Original subtitles

[applause]

♪ Hmm hmm ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da dum ♪

♪ Da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da da dum ♪

♪ Teasing you ♪

♪ Leading you ♪

♪ Back through the years ♪

♪ But just when you reach out to touch ♪

♪ It all ♪

♪ Disappears ♪

♪ Da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da da dum ♪

♪ Da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da da dum ♪

♪ There are ways ♪

♪ Time can praise ♪

♪ Those other days ♪

♪ But just remember ♪

♪ To remember ♪

♪ What was ♪

♪ Is just ♪

♪ What was ♪♪

[knock on door]

[female #1] 'Mr. Wells?'

'Mr. Wells!'

[knocking]

Yes, Mrs. Schmidt?

[Mrs. Schmidt] 'You've got company, Mr. Wells.'

[gunfire on TV]

[Mr. Wells] 'That's some bender you've been on, pal.'

They're gonna have to put a night shift

on Jack Daniel's just to keep up with you.

Aah!

[screams]

Mrs. Schmidt, call the police.

Four-eight-five, two-five-eight-one.

Tell 'em to get an ambulance here fast.

Tell 'em we got a dying man.

[Mrs. Schmidt] 'Police emergency?'

'Can you send an ambulance?'

'We've got a man here. I-I think he's dying.'

'The-the address is 1405, Beechwood.'

It's not as bad as the time in San Diego.

Ira..

...I got a deal for us.

Harry, who did it?

It's a chance for us to make a lot of dough.

Harry, you're dyin'.

Now, tell me who did it?

How did it happen?

Don't worry, Ira.

I'm cutting you in.

Fair deal.

Just don't, uh

try to throw a scare into me.

It won't work.

I'll lay it all out for you.

Just..

...get me to a hospital.

[instrumental music]

Goddamn you, Harry!

Letting somebody walk up and drill you like that..

...point-blank.

Nobody can palm a .45.

'Jesus..'

'...Christ!'

'You never had the brains God gave a common dog!'

Sorry you're going off, pal.

You were real good company.

The best.

The very best.

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

[Charles] 'Margo, that's him.'

[Margo] 'Jeez, Charles, he doesn't look so hot to me.'

[Charles] 'Let me tell you, kiddo, Ira Wells'

'used to be one of the greats.'

Whatever it is, Charlie, the answer is no.

What do you mean, no? Did I say a word?

- Did I? - 'No.'

Oh, yeah.

Ira, Margo. Margo, Ira.

- Uh, Mr. Wells.. - Margo, here's a pal of mine.

Mr. Wells, how do you, uh, feel about cats?

- I beg your pardon? - Cats.

- How do you feel about 'em? - I'm not sure.

Well, what I mean is that somebody stole Winston.

- Somebody stole who? - Winston.

My cat Winston. Somebody stole him.

Here, I have a picture of him.

What the hell is she talking about?

See, Brian stole Winston.

And he said that he's gonna strangle him

if I, if I don't pay him the money.

You see, Margo owes this guy $500 for a long time.

Well, come on, Charles

six months is hardly a long time.

And he gets PO'd at her, and, uh...steals the cat

and threatens to kill it, if she doesn't give the dough.

- So pay him. - I can't pay him.

I don't have the money to pay him.

Oh, I see, you want me to find the-the guy

that stole your cat and bring it back, right?

- Thanks, pal. - He's easy to identify.

Look, look, girl, I can't help you out.

Try the fire department. I'm out of the business.

- His collar is-- - Come on, kid.

This is the kind of play you can handle easy.

Mr. Wells, if it's money, I mean if it is money

I-I had planned to offer you $25.

I have it right here.

Charlie, how long have I known you?

I don't know, 16-17 years.

In all that time, did you ever hear of Ira Wells

taking a two-bit job?

I heard what you said.

'This is not a two-bit job.'

I mean...if I offended you

I'm very sorry, and I apologize

because I didn't mean to offend the great Ira Wells.

Charlie, I want you to know

I appreciate you coming to Harry's funeral.

I enjoy talking to you.

Maybe I don't act like it, but I do.

There aren't many guys left from the old days.

I think you ought to teach your pal here

some respect for her elders.

Yeah, well, maybe you should learn a little respect

'for other little creatures that are walking on the Earth.'

[Charles] 'Where are you headed?'

I'm going to the track.

Hollywood Park.

This little kitty is just our little honey bun!

'Give this little cat a break!'

[instrumental music]

[man over radio] 'It's Bank Vault going away by a length-and-a-half.'

'Wild Chase is second by four lengths.'

'Easy Victor, on the inside, is third.'

'Kewpie Doll and Top Target are tied.'

'The rest of the field is well back.'

'Down the course Bank Vault pulls away.'

'Wild Chase is leading.'

'Easy Victor and Kewpie Doll'

'unable to close any ground.'

'Bank Vault is the winner by six lengths.'

'Wild Chase is second, four lengths.'

'Easy Victor is third, by three quarters of the length'

'and Kewpie Doll is the fourth horse.'

'Timing the race for six furlongs'

'covering three-quarters of a mile.'

'One minute, ten seconds flat.'

'In the winner's circle is Bank Vault'

'with Hollywood Park's leading apprentice Jockey.'

'Benny De Angelino, getting his fifth in the current leading.'

'And for those looking for a hot bet on Friday, the 13th'

'maybe this might have been the horse'

'they were looking for luck on the 13th..'

[Wells] 'Alright, Charlie, give out with it.'

[Charles] I thought you was going to the track.

How long has it been since I've seen you, Charlie?

Close to a year, isn't it?

Somebody puts the freeze on Harry Regan..

...next thing I know, you show up

at Harry's funeral with some "dolly"

and a song and dance about a stolen cat

and all that hot comedy.

What's it all got to do with Harry?

Harry was working for the dolly.

Are you telling me that Harry got himself killed

on account of some cat?

Listen.

I know Margo, maybe six or seven years.

Used to be a client of mine.

'One night, a couple of weeks ago'

'she comes into this bar, where I'm workin'...'

...just sort of temporary, you know.

The talent business is slow.

'Anyway, it turns out that she's mad as hell'

about this guy stealing her cat.

I'm listenin'..

...and all of a sudden I remember Harry Regan.

'And I think to myself'

"He's still in the business..

...but there ain't any business left for him to do."

He took the job.

So, he finds this guy that stole the cat

and starts to follow him?

Yeah.

'Who is this guy Harry was tailing?'

I wouldn't know him from a hole in my sock.

The dolly?

The dolly? What about her?

Where does she live, Charlie?

Oh. Some place called "La Paloma.."

Over on Franklin, near Vermont.

That's where you live, isn't it, Charlie?

Yeah.

[man over radio] 'As we begin to meditate..'

'take a deep breath.'

[Margo] 'Charlotte, listen to me.'

'You know, tonight is important.'

'I don't want you to get uptight about it.'

'Well, because this guy, he books'

'a lot of Holiday Inns all over the country.'

'And I think it's a good place to start.'

'I mean, it's a good place to work out a lot of problems.'

'You're gonna be absolutely terrific tonight.'

'Who's taking you?'

What's he gonna wear?

Uh..

Wait. No, I'll tell you what, I think

I think he should wait outside.

No, because that's very important, I mean.

I'm telling you, the entire picture

the entire impression, is important.

I...Charlotte, this is another

'self-destructive act, in my opinion.'

'You've got...if I'm gonna, listen'

'if I am gonna handle your career'

'and if I am going to be the..'

