Original subtitles

Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET

- Our star driver has arrived! - Hi, Marcella!

Hi, guys!

They ask us, "Isn't your salary enough?"

Ah, you're always talking about money!

So tell me, if someone offered you more money, what would you say? No, thanks?

- Marcella! - Arvaro, the greatest cab driver in Europe!

- Where did he come from? - Look at him run!

Look what I brought you! A picture of your lover!

- My beautiful lover! - What about me?

- Excuse me! - Have a nice day!

Drive me to our special place! Let's go!

- Hey!! What are you doing? - Stop!

Stop, Marcella!

I haven't seen you in a long time, Ramon!

Where have you been, eh?

In Venice, my love!

You promised to take me to Venice when we get married, Ramon!

- For our honeymoon night, remember? - Yes, my darling!

Take these off!

Let me feel your beautiful curves.

The thought of us in Venice fills me again!

My wonder!

My heart!

Make love to me!

Make passionate love to me!

Slow down, that hurts!

My darling is so beautiful...

Watch the stick shift!

Love me...

- I'm so happy! - Ramon!

Look at those two!

They've taken their clothes off!

So this is what you're up to?

I'll get you both! You'll see!

Get back here!

- Who was that, a hunter? - How should I know?

Bastard, lying cheat! I'll show you! I'll destroy your car!

Coward!

- Come down, coward! I'll kill you! - Do you know her?

I met her a few years ago in church.

You took me to Venice ...

... for our honeymoon!

So that's it... you're married!

- Just a little! - Oh yeah?

- Is that right? - Don't hit me!

- Get out of here! - But I'm naked!

- Where can I go? - You can go to hell!

Wait, that wasn't a woman! She's not a normal person!

You lying bastard! You thought you'd take advantage of your defenseless wife?

Don't aim there, my bride!

I can explain everything!

It was a moment of weakness...

TAXI GIRL

That's not going to work, my girl!

Do you think your cab can earn ten times more than the others make?

- You know what they say in the building? - No... and I don't care!

- That's right! - Shush! Be quiet!

- Did I say anything? - Shut up!

You said she was right! You talk like you're at a conference!

No, you're the reason for the scandal!

You're the one who gave her your taxi!

A girl as beautiful as that should be in a better place.

She could've married an accountant! Then she could ride as a passenger in the car!

We could call her on a telephone!

I'm not worried about that!

- Exactly! Exactly! - Shut up! Shut up!

It's bad, my girl! Bad! Nobody understands how bad!

You have a taxi license!

Who's going to marry someone who walks around with a taxi license?

Look... we all hope she'll get married!

- I'm off! Ciao! - Ciao!

Cover your faces!

Don't move, or I'll shoot!

- Get against the wall! - Give me the child!

Against the wall!

Please leave the child!

- Quick! Get out of the car! - That's not in the script! What are you doing?

Put the child down, asshole!

Police, nobody move! Hands up!

Stop! Cut! Who said they could enter?

- You came in too early! - What? You're not dead?

Who called you?

- How did I do? - Like shit!

Where are the producers? Where are the extras? Have they all gone?

- You! I'll kick your ass! - How dare you!

How dare I? I'm the director!

Watch your language!

You want to ruin me! I'm ruined!

Who are those people?

They're going to ruin everything. They're the real cops!

Who asked for real cops? You want them to take me to jail?

Why didn't you say anything?

So... you caught them?

- Who's she? - I'm the one who called the police!

Ah... congratulations!

What civic spirit!

Such behavior... truly exemplary!

Why couldn't you mind your own damned business?

The report says you caused three police cars to intervene!

I was passing by and I saw them with machine guns ...

You thought it was a robbery!

But they were making a film and everything was arranged.

The producers say you caused 18 million in damages! What are you going to do about this?

But I don't have any money, commissioner!

None at all? Well, that's not really my concern. I'll see what I can do.

But two felonies! Three police cars! The fiasco at the bank!

I do need to do something about these!

Do you want to arrest me, commissioner?

Why arrest you? I want to see if I can work something out!

- Here... do you want to buy a lottery ticket? - Why not?

- To settle everything? - Only for things that happened in Rome...

- For ten thousand? - Agreed!

- Good-bye, commissioner. - Good-bye!

Miss! Don't forget my 10.000!

- Good evening! Hello! - Hello, Arvaro!

Aji... I want four pieces of meat to go!

- You want four what? - I said four pieces of meat to go!

- Go where? - On these!

- Hello, Marcella! - Hello!

- How are you, beautiful? - Not good! Give me a Fernet-Branco!

- Where have you been? - Down at the commissioner's!

- Did something happen? - A big-mouth director!

- Who was it ? - Someone who terrorizes Rome.

Who makes the branches move so that it rains! Know what I mean?

You met a director and that's all you can say? Maybe he was an important one?

- What do you mean, important? - A big-time director!

Just think...

For example, I'm a short Marlon Brando!

What a couple we could make! You're the damsel in distress ...

... and I'm the brave sheriff who rescues you!

Think of the box-office!

Your food, sheriff!

I'm so hungry, Marcella!

At least I got a bite....

