Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

The plane! The plane!

[PARROT SQUAWKING]

[♪♪♪]

[HICCUPPING]

Tattoo, don't tell me that you still have the hiccups.

[HICCUPPING] I do, boss.

I've tried everything,

but I can't get rid of it.

Well, that's odd. Breathing into a brown paper bag

always turned the trick for me.

May I see your bag?

No wonder, look. Oh, who's that?

[BAG POPS]

[GASPS] What did you do that for?

To frighten away the hiccups.

You almost scared me to death.

But I also scared away the hiccups, didn't I? Huh?

Yes... You did, boss. Thank you very much.

Now, shall we go and meet our incoming guests?

[♪♪♪]

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

[PLAYING LUAU MUSIC]

Boss, who are they?

ROARKE: Mr. and Mrs. Atwood, Charles and Peggy.

All the way from Salina, Kansas, where they own a hardware store.

TATTOO: Why do they look so unhappy?

Because neither of them wants to be here, Tattoo.

How come they are here?

They came here to please their three children,

who purchased the fantasy for their parents.

To make their parents miserable?

No, Tattoo, no, no. They want us to recreate

the romantic weekend 35 years ago

when Mr. and Mrs. Atwood met, fell in love, and were married.

It occurred during one of the most dynamic eras

in American history, 1944,

when World War II was in full swing.

That's a pretty romantic idea.

Ah, but there is one slight hitch, Tattoo.

In truth, Mr. and Mrs. Atwood, when they return home,

are going to get a divorce.

Ah.

Captain Jeff Bailey,

perhaps the world's most famous adventurer

and soldier of fortune.

And one of my fevotios too.

And rightly so, Tattoo. Captain Bailey is known

as The Man of a Thousand Adventures.

TATTOO: What's his fantasy?

ROARKE: His fantasy is to earn

$1 million before Monday morning.

Is that possible?

Perhaps, when the man he will be working for is J.D. Pettigrew

and Captain Bailey's job will be to find

the Fountain of Youth.

[♪♪♪]

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪]

Ah, Mr. Atwood. So good to see you.

How does it feel to be back in uniform?

Uh, uncomfortable, Mr. Roarke.

It's not that my weight has changed that much.

It's merely shifted position if you know what I mean.

[CHUCKLES] Indeed, I do. Ah, here comes your lovely partner.

You are beautiful, madam.

Ah-ah-ah. It's mademoiselle, Tattoo.

Since this is, for all practical purposes,

that special weekend in 1944,

we shall proceed on the theory that you are not yet married.

And that explains why I billeted you in separate houses.

That's fine.

Uh, Peg, where did you get

that letterman's sweater?

Oh, I found it hanging in the closet.

Along with the rest of this getup.

Well, if I didn't know better,

I would say that that that is his sweater.

Do you mean, Mr. Brick Howard,

Mrs. Atwood's former fiancé and BMOC?

How do you know about Brick Howard?

ROARKE: It is my business to know.

I am being paid rather handsomely

to recreate a very important time frame in your two lives.

Mr. Brick Howard and many

of your former friends from that period

are here on the island. Well, haven't you noticed?

[♪♪♪]

CHARLES: It is Brick Howard.

He really looks great, doesn't he?

Yeah, just great.

Are you, uh, folks ready to go?

Where? ROARKE: Where else?

To the Salina, Kansas USO

where the two of you originally fell in love.

Shall we?

[INSTRUMENTAL POP PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

CHARLES: It's incredible. I don't believe it.

PEGGY: I don't believe it either.

Everything's exactly the same as it was then, 35 years ago.

How did you do it, Mr. Roarke?

Privileged information.

Well, this is where we part company, at least for now.

Enjoy yourselves.

[♪♪♪]

May I ask you a question, please?

Shoot.

It's something I don't understand.

How come a real soldier of fortune, like you,

can work for such a stingy old man like J.D. Pettigrew.

Tattoo, that's no way to talk about one of our guests.

If you must know, it's money.

