Original subtitles

all right how's that view okay all right this time okay right print that one okay

that's a wrap you can go home now

Original script has to jump off that bridge.

Oh, I can't imagine doing such a thing, can you? Every day since I started

managing your career. You've done very well managing my career. Your success

makes me nervous. Here.

You don't have to read it, just smell it.

Oh, Oscar.

Hello, Smitty.

Oh, don't tell me you were on that bridge all afternoon and you ate off the

catering truck. Not the meat, I hope.

Your sister's upstairs making a mess of your room, and I'd better half sit

there. I'll get you some cocoa.

Alfred!

How are you?

My sister was getting worried.

Did I invite you two for dinner? Wasn't it tonight?

I couldn't have spent that time.

Of course you didn't, and it's next week. Come upstairs and get changed.

We're going out.

We are going to have a hot bath and a cup of cocoa.

We are going to get... To bed. We are going to have Smitty massage our feet.

We are not going anywhere.

Margaret, I am physically and emotionally exhausted.

Tessa nearly jumped off a bridge today.

Tessa? Do I know her? She's me.

I'm her. I play her in the movie. Put them away, Mags. I'm not coming. You

have to. He's perfect.

Oh, no.

No, he really is this type. You always say that. No, I don't. Yes, you do.

You've said it about Alfred's cousin from Manchester.

Do you admit he was good-looking and a wonderful dancer?

I don't think he knew more than a dozen words.

Well, what do you expect from a man? You know, there's a limit to how

entertaining they can be.

You liked Colonel Eastman, didn't you? He carried a riding cross everywhere we

went. I felt like a horse he was training. Charles doesn't carry a riding

cross. He's 43, never been married, lost a sale.

Has a place in Torquay.

Are you listening?

Yes. He exports fabric and he wants three children.

Oh, it'll never work out.

Why not? I want two children.

Come on. You'll feel much better in an evening dress.

Now, can you sit in this one?

There's a speaker after dinner.

One of Alfred's foreign office dinners? That's where you want to take me? A rump

roast, a speaker and someone named Charles?

You don't love me at all.

Don't you want to get married?

Don't you want to have children?

Does it entail eating rare rump roast?

The speakers can be very educational.

Oh, yes, I remember the last one.

The Dutch ambassador talked for an hour and 15 minutes.

In Dutch.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. What am I?

The crocodile in Peter Pan. No, no, a homemade bomb.

Ah, a woman with a twitch.

Your biological time clock.

Just you meet him, Anne.

Smitty, can you hear me? Hear you? She's been deaf since she worked for Mother. I

don't know why you keep her.

Because she takes that scummy layer of milk off my cocoa. That's why. Who else

would do that for me?

Smitty?

Smitty?

Hello?

You couldn't be.

I couldn't?

You don't, by any chance, export fabric, do you? No.

Like to sail?

Not since college.

Go by the name of Charles.

Philip.

You're not him.

I'm beginning to wish I were.

All right.

Now, would you like... Oh, have you met Philip and...

Kingston, this is Philip Adams.

I asked him to meet me here. He's tonight's speaker on stabilizing

currencies. Isn't that right?

Yes.

What will you have to drink, Adams?

Scotch and soda, please.

Same for me, Alfred.

You've given me many hours of pleasure, Miss Kingston.

I beg your pardon?

Your films.

Oh, of course.

Thank you.

Andia, wouldn't you prefer a cordial and cream?

Alfred, talk to Anne.

She refuses to come.

Tell her what fun it's going to be.

We don't have to stay with the speaker. Do we? She's my girl. We're so boring.

Maybe we can go somewhere instead. Dancing.

Oh, hello.

This is Philip Adams, tonight's boring speaker.

My wife, Margaret.

This always happens to me.

Oh. I once asked the butler at the French embassy if he'd like to dance.

It was very light on his feet.

Anne, your face.

I tried to tell you.

Anne, please, reconsider and come with us.

I couldn't possibly get ready in time.

I'm afraid she needs coaxing. Mr. Adams, you coax her.

I'm an extra man.

You would make the dinner come out even.

How many people are going to be there?

300.

299 people in a room does make it look awfully untidy.

You see, Margaret, that's all I wanted, an intelligent reason.

Well, it won't take me a minute to wash and change.

Can you forget you ever saw me like this?

I doubt it.

Well, don't leave without me.

Minnie!

At the Tokyo Economic Summit, two of the important issues that will be discussed

are market-oriented agricultural policies and subsidized disincentives.

First, I'd like to discuss the United States' market-oriented agricultural

policies. The problem of agriculture is particularly complicated and demands

urgent attention.

What do you know about Philip Adams?

Wall Street wizard lives in Washington and New York.

Made a lot of large-scale capital investments.

Third world countries.

Just been offered a presidential appointment.

If he accepts it, he could be a big help to us here, particularly in the field of

aid to... Is he attached?

Attached? Is he seeing anyone?

I don't know what he does after he leaves me.

I'll follow him next time.

Might as well be speaking Greek as far as I know.

And finally...

To resist protectionism at home and abroad, we should instigate a new round

of international trade negotiations.

Thank you very much.

I can't believe I'm out with the Anne Kingston.

I mean, when I told my mother, she said, it must be some other Anne Kingston.

She just couldn't believe that the Anne Kingston would go out on a blind date.

Oh, that's terrible. Has she always been blind?

Who? Your mother.

Well, my mother sees perfectly well.

Well, that's a miracle. You must be awfully relieved.

Yes, I suppose I am.

May I cut in?

Well, certainly if Anne doesn't...

Who do you sting?

The Park Lane Hotel.

Park Lane Hotel, please.

But you said you lived in Wimpole Street, that's north of the park.

Shouldn't we drop you first?

Park Lady's on the way. If you detour past the Opera House, go down both

streets and double back. You seem to know London very well for a foreigner,

Mr. Adams.

Call me Philip.

You must be Philip.

Not at all, but I'm sure Mr. Adams is.

Philip. Well, we're all back dragging. If we're passing you... We'll drop you

first. I mean, after all, you're the one who has to be up working in the morning.

You don't work?

Of course I work.

I have my own business. I can come and go as I like.

What's your address? This is ridiculous. I'm the furthest away. I'm the last to

be dropped off.

I can't let you go home alone.

Oh, I do it all the time.

The fabric business, is that right?

Yes.

This way we'll pass the embankment.

Beautiful at night, isn't it?

Beautiful.

I had a knuckle in the fabric.

Really? What a coincidence.

Yes, if you look out here, you can just see the lights in the distance.

Yes, I see. Silk or woolen?

He manufactured necklaces.

Oh, I like necklaces. Sometimes I walk out there in the rain.

I think that a foolish thing for a grown man to be doing. Yes, I do. Is that one

of his you're wearing?

No, he's been dead for years.

I'm sorry.

Actually, I don't do it anymore.

Murdered. Really? How?

Murdered. Strangled.

Not with.

I'm afraid so. A green paisley. Part of his fall collection.

Are you making this up?

We're just coming up on Wimpole Street on the right. Do you want me to drop you

here? Yes, please. Which is your flat, Charles?

Number 20.

Why don't you come in for a nightcap?

And we can leave the taxi to Miss Adams. I can drive you back after. I have to be

on the set at 6.30.

But I really can't let you go home alone.