- Good morning! - Good morning!

- Where are we going? - To the airport... and hurry!

Faster, miss! Faster! My plane leaves in half an hour!

This is a cab, not a missile!

You're right, but if I don't make that plane, I'm ruined!

I have to reach home in London this evening!

- I'll give you 100.000 if we make it! - We'll get there! You'll see!

That'll teach him to drive in the middle of the road!

Don't be afraid!

Let's take a shortcut!

Goddam it!

- Did you fall down? - No, that's the way I always stop!

License and registration!

I'm in a hurry! I've no time to lose!

- You broke the law! - It's not my fault, ask my passenger!

- Is something wrong? - I can't move! My chest...

- It's a heart attack! - What?

Let's go to the hospital. We'll escort you!

- Excuse me! - Follow me!

Calm down! Grab his feet!

Put him down carefully! Don't drop him, like you usually do!

Pick him up!

Symptoms of stroke with partial paralysis!

Extremely agitated even while paralyzed!

Possible fracture of the left femur...

Couldn't it be a herniated disk, like my friend had?

What are you talking about? I shit my pants!

What are you doing on my motorcycle?!

You're so handsome!

I'll be the next Tomas Millian! When I transfer to the theft squad, he'll be nothing!

Look at this guy! You'd think he was Fabio Testi!

Yeah, like shit he is!

- I can tell you're depressed. We should talk! - We should!

With due respect, but there are all kinds of pricks who might force themselves on you.

I can tell you're a special man!

You're too kind! Tell me about yourself.

Why, are you writing a report?

- No, never! Are you married? - No!

- Engaged! - No!

- Not even dating... - No!

- Are you free? - I'm quite free!

- The Flavia residence! - The residence!

Then I hope to see you soon, miss!

Of course! Good afternoon! And thank you!

It was nothing! Drive safely...

I salute you!

Did you see who was in that taxi?

Did I ever! A wonderful girl!

The man with his foot in a cast!

- What do I care about a man, Isidoro? - That's Adonis, the mafia boss!

Adonis? Yes? After him!

Yes, after him!

Let's go!

- Where are you going? - I'm taking a shortcut!

Like Franco Nero, the great policeman!

I was lucky! My ass is in one piece!

You okay, boss?

Everything's fine, Rocco! Thank you!

- My leg is full of morphine! - Yes, I have a sensitive nose, thank you!

No, I said my leg is full of morphine!

- I don't know how I'll get out of this! - Of course!

I don't fancy walking around Rome like this!

- I'll stay with my blonde for a while. - You say you broke your sling-shot?

- It could happen to anyone! - The blonde!

- The blonde! - The bomb?

- Don't pull my leg! - What peg?

My leg, you deaf idiot! Pay for the taxi!

- Yes! - My leg...

- So why are you limping? - I was just showing solidarity with you!

- How much? - 1.700.

Okay. One thousand, two...

- Three thousand. Keep the change! - Thank you!

- Stay there! - What did I do now?

That's Adonis, the famous mobster! The police are looking for him!

No one can figure out how he transports his drugs!

Oh yeah? I think I know!

- Adone Adonis! The mob boss? - Yes sir, we know where he is!

He's at a residence!

- The home of his girlfriend! - His girlfriend! Bravo!

The most important thing is we figured out how the drugs are transported.

The what?

The drugs, eh? What's today's date?

- The 23rd! - Ah! The 23rd! That's a lucky number...

Good! Good! I already feel the smell of a promotion in the air!

Tell me where Adonis lives and how he operates!

If I tell you, commissioner, will you transfer me to the theft squad?

Of course, I'll send you to the sheep squad, the panther squad, the gazelle squad...

I'll transfer you to the zoo!

Hurry, he must not get away!

Faster!

Is it some kind of trap, co... co... ?

No... it's bad luck! Now let's get moving!

Hurry!

Open up! We know you're in there, Adonis!

- Who is it? - The police!

Open up! In the name of the law!

Now he's made me mad! Break down the door!

You can't do anything! Let me do it!

Damn... we're in! Pick me up!

- Let's get in there! - What do you want?

Don't move Adonis! You've fallen into our trap!

Do you have a search warrant, commissioner?

I have something better! Give me the hammer, officer!

- The hammer? - Right here!

- What are you doing with that hammer? - Don't worry, I know how to handle it!

- You won't feel a thing! - Not the hammer... no!

- Oh, yes! - Not with a hammer!

Don't be afraid! This will only take a minute!

- Now, where is it? - Where is what?

- The drugs! - There are no drugs here, commissioner!

There are no drugs?

- That hurts! - Look at him acting!

Here they are! They're right here...

- How did it go, commissioner? - Leave me alone, miss!

You've seen the kind of information I can provide, commissioner.

What have you decided, commissioner? What do you want me to do?

Fuck off!

Is that a new squad?

Hi, Arvano!

- Is there any work this morning? - No, it's dead calm!

I've been here for an hour and not a single call.

- Okay, I'll go fill the tank! - Bye!

You're up early this morning!

- Fill it up? - Yes!

Yes, I'll tell her right away!

Marcella!

