Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

[BELL TOLLING]

The plane! The plane!

[WOMEN GIGGLING]

-Good morning, boss. -Good morning, Tattoo.

Let's go.

Smiles, everyone! Smiles!

[♪♪♪♪♪]

TATTOO: Boss, that's Clay Garrett!

I saw him on TV.

He's the star of True World Adventure.

ROARKE: Yes, Tattoo.

And the attractive young lady is Miss Kerry Dawson,

his researcher and scriptwriter.

The gentleman with the camera

is Mr. Tom Spencer, Mr. Garrett's partner.

-Boss. -Hmm?

We are on TV. Say "cheese."

Are they here to film one of their true adventures?

Yes, but I'm afraid true adventure tempts fate itself

and almost certainly will imperil all their lives.

You see, Tattoo, Miss Dawson's fantasy

is to solve a world-famous mystery

that occurred nearly 50 years ago.

What mystery?

A noted flyer and explorer of that time,

a Miss Wilma Dietrich, disappeared with her plane

while flying near here in an area which became known as the Devil's Triangle.

So Miss Dawson wants to duplicate that flight?

Precisely. And there is, unfortunately,

the complication of another kind of triangle.

You mean, a...

Yes, Miss Dawson is totally unaware

that both Mr. Garrett and Mr. Spencer

are deeply in love with her.

ROARKE: Mr. Charles Raines, a mailman from Templeton, California.

He is a jazz enthusiast who used to play with a high school band.

What's his fantasy, boss?

He wishes to play a very special kind of jazz, Tattoo,

play it perfectly,

play it as it was conceived back in the early days in New Orleans.

You mean like Bix Beiderbecke,

Jelly Roll Morton, and Louis Armstrong?

Yes. And in particular, a Mr. Camptown Dodds.

But I doubt if Mr. Raines realizes the possible dangers of his fantasy.

What danger? How can he get hurt listening to music?

Jazz was born in a stormy era, Tattoo.

Its vitality reflects many passions, love and laughter,

but also the pain and violence of those times.

Mr. Raines will never really understand the music

unless he experiences all those emotions himself.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

I am asking all of you, but especially Miss Dawson, to reconsider your plans.

Oh, come on, Mr. Roarke.

We're the team that survived storms, wild animals,

and once, a remote island tribe

had us penciled in for their dinner menu.

-[CHUCKLES] -KERRY: Clay's right, Mr. Roarke.

So, as they say, let's get the show on the road.

However, I remind all of you that in re-creating the exact meteorological conditions

that existed 50 years ago, when Miss Dietrich disappeared,

I have also had to re-create

whatever unknown phenomena existed at that time.

Well, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Then you have only to get into the rover, follow that trail over there,

and your fate will be in your own hands.

That's all?

That's all.

This trail has got to end at a landing strip. That's the only answer.

What I'm worried about is video equipment. I should be taping all this.

Hey, we do what Mr. Roarke said, it'll all work out fine.

-Have a little faith. -Hmm.

[ENGINE WHIRRING]

Well, you couldn't wish for a smoother takeoff,

courtesy of Mr. Roarke.

Do come in, Mr. Raines.

Please have a seat, won't you?

You look troubled.

Well, to tell you the truth, I think I'm a little scared.

Of what, may I ask?

Well, maybe of...

Of actually having my fantasy fulfilled.

Actually meeting Camptown Dodds.

You see, I'm just an amateur.

I haven't played an instrument since high school.

Perhaps you should have been a professional musician yourself, huh?

No, no.

I'm realistic about one fact, Mr. Roarke.

And that is, I don't have a real talent for music,

except listening.

Well,

I'm sure we can do something about that.

After all, this is your fantasy, Mr. Raines.

ROARKE: Take it.

A cornet?

I don't play horn.

Try it, just a few notes.

Try it, Mr. Raines.

[PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

He's right, boss, he cannot play horn.

Well, however, take the instrument along anyway.

Perhaps you will improve.

Now, if you'll come this way, Mr. Raines. Tattoo.

ROARKE: Thank you, Tattoo.

You'll be less conspicuous in that clothing.

These?

It was a flamboyant period, Mr. Raines.

[BAND PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

Well now, boy, are you going to play that thing

or are you going to stand there and look pretty?

[STAMMERING] Well, I... I don't...

Come on now, brother. Blow. Blow for old Camptown.

