Original subtitles

[♪♪]

[BELL CLANGS]

The plane! The plane!

[GIGGLING]

Good morning, boss. Good morning, Tattoo.

Well, you seem rather light on your feet this morning.

I knew it. It shows already.

Oh, it does indeed.

Uh, whatever "it" is.

I’m taking dance lessons.

Dance lessons?

By mail. It’s fantastic!

They said after ten lessons,

I will become just like Fred Astaire.

Really?

Look at this boss.

Hmm?

Recognize it?

The hula.

Right.

Watch my hands.

They’re supposed to tell a story.

I have been watching your hands and you know what they told me?

What?

That we are going to miss our incoming guests

unless we leave here right now.

[♪♪]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles!

[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

Mr. Brian Kehoe all the way from Texarkana, Texas.

Mr. Kehoe is a rodeo clown.

But for this weekend he wants to be a star of the rodeo

with all the trappings that go with it.

I know why he wants to be a star.

Why? Because they get the girl.

Mr. Kehoe wants to impress someone

much more important than that, Tattoo.

He wants desperately to impress

his 11-year-old boy, Tommy.

You mean his son does not know that he’s a rodeo clown?

I’m afraid not.

Father and son haven’t seen each other for nine years.

After Mr. and Mrs. Kehoe were divorced,

Mrs. Kehoe kept him from visiting the boy.

Mmm, that’s hard. Yes, it is.

But, uh, Tommy kept in touch with his father by using

an old friend of Mr. Kehoe’s as a go-between for the letters.

Unfortunately, Mr. Kehoe wanted Tommy to be proud of him

so he told many untruths in his letters.

Untrue, you mean, uh, like if he was a rodeo star?

And now he wants you to make it come true.

Boss, is something wrong with her?

She’s dressed like she’s just arrived from the North Pole.

That is Nadine Winslow and her husband, Harvey.

Unfortunately, the good woman

lives in a perpetual state of influenza.

Also, gout, heartburn, shooting pains, allergies,

and an incredible array of symptoms

which have defied diagnosis

at some of the finest medical facilities in the world.

You mean she’s a hypochondriac?

Yes, but she sincerely believes

her ailments are real so for years

she’s lived the life of noble suffering.

TATTOO: That must be a bummer for her and her husband.

[NADINE SNEEZES] Precisely why her fantasy

is to find a cure for her many illnesses,

and thus bring her misery to an end.

But, boss, how can we find a cure

if she only thinks she is sick?

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

[♪♪]

BRIAN: The boy’s, uh, mother died.

They, uh...well, they sent Tommy to live with his aunt.

[CHUCKLES] Poor lady had to listen

to two months of that boy pleading just to see me.

When I, uh, learned she finally gave in, I...

kind of felt like the steer in line at the slaughterhouse.

Once we met it wouldn’t take that boy long to figure I’d been

lying to him all this time about my being a big hot dog.

You know what I mean?

We will certainly do our best to see that everything is, uh,

okay.

Shall we go in, Mr. Kehoe?

Yeah.

Wow.

[LAUGHS]

Whoo! Hey, ain’t this something?

Is everything to your satisfaction, Mr. Kehoe?

Are you kidding? I, uh, I never, uh...

never seen a place like this much less stayed in one.

Oh, I’m very pleased.

Call me Barrels. Everybody else does.

Oh, Mr. Kehoe, on Fantasy Island

you are a man of considerable stature.

You will notice the championship emblems

and trophies are engraved with your name.

No one will be calling you Barrels here, no.

Uh, what about my boy? Uh, when’s he get here?

Tommy’s already on the island and anxious to meet you.

He is, huh?

Yes. I’ll take you to see him in an hour.

In the closet you’ll find a wardrobe befitting

a rodeo star.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yes.

You know something, uh,

if that woman hadn’t a been so hateful, God rest her...

never would have had to write any of them lies.

Yes.

I will see you in an hour.

Will you excuse me?

[♪♪]

[LAUGHS]

[NADINE SNEEZES] ROARKE: Gesundheit.

NADINE: Oh, thank you.

Oh, I hope my fantasy comes true.

I hardly have the strength to go on anymore.

Mr. Roarke.

Uh, yes. DOCTOR: Miss. Winslow.

[SNEEZES]

Gesundheit.