- Marchellita, Ramon just called! - I don't want to hear his name ever again!

It's a matter of life and death! You have to go to the film studio!

- My God, what's happened? - How should I know?

Marcella! The hose...

She returned it!

My divine one! Thank you for coming!

- What's happened, Ramon? - Let's go! I'll explain later!

So... what's this matter of life and death?

Marcella, my life! Marcellita, my heart...

By the way, what time is it? We still have a little left!

Let's go to my place! Let's go to bed, Marcellita!

You're a moron! Take your wife to bed!

I want you! You make my blood boil... I feel I'll explode!

Go see a doctor... he'll treat you!

Don't joke! I told you it's a matter of life and death!

- You know what this is? - A suppository! What is it?

It's a cyanide capsule!

The strongest poison!

If you won't be mine ...

... I'll put it between my teeth and I'll tell you ...

... goodbye!

Ramon!

Ramon, my darling! Speak, say something!

How can I? My tongue's gone numb!

Why worry about your tongue when your mouth is full of poison?

You bastard, that smells like lemon!

- It's a lemon drop! - It's vitamin C!

But now I know that you really love me!

- Baby, what are you doing? - Get out!

Don't dump me! Stop, Marcellita!

... we're shutting down the factory...

Fascists, crooks!

I'll be back, and next time you'll be mine!

Catch that instigator and kill him!

- Thank you! - No problem!

I think he appreciated our assistance!

Why did you stop me this time? Don't tell me I was speeding!

No! I pulled you over for personal reasons!

When I saw you approaching, I said to myself: Walter!

My name is Walter.

- Walter, you should stop Miss Marcella... - To wish her good morning.

- Exactly! - Then, good morning!

How... ?

Sure... you say good morning! As if you didn't understand.

Go now... but when the time is ripe, your tricks won't work anymore.

I'll show you an American-style getaway!

Like Charles Bronson of The Flying G-Men.

- Now what will you do? - I guess I'll walk home!

It doesn't bother me!

- Will you wait here? - Alright!

Your highness!

I'm sorry, but they can't all fit in my car! Where are they going?

They are Abdul Lala's wives!

- The great sheik of Altata! - Doesn't he care how they travel?

Watch what you say, he's the world's greatest oil sheik!

Good afternoon!

Will 50 dollars be enough?

Sure... enough to fix the muffler.

I must say you have a very efficient transportation!

Thank you!

His highness wishes to buy this cab and offers you $100,000 US!

- Do you understand? - What? 100,000 dollars?

Yes, 100,000!

- Is it true? - Yes, he said 100,000.

I advise you to accept!

We'll discuss it this evening, at nine o'clock!

How much is a dollar worth now?

800 lire at the moment. But it fluctuates!

Even if it does, that's still 80 million!

It might be a scam!

You think they'd steal from you? Aji! A beer here!

Sheiks are not like me! Everything they have is made of gold and platinum.

What's 80 million to them? They scrape that much off the bottom of their shoes.

You'll only give 'em the cab, not the license!

What would a sheik do with the license? Start cabbing?

Why, didn't Khadafi begin by selling cars?

- I have to go now! Ciao! - Marcella!

- What? - See if he wants my cab.

I have a Fiat 125, if he wants to do business, tell him I want $30,000 US!

- It's not a lot of money! - I'll tell him. Ciao!

- Aji! Why did you give me an empty bottle? - Empty?

It's cold!

Now you have to change out of those clothes.

His highness never receives women dressed in European fashion.

Are you sure he wants to buy my cab for $100,000?

I'm very sure, you only have to respect the ceremonial customs.

You'll never find anyone else to pay you $100,000 for that cab!

Faster, Amina! His highness is waiting!

But why did the sheik pick me to buy a car from?

Only Allah knows! Only Allah!

You only have to dress the way his highness wants!

In the Eastern fashion, from top... to bottom!

The beauty of the body must be shown without anything being revealed.

It's important that the face be covered!

You creep!

Enter!

Come in, don't be shy!

- What's your name, my dear? - Marcella!

Oh, Marcella, you shall dance for me! The belly-dance!

Honestly, I just came to sell my cab, not to dance!

I'll give you $200,000!

200,000 dollars! Do you want two cabs?

Let me clarify that.

$100,000 for the taxi and $200,000 for the dance!

There are many advantages to pleasing Abdul Lala!

I'd like to. I can do the twist, the shake, cha-cha, tango ...

... but I don't know the belly-dance!

I'd like to make my commission! I can't play my flute unless you dance.

Alright! I'll try...

Play!

Leave, all of you! Leave!

- I'll buy you! - What did you say?

- I want to buy you, I pay! - You want to buy my taxi?

What taxi? What do I need with that?

Thursday I bought a Ford, Friday a Fiat...

Monday I bought an Alfa-Romeo, and today I buy you!

You want to buy me? Aren't your wives enough?

Every night it's the same fifty dishes, my dear! I'm getting bored!

Fifty every night?

Yes, but always the same fifty!

I'll give you a contract!

- No you won't! Have you hurt your head? - What?

You dare refuse the great, illustrious Abdul?