As a matter of fact, blow nice and sweet for my friend here,

so he'll know that you're sorry that he's gone.

And gone on to a better place than this.

Camptown Dodds?

At your service.

Okay, let's hear it, sport.

All right. You asked for it.

[PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

[LAUGHING]

Oh, don't stop!

I declare, Billie Joe, we done found ourselves a new horn man, sure enough.

New is right, Camptown. New is right!

Well, come on, handsome. Let's strut.

[BAND PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

MAN: Hey, Lieutenant, you can get rid of Camptown. Just frame the new guy.

I don't get it.

These headings that Mr. Roarke marked on the chart

lead straight to nowhere.

Take a look at this compass. It's swinging all over.

That thing's gone crazy.

It's not the only thing that's going haywire. Look.

What's going on?

I don't know.

Clay, you're going to tear off the wings.

This baby's got a mind of her own.

I can't pull her out!

Around here, somewhere, they lost contact with Wilma Dietrich.

She was never heard from again.

Mayday! Mayday!

[BUTTONS CLACKING]

The radio's dead.

Clay, look! Over there, there's an island.

CLAY: I'll try to get us there.

Right rudder, Kerry. Help me.

CLAY: Hard!

We're going in.

Hold on.

BILLIE JOE: ♪ Won't you come along with me

♪ To the Mississippi?

♪ We'll take a boat to the land of dreams

♪ Steam down the river down to New Orleans

♪ The band's there to meet us

♪ Old friends to greet us

♪ Where all the light and the dark folks meet

♪ Heaven on earth They call it Basin Street

♪ Basin Street

♪ Is the street

♪ Where the elite

♪ Always meet in New Orleans

♪ Land of dreams

♪ You'll never know how nice it seems

♪ Or just how much it really means

♪ Glad to be

♪ Yes, siree

♪ Where welcome's free

♪ Dear to me

♪ I can lose

♪ My Basin Street blues ♪

[ALL CHEERING]

Oh, that was all right. All right!

Thank you, Camptown. Thank you.

Now come on, gals.

You're not getting paid for toe-tapping. You hear?

I want you to do something for me, honey.

I want you to take him up to your room.

'Cause Lord knows, that's the only way

I'm gonna get the paying customers to start doing some paying.

Wait a minute, Mama.

We ain't gonna do no playing for a while.

Me and the boys, well, we got some business

we want to settle up with Charlie.

I think you know what I mean.

All right, get that bar open.

Move it, ladies! Come on, move it!

I say he's good enough. He's a little rough,

but when he plays, there's magic in his horn, and he'll learn.

And me, well... I'm satisfied.

How about y'all?

-Good with me. -Yeah, any time.

Well, let's drink to it.

Billie Joe, go out and fetch that swamp juice, gal.

[CHUCKLING]

Camptown, what are we celebrating? What's the occasion?

Hold on. Wait a minute.

This little shot glass here, it just ain't fitting.

This is a special occasion, initiation for our new front man.

-Me? -Mmm-hmm.

No, no, Camptown, I don't...

There. That's better.

[EXCLAIMING]

What do you mean, new front man?

You thinking about retiring?

You're gonna have to knock that back in one.

It's a tradition down here.

Oh, I get it. It's all part of the fantasy, huh?

Mr. Roarke put you up to it, right?

Mr. Roarke? Who's Mr. Roarke?

[DRUM ROLL]

That's it, Charlie. Down, down, down!

[MEN LAUGHING]

MAN: Come on, Charlie. Come on.

Down, down, down!

[LAUGHING]

Whoo!

What next?

[LAUGHING]

Well, uh... What's next?

Go on upstairs and get acquainted with Billie Joe,

like Mama said.

That's if your legs can navigate them stairs.

Oh, well, here.

Come on, Charlie.

[LAUGHING]

[EXCLAIMING]

Everything is so numb.

I'm sorry, Charlie, but now you belong.

I guess I'm gonna have to try real hard to live a couple of more days

to help you shake them wobbly blues.

What do you mean, live a couple of days more?

Well, uh...

Charlie...

I'm gonna die.

Sure as shooting.

Yeah.

I'll be dead soon enough,

and you're gonna be running the band.

[LAUGHING]

It's no joke, Charlie.

It's no joke.

CLAY: Well, looks like we lost our landing gear.

Looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while, kiddies,

wherever here is.

Doesn't seem to bother you.

Why should it? As Kerry pointed out, we're alive.

And I've got my love to keep me warm.

And you've got enough videotape to make a feature out of it.

Just another true adventure, is that the way you see it, hero?

You'd better read that script again.

'Cause I'll tell you where here is.

It's an uncharted island

in the middle of an area where some strange conditions occur.

He's right, Clay.

That color we saw up there, so vivid,

and that strange movement...

Wait, wait. Are you trying to sell me Devil's Triangle?

Right.

Well, sell our public. The ratings need it.

Roarke certainly came through with what Kerry asked for,

a fantasy worth a million dollars of free publicity.

Look, you don't understand.

Kerry could have been killed.

We could have been killed.

Look, Tom, if you've got a problem, you don't have to hide behind her skirts.

Knock it off, you two.

We've got a problem, all of us.

Roarke tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen.

Now we've got a radio that's dead,

the plane won't even roll, let alone fly,

and I'm marooned out here in the middle of nowhere

with two overgrown schoolboys.

Now look what you've done.

Me? You're the one who's making a big deal out of this.

You're trying to capitalize on the situation, hoke it all up.

Well, look who's talking.

Who was it that chucked raw liver to those crocs in the Nile

to get their teeth to show?

Oh, yeah? Well, what about the time you bribed those natives in Samoa, huh?

Had them put war paint on and charge the cameras.

All they wanted to do was watch television.

And what about the other time...

KERRY: Someone help me, please! Please!

[ROOSTER CROWING]

RAINES: Oh, boy. Somebody hit me.

BILLIE JOE: Just hang on. You'll live.

No, I won't.

[GROANING]

I'm definitely not all right.

Hell, I can't even get through day one of my own fantasy.

Your fantasy?

Here, I'll get you some bicarbonate.

Billie Joe?

Did we, uh...

I mean, did I...

[LAUGHING]

All you did was a lot of snoring.

Wait.

What did Camptown mean about me taking over the band,

and him being dead?

Mr. Dodds meant exactly what he said, Mr. Raines.

Mr. Roarke, what are you doing here?

Making sure your fantasy is satisfactory,

that you are indeed feeling all the passions,

the love and hate, the melancholy and joy

that were the soul of jazz music.

Satisfactory? Are you kidding?

Camptown keeps talking about dying.

Are you telling me that's true?

Yes.

He is going to be killed.

Why?

When you met Mr. Camptown Dodds,

he was returning from the funeral of a friend,

who, along with Mr. Dodds and Mama, own this place.

Well, this friend,

how did he die?

He was murdered?

Yes, Mr. Raines.

His friend refused to sell opium in this establishment.

It wasn't even illegal in those days, even fashionable.

It was a matter of conviction.

And now, Mr. Dodds has also refused.

Why doesn't he go to the police?

The killers are the police in this area.

A certain Lt. Lavalle.

Well, Mr. Roarke, you can stop him.

There's got to be a way.

We could get Camptown out of here.

I'm sorry, but even I cannot change history.

Nor can I change a fantasy once it has begun.

[DOOR OPENING]

Please, Mr. Roarke!

Mr. Roarke?

Now you're talking to yourself?

Here.

This will make you feel better.

Don't move, Kerry.

It's all right, Kerry. Come on. The snake's dead.

Everything's all right.

Tom, she's been bitten!

Hold her. I gotta get this poison out.

Easy, honey.

-[GASPS] -Hold her, Tom.

TOM: I've got her. I've got her.

Kerry, this is nothing.

You remember the time that Clay caught his foot in that giant clam shell?

And I told him to do it again?

Mmm-hmm.

But first, let me go get my camera?

-[SPITS] -Now, you've gotta do the same thing.

Next time you have a real-life adventure,

you let me in on it, will you?

Tom, that's all I can do for her.

We got to get her back to the plane.

All right.

Come on.

She's out.

Shock.

What kind of snake is that?

A pit viper.

We've got to get her some medical attention fast.

[PLAYING "SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT"]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC ENDS]

Smooth, if I say so myself.

Now I finally learn how to play it right.

Camptown, are you crazy?

You're going to sit here and wait to be killed?

You think I should run, don't you?

Yeah!

I don't want to lose you, Camptown.

I've come a long way to find you.

You could go to Chicago or to Memphis.