I’m Van Helsing,

and I’ve just completed my preliminary examination

of your case history. Yes, and...?

And I find it quite interesting. Sit down please.

Why don’t you just say what

all the other so-called experts have said.

There’s nothing wrong with me.

I suffer, suffer, suffer, nobody can find anything wrong.

Will you cross your legs, please?

[SIGHS]

Now tell me please if this feels

like a sharp pain or a dull thump.

Sharp pain.

Dull thump.

Sharp thump.

No, no, no, thumping sharpness.

Hmm.

What is it?

You can’t find anything wrong with me, can you?

On the contrary, dear lady,

this merely confirms my previous diagnosis.

I’m afraid I find a great deal wrong.

In fact, I’m afraid you don’t have long to live.

What?

Dr. Van Helsing,

surely there is a gross error.

You think I would be mistaken in a matter serious as this?

If she takes care of herself, proper diet,

rest and so forth,

Mrs. Winslow has perhaps as much

as five or six weeks.

Oh, my poor, dear lady.

All those years of agony, and you were right all along.

Yes, I said I was sick.

And this is the proof.

I’m going to die.

You can’t get sicker than that.

Oh! I’ve got to think.

Excuse me.

Well...

You were absolutely magnificent.

I think so too.

You know, it’s always been my fantasy to play doctor

and to be able to inform a patient of fatal illness.

So that was the icing on the cake.

You will, of course, inform the poor lady

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her?

Oh, of course. Of course.

But, um, I think for the moment we should let her

luxuriate in her sorrow.

And now I believe you have other patients

due to arrive, doctor.

Oh, yes a whole-- Whole chorus line with chest colds!

[♪♪]

BRIAN: I sure feel like a gussied-up rooster.

If I were you, I’d try to relax a little, Mr. Kehoe.

The father your son is expecting,

the king of the rodeo, wouldn’t be nervous.

And there he is.

He’s a much finer-looking lad than in the pictures

my sidekick sent me.

Indeed he is. Uh, well...?

Aren’t you gonna introduce us or something?

Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?

Tommy?

Dad!

How are you, boy?

Good to see you, Dad.

God, it’s good to see you, boy.

I’ve been waiting for this a long time.

Kevin,

this is my dad I’ve been telling you about.

He’s the best bronc-riding, bull-dogging,

bull-riding cowboy ever.

It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.

Well, uh, nice meeting you, Kevin.

I promised Kevin you’d tell us about the time in Dallas

when you won all four events.

Well uh, maybe Kevin doesn’t, uh, care about hearing about

all about that rodeo stuff.

[DISTANT LAUGHTER] Hey, look who’s here!

Boy, that horse... TOMMY: That’s Casey West.

...stood across it like a slate rock--

Next to my dad just about the most famous rodeo rider

in the world. Hey, look, boys,

let’s just take a walk around the house.

Brian! I was hoping I’d get to see you.

How you doing? Just...just fine.

I-I’m-- I’m just doing fine. Nice to see you, boys.

Well, now which one of these young broncos

is the one you’re always talking about?

Uh, well, this is uh, this is my son.

My son Tommy.

And this is his friend, Kevin.

Howdy, Tommy. Howdy.

Kevin? How you doing?

It’s a real honor to meet you, sir.

Oh, very nice compliment from a boy whose father

is as famous as he is.

Say, I wanna thank you for inviting me to compete, Brian.

I mean, it’s a privilege.

Believe me, it’s a real privilege.

Mr. Kehoe, it’s a real honor

to ride against a man like you.

Me too, Mr. Kehoe.

CASEY: It should be a lot of fun.

Looking forward-- Casey, come on.

Coming. See you in a while.

Uh, hey, uh...

Fellows, just a m-- Uh, hey, look, you boys,

why don’t you just go and wait for me.

I’ll be right with you. Okay.

Mr. Roarke?

Hey, uh, what’s going on? I mean, uh,

those boys are some of the biggest names in rodeo.

And what in blazes are they thanking me for?

For inviting them to compete in the Brian Kehoe Invitational.

Well, it seemed only proper that, uh,

one of the old time greats would put on his own rodeo

and invite only the best to compete against him.

Compete against me?

[SCOFFS] Look, Mr. Roarke, I, uh...