Let me tell you something Abdul Lala! Take this!

- Where are you going? Get back here! - Good-bye!

- Let go, leave me alone! - Okay, I'll buy you and your taxi!

- I'll buy you anything you wish! - Goodbye!

Stop! Stop!

- Salam! - Cut the salami...

- It's not my fault! - Faster, to the car!

Wait! I want a taxi!

- Get in the car! - Let's go!

Can you believe it, I just met a crazy sheik!

Faster! Faster!

I'm going fast enough that the cops should pull me over!

Instead of following me ...

... that guy ought to find some hookers!

That's it! The hookers! That gives me an idea!

Alright... move!

Move it, princess!

We're just working for a living!

We're honest girls!

Stop! Wait a minute!

Marcella! Marcella!

You're pissing me off...

- Hurry up... get in there! - Stop!

Marcella! I'm here for Marcella! Let go of me!

- You don't know who I am! - You get in there, too!

You don't know who I am!

You don't know! You don't know!

Who is this pig? Hold him down!

That one accused me of not knowing who she is!

Let me tell you how it is.

That's the oil sheik! If he gets mad, we grovel at his feet.

His name is on everything! His name is on the bridges ...

... his name is on the cargo ships, it's on the film makers ...

... his name is on the television stations! Even the newspapers!

Our nation is in peril!

All because I pushed that fat jerk?

This is of no concern of mine, commissioner!

If you want to arrest me, then do it!

Who said anything about arrest? Don't even joke about it!

Today is Friday the 17th - bad luck! Don't even think about it!

Bring the two patrolmen in here!

They'll escort you home. You can't walk through Rome dressed like that!

- I don't want to cause any trouble! - Here we are!

Take the lady to a cab and then escort her home! Understand?

Yes, sir!

What a surprise!

I never dreamed of finding you here, dressed like this!

- Why, doesn't it look good on me? - Honestly, anything looks beautiful on you!

I have to make an important confession!

I feel a great passion for you! I want to know everything about you.

- If I may ask... are you an orphan? - No.

- Are your parents alive? - Yes, why?

I've been on the continent for several years. I don't know if you noticed my accent!

- I am Sicilian! - And so... ?

I'm old-fashioned, and I wish to speak to your parents.

So give them a call on the phone!

- No! I wanted to ask for your hand! - Why don't you ask me?

I already know your answer. I don't need to ask you!

I see love's passionate flame burning in your eyes!

- I want you, Marcella! - Your hands are cold!

Come look, I have a marvelous motorcycle! A real beauty!

Wait 'til you see it! Come on! Let's go...

Perhaps I interrupted you, you seemed busy!

There's time for that later, let's go look at my motorcycle.

I just got it out of the shop! It was completely modified!

The pistons were honed, the exhaust pipe tuned!

It's the bomb!

- You need a new taxi! - You need a horse carriage!

- Watch out! - You should have told me sooner!

Hello! What, who is this? Who are you?

I'm not good enough, eh? I'm not good enough - he wants Marcella!

- He's right! - Is that so? Marcella, the phone for you!

This isn't your home, Marcella!

That girl keeps the phone tied up all the time!

- I'll teach that guy a lesson! - Alright, knock it off!

Hello! What do you want, Ramon? Don't you know that I'm working?

And I don't want to speak to you ever again!

One moment, please, don't be angry! Marcellita, my heart!

I have great news for you!

You'll be so happy! I've left my wife!

Really? I don't believe you!

I swear, my darling! It's true!

I'm only thinking of you!

I'm getting weak without you!

Believe me! I'll explain everything!

Tomorrow I'll come and pick you up at 7:30 at your house. Okay?

- No! - Why not?

Eight o'clock!

- I kiss you! - Adios!

Are you still carrying on with that jerk, Marcella! He only wants to get in your pants!

Why do you care?

One of these days I'm going to get her in the back of my car ...

... and after I'm done, she'll only have eyes for me!

Marvelous!

Splendid!

Tonight, I'll devour you!

My divine one!

- A kiss? - Later, if you deserve it!

Let's go to the car!

Please, miss!

And I bought flowers! Go fuck yourself!

Let's dance!

Minghetti Club DANCING Evening Dancing

Worn tires!

Illegal antenna!

It's a little dark, but the permit looks crooked!

Bad brakes!

License plate not visible!

I'll bust your balls, you big phoney! Cheating on your wife! I'll ruin you!

Financially!

If it pleases you, this is our best, sir!

- Blanc de Blanc, Prince of Piemont! - Perfect! Leave it!

A beautiful evening, this will be my night!

I think our good times have begun!

Good times? What finally gave you the courage to act?

Bravo!

And now a tango!

Tango, the passionate tango!

Let's tango!

- Would you care to tango, miss? - Hell yes!

Watch it, don't hurt yourself!

- Let's follow that pair! - Which one?

Thank you!

Let's do a dip!

Now what is it?

Help! Get her off me!

What an evening...

Look out!

- What's this? A revolution? - A Christmas tree!

Parking in a reserved space!

Parking in a military area!

Parking in an area of intense aviation activity!

I've been attacked!

I don't understand why they're all on my car and none on the others!

It's no problem, I know a cop!

Very good!

Come in, don't be shy!

Careful not to wake the cat!

- Come in, please! - It's quite large for one person!

I'm don't live alone, considering the rent.

No! Two actor colleagues also live here!

Their rooms are off limits!

This is my room! Come in!

This is my bedroom, where I live like a monk.

You like it?

It's beautiful... like a child's room.

Yes, yes... I decorated my room like a baby's room!

Since you left me, Marcellina, I've suffered an infantile regression!

Now let's play!

I'm going to put on this blindfold...

- Try and catch me! - Where are you, Marcellita?

- I'm here, come get me! - I'll catch you!

I've got you, my pretty one!

Now you'll be mine forever!

With you I can forget that shrew of a wife!

A kiss?

You're a lying coward, bastard... Asshole!

Help, she's killing me!

You deserve it, you bastard!

- Marcella! - Don't touch me!

Let's talk straight, man to man!

Man to woman!

Listen to the voice of my heart! What am I doing?

Just shut up for a minute! What now?

Fine, let yourself in! That's it, good!

One moment... I'll be right there!

I can make him disappear from your life once and for all, Marcella!

You want to stab him in the heart? That's your business!

I would be most honored to do so!

Are you married?

Engaged?

Promised?

Then kiss me!

Brakes!

Such violence isn't necessary!

First, we have to get engaged!

I bought you a small ruby!

You like it?

The ruby! The ruby blew off!

- Don't worry! I'll find it right away! - What do I care? Kiss me!

Make a donation! I'm a son of Jehova!

No, you're a son of a bitch!

- To a new life! - Good luck!

- I must compliment you on a lovely house! - Thank you!

It's clean, with no bad odors!

And the bedroom will be all ours!

- We'll share the kitchen and the bath! - So where will we sleep?

- On the terrace! - On the terrace?

With a little work, we'll make the room comfortable for papa and mama!

- Of course, that's how you men think! - I end up sleeping on the terrace!

How much do you make in a month?

185.000 liras!

That should be enough for family expenses.

20.000 for my delicious wife!

Then 15.000 for each kid, counting six kids.

- What, only six? - That's the first six years!

- After that, we'll see! - And the wedding costs? Fifty-fifty?

Sure, papa! Marcella and I will chip in what we get for the taxi.

What's that? We'll sell the cab? Why?

She asks why. As if you didn't know!

You should understand.

What is this? The wife of a respectable policeman driving a taxi all day?

Driving strangers around? We'll be the laughing stock...

- That's right! - You know what they say ...

... the woman is the soul of the home! She has to wash, clean, take care of children!

But because we're feminists, she can go out on Sunday!

- For church! - Even better!

What an aroma! I can't wait to taste it!

- How is it? - It may need a little salt!

- Taxi! Taxi! - Stop!

Good evening! Where are we going?

To Club Scarabocchio!

After we leave the club, are you coming to my place, Rocco?

Who's in agony?

Let's hope he's not found! Like the last one!

Don't yell! I'm not deaf!

That guy won't bother us anymore!

I calmed him down... gave him two lead candies! Nine millimeter!

I'll tell you who's next.

The lady in black who wears glasses!

- This is a nasty business! - Why is she having sea sickness?

- You're a pest! - What's Budapest got to do with it?

- We may have to torture her. - Where are the rats?

- Good evening, Don Adonis! - Good evening.

And you, pay up!

Here you go!

Keep the change!

Fine, take him into the other room!

- Co, co... - Co, co, cri, cri, just go away!

Sorry co, co... !

I feel I may be wasting your time again!

Not so! This is the 13th! A lucky day!

Your information backs up that from the owner of Club Scarabocchio!

Among others, he works for us!

Through him, we've learned that a large quantity of drugs has entered Italy!

And our darling Adonis wants to buy it!

- You following me? - What about the body?

He was a Sicilian who also tried to buy!

He got two nine millimeter bullets in the back!

And the lady in black, who is she?

She's one of us!

They're pretty shrewd, not like that idiot sheik who made you belly-dance.

By the way, stand up for a moment!

- Why? - Stand up, I want to check something!

Tell me, are men often attracted to you?

- I certainly don't make them sick! - I can understand that!

When they look at me, they undress me with their eyes!

- And you, commissioner? - No, I'm sorry! I'm not like that!

Right now a public servant is looking at you, not a man!

I'm trying to find out what physical... physical qualifications you might have ...

- ... for a special mission! - A mission?

Now... did you understand everything?

Do you remember the police number? One, one, three.

Of course I got it... 113!

Be careful! They are suspicious people!

Relax, I have a face that no one would suspect!

That's for sure!

I'm off, then! Ciao!

Be careful! If anything happens, I'll have to take them out!

- Don't worry! - Ciao!

- Good evening! At your service, co, co... - Co, co... shut up!

- This is central command... - Anything new?

I've contacted our agent, and she's in position!

The cars are ready to roll! They've warmed up their engines!

Tell them not to go until I give the word! You understand?

Yes, sir! Attention!

- What are you two doing? - Your papers!

