Original subtitles

SEE, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SIMPLICITY.

I'VE HAD THIS TV FOR ABOUT SEVEN YEARS.

THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.

YOU GO "POWER ON." IT COMES ON.

SIMPLE CLICKER.

VOLUME CONTROL. PIECE OF PISS. WORKS EVERY TIME.

WHAT THE (bleep) THIS (bleep)

THIS IS -- THIS IS --

THIS IS NOT ALLOWED. WHAT'S HAPPENED TO IT?

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS (bleep) THING?

JACK!

♪ CRAZY ♪

♪ HEY, BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES ♪

♪ MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ♪

♪ LIVIN' AS FOES ♪

♪ BUT MAYBE ♪

♪ IT'S NOT TOO LATE ♪

♪ TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE ♪

♪ AND FORGET HOW TO HATE ♪

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ GROWLING ]

I'M TALKING. I'VE GOT ARTHUR HERE.

COME ON, ARTHUR. COME ON, LITTLE ARTHUR.

[ BARKING ]

AND PIPI, WHO'S HOME.

PIPI, PIPI.

[ BARKING ]

SO, WATCH THIS. COME BEHIND ME.

[ CLANGING ]

[ CLANGING CONTINUES ]

(bleep) ME. I'M OUT OF HERE.

GLORIA?

CAN YOU GO AND TELL SAM TO TURN THE SPRINKLERS ON?

BECAUSE THERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON THE LAWN.

THANKS. BYE.

AAAAAAAH!

[ CLANGING ]

Sharon: YOU'RE GONNA GET A TRANSFER, MISSY. [ DOGS YAPPING ]

HEY! OUT!

[ CLAPS HANDS ] OUT!

Jack: I (bleep) HATE EVERYONE IN THIS (bleep) FAMILY.

Jack: SHUT THE (bleep) UP. Kelly: DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT.

DID YOU SEE HOW AGGRESSIVE YOU JUST GOT?

Sharon: HEY. HEY. HEY.

YOU SEE THIS, HERE?

OOH, I SEE THIS.

THIS IS A GOLD FILLING THAT WAS IN MY MOUTH.

OH.

I SWALLOWED IT, AND IT TOOK 10 DAYS TO PASS THROUGH MY BODY.

THAT'S BEEN A LONG WAY, HASN'T IT?

[ LAUGHING ]

I'M GOING TO -- I'M FLYING TO WASHINGTON TONIGHT.

WE'VE BEEN INVITED TO THIS PRESS -- PRESS DINNER

WITH THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AT THE WHITE HOUSE.

GUESS WHAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT?

YOU'RE GOING TO THE PRESIDENT'S HOUSE

FOR A LITTLE DIN-DIN.

I-I-I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.

I-I-I COME FROM -- I'M A STREET GUY.

I COME FROM THE BACK STREETS OF BIRMINGHAM.

YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT ONE.

W-WHERE'S MY -- MY -- MY -- MY VAN CLEEF?

I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THAT ONE, SHARON.

WHY? BECAUSE IT'S AN EVENING ONE.

YOU WEAR IT WITH EVENING -- I'M SORRY.

LOOK AT YOUR -- LOOK AT YOUR CUFF LINKS.

IT'S ALL, LIKE, NEW TO ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE ETIQUETTE IS.

I'M A SLOB, YOU KNOW?

I SCRATCH MY ASS WHEN I WANT TO SCRATCH MY ASS.

IF I GET CAUGHT, SHARON'S --

I'LL BE GETTING NUDGED, DIGGED IN THE RIBS BY MY --

DUG IN THE RIBS BY MY WIFE ALL NIGHT.

I'LL TAKE THIS VAN CLEEF WITH ME, SHARON.

OKAY.

IT'S STILL (bleep) GOING.

SO, KELLY, UH, COVERED MADONNA'S "PAPA DON'T PREACH,"

AND I, UH, BELIEVE SHE'S GONNA BE PERFORMING IT LIVE

AT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS NEXT WEEK, SO...