'Wait a second, Charlotte.'

'Charlotte, listen, I got to go.'

No. No. Somebody just walked in.

I'll see you at 10:30.

You're gonna be terrific.

Okay, think positive.

Okay, bye-bye.

'Well, why don't you just come in'

'and make yourself comfortable?'

[man over radio] '...descending..'

'...into the boundless'

'water..'

'...as it rises over..'

'...your tired'

'weary body.'

'You begin to relax.'

Harry Regan was a pal of mine close to 24 years.

Whoever it was that killed him is gonna be goddamn sorry.

Mr. Wells, I can understand you're feeling that way.

'I mean, as an actress, I understand it as a motivation.'

What about this guy who took your cat?

Brian Hemphill.

He's this guy, he's really sort of a tuna.

He just hangs around, you know.

And we used to have this thing going

kind of a...sexual interlude.

It never really came to anything.

Now, Brian and this friend of his, sometimes give me money

to schlep things up to this guy in Bakersfield.

Things? What things?

You know, things.

Material things.

I mean, worldly possessions.

'Washing machines, TV sets.'

'Clock radios. Things!'

These things you're telling me about

Did it ever cross your mind they might be hot?

Who's to know?

I mean, I'm not by nature a curious person.

- I'll bet. - 'I mean, go with the flow.'

Oh, that's what I always say.

Had this guy in Bakersfield, he paid you off in cash, right?

Yes.

'Then you'd bring the dough to this punk Brian'

'then you'd get your cut out of that, right?'

Yes.

Only on this last trip, you decided

you wanna keep the money yourself, right?

So, Brian gets mad, 'cause he wants his dough.

So, he steals your cat.

And that's when you go crying to Harry Regan.

Look, it was just a loan, I did not take the money

it was a loan, just till I get my dress business going.

[Wells] 'Your dress business?'

I design all the clothes I make.

- I thought you were an actress. - 'Are you kidding?'

'I did the whole star trip.'

I just never could learn how to push myself, you know.

I don't know, I don't like to go begging.

I don't want anybody to do me any favors.

I just never could learn how to play the Hollywood game.

'My shrink says that I'm a very conflicted personality.'

- Jesus Christ. - 'But my astrologist..'

What is that supposed to mean?

Back in the '40s, this town was crawling

with dollies like you, good-looking cokeheads

trying their damnedest to act tough as hell.

I got news for you, they did it better back then.

This town doesn't change.

They just push the names around.

Same dames..

'...screwing up their lives just the same way.'

Alright. What about this guy Brian?

Where can I find him?

Who's to know. He just hangs around.

- Where is around? - Around is around.

I mean, around is no particular place.

The only time I hear from him is when he calls me up

to torment me about my cat.

Well, the next time he calls you up

I want you to set up a meet.

Alright.

Mr. Wells, listen.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

'I mean, about me schlepping those things--'

Uh, doll, I'm not interested in your life story.

Just set up a meet with your friend Brian.

[doorbell rings]

Yes?

I'm coming.

Just a minute.

I'm coming.

Yes?

Hi, hi, I'm Margo Sterling.

We'd like to, uh, talk to your husband.

No, my husband passed on seven years ago.

What's going on in here?

We were playing canasta right there in the living room.

Kid, the "you-know-what" has hit the fan.

Oh, look, I wouldn't make a federal case

out of everything, Charlie.

[Wells] 'Mrs. Schmidt..'

would you leave us alone for a couple of minutes?

I have some personal business to talk over

with these...people.

Of course, Mr. Wells.

- It was very nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

Anytime, Mr. Wells.

Your friends are more than welcome.

Thank you.

[Margo] 'I like the, uh'

color of your sweater.

Oh, thank you.

[Margo] 'Very much.'

The man's a killer, you ding-a-ling!

- Don't call me a ding-a-ling! - Hold it!

This happens to be where I live, okay?

It may not look like a hell of a lot to you

but it suits me.

Now, Mrs. Schmidt, that's my landlady.

We get along just fine.

'At least, we did until a few days ago.'

Now, if you two clowns would just simmer down

tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it.

Okay, you wanted to take a meeting with Brian, right?

So he called me.

And I'm listening to him very carefully

because I've known him a long time.

And Brian's not very evolved.

In fact, he's rather de-evolved.

'And I was talking to him, and I'm very sensitive'

'to the vibrations that he gives out'

'because I know what kind of karma he has..'

What the hell is she talking about?

She said you was looking for this guy

because of what happened to Harry.

- That's right. - That's what I said.

She said if he didn't show up here

you was gonna come gunning for him.

[Margo] 'That's right.'

You mean, the punk that nailed Harry is coming here?

Wait a second. You are so paranoid.

You don't know for sure.

You don't know that that's true at all!

'Maybe Brian didn't even do it.'

I got a pretty good idea.

Charlie may be a chiseler and a crook..

...but he's the best information man in town.

Wait a second.

What is that for?

It's for if Charlie's right.

Please. Come on. No, don't do this.

'Do you know the people who play with guns'

'are generally impotent?'

'I mean, what's ever settled with a gun?'

Come on, hold on a second.

I mean, now, just a second.

How many people you're gonna shoot?

- Hold on a second. - 'I think it's him.'

It's him.

Mrs. Schmidt.

I'll be using the living room

for a few minutes, if you don't mind.

[Mrs. Schmidt] 'That's fine, Mr. Wells.'

- 'Just don't make a mess.' - Oh, come on.

Lighten up on this cops and robbers stuff.

I can handle this.

Oh, Christ!

Watch it!

[gunshots]

[dog barks]

[intense music]

[tyres screech]

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[dog barks]

Hurry, he's getting away. Don't let him get away!

- 'Take it easy.' - Go, get him.

Plug the bastard! Goddamn it!

Kill him! You could get him!

I could get a heart attack

that's what I could get..

'...running all that way.'

'How far do you think I'd get with this leg of mine?'

That's one.

Two..

'...whoever that guy is, he's no snob about'

'how he kills people.'

'It's a goddamn .45 he's using.'

There are a lot of ways to play any game.

I play mine on the house percentages.

[Mrs. Schmidt] '485-2581'

Mr. Wells, I remembered.

[Wells] 'Thank you very much, Mrs. Schmidt.'

- I'm sorry about all this. - 'It's no bother.'

Where's my cat, you creep?

Come on in, doll..

...before you catch a cold.

Alright, Charlie.

Hand it over.

Wha-what do you mean?

Whatever you took off the stiff.

Hand it over.

Jesus, kid.

I always said you were the best.

Didn't I tell you he was the best?

[Margo] 'What's that?'

'Stamps?'

- The Whiting job. - Who? Whiting?

About ten days ago, some place out in the Valley.

Whiting? Who's that?

That Whiting had a stamp collection

worth almost $50,000.

Who is that? Who's Whiting?

There's a murder one tied to it, right?

[Margo] 'Okay, don't tell me.'

'What do I care?'

Two guys broke into a house out in the Valley.

They tied up Whiting and his wife

and started to lift the stamps.

'Then something must have gone wrong'

'because they beat up Whiting, and killed his wife.'

Oh, how disgusting. I don't wanna hear any more.

That's what Harry was onto, right?

- How'd I know? He didn't say. - I don't wanna hear any more.

Harry knew about the stamps what's more he told you about.

That's why you knew what to look for on the punk.

Kid, I swear he didn't tell me anything.

