All language subtitles for Ordinary Love 2019_track3_eng

[piano intro]

[woman] ♪ The snow is snowing

♪ The wind is blowing ♪

♪ But I can weather the storm

♪ What do I care
How much it may storm? ♪

♪ I've got my love
To keep me warm ♪

♪ I can't remember ♪

♪ A worse December ♪

♪ Just watch
Those icicles form ♪

♪ What do I care
If icicles form? ♪

♪ I've got my love
To keep me warm ♪

♪ Off with my overcoat ♪

♪ Off with my glove ♪

♪ I need no overcoat ♪

♪ I'm burning with love ♪

♪ My heart's on fire ♪

♪ The flame grows higher ♪

♪ So I will weather the storm

♪ What do I care
How much it may storm? ♪

♪ I've got my love
To keep me warm ♪

[woman laughs]

[man, woman on TV,
indistinct]

How does the Fitbit
know you're walking?

Because your arms
are moving.

Say they weren't.

It's on your arm.
Who walks without
moving their arm?

Well, duh.
Someone who's
had a stroke.

And I know
what you're gonna say,
so both arms.

A stroke?
Both arms?

Yes.

Put it
on your ankle.

You'd think that, but it's not
in the instructions, is it?

When are you gonna
take the decorations down?

When are you gonna
take 'em down?

It's your job.

I put them up,
you take them down.

You put them up,
I take them down.

Just add "baby" to that,
and it could be
the title of a song.

Hmm.

You put them up,
I take them down, baby.

[chuckles]

You should write it.

I will.

Are you gonna get
in the shower first?

No.

Gonna have a beer.

Well, that defeats
the whole purpose
of walking.

-No, it doesn't.
-How does it not?

You're out walking
to get a bit fitter,
lose a bit of weight.

How does the beer
add to that?

The walking allows me
to have the beer.

Oh, right.

Plus, more to the point,
I'm a grown man.

If I want to sit
in my own house
and have a beer

after putting
a lot of effort into
a good strenuous walk,

that is what
I shall do.

[chuckles]

[water running]

[man on TV] ...after a thrillin
3-2 victory for United
the last time they played...

[woman] Tom,
can you come up here?

Yes, sweetness?

Feel my left breast.

Just the one?
This is a new approach.

Just feel it.

What, here?

Yeah.

Can you feel anything?

A lump?

I feel something.

A lump?

Lump-ish.

It's a lump.

Could be anything.

It can't be anything. It can
only be one of a few things.

This could be nothing.

Well...

Go to the doctor's
in the morning.

Yeah.

It will be fine.

Lumps, bumps,
pains, aches.

You're of an age,
kid.

I can go now?
I've done enough groping?

[laughs]

Unless, of course...

You've done enough.

Magic touch.

[chimes]

[man on TV, indistinct]

What I'm feeling,
the shape of it
is quite distinct.

That would suggest to me
that it's a cyst.

You had a mammogram
a while ago,
didn't you?

Yes, about
eight months ago.

To be on the safe side,
we'll arrange an appointment
for you at the hospital.

-Okay.
-This is just precautionary.

I think it's a cyst.

All right.

How's Tom?

[woman] Oh, the same.

He's Tom all the time.

Do you notice
anything different
about the soup?

There is.
What is it?

You tell me.

Is this a quiz?
If I get it right,
do I get another bowl of soup?

For once in your life,
can you be bloody normal?

I am normal. Very normal.
Let's see if I get this.

I want you to get it right.
That means what I did worked.

I'm gonna get it wrong
on purpose now.

Just say it, idiot.

-Worcestershire sauce.
-Correct.

-I'm good, baby.
-I'm good.

[letter box rattles]

Your man is getting
later and later.

What would happen
if you were waiting
on something?

I was waiting on
something.

Oh, right.

Hospital appointment.

When?

[sighs] Um...

Next week.

Great.
The sooner the better.

Yeah. No, no, I know.
It's good.

[engine starts]

I don't know
what the situation
is here.

Do I go in with you?
Do I wait? What?

-It's a mammogram.
-I know.

Well, they won't
allow you into that.

I know, but after?

Oh, I don't know.
If you have to wait,
you can have a cup of tea.

I'm going off tea.

You know
what I mean.

It will be all right.

I know.

They charge you
for parking.

Even if you're
a patient?

I think so.

Everything's money.

I know.

[chattering]

[TV playing,
indistinct]

[nurse] And this
is the little biopsy,
okay?

And we're going in now.

One, two, three.

[groans]

Hold on.
We're in the area now.

And that...
It's coming.

One, two, three.

[loud click]

Ow!

[nurse]
Super. Well done.

I thought you said
you were going
off tea.

Yeah.
Just thinking about it.

No definite decision
has been taken as yet.

Maybe we should
both stop.

Cut out caffeine
altogether.

Why?

Why you?

Taste of it.
Sometimes it makes me
feel a bit sick.

I was thinking
healthier.

No, that would be
just one more thing
for you--

For me to what?

For you to hit me
with a stick about.

Very good.

I should hit you
with something.

[sighs]

There's a lot of waiting
in hospitals, huh?

I don't like it.

I don't like
all the sick people
either.

How can that be
a good thing,

putting all
the sick people
together?

How is that gonna
make anybody better?

Depressing.

I don't think
I could do it.

If you had to do it,
you'd have to do it.

Hospitals
remind me of death.

Lovely.

You know what
I mean.

So, if I have to come in,
you won't come
and visit me?

They're not gonna
bring you in
just for a cyst.

All I know is
it felt serious.

That's because
of all the other
sick people around you.

You see the nonsense
you talk?

How do you
get through life?

All right.
You're still here with me.

I'm just doing that
out of spite.

Right back at you,
kid.

I realize it's been
a very long day
for both of you.

We would have liked
to have been able
to give you a firm answer,

but we can't tell yet
what we're dealing with.

What are all the tests
about then?

Tom.

Yeah, I know.

I realize
it's very frustrating.

We found some cells
that are concerning.

On a scale of one to five,
one being it isn't cancerous
and five being it is,

at the moment,
we're sitting at three.

Do you wanna go out
for something
to eat tonight?

Thai or something?

Um...

No, I've already
taken the chops out
for dinner.

I just thought...

I know.
I'm all right.

I know.
Baby, it wasn't...

Breaks the day up.

No, I want
to cook the chops.

She doesn't know.

Oh.

You'd think that would be
the type of thing
they would know.

Did you tell her
your stroke scenario?

Oh, yes.

We need
tomato juice.

That's
the next aisle.

[Tom] I know that.
I'm just saying we need it.

You drink too much
tomato juice.

That stuff
made from concentrate
is full of sugar.

They used to have
the stuff that
isn't concentrate,

but they don't
have it anymore.

I like tomato juice.

[chuckles]

Why don't you just
eat more tomatoes?

What's wrong with you?
Eat more tomatoes!

[woman]
I'm just saying.

We should buy a juicer.
Then you could make
your own tomato juice.

What's the chances
of that happening?

It would just sit there
beside a bowl
of rotten tomatoes

and a carton
of tomato juice.

Well, it wouldn't
if you'd use it.

Hold on till
I get this
right here.

We're having
some type
of an argument

about the frequency
of me using a juicer
we don't own.

No, I'm just saying,
if you had it,
then you should use it.

Aye, very good.

What's gonna happen
if I've got cancer?

You don't know
that you do.

If.

She said on a scale
of one to five,
it's three.

I don't think
she would have said that
if it was gonna be five.

Three is closer to five
than it is to one.

No, it isn't.

It isn't, but in your head,
three is closer to five
than it is to one.

I don't know why,
but you know
what I mean. It is.

It isn't.

Well, what's gonna happen
if I've got cancer?

There's no point
in thinking like that now.

You don't know.
You can't do anything
until you know.

I know.

I know I've got it.

So you're
a doctor now?

You don't have
to be a doctor to know
things like that.

Yes, you do.

[sighs]

I know that three is closer
to five, and I know
I've got breast cancer.

Okay.
Well, what are you
gonna do then?

I don't know.

Correct. Because
you can't do anything
because you don't know.

Well, that's not
an answer.

Joan...

If you have breast cancer,
which I don't think
you do...

if you have
breast cancer,

we will do whatever
has to be done,

the two of us.

That's what's
gonna happen.

I have to go
to the toilet.

Don't be long.
I might be called.

I'll be as long as it takes.

[man]
Mrs. Joan Thompson?

Joan?

Yes.

Sorry. I'm just waiting
on my husband.

He's at the toilet.

Of course.

There he is.

[doctor] We've been able
to look at your biopsy results,

and I'm afraid it's not the news
we were hoping for.

It does show
that there is cancer.

We'll talk today
about the road ahead.

I think we should
start chemotherapy
in the next weeks.

This would mean
a first surgery

to remove the lump
and any lymph glands involved,

followed by chemo.

To reduce the risk of recurrence
in your situation,

we'll discuss a further surgery
to remove both breasts.

And, of course,
your options for reconstruction.

[man on TV, indistinct]

[sighs]

Joan.

Joan!

Come on, kid. No point
in lying there. Come on.
Let's get you up to bed.

All right.
Good man.

All right.
One, two, three.
Hup!

[Joan] Oh.

[Tom] That's it.

[gasps]

[whispers]
I love you.

This is gonna
sound strange.

I'm sure it won't.

I'm glad our Debbie
isn't here
to go through this.

I mean, I miss her
every day, but...

this would
break her heart.

Look at me.

Tom.

Joan, look at me.

Don't make me cry.

There isn't a moment
I won't be there with you.

I know.

I'm gonna torture you.

You know that, don't you?

You torture me now.

Good.

You know what
to expect then.

I'm frightened.

I know, kid.
I know.

Every moment.

Go on, eat your toast
before it gets cold.

We should've left earlier.
It's an operation.
You can't be late.

We won't be late.

-It's only a fish.
-You still have to feed it.

-Flush it.
-Flush you.

Very good.
[chuckles]

How long does it take?

How long
does what take?

The operation.

Oh, I don't know.

Hours.

You've got plenty
of time to go to the grave.

-I wanna be there
when you get out.
-Tom, it's her birthday.

We always go to the grave
on her birthday.
You'll have time.

Tell her I'm sorry
I'm not there,

but don't tell her why.

Joan--

That's the way
I have to think about it.

Am I not
allowed to do that?

If I was there I'd say it,
but I'm not there,
so you can say it.

If you were there,
you wouldn't have to say
you weren't there.

Tom, everything
isn't a joke!

Joan, she's dead.

I know.

How can I not
know that?

Just do it, Tom, please.
Just do it.

Sorry.

Of course I will.

Sorry.

It's all right.
It's fine.

Right.

Yeah.

It'll be over in no time.
I'll be back here
waiting for you.

I know.

[chuckles]

All right,
kid.

See you soon.

Yeah.

Go on then.

[female voice]
Door closing.

[sighs]
Happy birthday, love.

Your mother says she's sorry
she can't be here since...

[sighs]

Look, Debbie,
this is...

this is...
this is crazy.
This...

This isn't
how I see you.
You're not here.

All I'm doing here
is talking to a bit
of stone.

Your mother
has breast cancer.

She told me
not to tell you that.

And I can understand why.

She... she doesn't
want you to worry.

But I imagine if you're
looking down on us, you heard
that conversation, so...

It's just helping her
get through it, that's all.

Protecting you
makes her stronger.

She found out
about a month ago.

She's having
an operation today
to remove the lumps.

So they'll know more
after that, how serious
the situation is.

I mean,
it's serious now.

I mean,
cancer is cancer.

I just...

I just can't tell her
how frightened I am.

Just got to continue on
as normal.

I suppose that's my job
in all this.

That's all you can do.

I couldn't have
the both of you gone.

I'd just be...

adrift.

How do you say to someone,
"Don't die"?

Everything okay
with you today?

Yes, fine, thank you.

[nurse]
Everything is running
to schedule,

so you should all
be brought down in order.

You'd think they'd know
which one they were
going to work on

without having to put
a mark on it.

I'm starving.

So am I.

Me too.

They should be able to give you
a tablet that makes you feel
not starving.

Or a vodka.

Here we go.
More stitches somewhere.

[woman]
Good luck.

Good luck.

Shouldn't be
long now.

Have you had chemo
before?

Twice.

What's it like?

Second one
wasn't so bad.

First one was rough.

It doesn't last,
and you get through it.

Sometimes you feel
like you won't,
but you do.

Take every tablet
they give you and more.

And always remember,
when you're at your worst,

what you're going through
is better than
the alternative.

-Good luck.
-And you.

You smell lovely.

I try my best.

I was able to remove
the whole tumor.

Now, it wasn't
two lumps.

They were joined,
so we consider that
to be one lump.

Right.

Also, because
the lymph nodes
were involved,

I had to remove
13 of those.

Oh.

And we'll also have
to check it hasn't
spread anywhere else.

Where?

We'll do
a bone scan.

We also need to check
your liver and lungs
with a CT scan.

Was the lump the size
that normally means
it's spread?

There is
no normal here.

We got it.

That all
looks good.

What'd she say?

Um, they got it all,
but it was bigger
than they thought.

Bone scan?

Yes.

Oh.

That's normal.

[air pump whirs]

[flushes]

[sobs]

Excuse me.

Can you kill a goldfish
by overfeeding them?

I don't know.

I've only started
working here.

I only know
about rabbits.

Are they old?

No.

I don't want the wife
to know the one
we had died.

Was she fond
of it?

No.
She hated it.

You all right
to walk?

Fine.

Bye.
I'm on my way now.

[woman] See you.

Thank you.

And what?

You got everything
means you got everything.

No, they did a bone scan
to see if the cancer
had spread to my bones.

And that was clear.

Correct.
But now you have to get
an upper-body scan.

Yes.

Why?

Because she wants to check
my liver and my lungs.

Why didn't she check
your lungs when she was
removing the lump?

I don't know.
She can't just
put her hand in,

move things
out of the way
and take a peek.

How do you know
they don't do that?
Are you a doctor now?

Stop talking stupid.

Get cancer and end up
knowing everything
about medicine.

All I know is
there's something
they're not telling us.

There's nothing
they're not telling us.
Why are you doing this?

Up to the damn hospital
again and again and again.

Well, you don't have
to come with me
all the time.

What would you do
on your own?

I'd do what I always do.

I sit and wait
and then I get poked
and prodded at.

And what if
something happens
and I'm not there? No.

Just drive the car.

Aye, just drive the car.
That's me.

Just drive the car.

[Joan] One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

Twenty.

[on speaker]
Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

Twenty-four.

She's been away too long.
That's not good.

Not good what way?

Because
if it was good news,
she'd be right back.

So you think it's bad news
and she doesn't wanna tell you
and she's waiting out there?

That's what I think.

Oh, I think
it's good news,
so she's in no rush.

No, if it was good news,
you'd be in a rush.

That's the whole point.
You'd want to be
telling the person.

It'd be cruel
if you had good news
to wait to tell someone.

It'd be kind
if you had bad news
to wait to tell them.

She's been away too long.
It's bad news.

[doctor] Sorry.
That took longer
than I thought.

I was called away
to another patient.

Well, good news.
The scan is all clear.

So what does
that mean?

It means
we've removed the lump
and the lymph nodes,

and the cancer
hasn't spread
anywhere else.

So, it's gone?

As far as
we're concerned, yes.

And the next thing
is to refer you
to an oncologist

to discuss chemotherapy
and other therapies.

Why chemo?
You just said
it was gone.

There still might be
tiny cancerous cells

that we can't detect
through scanning.

So... when you said
the cancer is gone,
that may not be true?

Tom, don't--

I just want to get
everything clear.

And so you should.

The cancer that was there
has been removed

and it hasn't spread
any further.

And Joan is now ready
for chemotherapy.

Thank you, Doctor.
That's very clear.
Thank you.

From now on,
when we're at the hospital,
I don't want you talking.

If I didn't talk,
we wouldn't
know anything.

We already knew.
We'd already
been told.

It's just you
being you.

Cancer-free,
she said.

Yes. I knew
what she meant.

In situations
like this, you have
to be exact.

Oh, I'm sorry, Tom.
Are we in a hospital
or are we in a courtroom?

It's not
black and white.
The world's gray.

It's nothing to do
with black and white.

Cancer-free
is different
from not cancer-free.

Hmm.
Are you cancer free?

Very good.

"As far as we know."

I knew what
she meant.

So from now on,
no more talk from you.

It's to do
with me anyway.
I'll ask.

It's to do with you.
You'll ask.

Yes. That was
embarrassing.

Embarrassing?

Yes.

You wanna
sit here?

Yeah.

You see that man
in the blue shirt
over there?

Yeah.

I think he was
our Debbie's teacher
at primary school.

Oh, right enough.

Yes, arrogant.

Yeah.

I'm gonna talk
to him.

What for?

What for?
There's something
the matter with you.

Just to talk to him.
Tell him who I am,
that I recognized him.

He looks alone.

Sorry.

I just saw you
sitting here.
I think I know you.

Did you used to teach
my daughter, Debbie Thompson,
in primary school?

I did.

I was very sad to hear
what happened to Debbie.

Oh.

It's Joan.

Peter.

Debbie was
a delightful child.

Pleasure to teach.

Hmm. Do you
still teach?

Not at the moment.

Oh, please, sit down.

Are you
on your own?

Oh, my partner, Steve,
is downstairs
in the café.

He gets
very emotional.

It's difficult for him.

Hmm. I see that
in my husband.

Right. So you have
the buzzer?

Yes. Yeah.

Right.

Is this your
first time here?

No, second.

How's your treatment
going?

I'm... I'm terminal.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah. They say
if I take the chemo,

we'll have
a while longer.

What... What are you
here for?

Breast cancer.

Has the chemo
been difficult?

Difficult enough.
The nausea.

That might not
be difficult for you.
Each treatment's different.

They say that,
anyway.

I don't wanna lose my hair.
No hair at my age,
I think I'd look like a man.

[chuckles]
For me they said
maybe, maybe not.

I do not want
to be buried bald.

Actually,
that's not true.

Being buried bald
isn't the issue.

Lying in me coffin
with the lid off it,
bald, for all to see.

Not that there will be
anybody there, but that's not
the point. Just in case.

I think you'd look
dignified.

Dignified?
No, horrified.

[both chuckle]

Well, you might not
lose it.

Whenever they say
"you might,"
it means you will.

We should get that printed
on T-shirts. Wear them
to the chemo sessions.

[buzzer buzzing]

Well... there we go.

Okay.

Well...

It's lovely
to meet you, Peter.

I'm glad
I came over to talk.

Yeah.
Lovely to meet you,
Joan.

I take it
that's him then?

Yeah.
His name's Peter.

Did he remember
our Debbie?

Of course he did.

Talked of her
really fondly.

Is he still
arrogant?

Huh. No.

He's got
terminal cancer.

Oh.

That's not good.

No.

His partner, Steve,
I think he said
he was called,

he sits downstairs.
He can't come up here.

Yeah.

I can imagine that would be
difficult for some people,
all right.

I hope I bump
into him again.

I'm sure you will.

He doesn't look gay.

No.

But then you
don't look...

Easy, tiger.

I was gonna say
kind.

There's not many
of us left.

Hmm.

I couldn't say stupid
because you do
look stupid.

Living with you too long
has me looking like that.

[buzzer buzzing]

Oh!

Here we go.

Here we go.

[retching]

It's all right,
it's all right.

Oh, God.

Is your head sore?
Shall I get
a cold cloth?

No, I'm freezing.

Blanket?
Want a blanket?

No, it'll be all right.
It'll go in a minute.

Shall I take this...
this basin away and clean it out
or is there more?

There will be more, but you
can clean it out anyway.

Shall I go and just
get another basin?

No, just... just clean
that one out.

Right, right, right.

[breathes heavily]

[groans]

[woman]
Sarah has started a project
at nearby Fillingham Court.

She's teaching the residents
about gardening

to inspire them
to make the most
of their communal areas

and brighten up
their balconies.

What rubbish bin
goes out tonight?
Brown or gray?

I'm not sure.

What went out
last week?

If I knew what went out
last week, I'd know what
one goes out tonight.

Think it's gray.

Just look what
the neighbors put out.

I know it's summer,
but what's the point

of having a bin
for garden waste
during the winter

when there isn't
any garden waste?

Don't know.

Well,
you should know.

That could be
vital information
at some point.

Vital? Really?

Yes, Joan.
Vital.

Why don't you go
for a walk?

No.

No, I'm staying.
Watch TV.

I haven't numbed
my brain enough
today.

Hmm.

All right?

It's coming out
in clumps now.

What do you want
to do?

I don't know.

Look,
there's no...

No, I know.

I'll do it.
Do you want me to do it?

[laughs]

What?
Where's the scissors?

In the drawer.

Right.

Do you wanna
stand or sit?

When have you ever seen
anyone getting their hair cut
standing up?

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Okay?

Yeah.

[chuckles]

Stop.

So, what do you
and your hairdresser
talk about?

You and what
an idiot you are.

An idiot who has
a pair of scissors
in his hand.

Any particular style
today, madam?

[chuckles] Beehive.

Showing your age
there, kid.

A beehive it is.

Ta-da!

[chuckles]

What do you
think?

You look
beautiful.

But then I never really
liked your hair
to begin with.

It feels weird.

You're a star, kid.

Absolute star.

[TV playing, indistinct]

[announcer speaking,
indistinct]

[breathing heavily]

[TV continues, indistinct]

[breathing heavily]

[TV continues, indistinct]

Did you
write it down?

No.

What do you mean,
no?

I gave you
a notebook and a pen
especially for that.

I didn't
write it down.

So, you don't know
what tablet to take?

No. Just guess.

You can't guess, Joan.
They're too strong.

Tom, please.
The pain in my legs
and feet is...

I'm in agony.
Just give me a tablet.
It's one of three.

Just pick one.
I don't care which.

You were told
to write this down.

Oh, what?

Because I didn't,
you're gonna punish me?

Whose pain is this?
Who's going through this?
Me or you?

You sit downstairs
drinking beer while
I'm up here in pain.

Excuse me.
Everything you need,
I get.

Well, get me a tablet.

I don't know which one.

Don't give me
that "poor me" garbage.
Did I give you the cancer?

This isn't about cancer.
This is about you.

You never do anything for me
until you've sorted
yourself out.

That right?

Yes.

I didn't want to fill out
your silly little notepad

because I didn't
feel like it, all right?

No! Because you like
all this.

You'd rather be worse
than better.

It's in your nature.

It's all,
"Look at me. This was
always gonna happen to me!

My daughter was killed!
Look at me!"

I hate you,
you know that?

Oh, I know it, all right.
It's there underneath
all the time.

Here, there's the box.
You wanna take a tablet?
Take one.

Just leave me alone.

On top of everything
I have to deal with you.

We're both
going through this.

No, we're not! Tom, we're not!
I'm going through it!

You've just gotta cope
with things,
cope with stuff.

I had the cancer.
I'm going through chemo.

I need to have
a double-mastectomy.

I'm doing my best here!

No, you're not!

[pills clatter]

Hi.

Hi.

Is this
your first session?

Yes.

Don't be worried about
all the goings-on here.
You get used to it.

You think you won't,
but you do.

I always think it's like
a busy train station
or something.

Yeah.

How many sessions
have you to do?

Six.

Oh.

-Breast cancer.
-Same here.

I hear it's hard.

Well, it can be,
but you get through it.

Take all the painkillers
you can get your hands on.

Once the pain kicks in,
it's hard to get rid of.

[nurse] Now, are we ready?

[Peter]
Yeah, I like it.
It suits you.

No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

I went to the hairdresser's
and she cut it.
I think it looks worse.

It's not even
the right color.

What does Tom
think of it?

Oh, I don't know.

I mean, he wouldn't say
that he didn't like it,

but you know...

He's at the end
of his tether.

I can see it in him.

Oh, but to hell
with him, so am I.

Too right.

[chuckles]

We fought
the other night.

Hmm?

Oh, well,
you need a blowout,
don't you?

Steve won't do it,
not that he's that type,

but even so, God,
he won't offend me now.

Poor man.

He looks frightened,
you know.

More frightened
of me dying than I am.

He won't even talk to me
about stopping chemo.

Are you going to?

Well,
I'm thinking about it.

I can handle it,
but what's the point
of even doing that,

if I'm gonna die
the same way
no matter what?

Steve thinks
I'd be depriving him
of time spent together.

What would you do?

Don't know.

You must've thought
about it

when you heard
about the cancer.

Yeah, I...

Yeah, I thought that...

if it came to that...

no matter how long
you'd been together,

no matter how much
you love each other...

it would have
to be my decision
and my decision alone.

I cried
when I thought that.

You know, that we're
all just really...

just on our own.

[exhales]

Too hot.

Jesus Christ.
Tea cozy?

[chuckles]

No!

Oh...

[laughs]

You'd think
I'd give these up,
wouldn't you?

But then what
would be the point?

Have you somebody
in here?

My wife.
She's got breast cancer.

She's getting chemo,
you know.

They're good in here.

They can't do anything
for me,

but that doesn't
mean to say
they're not good.

Your wife will be
well looked after.

Yes.

My wife's dead.

It's just as well.

I can't do this, Tom.

I can't take any more.

It's all right, kid.
It's all right.

I can't do it, Tom.

Look at me.

I don't want
to look at you.

You're nearly there, pet.

I don't want to be
nearly there, Tom.

I don't wanna be
nearly there.

I want it to be over.
I've had enough.

You know...
you know the way...

I always said
I'd do the marathon...

and never did it?

Useless.

I'm useless.

I stand near
the finish line...

watching the people
cross that line...

one by one.

Makes me wanna cry.

But it's...

it's normal people
that are doing it.

I never did it.

You are doing it.

You're coming up
to the finish line, Joan.

You're nearly there, kid.

You're gonna do it.

I've been thinking
we should do something
to the house.

Like what?

I don't know.

Bedroom, kitchen.
I don't know,
just a change.

They don't need
change, Joan.

Tom, we haven't
decorated since...

And what?
There's only you
and me in it.

It doesn't mean
it shouldn't look well.

It looks
well enough.

We're doing the bedroom.

Right.
Not the kitchen?

You think we should
do the kitchen?

I don't think
we should do either.

Right,
we're doing the bedroom.
Something bright.

Aye.

What are we doing
after this? Do you wanna go
for a drink somewhere?

No, we'll just go up
to the bedroom.

I'll nip over,
get some wine
across the road.

It'll be cheaper.

Now that we're saving
for an orange bedroom.

We don't have
to have any drink at all.

Aye, very good.

Don't be getting
a lot of drink.

I wasn't gonna
get a lot.

Don't start.

I know, but, I mean,
we're here doing this.

We're having
a good time.

Yes.

Are you going
to miss these?

What? Really?

Now?

Yes, now.

No.

No?

What, is this
a trick question?

No.

Are you gonna
miss them?

No.

You'll still
have something left.

I know.

But, I mean,
are you gonna miss them?

Yes.

Good man.

You okay?

Yeah.

What's the pain
like today?

Same.

You getting more
painkillers?

Yeah.

Did you sleep?

Off and on.

It's difficult
to sleep here,
noise of the place.

How long did they say
you'd be in for?

At least a week.

Got to make sure
that the wound's clean and
under my arms are all drained.

Do you need me
to bring anything up?

Yeah.

Can you go into
the top drawer and get
my blue nightdress?

Make sure
it's the blue one.

The other one's
a bit grubby.
And some knickers.

Any type?

Crotchless?

Don't make me laugh.
It hurts.

Not the crotchless
then?

Oh, Tom!

Sturdy gusset?

Sturdy gusset.

Couple of facecloths
as well.

Anything else?

Any other things
that aren't
sexually romantic?

No, just the sexually
romantic stuff.

Hi.

Tom, this is Peter.

[Tom]
Yes, of course.

[Joan] I told you.

Hi.
Good to meet you.

You too.

I'm gonna go down
to the café.
Let you two have a chat.

Well,
how about you,
missus?

They've removed both
of my breasts and they've
reconstructed them.

They pulled up
some muscle from
my stomach to do it.

I've got this great big
scar across here.
It's like a zip.

Well,
at least it's over.

You know,
at the start of all this,
I had this feeling

that if I can get
through it all,
that the experience of that,

you know,
just going through it,

it would somehow
change me.

I don't think it has.

I don't think
I want it to.

You're Tom.
Joan's husband?

Peter is with Joan
up in the ward.

Oh, right, yeah.

I heard she was in
for an operation.
I hope it all went well.

In doctor speak,
as well as can be expected.

I know.
It's just never
a straight answer.

It's good that
she got through it.

Yeah.

Peter's in because
his blood count
is down.

Aye,
just keeping an eye
on him.

He's dying.

You know that?

Yes.

I've stopped
the chemo.

I knew I was going to do it.
I just took me time
working round to it.

I told Steve.
I didn't talk to him
about it. I told him.

That didn't
go down well.

He'll come round.

Well, he'll have to.
It's all about time now.

He used to teach
my daughter.

Aye. He said.

I'm sorry to hear
what happened.

Yeah.

That can't be easy.

No.

[Joan] Have you planned out
what you're gonna do?

Do nothing.

You know,
spend time together.
I don't want to do things.

I've spent me whole life
doing things.

Now I want to do
absolutely nothing.

Yeah, when we lost Debbie,
I think Tom felt like that.

Just gave up work
and...

stopped, really.
Well...

I suppose I did too.

I understand that.

I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

I don't think anyone
knows that.

You try not to think
about it, but it's there
all the time.

Maybe...

you don't do anything.

Look... I don't know
if this is any good,
but I'll say it anyway.

My daughter, Debbie,
was taken away
from us suddenly.

I can't explain it.

It's beyond me.

But if I'd have known
she was going to die...

all I would've done
was to spend time with her.

I don't want him
to die.

I know.

I know.

Oh, thank you.

Here, fix this tie,
will you?

A grown man
can't fix
his own tie.

What's that
about?

[chuckles]

You look well, kid.

-Thank you.
-Are you not meant
to say that back?

You look well.

Too late.

We'll just stay
for the funeral, okay?

I'm tired.

Joan, if you don't
want to go...

Oh, no,
I do want to go.

But I don't want
to get involved
in anything afterwards.

Are you in pain?

Yeah, a bit.

Take another tablet.

Oh, I will later.

I'm trying to hold off.
I'm taking too many
as it is.

-Do you want a cup of tea?
-Yes, please.

[Steve] The last few weeks
of Peter and I's
time together was...

was beautiful.

I've never watched
so much rubbish TV
in my life.

[scattered chuckles]

It's brilliant,
rubbish TV.

All we did
was sit together.

That's all
we needed to do.

I've never loved any person
as much as I loved that man.

He made me
face the world and...

I will miss him more
than he will ever know.

Peter, I love you.

I don't know
what I'm gonna do
without you, but...

I do know that
you're still forever
the best part of me.

Hey, that's too many.
Can you not just
get a few?

No. You need
more than a few.

There's only the two of us.

You can't just
cook a few
Brussels sprouts.

Why not?

Oh, I don't know.
You just can't.

Why do we even have to get any?

I don't even
eat them.

I do.

Once a year.
You eat them
once a year.

Well, that's why
it's important
to get them.

Anyway,
what do you care?

They stink
the place up.

You stink
the place up.

Very good.

I'm gonna head
around here
and get some beer.

Have we enough wine?

Yes, plenty of wine.

Running out
over Christmas
would be a nightmare.

Don't get
too much beer.

I'll get what I need.

I'm just saying
don't get too much.

Ditto regarding
the sprouts.

Oh, get some
smoked salmon,
will you?

Oh, aye?
Just a wee bit
for you?

[Tom] Aye.

[chuckles]

Put a wee bit of tinsel
round the goldfish tank
too, will you?

I will if I've got
enough left.

The fish needs to know
it's Christmas.

Oh, aye.

You want
some more wine?

No, I'm all right.

Got enough there,
thanks.

Know what I was thinking?

No, Tom.
What were you thinking?

We should invite
your man Steve
over for Christmas.

Yeah,
that's a good idea.

I do have them
sometimes.

Not Christmas dinner
though.

I hadn't thought when,
but why not
Christmas dinner?

Well, I'm sure
he's got other places
to be anyway.

He might be on his own.

He mightn't want
to come out
on Christmas Day.

Maybe, but how do you
know that unless you ask him?

You ask him, then he says,
"I can, I can't.
I want to, I don't want to."

Yeah, but he might
feel under pressure
if we ask him.

Why don't you leave
the decision up to him

instead of you
making it for him?

Even though we haven't
even asked him
the question yet.

All right,
but just not
Christmas Day.

A drink then.
Invite him round
for a drink.

Yeah, that would
be lovely.

Okay. You have
his number?

Yeah.

Will you phone him
or will I?

You can phone him.

Right.

I know what
we've just said,

and I'm not saying
this will happen, but...

Tom...

if you want to
ask him for Christmas,
ask him for Christmas.

Okay. Hey...

do we have enough
Brussels sprouts?

[laughs]
More than enough.

[woman on stereo]
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

♪ To you ♪

[woman] ♪ Isn't it so?

♪ There's no black
Without blue ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ It's not so bad
When it's good ♪

♪ You can't make the grade
Till you stumble ♪

[laughing]

♪ So why sit around
And mumble? ♪

♪ Let your poor heart rest ♪

♪ For better or worse, you bet

♪ Is ♪

♪ It ♪

♪ So? ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ It's an ebb and a flow ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ A give and take
Don't you know? ♪

♪ Right or wrong
Wrong or right ♪

♪ Like a song's sweet reprise

♪ Let your poor heart rest ♪

♪ For better or worse, you bet

♪ Is ♪

♪ It ♪

♪ So? ♪

♪ Isn't ♪

♪ It? ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ It's a calm and a storm ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ A candle in a window ♪

♪ Hail winds blow
To a clear blue sky ♪

♪ Tides fall and rise ♪

♪ Stars above
The moonlight mirrors ♪

♪ For better or worse ♪

♪ You are ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪

♪ Isn't it so? ♪