I don't have them on me! What are you saying?

- Commissioner! - What are you doing here?

We're on duty! Stay here, we'll be leaving soon!

- Is it something big, commissioner? - Not for you!

Good evening, Mr.Adonis!

- Hi, Giacomo! Any customers? - There's enough...

Enjoy yourself! Thank you!

- Hello, Mr. Adonis! - Hi, Giorgio! Give me a bottle of J and B.

And one for me!

Hi, doll! I'll see you later, I've got work to do now!

When... when is the guy coming?

- Tonight! - It's about time!

- I didn't give the time, I said tonight! - I get it! I get it!

What are you doing? Dancing by yourself? Take my coat...

Let's sit here!

Please, after you, darling!

- You like it, baby? - I like it, but it looks expensive!

Don't worry, we must celebrate our love once in a while!

As usual, we celebrate our love with my money!

For the first time in Italy, the sexy doll, Sheila Bloom!

We have to watch the Neopolitans for the white stuff!

I'm not worried about them! I brush my moustache with those guys!

- Don Corleone doesn't brush his moustache! - Listen! I'm done talking to a deaf man!

Get an acoustic cone!

- I eat my croissant with coffee! - Shut up, you imbecile!

- Whiskey, madam? - No, it's just a minor rash from washing.

- Two, with plenty of ice! - Very good, sir.

Miserable bastard! You brought me here to look at that whore's ass!

You know you're in for a beating!

Who's that?

Must be a new one! I haven't seen her before.

- Get the information! - Get into what?

- Into what? - Should I wash?

Who said anything about washing? Get the information!

Yes... right away.

Don't you have anything to say? You're still seeing her?

That's all over! Don't be angry!

- Calm down! - Judas!

You'll notice I'm not calling you an asshole, darling, because I'm a gentleman!

Then you can pay for yourself! And when you get home, I'll beat you!

Hey, can't you see where you're going?

Wait, don't leave me, Ornella! I have no money! Stop!

- Are you begging her? - No!

Ornella! I beg you!

- Did you enjoy yourself, madam? - You'll see!

- Ornella! - Leave me alone!

Ornella! Wait, darling! Why do you make me suffer?

You don't understand! You can't leave me like this!

Please, Ornella!

At least leave me some money!

Taxi!

- Please, sir! I'm in a hurry! - I just went off duty!

- What are you doing here? - What's it to you?

- I have to keep a lookout! - What?

I'm her lookout!

- Don't look! Close you eyes! - They're closed!

- Are they? You swear? - I swear!

- Do you have the information? - I have the information!

- Well? - She's a beginner!

- Is that so? - How much should I offer her?

- Whatever you recommend! - Yes.

- Not too much! - No.

- Very bogus. - Very well.

- Give me a cigar! - What?

- Give me a cigar! - Yes, right away!

- Well, where's my cigar? - I can't find it, my eyes are closed!

- Alright, open one eye! - May I?

Only one! That's enough! Give me the cigar!

- What? - The cigar!

If Marcellita is in danger, I must stay!

Stay for what? Haven't you done enough?

- I have a moral duty! - A moral duty! To poor Marcellita?

- Coming from someone with a face like a burro! - Huh...?

An ass-face!

- He really liked me? - There she is!

Get down!

Good evening!

- Hi... - Hello, beautiful!

What are you waiting for? Get going!

- I'm following that car! - Follow that car!

- What are you doing, rehearsing? - Let's go!

- Faster, we need to catch up! - Oh, shut up !

- Faster! Faster! - Don't yell in my ear!

- Let's not lose them! Adelante! - Who's Adelante? I'm Arvaro!

What's with the funeral faces?

We're here to have some fun!

- Don't look so serious! - Of course we'll have fun!

- At least I think we will! - Who's shooting?

- What a funny guy! - Rocco isn't funny! He's a moron!

I met a funny guy in New York! I drowned him in a beer barrel!

- That's a good one! - Pay attention!

- They're leaving the highway! - You nearly made me lose control!

- What made you come with me? - Follow them!

What a wonderful place! A beautiful villa!

- Come in, doll! - It's so big!

How do you like my little shack?

It's stupendous!

Believe me, I gave an arm and a leg for it! Give me a cigar, Rocco!

- Eh? - Faster, Rocco! A cigar!

- What? - A cigar!

- If I wait any longer, I may as well quit! - Don't quit!

- Cuban or Tuscan? - Cuban!

- How did they baptise you, doll? - Sheila!

- An exceptional name! She's called Sheila! - Six?

- I said Sheila! - Seia...

Enough already!

Listen, my darling rose, this will be a great evening.

We'll have a blast! Or even... a double blast!

- Prepare my bath, Rocco! - The small one or the big one?

The matrimonial one, moron!

- Because you two... - Go! Go! Go!

And now it's just us two, doll...

Let's get to know each other better!

I understand you're new in the business!

Yes!

- Pristine... - You mean mint condition? Good, good!

- Do you know why I ask? - No.

It's because you look familiar! I've seen you before!

I've been told I look like Marilyn Monroe!

- Let's see what's going on! - Why do you care?