That's one thing Pettigrew has plenty of.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Speak of the devil, that's probably old Pettigrew now.

Hey.

Ah, Miss Mason, Mr. Pettigrew. So nice to see you.

Never mind the amenities, Mr. Roarke.

Now that my secretary's fiancé, the famous Captain Bailey

is finally here, maybe we can get started.

Nice to see you again, Mr. Pettigrew.

The only thing you enjoy about seeing me

is the $1 million you hope I'll pay you.

All that depends on Mr. Roarke here.

And the one thing I can't afford to waste is time.

I want some answers, and I want them straight.

When I've heard the questions, you shall have the answers.

I like that. All right.

A short time ago, I came into possession

of a certain curious object.

What sort of object?

Let me have the envelope.

[PAPER RUSTLING]

Boss, it's a head.

A man's head.

A most interesting...trophy.

May I ask how you came into possession of the original?

That is of no consequence.

Let's say I acquired it from a fellow collector.

The only things that do matter are number one,

it came from one of the scattered islands

that surround this place.

Number two, it has been authenticated and found to be

over 150 years old,

yet in perfect condition.

And do you know why, Mr. Roarke?

Because of the water it was treated in.

Water of mysterious undefinable properties.

My team of scientists is convinced

it could only have come from La Fuente de la Juventud,

the legendary Fountain of Youth.

Fascinating.

So now you know

why I am here and what I am after.

And I ask you, does this fountain really exist?

And can it be found?

Or are you some sort of charlatan?

Charlatan?

We never promise what we can't deliver, Mr. Pettigrew.

The fabled fountain does certainly exist,

as do all the fantasies of man's imagination.

May I also warn you about the island

where humans go to find the fountain?

It is said that the tribe of headhunters

who produced your, um,

trophy,

still exist.

It might be wiser if you

and your secretary remained here

and let Captain Bailey try alone.

[CHUCKLES] And let him run off and sell the secret to someone else?

Not on your life, headhunters or no.

His little sweetheart and I

will follow him every step of the way.

So be it. I just hope

you all make it every step of the way back.

Mm-hm.

[INSTRUMENTAL POP PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hey, Charlie!

Peg! It's me, Willie Tucker!

Oh, Willie!

Willie, my goodness!

Oh, hello, Willie.

It's been a long time.

Willie, what are you doing?

Mr. Roarke invited me as your guest.

Hey, come on, let's sit down.

Thank you. You two look terrific.

Likewise.

Where's your better half, Willie?

Doris is dead, Peg.

About a year ago. Her heart.

Oh, Willie, I'm so sorry. Me too, Willie.

We're all so dumb. We don't appreciate what we have

until it's too late.

Hey, I didn't come all this way to put a damper on things.

We had a great life together.

Surely, I got a good boy.

He teaches school. What about you two?

Oh, two boys and a girl. All married, as of last winter.

Well, now that the nest is empty,

I guess you two are really living it up.

[SIGHS]

Hey, did I say something wrong?

Oh, nothing, Willie. Everything's fine.

So to speak.

So to speak? What does that mean?

Well, it means, Willie, that...

Charlie and I are, well, we're getting a divorce.

You're putting me on. Not you two, never.

No, it's true, Willie.

But what happened? CHARLES: Well, no one reason.

Just, well, after 35 years of marriage,

we just ran out of gas. No sparks.

All that distance.

I never dreamed I was coming all the way to Fantasy Island

to attend a divorce.

Hey, I hear Brick Howard's on the island.

He just got his third divorce.

It would be funny, if you two

got together again after all these years.

[CHUCKLES]

[SONG ENDS, CROWD APPLAUDS]

[THE INK SPOTS' "I'LL GET BY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪ I'll get by ♪

Remember that song?

That was always your song.

Hey, do me a favor, will you?

Dance to it.

Are you playing Cupid, Willie?

Anything wrong with that?

♪ Though there be rain ♪

Excuse us, Willie.