[ BREATHING ECHOES ]

[ GUNSHOTS ]

[ GUN COCKS ]

♪ HE SAYS THAT HE'S GOING TO MARRY ME ♪

♪ WE CAN RAISE A LITTLE FAMILY ♪

♪ MAYBE WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ IT'S A SACRIFICE ♪

[ Laughing ] STOP!

♪ BUT MY FRIENDS KEEP TELLING ME TO GIVE IT UP ♪

♪ SAYING I'M TOO YOUNG ♪

AAAAAH! OWWW! ♪ I OUGHT TO LIVE IT UP ♪

STOP! ♪ WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW ♪

AAAAAAH! ♪ IS SOME GOOD ADVICE ♪

AAAH! AAAH! ♪ PLEASE ♪

SHE HATES TO COME TO TERMS WITH IT, ACTUALLY.

I HAD A PART, A BIG PART TO DO WITH HER, UH, GETTING SIGNED.

SO SHE'S KIND OF, UH, DENYING IT,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA (bleep) TOTALLY --

JACK, I'M NOT HAVING CHICKS IN MY BAND. IT'S NOT A CHICK BAND.

KELLY --

YES, SHE IS AN AMAZING DRUMMER, UNDENIABLY,

BUT I DON'T WANT A CHICK BAND.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AN ALL-CHICK BAND.

IT CAN BE A GIRL DRUMMER. THAT'S BEING SEXUALIST, KELLY.

AT LEAST -- NO, IT'S NOT. I'M JUST SAYING I DON'T WANT A CH--

IT'S NOT "SEXUALIST."

T-THAT'S SEXUALIST.

JACK, YOU JUST MADE UP A WORD.

[ SWOOSHING NOISES ]

I'VE BEEN UP THE COAST OF ST. BART'S

PLAYING WITH SPIDER MONKEYS TRIPPING ON ACID.

CHANGED MY WHOLE PERSPECTIVE ON (bleep)

[ SIGHS ]

YOU GOT MY PASSPORT, SHARON?

GOT IT. BOTH OF THEM?

EVERYTHING.

JACK -- GOD BLESS YOU, SHARON.

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

GROUP HUG. GROUP HUG. GROUP HUG.

[ SMOOCHES ]

I'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK.

SEE YA. HAVE FUN. WE'RE GOING TO BED NOW.

BYE. I LOVE YOU, MUM.

DON'T GO OUT TONIGHT, JACK. PLEASE?

WHAT? I'M NOT GOING OUT.

JACK, I LOVE YOU.

COME ON, SHARON!

I'M WALKING IN BACKWARDS, LIKE A (bleep) FIDDLER'S ELBOW.

Sharon: I'VE BOUGHT -- I'VE BOUGHT HIM A PRESENT.

Ozzy: WHAT?

SOME CUFF LINKS.

THE PRESIDENT? YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WALK UP TO THE PRESIDENT AND GIVE HIM SOME CUFF LINKS, ARE YOU?

WELL, HOW ELSE IS HE GONNA GET THEM?

NO, NO, DON'T BE SILLY. YOU CAN'T --

NO, OZZY, I CAN. WHY NOT?

YOU CAN'T. H-H-H-H-HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO ACCEPT GIFTS.

YES, HE IS.

NO, HE'S NOT.

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

Sharon: WHAT IS THAT TOWER?

IS THAT THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT?

WHAT GOES ON THERE?

NOTHING. IT'S JUST THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S A FORT.

OKAY.

WHAT IS THAT?

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

GIVE US THE PHONE, TONY. I GOTTA CALL THE PRESIDENT.

HEY! PUT HIM ON THE PHONE...NOW!

DO YOU LIKE BUSH, SHARON?

I DON'T KNOW HIM.

I'M GONNA SUCK UP TO THE OLD PREZIE.