I used to be a fair to middle in bronc rider

about a dozen years back or so, but,

well, that was before I got all busted up.

That’s why I turned to clowning.

All I was good for, you know.

There’s just no way in the world I’m gonna be able to

compete against those guys.

Have faith, Mr. Kehoe.

Yeah?

Enjoy yourself until the rodeo.

And get to know your son.

I intend to do that.

[♪♪]

Oh, hey.

Hey, T., look at that.

Neatest-looking waterfall I ever saw.

Come on, pal.

[♪♪]

Set, 18, 12, hike!

Go on out in front.

Now! Hey, attaboy!

Come on, bring it in for a touchdown, okay?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Ah, got you that time, tiger.

[SIGHS]

Oh, Dad!

My son.

[♪♪]

Harvey, Harvey, Harvey.

Harvey, for 15 years it’s been just you and me.

Pretty soon it’s gonna be just you and you.

I am so sorry I was delayed, Ms. Winslow.

I didn’t want you to be alone in your time of tribulation.

But, boss, she was not alone. I was right here.

Fixing her many of my famous coconut boom-booms.

I can tell you’ve regained your composure

since Dr. Van Helsing gave you the terrible news.

You must be a very, very strong woman.

Me? Yes, I...

I must be strong all right.

But I’m also pretty selfish. No, no, I can’t accept that.

Yes, selfish! No, no.

When the doctor told me I was through,

I didn’t even think about my husband.

I mean, what’s gonna happen to poor Harvey when I’m--?

He’s such a sweet, innocent, adorable man.

Some gold digger’s gonna sink her claws into him

like a hawk nails a turtle.

True.

Losing you will create a large void in his life.

It’s only natural that he will be

vulnerable and perhaps unwise.

You know it, Charlie.

He’ll probably wind up giving away

our export-import business to some floozy.

Tattoo, hit me again.

Well, Madame, wella-wella.

[♪♪]

Well, um, there is a way to protect Harvey.

Really? Hmm.

Tell me, please, I’m desperate.

Well, I’m sure you know that historically

the crown heads of the old world handpicked their successors

to insure the continuity of their policies

and the safety of their kingdoms.

Perhaps a woman of your courage could do the same.

You mean I can pick Harvey’s next wife?

Before I check out?

How? Uh, well, perhaps Tattoo and I

can help you in that respect.

You see, tonight in the game room after bingo

there will be a very special event

created just for Mrs. Winslow and her husband.

There will?

Uh, Mrs. Winslow...

[♪♪]

TOMMY: Beat you again.

Ha-ha.

You’re getting too good for me, you know?

Boy, this is the best day I ever had in my whole life.

I kind of had fun myself.

I wish Mom was alive.

She’d see how wrong she was for keeping us apart.

Hey, none of that now.

Your mom did what she thought was right.

Yes, sir.

Come on, it’s your move.

Dad? Hmm?

I can stay with you all the time now, can I?

[♪♪]

You’d wanna do that?

Please?

Well...

I don’t really know.

I’m almost 12, you know.

I can take care of myself.

Uh, I wouldn’t be any trouble.

Oh, you’re a big boy, all right.

There’s still school and all that stuff

and all that kind of thing.

Well, I’m traveling around the country all the time.

Maybe in a couple years, huh?

Hey, it’s, uh,

getting pretty late. Why don’t you hit the sack?

We got a big day tomorrow.

Yes, sir.

Tommy?

Yeah? That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t...

wouldn’t be able to come visit you down at your aunt’s place,

uh, whenever I had the chance, you know.

Sure.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, son.

[♪♪]

ROARKE: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

it’s time to play a new game that should be very popular

with the gentlemen in the audience.

It will give one lucky man the chance to choose

his fantasy female.

A woman who is fantastically right for him in every respect.

Is the blindfold in place, Tattoo?

Blindfold on, boss.

Then let’s go into the audience

and pick today’s contestant at random.

Nadine. Hmm?

Why don’t we leave and take a walk around the lagoon.

Oh, no.

Four.

Hurry now, Tattoo, hurry.

The sooner you make your selection

the sooner some fortunate gentleman

will get to meet not one

but three gorgeous candidates to choose from.

You must make the right decision.

Eh, there isn’t much time "left."

I got him! I got him!

I never saw you before in my life, right?

Wrong. I met you this morning.