If you're that worried, Charles, I'll see that she gets to the door. But it's

out of your way. Oh, I'm terribly close to Park Lane.

I'm sure you said you lived the furthest away.

Good night, then.

I had a wonderful evening.

So did I, Charles. Thank you.

I mean, thank you.

We'll do it again soon.

Good night, Charles.

I'll phone you.

Please do.

Thanks for bailing me out.

Number six, St. Andrew's Place, please.

Right, Count.

You don't really have to see me home, you know.

I promise, Charles.

Cabby!

Hey, hang on a minute! Hey, Cabby!

I'm Harry Law from the London Register.

Can you tell me, who was that with Anne Kingston?

How do you like yours? Dark or light?

Dark.

So do I.

Marshmallows? Of course.

Do you eat them first?

Or do you save them for last?

Save them for last.

Oh, I admire a man that can do that.

No wonder the president appointed you his special representative.

Well, he hasn't appointed me yet.

Oh, I thought Alfred said that he had.

You know, they have to check me out first.

Be sure I haven't robbed a bank or kissed anyone under 18.

Have you?

Which?

You'll get the job.

I may not want it.

I'd have to spend all my time here. I have a place in Virginia. I'd miss my

horses.

I keep two horses stable just outside London.

Would you like to come riding with me on Saturday morning?

I don't know exactly how to put this without sounding like... Anne, you

do know I'm married.

Why, no, you hadn't mentioned it, actually.

People don't automatically mention their wives in an evening of casual

conversation. Of course they do.

Do you like my tie?

My wife picked it out for me.

My wife and I have a place in Virginia.

How about my wife doesn't want to live in England.

Oh, Philip.

Philip, I didn't burn you, did I?

No, it's all right.

No harm done. Accidents happen.

Your beautiful jacket, that stain will never come out.

I'm terribly sorry. I'm not usually this clumsy.

I must be tired. What time is it? Oh.

I should be getting back to my hotel. You have an early call in the morning.

You're so considerate.

I don't think I had a chance to tell you how much I enjoyed your speech tonight.

I feel as though I have a whole new insight into international economic

trading.

It's been a pleasure meeting you.

I'm going to be in London for another week. Maybe we'll run into it. I doubt

it. I'm leaving for Tangier tomorrow to film the camel sequence.

But good luck with your subsidized disincentive.

Good luck with your camel.

Good night, Annie.

Goodbye, Phyllis.

You were out past curfew.

You never used to be able to tell.

You never used to be over 30.

You never used to be a tactless beast.

He had no sense of humour and he's obsessed with his mother.

How did you know it was me? Mummy, mummy, look at me, look at me! Don't

find Nanny, darling.

Who else would track me down in make-up the morning after a blind date? I could

have been in the Amazon jungle and you'd have called.

Look at me!

I'm looking, sweetheart.

Now, I know you didn't like Charles.

But what about Philip Adams?

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure he's the marrying type.

Philip Adams is married. You know, I take thee to be thy lawful wedded, etc.,

etc. He has a wife in Washington.

I don't believe it. How did you find out?

Put my scissor down, Willie.

He told me. Before, I hope.

Before what, Margaret?

You know what I mean.

I poured hot milk on him and he melted.

He did.

I knew it. You did like him.

Oh, Annie.

Margaret?

Annie?

Yes?

I'm Henry Lawford.

Miss Kingston's manager gave me an appointment.

You've just said anything to me about an appointment.

Miss Kingston's not at home. I'm from the London Register.

The Register? That's... See the newspaper now. Get out right now. I'm

calling the police. No nonsense. Look, I'm going to get this done.

Why can't you cooperate?

Annie, it is a brilliant script.

When you've read it, you see you can't afford to turn it down.

If you're not nominated for an Oscar, I will eat it page by page.

If you don't thank me in your acceptance speech, I'll sue you for gross

negligence.

Annie, if you don't read it, I'll make you pay for lunch.

Gracious, I'll read it. But it's a role that any actress would kill for. They're

willing to let you... Erica, I said I'll read it.

Oh, don't you think William would love this?

I'm going to get it for him. I'm having dinner with Margaret tonight.

I don't know what children like.

When somebody I know has a baby, I send them a government bond and a note on

Blackboard asserting it.

Don't you ever wish that you'd had some?

Thank you. Children?

I married two of them. Erica, I'm serious.

So am I.

Gerald had the emotional maturity of a preschooler, and Robert could never tell

his left from right. At least that was his excuse for being in the wrong hotel

room.

Who had started you thinking about monogrammed towels and dirty diapers?

Do I know it? Don't be silly. All I remember...

I'll be right back.

They're

not

trying to kidnap you. They just want you to autograph their ball.

You must be very popular in Italy.

But shouldn't you be in Tangier with a camel?

The camel got sick.

Nothing serious, I hear.

Erica!

Ann, I'm coming!

I'm not sure, but I think I just made a dinner date with a man named Guido.

Now, this one is nice. Does he speak English?

This is Erica James, my manager.

Miss James, you should get your client a bodyguard.

Well, if you can talk her into one. You're a better man than I am, Mr...

Philip Adams.

Oh, then you didn't melt.

Erica, we really have to be going. I don't want to be late. Can we drop you

off? Erica.

Thank you, but I work here.

I hope he's feeling better.

Who?

The camel.

Nice to meet you, Miss James.

What did he mean about the camel?

I have no idea.

Oh, he's a very handsome man.

Too bad he's married.

Erica, if you're going to warn me about married men, you can save your breath.

Oh, good. I'm not the least bit attracted to him. Oh, good. Running into

him like that was a complete accident. I have no plans to see him again.

Oh, good.

Because coming across town in noon traffic every day just to have lunch

across the street from the American embassy could get to be a bore.

10 minutes to the right.

Why? Just as I thought. Your nose is growing.

Don't be an idiot.

I'd hate to see that nose on the front page of the supermarket checkout.

International film star. A home wrecker.

Wife jumps from 33rd story.

Children. Motherless. That sort of thing. I never knew you went to

supermarkets, Erica.

How else would I meet box boys?

Where is it? It's the clock. You're much too early.

I thought you were the pianist.

Pianist? Margaret, you set a simple little dinner party amongst friends.

I came early because I want to see William.

Where is he? I bought him a present.

You don't need to bring a present every time you come over. Yes, I do. I want

him to like me. I want him to say to his wife, Oh, I can't let my old auntie die

in that home.

She always puts presents.

You'll have your own children to take you in.

Who are you looking for? Virginia.

I want to sit next to her.

You're sitting next to Andrew Ockwell.

I don't like Andrew Ockwell. You've never even met him. Oh, I know. He's

perfect. He plays polo. He's a Member of Parliament. He went to school with

Alfred. I'm his favourite actress. He's rich. He's poor. He's a wonderful

dancer. He's never, never sick of seeing. He loves animals and what else?

Ah, yes.

He's single.

He's not single.

He's a widower. Oh, Margaret.

Just meet him.

You're always saying the good ones are all married. Well, he was married.

Maybe he's a good one.

He probably bored her to death.

Anne! Well, women live longer than men. He must have done something.

Margaret, give those to me.

You'll never find anyone if you don't stop being so picky. Picky?

Who's picky? All I want is a wealthy, handsome, intelligent, athletic,

charming, courageous, very, very exciting man who can ride a horse and

make good conversation in and out of bed.

That man does not exist.