I'M ALL NERVOUS, SHARON, I'M GETTING STAGE FRIGHT.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

Now.

AAH!

I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Kelly: I'M JUST GOING TO REHEARSAL.

NOT MUCH, REALLY. THERE'S A COUPLE OF BARS --

OKAY, BUT I'M HERE NOW. I'VE GOT TO GO.

I'M SORRY, TRACY.

LET'S GO TO KELLY'S LITTLE TRAILER OVER HERE

OKAY. FOR THE -- THE NEWS THING.

YOU NEED SPRITZ. YOU NEED SPRITZ.

MNH-MNH.

DON'T -- KELLY, THAT'S MY SPRITZ!

SHE STOLE MY SPRITZ.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A (bleep) HIT SONG

DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO SPRITZ EVERYONE, ALL RIGHT?

YES, IT DOES.

KELLY, PLEASE.

IN THE EAR! HA HA HA HA!

THE EAR'S NOT NICE. IT'LL GIVE HIM AN INFECTION.

NO, IT COULDN'T.

KELLY, STOP SPRAYING MY PRADA JACKET.

OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS THE (bleep) THING YOU'VE EVER SAID.

I KNOW. "STOP SPRAYING MY PRADA JACKET"?

I WIPE MY ASS WITH YOUR PRADA JACKET, JACK.

I WIPE MY ASS WITH YOUR FACE.

KELLY WANTED TO BE FAMOUS. I NEVER DID.

AND NOW THAT SHE HAS COMPLETE FAME AND SUCCESS,

ALL THAT STUFF, I'M HAPPY FOR HER.

I'M GLAD THAT, YOU KNOW, SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED.

♪ HAPPY JACK WASN'T TALL, BUT HE WAS A MAN ♪

♪ HE LIVED IN THE SAND... ♪

IS SHE HERE?

IS SHE HERE?

♪ THE KIDS WOULD ALL SING, HE WOULD TAKE THE WRONG KEY ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪

♪ SO THEY RODE ON HIS HEAD ON THEIR FURRY DONKEY ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪

GOOD LUCK, KEL. DON'T FALL DOWN THE STAIRS.

♪ THE KIDS COULDN'T HURT JACK ♪

♪ THEY TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED ♪

♪ THEY DROPPED THINGS ON HIS BACK ♪

♪ AND LIED AND LIED AND LIED... ♪

GRR! DON'T DO THAT. OW.

I THINK --

KELLY, STOP! [ GIGGLES ]

[ "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYS ]

Sharon: I THINK YOU LOOK LIKE HARRISON FORD.

Ozzy: OH (bleep) OFF. I LOOK MORE LIKE GLENN CLOSE.

NO, YOU LOOK LIKE HARRISON FORD.

DON'T YOU THINK HE LOOKS LIKE HARRISON FORD?

I THINK YOU LOOK LIKE (bleep) BETTY BOOP. SOME (bleep)

I DO.

YOU LOOK LIKE HARRISON FORD.

THANKS A LOT, YOU (bleep)

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I SAID THE FORBIDDEN WORD THERE.

I'M REALLY SORRY I SAID THAT WORD, SHARON.

WHAT? THE "C" WORD.

YOU KNOW, I'VE FOUND OUT THAT YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING TO A WOMAN,

BUT YOU MENTION THAT "C" WORD,

AND YOU -- YOU SUDDENLY GET THIS FEELING OF DEATH COME OVER YOU, YOU KNOW.

I'M NOT ONLY WALKING DOWN THERE

AND MY (bleep) TROUSERS FALL DOWN TO MY ANKLES.

SHOULD I WEAR A BELT?

I CAN SEW THEM.

DON'T, I -- DON'T -- DON'T DO THAT, PLEASE.

SHOULD I NOT WEAR A BELT?

WEAR A BELT.

Sharon: DON'T MAKE A DEAL ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD, OKAY?

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE JUST GOT OUT OF BED.

WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LET SOMEBODY DO YOUR HAIR?

AND YOU WON'T LOOK --

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE, DAME EDNA?

THAT'S THE WAY I LOOK.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME L-LOOK LIKE CHER.

[ HAIR DRYER RUNNING ]

IS THAT MINNIE? WHO IS THIS? HEY, MINNIE!

[ BARKING ] COME HERE. HELLO.

HI, GRETA. HEY, OZZY. HEY, NICE TO SEE YOU, OZZY. HELLO.

NICE TO SEE YOU. SHARON, YOU LOOK LOVELY.

HI. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN, TOO.

I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS CAME. WE'RE SO EXCITED!

THIS IS ALMOST GETTING ME PREPARED FOR ENGLAND, THIS RAIN.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ENGLAND?

I'M GOING AT 6:30 TOMORROW MORNING.

YOU ARE? YEAH.

WELL, THIS SHOULD BE FUN TONIGHT.

IT'LL EITHER BE FUN OR BAD, ONE OR THE OTHER.

SO, MR. OSBOURNE, ANY THOUGHT OF ENTERING POLITICS?

(bleep) YOU.

HEY, WHERE'S GRETA?

SHE'S -- SHE'S COMING. SHE'S BACK THERE SOMEWHERE.

HEY, GRETA!

SHE'S WAY BACK THERE. SHE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU.

SHARON! WE'RE GOING TO THE MAIN BALL, ALL RIGHT?

HOW YOU DO? JOHN MICA, FROM JORDAN.

NICE TO MEET YOU. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

I LOVE YOUR SUIT. THANK YOU.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN? NOT A DOGGONE THING.

OH, MY GOODNESS! LOOK!

President Bush: WHAT A FANTASTIC AUDIENCE WE HAVE TONIGHT.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

WASHINGTON POWER BROKERS...

CELEBRITIES...

HOLLYWOOD STARS...

OZZY OSBOURNE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AAAAAAAAAAHH!

AAAAAAAAAAHH!

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. TIME FOR US TO GO.

THANK YOU, GRETA. THANK YOU, JOHN.

THANK YOU FOR COMING. IT WAS A PLEASURE, REALLY.

I-I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, TONIGHT.

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER, AS A PERFORMER,

YOUR FIRST PUBLIC APPEARANCE.

MY FIRST PUBLIC APPEARANCE

WAS A FIRE STATION IN BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND.

AND THERE WAS THREE FIREMEN AND A (bleep) JANITOR THERE

IN THE AUDIENCE.

AND I WAS LIKE...

HI, DADA.

YOU SMELL NICE, JACK.

'CAUSE I SHOWERED.

WHY'D YOU THROW A TV OUT THE WINDOW?

THROWING A TV OUT OF A WINDOW IS VERY 1982.

I THINK IT'S (bleep) '72.

JUST DON'T (bleep) AROUND.

I LOVE YOU.

ARTHUR'S SO FEISTY.

YEAH, AND ARTHUR ALSO GOES -- TAKES A FLYING LEAP

INTO THE (bleep) LITTER AND CHOWS DOWN FOR HALF AN HOUR.

IT'S DISGUSTING.

SO GROSS.

IT'S, LIKE, I GO IN THERE, IT'S LIKE -- HE'S LIKE...

AND IT'S, LIKE, STRINGING FROM HIS MOUTH.

[ WOMEN GROANING ]

KELLY, PLEASE, NO GRAPHICS. KELLY...PLEASE.

RECYCLED FISH. HEY.

AND THEN HE GOT SICK FROM IT, AS WELL.

MUM. G-GUYS? CAN WE JUST STOP? IT'S REALLY NOT NECESSARY.

YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD. NO, I'M NOT.

I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT BOOGERS, VOMIT, AND (bleep)

WHO ARE THE TWO PEOPLE YOU'RE GETTING IN TOMORROW?

TIM AND JAIME.