Hear that? That's the cops.

They'll be here in a couple minutes.

Now, either you start to play it on the square with me

or I'll feed you to them.

'Which, considering your record.'

You wouldn't do that.

Okay, here's the house number.

Harry is tailing this guy, Brian..

...looking for Margo's cat.

When Brian and this pal of his

pull off the Whiting heist.

The next day, Harry comes to see me

and lays out the whole thing.

'Wants me to check out the reward angle.'

'I nose around.'

And sure enough, Continental Insurance

is offering $15,000 for the goddamn stamps.

You guys were gonna split it.

Just the kind of cheap grift Harry would go for.

[helicopter whirring]

[engine revving]

[Margo] 'Listen, Charlotte, um.'

I'm having a lot of trouble.

I-I-I had a lot of big trouble tonight..

[Charles] 'Hey, kid, you know who just kicked off?'

That dame.

'The one that almost nailed you back in '53.'

Jesus, what was her name? Uh..

...Madeline? No, uh..

- ...Marilyn Thornton. - 'That's her.'

I'm still carrying around some of that lead.

I'll talk to you later.

Oh..

...pit city.

I mean, pit city!

Not only did I still

not get my cat back, thanks to you.

Not only did I almost get

mowed down here tonight.

Not only did I sit here in the living room

with yellow socks, and perjure myself

'in front of, practically the entire'

'Los Angeles Police Department.'

Well, on top of that, I promised a singer

that I manage I would be there tonight

for a very important audition.

And of course, you can probably tell

I'm not there.

And on top of that, I got my period.

Listen, Doll.

Let's get something straight.

As long as we're gonna be working together..

...try to act like a lady, will you?

Who says we're working together?

Do you have any ideas about who might have wanted

to kill your little playmate outside?

No, I don't.

What about this guy, the one that helped

your boyfriend pull off the Whiting heist?

Ray Escobar.

Look, Mr. Wells, a truly evolved person

doesn't go around ratting on her friends

if you catch my drift.

This guy, Escobar, who is he?

[Margo] 'There is no point in this discussion, Mr. Wells.'

I mean, if you only knew how far behind

I've gotten in everything, just because of all this

ridiculous, and I don't even have my cat yet!

I don't wanna, I don't wanna even talk about it

because I'm finished, I-I mean, I am finished.

Finalissimo!

Kid.

Let me talk to Margo alone.

Oh, I don't wanna be talked to alone

or talked to in a crowd.

I don't wanna be talked to by you, Charles.

- Just hear me out, okay? - Oh, please!

- 'Now, look, sugar.' - I'm not listening.

'You're two payments behind on the car, right?'

'I know, because you already tried to hit me up for loan.'

'What do you think you owe the dentist for your caps?'

- 'Om.' - 'Okay.'

[Charles] 'Uh...what about that trip to Vegas?'

'How much do you think you're in hock for that?'

'Hey, and what about the Japanese lessons?'

'Well, let's see.'

Well, how much do you figure that's all totaled up to..

[coughing]

Well, now can you think about

$15,000 in reward money.

Strictly on the up and up, split two ways.

Well?

Boy, it's really lucky for you that

I just happen to be a self-destructive person.

Okay.

Start talkin'..

...from the top.

Well, okay, I mean as long as

we're gonna be working together.

Um!

See, Brian had this creepy friend, I mean.

Far be it for me to go around passing judgments on people

but Ray Escobar is truly Pittsville.

And they had some kind of arrangement, see

a deal going with this guy named Birdwell.

- 'Ronny Birdwell?' - Yeah.

He's a fence. New since your day.

He's got a setup over on Sunset place.

[Wells] 'Check around the street, Charlie.'

See what you can pick up on Escobar.

Can do.

That's it?

Charles! Charles, wait! Give me a lift out to the airport.

[Charles] 'Oh, Jesus, Margo! It's 2:00 in the morning!'

Okay, so I'll buy gas.

[Wells] 'One more thing, Doll.'

About my fee.

My fee.

I get $25 a day, plus expenses.

What's he talking about?

[Wells] 'Listen, sweetheart, you're talking to Ira Wells'

not some low-rent gumshoe.

I'm the best, and I get paid like the best.

Alright.

Okay.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[doorbell rings]

- Birdwell? - No.

I work for Mr. Birdwell. My name is Jeff Lamar.

- Won't you come in, Mr. Wells? - Thank you.

[grunts]

[panting]

- Are you alright? - Yeah.

No hard feelings, sir.

I know that.

Come on.

This is Mr. Wells.

You said on the phone you had something

I might be interested in.

[Wells] 'Before we do any talking'

better warn this cheese head.

Next time he tries anything with me

I'll kill him.

I won't give him a chance.

- I'll kill him. - Okay, pop.

Now, that you've got that off your chest

what's your business?

The Whiting job.

- 'Postage stamps, right?' - That's right.

What's that got to do with me?

Well, the word is, it could be tied in to you.

[Birdwell] 'Now, look, I'm gonna tell you I don't know'

dick about the Whiting job, right?

And you're gonna tell me that you're gonna take this hotshit

bit of information of yours to somebody else.

Then I'm gonna tell you I'd be interested

if the price is right, huh?

Then you and I gonna dance around for a couple of hours.

So let's just cut to the chase, eh pop?

You like music?

I got a Panasonic hi-fi over there

that is a sensation to the ears.

Automatic record changer, air suspension

plus an eight-track tape.

Last week a pal of mine was tailing one of the guys

that pulled the Whiting job.

He turned up dead.

Tell you what I'll do, I'll throw in a couple of suits.

Manufacturers' name brands.

Hart Shafner and Marx, Botany 500, Petrocelli.

- What do you say? - 'Oh, bullshit!'

His name was Harry Regan.

I mean to have the louse that nailed him.

[Birdwell] 'I never heard of any guy named Regan.'

I'll tell you, pop, I'm in a kind of line of work

that you pick up things, you know?

- I can see that. - 'It could be I could..'

'...have some information about your buddy.'

Come on, Ronny.

How do you know he really has anything?

How do you know he's not just jerking you around?

You know something, punk?

If he was to finger you

I'd give him a Petrocelli suit.

'Now, stamps are a specialty item.'

Not just anybody can move them.

So you see, when a guy pulls a heist like that

he's got the fence lined up in front.

[Birdwell] 'So far, I couldn't give less of a shit.'

Maybe.

But one of the punks that pulled the Whiting job, works for you.

Brian Hemphill.

You are peddling Brian Hemphill.

[chuckles]

I know the son of a bitch pulled the Whiting robbery.

'You know who told me?'

'The cops.'

'Yeah.'

'I was down at the station house already.'

Two hours, they kept me there.

They ran my ass ragged.

And I told them the same thing I'm gonna tell you.

I fired Hemphill two months ago.

Not only he was a thief, he was robbing me blind.

I haven't seen the little turd since.

'I'll tell you something else, they know Hemphill'

'was shot last night, they're looking for a pal of his.'

You're a little late, pop.

About 40 years.

[laughs]

Come here.

I like you.

You know, I admire a guy your age

that's got the balls to try a hustle like that.

Right, Lamar?

What's your size?

- What? - In the collar and sleeve?

I got a shipment of Van Heusen shirts in here yesterday

that will knock your eyes out.

You know, on account of what Lamar did to you.

You're a 17-34.

Something else.

The police know that Brian Hemphill is an alias.

His real name...is Earl Hampton.

He did time in Illinois for robbing a jewelry store.