I've brought Philip Adams home. Can you set an extra place?

Something from the bar.

Oh.

No, thank you, Andrew.

I'll just have coffee.

Coming up.

Bachelor number two.

Margaret means well.

Charles had more hair.

This is none of your business.

You're right. I didn't mean to tease you. I'm sorry.

No, I'm the one that should apologize.

For the other night, I was... I forgot to ask.

Cream? No cream.

The fact... What about sugar?

Fine.

How many?

But whatever you think best, Andrew.

Well, I always take two.

Two then.

I'll be right back.

Could we go somewhere else for a moment?

I was trying to apologize in there for the other night.

The hot milk I spilt on you.

It wasn't an accident.

That's all right. I deserved it. No, you didn't. You behaved perfectly admirably.

You confessed your marital state after a cup of cocoa. Most men would have waited

until the morning after.

I was tempted.

Are you?

Well, anyway, it was a perfectly childish thing to do.

You were so kind today. You made me feel like a perfect idiot.

Well, at least now we can part friends.

On one condition.

What?

You try to look a little less attractive.

I'll try.

Attagirl.

I didn't recognize him at first.

But then he said, hello, Cinderella, and it all came flooding back. I wasn't

supposed to turn there, I'm sorry.

And it all came flooding back to me.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

You don't believe me, do you?

Right, that's fine then. Thank you very much. Okay, everybody, let's get ready

for a take.

Oh,

I read that script.

Script? What script?

The one I sent you a week ago.

I'd forgotten all about it. I think they've cast Meryl Streep. Kitty, I

thought it was wonderful.

Annie, you'll do it.

Hello, Anne.

We were coming from the French Embassy and I remembered you were filming here.

Philip, yes, we stopped by.

How was Paris?

Erica James, Philip Adams.

Yes, we've met.

Not much fun.

We'd better be going. We're due at the Foreign Office at half past.

I'll be back to Washington now.

I leave Sunday.

I wanted to say goodbye.

We're ready for you, darling.

Where's Michael? Michael?

Well,

have a good flight.

See you later, dear.

Goodbye.

You're slippery, Sherry.

We're acquaintances, Erica. Does it say somewhere that a person can't be

acquainted with another person just because that person happens to be

married to another person? Yes, I believe Emily Post has an entire chapter

on that.

Well, he's going home on Sunday, so I'll never see him again as long as I live.

All right, let's do it. Go, Erica.

Will you give Miss Kingston a message for me, please? Yes, sir.

Tell her yes.

It's a bit chilly for May, isn't it? Yes, very.

Actually, we had a very mild spring the year before last.

And last year?

Not very warm. Not that I remember.

But autumn was very pleasant.

Do you think it's true what people say?

That the world's weather is changing?

No, that people who talk about the weather really mean something else.

I just don't want you to think... I don't.

Then why are you here?

Anne. Oh.

I'm not going to tell you that my wife doesn't understand me.

I'm never going to complain about her. I'm never even going to mention her

name.

And I'm not going to tell you that I'm lonely because I'm sure you've heard

that before, too.

If you want to go home, I'll take you home.

But if you want to race me to that lake down there, I'll give you five to one

odds.

Thank you.

Don't thank me.

Those are very good odds.

Margaret means well. She's always looked after me. It's just that now she can't

seem to break the habit.

You've never been married?

In the beginning, they were all my lessons. Acting, dancing, riding,

singing, fencing.

Yes, fencing. I wanted so desperately to get into the Royal Shakespeare Company

and be the first woman to play Hamlet.

And then I don't know.

A doctor from Manchester is jealous of your love scenes. A lawyer from

Whitehall objects to your going on location for three months.

An American screenwriter didn't like being called Mr.

Kingston.

After a while, it's easier to go home alone with a good book.

Did you always know you wanted to be an actor?

Did you always know you wanted to be a financial wizard?

No, I... I wanted to be Lefty Adams.

Third baseman for the New York Yankees.

I begged my mother to change my name to Lefty.

She wouldn't.

Philip can't play third, I told her. Fill up is what you say to the gas

station attendant.

I like you, Lefty.

I wish you weren't leaving tomorrow.

What if I'm not?

The president's special representative at your service.

But you said you turned it down.

A minute ago, you were sorry I was leaving.

Did you change your mind?

No, of course not.

I hope we get to see a lot of each other while you're in London.

I can't wait to meet your wife.

She prefers to stay in Washington.

Oh, what do you prefer?

When divorce isn't an option, you work out other arrangements. It's difficult

to explain.

And none of my business. Are you hungry?

I'm hungry. I know a lovely restaurant right down the road where we can get a

wonderful lunch.

Despite the market-oriented agricultural policy.

Are you making fun of me?

What are market-oriented agricultural policies?

It's the chickens. They formed a unit.

Hab driver William McCall says our

mystery man is an American.

Philip Adams.

He's a friend.

Can't I have a friend?

Oh, jump into bed with him, dear. You're going to hang for it anyway.

And don't tell me we're living in liberal times.

Have a baby out of wedlock? All right.

Shack up with a Russian ballet dancer?

All right.

But steal someone's husband?

I haven't stolen anyone's anything. Besides, they don't know he's married.

They don't even know who he is.

They will.

Any minute now, that telephone is going to start ringing. And Leslie Stoppard

will want an interview.

Hello, her ladyship's not at home at the moment.

In fact, we don't know where she is. She... Margaret?

No, of course it's me.

I can't talk now.

Yes, I saw it. I'll call you later.

No, there isn't. I said I'll call you later. Goodbye.

Why is everyone overreacting?

Only last month the friends hinted that I was pregnant by a French mime. But

that wasn't true. Neither is this.

I said I'll call you later.

Oh.

Philip.

No, I'm sorry. I thought you were my sister, Margaret.

The Austrian ambassador just stood me up for dinner.

If you and I can discuss the disruptive impact of the fluctuating dollar, I can

still write off our wiener schnitzel.

Oh, I'd love dinner.

Are you crazy?

You probably don't read the London Register, but...

We're featured on the front page. Well, at least I am.

If we're seen having dinner tonight, the press are going to be all over us before

you can say coffee and dessert.

Then we'll find some place where we won't be seen.

Eight o'clock?

Fine, eight o'clock.

Goodbye.

I'm not going to let some petty, gossipy, dirty little reporter dictate

who my friends are going to be.

If people want to believe the worst, let them. And if they don't want to see my

films, then they can stay home and watch the dog scratch.

Fine. I've got lots of other clients. Why should I worry? I am an actress.

Nobody cares what an actress does in her private life anymore.

It's not as if I was in politics.

He is, though, isn't he?

You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?

Well, no.

Nobody else has ever believed me, but I promise you it's true. It was terrible.

Terrible.

Well, that was my first job. Now tell me about your first job. The very first

one. The very first.

My very first job was working in my uncle's shoe store.

No, it was the summer before that I was selling greeting cards door-to-door No,

I was really very good at it the first house I went to I sold all the cards I

don't believe I don't believe you a woman came to the door and She said I

don't want to buy any greeting cards. And I said you're absolutely right. You

shouldn't buy them You should be selling them that stopped her so I took her

aside like this and I said

I've already made over $300 profit my first week.

You were lying, of course.

Well, I was only 13.

But big for your age.

I mumbled something about saving for college.

She had to let you in. It started to rain. And you were only 13.

