Original subtitles

Surgery? What happens if I don't have the operation?

It could kill you.

Hi, John.

He's the spitting image of you, John.

You old devil.

Would I have picked a father like him if he was a loser?

He's your father?

Congratulations, Trapper. It's a boy.

It's a miracle.

I understand that you have reason to believe that I might be your father.

You are my father.

do you know of a little town in korea called pangsan yes i do do you remember

a woman called sue

Just watch it.

Do windshields, too?

Oh, yes, sir.

I was only kidding.

Whoa.

Are you okay?

I haven't eaten for a couple of days.

Uh, come with me.

The name is Chang. People call me Charlie.

Gonzo Gates.

I've been waiting around for the personnel office to open.

You live around here?

Sort of.

Where?

Around. Well, the fact is, I'm looking around for Chief Pat.

Know of any?

Not a fan.

You can bunk here tonight till you get organized.

You into rehabilitation or something?

It's only for one night. You haven't got the job yet. Oh, it's in my hip pocket.

Nice pad.

You an orderly at that hospital, too?

I'm a doctor on the staff.

A doctor.

Like Robert Mitchum in Not as a Stranger.

United Artists, 1955.

Stanley Kramer, director.

You got it.

Now, that's the kind of work I'd be good at.

Hey, the personnel office should be open by now.

Can I leave my stuff here?

Thanks.

Dr. Jones, line one.

Dr. Jones, line one. Hold it.

Congratulations, Goodstone.

You just made the all-hospital most wanted list.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Same thing we talked about last time. The time before that, the time before...

Five bucks says there's nothing wrong with this lady. Is that what they teach

you in medical school? I am a dying woman.

I've got this... Headache, nausea, cramps in the stomach, ringing in the

ears. Did I miss anything?

I'm not going to have my symptoms evaluated by some quack intern.

Jackson, what's going on here?

It's good stone to kvetch.

She's paying her quarterly visit.

Five bucks says she's faking it.

Look, why don't you give her treatment?

I'll be the judge of that, Jackson. Take her to room three, please.

I see that you put Dr.

McIntyre down as your reference.

How do you know him?

It's all down there.

Oh.

Well, yes.

Well,

Charles, if I may call you that, we could have avoided a lot of silly

questions if you had told me that in the first place.

130 over 80.

No.

You say you've been experiencing some loss of hearing.

That's right.

What else?

Well, um... Well, like a heartbeat in my ear.

Dizziness? Yeah.

Can't keep my balance.

I want a skull series and mastoid x-rays. And possibly polytomography, if

those are positive.

Doctor, could you just tell me what's wrong?

Well, we will have a nice long talk about all this as soon as we get your

test results.

Put her in 4 West, please.

Yes, Doctor.

You mean you're actually assigning her a room?

Mm-hmm.

Well, don't you think you're going a bit far? I mean, it's one thing to call her

bluff, but this is... Well, she's not bluffing, my friend, and neither am I.

This can make medical history, jackpot.

I mean, do you realize there are only a few hundred cases of glomus jugulare

tumor in all of the medical literature since 1945?

And you just flashed on that after a five-minute workup? Well, some of us had

the touch, jackpot.

Just play with me.

Excuse me.

Oh, yes, sure.

Are you sure? That is the one.

It is on the application.

That is the most incredible thing I ever saw in my life. I can't believe it.

Oh, Stanley?

Hi, John.

He's the spitting image of you, John.

You old devil.

Mr.

Rosenthal, call your office.

Mr. Rosenthal, please call your office.

Doctor?

Yeah, you.

I'm not a doctor.

I'm the one who clears the tray, mops the floor, things like that.

I could have sworn you were an ear, nose, and throat man.

Mop, bucket, and broom.

That's me.

I guess by now you picked up on this desperate habit I have to make

conversation.

I didn't really notice.

Well, I'm just not at my best when I'm alone.

In fact, it takes both my skits so it sells to bore me out of my skull.

Want me to turn on the TV?

Oh, no.

That usually makes things worse.

It's just time of day.

The damn thing's ending and night comes but isn't quite there yet.

Yeah.

I know what you mean.