This is you.

It's perfect.

You wear that, you'll drive the girls crazy.

Okay, pop?

No hard feelings.

[Charles] 'Must be around here somewhere.'

'Ah! There he is. Ira.'

'Where are you headed?'

I'm on my way to the Brown Derby.

To meet Louis B. Mayer, where does it look like I'm headed?

[Margo] Where were you all morning? I must have called you

15-20 times.

[Ira] 'I went to see Birdwell.'

[Margo] What did you wanna do that for?

Trying to figure out why two guys who heist

$50,000 in stamps, are still hanging around town

waiting for the cops to wise up and grab them on murder rap.

Well, I could have told you that. Because they are dumb.

They're D-U-M-B.

[Ira] 'I'll remember you said that.'

How'd it go?

With Birdwell? Piece of cake.

[Charles] Didn't I say he was the greatest?

I mean, didn't I say that before?

Damn. Hey, wait a minute!

[Charles] Wait a minute.

[Margo] Come on, start this thing.

Mr. Wells!

[tyres screech]

Wait a second! Wait a second!

[Charles] Stop crying out loud.

Don't tell me how to drive, when I'm driving!

[Margo] This car is not only a toilet

but you are the attendant.

There he is.

Did you dig up anything on this guy Escobar?

Uh-huh.

- But it's gonna cost. - Uh-oh.

[Wells] 'Yeah?'

I found a guy who knows another guy

that saw Escobar holed up someplace over in Santa Monica.

That's the part that costs.

He wants a C-note for the address.

- You got that kind of dough? - Hah!

- What about you? - Forty-six bucks.

That's all I've got.

It might interest you to know, that I dug up a few items

about your pal Brian today.

Such as, his real name is Earl Hampton.

Did a stretch in the pen a couple of years back

for armed robbery.

His name was Earl Hampton.

Sixty-eight bucks, but that's every penny.

I'm not kidding. I mean, every penny.

Listen, sweets, this guy, Birdwell tried to put

some muscle on me today, and I had to get tough with him.

He's starting to crack

but it's not Christmas yet, understand?

You shouldn't put that in first.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

If you still wanna cash in on the reward money

I got to move, I got to move fast.

How come I'm the one that has to raise the money?

How come nobody else here in this group has any cash?

'I mean, what's wrong with you, Charles?'

'Why don't you try to come up with a little'

'scratch once in a while?'

You two have a real class act.

Alright, Charlie.

Take a couple of hours and dig up

anything you can on this guy Birdwell.

There's something screwy going on there.

- Got you. - 'I'll tell you what you do.'

Call up Tom Wyman.

He works out of the Bureau of Detectives, downtown.

Tell him I told you to call. He owes me a favor anyway.

[Charles] 'Hey, kid..'

...Tom's dead.

'He's been dead almost six months.'

Then find somebody else.

Jesus Christ, Charlie, use your brains!

Alright.

I'll try to raise $100.

[instrumental music]

Birdwell showed up out here about six years ago.

Went to work for a guy who had a sweet little

fence operation out in the Valley.

A couple of years ago, the guy retires.

Buys himself a condominium in Florida.

Birdwell buys him out.

That's it?

What did you expect, "Gone with the Wind?"

Charlie, if three people get killed

I expect more than a condominium in Florida.

Nothing's ever good enough for you.

That's three.

Well, the word is he's got dolly trouble.

[Wells] 'Any dolly in particular?'

His wife.

'She was chippying around on him.'

With?

Jesus, kid. All I had was a couple of hours.

Hmm.

Want one?

Are you kidding?

You know what one of those would do to my gut?

'Must be tough.'

Does Birdwell know his wife was cheating on him?

If he does, he's playing it close to the vest.

I gotta have a Coke.

Did you bring the dough?

And please use the scoop.

'Yes, I brought the dough.'

and I want it all back, you guys.

I mean it. From the top.

I'm keeping track, too.

'Cause there's been $50 for Mr. Wells'

'$20 for expenses, plus'

75, 85

95, 100..

...10, 25. You count it.

And I want a receipt, too.

[Charles] 'Come on, hurry up, hurry up, I've got this guy'

'waiting outside.'

[gasps]

- This is Pepsi. - 'Oh, hurry up. Hurry up.'

Come on.

You know what I had to go through to hassle up this dough?

I laid off four ounces

of pure red Columbian

for $15 an ounce.

I mean, it's disgusting.

Some...freak over on Pico

thinks I'm Santa Claus, I swear to God.

Fifteen dollars an ounce.

You have a lot of faith in me, don't you?

Oh, come on. This is just business.

Fifteen dollars an ounce, this grass was so great

I can't tell you, there was so much resins in it

it made your lips stick together.

How long have you been pushing?

Who says I'm pushing?

You've got a lot of nerve.

I'm not pushing.

You think if I was a pusher, I'd have a little

empty purse like this?

Gee, you make it sound like I hang around schoolyards

trying to prey on 12-year-old kids.

Anyways, I'm only doing it till I get my shrink paid.

Well, that makes sense.

I...I had a session with her today.

And I told her all about you.

Don't you wanna know what I told her?

Not particularly.

I told her that you were cute.

You told her I was cute?

Got it.

Okay, that's all for me, right?

Everything's cool?

'Cause I am out of here.

Wait a minute. Just stay put.

- Stay put? Why? - Stay put.

I've got a job for you.

Look, I don't wanna go in there.

Let me just sit in the van here. I can keep watch.

[Wells] According to Charlie, this is where Escobar

is supposed to be hiding out, right?

- Yeah. - You know him, right?

- 'I know him.' - He's gonna be nervous.

- He'll have a gun. - He'll have a what?

[Wells] 'He'll have a gun.'

You can look at me and say, "He'll have a gun"?

You bought into this, toots.

- Look, just back off. I mean-- - Come on.

I mean, let me explain something to you.

I...I...um.

I'm not good...I'm not, I'm not good at this stuff.

Maybe I could just..

- Okay. Okay. Okay. - Get the key.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[intense music]

[music continues]

[Margo] Ira?

'Okay, you've seen enough.'

Let's get out of here.

'Ira, don't make any noise.'

[cat meows]

Winston. Ira, it's Winston.

Winstie. Winstie.

Winstie, is that you? Ira, it's Winston.

It's Winston, my cat. Look, he's okay.

Hello, Winstie.

'Ira, come on, let's get out of here.'

'I got my cat back.'

'I take back everything I ever thought about you, Ira.'

'I swear to God. Thank you.'

'Let's get out of here. Everything's copasetic.'

Ira, I am not gonna tell you again. I swear to God.

If we don't get out of here, I'm gonna start to panic.

- You're an actress, aren't you? - 'I'm begging you.'

Act calm.

[Margo] 'Act...Ira, don't go in there.'

- 'Ira?' - Stay put.

Ira, wait a second.

Shh, it's alright. Ira?

Ira. Wait a sec..

Ira. Shh, it's alright.

'Ira, don't leave me out here.'

'Come on.'

'Ira, please, shh, let me in.'

'Ira...'

[intense music]

[music continues]

Ira? Ira, come on.

It's not me, it's Winston.

He needs to stretch his little legs.

I think he's been brainwashed.

Holy moly, where did she come from?

- I found her in the bathtub. - Just exactly where--

Aren't you gonna do something?

You got any ideas?

Yeah, listen, both of you.

[Margo] 'I'm the one who hired you.'

I'm warning you.