- Hurry! - There's no need to get tough...

- Do we have to get closer? - Let's go!

I'm going...

Quiet!

Now! Let's go!

My God! Look there! I didn't know there was a dog!

- You know him? - I don't!

- Introduce yourself! - I'm the great Arvaro!

He didn't understand anything! You have to speak German to a Doberman!

Volkswagen... Beckenbauer!

He doesn't understand!

- Aren't you afraid? - No! I always wet my pants!

We're leaving now! Goodbye!

You stay...

Hey doll, what do you think of this room?

- It's feels very intimate! - It's my bedroom!

Relax, doll! Have a seat on the bed!

I don't know about this...

You're a grown woman. What's going on in your mind?

Did you think I brought you here to sleep? Now... get on the bed! Listen to me, blondie!

I like you a lot! I want to get naked with you!

Since you're acting like a beast, I guess you mean to force me to make love?

- Exactly! - You should have said so up front, my coconut!

- Is that a problem? - Of course! I choose my own men!

You know I have to slap you now!

I'll get you, pussycat!

Capo! Boss!

- Shut up! - Excuse me!

- Can't you see I'm beating her? What is it? - The courier is here!

- The evening one? - The drug one!

Damn, just when I'm playing with the pussycat!

- The cat is hiding! - Rocco!

- I'm listening! - Did he bring the stuff?

Yes! He wants to speak to you, or else he leaves!

I'll deal with it. Guard the pussycat! If she tries to get away...

- ... slap her hard! - Shag her hard?

- You? - But when will I shag... ?

Never!

Why not? I'm not gay, am I?

Hello! Hello, I can't hear you!

Hello, commissioner, I'm ready when you are!

Yes, I'm ready! I have information about the one you're after!

- Tell me! - Take Scenic 8 to ...

... highway 8-B, and then 8-D.

Go 12.6 kilometers on the first, and then 14.1 kilometers on the next!

- That will take you to the one! - Yes, good, I'll pick her up there!

- Pick up who? - You said it leads to the one I asked you to watch!

But it's not her hideout!

What a beautiful beard! You're so virile!

I'm so hot!

Where's your boss? He left me all alone ...

... in this bed.

Lovely!

How beautiful!

What an intimate and sensual sight!

Why aren't you speaking?

Say something to me!

She spoke!

- Wake up! - May I have a small coffee?

What?

What have they been doing all this time?

- I need to think about this a little more... - I understand! Why did I even ask?

I'm going back to sleep! Wake me if anything happens.

We just need to stay calm... He's asleep already!

Can you believe it, not a single cop has showed up yet?

Damn, it's raining!

Come immediately, commissioner, I have the situation in hand!

- Hey! What's going on here? - Get over by your friend!

- What friend? - Shut up or I shoot!

What happened? Hold the bag, you idiot!

How dare you? Do you think this is your home? Put down that gun!

- You'd better believe I'll shoot! - I don't want to play anymore! I surrender!

- Then shoot! - Don't move, or I'll shoot!

Shoot!

My God, the blood... the blood!

It's water! He had a water pistol!

Water, you moron?

- The noise bothers me! - You're a pussy!

- What's that got to do with anything? - We have the house surrounded! Come out!

- It's the police! We're getting out of here! - Yes!

Hurry! Stay with me!

- Stop! - Alright!

Let's go! Hurry...

- Hey, get over here! Open my door! - I'm coming!

- The door! Open it! - Yes.

Stop! Stop!

Shoot!

Search the house!

- That way, the drugs are in a bag. - Let's follow him!

- What happened, Marcella? - Now he shows up!

Let's go, I'm driving!

Slow down, Marcella! The engine is brand new!

It's only three years old!

- The road is full of cops! - The aunt was missing!

What aunt? It's the police!

- Let's go to auntie's and get cleaned up! - At this hour?

- I don't know! - You don't know shit!

- When are they playing? - Who?

The Lazio [football team]!

Look, it's them! Step on it!

Marcella!

Marcellita, my darling! My heart's soul! Marcella...

Where did he come from?

Let's switch places! I'll get on the other side!

What's with all the confusion?

- Why don't you go to hell? - Not until one is dead!

I thought I just saw that bastard Ramon in a taxi!

And with that painted whore!

- Get out, liar! - Are you trying to offend me?

- Yes! - I'm a man, I have my pride...

- I don't need to take this... - Then take a walk!

- I'm a man!

- Where are you going? - Who gives a shit?

- Ramon! - Wait, Marcellita!

I was joking! Marcellita!

Stop! Please, mister...

Oh, mama... it's a strike!

- Ornella! - Bastard!

I'll kill you!

No! Help! Police!

Live from the station we're informing you that the mobile patrol unit ...

... led by commissioner Angelini is in pursuit of the famous Adone Adonis ...

-... and his number one man! - Marcella!

What was that guy doing in your car?

Answer me! Marcella!

- Say something... - Get lost!

Stop! Wait for me, Marcella!

Stop! Stop! Where are you going?

Who put this wall here?

You can't drive! Is that any way to stop?

- There's no time to waste! Climb on! - Right away!