ROARKE: Eh, that doesn’t matter.

Here, the game is everything.

Take him to the stage, Tattoo.

It is time to play, "Find Your Fantasy Female."

[APPLAUSE]

Let’s hope one of the three candidates

meets with your approval, Mrs. Winslow.

If I see one I like, I’ll give you the thumbs up.

All right, let’s have a nice round of applause

for our contestant.

[APPLAUSE]

And now, to meet his fantasy female number one.

Here’s Miss Connie Dobursky,

a key punch operator whose hobbies are watching television

while doing her nails.

As ambitious as she is beautiful,

Connie would like to study Marine Biology,

because she loves Marines. [AUDIENCE CHEERS]

Also, sailors, air force men and long haul truckers.

What do you have to say to that, Harvey Winslow?

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Well, you should be.

Connie is a very lovely young lady, isn’t she, folks?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]

And now let us find out who is behind door number two.

[♪♪]

[APPLAUSE]

Wow, she is Miss Lureen Baker, a lawyer

and registered nurse with an interest in ancient languages.

Her favorite composer is Beethoven

and she hopes one day to record her personal arrangement

of his "Ninth Symphony" on the nose flute.

Let’s have a nice warm welcome for Miss Baker.

[APPLAUSE]

And now, for contestant number three,

let’s hear it for Miss Monica Johnson.

[♪♪]

Monica is a gym teacher and physical educationalist

at Kendal White’s school for girls.

She doesn’t believe that brawn alone

is a substitute for brains.

Therefore, she made an in-depth graduate study

of medieval pottery.

Her master’s dissertation on Elizabethan Chamber Pots

is recognized as the definitive work on the subject.

She likes to think of herself as a good guy.

[APPLAUSE]

And now, it is time

to choose your fantasy female, Harry Winslow.

One of these lovely young ladies who will be just right for you.

Uh, time is running out quickly.

You must choose now.

Eh, will it be contestant number one?

[APPLAUSE]

Number two?

[APPLAUSE]

Or number three?

[CHEERING]

[WHISPERING] I don’t need a fantasy female.

I’ve got a wife sitting out there.

And number three it is!

Monica Johnson is your fantasy female!

[SOBS]

ROARKE: Ah, Mr. Kehoe.

Eh, do come in.

I trust, uh, you and your son are enjoying yourselves.

Yeah, yeah, we, uh, got to know each other real easy like.

Good. The boy’s asleep now.

I see. I had to...talk to you.

Oh, of course. Sit down please.

Please have a seat.

Is something wrong?

[SIGHS] My fantasy.

My fantasy’s what’s wrong.

You wanted to be a rodeo star.

That is what we made you.

Isn’t it? Yeah, that’s what I, uh,

thought I wanted.

But I didn’t know you were gonna stage a rodeo

and that I was supposed to compete in it.

Don’t you think that if I...?

[SIGHS] If I was still...

able to compete

that I would, instead of being a...

a clown?

Look, Mr. Roarke, I’ve been alone most of my life.

There was Tommy’s mother,

but, well, that went bad a lot of years back.

After this weekend I guess I’ll be, uh...

Now I guess I’ll be alone the rest of my life.

[SIGHS] My kid Tommy,

I’d give the world for him.

Now he-- He can’t know

that I’m just a clown.

A loser.

And you promised me that.

I am well aware of what I promised you, Mr. Kehoe.

And as I assured you before,

this is Fantasy Island.

You must have faith in us.

[♪♪]

Harvey, dear... Mm-hmm.

Don’t know why you don’t get in your swim trunks

and take a little dip.

Oh, look, there’s that nice Monica.

She’s going in too.

I bet you and Monica

can play a great game of water polo together.

I wish you’d stop trying to pawn me off on that girl.

It’s like you’re trying to push us together or something.

Oh, nonsense.

I just hate to see a vital,

sporty guy like you having to sit around with an old

stick-in-the-mud like me.

Look, I love you.

Isn’t that enough?

Of course it is.

[SIGHS]

Honey, think you can reach back and get me my sunglasses?

Sure.

[SCREAMS]

He can’t swim!

Oh.

[♪♪]

[MOANS] I got you.

[COUGHS]

It’s okay.

What happened?

This lovely young thing just saved your life.

Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll see that you get a medal.