♪ And darkness too ♪

♪ I'll not complain ♪

♪ I'll see it through ♪

♪ Poverty ♪

♪ May come to me ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ Say what care I ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

[♪♪♪]

Now, you have the charts and all my instructions.

I would still advise you, Miss Mason and Mr. Pettigrew,

to reconsider.

The natives of the island

you're going to are considered quite dangerous.

We're wasting time.

I will not relinquish command of this expedition.

Not to Bailey, not to anyone. Now, let's go!

Haven't we forgotten something, Mr. Pettigrew?

[GRUNTS] Hmm? Oh.

My certified check here for $1 million

made out in Bailey's name. But bear in mind, Mr. Roarke,

not one penny is to be turned over to him

unless he fulfills our contract.

Unless we find the Fountain of Youth,

he gets nothing.

Fair enough, Mr. Pettigrew.

Understood.

[♪♪♪]

JEFF: All right, start the engines. Be quick.

We've got a long way to go.

[ENGINE RUMBLING]

All right. Let's go.

TATTOO: Boss?

Are we ever gonna see them again?

Who's to say, Tattoo?

Who's to say?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

PETTIGREW: See anything? JEFF: Nothing.

But we're here, all right. This is the island and the lagoon.

All the charts match.

Hand me the pack.

MASON: I have the feeling something's watching us.

PETTIGREW: I haven't come this far to turn back now

no matter who's there or what's there.

I'm staying right here until we find that water.

All right, this way. Let's move fast.

Come on.

What's the matter?

I don't know. Something's not right.

[♪♪♪]

Just back away slowly.

[UPBEAT POP PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Thanks for loaning me your date. Ha.

Boy, am I out of shape.

You're still good, Willie. Very good.

You make me look good. [CHUCKLES]

Peg tells me you own a hardware store

back there in Salina. Very good.

It'll soon be in the past tense. I'm selling the store.

Charlie's going into semi-retirement. Hawaii.

Don't tell me you're going to open up that bait shop

you used to talk about when we were in the Navy.

You have got a real memory.

Hey, you don't need a partner, do you?

I'm sorry, Willie, but this is

strictly a one-man operation.

You know, I know it's none of my business,

but you and Peg,

all this talk about a divorce...

I know what you're going to say, Willie.

I don't want to live in Hawaii.

Salina's my home.

Always has been and always will be.

Yeah, but Hawaii. Have you ever been there?

Oh, yes. Charlie's taken me there several times.

It is a beautiful place,

but my roots are in Salina.

Children, grandchildren.

Memories.

[SONG STOPS PLAYING, CROWD APPLAUDS]

[PLAYING BING CROSBY'S "GOOD NIGHT, SWEETHEART" OVER SPEAKERS]

ANNOUNCER: Folks, this is the last dance.

I can't believe it's that time already.

Care to dance, Peg?

Yes.

♪ Sleep will banish sorrow ♪

♪ Tears and parting ♪

Are you looking for someone?

I just thought maybe Brick might be here.

I guess all of our lives would have been

pretty different, wouldn't they?

If you two had gotten married.

Remind me to tell you sometime,

you are still a very good dancer.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it's been a long time.

For lots of things, Charlie.

♪ Goodnight, sweetheart ♪

♪ Still my love Will guide you ♪

[HEADHUNTERS DRUMMING]

[HEADHUNTERS SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[HEADHUNTERS CHANTING TO DRUM BEATS]

[SCREAMS]

You die.

[GRUNTING TO DRUM BEATS]

Jeff, I'm scared.

Looks like we're all shrunken head candidates.

You!

Big fella, chief!

We come as friends.

Great white chief bring magic.

Magic box.

Big strong magic.

[HEADHUNTER GROWLS]

[SCREAMS]

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

Magic?

Even stronger magic.

I have his soul. His spirit, captured.

It is true. Look. It is true.

The priest bothers us.

I will keep his soul.

Why you bring magic, come to this village?

To see your magic water.

I know you have it.

Come.

[HEADHUNTERS MURMUR, CONTINUE PLAYING DRUMS]

[♪♪♪]

[WATER DRIPPING]

This must be it.