Everything seems kind of... I don't know.

Lonely, huh?

Yeah. I guess that's it. Listen, I know the feeling.

It's crazy, isn't it?

All I need is ten minutes.

As soon as it gets dark, I'll be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

You've got some cookie patients in that place.

That Harriet Goodstone, boy, she's really something.

You know her?

Yeah.

Cute chick, but she's convinced that she's a loser.

All she needs is somebody to talk to and... What you got there?

The Stars and Stripes, Pungsan, Korea, September 3rd, 1953.

MASH unit surgeon delivers triplets under fire.

This is all about Dr.

McIntyre.

Right.

These clippings are 20-something years old. What are you doing with them?

Collecting them.

What for?

Please sit down.

I'll tell you all about it.

What? I don't quite know how to tell you this.

Even I will admit that it's pretty wild.

Why?

Well, you know that young guy I was telling you about?

The one we put on at the hospital as an orderly?

You may have seen him around. He's half Korean, half American. His name's

Charlie Chang.

So what are you trying to tell me?

Like I said, it's kind of crazy.

Well, come on already.

He says he's your son.

That's supposed to be the father of somebody named Charlie Chang?

I just had a long talk with him, Trapper, and he claims that ever since

he was old enough to scrounge for cigarette butts on the streets of Seoul,

he's been looking for his old man.

And I'm it.

Well, even he admits the evidence is circumstantial. There's no witnesses.

Well, then that explains all the snide looks and comments I've been getting

lately from Stanley and Langley.

Why is the father always the last to know I'm sorry Trevor

Look if the whole thing is ridiculous and

Charlie becomes a nuisance we can get rid of it. What do you mean?

Well, we can fire him Well, of course that may create a problem If you get rid

of me, I'll probably think you're trying to shirk your responsibility as a father

But then on the other hand if you keep him on you'll probably be accused of

nepotism. I'll wait a minute What makes you so damn sure he's my son?

Well, I'm not sure. I just assumed... Well, let's not assume so much, huh?

Stanley says he's a spitting image.

Does he really look like me?

Only when he clenches his jaw.

Look, why don't you judge for yourself? You want to meet him, don't you?

Well, never let it be said I passed up an opportunity to meet my own son.

I'll set it up.

Charlie Chang.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

Didn't even get to pick the name.

Do you know of a little town in Korea called Bangsan?

Yes, I do. We were stationed a few miles from there.

I lived there with my mother.

Do you remember a woman called Sue?

No.

No, I don't.

I hardly remember her myself.

She was killed in a mortar attack when I was one.

Tell me something, Charlie.

What makes you think that your mother and I were lovers?

I've been told that someone with your name, someone who was a doctor with the

American army in Korea.

I've also been told that she loved this American doctor very much.

He always brought some food, medicine.

But they said it was his friendship and love that meant the most.

Well, does any of this come back to you?

Well, it was a long time ago.

Sorry if I'm not living up to your expectations.

Sure. Why should you believe you're my father? Because I say so.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to lay this heavy trip on you, upset your neat and orderly life,

Dr. McIntyre.

If you would excuse me, gentlemen.

You gonna be all right?

Oh, yeah.

I'll just sit here for a while.

Pretty impressive, Stanley.

What made you look in the ear canal when she was brought in?

Just one of those hot flashes I get that make medicine so exciting.

Well, I've got to hand it to you, Stan. As rare as it is, it's got all the signs

of a glomus jugulare tumor. Oh, yes.

Yes, yes. Listen, don't be too hard on Jackson for overlooking it. The kid will

come around with experience.

And hot flashes.

You plan to operate?

That depends on Harriet and the rest of the test results.

Listen, Gonzo, if you need any more help, you just let me know.

Good man, Stanley.

Surgery? I know I was looking for attention, but aren't you overdoing it a

little? Well, we've still got a few tests to run before we can be absolutely

sure. Oh, come on, Doc. I'm taking up space and you know it. Harriet, this

is... Besides, an operation can louse up my malingrin act. This is for real.

Hospitals aren't for cutting. They're for picking up guys.

What happens if I don't have the operation?

In this case, Harriet, surgery is probably the best treatment.