(bleep) OFF! THEY'RE NOT COMING.

YOU KNOW WHAT, KELLY?

YOU DO YOUR LITTLE (bleep) ROCK SHOW AND LET ME ENJOY MYSELF, OKAY?

I HOPE SOMEONE BEATS YOU UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT, KELLY? I HOPE YOUR ALBUM FAILS.

OH, SHUT UP, JACK!

SHE JUST HOPED THAT I GOT BEATEN UP, ALL RIGHT?

JACK, WHERE DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS?

DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. NO, NO, NO.

BECAUSE KELLY IS NOT GONNA BE PLEASED,

AND IF THE SINGER IS NOT HAPPY, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

STOP IT. STOP IT. JACK, I'M SORRY IF YOU CAN JUST NEVER BE HAPPY FOR ANYONE.

I'M ASKING YOU, BABY, WHERE DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS?

DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Jack: WE'RE AT THE MTV AWARDS.

2002.

VULTURES OUT THERE, MAN. BE CAREFUL.

KELLY! KELLY! [ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING ]

I WAS -- ACTUALLY HAD A BIG PART TO DO WITH HER GETTING SIGNED.

SO IT'S KIND OF --

DOES SHE SING IN THE SHOWER?

UM, I DON'T LOOK AT MY SISTER IN THE SHOWER,

AND I DON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR HER IN THE SHOWERS.

KELLY, TURN AROUND!

YOU'RE MANAGING A BAND, RIGHT?

NO, I SIGNED A BAND. YOU SIGNED A BAND?

TELL ME HOW YOUR RECORD LABEL'S GOING.

I DON'T HAVE A RECORD LABEL, ACTUALLY.

HEY, WHAT'S UP? I'M KELLY, AND THIS IS MY DORKY BROTHER, JACK.

I'M HERE TO PERFORM, AND HE'S HERE JUST TO HANG.

EXACTLY. I'M A LEECH.

I NEED TO GO FIND NATALIE PORTMAN.

♪ OH, NATALIE, WHERE ART THOU? ♪

BE THERE, RIGHT?

YEAH, I'LL JUST BE LIKE -- IF SHE'S THERE, YOU'RE THERE.

I'M JUST A GUY IN THE CORNER. YEAH. WHEN SHE LOOKS, YOU'RE THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU KNOW JANELLE, HER PUBLICIST?

VERY WELL.

IS SHE WITH HER TONIGHT?

RIGHT NOW. THE -- THE PUBLICISTS ARE THE SAME.

WELL, CAN YOU JUST TELL THE PUBLICISTS

THAT ALL I JUST WANT IS JUST TO HANG OUT WITH HER TONIGHT?

I'M WAITING FOR NATALIE PORTMAN.

ALL RIGHT, WHO'S THIS? WHO'S THAT?

AH, THERE SHE IS. THERE SHE IS. THERE SHE IS.

THERE'S NATALIE.

[ DOO-WOP MUSIC PLAYS ]

WE HAD A MOMENT. WE HAD A MOMENT. THERE WAS A MOMENT.

FROM THAT MOMENT, IT GROWS. IT'S THE SEED THAT'S BEEN PLANTED.

IT'S GONNA DEVELOP THROUGH THE EVENING. IT'S GONNA BE LIKE --

YEAH. OH, YEAH. YOU'RE SET.

ANYTHING I CAN DO? I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER.

DUDE. AMAZING. AMAZING ASS. COOL FRIEND.

WHAT A TROUPER. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.

ARE YOU OKAY?

DON'T BE NERVOUS. BREATHE DEEP.

RIGHT NOW, WE'RE WALKING TOWARDS KELLY.

SHE'S ABOUT TO GO ON. WE HAVE TO HURRY.

AAH!

GOD, NO. MY SISTER...

GOOD LUCK. HAVE FUN. THANK YOU.

OH (bleep) OH (bleep) OH (bleep)

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

I COULDN'T BE THERE.