I think we have found it.

The Fountain of Youth.

It is called the dew of life.

Once, it ran full and broad.

Now, only a few drops each day.

Chief, priest, and elders

allowed to drink now and then to stay alive.

How old are you?

Me, 140.

Some, 200 years, 300.

Oh.

This water, I would buy some of it.

I will pay you money. All the money you want.

Silver money. Gold!

Gold not make man young.

But you must share it.

I don't want it all.

Just a little. Just a little.

Water, gift of gods. Not sell for gold.

Oh.

[♪♪♪]

I will have this water!

No!

You mustn't kill great white chief.

His magic will kill you all.

[GRUNTING]

You go!

Never come back or you die!

[WHIMPERING]

[HEADHUNTERS MURMURING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[♪♪♪]

[HICCUPS]

Boss, boss, you've got to help me.

My hiccup is back. Yes, so I hear.

[SUCKS TEETH] The remedy I gave you didn't work?

No. The only thing I got

is a bump on the head.

From holding your breath?

Held it so long that I fainted.

[♪♪♪]

[HICCUPS]

[♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You know what was so great about 1944?

We were too young to worry about the future.

The only thing that was important was now, today.

Let tomorrow take care of itself.

Mm-hm.

What are you thinking about?

The look on your face

when you saw your eldest son for the first time.

Mmph. Tommy took one look at me

and started bawling his head off.

[CHUCKLES] You were a total stranger.

Tommy was what, uh, a year old before you ever saw him.

Thirteen months.

I didn't think the Navy would ever ship me home.

Mm. I'm glad they did.

I was particularly grateful you were around

when Scotty got so sick.

Mm. I remember the doctor saying polio.

I didn't know what to do.

I remember what we did.

We got down on our knees right there in the hospital room

and asked God to spare Scotty.

It really was a miracle, Charlie.

Not even a limp.

We had so much going for us in those days, Peg.

But where did it go?

[CAR ENGINE IDLING]

[HORN TOOTS] All right, you two!

Enough of this exclusivity.

We're all going swimming,

and you're both going to go with us.

[♪♪♪]

Peg, still as beautiful as ever.

Come on! Come on.

I never thought we'd get out of there alive.

I keep thinking they're watching us.

I think you're right. In fact, I know you are.

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]

Look, look where the water touched my hand.

This is like my skin when I was young.

Unbelievable.

That's incredible.

PETTIGREW: I could be that way all over, young again.

If I only had a little more of the water.

Bailey, I'll double my offer.

Two million dollars for one canteen of the water.

That's insane! They'll kill us all

if we don't get off the island.

Come on. Three million.

You've got yourself a deal.

Three million payable on our return.

Yes, yes!

Are you both crazy?

You heard him. For $3 million I'd go to hell and back.

Tama, hand me the canteen and my pistol.

Tina, get aboard the boat.

All right, now, you listen carefully.

Watch for me on the beach.

When you see me, start the boat engine

and I'll swim out there.

If I don't make it, keep going.

Don't wait for anything. Got it?

You got it. Got it.

Okay.

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

One more point and I win. Ready?

Ready.

[GROANS]

Twenty-one, I win.

Just like the good old days.

I never was any good at sports.

Speaking of sports.

Good afternoon. I'm sure

you all remember Brick Howard.

Brick.

How could they forget that, uh,

Peg and I were engaged to be married. How are ya, Peg?

[CHUCKLES] Fine, Brick, and you?

Never better. You still married to this swabbie?

She is.

Win a few, lose a few. Hey, Willie, how are you?

Okay, Brick.

Well, I imagine you have a great deal to talk about

so, uh, if you'll kindly excuse me.

Me too.

You're looking mighty pretty, Peg.

Oh, thank you--

You're still wearing my letterman sweater.

She was cold. It was the only one in the closet.

Let the lady speak for herself, Chuck-baby.

The name is Charles.

Why so hostile? We haven't seen each other in...how many years?

Aren't you gonna ask what I've been doing?

Oh, what have you been doing?

