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Arf! Arf!

¶ He was the shaggiest dog ¶

¶ he was the shaggiest dog ¶

¶ he was the spookiest dog I ever did see ¶

arf! Arf! Arf!

Go on, get outta here! Go on!

Git!

¶ I saw that dog upon a stair ¶

¶ I looked again and he wasn't there ¶

¶ I looked once more and what did I see ¶

¶ that great big shaggy dog a-grinnin' at me ¶

¶ he was the shaggiest dog I ever met ¶

¶ he was the shaggiest dog oh, what a pet ¶

¶ he was the spookiest dog I ever did see ¶

¶ how do I know well, give a listen to me ¶

¶ he was the shaggiest dog ¶

¶ he was the shaggiest dog ¶

¶ he was the spookiest dog I ever did see ¶

¶ how do I know well, give a listen to me ¶

¶ I'll catch that dog one happy day ¶

¶ I'll tie him up I'll make him stay ¶

¶ I'll make him fetch I'll make him heel ¶

¶ I'm gonna prove to all the world he's really real ¶

¶ he's the shaggiest raggiest, spookiest dog ¶

¶ in town ¶¶ - arf! Arf!

This is a shaggy dog story.

It could have happened anywhere or to anyone.

It so happened that it happened to Wilson Daniels,

a man who loved people but hated dogs.

Go on, get out of here! Go on! Git!

Go on, get out of here!

Morning, dear. - Good morning, dear.

Blast!

Yes, dear? That's ridiculous! Of all the sickly sentimentality!

Giving a medal to a dog! Don't get the paper in the butter, dear.

Making a big hero outta him! - What'd he do?

He dragged a baby from a burning building. Who couldn't do that?

Don't upset yourself, Wilson.

Dogs! Yapping and snapping at a man's heels!

"Man's best friend." If I ever find the idiot who said that...

Most people love dogs. I suppose I'm some kind of freak because I don't.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear. Frankly, I think...

That dogs don't like mailmen because sometimes they bring bad news.

Animals sense those things, you know. Ahh!

Frieda, I am proud of the 20 years I've spent in the mail service.

Neither snow, nor rain, nor sleet, nor dogs ever kept me from my appointed rounds.

But those blasted dogs tried!

You were very brave.

Where are the boys? They had breakfast early.

They're in the cellar tinkering with something.

What with this time? I'm not sure.

Is there something called an "issle interceptor"?

"Issle interceptor"? - Mmm.

You must mean "missile interceptor."

Frieda, I've been thinking.

As long as you're not taking a firm hand with wilby, I've got to do something about it.

What do you mean, dear?

For one thing, that mess he got us into last week.

Which mess was that? The one where...

He had the police throw the new Dean of the divinity school into jail as a public enemy.

Oh, well, that was because of the picture on the bulletin board...

In the post office. - Yeah.

It did look a little like the new Dean.

What I propose to do about wilby is...

Missile interceptor!

Grandmother hessy's China!

Maybe you better switch it off, wilby.

How can I switch it off? I haven't switched it on yet.

Maybe we better take it out to the launching site.

Yeah, hurry!

Never mind. It's too late!

Get the upstairs area cleared. Hurry up!

Pop, could you and mom come outside now and sort of hurry, please?

Well, save something!

Moochie, where's wilby?

He's still in the basement. Still in the...

Come on, wilby!

Well, I guess we've officially entered the rocket age,

eh, pop?

It would be great to be up there riding it, wouldn't it, pop?

I wish I was on it right now.

Wilson!

Pop sure was sore. - Yeah, I know.

I always seem to rub him the wrong way.

Wilby?

Pop, how'd you get up here? I piled up some boxes.

I'm sorry to have to say this to you, but I want you...

To get rid of all that junk in the basement. All, sir?

All of it! I want you to dismantle the workshop, bury those chemicals,

and give away all those mechanical gadgets. - Yes, sir.

I want you to lose or give away or do something...

With all the mice, hamsters, bats, crickets, bugs, snails...

And heaven knows what other plagues of mankind lurk there. Yes, sir.

Now, get down off this roof, both of you, before you fall off and ruin the flower beds.

Be careful. Those boxes look kind of rickety. - Thank you.

I'll do all right. Thank you.

We better get down from here!

Hi, Allison!

Ohh!

That's old knothead for ya. Always showing off!

The flowers! That's just what pop said not to do.

You all right, wilby? - Sure, I'm fine.

Buzz, may I talk to you for a moment?

Excuse me.

Look, wilby, I'm in a hurry. What about my seven bucks?

What about it? - Cough it up.

Pop pulled the plug on my allowance. Look, I'm sorry.

You know how it is. I've got a date with Allison.

I'm sick and tired of financing your romances.

I'd like to take Allison out myself.

Y-you want a date with Allison? - And why not?

Wilby, have you ever taken a girl,

any girl, out on a date?

Well... not exactly.

Now you want to move right in on the most popular girl in town.

Buzz, are we or are we not gonna play tennis?

Coming. Excuse me. - Just a minute, buzz.

Great sufferin' cats!

Ah, chiffon. J'adore tes yeux bruns, mon petit chou...

Tu es chou toi maintenant.

Wha... What's she sayin'?

Ne pense pas a te sauver,

tu comprends?

Baby.

Frieda, what are you doing? Just having a look at the new neighbors, dear.

They're moving into that gloomy, old coverly mansion. You ought to be ashamed.

Give me my glasses. Who are they, anyway?

He's the new assistant curator at the county museum,

a man by the name of andrassy, Dr. mikhail andrassy.

Doctor, huh? - My reports aren't in yet,

but Murphy Jones, who leased the place, told me...

I'd rather not know how you get your gossip,

but what else do you know about them? Well,

he's supposed to be a well-known art expert.

He spent some time in a prison camp after the war. Reason, unknown.

He worked in the famous uffizi museum in Florence, Italy.

There is a daughter, seventeen years old.

Been studying art in Paris.

How dare they bring a camel into this neighborhood!

No... it's a dog!

A blasted, dratted dog!

One bratislavian sheepdog.

Supposed to be a very rare breed.

I'm going to have to move into the back bedroom. Don't start falling apart.

That dog thing is all in your mind! All in my mind?