O-O-ONE...TWO...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NO. NEXT ONE?

UHHH!

I-IT'S MY DAUGHT--

(bleep) NO. IT'S --

YES, UH-HUH. [ SMOOCHES ] RIGHT BACK TO YOU.

MY SISTER'S ABOUT TO GO ON! I GOTTA SEE THIS!

NATALIE, CAN I SIT ON YOUR KNEE?

OKAY!

YES! [ LAUGHTER ]

ALL RIGHT. THIS IS -- MY GOAL WAS ACHIEVED.

I'M SORRY. [ LAUGHS ]

Announcer: FROM LONDON, ENGLAND -- OZZY OSBOURNE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I COULDN'T BE THERE, BECAUSE I'M HERE.

THERE'S A YOUNG, NEW, CHARMING SINGER --

(bleep) ME.

IT'S MY DAUGHTER, KELLY OSBOURNE.

[ "PAPA DON'T PREACH" PLAYS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHOO!

COME ON, YOU GUYS, GET THE (bleep) UP!

[ AUDIENCE CHEERS ]

♪ PAPA, I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE UPSET ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WAS ALWAYS YOUR LITTLE GIRL ♪

♪ BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW ♪

♪ I'M NOT A BABY ♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THAT'S MY BABY!

YES!

HOLD ON, GUYS. HERE WE GO, GUYS. RIGHT THERE.

[ CHEERING ]

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT.

[ GASPS ] McRIB IS BACK!

ARE YOU SERIOUS, JACK?

OH, I'M SO EXCITED. THAT IS SO GOOD.

YOU'RE GETTING EXCITED OVER THE McRIB?

YOU KNOW WHAT, KELLY?

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT.

JACK GOES -- [ GASPS ] "McRIB IS BACK!"

SHUT UP! [ LAUGHING ]

YOU KNOW --

YOU ARE SUCH A (bleep) JACK. THE McRIB.

(bleep) YOU. (bleep) YOU AND YOUR LITTLE SINGING THINGY.

RIGHT, JACK.

JUST BECAUSE I'M REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD-LOOKING,

YOU'RE JEALOUS.

AND YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT THE McRIB.

YEAH.

[ GASPS ] "McRIB IS BACK!"

YEAH, YOU WISH YOU COULD GET EXCITED ABOUT LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT.

HERE WE ARE.

♪ JOY TO THE WORLD ♪

♪ WE ARE HOME AGAIN ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

YO, OZZY.

OZZY! OZZY! OZZY!

[ WATER SQUIRTING ] AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAHH!

OZZY! YEAH!

WE'RE IDIOTS!

YES! GET IN THERE!

OZZY! YEAH!

Kelly: I'M MOVING TO NEW YORK FOR TWO MONTHS

TO FINISH MY ALBUM.

WHY DOES MUM HAVE SO MUCH (bleep)

I TELL YOU WHY -- I'LL TELL YOU WHY YOUR MUM HAS SO MUCH (bleep)

'CAUSE SHE'S THE BOSS.

(bleep) (bleep) BOLLOCKS.

OH, MY GOD.

COME ON. LET'S GO. LET'S GO, GUYS.

COME ON.

Sharon: I CAN'T QUITE BELIEVE IT,

'CAUSE IT'S ALL HAPPENED SO QUICK.

JUST A FEW MONTHS, OUR WHOLE LIVES HAVE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN,

AND EVERYBODY'S OFF DOING DIFFERENT PROJECTS.

EVERYTHING IS REALLY GREAT FOR US.

AND I THINK SOMETHING'S GONNA COME AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

KNOCK US ON THE CHIN, AND...

'CAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD.

I'M ALWAYS, LIKE, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE, LIKE,

I KNOW -- TYPICAL JEWISH MOTHER.

SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN.

IT CAN'T BE THIS GOOD. YOU KNOW?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

AAAAAAAAAAHH!