Oh, now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go to the bungalow

and put on my wetsuit. All right, dear.

Monica, can we speak frankly, woman to woman?

I don’t know why not. Good.

I’d like you to marry my husband.

Um...excuse me, I-- I really have to go now.

Oh, no, no, it’s not like you think.

You see I’m going to die.

Yes, very soon.

And you look to me like the kind of girl

that would make Harvey very happy.

Well, I’m very honored that you would pick me, but...

Oh, but if you got to know Harvey,

you’d jump at the chance.

For 10 years we worked side by side

in our export-import

antique business before we started making it.

[LAUGHS] We were so happy.

I didn’t start getting sick until I stayed home

being a lady of leisure.

don’t see really how I could be of any help to you.

Fate will find a way.

[♪♪]

You’ve been around long enough to know

you don’t get back into bronc riding in one day.

Remember what the doctor said when you quit?

You get busted up one more time

and you might not walk away. Will you shut up?

It ain’t nobody’s business.

Look, I got to at least try, don’t I?

Yeah, I guess you do. Oh, yeah.

Just relax a little bit.

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.

Good luck.

Anytime, Frank. Open it up.

Hyah! Hyah!

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[GASPS]

You all right?

[WHINNYING]

Hyah! [WHINNIES]

[♪♪]

[GROANS]

He just can’t do it, Mr. Roarke.

Well, I’m afraid, like it or not,

Mr. Kehoe will have to go along with our alternate plan.

Come on, stupid monkey. Come on.

You put the feet together.

There.

Follow me.

One, two, three...

Uh, Tattoo?

The floor, all those papers.

What are you doing?

Oh, I’m trying to learn the waltz, boss.

This is lesson number four.

[CRIES]

Well, I hate to be critical,

but it appears you’re not succeeding too well.

Oh, it’s not my fault, boss.

It’s the fault of this stupid monkey.

He does not know his left foot from his right foot.

HARVEY: You know you can’t be outdoors.

You’ll get chilled.

Then it’s two weeks in bed with the croup.

Why don’t we stay back here and see a movie?

No, I’d enjoy a nice boat ride and a picnic.

Hurry up. This is the last boat.

Why, Miss Johnson, we’re sharing the same boat.

Isn’t this nice? Yes, isn’t it?

All aboard.

Go on, get in, dear. Okay.

[SNEEZES]

Oh, bless you.

That reminds me. I forgot my inhaler.

I’ll get it. You stay here.

I’m not dead yet.

Just an expression.

Sit down, dear.

[WHISTLES]

[♪♪]

Hey!

What’s going on? Stop this thing, somebody!

Wait, you forgot your oars.

What do I do?

They will be all right, won’t they?

Yes, they will be.

The tide will take them all around the island

to a place called Lover’s Cove.

Lover’s Cove?

Perfect!

[SOBS]

[♪♪]

Come in, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

I hope I am not intruding, Mrs. Winslow.

Only on my thoughts, Mr. Roarke.

I just keep thinking about giving Harvey away

to that other woman.

It is a far, far better thing you do, Mrs. Winslow,

than err you have done.

I suppose so, Mr. Roarke.

Harvey does need someone to take care of him.

Oh, that will be the waiter. Excuse me.

Ah, yes, come in.

I took the liberty

of ordering you some of Tattoo’s coconut boom-boom.

Coconut boom-boom? Yes.

Even that won’t help. Perhaps if you had several.

Just set it right down here, waiter.

You...

You can’t be a waiter.

You’re Dr. Van Helsing.

Oh, no, madam, didn’t Mr. Roarke tell you?

I’m just a waiter who’s always wanted to be a doctor.

And Mr. Roarke helped me do it.

If you’re not a doctor,

you didn’t know what you were talking about.

You might say that, yeah.

And I’m not gonna kick the bucket, right?

Right?

How should I know? I’m only a waiter.

What’s this? You were supposed to give me my fantasy.

to find out what was wrong with me and cure me.

And so I did, Mrs. Winslow.

By confronting you

with the actual possibility of your own demise,

I cured the only thing really wrong with you:

your morbid concern for your health.

You monster!

I sent my husband out to Lover’s Cove with that sex bomb

because I thought I was doomed!

How do I find Lover’s Cove?

On the far side of the island.