Lady, do me a favor. Put that thing down.

- Margo here is not too stable. - Yeah.

'She's liable to try something dumb.'

- Just a minute. - 'Now, just hold your water.'

Maybe, I'm wrong

but you don't look to me like you've had a hell

lot of experience handling a .357 magnum.

'Even so, at this close distance'

'you couldn't miss.'

'Now, if something were to happen it wouldn't be'

'a great loss to the world.'

[laughs]

But you'd go over on a manslaughter.

That's minimum eight to twelve.

That's right.

[meows]

That's better.

Mister..

Wells. Ira wells.

I'm a detective.

'Private detective.'

I'm sorry about before

about the part with the gun

but I was so afraid.

Mr. Wells..

...I'm going to be totally open

and honest with you.

I'm going to lay myself naked before you.

'I hope you can appreciate that.'

He'll try.

Get me a glass of water, will you, doll?

'Why don't you ask her what she's doing here?'

'I mean in the first place.'

What did I ever do without you?

Very little, I'm sure.

Now, then, missus..

Birdwell. Laura Birdwell.

Mr. Wells, you seem like a very intelligent man.

[Wells] 'I've had my moments.'

I really cannot relate on this level.

'I'm in a great deal of trouble.'

Oh, I, uh, I don't know I..

I don't know how much I can open up to you.

Oh, why don't you just tell it to me

in your own way, Mrs. Birdwell.

'Laura.'

Laura.

I got a call this afternoon from a man

who said his name was Escobar.

He said he had certain items--

Here you go, Ace.

You know, you drink too much of that

you gonna start seeing red rats.

Oh, can I please have a glass of water or coke or something?

Oh, sure. Any friend of the hunk's is a friend of mine.

I'm very nervous. You can understand that, can't you?

I can understand that, Laura.

[Margo singing]

[Laura] 'What can I do?'

'I tried to reason with him'

'but, uh, he sounded like'

a truly desperate character.

'I had no choice.'

[sobbing] 'And then when I got here'

the door was open.

I was about to leave

and I heard you coming

and I thought, well..

Well, you can imagine what I thought.

Thank you.

'You're welcome.'

[sobs]

Why was, uh, this Escobar blackmailing you?

Well, I was seeing this man.

We were having an affair.

Your husband didn't know anything about it?

Oh! Does the pope shit in the woods?

Just fix the goddamn coke, will ya?

'Mr. Wells..'

[Margo gasps]

Ira.

Ira.

[dramatic music]

I'm sorry, doll, what I never told you is

this is the hardest goddamn way in the world

to make a buck.

'Ira, look.'

Damn.

Be careful.

Come on.

[music continues]

[car engine starts]

[music continues]

Watch it.

Okay. Start the motor.

[music continues]

Alright. Now you can turn on your lights.

[dramatic music]

Don't miss the light, don't miss the light.

I'm not gonna miss the light..

'Just watch what you're doing, that's all.'

Let's go to the cops, I mean

we really should just go to the cops.

Let's do it, please.

Not till I find the guy that nailed Harry Regan.

That is such bullshit!

I mean, that is such total bullshit!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure thing, doll.

'Speed up, he's getting a little too far ahead.'

[Margo] 'I mean, it's disgusting'

'you don't care about Harry Regan.'

I'll tell you what this is, this is

one last chance for you

to go around shooting off guns at people

playing cops and robbers, I mean you're getting

'off behind all this blood and guts. It's true.'

'I mean, it's very immature. You need help.'

[Wells] 'Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.'

- 'Watch it.' - I can see. I'm watching.

'Tail him.'

[music continues]

Slow down.

Where the hell did he go?

[music continues]

[gunshots]

[music continues]

Hold on!

[tires screeching]

Holy moly. Wait a second.

Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!

[dramatic music]

[gunshots]

[music continues]

[Wells] 'Gotta get rid of that one!'

[music continues]

- 'Aah!' - 'Jesus Christ!'

[meows]

Hush, baby. It's okay, it's okay.

[music continues]

[laughing]

♪ Guess who I saw today my dear ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ I saw you ♪

♪ Ooh hoo ♪♪

[laughing]

'Ira, I feel so high.'

Just so incredibly high, I can't even tell you.

I mean, I feel like I've dropped acid.

I mean, have you ever dropped acid?

'Oh, not in the last ten minutes.'

Do you get this feel, do you notice anything

I mean can you see anything about me that's different

like my expression do I have a different

'kind of expression?'

You look higher.

- I look high, do I right now? - 'Yeah.'

I am high, I'm telling you, I'm high.

Did I give you sugar?

- I haven't had tea yet. - Oh, I know, I'm sorry.

I don't know what I'm thinking.

'Listen, look at these little things in here'

don't worry about them 'cause they just

'float around like that they are little herbs'

and stuff and they won't hurt you.

And everything's okay, everything's incredibly okay

because I feel so high, I'm not kidding

I feel wonderfully high.

You know what, I'll tell you, I saw that space

I had some possibilities I considered them

and I made a few choices, that's all

I went right through it, didn't I?

I went right through that space, it was incredible.

I had my hands on the wheel, didn't I take care of business?

- 'I mean, I did it.' - You did it.

I went right thought I couldn't believe

but I thought I did a great job, I don't know

I, uh, I know you think I'm talking I..

If I rethink, I'm like I'm talking like I'm a crazy person

but I swear to God, I feel just like Nick and Nora.

- Who? - You know, the thin man.

Phyllis Kirk and Peter Lawford.

Aah! Ira, wait a second.

I just got a flash, this is incredible.

Escobar and Brian robbed this man Whiting, right?

'Yeah, they killed his wife, while they were at it'

Right. How come they didn't take it on the lam?

I mean, how come these two guys

stuck around town, ask yourself why.

I have asked myself.

'Ask yourself again'

'because I gonna tell you the answer.'

Because, they found something

besides the stamps at Whiting's.

They found something that they could blackmail

Laura Birdwell with.

- Are you following me? - I'm following you.

Alright, now she said she was having

a sexual relationship with another man.

I mean, other than her husband.

What if the guy she's making it with

turned out to be

Whiting?

You didn't think of that one, did you?

What about it?

- That's pretty good. - 'Pretty good?'

That is fabulous!

I mean, if I do say so myself.

I'm gonna go down to the police station

Ira, I'm gonna go down to the police station

and I'm gonna get a private detective's license.

I mean, if we teamed up, we'd be great together.

That's just what this town has been waiting for.

A broken-down old private eye

with a bum leg and a hearing aid

'and a fruitcake like you.'

I don't know, you're not so old.

I mean, if you lost a few pounds

and...stopped wearing those baggy suits

you'd look ten years younger.

Anyway, we'd be a team. We'd be working together.

'Don't you get it?'

You've got all this experience

and I'm this very on-top-of-it person.

And this could be big bucks for us.

In fact, the more I think about this

the better an idea I think it is.

'Aah! Ira, oh, this is the most fantastic thing.'

The apartment next door is vacant.

I just remember, you could move right in there.

'This could be perfect.'

We could, uh..

It would be like, uh, really a, a duplex

a kind of suite of offices.

I think that'll be perfect we could have cards printed up.

I just feel it, you know

I just have that intuitive kind of thing.

I won't mind having you next door here

- I mean, it'll be okay. - Listen, uh--

I mean, I could stand the company.

- I mean, I wouldn't-- - Margo.