You didn't answer my question.

Okay. If it goes untreated, it can result in paralysis of the face and a

severe hearing loss.

In fact, it could kill you.

I think I'm going to check into San Jose for a second hospital opinion.

You have that right, Harriet. But why don't you at least wait until we get all

the tests back? Because I can tell by the look on your face that you already

decided to carve me up. But you need my consent, right?

If you want to talk it over with your family... Oh, they've already gone the

way of the pterodactyl and the white rhino.

Well, in that case, it's your decision.

Give me a little time, okay?

Maybe I can come up with somebody else I can check with.

Okay.

But don't take too long.

Do you remember a small town named Pungsan back in Korea?

I remember it. How could I forget it?

It rained there for 36 days straight.

So what do you think about all this? I mean, you've known me a pretty long

time. Don't you think this sort of thing could have happened?

Oh, listen, sweetheart, in that kind of weather, anything could have happened.

And it usually did.

Now, look, help me out, will you? I'm talking about me and a woman named Sook.

I know who you're talking about.

It's all over the hospital. No kidding.

Look, Trapper, after 19 hours in surgery, trying to patch up broken

bodies only so they can die some more, you were looking for a lot of solace.

Maybe somebody named Sook supplied it.

Yeah, but I don't remember her. I mean, I remember Kyung.

He, Aja, and various sundry other ladies of the nursing corps, but no soup.

Well, between your fatigue and that brew that you and Hawkeye used to distill

from embalming fluid in prune pits.

Listen, after a drink of that, you're lucky to remember anything.

You can say that again.

Hey, where'd you learn how to play like that?

In my neighborhood, you played pool or you bled a lot.

We didn't have any time for a lot of bingo.

I still say you hit a lucky streak.

What do you say would make the bed more interesting, huh, Martinez?

Oh, you're so kind to me.

I'll give you permission to get out of bed, Martinez.

I feel good, Doc. Honest.

Sack time.

Why do I have this crazy suspicion that you were absolutely him, Charlie?

Me?

Maybe it was the other way around.

You know, for a guy who claims to be broke, that's a nice fistful of green

you were flashing there.

You moonlighting somewhere?

I got lucky.

You know, I've been thinking, we might just be wasting Charlie's talents as an

orderly.

You think so, huh?

Yeah, I think he could be a more useless.

You sound like you're ready to adopt him.

Well, if you're going to adopt anybody, it might as well be somebody you could

be related to.

Trapper. This whole thing... This

whole thing about Charlie being your son could be a scam.

Scam?

Well, it's true. It could be.

But you don't think so?

Do you?

First, I wasn't sure, but I keep getting the impression that he's a hustler.

Of course he's a hustler. He's been a hustler all his life. He's had to hustle

just to survive.

Can't expect him to change his style overnight.

You know, instead of wasting our time wondering about this, there is an easier

way. What do you mean?

Ask Charlie to take a blood test.

Dr. Gates, a blood test does not prove paternity conclusively.

That's right. It can't prove whether Charlie is your son, but it can tell us

for sure if he's not.

And I'll let you watch he fights it.

Does Trapper want me to take it?

No, it's my idea.

What do I need a blood test for?

Look, Charlie, you're claiming to be Trapper's son. Don't you want some kind

of proof?

I don't need any proof.

I know he's my father.

And I think Trapper knows it, too.

Well, I'll admit that you're turning up shocked him into thinking about the

probabilities but trapper has a very incisive mind It isn't his mind that

believes it is his gut and what he remembers

What are you afraid of Charlie

When

when do you want me to come in for that blood test

Charlie, you gotta help me get out of here. Get out of here?

Now, didn't you tell me yourself that you always wanted to spend two weeks in

a hospital, recuperating from good health?

Now that you made it, you want to blow it?

Sit down.

This is different.

I think they're putting drugs in the custard.

Don't laugh.

I think they're experimenting on me.

Why you?

It's to pay me back for all the times I crashed here.

They mean business.

They're just going to carve me up for practice.

I'm not going to buy that, Harry.

I got a disease that nobody ever heard of. They just made it up to teach me a

lesson.

I'm scared, Charlie.

With McIntyre on your case?

What do you know about McIntyre?

I look him up.

He's a terrific surgeon.

Look at me, Harry.

Would I have picked a father like him?

If he was a loser.

He's your father?

Yeah. I spent 20 years tracking him down.

So how come you're not doing cartwheels or setting mops on fire?

I recognize him.

Now it's his turn.

It takes two to get that act together, you know.

Hey, if he operates on me, we gonna be, uh, cousins or something?

Yeah, cousin.

I want you to have this.

What is it?

It's a piece of shrapnel that missed by this much.

It's my good luck piece.

I always thought that I'd make a key ring out of it once I owned a set of

keys. Oh, Charlie, it's your good luck piece.

I don't need it.

I found my old man.

Yeah.

Thanks, Charlie.

You're welcome.

Hey, you gotta go.

Well, I don't know.

I figure I've got a few minutes.

Want to drink a water or something?

No, thanks.

Will you tell me about that movie again?

Which one?

The one you told me yesterday.

Hobson's Choice?

Ready?

Charles Lawton owns this shoe store.

But what keeps him in business is this little guy, John Mills.

who's got this terrific view for leather and works in Lawton's basement.

Now, Lawton's got three daughters, two of them pretty,

and the third one is this plain Jane, who's got it in her mind

to snack meals for her husband.

Ready for your blood test?

The scam has got to have a purpose. Now, what's in it for him?

You know, Trapper, for one of this country's great thoracic surgeons, you

can sometimes be very unhip. Well, I always spoke very highly of you.

Look, did it ever occur to you that Charlie has been training for like 20

years to pull this thing off?

Pull off what?

He thinks he's got a potential scandal going here. He figures if he plays his

cards right, it could be worth a bundle.

How so?

By embarrassing you, your family, the hospital.

Why did he pick me?

Because you were there.

He picked out the MASH unit near Pung San.

He got a fairly accurate profile from the Stars and Stripes. He asked a lot of

questions. He did his homework, Trapper.

And now you're protecting me.

Well, maybe you need it.

What would I do without you?

Listen, I may be galloping into senility quicker than I think, but until...

Congratulations, Trapper.

It's a boy.

Looks like Charlie's got your blood type.

He may very well be your son.

Hey, Charlie.

Listen, what are you doing?

Nothing much. Why?

How would you like to have dinner with me?

Look, that thing I laid on you the other day, you don't have to take it

seriously. Why not? I'd like to take it seriously.

You had a lot of years to build a family, and suddenly I show up... No,

no, no.

You see, I live alone now. I'm divorced.

I'd like to get to know you. What do you say?

Great. Drop by my office in an hour.

CCU. Dr.

Tom, please report to CCU.

What made you go into surgery, Chopper?

Oh, I don't know. Never really thought about it that much.

Other than the fact that I'd be good at it.

You know what's really remarkable, Charlie?

How much the human spirit contributes to one's own recovery.

You ever think about that?

I've had no schooling. Whatever I learn, I pick up on my own.

But you know something?

Ever since I was nine, I always had this big urge to sew.

Maybe I was meant to be a tailor, huh?

Or maybe a surgeon.

Never too late to learn.

Harriet's angiography and venography were positive.

We're going to have to go in.

Okay, did you consult Clark?

Yeah, he agrees that it's a glomus tumor.

All right, then we better schedule her as soon as we can.

Oh, and listen, you got a minute?

Sure.

You know, Charlie's a pretty ambitious guy.

What do you think, eh?

Think it's too late for him to get into medicine?

With his drive, Trapper, I can see him performing brain transplants for fun and

profit inside of a year.

Look, I'm not asking you to love him, but I mean, can't you at least give him

the same dispassionate consideration you would the lowly microbe?

What do you want from me, an endorsement?

You're being used, Trapper. Can't you see that?

Don't you think I'm aware of that?

How long did you suspect that was going on? Ever since I met Charlie.

Look, I don't remember Sook because she was never a part of my life.

Well, then why did you go along with Charlie all this time?

Come on, man, you think he came all this way and searched so long just to find a

target for a scam?

No, come on.

Ah, Charlie's looking for a father.

He spent half his life trying to prove that he's not just another empty shell

case to be thrown away.

Moving up?

Yeah. I figured I was crowding you.

Find a new home?

Pops asked me to move in a bit.

Pops? Yeah, we had dinner last night and a big talk.

About your future as a professional son, no doubt.

That was one of the biggies.

Did he have to talk you out of giving up your job as an orderly?

If I intend to take up medicine, I may have to.

Is something bothering you, Gonzo?

You know, ever since Trapper took an interest in me, it's been hard for you

to swallow.

I'll tell you what's bothering me, Charlie.

You're taking Trapper for a free ride.

Hey, I'm his son.

Maybe he owes it to me.

Why'd you pick Trapper, Charlie?

He's only a doctor.

What do you mean by that?

Two miles down the road from Pung San was a division headquarters commanded by

General Clayton T. March.

He could have pulled the same number on a general.

Got more?

General Clayton T. March is now chairman of the board at Alhambra Tube and Steel.

If you had a choice between two fathers, Charlie, what's a better payoff?

Head of surgery at San Francisco Memorial or a father who's worth six

million dollars in preferred stock?

Don't fight it, Gonzo. You lost.

Just because he never questioned you, only himself, don't make the mistake of

thinking he's a pushover.

Thanks for letting me crash.

You can keep the bike. That should pay for my board.

You can take him for every dime he's got, but if you disappoint him, you'll

wish you never made the trip.

Hey, you look different.

What happened to the uniform?

I turned it in, Harry.

Well, a person has an obligation to improve himself.

Did Dad offer something better?

You always believed he was my father, didn't you?

Sure. Why?

It's the way you said it.

It's the way you say a lot of things, Charlie.

Yeah?

So, what's the next move?

Well, I figure I'll head for Vegas.

High on as a dealer.

You spent 20 years tracking down your old man, and now that you found him,

you're hitting the road again?

He's got it in his head. He wants me to become a doctor like he is.

So what's wrong with that?

Take care of yourself, okay?

Sure.

Hey, you couldn't give me a lift to the bus station.

Well, you're not checking out.

This isn't my kind of hospital.

I guess we both found out in time we don't belong here.

You heard what they told you. Without that operation... I could go deaf. Ever

ask yourself how much is really worth listening to? You could die.

So, what does it really matter to anyone?

It matters to me.

Why? Why?

Now, what kind of a question is that, huh?

Because I want you alive, and I want you to have all your faculties.

So? I'll have one less.

They're your faculties.

How about that lift to the bus station? I can be ready in ten minutes.

Forget it.

Sorry I asked.

You want to kill yourself?

Grab a cab.

And you use some crazy broad, you know that?

Tune in on this while they're still working, huh?

Dr. Donahue to Pediatrics.

Dr. Donahue to Pediatrics.

Charlie, I've been looking all over for you. I'll give you the key to the house.

Langley said you didn't come into work today.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

It's not going to work out, Trapper.

What?

This whole domestic scene.

up a little too fast for you, huh, Charlie?

Well, I can understand that.

You want to be alone, independent?

Why don't you wait a while before you make any commitments?

It's okay, Charlie.

It's not okay.

And my name isn't Charlie.

It's Kim Park Chang.

The name was a handout, just like everything else was.

Charlie Chang.

Yeah, he went with that Chinese detective with the number one son.

Some joke, huh? So what else is new?

You are not my father.

It was a scam, just like Gonzo figured.

Hey, pal, I knew that.

The question is why, Charlie? Why the scam?

To take you for whatever it was worth.

Because I knew a doctor had a pretty good chance of making it in this country

and setting himself up.

I wasn't wrong.

You did okay for yourself.

And how are you doing, Charlie?

I mean, what kept you from trying to go all the way, huh?

Because I'm no good all the way down the line.

And Gonzo came up with a richer sucker.

A bigger sucker than you, Trapper. Can you believe it?

You're the sucker, Charlie.

You don't get that, do you?

Go find yourself another father, kid.

Hello, Harriet.

Did I hear hello, Harriet?

Am I remembering this from one of my exciting lives?

I'll whisper it.

Everything went fine, Harriet.

Oh, no.

They took my face.

It's gone.

It disappeared.

Harriet, believe me. You look beautiful.

It's paralyzed.

No. Smile.

You see, it's okay.

Then why can't I feel anything?

It's the anesthetic.

Hi, Charlie.

You came back.

Tell me about that movie again.

Tell me about little man who makes boots in the cellar.

And about Miss Plain Jane.

And how she sets her cap for this genius with leather.

And snags her own.

Yes, doctor. I'll attend to it right away.

Yes.

Has Charlie Channing been around?

No, sir.

All right. If there are any calls for Harriet Goodstone from anybody, I want

to be told.

Yes, doctor.

I'm sorry. I can't give out that information, sir.

Would you mind holding on a minute?

I think this is Charlie Chang.

Hello, Charlie?

Charlie, I know it's you, and I know you're calling about Harriet.

You better start looking for her.

She's got it in her head not to go through with that operation.

She's already had the operation.

What?

What changed her mind?

She had no choice. She started to bleed from her ear.

How's she doing?

Not too good.

She keeps asking for you, Charlie.

I've got a one-way ticket to Vegas, and my bus is leaving in ten minutes.

Charlie, she's in bad shape.

Well, I didn't put her there.

I just called to make sure you stop her from doing something crazy.

My name's Gates from San Francisco Memorial Hospital. We've got a man in

there that's very sick.

Well, how bad?

We can't be sure. All we know is that it's extremely contagious.

Are you sure that's him?

Positive.

You.

Off the bus.

What's the matter?

You know what's the matter. Off.

What you trying to pull now, Gonzo? Get off the bus, Charlie, before you

contaminate everybody.

Sorry, folks. I'm a doctor. We got a little problem here, but there's no

reason for anyone to panic. It's all right.

And you talk

about me pulling a scam?

Harriet won't make it alone, Charlie. I already told you. When she comes out of

it, I just want someone there besides a bank of monitors.

And you pick me?

It was her dumb choice.

Suddenly, everybody wants that topic.

What is it?

Be nice to have, breathe sweet? Look, I am as mystified as you are. Personally,

Charlie, as a human being, I think you ought to be sent back to the factory for

more work. What do you need?

A poor guy?

You can't pour her food with all your brains, machinery, and knives?

Careful, Charlie. To someone who didn't know you, that might sound

embarrassingly like you care.

You finished?

You want to explain something to me, Charlie?

You spend most of your life trying to find out if you belong to somebody, and

you finally get Trapper to accept you, but that doesn't do it for you. And then

there's Harriet Goodstone, who's into hospitals like others are into macrame,

and she finally finds the guy that she's been looking for all her life, and it

feels good to him too, but again, he runs away from it.

What is it you can't handle, Charlie?

Acceptance? Love?

I started out alone, and I made thou fine.

I don't need anybody.

What does it take to get your heart going, Charlie? Jumper cables?

What the hell does it take?

Did you find him?

At a bus station.

What'd he say?

Nothing.

He can't be that much of a louse. He's working at it.

What's it look like? She doesn't care. She's even run out of wisecracks.

Isn't there something we can do for her?

Yes.

We can discharge her.

Discharge me?

That's right, in a couple of days. Is there anybody we can call to take you

home? My God, I'm dying. I'll be out of here soon enough.

Look, we need the bed space.

Miss Goodstone, this is a hospital, not a morgue.

My God, you think you're the only one that Charlie walked out on?

I offered him the hospitality of my home, money, free tuition to the best

medical school on the West Coast. Now, you think that made any difference?

He doesn't want to be a doctor. He wants to be a dealer in Vegas.

What he wants to be is a bum.

He doesn't want another handout. That's all he's ever had.

Oh, listen to who's defending the dealer bum who turned his back on you.

No, I drove him away.

I expected too much.

All you did was offer him something he couldn't handle, a chance to be

accepted.

No.

What are you crying for?

You think you got it worse than Susan Haywood in Our Cry Tomorrow?

Metro, 1955.

Daniel Mann, director.

nice kid yeah kind of hate to see him go yeah it's always hard when they leave

the nest

Bye.