But big for my age.

So she let you in, and what did you say to her?

I said, did you know you can make over $100 clear profit by selling a dozen

boxes of these greeting cards?

What did she say?

She said, give me everything you've got.

Now remember, you can't repeat that

to anyone.

It's the secret behind all my success.

Lefty, my heel has just broken off.

I

think

you better take me home. It's getting awfully late.

Oh, no, wait.

Would you kiss me before I die?

Are you going to die soon?

See anything you like? No, yes, um, I mean no.

Would you like to shower first, or should I?

As a guest, I should be allowed to go first.

Well, go ahead then.

However, tradition does dictate that a lady should precede a gentleman. We've

got a real dilemma here.

Maybe we should shower together.

At the same time. That's usually how people shower together. If they did it

differently, they would be doing it at separate times, which would be the

opposite of together.

Did I introduce myself?

Adams. We met at the dog show in Worthing.

I'm sorry. I think I had a little too much wine last night.

You're not going to blame it all on the wine, are you? Aren't you?

Why could I?

I'd be lying, but I could. We can blame it all on the wine, if that's what you

want. I'll get dressed.

We'll share a bromo. I'll leave. And a year from now, you won't even remember

my name.

What do you want?

Two eggs, buttered toast, bacon, and coffee.

Here's your breakfast.

Do you want it in bed or on the table?

Smitty, you're a mind reader.

Don't forget you promised to take your nephew to the zoo after lunch.

Can we have a pot of coffee and a cup, please, Smitty? I brought you tea.

Oh, your manager called.

She said to remind you about the party tonight at the studio.

You promised you'd be there.

Smitty, that smells delicious. Is there any more in the kitchen?

I've arranged for Deirdre to pick up the cleaning.

So if there's anything you want taken in, make sure you tell her.

Smitty, I would like another tray for Mr. Adams, please.

Enjoy your breakfast.

if you need me.

I don't think she likes me.

She's a little deaf.

Blind, you mean.

Well, there's one egg, but we can share the toast.

Your slice has more jam.

There's only one cup, so you're going to have to share.

My mother.

Taught me never to drink out of a stranger's cup.

What else did your mother teach you?

She, uh...

Then why aren't you looking at me?

Oh, William, you have to put the mask on top of your head, darling. You're going

to eat the ice cream. I read that article. I said to Alfred, we're to

blame. We brought him into her house. He introduced her. Margaret, for the last

time, I was not out riding with Philip Adams. I was alone.

There is nothing more destructive than starting up with a married man.

Speaking from experience. Very funny.

William, go and play with the giraffe, dear.

I don't understand you.

You say you want to get married, and that you constantly find some excuse to

back out of every relationship you get into. Yes, you do.

He parts his hair on the wrong side. He wears alligator shoes.

He doesn't like Shakespeare.

You're going to wake up one morning with your childbearing years behind you just

because I don't want to compromise.

Marriage is compromise.

Compromise, hard work, give and take.

What are you afraid of?

Look.

I've invited a lovely man to dinner. He's perfect. He really is.

No, no, no, no, no. They don't like lemonade poured on them. William, try

the popcorn.

Margaret, I'm sorry, I can't. I've got this promotional thing that I have to go

to tonight at the studio.

And after that, bed, alone, alone.

William, get down from there.

What are you thinking?

How about all the lies I told to Dave, first to Margaret, and then ducking out

of that studio party saying I had to get to bed?

That was no lie.

Where are you going?

Home.

Stay for breakfast.

Oh, and have some chamomile smoothie in your room at 10 a.m. in the morning and

evening clothes.

I'll send the bell captain out for some morning clothes.

You poor instant.

Don't you know that every bell captain in London is on the payroll of at least

one scandal sheet?

Stay for breakfast.

I thought that you wanted to be approved for a cabinet post.

Oh, don't Americans mind what their politicians do after hours?

They mind.

Oh, do they mind.

Stay for breakfast.

You're married, Philip.

I don't care.

Well, I do.

If this got out, you wouldn't stand a chance at that cabinet post, and you

know it.

You've said yourself you've been after it for a long time.

I couldn't live with myself if I ruined it for you.

Like it or not, I live in a fishbowl. People recognize me, write about me,

photograph me. We have to be careful.

Promise me. You can order anything you want.

Eggs benedict.

French toast, hash brown potatoes.

I have to go now. Promise me.

Promise you what?

Haven't you been listening to anything I said?

I'm busy falling in love with you. I can't do two things at once.

Say that again.

I can't do two things at once. No.

The first part.

What was the first part?

I'm falling in love with you.

Are you?

Then stay for breakfast.

Right there, Senator.

Philip, I can't stay. I tried to call, but there was no answer.

I must be in the shower. Are you all right? Oh, Philip, I'm so sorry. I

promise you, I have no idea how they got this information.

Parish priest sees ghost of John Lennon?

No, not that. Here, British actress and American diplomat. More than ten pals.

Philip, they know what you are. If we're not careful, they're going to find out

who you are. Let me see that.

Did Lennon say anything to the priest or just show up and hang around?

You mustn't make light of this. I know it's a ridiculous news, but people read

it. There were reporters outside my house this morning.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any embarrassment. Not me. You. You're

the one with the wife.

You're the one with political ambitions.

Are you expecting someone?

Senator Blake.

Don't panic.

All right, I won't.

I can hide in the bedroom.

Why don't you hide in the bedroom?

Hello,

Philip.

I've got that report for you. I'm sorry it's so late. I don't think there are

going to be any surprises in it, but... Well, if you've got any questions, just

make a couple of notes in the margin.

Excuse me, is your bathroom through here?

Speak with the embassy sometime around 10 o'clock, Philip. Right.

Don't spend much time. Got to catch the Northwest flight to L.A. at 1.40.

See you then.

What are you doing out here?

You could have gotten yourself killed.

Are you crazy?

He's got a ring.

Are you all right?

What were you doing out there?

We can't go on seeing each other.

Not if you're going to be climbing out on ledges every time someone knocks on

the door.

We have to get out of London.

Switzerland.

There'll be snow in the mountains.

I don't think I should take you any places over two stories high.

Country house in Dover.

Don't they have clips there?

Oh, Philip is buried.

Philip. Be quiet.

I am being serious.

Well,

all I can say is what an evening in the theater. Julie, you have never been

better.

Darling, do you think I could call you back? Somebody's just walked in.

Yes, bye.

She never has been better. It's been worse, I'm sure, but I can't remember in

what.

Annie, sit down. You remind me of something in a cage.

That's exactly how I'm feeling.

I have to get away this weekend, Erica. Be by myself, relax.

I want you to cancel the meeting with the American producer.

Oh, absolutely not. The man has given you the right to approve the director.

He's flying in with Saul Polikoff. He wants you to meet him. Well, I don't

want to meet him.

I've changed my mind about the film.

Annie, in all the years that I've managed your career, have I ever once,

to the best of your recollection, beaten you over the head with my appointment

book? Now, answer carefully.

I want this to be a first.

I can't spend six months in Los Angeles. I hate Los Angeles.

It's so hot.

But there's no humidity.

I shrivel up without humidity.

Without humidity or without Philip Adams? Are you going to throw away an

Oscar for a mortal man?

Will an Oscar keep me warm at night?

Will an Oscar go home to his wife at Christmas?