I'm an airline pilot. The biggie, 747.

From L.A. to Paris run.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, how nice.

Oh, Mr. Roarke said something about you opening

a bait shop in Hawaii? Heh.

Can't cut it in the big city, eh, Chaz?

Oh, Brick, why don't we dance?

Shall we? Oh, come on. You've got it, baby.

Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Atwood.

Not really. Something is wrong?

That flyboy you brought over at the USO,

Brick Howard, he's what's wrong.

I'm afraid I don't understand.

It's not your fault, Mr. Roarke.

It's just that I never could compete

against Mr. Everything. Nobody could.

Compete against him for what? Peg.

She couldn't wait to get out

onto that dance floor with him.

Oh.

It's been said that, um,

"Jealousy is but a blister

on the heel of matrimony," Mr. Atwood.

It has also been said

that Brick Howard is a first-class jerk,

and I'm the guy who said it.

But once, you won Peggy's favor over his, didn't you?

What makes you think you can't do it again?

I'm 54 years old.

I'm not the guy I once was.

Brick Howard is also 54, isn't he?

Yes, but he doesn't look it.

At least, not to me.

Well, you're obviously

feeling sorry for yourself, Mr. Atwood.

My advice would be for you to stand up

and fight for Peggy

if that is what you really want.

Good afternoon, Mr. Atwood.

[♪♪♪]

[ANIMALS SQUAWKING]

[GUN COCKS]

Come here often?

What are you doing?

I thought I told you, stay on board.

I'm coming with you. Are you crazy?

Probably. But you can't pull this off by yourself.

It's the only way I can pull it off. Go back.

I'm not going back.

Listen, I've handled guns all my life, and I'm good.

Okay, but if this thing backfires--

It won't.

Now, why don't you begin

practicing the power of positive thinking.

Because I keep thinking about those natives

with two more shrunken heads to their credit.

Still want to go? Mm-hm.

Come on.

[♪♪♪]

[ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING FROM DANCE HALL]

Come on, Charlie. Cheer up.

What for? Peg's gone off with that leech of a playboy.

Wrong.

Mind if I sit down?

It's not too original, but there's an old saying

that three's a crowd. Good luck.

Now, about this afternoon. Peg--

You don't owe me any explanation.

Mr. Roarke pronounced us single for the weekend, remember?

Charlie, I grabbed Brick and started dancing with him

to prevent what was rapidly deteriorating into a fight.

I didn't want you to get hurt.

I repeat, you don't owe me any apologies.

I suppose if anyone should apologize, it should be me.

I don't know what you mean.

Pfft. Our life together.

I guess I always knew that it was a one-sided love affair.

I took advantage of you

by marrying you on the rebound from Brick.

It wasn't fair.

I loved you so much...

I guess I hoped that, in time...

Ironic, isn't it? This cornbowl luau?

You know, this is where we first thought we were in love.

I think that's what turned me on to Hawaii in the first place

and somehow I-- I just got it fixed in my head

you and me and the luau...

Two days later, I was off to the war.

You know, that was the last time we were alone?

Just you and me.

There were the kids, and...

Charlie.

Peg. I'm sorry.

I never meant to hurt you.

Maybe you and Brick can be happy now.

I won't stand in your way.

[♪♪♪]

[GOAT BLEATING]

What are we gonna do with it?

What?

All that money, the $3 million?

[SIGHS] Bank it, where it's safe.

Why don't we splurge on an Acapulco honeymoon?

When you get to my age and can't qualify for credit

you don't splurge on anything.

You're just cheap.

You notice anything strange about that village?

TINA: What? JEFF: Hardly any men.

Means they probably went out to make sure we left the island.

Which means we don't have much time.

Wait, you can't go down there now in broad daylight.

[SIGHS] With their appetites, I don't wanna hang around for dinner.

Just stay here.

If anything happens, run for the boat.

Just run. Keep running.

Jeff.