I itch, my sinuses are ballooning up,

my throat is constricting so I can hardly breathe.

Those old pekingese wounds on my ankle are throbbing like bongo drums.

You say it's all in my mind! If you say so, okay!

Come along, Wilson. Lie down and rest for a while.

Wait a minute. What about my seven bucks?

What do you know? I think he likes me. That's his problem.

I'm more interested in the little mam'selle who owns him.

You shouldn't be running across the street like that, dog.

You're liable to be hurt. - By golly, you're right!

I'll bet she's worried about him. I better take him back.

Come on, pooch. Wait a minute. This dog came to me.

All right, come on along. Maybe ol' buzz can teach you something.

Well, of all the nerve!

Yes? - We brought back your dog.

- The mam'selle's dog. - Qui est-ce, Stefano?

Deux jeunes gens.

Ah, chiffon, qu'as-tu fait? D'ou viens tu, vilain.

Et qu'est-ce que je peux faire pour vous?

Um, uh, me...

Uh, bring... Uh, dog... you.

Him, me... We do this.

What is it, franceska?

Chiffon ran away and these two nice Indian boys brought him back.

Indians, this far east? We're not...

I mean, we're not Indian.

I didn't know you spoke English. But, of course!

- My daughter speaks seven languages. - - How many do you speak?

My name is franceska, and this is my father, Dr. andrassy.

How do you do, gentlemen. Bring that over here, please.

I'm buzz Miller. This is wilby Daniels.

He lives down the street. Then we're neighbors!

Won't you come in?

You'll have to excuse the house. We're just moving in, you know.

Boy, look at all the stuff!

Some of it is stuff, but some of it is rather priceless.

Look. Here's a titiano.

A tintoretto, a rodin and a vecchini.

This is a very fine piece, a forzini, early 16th century.

Probably worth, oh, three or four thousand dollars.

I believe there's an El greco over there in the music room.

That's another tintoretto.

I'd better put it out of the way.

Well, look at that!

I've never seen chiffon take such a fancy to anyone!

He sure is friendly!

Who's she? - Lucretia borgia.

You remember the borgias, of course! Oh sure. Who?

The borgias were notorious during the dark ages in Italy.

Some people say the borgias dabbled in black magic.

Black magic?

Hey!

The dog in the picture, isn't he the same kind as this one?

Yes, a bratislavian sheepdog.

The breed has mostly died out now.

Chiffon is one of the few left.

It's very lonely for him, poor petit chou.

Excuse me, franceska.

Would you be good enough to take the orsini artifacts to Dr. Howard at the museum.

He's waiting for them. Certainly, father.

Why don't I drive you down? My car's right outside.

Wait, we'll both take you. I'll get my purse.

What's the big idea? I thought my driving made you nervous.

The only thing about you that makes me nervous...

Is my $7, if you know what I mean?

All right, if you want to come along, glad to have you. - Thank you.

What a sweet little museum! Yeah, it's not bad.

I put in quite a bit of time around this place studying the arts.

Then how come you got lost gettin' here?

Say, that's not a bad-looking deal!

C'est charmant.

Personally, I go in for the old Egyptian stuff like that.

That figures.

Franceska?

Buzz?

Buzz?

Buzz!

Buzz!

Eh! Eh!

You scared me, professor. You ought to be. Serves you right.

You shouldn't be wandering around here until the exhibit is open.

I've worked day and night to get it ready.

I'm sorry, professor plumcutt. I was looking for some friends of mine.

You know me? Why of course!

It's wilby Daniels, isn't it? - Yes, sir.

I used to deliver your paper. - So you did!

Or did you? Come to think of it,

I don't recall getting my papers lately.

No, sir. I gave up my route two years ago. Oh! Oh, well.

That just goes to show how often I read a newspaper.

Nothing interesting happens to people these days.

Now, in the delightfully evil days of the borgias,

something interesting happened to people every day.

Yes, sir. I guess they did, sir. I'd better...

Wilby, do you realize that this civilization knew all about sorcery,

even about shape-shifting and the casting of spells?

What's shape-shifting? Shape-shifting was the medieval art...

Of borrowing somebody else's body to live in for a while.

A most interesting practice.

You've heard all about people being changed...

Into cats, dogs and other creatures, haven't you?

Ah, professor, you don't believe in this stuff, do you?

Well, it may surprise you to hear, my boy, that I do.

I know people laugh at these things today,

but if they were honest, they'd admit that there are moments...

On dark and lonely nights when something stirs within us...

And reawakens ancient fears and beliefs.

I'd better be going now. I have to find my friends.

Yes, come in and see me again. Look out!

Sorry. - No, no. It's all right.

Oh, look, wilby. Run along now, will you?

I-I'll take care of these.

Are you sure it's all right? Yes, please. Please.

Well, they say it takes all kinds.

Then it's a date? - It's a date.

Good deal!

I wonder what happened to wilby?

Don't worry about knothead. He loves museums.

Bye, now. - Au revoir.

Hi, wilby!

Who gets the mice and the hamsters?

Pete hammers. He always wanted 'em.

Mickey Warren gave me a buck for your chemistry stuff.

I promised to throw in Harry the bat for free.

What about old Zachary here? I couldn't unload him.

Nobody wanted him. Poor ol' Zack. I know just how you feel.

Come on, wilby. Quit feelin' sorry for yourself.

Pop'll get over it. Yeah, pop'll get over it, but I won't.

I'll still be the same mixed-up guy I've always been.

All right, boys. Time for bed.

If you haven't finished, be sure and finish tomorrow.

Be right up, pop.

You comin', wilby? - In a minute.

What the heck is this?

How do you suppose...

Oh, I know. It must have fallen in when I knocked over the professor's case.

"In canis corpore, transmuto."

Sounds like Latin.

Wish I knew more than just first-year Latin.

Canis? Canis?

That's "dog."

Dog... into dog,

something... transmuto.

"In canis corpore, transmuto."

"In canis corpore, transmuto."

It's a transmuto, and away we go...

With a Doe-see-Doe.

Wait a minute!

What's going on here?

Stop! Now wait, somebody, whoever you are.

I was just kidding!

Wilby!

Wilby, come on now. It's getting late.

No. No!

No. No!

- No-o-o! - Wilby?

Yipe! - Wilby.

Ohh!

Wilby, come on up now. It's getting late.

Okay, pop.

You catching a cold?

Your mother told you to wear a sweater down here.

A sweater? I've got a sweater.

Well, come on up now.

Oh, poor pop.

This'll kill him. What'll I do?

Gosh, what'll I do? Professor plumcutt!

He'll know.

Now, to get by pop.

¶¶

¶¶

Professor plumcutt?

Hello, fellow.

I've gotta talk to you.

You know, dogs are not allowed in here.

I'm not a dog. I'm wilby Daniels.

Wilby Daniels!

Are you really?

Well, well!

You know, I'm not surprised.

The first time I saw you I said to myself, "that boy's a potential shape-shifter."

Is that what happened to me? - Of course!

How on earth did you manage it?

I think this ring had something to do with it.

The borgia ring!

Where did you find it? I've looked everywhere for it.

Well, uh, it fell in the cuff of my trousers.

Thank you very much for returning it.

It's a very rare and unusual ring.

Professor! - What's the matter?

- What about me? - What about you?

I don't wanna be a dog! - You don't?

No, of course not. Can't you help me?

Yes, but... how?

Apparently you've become involved with some old spell cast upon this ring...

Probably by one of the borgias.

It sounds just like them.

How do I get out of it? Don't ask me, my boy. How should I know?

There are all kinds of spells. Some of them break themselves after a while,

while others come and go like a headache.

Come and go? - Yes. Sometimes you'll be a dog...

And sometimes you'll be a boy for hours at a time,

sometimes longer.

You never can tell. That's what makes it so interesting.

Well, how can I break the spell?

An act of heroism might break the spell. Heroism?

Of course! Why didn't I think of it first?

Heroism has always been an important and most potent factor in breaking spells.

Do you remember "the hound of Florence"? "Hound of Florence"?

No, sir. - It's the famous story of a young man...

Who was changed into a dog, just as you have been.

He was in love with a beautiful girl, and one night got into a terrible fight...

Defending her against the intentions of an evil Duke.

The Duke grabbed the dagger and plunged it into the dog.

The dog fell to the ground,

and as the poor animal lay there with the dagger deep in his heart,

he suddenly changed back into a man again.

Dagger in the heart? - Yes.

That'd kill me!

No, no. You, you don't grasp the point of the story.

What I was trying to say is that it is possible to break such a spell.

Now, you must excuse me. I have work to do.

Isn't there anything I can do? Yes. Be happy...

And keep a stiff upper lip.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

One-l-two-nine, code six, one-a-seven-nine, no warrant.

One-two-four-nine, Roger. All units out at once.

Stand by. - Oops, sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

What'd you say? - Hmm? I said, I'm sorry.

That's what I thought you said.

Kelly? Yeah, what's the matter with you?

You see a dog just then? Yeah, why?

Did you hear... Hear what?

Forget it.

Forget it, I said. Forget it!

All right, then. I'll forget it!

¶¶

¶¶

Wilby, moochie! Time to get up!

Be right with ya, pop.

Hey, wilby, I had the funniest dream last night.

I dreamed that you were a dog.

Come on, wilby. Wake up.

It was the greatest dream.

You came in this room as a big ol' shaggy dog.

Hey, wilby, wake up.

Oh boy! How'd you get in here?

How did I get in here? I live here.

You talk just like wilby. - I am wilby.

No, you're a dog. Where you goin'?

Dog?

Oh! It can't be true! No!

Do you think pop will let me keep you?

Shut up a minute. Let me think.

I'll be good to ya, honest I will.

Boy, we'll have great times together. Great times together?

What are you talkin' about? What's the matter? Uh-oh.

I hope pop won't shoot you. - Huh?

He swore that the first time he caught a dog in this house he'd...

You two better be outta bed when I get up there. And open that door!

Yipe! Here he comes.

Hurry! Get under there.

Come on!

All right, come on, you birds.

Good morning, pop. Good morning, moochie.

How are you this morning? Very fine, thank you.

Wilby? - Pop! Listen to this.

Very nice. Now stop playing it and get dressed.

But, pop, I just learned it.

Very good. Now, get dressed.

Wilby, I want you out of that bed right now!

And you brush your teeth.

Oh, that was a close one.

Don't worry, boy. Gosh, why did this have to happen to me?

It's just terrific, wilby. How'd it happen?

I don't know exactly. Remember,

we were down in the basement last night? Uh-huh.

Morning, dear. Good morning, dear.

Frieda, have you seen any dogs around here?

Of course not. They wouldn't dare.

Are my eyes getting puffy?

You've always had puffy eyes, dear.

I know that, but they feel like they're getting puffier.

Frieda, if I thought for a moment that...

- Frieda, I hope I can trust you. - What do you mean?

You're always telling me how much moochie wants a dog...

Yes?

I know you two wouldn't gang up on me, but...

Sometimes I get the feeling that you're not in sympathy with my problem.

Wilson, I think you'd better eat your eggs.

Did professor plumcutt say...

You had to stay a dog all the time? - He didn't exactly know.

- Gee, I hope so. - You what?

Gosh, you know how much I always wanted to have a dog.

I'm not gonna be your dog!

I'll teach you all kinds How to sit up, beg, roll over...

And all that stuff! Cut it out, will ya?

Boys! Stay here. I'll tell him you're not hungry.

Hungry? I'm starved!

- You like nice, meaty bones? - You know what I like. Hurry!

Don't worry, boy. I'm gonna take good care of you.

Take care of me! Hmph!

Psst! Psst!

Pop? - Hmm?

What's this ad?

It's a sale on lawn mowers.

Interesting, isn't it?

Yes, uh-hmm.

How did you get in here? Shoo! Shoo!

Go home! Go home!

Don't you know it isn't safe for a dog in this house?

- Go home! - My toast!

Toast coming up. Shoo!

Frieda? - Yes?

Is there a dog in the kitchen? A dog?

Yes, dog. D-o-g. - Dog.

What kind of a dog?

That's all I wanted to know! Pop, where you goin'?

To the hall closet. What for?

To get my shotgun. You can't shoot your own...

My own what? Your own neighbor's dog!

Oh, can't I? Pop, you can't shoot that dog.

Ohh!

That's right, run, you cowardly fleabag!

Next time you come on my property, I'll...

I'll... Well, I just will!

I just don't understand it!

He's never stayed out all night before. I'm sure, mademoiselle,

he will return for his meals. If you'd watch him more carefully,

these things wouldn't happen.

I'm sorry, mademoiselle. There you are!

Where have you been all night, you wretched beast?

Chiffon, get down from there!

Oh, chiffon, mon petit. I've been so worried about you.

What have you been up to, vilain?

You're all forgiven. Come on.

How 'bout some breakfast?

Well, since when do you eat at the table?

I'll get you breakfast. Come on.

Stefano, the door.

Yes?

Dr. andrassy is expecting me. My name is thurm.

Yes, Mr. thurm. Come in.

Please, follow me.

What's the matter? I thought you were hungry.

Well, go on!

Oh no, you don't. Get back in the kitchen.

A la cuisine. Stefano? - Mademoiselle?

Take chiffon. See that he doesn't run away again.

Do you understand? Oui, mademoiselle.

You're always causing me trouble, aren't you?

Get in there. I don't have time to watch you every minute.

Now, let's see you get out of there!

It's me! It's me!

Here, wilby.

Wilby! Here, wilby!

Wilby! Here, boy!

Here, wilby! Wilby!

Here, boy. Here, wilby!

Here, boy. Here, wilby!

Wilby? - What do you think you're doin'?

Ah, gee! What's the matter?

You're not a dog anymore.

You were gonna put this dog collar on me, weren't ya?

Don't get sore about it. Forget it. I'm through with that dog business.

You sure?

No. Where's pop?

He's in there cleaning his gun.

Well, I guess I'll have to hide these for a while.

Did you wash your hands? - Yep.

Wilson, if you don't mind, we'll have dinner early tomorrow night.

We're all going to the country club dance.

Is my good suit clean? - Had it done last week.

Wilby, why don't you take a girl to the dance?

Wilby?

He's a little young for dating, isn't he? Nonsense!

Just because you didn't go out with girls until you were twenty-three.

That's not true. I was twenty.

Besides, I was shy.

Well, anyway, wilby can't exist in a vacuum.

Besides, you've already taken all his hobbies away from him.

I'd say it was a big jump from birds' eggs to girls.

There is nothing wrong with girls. They're character building.

Wilby, why don't you ask Allison to the dance?

Allison? Buzz takes her to all the dances.

Oh. Well, then, someone else.

There must be dozens of lovely girls who'd be delighted to go with you.

Why's he have to take a girl? Why can't he go with me?

That's a great idea, that is!

Why don't you take that new girl down the street,

Dr. andrassy's daughter?

Franceska! No, I wouldn't have a chance with her.

See who that is, will you, wilby?

Wilby, could I talk to you in private for a second?

You know, knothead, uh, wilby, you're the best friend I have.

Uh-uh, buzz. Not a cent!

Oh, wilby, I don't come to see you just when I need money.

All right, I'm sorry.

The point is, I, uh, I do have a problem.

I'm supposed to take Allison to the country club dance. I know.

Well, I happened to mention the dance to franceska.

You know how it is. She's a smooth worker.

Before I knew it, I asked her to go too. What do you want me to do?

All you have to do is come along and make a foursome out of it.

You don't have to be with anybody. - I don't get ya.

Don't ya see?

I'll handle it so that both girls think they're with me.

Then everybody's happy. I don't see how that makes me happy.

Well, sure you do! It's fun.

We're playing a harmless little joke on the girls.

Well, what do you say?

Anything's better than going with my little brother.

I just don't see how it's gonna work. You just come along...

And watch the ol' master at work, huh, buddy, pal?

Oh!

Say, I'll need gas for tomorrow night.

You don't happen to have a buck on you, do you?

How nice you look, wilby. - Thank you.

So do you. - Thank you.

Don't bother getting out. I'll get your date for you.

Imagine, taking the prettiest girl in town to the dance!

Oh. Oh, well, you know.

Franceska certainly seems to find you attractive.

You really think so?

Of course, I'm not as sophisticated as she is,

but there is something about you lately, something unusual.

You girls know one another. - Of course.

Hello, wilby. - Hi, franceska.

You both better ride in front with me.

The wind in the back is murder on the hair. You're so thoughtful, buzz.

Et tres charmante, n'est-ce pas?

Sorry, I don't speak French. - Oh.

¶¶

¶¶

¶¶

Allison, will you do something for me? What is it?

You know, this is wilby's first dress-up date...

And he's scared stiff.

Scared of what? - Franceska!

That's silly. She's his date, isn't she?

Sure, but you know how shy he is,

and franceska's kind of spectacular.

It's got him tied up in knots. - So?

I thought if you could dance the first dance with him...

You're old friends. It might break the ice for him.

Since when are you so concerned about wilby?

Well, I like to see everyone happy.

Thanks, Allison. You're a real doll.

Wilby, aren't you and Allison gonna have the first dance?

Well, sure. How 'bout it, Allison? Wanna dance?

Love to.

Shall we? - Mais oui.

¶¶

They're sweet together, aren't they?

Yeah, that's what makes it so tough. What does?

Wilby's got a tremendous crush on Allison.

Trouble is, he's so shy.

Allison goes more for the sophisticated type.

She can't see wilby for sour apples. Poor wilby.

He is very nice, isn't he? Don't you worry.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Buzz? - Hmm?

I have a rather amusing idea. - What's that?

Suppose I make a fuss over wilby and pretend to be interested in him.

You mean, make Allison jealous?

Oh, just a little bit. You're a genius!

I never would have thought of that in a million years!

The next number will be a lady's tag dance.

¶¶

Tag dance. - Pardon?

It's customary.

The custom, is it not?

¶¶

¶¶

What's the big idea? You told me to break the ice, didn't you?

Fine, break it. Don't melt it!

Excuse me.

¶¶

You know, it's amazing. All those pretty girls,

they actually seem to enjoy dancing with wilby. And why not?

I'd have bet anything he was gonna be the all-American wallflower.

There are a lot of things about your son that you don't know.

The next number is a "Paul revere"!

¶¶

¶¶

Shall we, dear? - Love to!

Excuse us, moochie. No more cake, sweetheart.

¶¶

¶¶

¶¶

¶¶

¶¶

Wilby!

Wilby!

Wilby!

What's the big idea? Get down!

Don't give me trouble. You got trouble. Look at yourself.

Oh no! Not here! Not now! Please!

Wilby, are you all right?

Oh boy, you're a dog again!

What are you so happy about?

Gosh, you know you're a lot more fun as a dog than you are as my bro...

Ah, shut up and get me outta here.

Okay, boy. I don't want anything to happen to you now.

Come on. Sneak out that way.

Chiffon! What in the world is he doing here?

Who? - Chiffon. Chiffon!

Get him, buzz. - O-oh yeah!

Ahh!

There's that blasted dog again! Get away! What's he doing here?

See ya later, boy. Look out!

Come here, you mangy mutt!

Come here!

Come on, moochie. Time for bed, dear.

Hello? Wilby, where are you?

Pop! - Just a minute. It's late.

Isn't it time you were getting home? Is he all right?

Yes, he's all right. We wondered what happened to you.

I suppose you went chasing after that girl's dog too.

Is it all right if you stay at buzz's tonight? It's all right, pop.

Yes, it's all right, wilby.

Hey, Kelly, you got a dime for the phone?

Whoops! Sorry, officer hanson.

Bye!

Kelly, here's your dime. Can we go now, please?

I thought you were gonna call home. - I changed my mind. Let's go.

- You said it was important. - I know what I said. It was a whim.

Sometimes I'm just full of little whims.

Can we go now, please? But you...

Forget it, I said. Forget it!

All right, I'll forget it.

Don't bother, buzz.

Good night, franceska. I hope you find your dog.

Thank you, Allison. Good night. Good night.

In the words of your charming other date,

"don't bother!" - Oh, wait!

I can explain everything. - Good night!

Well, that's gratitude for you!

I beg your pardon?

Here I almost break my neck trying to catch that dog of yours,

he drags me all over a parking lot and you won't listen to me. So?

Besides that, I've got a deep cut over my eye...

And it'll probably be infected by the time I get home.

Oh well, I... I guess I don't blame you.

Oh, come on inside. I'll clean your scratch.

Now you're talking!

Agh!

What the...

Oh, what a night.

Is chiffon here? Yes, mademoiselle. He's in the kitchen.

I'm quite displeased with you, Stefano.

I distinctly asked you to keep chiffon locked up tonight.

I left him in the kitchen, carefully locked the door.

Still he escaped. We won't discuss it now.

Please, go in and sit down. I want to see if chiffon is all right.

Will you forget about that mutt for once?

It was all wilby's fault that I got into this mess.

Wilby's? Yeah, it's all his fault.

Because I have a soft heart, and was trying to do him a favor.

Ouch, that stings! There. It's all done now.

Wilby didn't have enough nerve to get himself a date,

so he cooked up this thing. Why are you blaming this all on wilby?

Oh, don't let him fool you. He's not as dumb as he looks.

Why, behind that simple face...

Well, I don't want to talk about my best friend like that.

Let's talk about us.

You know, franceska, I've never met a girl like you.

No, I'm not kidding.

There's something about you that...

Chiffon! There you are.

What a bad dog you've been, mon chéri.

Running away again and scaring poor franceska half to death!

Bad boy.

I sure hate to see you waste all that on a mutt.

Why? What do you mean?

I mean, forget about tonight. Forget wilby and the whole mess.

Like I said before, let's talk about us.

You know, franceska,

the first time I saw you...

I said to myself,

"buzz, there's just the girl for..."

Does he have to keep looking at me like that?

Look, fella, I've had just about enough trouble for one night.

Now beat it!

Will you get lost?

Buzz!

Hey, what's the big idea?

Get off, will ya? Franceska!

- Chiffon, stop it! - He's flipped his lid!

Let go!

Ca suffit! - Get him off!

What has gotten into you? Stop it this instant!

I think you'd better leave, buzz.

I'm beginning to get the point. Your dog doesn't like me.

- I'm sorry. - That's okay.

I'll just find my own way out.

Bad dog, you. Good night. - Good night.

You behaved very badly tonight, chiffon.

Buzz is really a nice boy.

A little, shall we say, conceited? Come on.

Yes?

I just wanted to say good night, father. - Did you have a pleasant time?

Yes, thank you. But the odd thing was,

I found chiffon at the dance. Chiffon was there?

I don't understand how he keeps getting out of the house.

May I leave him with you tonight?

Certainly, dear. I'm sure he won't get away from me.

Good night, franceska. - Good night.

Now you behave yourself,

you stupid, wonderful dog.

Mm-mmm!

Thurm, what is the meaning of this?

You were asked not to come here at night!

It's most urgent, doctor. I dared not use the phone.

Is anything wrong at the missile plant? On the contrary.

Good news. I've been transferred to section 32.

Section 32. Excellent!

With what I've already given you,

this should be all you need. - How soon can you get it here?

Taking all precautions, I'd say tomorrow night by 8:00.

That means that the complete mechanism...

Of the undersea hydrogen missile will be in our hands. Yes, sir.

Now we must get it out of the country, immediately.

Oh, no you don't. No you don't, my friend!

You're not getting out of this house tonight.

All right, up on the couch. Up!

Good night, thurm.

I'll expect you tomorrow night at 8:00.

I certainly would like to know what has gotten into you lately.

Spies!

I've gotta tell somebody.

I've gotta get outta here.

The laundry chute!

Well, here goes.

Aaah!

Easy, easy.

Yeah.

Whoa!

What'll I do now?

Hi, pop. - Hi, son. Wilby home yet?

No, sir.

What's this you're reading?

"How to train your dog"?

Gosh, pop,

I thought someday you might change your mind about dogs.

Let me tell you something, young man.

As long as I've got a mind, there'll never be a dog in this house!

"How to train..."

There.

Hey, mooch!

Is that you, wilby? - Well, now, who'd you think it was?

Gosh, I've been worried about you.

Will you stop patting me? I don't like it.

Where you been? Mooch, we've gotta get some help, and fast!

That house is full of spies.

Spies? Oh, swell, that'll be fun playin'!

This isn't a game. It's serous!

Ah, wilby.

They're stealing something from the missile plant. The missile plant?

I don't know what it is exactly,

but they call it section 32.

They're sending it out of the country tonight.

Wow! I'd better tell pop.

Pop? - Sure, he'll know what to do.

Now, you just stay outta sight. - Okay.

Pop, pop! Can I talk to you for a minute? Certainly. What is it?

Will you please put down that paper?

It's very urgent. - All right.

I just found out somethin'. What did you find out?

You know those people down the street, Dr. andrassy and them?

Yeah. - They're spies.

Spies, huh? Well.

Pop, I'm not kiddin'. They're stealing somethin' from the missile plant,

somethin' called section 32.

Section 32, huh? That's very interesting.

But pop, you gotta believe me.

We gotta do somethin' about it. Moochie, I'm surprised at you.

I knew we had one wooly-headed son in this family... wilby isn't wooly-headed.

He's the one that heard 'em talkin'.

Oh, he's the one that heard 'em. That explains the whole thing.

Run along now, huh, moochie?

But pop, we can't just let 'em get away! Moochie, run along.

Pop.

Moochie.

No soap. Hmm, I guess I'll have to give him the shock treatment.

Poor pop.

Uh, where's the gun?

In the hall closet. I got the key.

Well, here goes.

Pop? - Yes, wilby?

I've got something to tell you, but I'm afraid.

You never have to be afraid to talk to me, wilby.

Maybe sometimes I'm a little impatient with you,

but that's because you're my son.

I want you to be something special. Yes, sir?

So you just tell me what's troubling you.

I'm sure it can't be anything too serious;

but whatever it is, I promise you I'll understand.

Really, pop? You can bank on it, wilby.

Shake on it? - Certainly I'll shake on it, wilby.

No! - Oh, that did it.

Frieda! - Wilson?

Frieda! - Wilson, is that you?

What are we gonna do now?

We've gotta get help. - Look!

The police!

I'd like to report some spies, please.

All right, what's the name?

Moochie... Montgomery Daniels.

Daniels?

You any relation to that kid who tipped us off about that gangster last week?

Yes, sir. Wilby's my brother.

But he didn't know it was the new Dean at the divinity college.

Remember, Kelly? Last week, when I used to be a sergeant.

No kidding, officer.

We need help.

Who are you?

Uh, wilby Daniels.

Wilby Daniels.

I knew it. I knew it.

The first time that dog spoke to me, I said to my wife...

Easy now, hanson. It's all right.

It's probably some kid dressed up in a dog suit.

That's right, officer.

Sure, that's how he spied on the spies.

All right,

take off the dog suit.

Can't. I don't have anything on underneath.

You see, Kelly? He can't.

You ought to know that.

Now that's enough. Stop bothering officer hanson...

Before we take you down to the station.

Fine, let's go! Yeah, let's go.

Oh, no you don't.

- Not in this car. - But they're spies!

Now, I'm afraid they're gonna have to keep.

You see, there's a landing of invaders from Mars over by the stockyards,

and I'm afraid we're gonna have to get over there.

Gosh, wilby, 2:00.

We've gotta think of somethin'. - Yeah.

I got it!

Here you are, you miserable beast!

You can't take him! He's my broth...

Your what?

My, my pal.

This is the last time you'll ever get away.

I can promise you that! Come on, you devil.

Come along before I... Come on!

No. - Wilson. Wilson?

No, no. - Now, don't you dare move.

I'll get the spirits of ammonia. - No.

Pop, snap out of it! We've gotta get movin'!

No, moochie. Moochie, is it true about wilby?

Did I see and hear what I thought I saw?

You sure did! Wilby's a dog now.

No... my own boy, my own flesh and blood.

Somehow, someway I failed him as a father.

How did it happen? I'll tell ya later. Hurry!

Are we going somewhere?

Don't you understand? We gotta get help.

We gotta stop those spies. What spies?

Remember? I told you about 'em.

Spies! That's right, you did.

Don't you worry about a thing. I'm with you all the way.

We'll have to get some help! - Not that way, this way!

Wilson Daniels, you are not stepping a foot from this house.

Frieda, you stay outta this. This is a job that calls for cool heads!

Come on, moochie. Oh, here, this way.

Calm down, Mr. Daniels.

I just want to get this thing straight.

Oh.

Now, you say that this information came from your son.

Yes, my older son. He was there and he heard them talking.

- And they knew he was there? - I'm sure they knew he was there...

Doesn't that strike you as rather odd, Mr. Daniels,

that they'd speak of such confidential matters...

In front of your son? No, it's not odd at all.

They probably didn't pay any attention to him.

You see, my son happens to be a dog.

Your son is a dog?

Yes. Now don't get me wrong.

He's not a dog all the time, just part of the time.

Oh, I see.

Thank you for coming, Mr. Daniels.

We'll look into the matter. You don't believe me. Ow!

I'm sorry. I just don't happen to have my shoes on.

Don't you believe me? Of course.

Then aren't you going to do something about it now?

We must proceed with caution, Mr. Daniels.

Dr. andrassy is a well-respected man. - But you haven't got time for caution!

Don't you understand? This thing that they stole, whatever it is,

is being shipped out of the country tonight!

I don't suppose you have any idea precisely what this thing may be?

No, all I know is that it's something called section 32, or something like that.

Section 32? - That's right.

Are you sure? That's what the dog said. Well, my son.

Please sit down again, Mr. Daniels. I should think so.

All right.

Now, uh, you still insist...

A dog told you about this. - Yes.

Why don't you ask my younger son, moochie? He's the dog's brother.

Just now it's you I'm interested in, Mr. Daniels.

Me? You don't think I had anything to do with this?

Now, you listen to me. I came here in good faith.

I told you a simple, straightforward story.

And just because I happen to have a son who's a dog, you look at me as though...

You look at me as though I had wheels in my head or something.

Just you remember, I'm a government man myself.

We have the utmost respect for the members of...

The United States post office department.

I wonder if you'd mind repeating your story to one of my colleagues.

I'd be glad to.