Faster, we have to catch up with them!

- Fire! - Fire, co... commissioner!

What are you doing? Shoot! Shoot!

- Where? - At the tires!

At the tires!

Who gave me this guy? The tires on the car!

Shoot them!

See how it's done? Quickly! Get the tire jack!

Attention, due to an unforeseen situation the commissioner's car has stopped.

They're changing a tire, let's time the scene!

The record is held by the brigadier Macaluso from the Scrofano hot springs!

They're working in sync, the nuts have been tightened. The old record falls!

The car is ready to go in 18 seconds!

Let's go! Drive! Drive!

We have to do something!

Get closer to Adonis' car! I'll deal with it!

- Get ready, we're gaining on them! - It's going to be just like in the movies!

Get closer and you'll see!

- Someone's knocking! - Who is it?

The flying arm of the law!

Who are you shooting at?

I flew off the car!

Remain calm, Isidoro! A colleague will come to get you down!

A black cat!

Brakes! Brakes!

- Please! Go ahead... - You first!

It was the cat! No, you first, commissioner!

- How can I, you're the bandit! - No, sir... you first!

Are we ever going to go?

- You have to go! - What about the cat?

You can go now, the road is clear!

You see? It was bad luck! And you wanted me to go first!

Did you think I'm some kind of sucker? Like you, commissioner!

Follow him! Hurry!

Do you think we could stop somewhere for a drink?

- I'll get him, commissioner! - No! Let me do it!

If not, good-bye promotion!

After a sensational pursuit, Adonis' car is still first.

The Citro�n taxi makes an elegant slalom.

Don't come any closer!

Women drivers!

Is it war you want?

Are we in a jousting tournament?

- Come back, Marcella! - How do I do that?

Leading the field, it's still Adonis, followed by ...

... half a taxi, then three police cars. A motorcycle policeman has just reached him!

Get out of the car, Adonis! You can't get away!

I've got my hands on you now!

Help! Stop!

Because he's being dragged, he'll be disqualified!

You're having fun, jerk?

The cars are all in a group, the half-cab tries to overtake ...

... an unsuccessful attempt!

- Bastard! - Stop, Arvaro! Let me down!

Come here, Marcella! Wait for me!

There they are! It's them!

Adonis is still in the lead, followed by the mobile brigade.

They've entered the film studio lot in single file.

When the director yells "Action!" get out there and shoot!

When I say "Shoot!", I mean "Shoot!"

Roll film!

- Scene 23! - Action!

- Stop! - I got him, eh?

Stop! Stop!

What are those cars? Where are you going?

This can't go on! Where's that idiot Inocentio?

This isn't the car scene! Not now! Look at this one! Stand up!

You can't do extra work!

No one believes you! You can't act!

You're a jerk! You can't even die properly! Stand up!

What's with those cars again?

Quick! Time is money! Let's stop wasting time!

Let's shoot everything!

Forward! Let's go!

Hey! Who are you?

The mounted bikers! There they are! Get them!

For the 7th Cavalry! Attack!

Charge!

The seven riders come out of the pits through the studio gate ...

... and follow the group!

- Now the American cavalry is here! - Yes, she's one big whore!

- Who are you talking about? - The slapping machine!

You don't understand shit!

You already told me about Lazio! You think I don't understand?

Bologna 19 here! Marcella speaking!

I need your help! Hurry!

- Roger, Marcella! We're on it! - Where are you going?

As you can see on the light board, the cars are converging on city center!

Watch out for that taxi!

Another one! When you need them, you can't find a single one!

The group rejoins at the Gioannicolo curve.

With a sensational move at the 50th turn the race has become even tighter!

- The 7th Cavalry is having a terrific race! - Hurray for the 7th Cavalry!

- I warned you! - Is this my fault?

- Leave me alone! - Shut up!

Attention! Let the car pass!

- Shut up! - Wait for me!

- We want to report a missing person! - Calm down! Calm down!

The light board shows the race is nearing the finish line!

Take me home, this is no longer any fun! Let me out!

Attention!

- Hi, mama! - Marcella! Marcella!

No! Stay back!

We've finally arrived!

To me, men!

- We have him trapped! - Where's the cameraman? Get him over here!

- Calm down, Isidoro! - Where are the brakes on this horse?

I'll hold him! Jump!

- I don't want to hear any excuses! - I'm Ramon Rodriguez, the famous actor!

Who is this guy?

- And who is this, King Kong? - How dare you!

Welcome! Don't hurt yourself! Are you alright?

Mama! My beautiful mama!

- My mama... - Come to mama! Let's go!

- You're not mama, you're the commissioner! - He's running away! Don't let him escape!

Where are you, my love? Marcella!

- My little girl! - Step aside!

- He's getting away! - Out of my way!

I'll smack you!

Step aside!

Charge!

Come back here! Stop!

- Stop, you crook! - Leave me alone!

I've got you! Give up!

There he is!

Charge!

Charge!

- Stop! All of you! - Thank goodness! I couldn't take much more!

- Let's all hold hands! - Hold hands? What for?

One, two... "What a lovely castle... " [Italian nursery rhyme/folk song]

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