[♪♪♪]

[GOAT CONTINUES BLEATING]

[♪♪♪]

[SKULL RATTLES]

[GRUNTS]

[SQUAWKS]

[MURMURING]

Come on, let's get out of here.

I dropped the gun back there.

Forget the gun.

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Come on, we've got to make the boat.

Oh, ow.

I hurt my leg.

[GRUMBLING]

Okay, we're here! Start the engines!

Jeff!

Jeff, I can't make it.

My leg! Come on, Tina! We got it made!

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Jeff, hurry!

I can't! PETTIGREW: Canteen!

Save the canteen!

PEG: Jeff, hurry! PETTIGREW: Canteen!

Jeff, save yourself! Hurry!

PETTIGREW: The water!

The water!

The water.

[GUNSHOTS]

The water. Go on back. Go back.

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] [GUNSHOT RESOUNDS]

[VOICE FADING] Go back, to the water.

[GUNSHOT]

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

Sir! Are you all right? Can I help?

Let's go.

Peg?

Oh, I was hoping you'd come back.

Peg, I don't...

But...

I thought you would be with Brick.

Oh, Charlie.

There's something we really should've discussed

35 years ago.

The fact that you married me on the rebound

after Brick jilted me for some general's daughter

who could have helped his career.

Look, Peg-- No, I guess...

I always let you think that was a little true.

But you love him. You can't deny that.

Oh, I did love him, yes.

And when he jilted me I thought I'd die.

Then there was you.

And I realized

that I never knew what love was before you.

But?

That was 35 years ago.

Why did you come back here tonight?

I suddenly remembered taking a vow

that says, "Until death do us part."

You mean, you still love me?

Well, I'm certainly not talking about Brick Howard.

He couldn't carry your tacklebox.

Tacklebox?

It is what you call it, isn't it?

I mean, I thought I ought to start using

the official terminology

if I'm going to help you with the bait shop.

You mean, you're coming with me?

But what about Salina?

Oh, Salina already has a bait shop.

Please, let me come.

[QUARTER JINGLES, JUKEBOX BUZZES]

[INK SPOTS' "I'LL GET BY" PLAYING ON JUKEBOX]

♪ I'll get by ♪

♪ As long as I ♪

♪ Have you ♪

♪ Though there be rain ♪

♪ And darkness too ♪

[♪♪♪]

Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Atwood, I hope you enjoyed your stay with us.

We were both prepared to hate it,

but it turned out to be a fairy tale.

[CHUCKLES] We always try to provide happy endings.

That nostalgia trip back to 1944 wasn't bad either.

But we're looking forward to the future, now.

And 35 more years of marriage.

[BOTH CHUCKLE] Oh, at least.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Mrs. Atwood.

Goodbye, Tattoo.

Goodbye, Mr. Atwood.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Thank you, Tattoo.

Miss Mason, Captain Bailey, any regrets?

Not at all. Broke or not, we'll make it together.

Well, I would scarcely feel broke

with $1 million.

I don't get it. J.D.'s check.

You found the fountain, didn't you?

Technically, that's all you agreed to do.

You see, before Mr. Pettigrew was taken to the hospital,

where he will recover,

he asked me to give you that check.

I guess people fool you sometimes, huh, Mr. Roarke?

Sometimes.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Captain.

Good luck. Thank you, Miss Mason.

Thank you.

Well, boss, that was nice.

[CLICKS TEETH] Yes, it was.

[HICCUPS]

Oh, no. Not again, Tattoo.

[HICCUPPING]

Well, I'm afraid this calls

for the ultimate remedy.

I can't guarantee that it would work,

but an old island legend insists that it works.

[CONTINUES HICCUPPING]

So far, so good, but, uh, what do I do next?

Well, you will have to kiss each one of these comely maidens

and then, according to legend, your hiccups will disappear.

I get to kiss all three of them?

I'm afraid so, Tattoo.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, boss, it works. It really works.

Well, of course. You see, every legend has its-- Oof.

[ROARKE HICCUPPING]

[CROAKS]

Boss, you've got it.

[ROARKE CONTINUES HICCUPPING]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]