,

but it was all just a ruse

to trap me in the mirror in her stead.

So it sounds like Hetty's sister tricked her into the mirror.

Oh, these ghosts.

I told them specifically to keep it light.

Everybody listen. Margaret said the veil between worlds

is only thin enough on Halloween

for ghosts to switch places.

So that means we need to reconstruct the mirror

and get Margaret back in it by midnight.

Thor will go find Margaret.

I'll come with.

Thor really not need help.

Vikings expert trackers.

Well, Margaret's not a school of cod

so maybe I should come just in case.

Don't worry, Hetty, we're going to get you

- out of there. - Thank you,

but you are now directly above my other eye.

Sorry.

Oh. Hey, Margaret.

Are you out chasing butterflies, too?

No, I'm off to Paris.

It's been my lifelong dream ever since I first saw

the works of the great impressionists.

Oh, you know who was great at impressions? Pete.

But he disappeared.

And we were gonna do a séance, but you know... melting.

I'm not sure how to respond to that,

so adieu.

That was odd. What's happening?

Uh, you do know we can't leave the property, right?

It's kind of one of the main rules.

But... in the mirror, I was able to move freely.

Are you saying I-I can't go to Paris?

Lady, you can't go to that birch tree over there.

Should we go back inside?

I think I'll just stay out here for a while.

At least until the clock strikes midnight.

That sounds ominous.

No, no, I'm...

just playing a game.

- Like hide-and-seek? - Exactly.

If they don't find me before Halloween is over, I win.

Oh, like hide-and-seek. I'm in.

What happened to you?

The '60s.

Wait a minute, I think I got one.

Ooh, that is not

where that piece goes.

Stop jamming my wrist into my neck, you freak.

Kind of looks like a Picasso.

That's right, I minored in art at Penn.

And not because it's full of hot coeds.

It's because they let you draw a live model

for the final project.

I came as soon as I heard. My lord, you look...

f-fine.

Certainly not like something out of a nightmare.

In fact, I, you know, I prefer your face

- all cracked up and crazy. - Smooth.

Oh, it's really quite rich Margaret would entrap me

over some mysterious resentment.

I'm the one who should be mad.

She's the one who wronged me.

Wait.

Something's happening.

What is it?

I think I'm seeing something.

This is a classic pose,

but would you mind if I presented

a more intriguing tableau?

Oh, my God,

I'm seeing lower tibia.

Ms. Woodstone, if you approach any further,

I may not be able to resist.

My nape.

Take my nape.

Oh, my nape.

I believe I just experienced a vision.

Perhaps something the mirror

witnessed in the past.

Oh, wow. I mean, maybe mirrors hold on to everything

that they've seen, and when we broke this one,

it unleashed those memories so that you can see them?

Hold up, mirrors can do that?

I have to drastically change my behavior going forward.

What did you see, Hetty?

Did it involve Clive the beefy footman?

Perhaps in some sort of state of undress?

No, it was a cruel vision of a happy moment

when true love seemed to be within my grasp

before my treacherous sister stole it away from me.

Oh!

Last piece. I win.

Okay, that's like your second piece.

Also, we're still missing one.

But that's all the shards.

- We looked everywhere. - Well, are we sure

we must complete the whole mirror

in order for me to be able to swap places with Margaret?

Maybe we're close enough?

There's only one way to be certain.

Someone's gotta test it.

I'm Hetty's oldest and dearest friend,

so I suppose it falls to me...

to convince a simpler mind to touch it.

Trevor, this sounds like a job for your magic finger.

Yeah, right, what am I, meshuggener?

Alberta, you got this.

Her son murdered me. I'm good.

Isaac, touch the mirror.

I don't know.

Do-do you promise to switch back

in the event the test is successful?

Of course I do.

Okay.

- Oh, thank God.

I really didn't want that to work.

Kyle, you're killing me. What are they saying?

If we don't find that missing piece,

Hetty will be stuck forever.

You should really try touching the mirror.

It's thrilling.

I gotta say, Margaret, hide-and-seek is so fun.

Did you and Hetty play together

a lot when you were kids?

As children, we were close.

But then Hetty's life filled with friends and suitors.

Eventually, the only way we could show our love

was being cruel with one another.

Like George and Ringo after The White Album.

Like, you guys are barely Beatles.

Just be happy you're there.

Margaret!

Oh, Thor must be it.

Oh, he loves hide-and-seek, except for all of the counting.

Shh! Remember, we must be very quiet.

If they find us, we lose.

: Don't worry, Margaret.

I never forget to remember anything.

Thor picking up scent.

Animal urine.

Yeah, that's you, bud.

Hmm.

So, the sausage party was a bust.

Evan took off and my backup dude turned out to be gay.

He had a great time.

Okay, so just to catch you up,

Hetty's sister trapped her in the mirror

and we need to find the missing piece

to get her out of there by midnight.

Wow, that's a bad sister.

I look like a saint by comparison.

You stole my identity to take out loans in Central America.

Okay,

so you're legally dead in Nicaragua now.

Big deal. You were never gonna go there anyway.

Wait, I hear something

but I don't think it's coming from this room.

Maybe you're hearing out of your missing ear.

Oh, it's a man. He's commenting on a party he just attended

and the suspicious ratio of men to women.

Okay, so it's sounding like Hetty can hear through

the missing shard, and I think it might have

hitchhiked out of here on a guest.

Wait, now he's complaining that if someone called Colin

hadn't have "doinked a barbecue backhand,"

they could have easily beaten Vassar?

- It's gibberish. - It's Evan.

He was up here when the mirror broke.

One of the shards must have gotten lodged in his costume.

Well, wait, who's Evan talking to, his roommate?

He did say he had to go home because he was tired.

It's Amanda.

This is humiliating.

I never want to see him again.

Yeah, but unfortunately, you're gonna have to call him

and find out where he is.

Oof, just when you think this woman is at rock bottom,

Jay hands her a shovel.

Okay, fine.

But only because I want to give him a piece of my mind.

And maybe see if the door's still open.

- I hear a gentle buzzing.

And now he's saying, "Oh, God, she's calling.

I think I need to switch gyms."

He's not picking up.

But he's saying some really kind things.

Okay, I'm calling Amanda.

Well, she's not picking up either.

She said, "Why is my boss calling?"

And then he said, "Don't pick that up,

I bet it's Bela calling from his phone."

I'm sorry, guys,

I think we might've hit a dead end.

Oh, God... Hold on.

They're talking to someone new.

Evan is asking for something

called a "Tropical Heat Smasher"?

A Tropical Heat Smasher? What's that?

Only one of the greatest

culinary creations of the last decade.

Two beef patties, cheese,

crispy bacon and a jalapeño pineapple glaze.

Our boy's at a Sonic.

Well, he's getting something called a Slush Float.

Uh, Jay, he's getting a Slush Float.

Okay, only two locations carry that.

Jay's echolocating this guy like a bat.

This is impressive. And sad.

Now Evan's asking for the bathroom code,

which is 6872.

The bathroom code is 6872.

Boom.

He's at the one on Route 9.

Those four numbers have gotten me out of

a lot of tight spots.

Bela, let's ride.

Route 9.

My God,

Hetty's sharded all over the Hudson Valley.

Margaret not in kitchen.

She's not in Jay's office either.

But I did find a complete set of Avengers action figures.

They seem heavily played with.

Wait, I smell something.

Me, too.

Smells like... patchouli.

Wait,

that what Flower smell like.

Flower?

Shh.

Thor try something.

Marco?

Polo! But me and Margaret

aren't playing that. We're playing hide-and-seek.

Damn it, woman.

Margaret!

Stop!

Oh. Oh! I...

I think that means I'm "it" now.

Oh, cool.

100, 99, 98...

Can I, uh, steal a fry?

Only if I can steal one of these.

Hi, Amanda. Having a fun night?

Uh, hey. Sorry to bother you guys.

Do you remember that mirror that shattered?

Evan, I think there's a shard somewhere

on your person and I'm gonna need it back,

so would you mind stepping out

of the car so I could frisk you?

Will you leave me alone if I do?

Absolutely.

This is a real breach of girl code, I'm just saying.

The final shard.

Ah, he shouted that

right in my ear.

But please convey my gratitude to Jay.

Hetty says thank you.

Oh, much better. Hetty, you look phenomenal,

even with the cracks and Jay's greasy fingerprints.

Well, well, well,

look who's back.

Hello, sister.

Enjoying the mirror?

Strangely, somehow it looks a little snug on you.

- Hmm. - We found her hiding

in the restaurant.

"Hiding" like her upper lip.

Because she used to have a mustache.

My God, it is less fun having to explain these.

And now you know how I feel every time you guys

don't get a Matchbox Twenty reference.

Sorry to cut this off,

but it's getting a little close to midnight.

Thor, shall you shove this woman into the mirror?

- You wouldn't, you brute. - Aw, do it!

Shove her! Shove her!

So, how are things playing out?

The ghosts want Thor to push Margaret in the mirror.

They're chanting, "Shove her, shove her."

Feels a bit aggressive.

Well, if it helps,

the women are chanting it, too.

I mean, it does help a little.

Shove her! Shove her! Shove her!

- Shove her! Shove her! - Please,

I don't want to go back.

Hetty, stop them.

Hetty.

Give me one reason I should help you.

Sister, there's something I need to tell you.

If it's that they finally

freed that orphan from the loom at Father's factory, thank God.

Production was delayed for hours.

This is actually news of a personal nature.

You see, that man Father hired to paint our portraits,

he's so dashing and talented,

and I do believe that I'm falling in love with him.

You're sitting for your portrait tomorrow.

If you could find out if he reciprocates my feelings,

you truly would be the most wonderful sister in the world.

Well?

What do you think?

I think... that sounds wonderful.

You do?

Oh, I'm delighted!

- Shove her! Shove her! - Stop!

It is I who should remain in the mirror.

It's what I deserve.

Uh, so, bit of a curveball.

Hetty's saying she should stay in the mirror.

Seriously? I drove here so fast that half

my Turtle Truffle Nut Blast went on my steering wheel.

You stopped to get food?

The parking lot's for customers only, Kyle.

The mirror showed me a vision.

I had no idea you had feelings for Julian.

But I told you all about it. Why else

would I have reported your subsequent affair to Father?

Wait, so she told you she was in love with this guy,

and you got with him instead?

You did her dirty, dirty dog.

Margaret, I swear I did not intend to betray you.

When you told me of the painter, I must not have been listening.

That makes sense. You never listened.

Or paid much attention to me at all,

as much as I was desperate for it.

Oh, my dear sister.

There you are.

Wow, you are really good at hiding.

Upstairs hallway, always the last place you look.

Am I crazy or are the vibes, like, terrible in here?

Margaret,

I-- Damn this infernal prison.

I wish we could speak together freely

without this cursed mirror between us.

Ugh, fine. Though I tire of always being the hero,

I will help you out this time.

But make it snappy.

Thank you, Isaac.

Oh!

Oh, my God. I regret this immediately.

The mirror has given me vision where I was blind.

I only thought about myself in life,

and I was not the sister that I should have been.

I'm sorry, Margaret.

Those are words that I never thought I would hear.

Okay, this feels like real growth.

Mm.

Hug her, you dummy.

- Oh, we-we... we don't really... - Oh, but...

No, that would...

We could...

I must admit,

this does feel better than fighting

like a couple of drunken Irishmen.

- On that note... - Mm-hmm?

...there is something else you should know.

Bela bit of hot mess, but...

she deserve to find right man.

Yeah, she's got a good heart,

and I'm not complaining about the caboose either.

Choo choo, am I right?

Sorry the party didn't work out.

Hey, at least we helped two ghost sisters

- mend a centuries-old rift.

Yep, I will toast to that. Wine?

Oh, I'm gonna need more than that.

Oh, yeah, no. This is for me.

This is for you.

Happy Halloween.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Could be interesting. Could be disaster.

But that fun to watch, too.

MARGARET: So, you can be seen by the Livings

once a year? What have you done

with this incredible power?

Well, the first year, I went

for a walk with Jay's cousin,

and this year, I worked at a restaurant.

Hetty Woodstone working?

My God, you have changed!

: Oh...

- I could catch up for hours. - Mm.

But you won't, right?

Ticktock.

Getting a little close to midnight.

Might want to leave a little buffer for the old switcheroo.

Well, you've been trapped in there for 100 years.

Guess it's time to start my shift.

Yes.

I didn't realize I'd be confined to the property.

Oh, yeah.

I thought having escaped the mirror,

I'd finally get to see Paris.

I hear they are very welcoming to Americans.

You also dream of seeing Paris?

You never told me that.

Yes, I did. All the time.

Could you imagine it, sister?

Sitting on the banks of the Seine,

exploring the Louvre.

HETTY: Does it grow thicker in the winter?

I hope she's careful when blowing out a candle.

It's possible I might have missed something.

You know, there may be a way for you to see Paris.

It's entirely up to you,

but if you chose to return to the mirror,

we can have one of our Livings ship you there.

- Really? - Yes.

In fact, Trevor, the pantless one?

He has a daughter in Paris.

Huh, I wasn't getting "girl dad" from him.

But that would be wonderful.

We'll have to ship you carefully.

They've invented something called "packing peanuts."

These really feel like logistics

that could be figured out post-switch.

Hetty, tut-tut!

And then I hero-moved it, I drove to--

Well, it doesn't matter where I drove to,

but I got the missing mirror piece.

SAMANTHA: Good job, babe.

Although I can't believe

Kyle was playing basketball in the house.

Yeah, some men never grow up.

Anyway, sha'boy handled it.

I never should have doubted you.

I feel like he should be doubted a little.

He's putting his clothes in the dishwasher, Trev.

- It's bad. - Uh-huh.

So what's gonna happen to Margaret?

Well, we made her dreams come true, no big deal.

We talked to Abby,

and apparently her apartment

overlooks the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower.

Margaret is taking in the most magical city in the world.

I'd kill to see what she's seeing right now.

More people urinating on the street than you'd expect.

Still, what a view.

I can't believe Pete died exactly 41 years ago today.

I know.

One more year, he would've been able

to see Top Gun.

We watched it after he died, remember?

He didn't like it.

Too many motorcycle shots

where Tom wasn't wearing a helmet.

He was a dork.

But he was our dork.

Am I late? Did the moment of silence start already?

For me, it's kind of all moments of silence

with the ghosts, punctuated by occasional moments

of major financial setback.

We haven't started yet.

Apparently, he died at 11:15, so we have... 30 seconds.

Okay, great. Well, I brought bratwurst

for everyone to smell. Pete's favorite.

Mmm.

Smell like onion and urine.

Oh. All right, everyone. It's time.

Let's take a moment.

We love you, Pete.

I know I should know this, but why is everyone so quiet?

We're having a moment of silence for Pete.

Pete?

Yes, Pete.

- Pete? - Yes!

No. Pete!

- Oh, my God! You're back!

Was I shot?

Where are my troopers?

Pete, what's going on? Are you okay?

How do you know my name?

Who are you people?!

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