Original subtitles

[♪♪]

[BELL CLANGS]

The plane! The plane!

[GIGGLING]

Tattoo, what’s wrong?

It’s nothing, boss. It’s nothing.

I’ll be okay. I just have to take it slow and easy.

But you’re walking like a 90-year-old man.

It shows, huh? Oh, well,

age creeps up on you before you know it.

One day you are young

and healthy and strong, and the next,

here’s the rocking chair staring at you.

All right, Tattoo, what’s all this talk about old age?

What is it?

It’s not all talk, boss. Look.

What?

Look, boss.

[♪♪]

A gray hair?

My first.

I find it right here. Really?

Well, unless you are due at the old age home

in the next few minutes, I suggest we greet our guests.

Oh...

[♪♪]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

ROARKE: Ah, Miss Esther Bolling and Miss Sally Glover,

all the way from Terre Haute, Indiana.

What’s their fantasy, boss?

One shared by millions the world over, Tattoo.

The two young ladies wish to go on a shopping spree.

TATTOO: Anybody can do that.

Really?

With half a million dollars to squander?

Half-million dollars?

Yes. But, boss,

where are they gonna get that money?

From the soap company

which sponsored the spending spree.

TATTOO: A half-million dollars to spend as you wish?

What a fantasy.

Ah, but at what price, my friend?

The cost could prove quite dear.

TATTOO: He looks kind of familiar, boss.

Who is he?

Mr. Charles Wesley,

possibly the world’s foremost big-game hunter.

An adventurer with formidable credentials.

He has lived for thrills of the chase.

Perhaps the intangible rapture

of risking his life and winning.

Now probably bored with

lack of new challenges, he’s come to us.

Boss,

you’re not gonna let him hunt

the big game on Fantasy Island, are you?

Yes...

and no.

Perhaps I should rephrase it.

Wesley has come to the island

seeking the biggest adventure of his life.

TATTOO: And that’s this fantasy?

ROARKE: Yes. He’s asked me

to choose the quarry.

His only stipulation is that the hunt be

exciting and dangerous.

Eh, boss, what have you chosen for him?

Well, naturally, I followed his instructions, Tattoo.

His experience will be more exciting and dangerous

than he ever imagined.

[♪♪]

My dear guests,

I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪]

Uh, this is our main shopping district.

As you can see,

it does have limitations as to the number of stores.

It’s not gonna be easy to spend your money.

Don’t worry, we’ll spend it like Houdini, don’t worry.

Won’t we, Sal? Oh, yes.

Um, you do realize, of course,

that the Squeaky Clean Soap Company,

which sponsored the contest you won,

laid down certain rules.

We have to spend all the loot within 48 hours.

Right. And if we do,

we get to keep everything.

Right. And if you don’t,

you will have to bring everything back.

Right. What else, Mr. Roarke?

You are allowed to purchase one of each item only. One.

In other words, one piece of jewelry,

not the entire stock of a jewelry store.

And should you wish to make any

short-term investments, the maximum you can invest

is $25,000.

Is that all? Not quite. You must pay

fair market value for all items purchased.

This is to preclude

throwing your money away on paltry items, is it clear?

Clear. Clear.

My able assistant here will act as judge.

He will, therefore, pop in on you from time to time,

merely to observe.

SALLY: Oh, I know,

to see if we’re cheating or--

We would never do anything like that.

Would we, Sal? No, no, no.

Oh, I am sure you wouldn’t. No.

Each bag contains

$250,000 cash.

And the contest begins right...

now.

Good luck, ladies. Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.

[♪♪]

Gosh, look at everything.

Hold it, Sal. We’d better take a check.

Just a quick check.

[GASPS]

I’ll say!

SALLY: Oh, wow!

Let’s start with that dress shop over there.

Hold it. Don’t forget the game plan.

Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry, Esther.

What’s the first on the list?

First we hire a truck to carry everything we buy.

Hire a truck? We buy a truck!

And a driver to go with it!

What if the driver’s not for sale?

Come on, let’s go. He’ll go.

[LOUD GUNFIRE]

Ah, good morning, Mr. Wesley.

Morning, Mr. Roarke.

I hope I didn’t disturb your other guests.

But I wanted to zero in my sights before the hunt begins.

I see. Very prudent.

And very precise.

Well, I guess everything is taken care of,

other than you telling me what I’m going after.

Tell me, Mr. Wesley, would you consider

a Siberian tiger to be a worthy adversary?

Yes, I would.

They’re big and fast and as dangerous as they come.

Big and fast, true. But are they really so dangerous?

I mean, the animal must get close to its enemy

to use its fangs and claws.

However, with this claw,

you can reach out and strike them

at two or three hundred yards.

And what is the stopping power of this cartridge?

A ton of energy or more?

Combined with your demonstrated skills,

the odds against any animal

seem ridiculously stacked in your favor.

What are you getting at, Mr. Roarke?

I have given

your fantasy much thought, Mr. Wesley.

And for a quarry that will truly,

I mean truly test your skill, if that’s what you still want,

I’ve chosen this.

A General Lin Sun of the Republic of Chung Tu.

A man? You want me to hunt a man?

An unusual man of many reputations.

His many supporters call him

the George Washington of his country.

An enlightened benefactor and force for the future.

Now, his enemies call him a corrupt

and ruthless dictator.

If you’re asking me to kill him, the answer is no.

I don’t want you to kill him, Mr. Wesley.

Just shoot him.

With this.

A camera.

It’s already been engineered to fit on your rifle.

Oh, come now, Mr. Wesley, why do you hesitate?

You did ask for

a dangerous hunt, did you not?

And if General Sun’s enemies are to be believed,

he is the most dangerous animal in the world.

If you accept the challenge,

this map shows the way

to his villa on the other side of the island.

There are soldiers

posted around it 24 hours a day, armed,

of course, with automatic weapons,

and have orders to shoot to kill.

[♪♪]

I did ask for it to be dangerous.

Yes, you did.

I’ll see you Monday morning, Mr. Roarke.

I sincerely hope so, Mr. Wesley.

[♪♪]

Ready, Sally?

Never been readier, Esther.

Good.

MAN: My most expensive item, you say?

ESTHER: Yes. MAN: Well, I’m afraid, ladies,

you’ve caught me with my inventory rather depleted.

But I do have one extraordinary necklace.

The most perfectly cut diamonds set in platinum.

We’ll take it. You didn’t even ask how much.

Okay, how much?

Forty thousand dollars.

She’ll take it.

Oh, Esther, I wanted you to have it.

But it’ll look darling on you.

Oh, Esther, I insist.

Okay, just in the interest of time.

But after the contest, I want you to have it for keeps.

You know what, Esther?

You’re the nicest friend a girl ever had.

Same to you, Sally. She’ll take it.

[♪♪]

Wow, we could really go to town in here, Sal!

Yeah. Look at those expensive price tags.

Can you believe them?

Jeez, feel that cash register. It’s so hot, it sizzles!

Excuse me, I’ll take that.

And that too.

[♪♪]

WESLEY: So far, so good.

[DOGS BARKING]

According to the latest communiqué,

our forces are gathered here and over here.

The capitol must fall, Excellency,

within the next few days.

Which means we shall soon be going home.

What do you think, Lee? Does that please you?

If it pleases you.

The news people are still waiting for a statement

on your return to power.

All in good time, Colonel.

Now leave us, please.

[CRIES]

[DOGS BARKING]

You, my little friend,

are gonna help me distract those soldiers and their dogs.

Have no fear.

You’re far too clever for them.

[♪♪]

[DOGS BARKING]

[SCREAMING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[DOGS CONTINUE BARKING IN THE DISTANCE]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[♪♪]

WOMAN: Oh,

thank you so much, Mr. Tattoo.

You’re so wise.

I will advise you further tonight at dinnertime.

Tattoo, what’s happened to your hair?

It looks like you’re turning white overnight.

You like it, boss?

Well, uh...

It’s part of my new image.

The mature man is in.

A girl trusts a man who looks experienced.

And one gray hair wouldn’t do it.

I see.

Boss, trust me. It works like a charm.

Excuse me.

Ah, my dear,

I’ve been giving some major thought to your problem.

Why don’t we discuss it near the lagoon, hmm?

Get away from me.

You dirty old man.

[♪♪]

Win some, lose some.

SALLY: We want to buy $25,000 worth

of your most worthless stock.

But all my customers come here to make money.

Tri-Continental Oil couldn’t find oil

in Rudolph Valentino’s hair.

Great! That sounds terrific!

Last chance, Mr. Dow.

Will you or won’t you sell us Tri-Continental Oil stock?

Well, the customer’s always right.

[♪♪]

Wow!

ESTHER: This is genuine,

honest-to-goodness

millionaire’s crystal.

How are we doing on time, Sal?

SALLY: Who cares about time? Just spend.

We going too fast for you, Tattoo?

We don’t want your calculator to burn out.

We can always buy him a new one.

One? We’ll buy him a carload.

You very nearly succeeded in your mission, Mr. Wesley.

You know me?

From your identification.

Who paid you to assassinate me?

Assassinate you?

Afraid that’d be awful hard to do.

I only had a camera gun.

This is your rifle?

Yes.

I don’t understand it.

Someone must have loaded it.

Come now.

Then where’s the camera?

I’m telling you, I only had a camera gun.

Unfortunately, there is no evidence

to support your contention that you brought with you

only a camera gun.

Which leaves me with but one alternative.

Tomorrow at dawn you shall be executed.

[♪♪]

The news men have heard

of the attempted assassination, Your Excellency.

I see.

They know he’s an American?

They’ll find out soon enough.

The situation must be handled with delicacy.

It wouldn’t be good public relations

to shoot an American on the verge of my return to power.

In politics,

image is everything.

Don’t you agree, Mr. Wesley?

I do, if it’ll keep me away from the firing squad.

Tell the news people they can question him tomorrow

at a noon press conference.

They can see for themselves that he has not been mistreated,

and will receive a fair trial once my regime is reestablished.

Yes, Excellency. Wisely handled.

A fine man, Colonel Chang.

And much more idealistic

than that old battle-scarred face might suggest.

So much so, I’m not always able to tell him the whole truth.

But now,

as I was saying...

you’ll be shot at dawn.

[♪♪]

You know what, Sal? This is my idea of fun.

Something I dreamed about all my life.

Ditto. I was born to spend money.

And spend and spend and spend.

Bye. Thanks a lot.

You’re wonderful. Thank you.

Bye. Thanks a lot.

[HONKING]

SALLY: You know what, Esther? ESTHER: What?

This is just like Christmas morning, without all the snow.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

I can’t wait till the guys back home

see us with our half-million dollars worth of goodies.

Yeah. You like this black dress, Sal?

Not really. Yeah, it is rather tacky.

But I’ll take it. [LAUGHS]

Will you kindly sit still?

Kind of uppity, aren’t we?

FYI, Mr. Hudson is not in the habit of making house calls.

FYI, he is when he gets a thousand dollar fee for it.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Mr. Hudson, I trust we’re not interfering

with your endeavors. Well, why not?

Everybody else does.

Good afternoon, ladies. Good afternoon, Mr. Roarke.

Well, it seems that your shopping spree

is progressing very nicely, isn’t it?

Smooth as silk. We just stopped in here

to recharge our batteries. Me too.

Yes. Well, I am pleased that you did,

because I have something rather unusual to tell you.

This telegram arrived a short while ago

from the president of the Squeaky Clean Soap Company,

sponsors of the contest.

It seems that uh, my original

interpretation of the rules was in error.

See, instead of spending the half-million dollars as a team,

you two ladies are competitors.

Competitors? Competitors?

That’s what my boss said.

You mean we have to try and outspend each other?

Precisely. But that means...

It means that the first one

to spend all her money is the winner, you see?

And if neither of you

spend it before the deadline,

you both lose.

But Mr. Roarke,

me and Sally, we’re friends, not competitors.

ROARKE: I understand, Miss Bolling. I understand.

I, therefore, suggest that you both

look upon it not as competition.

No, no, no, merely as an enjoyable interlude.

[♪♪]

Well, good luck to both of you. Tattoo.

Uh, ladies, the nails look very nice.

Thank you very much.

Esther, what are we gonna do?

Simple.

You’re gonna win the contest.

Why me? Because you’re my best friend.

Besides, you need it more than I do.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Oh, come on, no offense, honest.

Just that we both know you have more trouble

getting your act together than I do.

Is that a fact? Sure.

Admit it, you really could use the money.

Look, you could cash in some of your items

and get your face fixed.

What’s wrong with my face?

For one thing, your nose is crooked.

You’ve been saying that for years.

And both of your ears are too big.

As long as we’re gonna talk about big,

how about those gun boats you walk around on?

You could cash in your winnings and get your feet shrunk.

You know the contest I was letting you win?

Yeah. Well, forget it. I’m gonna win.

Ha! That’s what you think.

No, that’s what I know. Goodbye.

[♪♪]

You’ve come a bit early, haven’t you?

It’s not gonna be dawn for a half-hour.

I had trouble sleeping.

Your conscience bothering you,

for shooting an innocent man?

Actually, it was anticipation of the hunt.

An emotion you should understand well, Mr. Wesley.

You said anticipation of the hunt.

Not anticipation of the kill.

That slight difference, that has significance?

Oh, I think one follows the other,

as dawn is about to follow the night.

You know that my rifle was equipped

with a camera only, don’t you?

Yes.

I’m beginning to...

to see all the worst

in myself exposed in you.

With a small difference.

I give them a chance.

A slimmer one than I used to admit, maybe, but...

but I never stood them in a corral

or up against a wall and shot ’em.

You’ll get your chance, Mr. Wesley.

You have a certain reputation as a hunter.

But tell me,

have you ever been the hunted?

I don’t follow you.

You’ve got that wrong, Mr. Wesley.

You see, I’m going to be following you.

In exactly 20 minutes,

I’m going to withdraw the sentries

guarding the south wall.

You shall be allowed to escape.

You mean you’re going to hunt me?

Yes, with your own gun.

Isn’t it time you realized what it’s like to be hunted?

Twenty minutes, Mr. Wesley.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Well, gentlemen, shall we begin the hunt?

[DOGS BARKING]

Release the dogs.

[DOGS WHIMPER]

What’s wrong with the dogs?

Gunpowder, General.

To get into their noses so they lose the scent.

[DOGS WHIMPERING]

[♪♪]

SALLY: Hurry. The rules say we have to start shopping together.

ESTHER: Impossible. I have to wash my gunboats.

[SHOWER RUNNING]

Now she’ll never run out of money.

[♪♪]

This’ll fix her wagon.

Ah, there you are, Mr. Roarke. Tattoo.

I must thank you for making my fantasy

so interesting thus far.

I am pleased everything is

to your liking, Mr. Collins.

It’s more than I ever dreamed of.

Uh, we sail with the tide.

You know, I feel like Captain Ahab in Moby Dick.

Oh, pardon me. Yes, sir.

Boss, what’s his fantasy?

He wants to touch the great white whale?

No, Tattoo. Mr. Collins’ fantasy is to be marooned

on a deserted island.

Marooned? He must be crazy.

No, it’s not so crazy,

not after you see Mr. Collins’ crew.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHS] Oh, control yourselves, mates.

We’re not even marooned yet.

As soon as we get to the island,

we’ll have some champagne and caviar.

Here we are. [SCREAM]

[♪♪]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Take him to the villa. I’ll go on alone.

But General-- Do as you’re ordered!

[♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

ESTHER: Roller skates?

Well, of all the cheaters, she takes the cake.

I’ll get her.

Where is it? Where is it?

Where-- Where’s what?

The sable coat you advertised in the newspaper!

I see it!

I got it!

I saw that first! Ladies, will you stop that?

No, I saw it! Stop it!

My sable! Stop that!

[RIPPING NOISE] Now, give me it!

SALESMAN: My precious sable.

Thirty thousand dollars worth.

I’ll pay for it! No, you don’t! I’ll pay for it!

Here, here’s half. Here you go. I’ll pay for it.

And here’s mine. I paid half.

Don’t bother wrapping it.

I’ll just wear mine out.

Ditto, ditto.

Oh, thank goodness I found you.

Ladies, I’ve got the greatest news.

Well, what is that both of you are wearing?

Oh, it’s a long story.

Tri-Continental Oil actually struck oil.

You made a profit of $100,000.

You call that good news?

I thought you’d be pleased.

Your profit. Fifty thousand each.

Oh...

Thanks a lot.

Hm. I’m really sorry.

I’ve got less than an hour,

and you give me $50,000 to spend.

Ah, good afternoon, ladies.

How goes your shopping spree?

Not so good, Mr. Roarke.

The rich get richer.

Well, I came to warn you.

Be very careful of your bags.

A purse snatcher has already struck three times.

He did? I’m afraid so.

A purse snatcher, huh?

Yes.

Where did that happen?

Three blocks from here.

Three blocks, you say?

[♪♪]

Wait for...

Excuse me.

I understand there’s a purse snatcher

on the loose around here. That’s right.

In that case, I’d better be careful.

I’m carrying a big wad of money in my purse!

Money! Have I got money!

Next to my wad, your wad is chicken feed!

Why don’t you get lost? I staked out this area.

This is a public sidewalk.

I’m heading in that direction,

and I hope you head in the other direction.

I’ve got to be very careful! I’m carrying a lot of money!

Careful!

How much are your pencils?

It depends on, it depends on how much you wanna give.

Uh, can you crack a $100 bill?

Hundred dollar bill? Crack it?

I could do better than that. I can take it!

Just the man we’ve been looking for.

Nice work, lady.

You’re really fast on your feet.

Let’s all go down to the station.

Why me?

You got a $5000 reward coming to you

for the capture of this purse snatcher.

Oh, gosh.

Do I have to accept it?

What I mean is, I really don’t need the money.

Well, I don’t know.

This has never happened before.

Why can’t we pretend like it never happened at all?

SALLY. Uh, listen,

just give my reward to the uh,

Policeman’s Athletic League, okay?

Well, if you say so.

Oh, I definitely say so. See you.

[♪♪]

ROARKE: The animal must get close to its enemy

to use its fangs and claws.

With this claw you can reach out and strike them

at 2- or 300 yards.

Odds, Roarke.

There’s no chance at all.

[GUNFIRE]

With a rifle of this caliber,

I could easily shoot through the wood and kill you, Wesley.

I’d prefer to do it face to face.

Come out, please.

Come out, please.

[GUNFIRE]

ROARKE: Quickly, gentlemen.

[GUNFIRE]

Well done. Come, gentlemen.

Are you all right, Mr. Wesley?

I am now.

What’s the meaning of this, Colonel?

Lee found this in your drawer and brought it to me.

I had to stop you from killing him.

That’s ridiculous.

He’d escaped.

I just recaptured him and was going to bring him back.

ROARKE: Your men have already told us the truth, General.

They confessed you knew Mr. Wesley

only intended to photograph you.

But you were hunting him down to kill him anyway for sport.

You see, Mr. Wesley,

Colonel Chang also had a fantasy,

that a successful revolution

would not return General Sun to power.

As I told you, the General has many reputations

and many of his people believed the good one.

The wrong one.

After these gentlemen tell what happened here today,

I am sure the people of Chang Tu

will choose someone else to head their new government.

I don’t know how to thank you.

I believe this is yours, Mr. Wesley.

From your dejected looks,

I would say that we don’t have a winner. Correct?

I’ve got 25,000 left.

I’ve got nearly 27.

Oh, that’s too bad.

Though it’s not quite 5:00 p.m. yet.

You will excuse me if I tend to the needs of these two

unfortunate gentlemen, won’t you?

You see, they, uh, live on a neighboring island

and their farms are literally sinking into the ocean.

They’re already under two feet of water.

Hold it! Mr. Roarke!

Their farms, by any chance, wouldn’t be for sale?

Oh, no, no, no, you don’t understand.

You see, their farms are... I’ll give you $27,000

almost for your farm. Is it a deal?

Deal.

I’ll give you 25,000! What do you say?

I say okay.

Oh, oh, take it.

[LAUGH]

Well, it looks like we have a tie.

Are you ladies absolutely certain

that you have no more money left?

Now I suggest that you each give your bags

one final check, hmm?

[♪♪]

Why, you!

Me? What about you?

Thirty seconds left, ladies.

Twenty-eight.

Twenty-four. Ah!

[CAR TIRES SCREECHING] [SCREAMS]

Go ahead, Esther. You still have time to win.

I’m all right.

Ah, to hell with the contest.

How do you feel?

I’m more scared than hurt.

SALLY: I’m sorry.

I think I just scraped my knee.

[LAUGHS]

I am so sorry, ladies.

I’m afraid you both lost.

Did we, Mr. Roarke?

Did we, indeed?

[♪♪]

[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

What will you do for thrills

now that you won’t be hunting trophies anymore, Mr. Wesley?

I’m not sure.

I spent so much of my time risking my life,

I never learned how to enjoy just living it.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke.

You’re very welcome. Tattoo.

Goodbye. Bye-bye.

Well, goodbye, gentlemen.

It’s been a very enlightening weekend.

Not to mention expensive.

[LAUGHS]

Since you were both permitted to keep one item

as a consolation prize, um,

I am very anxious to know what each of you chose.

Well, to me, Mr. Roarke, the most meaningful gift

was the one Esther got me.

It’s a hand-carved gold inlaid pool cue.

Beautiful!

Don’t get caught behind the eight ball.

[LAUGHS]

What did you choose, Miss Bolling?

Something very special that Sal bought me.

This is, open it--

A carrying bag for my bowling ball.

Mink lined.

[LAUGHS]

Ah, but I’m sure the most precious gift of all

was the restoration of your friendship, wasn’t it?

As a wise man once said,

we should all keep our friendships

in a constant state of repair.

We’ll remember that, Mr. Roarke.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Roarke.

Goodbye, Miss Bolling. Bye, Tattoo.

Bye-bye. Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.

Goodbye.

Ah, Tattoo,

I see your hair is back to its normal color, huh?

Yes. I guess I panicked a little too soon.

One gray hair does not mean that you grow old.

Well, of course not!

Oh! What did you do, boss?

Nothing, nothing.

Did you find another gray hair?

No. Yes, you did.

Come on, show me.

Come on, I want to see it.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]