Look, I know what you're gonna say, don't start

because you're gonna say there's gonna be a lot of problems

of course there's gonna be problems

because that's what life is.

If I were really truthful with you

and I'm gonna be truthful

uh, you're pretty, in my mind

you're a pretty old-school kinda person

'you know, kind of old-fashioned and everything'

'and I don't have to tell you that I'm kinda weird'

around the edges.

I mean, you're, you're a slob too

I mean, to be truthful and..

...and I'm a Virgo, and that

kinda makes me a little crazy.

'But, don't you see the combination, it..'

'It's what makes something interesting because--'

Listen, doll, let's get one thing straight.

I'm a loner.

I always have been a loner.

I was a loner when I was a kid.

I was a loner when I was married.

'Probably why we broke up.'

I'm by myself now because I like it that way.

Nothing personal, but I don't

I don't like to talk a lot, there's..

...too much damn talk in the world as it is.

Ira, listen, I know what you're saying

because, uh, I mean I know what you mean about being alone.

We're not very different in that department.

I mean, I'm a loner too.

'I prefer to be alone.'

'I mean, I am alone most of the time--'

Thanks a lot, but I don't think it'd work out.

'Look, Ira, I don't want you to over interpret'

what I'm saying, it was just, uh..

It was, uh, something to do, you know

it was, it was an exciting kind of thing tonight

you know, and I got kinda carried away with it.

And don't worry about me because everything's okay.

I mean, I'm, I'm not really upset

and I don't know why, why I'm doing this.

It's just, uh, because I was excited tonight

and it seemed like a good idea and I thought

of making these little cards and--

Doll, I'll call you tomorrow.

[doorbell ringing]

You looking for Mr. Whiting?

- Yeah. - He's not here.

Do you have any idea when he'll be back?

'Uh-uh. He hasn't been home for a couple of days now.'

'If he doesn't get back by Friday'

his azaleas will look like shit.

Oh, really? That's tough.

- You with the police? - That's right.

You look kinda old to be a cop.

Oh, don't worry, this is just a disguise.

Listen, when you see Mr. Whiting

tell him to call me at this number.

What do I look like, some kind of social secretary?

No, you certainly do not.

Hi, pop.

[grunts]

Think fast, kid.

[grunting]

Where's the rest of your iron?

Where's the rest of your iron?

Knife. Front pocket.

No hard feelings, pal.

[gasps]

[grunting]

I'm not as young as I used to be.

Okay, pal.

[panting]

Let's go see what we can find.

Oh!

- Jump in. - What?

This nose-picker here is just crazy enough

to try some kind of a dumb play and get himself drilled.

'Stay in the middle keep treading water.'

'I wanna see your hands at all times.'

Screw you, this is a cashmere jacket.

I said, jump in!

This old fart's crazy, you know that.

Jump!

Oh!

Oh, shit!

Okay, swinger, you got something to say

say it and get the hell out of here.

Ever hear of a man named Escobar?

'Could be.'

He's dead.

'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.'

I'm always sorry to hear any of God's creatures stepping off.

You got any idea who did it?

Well, if I was the cops, I'd come looking for your wife.

Laura? You're crazy!

Maybe..

...but she was at Escobar's place last night.

- How do you know? - I was there.

Had a nice talk with her.

Well, if you were there you could have killed him.

Uh, I wasn't the one Escobar was blackmailing.

I've got a Vitamaster portable steam bath inside

plugs into any 110-volt outlet.

It's got a pilot light, automatic timer

it's an easy effective fun way to relax.

Where's your wife?

I'd like to talk with her.

She went out about an hour and half ago.

Never saw a woman yet who could stand the sight

of something like this.

'Must be at least a couple of days old.'

Jesus Christ, Ronny! Tell him, will ya?

I don't know where Laura is.

She disappeared a couple days ago.

Did you know your wife was chippying around

with Walter Whiting?

Laura and I have been married three almost four years.

- She's not a happy woman. - 'Ronny!'

The reason I know she's not happy is because

she's always going around shootin' her mouth off about it.

'I say screw her. What does she know?'

You know, couple of months ago, I get this phone call

from this lady Mrs. Whiting.

She's a real fruitcake, you know what I mean?

Starts screaming at me on the phone about her putz husband

fooling around with Laura

and if I don't stop it, she will.

'Come on, Ronny, I'm sick.'

So I have this encounter with Laura.

Confrontation you know, what I mean?

Following ya.

Laura says she's not only buffing this guy Whiting

but she can't stand beside of me and wants a divorce.

I realize I'm at the moment critique in my marriage.

Immediately, I get very, very calm.

'Ronny, please.'

I figure this direct confrontation shit

is getting me nowhere.

Except maybe six more months of unhappy crap.

Plus, the fact, if in a fit of rage

I should happen to lay one finger upon her

I'll pay for it the rest of my life.

I mean, that's the kind of woman my wife is.

I figure there's got to be an easier way to deal with it.

Well, that's when you decided to have Whiting hit.

Nudged, not hit.

Just nudged a little.

Listen, Wells, you find Laura

you bring her back here

and I promise to deliver you

a brand-new Coupe Deville, your choice of color.

I told you before I'm looking for the louse

that nailed Harry Regan.

All new tires.

Radials.

Leather seats, headrest

stereo radio, plus a tape deck.

When you wanna talk business, Birdwell, give me a call.

'I'll throw in 27 tapes! All guaranteed hits!'

Popular stars of today, yesterday..

[women moaning]

Charles Hatter, my name is Ronald Birdwell.

I'm afraid, you got the wrong guy.

[grunts]

You work with a man named Ira Wells.

Right?

I believe this putzola Wells

is behaving in a cheap, immoral fashion.

That's why I've come to ask you for help.

'If you choose to take my position'

we're talking about a financial package

in a five figures department.

If you don't..

...it's toilet time.

[moaning continues]

[grunts]

[moaning continues]

What I'm looking for is a handgun

automatic Colt, .32 caliber, nickel-plated

serial number 473320.

That's simple, isn't it?

A gumball named Ray Escobar used to have it.

He's dead. The gun's disappeared.

I'm depending on you to find it for me.

Comprendo?

Here's my card.

Not to worry, pal.

I have confidence in you.

'Lamar!'

[moaning continues]

[Wells] 'Then I started choking him with his necklace he had it on.'

I said, let's go see your boss, so..

'This guy is like his bodyguard or somethin'..'

Oh, yeah, well he's, he's a flunky.

- Check. - Uh, yeah, thanks.

So, he's walking ahead of me.

Birdwell's at one end of the pool

just coming out of the pool, looked like a pregnant porpoise.

So I got this joker at this end of the pool

and I said, sticking my rod right into his rib

I said, jump in.

He says to his boss, "This old guy's crazy."

I said, "I'm not crazy, I'm just deaf, that's all."

- Jump in. - 'Wait a minute.'

He said that you were crazy to you?

- 'For sure.' - That makes me mad.

You know, what he said to me, he said

"I've got a 100 percent cashmere jacket on.

and I'm not gonna jump in, in that pool."

Well, I said, "You're going to jump in."

Get a load of this, how he jumps into the pool.

Just like this.

- How could you? - He has his shoes on?

Aw!

- 'Ira, what is it?' - I don't know.

I don't feel so good.

My gut.

Maybe I better sit down.

- Oh! - Aah! Oh!

- What is it? - Jesus! God help me!

What is it, Ira?

Somebody call a doctor! Just get a doctor.

[dramatic music]

[Margo] 'Ira, are you alright?'

I'm fine.

I feel fine.

Everything's gonna be alright.

I mean, don't worry, I called an ambulance.

They'll be here any minute.

Help me up, will you, doll?

No, take it easy, okay.

Ira, wait a second. We'll get you to the hospital.

I'm not going to any goddamn hospital.

You gotta go to the hospital so

they can find out what's wrong with you.

I know what's wrong with me.

I got a perforated ulcer.

It's starting to bleed again.

You get me in the hospital, they'll want to operate.

So let 'em. That's better than walking around like this.

I will not go through another goddamn operation.

Lay back down. There's nothing to be afraid of.

It's my gut. It's my life.

I won't let anybody call me a goddamn coward.

I went through two operations last year on my gut.

Two operations.

Do you realize what it's like in a veterans hospital

lying on your back for six months

with tubes and shit going every which way.

'Maybe I don't have much of a life right now'

'but it's better that that'

I'll be goddamned if I let those butchers

open me up again. Never!

- I'll blow my brains-- - Stop it. Just stop it.

Okay, okay.

Let's get out of here.

[instrumental music]

[Margo] 'Well, here we are.'

Thanks for the lift, doll.

You want me to go in the house with you?

No, no, no, no.

Are you gonna be alright?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Mr. Wells. Mr. Wells.

'Yes, Mrs. Schmidt?'

May I speak to you for a minute?

Sure.

I don't know how to say this, Mr. Wells.

You've always been such a good tenant.

Paid your rent on time, you were quiet

until these past few days.

But if you're going to keep young women

'in your room at night'

'I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.'

[door opens]

Forty two fifty a month, and it's all yours.

Mr. Wells, I'm really terribly sorry

about what happened last night

'about running away like I did.'

Had a nice talk with your husband today.

'You talked with Ronny?'

Yeah.

He told me if I found you

and brought you back to him

it would be worth a brand-new Cadillac.

You wouldn't do that, would you?

Don't be too sure.

I could use a car.

Mr. Wells.

Ira.

'Last night, I felt a very deep compassion'

coming from you.

I felt a really deep sense of..

Mr. Wells, if you won't help me

there's no one else I can turn to.

I'd offer you a drink, but I really don't think

there's gonna be enough to go around.

Right now I think I need it more than you do.

Did you kill Whiting's wife?

No.

Ronny, my husband, is a very violent human being.

When he found out about Walter Whiting and myself

I was terrified of what he might do.

And I had this gun

and I gave it to Walter for protection.

That's what Escobar was using to blackmail you with.

He said it was my gun that killed Mrs. Whiting

and he said if...he said, if I didn't pay him

that he would hand it over to the police.

Alright.

Let's go see Whiting.

'I don't know where he is. I swear, I don't know.'

Listen, lady, any day now

'some hotshot detective at homicide'

'is gonna tumble into the fact that this is more than'

'just a simple robbery.'

And when they do, they're gonna come looking for Whiting.

And if they can't tag him for killing his wife

'they'll nail you as an accessory'

'just as sure as I'm sitting here.'

There's this place over at fountain and La Cienega

where we used to meet.

Alright.

Let's go.

Things haven't really been going so greatly.

I mean, not as well as they might have gone

but I don't think that's reason enough

for you to like, give up everything.

'Charlotte, there's one thing I wanna say.'

'I mean, you know this town doesn't change.'

'They just push the names around.'

'If you wanna change managers'

'far be it for me to stand in your way, Charles.'

'I'm just not that type, so go ahead.'

[Laura] 'I'm telling you, Mr. Wells'

Walter wouldn't be here without me.

We'll see.

Oh, no.

Walter!

Walter?

[dramatic music]

[gasps]

[Laura] 'God. Oh, my God.'

'Ronny did this.'

'Ronny killed him.'

Hi, this is Margo Sperling.

Is Ira Wells in?

Oh, God. Uh, no, no. Uh, well then..

Listen, if he calls, would you tell him please

to call me, it's very important.

Margo. Okay, thanks.

No, thanks a lot.

[telephone ringing]

C.S. Hatter Productions.

- 'Charles, it's Margo.' - Margo.

'Listen, do you know where Ira is?'

'I've gotta talk to her.'

Margo, how the hell would I know where he is?

Now, what's the matter?

'Well, Charles, you know something funny has happened.'

'I was gonna go feed Winston tonight.'

'I've had a lot of trouble, you know'

'getting him back on schedule since the kidnapping.'

'And I looked down and I found this gun'

'laying on the floor.'

No, shit.

'I'm pretty sure it's real, Charles'

'and I wanna find Ira.'

Margo, don't worry.

I'll handle it.

[intense music]

[Laura] 'I was here this afternoon.'

'My husband must have followed me.'

'Mr. Wells, I'm scared.'

'If my husband can do something like this'

'to poor Walter, he'll do the same thing to me.'

'He'll kill me.'

'You've got to help me.'

[clicks]

It's raining everywhere these days, lady.

That gun of yours, the one you gave Whiting..

'...it was a .32, right?'

I think we should call the police.

Why don't you do that?

I'd like to be around when you try and explain

to the cops that Whiting's wife was murdered in this dump.

'Mrs. Whiting caught you and her husband here one night.'

'There was a fight, and when it was all over'

'she ends up dead.'

Mr. Wells, some of the things I told you before

were untruths.

Still not there, huh, well..

[knocking on door] ...tell him that I called again..

Wait a second, I think this is him.

Okay, thanks a lot. Thanks.

[sighs]

- Ira.. - 'Hiya, doll.'

[Charles] 'Margo Sperling. Ron Birdwell, Jeff Lamar.'

Oh, Charles, I'm real tied up, right now.

- I'm working on something. - Alright, alright.

Gentlemen, would you mind waiting in..

Don't you push me, Charles.

Okay. Okay.

I'd like to invite you in, but I've got a lot of work

that I have to finish up, so please don't sit down.

'What do they think they're doing?'

Listen, you remember that gun

that we were talking about?

Well, this guy Birdwell, he's willing to buy it.

What about Ira?

Let me tell you something.

Ira Wells was a broken-down old bum

who was never any good to start with.

Well, that schmuck blew every chance he ever had.

And he'll blow this one, too, if I let him.

Look, we'll give him a couple of thou

let him go to the track

and act like a big shot.

You know.

Get 'em out of here.

How the hell long are you gonna stay in there?

- Just a minute, pal. - I mean it.

- Get 'em out of here. - Just a minute.

And you get out of here, too.

Easy now, just a minute. Hold on.

Now, listen, I'm-I'm running into a little--

Look, I'm through shitting around with you, you putzola.

I want you to give me the gun.

Mr. Birdwell, uh, I'm the one that has the gun.

I mean, it is in my possession.

Charles told me, uh, what you are offering and--

Wait!

[grunting]

Hit her, for God's sake.

'She's got the goddamn gun.'

- 'He has a point, Lamar.' - Wait a second.

If you lay a hand on me, I'm telling you

you're gonna pay for it in your next life.

Violence has never solved anything.

If you come one step closer, I'm gonna break this

right on your face, you creep.

[telephone ringing]

Answer it.

[ringing continues]

Hello, doll. Ira.

'I'm at Whiting's place.'

'He's dead.'

'I've got this whole thing figured out.'

- 'Ira--' - Doll.

In case you're interested..

...I know who killed Harry Regan.

It was Birdwell.

'Stay put, okay?'

'I'm on my way over to your place.'

Don't hang up--

Lamar..

'...how would you like a new Coupe Deville?'

'Color of your choice.'

[instrumental music]

Mr. Wells, I cannot tell you how good it feels

to have finally opened up and told the truth

to have opened up the dark side of my soul.

It's like stepping into the sunlight.

[groans]

Are you alright?

[coughs]

I'm alright. I'm alright.

[Margo] 'Listen, he's an old guy. He's not even well.'

'He needs an operation.'

'He's gonna have one on his stomach.'

'I know we could talk this over'

'and work something out.'

'There's no reason to get him.'

Mr. Birdwell, let me give you the gun.

Why don't I do that?

I don't know why I didn't give it to you before.

I know how much you want it

and I don't even care about the gun.

'I'll do that, okay?'

'I'm gonna stand up.'

See? I'm standing up.

I'm just gonna walk across the room.

Here I am. I'm walking across the room.

I'll open this drawer.

See me opening it?

Just take it and go.

[Charles] 'Well, what about me?'

And what about yours truly? We had a deal.

"Twelve bills for the gun." That's a direct quote.

You know, that old guy isn't so dumb.

He's right about Harry Regan.

I killed him.

[door rattles]

[clattering]

[screams]

You okay?

Darling, you must think I'm such a terrible person.

[groaning]

- Ira! - Ah!

[grunting]

Do something.

'I told you he was sick.'

[groans]

You don't look so good, pop.

Hey, Ronny, you ever been to Florida?

'You got these old turtles'

'that crawl up on the beach at night.'

When I was a kid, I used to sneak up on them

with a two-by-four

and flip them over on their backs.

They looked just like that.

[chuckles]

Let me..

Let me, let me see a doctor, I want, I want..

- What did you say, old man? - I want a..

[grunts]

Do you wanna know something, punk?

You were born dumb and you're gonna die dumb.

'Now get up.'

'Get up!'

Hurry up!

Park it over in that chair.

[Ira grunting]

Alright, sit down.

'Keep your hands nice and quiet'

and your mouth shut up.

Are you alright?

Never been better.

[sighs]

Pretty nice.

Pretty slick.

You knew if I fell for it, they'd fall for it, right?

Of course I didn't fall for it.

You son of a bitch. Don't you ever that to me again.

What if I had fallen for it?

Which I didn't, I could have had a heart attack, goddammit.

'I mean, here's someone I really care about'

drop dead at my feet, how am I supposed to feel

about that, I mean, how am I suppose to feel?

For God's sake, mentally deranged, that's how.

- Probably for the rest of my-- - Let's talk in this way, doll.

You're still alive, aren't you?

And that's another thing. Don't call me doll.

I don't like it.

You know, pop, she's a real loony bird.

[Ira] 'You're not?'

You don't mind if I sit down, do you?

'I've had a tough day.'

Kid, just hear me up before you do anything crazy.

We've got this guy between a rock and a hard place.

I mean, we're in a position to make an A-number-one deal.

Nice to see a man who loves his wife.

'You gotta get used to something, pal.'

'She doesn't love you back.'

- Ronny, do something-- - Be quiet, please.

'Laura kills Mrs. Whiting at that love nest'

'over on Fountain Avenue.'

'She calls Brian Hemphill and gets him to come in'

'and clean up her mess.'

'Escobar and Brian move the body back to Whiting's house'

and fake the stamp caper

'to throw the cops off the track.'

Mm-hmm.

That's water over the dam, Wells.

Let's cut to the chase.

[Ira] 'Escobar's got the gun Laura used on Mrs. Whiting'

'and he starts to blackmail her.'

'Somewhere along the way'

'Birdwell realizes if he can get ahold of that gun'

'Laura will have to stick to him like glue'

'for the rest of her life.'

Wells, why are you putting my wife

under this pressure?

He and his joker here go looking for Escobar.

They catch up with him at that palace

he had in Santa Monica.

Put the arm on him..

...but Lamar gets carried away and kills him.

I can see.

This is gonna cost me.

By now Whiting's starting to get nervous.

'He's in this mess way over his head.'

'He decides to go to the cops.'

'Laura couldn't afford that so she had to kill him.'

It's a lie.

That's when you came to me..

...hoping I'd play the sap for you.

He's lying.

No, that's exactly what happened.

[Ira] 'You figure I wanna talk to Whiting.'

You take me there, sniff around

'and think it was your husband has killed him.'

Ronny, you don't believe that, do you?

Wells, I'm not saying you're right, hmm?

But what's the price?

I've been in this business for 31 years

give and take a couple of months.

I've always played it on the up and up.

Call the cops.

Hold it!

Put that thing down, Charles.

You haven't got the ass to swing it.

[Charles] 'Unh-uh.'

All my life I've been a loser

from the day I was born.

What makes you different now?

What the hell makes you think that Birdwell is gonna sit still

'for some low-end chisel like you'

'that takes that dough off?'

Because I'll make him, that's why.

Because I got him by the short hairs.

[Ira] 'You're gonna make him just like Harry Regan made him.'

Harry goes to Birdwell, tries to deal himself in

'but Birdwell can't take a chance'

'on some two-bit chiseler gumming up the works.'

'So they meet someplace nice and quiet for a payoff.'

Birdwell unloads a .45 point-blank into his stomach.

[gunfire]

You dumb son of a bitch.

- 'Didn't I tell you you'd--' - Mr. Wells.

Sit down and shut up.

Six figures.

He was gonna pay us six figures.

Uh, police emergency?

'It's 3626 Franklin.'

'Apartment 405.'

'We have a dying man here. Step on it.'

Jesus Christ.

'How'd I ever get mixed up with you in the first place?'

You're right, Charlie.

I'll never learn.

I think maybe I better sit down now.

Yeah.

Alright.

- I think I'll sit down. - Okay.

Ira, do you believe in reincarnation?

I don't know.

Never thought much about it.

I hate to think of Charles just floating around

in the eternal void, I..

...like to think that he's gonna drop around again sometime.

I mean, even if he was pretty non-evolved.

You know what I mean?

Nope. Charlie did the best he knew how.

That's for sure.

Where you headed?

Well, I was gonna take this number 10 over to Highland

and then transfer to number 4.

That should let me off a couple of blocks

from my house.

What about you?

I don't know.

Mrs. Schmidt asked me to move out.

That place next door to you, is that still empty?

[instrumental music]

I don't know, Ira, I don't think I could take it.

'I mean, you just never say anything, for God's sake.'

'It's not fair, 'cause I have to keep up'

'my side of the conversation and your side'

'of the conversation.'

Yeah, that's it, you just never say anything for God's sake.

'I want some feedback from you.'

I wanna, I wanna know what you think about things..

...and what you think about me.

Jesus Christ, would it kill you if once in a while

you wore a Goddamn dress?

[instrumental music]

♪ What was ♪

♪ Is a memory to haunt you ♪

♪ And what was ♪

♪ Is that dream that comes to taunt you ♪

♪ Teasing you ♪

♪ Leading you ♪

♪ Back through the years ♪

♪ But just when you reach out to touch ♪

♪ It all disappears ♪

♪ If what was ♪

♪ Is the only thing you cling to ♪

♪ And what was ♪

♪ Is the only song you sing to ♪

♪ There are ways ♪

♪ Time can praise ♪

♪ Those are the days ♪

♪ But just remember ♪

♪ To remember ♪

♪ What was ♪

♪ Is just what was ♪♪