The Duke is 80 years old and he's very... He only rents the house out

during the summer, so this is going to require great charm, diplomacy and tact.

You'd better let me do the talking. I won't say a word.

Miss Kingston, how do you do? I'm Herbert Finley, the Duke's solicitor.

I'm afraid the Duke's in Switzerland this month. I handle his affairs when

he's away.

How do you do, sir, Herbert Finley?

Philip Adams, how do you do?

He spoke to me. I had to say something.

Now, what can I do for you, Miss Kingston?

Oh, Anne.

Oh, do sit down, please.

Thank you.

He did it again?

How may I help you?

Anne?

Well, it's about the Duke's country house in Dover. I know he's very strict

about renting it only in the summer, but I was hoping, with your help, if we

could persuade him to rent it to me for a long weekend, beginning this Friday,

in fact.

Oh, Miss Kingston, I'm terribly sorry. That's impossible. The Duke has sold the

house. Very recently, in fact.

Oh, no.

That's it.

Let's go.

Are you... Sure, it couldn't be some other piece of property that he sold.

I didn't handle the actual transaction myself, but here it is, I'm afraid.

The deed hasn't even been filed yet.

I don't believe it. Oh, cheer up. I'm sure you'll find something else that

you'll like just as much.

Good night, Mr. Finlay.

Anne. How could he sell it? How could anyone sell it? Quite frankly, Miss

Kingston, Anne, he got a very generous offer from an American.

Mr... Forgive me, but...

Didn't you say your name was Philip Adams?

Sorry, but I won't be renting it out until summer.

We only wanted it for the weekend.

Real estate's always valuable. Do you usually buy real estate without seeing

it first? I don't own any real estate in England.

Now, if you'd wanted to take a villa in Jamaica, that would have been a

different story. I don't even want to think what it cost you. I already have

real estate in Jamaica. A canning factory.

Not much of a weekend retreat, but very profitable.

I know why you did it. You don't understand these things. It's called

scattering your risks. You invest in different places. You feel guilty. Isn't

that why men always buy women expensive presents?

I bought it because I want to make you happy.

Are you happy?

Well, at least now I know I can always rent off seasons.

There's no spare.

There has to be a spare.

Care to take a look?

There's no spare.

There has to be a spare.

All right.

We'll patch it. With what?

Something rubber, it seems to me, if we use our imagination.

Rubber from the soles of your shoes?

Yes. Great. Start walking.

Any idea how far it is to that village? You don't want to walk? We'll wait.

Something must drive through here every decade or so.

Let's not let this ruin our weekend.

It won't. No, seriously. I'm glad that I came. Are you still glad?

Absolutely.

You get the coats. I'll take these.

The car is going to have to come along soon.

I'm not blaming you, you know. I would never have checked for a spare if I'd

rented the car.

I'm not blaming you either.

Well, of course not. I didn't rent the car.

I would have flown.

Well, we'll certainly be inconspicuous now.

I need a bath and something to eat. I smell like an Angora sweater.

Wolves, Angoras from rabbits, those were sheep. I offered to sit in the back.

You didn't have to say. I was your chauffeur.

You're the one that can't afford the scandal.

You don't think that an 80-year-old sheep farmer is on the payroll of the

London Register?

Gossip starts somewhere.

Ah, sardines.

Sardines.

Sardines. I'll have mine with sardines. I'm sorry, Philip.

I'm sure I told the caretaker to stop the kitchen. Now, why should you be

sorry? It's not your fault.

You're sure you told the caretaker to stop the kitchen?

I did.

I believe you. No, you don't. I do.

Ow!

What'd you do?

Here, we'll run to that under some cold water.

I know I told the caretaker to turn the water on. So much for a bath. Oh, I did

tell him.

First thing tomorrow, I'll fire the caretaker. You can't do that. He's been

in the Duke's family for generations.

I wish he was still in his family, along with his house.

So do I.

Why are you crying?

I just wanted everything to be perfect.

It is perfect.

I don't need food and water when I have you.

Now, let's start all over.

We'll have a couple of sardines, a little romance, and tomorrow it will

seem like none of this ever happened.

Agreed?

Agreed.

Tomorrow, wine, steaks. No mutton.

Absolutely no mutton.

And I'll take you out on my new lake, fishing.

Oh, I've never been fishing.

You'll love it.

I hate it.

That's just because you haven't caught anything yet. Give it a chance.

Probably caught malaria from these black flies.

I don't see any flies.

It wouldn't come near anyone. It's not like wet wool.

What's under here?

Don't open that yet. It's lunch.

Lunch? We're going to be out here until lunch?

Hold your rod a little closer to you like this.

Don't panic.

You hooked a fish.

Oh, I don't want a fish.

Just play him on a little bit.

I don't want a fish. Take it.

Oh, please take it. Don't stand up in a boat.

Don't stand up in a boat.

You never stand up in a rowboat.

If you say that again, I'll scream.

I think I've caught pneumonia.

That was my favorite hat. I will never find another hat like that one.

You were only in the water a minute. Well, it was a very long minute. The

water was freezing.

I bought that hat in Scotland.

It wasn't freezing.

How would you know?

I'm the one that fell in. Now my hat's at the bottom of your lake.

And I'm the one that pulls you out next time I rescue the hat.

I thought you turned the water on. I did.

Well, there's no hot.

I'll call a plumber. Oh, you wanted to run in under to know where we are.

Now you're being paranoid.

All I ever do is try to protect your reputation, and you call it paranoid.

Do you want hot water, or do you know? I want to stop feeling like an escaped

criminal.

If you weren't married, we could call a hundred plumbers. If you weren't the

famous Anne Kingston, a hundred plumbers wouldn't care about either one of us.

Oh, of course, I'm the one to blame. You should have had your little extramarital

fling with a typist from Blackpool. That's not what I meant. It is what you

meant, and what's that? What's the fish doing in here? Fish? Get it out of my

bedroom. I bought this house.

If it's anyone's bedroom, it's my bedroom. And if I want to bring fish

into my bedroom, I'll bring fish into my bedroom. You like your fish?

Then you can have your fish. You can sleep with your fish. You can take your

fish out to dinner and a movie.

Fine. I will.

Fine. I'm leaving.

If I hurry, I can catch the news tonight. Back to London. If that's what

you want. What we both want.

I don't know why it's... It's taken me so long to see it. Neither do I. I've

wasted a lot of time. So have I.

Well, look on the bright side. I'm out of hat, but you, you own real estate in

England.

Oh, you chose those two.

you

What's going on?

Where were you last weekend?

You said you were going to Brighton by yourself.

I was sleeping.

At four in the afternoon.

Is this all you ate for lunch?

Why haven't you returned my phone calls?

I've been sick.

You're not sick.

I was away.

You were back on Monday. Today is Wednesday.

Sit. Haven't you left this room since Monday?

Did you see yesterday's register?

Go away, Margaret. I will not.

Go away.

I'm your sister. You can trust me.

I never told Smitty who broke the Lalique mouse, did I?

Take that pillow off your head and sit up. No.

I'm not leaving till you tell me what's wrong.

Actress and diplomat in weekend loveness. I had to read it in the paper.

You went off with Philip Adams, didn't you?

It doesn't matter.

It's finished.

What?

Finished.

Over with. Done with. Go home, Margaret.

We are going to celebrate.

Come on. Get up.