There's a whole new school of jazz springing up in the next few years.

Jazz?

But what is jazz, Charlie?

That's what you're playing, Camptown.

Who says so?

A fellow named Scott Joplin.

Well, I know Scott Joplin.

What gives him the right to name my music?

Forget it.

He probably hasn't even found a word for it yet.

Huh?

Camptown, I'm begging you.

Would you please run?

Charlie...

I wouldn't get to the end of this block,

let alone Memphis.

It's too bad.

I sure got a whole lot of music left in me.

But if you want to help out,

there's something you can do for me.

As a matter of fact, a couple of things.

You name it.

Well...

Billie Joe here,

she's a fine gal.

Oh, Charlie, Charlie.

Take her out of this place.

I'll do my very best.

What else?

Well...

I want you to play your horn at my putting away.

I want it done proper, Charlie,

so folks will remember how it was.

Will you do that for me? Will you promise?

I promise, Camptown.

Well, now...

Why don't you two get out of here, so a virtuoso like me

can go on with his practicing. Now go on with yourself.

Oh, now, now, now. Come on, let's not have none of this.

Go ahead, now. Go on with yourself. Go on.

Come on!

Shame we happened to see him shoot down poor old Camptown in cold blood.

[CHUCKLES]

Tom? Why haven't you told her yet?

Told her what?

The way you feel about her.

I didn't think it showed.

The reason's simple.

I've seen the way she looks at you when she thinks nobody's noticing.

You don't read the signals very good, pal.

It's you she has special eyes for.

Clay, I've been doing some thinking about that busted landing gear.

Has it occurred to you that Wilma Dietrich flew into this area?

Maybe she crashed on the same island.

It's possible.

I know what you're thinking.

If we can find her plane,

maybe we can salvage enough of it

to get this ruptured duck airborne.

Yeah.

I'll go out when it gets light.

No, we can't wait till morning.

Kerry's running out of time.

Okay.

[SIGHING]

You stay here with her.

Any idea where I should look?

It's a small island.

I may be gone all night. Don't go away.

Oh, Clay.

I'm sorry I got you and Tom into this.

It's all my fault.

Nothing's your fault. I did all the pushing.

All I could think about were those damn ratings on the show going down every week.

The flight was my idea.

I wanted to help.

Both of you.

Tom?

Where's Tom?

Take it easy. Take it easy. Tom's all right.

He's going to fix the plane so we can get out of here.

He loves you, Kerry. You know that?

Yes. I love him, too.

Now you just lay low here until morning.

Then we'll see what we'll see.

Okay?

All right.

Who was that?

That was Mama.

Oh.

And what did she want?

She just wanted to give me a little advice.

She told me to leave and take you with me.

What do you think about that, Billie Joe?

I don't know, Charlie.

I like you.

Maybe I could learn to love you.

[SIGHS] I just don't know if I could leave.

I don't understand. You want to stay here?

Are you asking me...

What's a nice girl like me doing in a place like this?

And you're scared to find out that if I were a nice girl,

I wouldn't be in a place like this in the first place.

No. I never said that.

This is the only home I have ever known, Charlie.

I'm an orphan.

Mama took me in when I was just a kid.

She's been as good to me as she could.

She never did make me do anything.

I finally volunteered

because I wanted to pay her and Camptown back for taking care of me.

I guess I understand.

You're disappointed, Charlie, because I'm not what you want me to be.

Oh, no, Billie Joe.

I was just thinking about the future.

Do you think I don't worry about that?

Mama does, too. We've talked about it.

But, Charlie,

you're the first man who ever has.

I want you to remember that.

And before day breaks,

you and I are going to sneak out of here,

and I'm going to find a safe place for you.

Tomorrow...

I'm going to be at that funeral tomorrow.

Mama told me that Lt. Lavalle will be waiting for you.

He's looking for you.

I have to do it, Charlie,

for Camptown.

I made a promise, Billie Joe,

and I got a plan that just might work if I'm lucky.

But I want you out of it.

I'm sorry, Charlie.

I'm going, too.

DODDS: Play your horn at my putting away

so folks will remember how it was.

Promise me that you'll do that.

Hell,

we'll go together.

This has got to be it.

NC-6.

It is! It's Wilma Dietrich's airplane.

Thank God. We got our spare part.

[RATCHETING]

I don't want to make it too tight.

Is it going to work?

It's got to.

Yeah.

Well...

That should do it.

Let's go.

True World Adventure's answer to a wing and a prayer,

a landing gear and a prayer.

Let's get Kerry.

Kerry? Come on. All aboard. Come on.

There you go.

-You got her, Clay? -Yeah.

Here you go.

All right, come on, partner.

That gear's hanging on by two threads of a nut and a rusty brace.

Just have the rescue team bring me a corned beef on rye.

There isn't going to be any rescue team, you know that.

Nobody else is going to fly through that barrier, or whatever it is.

Now get your butt on the plane.

We all go out of here together.

It's been fun here, all the way,

but you've got a girl in there that's worth more than both of us put together.

And the less weight on that wheel, the better her chances.

Get her out of here before I change my mind. So long, tiger.

-Tom. -What?

You always were a sucker for that punch.

[GRUNTING]

TOM: Seventy-five knots. 80.

Pull it up!

Lift off!

Well, at least you didn't knock off that wheel getting us airborne.

Don't strain yourself thanking me, pal.

It's the wings we've got to worry about now.

There's no way around it.

None.

We're going through. Hang on.

TOM: This crate can't take much more.

We're out.

[PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

Mama.

Here, sport.

Something you hinted you might use.

Every good front man doubles on another instrument.

There's nothing more to say, Camptown.

You were a good man,

always deserving much more than you got.

I apologize for the whole world

for what they done to you.

[PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

[ALL GASPING]

No need to use the gun, Lieutenant.

I'm giving up.

I don't think so, kid.

[GRUNTING]

Drop it!

Drop it!

On the other hand, maybe you ought to pick it up again.

Give me a good excuse to pull this trigger.

Now wait a minute, mister.

You shot Camptown!

No. Wait. Please.

You saw it. I didn't shoot Camptown.

Lavalle did. Lavalle did it.

You all heard that?

We sure did.

And I reckon we've got enough witnesses here

to hang a Supreme Court judge.

Now we got us some playing to do.

[BAND PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

ROARKE: Your fantasy is over, Mr. Raines.

You must come with me now.

But Camptown... I promised him I'd play...

His friends will complete the sendoff.

Mr. Roarke, let me take Billie Joe back with me.

That, I'm afraid, is not possible.

She must remain here in her own time frame.

I'm sorry.

No, Mr. Roarke.

I won't leave her here. I won't!

Billie Joe! Billie Joe!

Billie Joe!

Billie Joe, where are you?

She's all right, Mr. Raines.

You have seen to that.

I give you my word.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Miss Dawson, I am delighted to see you're fully recovered

and out of the hospital so soon.

Me, too.

Well, thank you.

Well, I'm the one that's been snakebit, and for too long.

But Kerry's finally given me the cure

by saying yes to a very important question.

Oh, then you have resolved your own little triangle?

KERRY: With a little difficulty, yes.

When I got over the shock of the two guys I care for most

trying to give me to each other,

I did a little explaining about love as in friend

and love as in husband.

How did Mr. Spencer take it, Miss Dawson?

He took it fine, just fine, Tattoo.

I haven't got time for the domestic scene, anyway.

See, I've got a new true adventure.

I'm going to videotape their marriage

in front of 10 million viewers for television.

I have it all sketched out.

Hey, wait a minute. I'm producer of this show.

And this is my marriage.

Look, hero, even you know what we have here.

I mean, the mystery of Wilma Dietrich is solved,

heroine near death, bitten by a snake,

romance.

It blooms beside the flower of death. You like that?

Well, everything's back to normal, Mr. Roarke.

Thank you...

I think.

-Goodbye, Tattoo. -Bye.

Well, thanks for everything, Mr. Roarke.

I hope your fantasy was everything you wished for, Mr. Raines.

Well, almost, Tattoo.

Just one more thing would have made it complete.

ROARKE: Oh, that reminds me.

You will have a companion on the flight home,

a lovely young lady who had her own fantasy.

You see, sometimes we are able to combine two fantasies, as in this case.

It makes it more rewarding.

Well, this young lady wanted to trace her roots to New Orleans,

where her great-grandmother, a certain Miss Billie Joe,

inspired by the concern of a mysterious gentleman

who appeared briefly in her life,

rehabilitated herself and lived to be a happy, fulfilled

and charming old lady.