Original subtitles

Germany in the future.

Erwin died in a pub.

Our chimney sweep died whilst skiing.

He was only 38 years old.

Irmgard's sister bought a tree.

There you can be buried inside a box.

There's hardly any space left in the cemeteries.

It's comfortable. I'll take it.

Quite expensive, dying.

Can't take anything with you.

Come into the panopticon of madness, of profoundness, metaphor of senselessness.

Welcome the protagonists in the carousel of meanings and misinterpretations.

Welcome today! If you're a coward better stay away.

You'll watch and get the Cabaret of Death,

faces of death as a symphony.

Welcome to the Cabaret of Death, live from the Old Printing House.

Today, with me, the funny, cool, sexy Hilde Lutz from Bochum.

This is the winner.

She won her role in a senior tombola.

Stay young, join it!

It's worth participating.

With Rolling Roland, DJ LoL, Billie and the Kitties

Lola and the Men's Ballet, the Three Graces, Patsy's experiment 2.0

and with the Face of Death.

Once more, live and exclusive, no-limit games.

Stop, stop, Stop-

Say, does this look like a star?

Bunny. Bunny. Bunny.

It's worth participating.

Welcome today! If you're a coward better stay away.

You'll watch and get the Cabaret of Death,

faces of death as a symphony.

Hello.

Faces of death as a symphony.

What's wrong again?

I rang.

I heard it.

But you have only just come now.

Mr. Naumann, there are 30 patients in this corridor,

and they are all sick.

And some ring over and over again.

Hello!

The bell is a signal for help in emergencies.

It' s not there to dispel boredom.

Hello!

But I'm in pain.

Where?

Here.

There's probably something in there, isn't it?

I don't have to go on that thing.

Well, so cooperate a bit now.

Hello!

I don't have to go on that thing.

Hello!

First ring and then

But I don't have to go on that thing.

Live from the morgue

In, out. In, out. All day long.

What?

No, not what you might think now.

Loaded in, empty out.

Loaded into the morgue, empty out.

It's all about them.

Otherwise, they would start to stink.

You don't want to know that.

Luckily everything is regulated here.

For example, see the green tag on the toe.

Everything is on it.

Name, date of birth, whether he was married,

when he died, why he died, if he died.

Sometimes they'd better write "why did someone live?".

Would make more sense.

Well, let's go ahead, boy.

Loaded up my trolley

And again: a partner for every single person and lots of entertainment

for us.

Here she is, our today's solo lady.

She doesn't know yet that she's part of the show.

We followed her data tracks on the net,

recovered all forgotten likes and comments,

photos and videos from the depths of the net.

How cute

Flush you down the toilet!

And there was quite a lotto be found.

Integration YES! But THEY have to stay out! Retch!

My new kitchen. Only the COOK is missing

Idiot!

She posts photos and videos about her unfortunate dates.

As we sat at dinner, he looked at me, quite seductively, and said:

"Grunt for me".

I told him I was a little uncomfortable.

Then he hit on the table and said: "if you don't grunt, I'll get up and go."

I was perplexed and started - grunting.

We are watching you, Monique!

She has set her mind being married at 40.

I found out that he made all his girlfriends grunt instead of moaning.

So, girls, stay away from this guy.

Now she's already 39.

Please?

But that way

Dear males, don't you have anything up there in your dull skull?

Ain't gonna work.

The uneducated moron of the week.

On the chair with her.

On the chair. On the chair.

Applause. Applause. Applause.

On the chair. On the chair.

Single with claim

So, excited?

Uh

Well, wonderful.

For those who are watching this game for the first time,

our charming Billie will provide a brief overview.

After our contestants have presented themselves, they will solve game tasks.

Challenges.

You, our audience, got to choose.

If you want to get to know them better, call this number or go online.

011221345678.

Maybe today you'll meet your partner for life.

Our Monique is really someone to touch.

011221345678.

Dear Monique, your challenge is called:

boobs or culture.

Did someone laugh?

Dirty dog.

I don't know what to say

She doesn't know what to say.

But you do, don't you?

Wanna boobs or culture?

Boobs. Culture.

Boobs. Boobs. Boobs.

Strip. Strip. Strip.

A partner for each single person. Lots of entertainment for our audience.

Strip. Strip. Strip.

The task for our Monique is a special kind of dance.

A burlesque dance.

This idea came from Werner Steil, Aschaffenburg.

500 € for you, Mr. Steil.

But first, our charming Miss Apple will show us how it's done.

I don't know

She doesn't know

but I know that there are only tasks that are manageable.

We are not inhuman.

Just ordinary entertainment sadists.

But, Miss Apple, kids are watching too.

Vote for your single person

Who has hooters of sorrow,

mosquito bites and is flat as a slat?

a slat!

That is our Moni,

but luckily, she still has armpit fat.

2, 3, 4 and all together now!

We want to see Moni,

Moni Mini, Moni Mini Melons dance.

Yes, our Moni, Moni Mini,

Moni Mini Melons should twirl.

All together now!

Moni Mini Melons. Moni Mini Melons.

Moni Mini Melons.

That was a feast for eyes, for sure.

But, but. Who would drop a tear?

Wasn't it quite seductive?

Moni Mini Melons. Moni Mini Melons.

We want to see Moni,

Moni Mini, Moni Mini Melons dance.

Shame is only fear about yourself.

Yes, our Moni, Moni Mini,

Moni Mini Melons should twirl.

2, 3, 4 and all together!

Moni Mini Melons. Moni Mini Melons.

Vote for your single person

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Germany.

Hey, guys.

I am the one with the mask.

I'm nothing and I own nothing.

Nobody knows my face.

But soon I'll be world-famous.

Then I'll take off the mask, and everyone will know me.

I'm going to be a world-famous influencer.

Damn!

O watching now

Well, then I'm not going to be a world-famous influencer.

Do we have to get into a fight every time we come here?

Each time it's 50 km here and 50 km back.

Thinking of today petrol prices.

I don't enjoy coming here either, but

but one simply does it, right?

It's my father.

He has eternal life.

He won't die, I tell you. Never.

The doctors think

They have been thinking for a half year.

A bit too much thinking if you ask me.

And your sister inherits the house.

Hello.

- Hello Dad. - Hello Hermann, how are you?

Hello, I am HELO, your smart home.

To set the speech recognition properly, please repeat a few words for me.

Cat.

Cat.

I'm sorry. I didn't understand you.

Where are the instructions?

Here they are.

I'm sorry. I didn't understand you.

I love you.

Always?

You can't ask things like that.

Why not?

Because I can only tell you about today.

Hello, I am HELO, your smart home.

To set the speech recognition properly, please repeat a few words for me.

Cat.

Dog.

But I can tell you that I will always love you.

Dog.

You can say it, but you can't know.

Dog.

But I know.

Mouse.

I know.

Mouse.

I'm sorry. I didn't understand you.

Mouse.

Cow.

Cow.

This uncertainty frightens me.

Horse.

I can't sleep anymore.

Pig.

Pig.

I can't sleep anymore, because I imagine you leave me tomorrow.

Thank you for the conversation.

I can't build anything anymore,

because I'm scared.

The CO2 content in this room is too high. You should ventilate.

It's CO2 "concentration", numb nuts.

CO2 concentration, thanks for the correction.

I love you.

Yes today. And tomorrow?

Tomorrow as well, certainly.

So, you can say that.

How far can you predict?

Oh, leave me alone.

My love for you, your love for me they are just the same.

Everyone has just one heart, one heaven in this game.

My love for you, your love for me it has one single sense.

If I love you and you love me that's all that it depends.

Yes, I love you and you love me that's all that it depends.

That's not good. My stomach will hurt immediately.

Don't be so fussy, Mr. Naumann. The kids want to see their dad, don't they?

They would rather see me in a coffin.

I'd love to have my peace. Forever.

Hello.

What's going on there?

It's like this all day.

My stomach will hurt immediately. Please, put my bed down again.

Now let's try this first, alright?

Doesn't the long journey cause you too many circumstances?

No.

Not at all.

If we could, we would come much more often.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello!

I'm going to see what's going on there.

Mr. Naumann, I'm taking you for a duplex scan.

No.

No.

They are experimenting with me here.

Dad, have a bit of confidence in the doctors.They will do the best for you.

Leave my hand, I have to take this.

They shouldn't do any more for me.

I've lived well. I actually wanted to die well.

This is just torment.

Tubing, wires, blood pressure measurement,

sugar measurement, swallowing pills,

tube in, tube out tube in, tube out.

I introduce myself

I'm dancing like an elf

a dancer from the choir

beloved from everyone.

My cookies are with a bit,

a small piece of

shit!

butter.

With my special spice

everybody's getting really nice.

Laura Laura Lett,

I dance in the ballet.

I'm dancing like a star

beloved from everyone.

Being old is horrible.

You only live through memory.

From dreams of long-lost youth, love and all that.

Waiting for death.

Just waiting all day for death.

If the pushing carries on like this, I'll soon be able to lay here myself.

That's the way it is.

That's why I take a break now.

That's the advantage about my customers.

They have time.

Lots of time.

Zero hectic.

You know, something hectic, like driving a bus or something like that,

anything that has to do with a lot of people who are still alive,

I couldn't do it.

What happened there again?

There again.

The youngsters, they're not very particular.

How could it come to any precision that way?

Take a look. I show you.

Can you see?

They write: Gerda Gössner. S-i-n. Full stop.

It's an abbreviation.

But for what?

Think about it.

Can you guess what it means?

Single.

What's the abbreviation?

You save the -gle.

But for that you need to set a full stop.

What's the gain?

It just leads to misunderstandings.

A normal man thinks, an abbreviation comes of a longer word.

It could mean sinful as well.

So Gerda Gössner lived in sin, something like that.

That only leads to misunderstandings.

"Single" also means free.

What do you think she was free of?

Certainly not free of sorrow.

Now she's free.

More freedom doesn't exist.

Free of life.

But the youngsters don't see it.

Sin. Lol. ROTFL.

No idea what it means.

Laughed my ass off, something like that.

What is the point of that?

In the past you said to a single woman: she wasn't getting a person.

Today it's called s-i-n.

And the whole thing is called progress.

Well, kiss my ass.

So, girl, let's go.

Complete nonsense.

I'm just on desk duty now. Until everything is okay with my knee again.

Lots of screws have been put in.

It beeps quite nicely at the airport.

Here's the challenge for our Werner:

"1 :30".

The idea came from Ulrich Zwängli from Paderborn. 500 € for you.

Mr. Zwängli doesn't want to know whether Werner is intellectuell and educated.

He also doesn't want to know if Werner can be humorous.

He wants to know: has he got courage?

Courage. Courage. Courage.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Courage. Courage. Courage.

Yes, do you have courage, Mr. Kaiser?

I believe so.

Your belief will do little to help you.

While the button isn't pressed, you'll keep on fighting at your best.

If you push its top our little game will stop.

You shall play with our charming assistant for one minute and 30 seconds.

A partner for every single person, lots of entertainment

for us.

The Strangler of Mannheim

Hello.

Well, still brave?

Well

Now clear the ring for the cruel Strangler of Mannheim.

Strangler. Strangler. Strangler.

The Strangler starts powerful.

Werner went down.

The Strangler got him.

Werner doesn't give up.

Go Werner, get up.

What is he doing now?

Hello.

Now now...

That hurts.

Go, get up, Werner.

Give everything.

Go, get up, Werner.

Hello.

Get that thing. Come on.

Hello.

Come on.

That's not all you've got.

That's a Burning Hammer.

I can see it in Werners eyes.

Hello.

Werner!

Werner is shock-proofed.

Oh, he will do the Neckbreaker.

Hello.

Now the Torture Rack.

The higher you climb, the further you have to fall.

There it is!

Hello.

10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ...

543 2 1

Yeah!

Strangler. Strangler. Strangler.

Vote for your single person

That really triggers a lot of likes.

A broken partner for every single person,

lots of entertainment for our audience.

Vote for your single person

Hello. Hello.

Please give me your hand for the evening descends

Hello.

And the birds of my fear now come out of their hills,

climbing into the air, to fly to me.

Please give me your hand, then I can defeat them.

We want to be joyful and happy and now, here love each other.

Tell me, beloved,

why is my hand empty, when we lie together?

You're just an incurable pessimist.

No. I just want to see true feelings.

Wherever I look, I only see lies and deceit and hypocrisy.

People only talk in rhetoric and with rehearsed "friendliness".

I hardly know what's a mask and what I can believe anymore.

They are just manners.

He accuses everyone who is kind to their fellow people,

who smiles and adapts to their environment.

People are only friendly because they simply pretend.

Everyone greets joyfully, no matter how you really are related.

You, for example

Should I shout at everyone, so you are satisfied?

You should be honest, if you know what that means.

Honest?

You exaggerate sometimes, honestly.

I'm not calling myself a liar, just because I'm nice.

The world will not go under with a bit of kindness.

But I will.

When her hand caresses me, that's wonderful.

But then the realization comes.

The certainty that she will embrace a person she doesn't like as well.

Doesn't she understand that her kindness is just fraud?

Nothing is real anymore.

Nothing is true anymore.

A closeout of feelings.

Everything is so

empty.

Does the pessimists' group want some food pleasure?

I have to exercise anyway.

Wherever there is a song, you can safely stay,

without fear of what is believed in the country.

Wherever there is a song, no person will be robbed,

for evil people have no songs.

All together now

With songs, every mother dedicates beautiful life to her love,

carrying him smiling into May groves, to sing him the first lullaby.

After success in Bavarian's border areas,

NRW is now also deploying a volunteer security force.

The focus is on preventing low-level crimes.

Hello.

The duties of the security force, made up of volunteer citizens,

include a presence in residential areas to prevent twilight burglaries

and also the photographing of poorly cleared sidewalks.

Hello.

Wherever there is a song, you can safely stay,

without fear of what is believed in the country.

Wherever there is a song, no person will be robbed,

for evil people have no songs.

- I'm going to get a weapon. - Weapon?

- Knife, pepper spray, something like that. - Nonsense.

Just because someone stole your wallet, you want to go on a personhunt ?

- I don't want to hunt people. - What else ?

- I want to protect myself. - Protect ?

You've seen too many movies. In any case, I reject violence.

On the Internet there is a weapon called Migrant Terror.

I no longer listen to such nonsense.

With songs, young love speaks what is unspeakable

I've been to the US before. And the US are the greatest of all democracies.

Yes, it is.

The US. That's why I know it very well:

a proper democracy needs a powerful army first of all.

An army?

Yes. How else do you want to teach democracy to all the dictators?

The native people of the US believe that they're

robbed of their souls when they're filmed.

In a football stadium,

they are always beating each other up.

On YouTube too.

Have you ever heard of two choirs meeting

Yes?

Have you ever heard of them beating each other up?

Or that there is police at a choir

No.

With German Shepherds and water cannons.

Wherever there is a song, you can safely stay,

without fear of what is believed in the country.

There even are vegan dildos.

I used to have the Rabbit Pearl, which glows in the dark.

It's quite practical.

The Bonobos settle conflicts through sex and love.

That would be something: world peace through dildos.

Imagine giving the soldiers dildos instead of guns.

Friendly fire, so to speak.

- Go for it, my comrades, - the weapons nicely stretched.

- All standing stiff and straight, - their purpose will be matched.

- We have to guard ourselves - against each foreign man.

- And block his penetration - of our own terrain.

Forward, my comrades, the weapon nicely stretched.

All standing stiff and straight, their purpose will be matched.

We have to guard ourselves against each foreign man.

And block his penetration of our own terrain.

German pussies they should be only our possession,

German pussies are not for everyone.

Never bother our procession,

'cause just a German cock is capable to really get these pussies on.

'Cause just a German cock is capable to really get our pussies on.

It's different for a woman.

I will still love you even if you have a few wrinkles.

Even if I look like this?

That's how we're driven into a compulsion to comply.

Youth and strength and spotlessness. All that shit.

Wrinkles away with Wrinkle Scare.

Available now on special offer at Beauty Palace. 50g for 9,99 €.

- Should I order some? - HELO, no.

I'll change the settings.

Well, it's your decision.

Sometimes I'm afraid of getting old as well.

Not because of wrinkles, but because of the power.

As long as you're young, you have the power to dream.

This power is being destroyed.

You accept your circumstances.

It's called becoming a realist.

I don't want to be a realist.

Dreams keep us alive.

And dreams devour us.

Quote from Roland Reber.

Roland Reber is a German director, writer and actor.

- After the acting school - HELO, stop.

I turn the shitty thing off.

It's not that easy. When you

Don't turn off. Don't turn off.

Don't turn off. Don't turn off.

So.

. Also turns off the light, 't-he Wi-Fi, the freezer

all things actually.

If we love each other,

if we build an island where we can dream,

we will never grow old.

You only get old inside here.

No person is an island.

I wrote a new poem.

Read it to me later. I have to go now.

When you turn on HELO, the lights will turn on too.

Bye.

Bye.

When the power left them on the long journey of their desire,

they wouldn't leave each other anymore, because they couldn't do it anymore.

They were afraid of the lonely shores.

Rather die together, that's what they said.

Love is like a river,

in which you can swim,

but also drown.

Die, you dirty cunt.

Hollow slut, you should be shot.

You should be thrown into a harvester.

Isn't it possible to lock this woman in a labour camp?

Get properly fucked, then drown yourself in the loo.

In the last show, my experiment "unwrapped" was shown.

She got out of the car and was not wearing any upper well, naked.

Great. Nipple freedom for everyone.

Nasty. You could see absolutely everything.

As long as you can look away there's nothing wrong with it.

And all of it in public.

Will this be broadcasted?

Can you cut out my face? If my colleagues got to see this

What started as a self-experiment, ended in a shit-tsunami on social media.

- Die, you dirty cunt. - Fucking cunt.

- Bitch. - Ugly, you have no value.

- You are a shame! - You are a shame!

Shame. Shame. Shame.

Die, you dirty cunt.

Everyone has the right to freely express and share their opinions

in words, writing and images.

You should be thrown into a harvester!

I'll smash your skull, whore!

Whore.

Just wait!

Whore!

Human dignity is inviolable.

Old wrinkled skin.

I throw up thanks to some comments here.

Whore.

Whore!

There should only be comments that you would as well say to someones face.

First think, then comment.

That's why we're starting a call to all hate net commentators:

flashmob "Talk to Patsy".

Let's talk to each other about this subject, we're happy to argue.

But face to face.

Hey, guys.

I am the one with the mask.

I'm nothing and I own nothing.

Nobody knows my face.

But soon I will be world-famous.

Then I'll take off the mask, and everyone will know me.

I'm going to be a world-famous superstar.

O watching now

Video recording begins.

Where do we get if everyone hangs out their tits or wiener in the future.

Do-gooder, too, must follow the rules.

This naked tastelessness was an insult to decent people.

For that, I'm destroying you now, Patsy.

O watching now

Even Patsy should show respect for feelings of others.

Not everyone wants to see something like this unasked.

Male nipples in public are allowed, but female ones must be covered.

Are women's nipples more offensive than men's?

Such things traumatize.

Yes, of course, a naked women is traumatizing. You are way over the top.

O watching now

I want to inspire you out there with my action.

Take it into your own hands. Don't wait for the shitty politicians.

I'm now streaming all of this live on Facebook. You can be there directly.

Not fake, but real and uncensored.

This is the glorious age of video.

Bang, Patsy! Bang! Bang!

O watching now

Now I will destroy you!

- Stop. - Let me through.

We're discussing here.

Keep your trap shut. Fuck off!

Are you ok?

Stop it! He's already lying on the floor.

That really happens now./ Awesome video./ No mercy.

Do you have to show that? / Then just look away. / Slap-bang!

Stop it now!

The flute.

O watching now

Well, then I'm not going to be a world-famous superstar.

He wanted it, he got it.

Wild people only understand one language.

I'm shocked.

Exactly this shit I like to see.

I'm driving with my Dora and Dora is driving with me.

Above us shines the aurora, and here below shine we.

I carry my light, I don't feel afraid.

La bimmel, la bammel, la boom.

Her light is gone, she's finally home.

La bimmel, la bammel, la boom.

La bimmel, la bammel, la boom.

What's this, you're leaving us?

Yes.

Hasn't it stopped your attack?

Brazil. Land in the sun.

Idiot.

Ok. Are you ready?

I don't feel like. Must write something.

What do you have to write?

Yes what?

I want to sell all my scripts. I need money. For Brazil.

He's crazy.

But today is our club day.

I've got a proposal for you.

I'll go to the club and pick up the people.

Then we can make ourselves comfortable at yours.

You can keep on writing and everyone is happy.

For my sake.

No chaos, I know. We'll bring everything we need with us.

It was an extreme action, your flashmob.

More punches than talking. Well, see you later.

What's all that about?

I'm going to Brazil. With you.

You write plays and you can't sell them. Good.

You write poems that get every good- humoured person depressed. Good.

You opened this cultural pub here that no one wanted to visit. Good.

I'm being patient, because I feel a strong affection for you for inexplicable reasons.

But Brazil?

Should we swim?

No. We'll sail. With my boat.

You won't even get over Lake Starnberg with that.

I'll sell all my texts and buy an ocean yacht.

Good. Sell them first.

At the moment you're still living on my earnings, Mr. Writer.

I need to get out of here. This land is not for a poet.

One day, the poet wondered what he really was.

Reflecting on this problem, he forgot his work.

So, he became a poet.

Hey, guys.

I am the one with the mask.

I'm nothing and I've nothing.

Nobody knows my face.

But soon I will be world-famous.

Then I'll take off the mask, and everyone will know me.

I'm going to be a world-famous comedian.

I wrote this piece myself.

I'll start with the final scene.

Keep watching!

I'll start now.

Ohhhhhhhh.

Ahhhhhhhh.

All these years you've mocked and ridiculed me.

You humiliated me because my art uncovered you,

exposed you.

I was the cruel, incorruptible mirror of your misdeed.

Hahahahaha.

Laughing, I throw it away, my life.

There, take it.

It's worth nothing to me anymore.

You've bent my soul

like a beautiful dancer.

O watching now

Well, then I'm not going to be a world-famous comedian.

Attention! People are standing at the front door. Do we want to let them in?

Brazil! Look what I baked for you.

Hi. Hello.

My cookies are with a bit

Look who we were able to convince to come.

Farewell party, right, Frank?

Hopefully it doesn't end for you like it did for Jürgen.

- When do you finally start? - Leave me alone.

You got your will, you are here. Now let me write, too.

That's what we agreed on, Lola.

All right, big master.

Cookies. Home-baked cookies.

I have a headache. I'm going to lie down.

Typical.

First you bring along the pack and then you piss off.

HELO, start the playlist.

Playlist started.

Get well soon, Patsy.

Are you really leaving?

My tired body wants to rest where sunlight isn't faded

and mend my stupid soul at best where palm trees keep it shaded.

I will forget your hate and fight of which I am so stricken

and with a friend I might invite him out for chicken.

It's useful for self-optimization. The watch measures my steps.

Today, I'm missing lots of steps.

At 50, you don't need to be perfect, you just need to enjoy live.

Even at 70, you can be like at 30.

Yes. But only for half an hour a day.

Move!

Everything in life can be summarized in three words:

Beer. Dude. Wicked.

Wicked.

There are a few "herbs" in them.

Been

Photos will follow!

Been

Dude.

Wicked.

We want to be joyful and happy

and be happy

with and without wrinkles.

With and without wrinkles.

Been

Why is my hand so empty

when I hold yours?

Because you hold on to your fear instead of my hand.

Have you tried these?

This time with "herbs".

Or is your credit of calories already used up for today?

Exercise!

Don't let a watch determine your life.

Silence!

You slipped/Emergency call./I'm fine.

Enough for now, my dear.

- WTF is in the cookies! - Make some videos!

Jürgen travelled the world for weeks.

He wrote cards to us from all corners of the earth.

If you feel lonely and alone always remember: you don't need to.

You don't need to.

Once, I drove through the Black Forest and saw Jürgen sitting in front of a cottage.

I'll let you in.

At home there was a postcard in my mailbox.

"Sun greetings from Brazil. Jürgen."

I've to get fucked again

from the crowd of princes.

His cover was blown then.

From the crowd of princes.

Jürgen never left Germany.

He only went to the Black Forest.

Where might our Jana be?

He gave his postcards to a flight attendant.

Dude.

In Hamburg or in Munich?

We all pooled together and gave him a holiday in Greece.

It was his first stay abroad.

Wicked.

She will fulfill them right away,

He died in a fatal accident in Athens.

He hadn't sent any postcards.

We're a very horny crowd

... never ever worry ...

My death is like a butterfly, approaching from the distance.

So, don't you be a foolish guy and live your life to the full.

- To Jürgen. - Beer.

She will fulfill our desires.

Kiss my back.

I'm driving with my trolley and my trolley with me.

And I'll have another Schnaps, that's better than a beer.

Today I've got something to celebrate.

Have a look.

That's what I call a dream corpse.

It arrives here properly packaged.

See the difference.

Normally they just chuck a green cloth over them, done.

Here it has this white hygienic bag.

That's dead chic, isn't it?

Should introduce them everywhere.

I know, it costs a bit more: 3,50 €.

Ok, appearance doesn't matter anymore, right?

But, if you go to heaven, the way we've been taught at school,

one in his ugly green cloth, the other one in this beautiful hygienic bag.

And?

The gatekeeper says: "You in your filthy sheet - goodbye!

Beautiful white sack - come in."

Understand?

He's not going to heaven because of damn 3,50 €.

That's what you call the welfare state.

But I took precautions.

Understand?

I went to the staff council and said:

"Folks, have 3,50€.

Should I lie on this trolley one day, then please the white bag."

Understand?

Brains.

I slept 2 hours too long today.

Yesterday, all those calories

Did your tracker tell you that?

I'm also 88 steps short by now. I'll have to run them afterwards.

You can also overdo it.

Some people feed only on light.

If everyone did that, it would soon be dark everywhere.

Wicked.

Take a look.

Haha. Just laugh at me.

Billie with many pillies. Haha.

Pimp your body app. Hahaha.

Since I was 35, my hair started to fall out.

There's only so much left when it's wet.

I like long hair.

I tried to keep it long for as long as possible.

Now it won't work anymore.

No matter where I look, there's a black hole.

A deep black abyss. Family, friends,

work, partner - nothing.

I even have hardly any show.

I've only been exercising my whole life. I invested everything into this body.

And now? Nothing.

Well, who wants to see a bald bunny.

I don't lose that much hair anymore now. There's hardly any left.

Fear eat hair up.

What?

A film by Fassbinder.

But it was called something different, I think.

You can join me in the retirement sharing-flat.

A place has become vacant right now.

Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who's the fairest in this land?

I'm Lola with the suntan oil,

without pills, I'm not longer beautiful.

Men become more interesting, strong and are called complete.

Women just get saggy, and then they are rotten meat.

When your fourtieth year is over,

a woman's as good as dead.

It would be best to seek an early grave.

No alcohol, no nicotine, no ray of sunshine will be pardoned.

I need my beauty sleep, otherwise I'll be punished.

I'm Lola with the midlife crisis,

and I'm in need as I get more wrinkles.

Hear my last wishes: I need more pills!

Then I send nice greetings to my old crow's feet.

Elastane or collagen, what should I take today?

Hyaluronic acid or silicone, I've taken it all already.

Lola. Lola. Lola.

It's like the wheel keeps spinning forever.

As if there's no end.

Just a go forth,

a go to the finish.

Just before the end, it's like a beginning.

There's also this threat of an afterlife.

As if one hadn't been through enough.

As if the level of torment wasn't at its maximum.

As if one suffering had to follow the other.

When I'm dead, I want to be nothing.

Just as I was nothing before.

So why be sad about death?

Then I would have to be sad about the time before I was born?

Because nothing is nothing,

before and after.

So why mourn?

Hello.

I'm just so lonely, because I'm alone.

And again: a partner for every single person and lots of entertainment

for us.

Hello.

I studied International Business Management.

And I thought about what I would do next.

Go in the economic business or do something completely different.

I have a lot of energy, and I want to share it with others.

That's how I arrived at my Happy Day.

Here in me, there I am.

- And I know who I am. - And I know who I am.

- And I know what I am. - And I know what I am.

- I am free. - I am free.

- I am myself. - I am myself.

- I am strong. - I am strong.

Yes, and for 9,95 € a month, he'll share his Happy Day with you all.

There still remains something from your studies, Richie.

I'm able to motivate anyone. Everyone.

I've seen someone start out as a nobody, and he's a big star today. It's all there.

Yes!

You just have to make the jump.

I've changed so many lives through my Happy Day.

The young ladies are already salivating.

Do you have any negative sides, Richie?

I understand.

Do you want to tell anything else, Richie?

I'm driving a big BMW, if anyone is interested.

Here's the today's challenge for our Happy Boy Richie:

Sabine Brückner from Regensburg, 500 € for you, Mrs. Brückner,

wants to know if your Happy Day can also change this life.

Hey, guys.

I am the one with the mask.

I'm nothing and I own nothing.

Nobody knows my face.

But shortly I will be world-famous.

Then I'll take off the mask, and everyone will know me.

I'm going to be a world-famous suicide.

I am today's face of death.

This is the one with the mask who's looking for meaning.

Richie, your job is to stop the one with the mask from committing suicide.

Prevent the jump, so to speak.

Yes!

Can you do that too, Richie?

For our younger viewers, same applies again:

please, dear kids, don't imitate this.

Vote for your single person

Look at me. Look at me!

Look at me!

We're now doing Happy Day together.

Happy Day. Happy Day.

Happy Day. Happy Day.

Happy Day. Happy Day.

Happy Death. Happy Death.

Repeat my words.

Here in me, there I am.

And I know who I am.

- I know who I am. - Great!

I know what I am.

Right!

But I will never tell you.

Video transmission is online.

Watching now

watching now

watching now

That's the meaning of life?

Yes, you're amazed.

Me too.

HELO, numb nuts, start audio recording.

Hello Frank, audio recording has started.

What would happen to ten-year-old

if he didn't have Neymar as an example,

but a boxer instead

who can not only give but also take.

He wouldn't learn to cheat.

He would learn to endure.

"Do the Neymar":

painful wrangling. Dramatic ground roll.

Pretending a foul to gain an advantage.

Good bye, poet Frank.

Mask. Mask. Mask.

Mask. Mask. Mask.

Watching now

When the Aswan Dam was built,

the temple of Abu Simbel was removed

and rebuilt on a higher level.

Smaller temples now lie ten metres

below the surface of the water.

What a pity.

Why I'm telling this now?

I don't know.

Hello.

Why so sad, my friends? Sooner or later the time has come.

There's still time for some merriment and cheerfulness,

for laughing is the gateway to eternity.

You don't have to prove anything more, for even a king dies quite banal.

What someone was, doesn't matter in death,

for very real is only death, and it hits everyone one day.

Let death hug you tightly,

then you'll finally be free

from the fear of life, of love, of pain,

let yourself fall and then it's over.

You have to die first

otherwise relatives can't inherit.

Come, dare him, the very last step,

no looking back,

you die

a little bit every day all your life.

Hey, guys.

I am the one without the mask.

Hopefully my challenge has pleased you and there were really many likes.

Many things have puzzled me recently and this I wanted to tell you.

About learning language.

For understanding, say those who teach, serves the handling of the language.

For peace, say those who are still without wounds.

For death,

say those who hold at the grave, with this very language, the funeral speech.

So, recognize that is good just from the ground up,

as nothing seems to be bad just from the ground up.

Review your language.

And renew it, if necessary.

Bye.

Goodbye Mask, goodbye Mask,

it's over now and done.

Everything must find an ending,

you're not alone.

Goodbye Mask, goodbye Mask,

you have got to go.

In Narhalla, we will all meet again somehow.

Blissful and tearful, with thought-teeming brain.

Hoping and fearing in passionate pain.

Now shouting in triumph, now sunken in despair.

With love's thrilling rapture what joy can compare.

Goodbye Mask, goodbye Mask,

it's over now and done.

Everything must find an ending,

you're not alone.

Goodbye Mask, goodbye Mask,

you have got to go.

In Narhalla, we will all meet again somehow.

La bimmel, la bammel, la boom.

Written and directed by

Ciao and bye for today,

we hope the cowards all have stayed away.

You've been our guests at the Cabaret of Death,

faces of death as a symphony.

This was Roland Rebers Cabaret of Death, live from the Old Printing House.

Next time,

with the sexy Kristi, the sad Jochen, the sweet Annette, Ludger the Willy Lord,

the indeterminate Joe and Roland the Dream Prince,

in Roland Rebers Hotel of Lost Dreams.

All together!

Ciao and bye for today,

we hope the cowards all have stayed away.

You've been our guests at the Cabaret of Death,

faces of death as a symphony.

Funding by the creativity and engagement of all participants.

Thanks to all.

Can we start again?

So, now would come the chord.