You knew he was married. You knew it wasn't going to come to anything.

It had to end sooner or later. You're just lucky it ended sooner.

What you need is a hot bath and a night out on the town.

Now, are you getting up?

Or am I going to tell Smitty about the Lalique mouse?

around with Alfred.

When you don't feel like dancing, that's when you have to dance.

Oh, what a wonderful philosophy.

I'm going to have it embroidered on a tea towel.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm ruining your evening. This isn't working.

Why don't you two stay here and have a good time?

I'm leaving.

What's the matter? Are you ill?

He's here.

The right way you are. If anybody should leave, it's Philip.

Look at that woman.

Is that her navel? He sees us.

How can you?

I work with a man, Margaret.

I can't jeopardise international trade for the sake of interpersonal justice.

He's coming over here. He wouldn't dare.

Margaret, act perfectly normally.

Don't say anything. If you say anything, I'll never speak to you again.

Let's all laugh and act as if we're having a good time.

Tell us a joke, Alfred.

I'm very bad at remembering jokes.

That's wonderful. I've never heard that one before. Anne, more champagne.

Hello, Adams.

Margaret, Alfred.

Dance?

No, thanks.

She's promised this one to Alfred.

Please.

Yes, that's right. You promised it to me.

Anne?

One dance.

Anne?

How could you let him?

I didn't let him. She let him.

Won't your date be jealous?

Look, this is ridiculous.

It's your idea, not mine.

I meant last weekend.

Oh, it had to happen.

Because I'm married.

Because only swans mate for life. I thought it was goose.

All love affairs come to an end sooner or later until you accept that, Philip.

You're living in a dream world. Why? Because you haven't been able to make it

work?

What about you, the happily married man?

I'm not happily married.

Oh, I'm shocked.

Remember when I told you about my wife?

At least you didn't lie to me. What if I had? I hate liars.

Maybe there's a reason.

They always have a reason. I mean a good reason. For lying? Why are we talking

about this? You didn't lie to me. You told me the truth.

I made my own choice.

You didn't do anything wrong.

I'm beginning to think I did.

Only in the eyes of the law.

And what about your eye?

Leave my eyes out of it. I can't. Why?

Maybe if you close them. I prefer them open.

So do I.

Don't look at me like that. Like what? Like that.

Damn it, Philip.

Look, if we're going to be miserable apart... Who said I was miserable?

Seriously, I've given this a lot of thought. We might just as well be

miserable together.

At the same time? At the same time.

But most importantly, at the same place.

Hand it.

Don't play so mild.

That's a Christmas present from a very dear friend of mine.

That's right.

That's right.

That's right.

I've been invited to lecture at Harvard. I'll be in Boston for about a week.

You will call me?

Every night.

Northwest Airlines flight 49 non-stop 747 service from London's Gatwick

Airport now arriving at gate 5.

Hello? Hi.

Ten seconds late last night. It was seven the night before five. I can see

the handwriting on the wall. You're cooling.

Hardly. How was your day?

Oh, fine.

How's Harvard? Anything new?

Oh, nothing special.

Oh, there was a little something.

Yes, what was it? Are you ready to be impressed?

Fire away.

The president heard that I was speaking here and flew me down to Washington for

dinner. No.

Yes. What did you have to eat?

Lamb chops.

Why did you ask? Did you expect something else?

Well, yes, something more pretentious, more befitting the occasion.

Well, it wasn't an occasion for him. He eats every night.

Tell me everything that happened.

Well, small talk, really.

Well, you must have discussed something.

Well, nothing... Oh, wait a minute. Now, come to think of it, someone mentioned

your name.

Oh, really?

Who? Who was that? Oh, let me see.

It was the president.

It seems that he's seen many of your films, thinks you're charming. Those

were his exact words.

Well, charming isn't much of a review.

On the other hand, the French ambassador thinks you're very talented and

exciting. That's much better.

And I agreed with both of them. See what a diplomat I am? Yes.

Philip?

Yeah?

It's official.

I'm not doing the movie in America.

I'm glad.

Anne. Yes.

Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow night.

Good night, Lefty.

Good night.

Come on, hang up.

Flowers for Miss Kingston? Oh, put them over there, will you?

You! Out!

Oh, I just want a short statement from Miss Kingston. Out!

How did you know it was me?

I didn't. I kiss every woman who knocks on my door.

Oh,

what's this?

A little birthday celebration.

My birthday's not for Wednesday.

I'm not going to be here Wednesday.

I'm going to Washington.

For how long?

We're entering into an economic negotiation. It's rather a complicated

pact involving NATO, OECD... For how long?

Not long.

Six or seven months.

I see.

I should have taken that film in Los Angeles.

Anne, what if I could get a divorce?

You made the situation clear from the start, Philip. There's no point in what

ifs. But if I could... Don't.

Don't get a divorce? Don't talk like this. It's not possible.

But if it were?

It isn't.

Would you want to marry me? That's not the issue.

Just ask.

Philip, you're feeling guilty and there's no reason.

I'm a big girl. I knew what I was doing.

Could we please talk about something else?

So, what will you do on your birthday?

Oh, what I always do.

Stay home.

Pull the shades.

Eat a box of chocolates and check for more wrinkles.

While I trudge through the airport looking for my luggage.

My plane arrives around 7.30.

Why don't I stop at the bar and we'll drink a toast to each other, 8 o'clock.

Your time or mine?

Yours. I'm serious.

You have to be home, alone, glass in hand, exactly 8 o'clock.

Agreed?

I'm going to miss you so much.

Put me in a very awkward position.

Isn't that the object of the game?

I was speaking of Pan.

Pan?

A foreign office runs a security check on people who have access to our files.

I happened to see your dossier this morning.

I've heard of men who say they're not married when they are.

But I don't recall coming across anyone who says he's married when he's been

divorced for ten years.

Have you said anything to Anne?

Oh, no.

I'm a brother-in-law, not a guardian.

Still... If you weren't leaving London tomorrow, I suppose I'd have to.

You are leaving.

I should explain. Oh, not to me.

Unless I know, the better. Whenever anyone says to me, Alfred, would you

like to hear something confidential?

I always say no.

I have never regretted it.

Besides,

it's obvious.

It is.

A zest and pleasant divorce.

A nightmare.

Followed by one or two difficult affairs.

Disasters. You don't care to get involved again.

Exactly. You don't want them.

Pressure of commitment breathing down your neck during a romantic interlude?

I couldn't have said it better myself.

And what more honourable way to eliminate those expectations and

obligations?

It is honourable, isn't it? Avoids that nasty scene at the end when you get

tired of each other. And she wonders what she's done wrong.

And at exactly what point you stopped loving her.

Insisting there was someone else.

Tears. Recriminations.

And actually, she's probably relieved to have you out.

She is.

And this way you establish the rules from the start. You're already spoken

for. No possibility of misunderstanding.

No possibility at all.

You've done this before, then. Don't make me sound like Bluebeard. Oh, not at

all.

Are you in love with her?

Oh, Margaret, I thought you might be.

Is she dead?

Oh, never mind.

Margaret's the eternal cupid in love with love.

She can't understand my aunt's never married.

She's certainly had plenty of opportunities.

Maybe she hasn't found the right man.

Well, I'm putting my money on Margaret's latest candidate, Alan Seelove.

Just want to pull it, sir.