Now the best way to get there is by boat.

Oh, but that will take hours. Hours!

Or you could go over land through the woods,

but that’s quite a run. Point me!

Out the door and to the right.

[♪♪]

Does this mean I won’t get my tip?

To you, Monica.

I feel very cold.

Oh, I brought some blankets.

I’d love it.

Thank you.

[♪♪]

[BOTH SIGH]

Do you feel it too?

What?

What I feel?

I think so.

[♪♪]

NADINE: Hold it!

Get any closer to my old man,

I’ll bust your chops.

Nadine! I want my husband back.

I’m not gonna die just yet.

Give me a kiss, Harvey.

You’re a very lucky girl.

He’s a sweetheart.

All right, now how did you get here?

I ran. You ran?

Harvey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me.

You mean you’re well again like you used to be?

Uh-huh. And I think I understand why.

I think I was just so worried that some lady was gonna

snag you out from under my runny nose.

A beautiful man like you, but I...

I kept getting sick so I could keep you tied to me.

You didn’t have to be sick to keep me tied.

I’ve always been yours

and always will be.

Mm.

[♪♪]

ANNOUNCER: And coming up now,

Frank Fibbs, the bull-riding champion, on Twister.

Very appropriate to have Frank come out here

at the Brian Kehoe Invitational All-Star Rodeo.

Frank Fibbs riding Twister.

He’s a ferocious animal.

Dad, look at that!

Look at this. There’s Patches the clown

hovering right behind him. Keep riding.

[BUZZER SOUNDS] Here’s the buzzer.

Boy that was something, Dad.

...cowboys for breakfast.

Let’s, uh, dust him off a little bit, Patches.

I don’t think rodeo clowns are so funny.

BRIAN: Clowns aren’t just for laughs at rodeos, son.

They save lives.

They look like jerks to me.

Feeding the bulls to make them mean.

Ready, Mr. Kehoe? All set.

Eh, Tommy, eh, why don’t you and Tattoo stay here.

It’s very dangerous in the chute area

and besides this is the best seat in the house.

Uh, Mr. Roarke’s right, Tommy.

Don’t want you getting hurt, you know.

Okay, Dad.

One of the most ferocious horses I’ve seen.

[AUDIENCE GASPING]

[FANFARE]

That’s it for Black Butler.

How about a round of applause

for one of the greatest cowboys.

They’re waiting for you, Mr. Kehoe.

What am I supposed to do?

Trust me.

Don’t forget the bandanna. Ladies and gentlemen,

the man that’s considered to be

one of the best cowboys in the world.

He’s won every title from Pendleton to Calgary

and most in between.

He’s brought together the finest collection

of cowboys ever.

Ladies and gentlemen, the masked cowboy,

Brian Kehoe aboard Roller Coaster.

[CHEERING]

Barrels, come on down here.

Get in here. Let’s go.

He’s only allowed one hand...

Come on, Barrels, get down here.

...hand must be held above his shoulder at all times.

Points are awarded on the skill of the rider

and the degree and difficulty and spirit

of the bucking horse.

They’re just about ready now to come out.

Please welcome Brian Kehoe on Roller Coaster.

[♪♪]

Isn’t he terrific, Tattoo?

Fantastic!

Brian Kehoe, beautiful ride.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

One of the best all around cowboys ever.

Brian Kehoe aboard Roller Coaster.

There’s the buzzer.

He’s got it. He’s got the ride.

A perfect ride. A perfect ride.

All right, let’s take the switch.

[CHEERING]

Get out there. Listen to this crowd.

Brian, they want to see him, they want him to come out.

Come on out, Brian. Come on out.

Take a bow.

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Brian Kehoe!

[CHEERING]

All right. Incredible ride!

Tommy!

You were great, Dad!

I’ve done a lot of crummy things,

but I gotta tell you right now,

I never felt so ashamed in my life.

Really?

But your son thinks you’re a great rodeo star.

Yeah. ANNOUNCER: It’s fitting,

ladies and gentlemen, that we end the bull riding

with the moment we’ve all been waiting

Brian Kehoe challenging Locomotion.

There isn’t a bull that’s been mean enough to throw Brian

and no man has ever ridden Locomotion.

[CHEERING]

Well, here we are,

the climax of the whole afternoon.

Brian Kehoe aboard Locomotion.