All I ask is that you gentlemen keep an open mind... - no, no, no.

Not them, Mr. Daniels.

Would you step into the hall with these gentlemen, please? Well, yes.

Excuse me.

It's fantastic, but he knows about section 32. How could he?

That's what I've got to find out.

Meantime, check every man, every sketch,

every piece of equipment in that department.

That'll take time. Get moving.

All right, Mr. Daniels, this way, please.

I think you'll like Dr. Galvin. - Doctor?

Oh, uh, it's a kind of honorary title.

Well, now, just a minute, you...

I've just returned from the museum.

I have our plan worked out.

Come upstairs. I'll go over it with you.

Yes, sir.

Is my daughter at home? No, sir, not yet. She went shopping.

Good.

The girl must know absolutely nothing of what is happening here.

I understand, sir. - As it is,

with matters coming to a head, I don't quite know what to do about her.

It is unfortunate mademoiselle happens to be your daughter,

otherwise a solution would be quite obvious.

In any case, Stefano, the problem is mine.

I'll decide what to do when the time comes.

This is a sketch of the packing case containing the small fossils.

Understand me clearly. From here on, the slightest hitch will be disastrous.

- You can depend on me, doctor. - When thurm arrives...

With the components of section 32, take them to my office at the museum.

There you will find...

The packing case containing the etruscan fossils.

Suppose the authorities open the case?

They may, but I doubt if they will tamper very much...

With such a fragile and priceless collection...

Dispatched to such a distinguished man.

The packing case will be shipped on the midnight plane,

consigned ostensibly to the museum in Rome.

Anders himself will pick up the shipment? Silence!

You have instructions never to mention his name! What harm can it do?

Save for the dog downstairs, we are alone in the house.

Now, suppose we go over what you must do, point by point.

What are you doing here?

Here? O-oh, here.

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm glad you asked me.

I was wondering if you could give franceska a message for me.

There's going to be a barbecue at Dawson's grove next Saturday,

and I was thinking of...

I know what you heard, and I know how to make you forget!

No, not now. - What else can we do with him?

I said, not now!

Tie him up and lock him in the dressing room.

You've gained access to certain secret information.

Now, fearful of the consequences,

you transfer the burden of guilt to your second self,

a submerged second identity known only to you.

What sec... What second identity?

Now this is very important, Mr. Daniels.

Do you often visualize yourself as a dog? - What?

Now, let's be honest.

Do you often stand in front of your shaving mirror,

and instead of your own face...

You see a shiny, moist, black shoe-button nose,

a strong, intelligent head?

No!

Excuse me, sir, it's getting awfully late,

and mom will be worried about us.

I don't see any reason why you can't go. - Well, good.

I've had enough of this. No, I was referring to the boy.

I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to remain a while longer, Mr. Daniels.

Just a few more questions. Why don't you ask him a few questions?

He knows more about this thing than I do.

He'll tell you I'm telling the truth.

Perhaps we should question the boy.

There may be a heredity factor present between father and son.

Can it wait, sir? I ought to be going.

Yes, they say heredity sometimes plays a role in lycanthropy.

Who are you calling a liar?

Lycanthropy is the alleged practice of turning humans into witches and werewolves.

Don't be ridiculous! My son isn't any werewolf.

He's just a big, baggy, stupid-looking shaggy dog!

Pop, I'm worried about wilby. He may be in trouble.

What do you think I'm in?

Now just a few questions, my lad.

It won't do you any good, sir.

I don't know anything about all this. Moochie!

What did you say?

I said, I don't know anything and I'd like to go home, please.

Moochie!

Then you don't believe your brother is a dog?

Gosh, sir, would you?

Moochie!

And your father made up this entire story about the dog.

It was his idea. Pop's a great storyteller.

Kids come from all around just to hear him.

Moochie!

Sorry, pop. I had to do it.

Betts, I'm letting the boy go.

Please see that he gets home in a company car. Yes, sir.

All right, son.

Moochie.

You go back to my office, and Mr. betts will take care of you.

Go ahead.

Moochie.

May I, doctor? Oh, of course.

Now, Mr. Daniels, we've had our little joke about the dog.

Suppose we get down to cases.

I want to know just how, when and where...

You found out about section 32!

Did you get it? Yes, I have it.

Section 32, complete.

Good! - But we're in trouble.

Something's gone wrong at the plant. What do you mean?

An investigation. I had to answer a few ticklish questions.

You knew the right answers. Of course, but I didn't like the sound of them.

You know, I'm not even sure that I wasn't followed here.

We'll have to use the emergency plan.

The other is too risky now. What about the boat?

It's tied up at Walker's dock, ready to go. Very well.

Bring the sedan around. What about the boy?

We'll be out of the country before they find him.

I don't understand what could have gone wrong.

You're sure that...

Yes, what do you want?

I wanted to say I'm going out with buzz Miller. I'm sorry, franceska,

but I've been called away for a few days and I would like you to come with me.

Well, isn't this rather short notice?

Where are we going?

I've no time for questions. Please get ready!

Well, if you don't mind, I think I'd prefer to stay here.

You'll do as I say!

What is this?

Franceska, you're an intelligent girl.

I don't believe I have to make any needless threats.

Take her to her room.

See that she takes what she needs. Hurry!

Here you are, son. - Thank you very much, sir.

I don't want to attract attention.

Drive at a normal speed.

All right.

Wilby! Here, wilby!

Wilby!

Wilby. Here, wilby! Wilby!

Here, wilby!

Here, wilby! Here, wilby!

Wilby!

In here, moochie! In here!

In here, wilby! In here!

Wilby, what's goin' on?

Come on! They're gettin' away!

They're headin' for Walker's dock!

Hey, look out!

Someday I'm gonna murder that dog!

Hey, you mangy cur, come back with my car!

Wait, stop! Stop!

Officer! Officer! Officer, get him!

Get him! That shaggy dog just stole my car!

Shaggy dog.

It's no use, Kelly. I've just gotta face it.

I gotta face it. Follow that dog!

Hey, wait!

Wait for us!

Never mind, buzz, here comes my pop!

Pop, pop! Follow that police car!

Montgomery, don't you ever speak to me again!

You can't let 'em get away! You don't know what you're asking me to do.

Do you know what I've gone through for the last few hours? But, my car!

Look, please, I'm not a well man.

Chicken.

Patrol car 12, hanson. Code 22.

We are pursuing stolen car headed west on highway 16 at high rate of speed.

Request other police units be notified.

Patrol car 12. We are pursuing stolen car...

Traveling west on highway 16.

Description of suspect as follows:

Large, shaggy dog. Dirty white, brown patches.

Unknown.

Have him repeat that description.

Car 12, repeat description of suspect. Over.

Repeat, description of suspect as follows:

Large, shaggy dog.

Dirty white with brown patches.

Hanson, this is captain scanlon. What's the matter with you?

Patrol car 12, hanson.

We are pursuing stolen car.

Suspect identified as large, shaggy dog!

Out!

Hanson, answer me!

Answer me! Answ...

Hanson! Hanson! Do you hear me?

Report in here immediately. Hanson!

Patrol car 7, patrol car 7. Mercer, are you there?

Patrol car 7, Mercer. Over.

Mercer, there are two loonies by the name of hanson and Kelly...

Masquerading as police officers.

Now they're headed your way.

Pick 'em up and bring 'em in here immediately! Over.

Patrol car 7, Mercer. Message clear.

Acknowledge and out. Poor old hanson.

There he is!

Now get out of there!

No, you don't. There.

Right over here. Bend over that hood.

Hanson!

What are you...

Well, it's possible, isn't it?

- Look out! - Ouch! Ouch!

- He bit me! - I don't see anything.

No, Kelly! That's our car!

We're being followed. Open it up!

That wasn't hanson.

Patrol car 7, Mercer. Patrol car 7, Mercer.

Request additional instructions. Over.

You've got your instructions. Bring in hanson and Kelly!

Mobile unit assigned to officers hanson and Kelly...

Passed this point a moment ago.

Officers hanson and Kelly were not in it. Over.

Really? Well, may I ask who was in it?

A large, shaggy dog, sir.

Description as follows:

Dirty white, brown patches.

Was driving the mobile unit.

Would you have them send my car around, please?

That is, unless it's been stolen by a purple kangaroo...

Wearing a checkered vest! Yes, sir.

No! No! No!

No, no, no, you idiots!

No, no, no!

Well, well, if it isn't hot-rod hanson speeding.

And you, who used to be a sergeant.

All right, Mercer, very cute. Come on...

Sorry, we're to bring you in.

Ed, I can't go back without that dog.

Sorry, I got the word from scanlon, loud and clear.

Ed, please, for the love of a fellow officer.

We were rookies together. I married your sister, felice.

I loaned you my dress uniform for the shriners' convention.

Ed, don't these things mean anything to ya?

All right, I'll take a chance, hanson.

But you just better pray you know what you're doing.

Cast off, thurm!

Aaah!

Get down from there!

Chiffon, let go of me!

You devil, you! I'll fix you. Chiffon, look out!

Chiffon, look out! Stop it, you...

Chiffon, stop it!

Aaah!

Mercer, call the harbor police! Have 'em stop that boat!

Oh!

What's the matter, Mr. Daniels? - Go ahead.

I'm all right. I've just broken my foot.

Did they get away? Did they get away?

Where's wilby?

Apprehend 32-foot speed cruiser, headed towards keeley's point.

Over.

You all right? - Buzz.

There, there, now. Everything's under control.

But how in the world did you get here?

The last thing I remember, chiffon...

Don't you worry your pretty little head.

Old buzz got here just in the Nick of time.

But buzz... don't thank me. It was nothing.

Nothing at all.

Hey!

Franceska!

Hey, what's the big idea?

What's the matter with you? Let go of me!

What are you mad at me for? I didn't do anything.

Chiffon, let go, you silly moth-eaten mutt!

Ouch! Stop it! You cut it out!

That's the man, captain.

That's him! No, I'm innocent!

No, no! Look, I'm innocent!

I haven't done anything wrong.

I'll explain the whole thing to you again.

You see, my boy's a dog...

"Just got here in the Nick of time."

A great big hero, are ya?

Wilby! - Good old buzz, huh?

Right in the Nick of time, are you? The great big hero, eh?

Wilby, will you lay off?

I don't know what you're talkin' about. Wilby!

You don't know what I'm talking about? I bet you don't!

Chiffon! Oh, it was you.

You saved my life.

What a wonderful, beautiful dog.

Mon Beau chien. My hero.

Je t'aime de mon coeur.

Over here with that. Mr. Daniels, you're in the way.

Do you mind? No, not at all.

This stuff will clutter up the picture.

Would you mind holding these, please? Thank you very much.

Ed, get ready for a picture.

Now, Mr. Daniels, a picture for our Sunday follow-up story,

a human interest angle:

How your love for dogs made this whole thrilling thing possible. Oh, fine.

Now, Mr. Daniels, if you'll just sit on the arm of the chair.

Oh, right here? All right, boy, up in the chair.

Now just a minute!

I will not have that dog up on my good chair with his big, dusty feet!

Don't worry about it, honey. A dog can't hurt anything.

How about me with my arm around him, like this?

Fine, fine.

This all right?

That's fine, fine. Now, how about one with your son?

Oh. Well, why not?

Come here, son. Not you, the little fella.

Come on, wilby, let's take a walk.

You stay just like that. Good.

Mr. Daniels, you'll be looking at your son. All right.

Anyway,

it sure was nice of franceska to give us the dog.

That old house is sure gonna seem empty with her gone back to Paris.

Yeah, swell girl.

Oh well, I guess it's all for the best.

I was gettin' kind of tired of all that French lingo, anyway.

You wanna know somethin' else? I don't think we've been quite fair to Allison.

She's a swell girl too. Yeah, good sport, real good sport.

Anyone else might've gotten sore.

Hi, Allison!

You know them?

Oh, just a couple of neighborhood children.

Let's get the medal in this picture. Medal? What medal?

Valor award! - Mm-hmm.

Well!

No, Mr. Daniels, the medal is for the dog.

Oh.

There. - That's good.

Well, I finally got a dog!

What do you mean, you've got a dog?

We've got a dog!

Arf! Arf! Arf!

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