Something to do with genetic splicing. We ran into him at Fortnum's last

Saturday. He and Anna are sweethearts at Cambridge.

Seems to me they were actually engaged at one point.

Anyway, now that you're out of the picture... Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I

shouldn't have been talking.

Do you want to take it again?

Oh, you look terribly ridiculous, Middy. Terribly ridiculous.

Oh, get all the fruits out. Please.

I don't want it for dinner.

No, it looks awful. Take it off.

Oh!

My dearest Anne, I know none of these can ever replace your favourite hat. The

one lying at the bottom of my... I've asked Anne to meet me here.

Sit down.

I am sitting.

Oh, yes, you are.

I have something to say about Philip. Oh, he must have cleaned out Bond Street

and the arcade for these.

Isn't he wonderful?

He's pond scum.

You can say whatever you like about me, Margaret, and I'd probably agree with

you, but you can't call Philip pond scum.

He's romantic, honest, generous, intelligent.

He saves his marshmallows for last.

If he weren't married, he'd be perfect.

He's not married. Well, that's it then. He's perfect.

What do you mean he's not married?

How long have you known?

This is going to be quite a day.

Would anyone like a drink?

Weren't you going to tell Anne?

What do you mean he's not married? Tell Anne what?

Yes, this is going to be quite a day.

Philip's been lying to you, Annie. He's not married.

He's been divorced for years.

Don't be silly. Of course he's married. He made it clear from the start.

Margaret's telling you the truth.

I can show you his dossier if you like.

And you had no business going through my desk. I wasn't going through your desk.

You left the file right out where I could see it. What if the file had been

top secret? You might have endangered national security.

What about Annie's security?

She was ready to follow him back to the States.

An unmarried man. I just don't understand.

He doesn't want to get involved.

He told you he was married, so you wouldn't have any false hopes. Don't you

dare take his side.

I'm just trying to explain.

If you don't do something about this, I will. Do what?

Challenge him to a fistfight? Oh, stop it, both of you. I have to think.

Call Philip. Tell him we won't be taking him to Lord Stanley's party tonight. No.

You have to bring him. We're supposed to meet there.

But Anne... Everything has to go exactly as planned.

He mustn't know what I know.

You look a little strange. Are you all right?

Perfectly. Yes, I'm perfectly all right. I have to get ready for the party.

Thanks both for stopping by.

I'd better stay with you. Oh, no, don't be silly. I'm fine.

I admit it was a bit of a shock.

But after all, it doesn't really change anything. He was just trying to be

considerate. No false hopes.

Isn't that what you said, Alfred?

I crept through Hotel Alice to see him. I hid in stairwells. I took taxis that

smelt of old cigars. I even wore sunglasses at night so no one would

recognise me.

I stood out on a hotel window ledge on the fourth floor in the...

pouring rain to save his reputation.

I nearly died for him, never mind dying.

I gave up an Oscar.

I went through moral and ethical hell.

I even went fishing.

I told myself, Anne, you're not a fool like every other fool in love with a

married man.

At least I was half right.

Oh, Mags, do me a favor.

Ask Smitty to burn those hats when she gets the chance.

And thank you both for stopping by.

It's all right.

A perfume bottle through the mirror.

Before Anne arrives, you haven't made any plans for her birthday tomorrow

night, have you?

Her birthday?

She thinks I'm leaving for Washington tomorrow.

I've arranged to stay on an extra day, so I thought I'd turn up, take her to

dinner, have a little surprise party for two.

So you wouldn't say anything?

No, of course not.

Oh,

there she is. Anne, over here.

Alfred, Margaret.

Oh, you look beautiful tonight. Oh, you like my dress.

I bought it especially for your last night.

You make it sound like I'm going to be shot at dawn.

I don't own a gun.

I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to buy you a birthday present.

Oh, you can send me something from Washington.

Have your wife pick it out. Tell her it's for Mrs. Thatcher.

Does your wife have good taste?

You're in a very strange mood tonight.

Am I?

What kind of mood would you like?

Romantic.

I still remember the first time I saw you.

My heart began beating very fast as if I'd been running for miles and miles

and...

Your voice when you spoke, when you said my name.

I knew that it was no ordinary day and that you were no ordinary man.

You're no ordinary woman.

No, you say I am a very ordinary man. It's my love for you that is

extraordinary.

Didn't you see hearts and flowers? I was terribly good in it.

Did he say anything else about my birthday, I mean?

Just what I told you. Supper out. It was the prize party for Coos. He wanted to

make sure we weren't taking you anywhere.

There you are.

Miss Kingston?

Oh, thank you.

Yes, ma'am.

One of your fans?

It's from Alan Seelove. I thought I saw him inside.

Margaret, are you behind this?

Don't be silly.

Oh, that always was your favorite flower. How sweet of him to remember.

Would you like to read it?

No, no, it's probably very personal.

Oh, don't be silly.

That really doesn't suit your dress.

Then I'll wear it in my hair.

Alan's such an old friend, I wouldn't like to hurt his feelings.

Is it?

What?

Very personal.

Oh, he asks me to go to the ballet with him next week.

Go on.

Are you going? Where?

To the ballet with Alan Thiela.

Why are we talking about Alan? This is your last night.

We should be talking about Alan. I wish you'd stop saying that this is my last

night.

Alan and I were just a college romance. You know how that is.

An intense passion.

You can't bear to be apart for an instant.

Call each other pet names.

You hold hands, write poetry.

Very silly and very wonderful.

He wrote you poetry?

Would you like to read some?

You still have it?

I thought we weren't going to talk about Alan anymore. Why do you keep bringing

him up?

It was really such a long time ago.

And really just a sexual attraction.

Completely different from ours.

Let's go back to my hotel.

The most awful thing has happened. I've just run into my best friend, Joan.

Joan? She's had a terrible fight with her husband and needs a shoulder to cry

on, so I said I'd go home with her.

What, tonight?

Anne, I'm leaving tomorrow.

Philip, she was so upset. She was crying.

I couldn't say no.

Oh, Philip, I ruined our last night together. I don't remember you

mentioning anybody by the name of Joan.

I must have. She's my very best friend. You've just forgotten.

Kiss me goodbye.

Can't I meet you later?

We'll be up all night talking and crying.

Jane is such an emotional person.

Jane? I thought you said her name was Joan.

Well, it is. It's just that we've always called her Jane.

Oh, Philip, I hate goodbyes. Let's not linger.

I've seen movies with hundreds of farewell speeches. I'm trying to

remember one. I've heard them all.

Yes, I suppose you have.

Well, I guess this is it, then.

Goodbye, Anne.

Very clever and to the point. Don't forget your birthday drink.

Exactly eight o'clock.

Eight o'clock.

I'll picture you in the airport bar.

don't forget thinking of nothing else

It's Anne Kingston, would you? Film star sneaks into Park Lane Hotel. Lovely

photo. You look like a charwoman.

Oh, hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I wondered if you were free

tonight. Who are you talking to? Oh, that would be lovely, Alan.

But why don't you come here?

Alan, see, love. We could have dinner, talk over old times.

About 7.30? Are you out of your mind?

Wonderful. I'll see you then.

Annie, I don't like this.

Why? I thought you'd be pleased you want me to start seeing Alan again, don't

you? You know perfectly well Philip will be here at eight.

The surprise party. It must have slipped my mind. Let Alan take you out tonight.

I'm Philip.

I walk in so handsome in my tuxedo, but trying my best not to give a poor maiden

lady false hopes. Still, I'm ready to accept Anne's joyous embrace. A

surprise at seeing me.

to one more night of ardent love-making. But what's this?

Anne is not alone.

She's sharing Dom Perignon with Alan Seelove and wearing very

compromising attire. Now, do you think the lilac or the black satin? I've

always liked lilac. Me too.

Annie, you can't. It will be a nightmare. He'll remember the rest.

of his life. Why did she? How could she? Did she really love me? Was she seeing

him all along? The questions that will plague him, drive him to destruction.

The blow that will crush his ego, leave him defenseless, shattered, toothless.

Toothless? Well, Alan might have to punch him in the jaw.

You're in love with Philip, aren't you?

Do I sound as if I'm in love with him? If you love him, Annie, don't play games

with him. Tell him the truth.

He's the one pretending to be married. He lied to me. I'm not saying he was

right. I just want to know if you know what you're doing.

For as long as I can remember, you found a reason to ruin every single

relationship that looked as if it might lead to something more than a spaghetti

dinner. I'm your sister. Listen to me.

Are you pushing Philip away because he lied or because he's suddenly available?

Ask yourself.

Margaret. I want you to do me an enormous favor.

On your way home, would you please stop at Harold's, pick up some caviar? You

always choose the best caviar. Don't call me tonight. I'll call you. You've

left to Alfred, love to William. Ask yourself.

Smitty, get out the silver.

Are you?

Oh, hello. Is Mr.

Seelove there, please?

Ah, this is Anne Kingston.

He was supposed to be here half an hour ago.

He did.

All right, thank you very much.

Ah, Peter, it's Anne. I know this is awfully short notice, but I need someone

to come to supper right away.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I understand some other time, then. Thank you. Bye.

Margaret, it's me. It's 7.45. If you get this message within the next five

minutes, call immediately.

I want a man. I need a man. Here.

Right now.

Tonight.

Wait a few minutes.

If I can just... Is that Alan? No, it's not. Go back to your room. Get out. Do

you hear me? I'll have you arrested. I'm from the London Register.

If I could just have two minutes. Get out. I warned you. I'm calling the

police. That's not Miss Kingston. And I'll have that if you don't mind.

What's your name? It doesn't matter. From now on, you're Alan. Missy, get the

caveat. Come with me.

But he's a reporter from the London Register.

He's a man.

Come with me.

But I wanted to talk about Philip Adams.

But I can wait. Oh, I wish you were wearing something else. Never mind.

Do you know anything about genetic engineering?

Well, what's wrong with what I'm wearing? Come in here, quickly.

Come on. Now, listen very, very carefully.

Can you stand up a bit straighter? Look, you don't mind, do you? Just jogs the

memory like you're on. Of course, I won't use you without your consent. You

heard her.

Shoulders back and suck in your gout.

No time. It's Philip. Whatever I say, just follow along. Can you do that? Yes.

Get under the bed. Under the bed? You want a story, don't you? Exclusive. Get

under the bed.

Smitty, you get the door. Remember what I told you. Act very upset when you see

him. Say, Mr. Adams, what are you doing here? She's in her room. No, you can't

go upstairs.

Mr. Adams, what are you doing here? Get under the bed. In her room. No, you

can't go upstairs. And leave something sticking out. What?

A hand, a foot, something.

Oh, no, that's too much. Get under the bed.

Two fingers. Perfect.

Becky didn't expect to see me. Mr. Adams, what are you doing here?

She's in her room. No, you can't go upstairs.

That's wonderful.

Smitty, we're fine.

Take the rest of the night off.

It's not Smitty.

Ann?

Phyllis! I thought you left this morning. What a wonderful surprise. I'm

so glad to see you come in. Such beautiful flowers.

It doesn't look like you need them. Are you alone? I heard laughter.

That was the radio.

I hope you haven't brought me a birthday present.

You're enough of one.

What's that?

Caviar.

It's set for two.

Yes. I was pretending that you were here with me.

Come and sit on the bed.

Ow!

What was that?

That? Oh, that was me. I'd forgotten to put your flowers in water and I went,

ow!

Move out of the way. What? There's someone under there. There's no one

under there. Come on out. Philip!

Come out.

Come on. Oh, oh.

Take it easy, will you?

Alan, are you all right? Oh, Philip, it's not what he looks like. I can

explain everything.

You're Alan? I won't shake hands if you don't mind.

Philip, please.

I thought you said he was in your class at Cambridge. He was.

He was my professor.

I was her professor.

I can explain everything. It's not what you think. I'll show myself to the door.

I came here tonight to ask you to marry me. Well, you can't. You're already

married.

There's no point in explaining it now.

I thought you loved me.

Where's my tape recorder?

I'm so sorry.

Alan Seeloff.

Anne is expecting me, isn't she? I'm afraid I'm a bit late. I had a sportive

car trouble on the way in.

You're Alan?

Yes. Have we met?

If you're Alan, who's the man under the bed?

Under the bed?

Philip! Wait!

Alan.

Hello, Anne. Sorry to be late. What's going on here? Who was that man in your

bedroom? It was brand new.

You're not having an affair, are you?

And you're not married, are you?

I did try to call. Have I come at a bad time? I was going to tell you.

When? About half past six when I had the flat. Who is this fellow?

Just because I made you jealous. It cost me 20 pounds.

You expected me to be jealous of that old man under your bed? This old man

could put you through the window.

Why do you think I'm here and not on a plane to Washington?

Take it easy, old boy. Has he been drinking? Get on that plane to

Washington. Go ahead.

It's certainly what you want. And I won't regret it. Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not next year. Not the rest of my life.

You're in love with me and you know it. Would you like me to throw him out? How

can I love you? Our whole relationship has been based on a lie. A lie that you

told. All relationships have a couple of lies here and there and that's where

they survive.

Thank you. Don't mention it. Get out of here, both of you. Not until we've had a

little talk. Leave me alone. Excuse us. Leave me alone.

Don't open that door.

You were relieved when you thought I was married, admit it. I was devastated.

Safely married, temporarily in London, the perfect setup. I went through moral

and ethical hell.

When I said I could get a divorce... A divorce?

From who?

Whom? Whom?

There was no home.

That's not the point. That is the point. What is? The point is... The point...

You know what the point is. All this time, you never asked me why I couldn't

get a divorce. It would have been very bad manners. You said it yourself. It

was easier to go to bed with a good book. It was a nice, safe relationship.

You liked it.

Liked it?

You know why you're angry.

You can't think of one good reason not to marry me.

I can think of several. Name one.

I don't have to. All right, I will.

One, you'll meet someone else. Two, I'll meet someone else.

Three,

we'll hurt each other. Four, worse, bore each other.

Five, you know what it's like to be alone, but what about being lonely in a

crowd of two?

Six, romance is best when it's brief. Nothing lasts forever. Certainly not

this. Seven, you might wake up one morning, look at me and wonder who the

hell I am. Eight, I'm afraid too. Nine, ten, look, Ann, you don't have to marry

me. You'll survive, I'll survive, a goddamn gorilla can survive. Are you

through?

But can he, Gam?

Can a gorilla lay his very soul on the line?

Can he bet his last chip? Can he risk everything in order to gain everything?

What's it gonna be?