Stay with him, Dad!

It’s like a runaway freight train.

Brian can’t hold on. He’s gonna just let go.

Brian’s down.

Oh, it’s ferocious.

Get the bull out of the way.

Let’s take him out of the arena. Look out!

The bull hit Brian.

Patches. The bull’s got Patches.

Patches is down.

Brian, get out of there! Get moving.

Get somebody out there quick. Get that bull off of Brian!

[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]

Look out. Let’s get somebody out!

Dad!

Brian’s down. He’s hurt.

Somebody’s gotta stop that bull!

Patches is hurt. Brian’s hurt.

Watch out, the bull’s gonna charge again.

Get-- Get him out of there! Hey, bull!

[LOWS] Hey! Bull!

Wait now. There’s somebody coming. Who’s that?

Come on, boy. Looks like Brian Kehoe,

but it can’t be. Hyah!

He’s an impersonator.

Quick, get the bull. Get the clown out of the way!

Look out!

Get that fellow off the arena.

Get him out of there. Get him away from there!

Let’s move him out. Get out of there whoever you are.

Let’s get out. Off the grounds.

Hurry! And over, he’s got him.

The bull’s out of the way. The-- The clown’s okay.

He’s saved the clown. He’s saved the Patches.

He’s saved Brian Kehoe.

I don’t know who that cowboy was dressed like Brian Kehoe.

We sure owe him a vote of thanks for saving

two lives here today.

Dad, I thought you were supposed to be riding the bull.

No, I-- I weren’t, son.

And I weren’t riding the bronc either.

It was all staged for you.

[SIGHS]

See, I’m a...

I’m not really a big star.

I’m just a broken-down old rodeo clown.

The kind of bum your mother always said I was.

I’m sure sorry to disappoint you, boy.

And I ain’t gonna be bothering you no more.

[♪♪]

I don’t know how you feel about your daddy, son,

but all I can say is there’s not a man among us

whose life he hasn’t saved more than once.

MAN 2: That’s right, boy.

There never was a time when I needed Kehoe

that he wasn’t there.

A man doesn’t live to be a champ without the help of the clowns.

But he lied to me.

Well, it’s just that he was worried

that you might not love him if you found out what he really is.

That plane.

Mr. Roarke said you were on it.

I didn’t want to go.

I had to see you again.

Maybe you’ll just make me go away...

but I don’t care if you’re a rodeo star,

or a clown, or anything else.

You’re my dad, and I love you.

[CHUCKLES]

I, uh...

I don’t know what to say, boy.

Say that I can stay with you,

that we can be a family.

Please?

I love you.

But I ain’t got anything.

No, I, uh...no money.

I ain’t even got a... ROARKE: Whoever said

that the relationship between a father and son

depended on money or material worth?

Look into that boy’s eyes

and you’ll realize you have everything, Mr. Kehoe.

Please?

[♪♪]

Well, I...

I guess I can try, can’t I son?

Dad!

[LAUGHS]

[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you. My pleasure, Mrs. Winslow.

Darling?

Oh, we wanna thank you

for finally curing me, Mr. Roarke.

And for the fulfillment of my fantasy too.

NADINE: You, Harvey?

You had a fantasy too? Yep.

One that came true in the last two days.

We were able to have a second honeymoon

that was as good as the first one.

[LAUGHS] Oh.

Harvey, you handsome rascal.

Thank you. Very well, Mr. Winslow,

Mrs. Winslow.

Come on, son.

Well, Mr. Roarke,

I sure do wanna thank you for everything.

Wasn’t exactly what I expected,

but, well, it sure turned out

a lot better than I ever thought it would.

It sure did.

I got me a full-time dad now.

A real champion too.

Take good care of each other, huh?

You can bet your bottom dollar on that one.

Right, partner? Right, Dad.

Come on, let’s, uh, head for the barn, shall we?

Tell me, Tattoo, how goes your dance lessons?

Well, I just finished, uh, lesson number five and I quit.

But you were going to be the next Fred Astaire.

Yeah, but they always got the girl at the end of the movie.

So, what’s wrong with that? I’ve got a better idea.

[WHISTLES]

[RUMBA DANCE BEAT PLAYING]

One, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, kick.

One, two...

[GIGGLING]

[♪♪]

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪]