Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:04,738
>> A POP ORIGINAL SERIES.
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,076
>> THE FIFTH ANNUAL COMPETITIVE
3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,111
AEROBICS COMPETITION,
4
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,079
IT WAS MY FIRST FINALS
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,246
AND I WAS THE FAVORITE
6
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,614
TO WIN IT ALL.
7
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,748
MY DAD MADE ME TRAIN
8
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,085
MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT.
9
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,087
>> TODAY'S THE DAY, SON.
10
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,654
MOMENTS LIKE THIS SEPARATE
11
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,656
THE MEN FROM THE BOYS.
12
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,325
>> AND LAST ROUTINE PUTS
13
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,128
BARRY CROSS IN THE LEAD.
14
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,296
>> BARRY...
15
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,831
>> OKAY, THAT'S ME, JOE FORCE,
16
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,432
WITH EVERY PERSON
17
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,766
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID
18
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,668
FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS.
19
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:38,339
BARRY CROSS, MY ARCH NEMESIS.
20
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,141
CLAUDIA, MY HIGH SCHOOL
21
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,342
GIRLFRIEND THAT LEFT ME
22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,511
FOR MY ARCH NEMESIS.
23
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,214
MY MOM, FORMER PAGEANT QUEEN,
24
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,282
ALSO BAT-SHIT CRAZY.
25
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:49,117
AND FINALLY,
26
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,185
COLONEL FORCE, MY DAD,
27
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,587
THE GODFATHER OF AEROBICS.
28
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:54,755
GROWING UP, MY DAD TOOK
29
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,691
THIS SHIT WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
30
00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:01,262
>> WIN, OR DON'T COME HOME.
31
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,297
>> OUR NEXT CONTESTANT,
32
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:07,201
JOE FORCE!
33
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,436
>> WELL, I DIDN'T WIN,
34
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,239
SO I DIDN'T GO HOME.
35
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,508
EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
36
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,843
>> I BECAME THE LEAD SINGER
37
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,578
OF GUNS VAN BOSES.
38
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,712
WE'RE AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS,
39
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:19,547
BAR MITZVAHS,
40
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,882
AND A MOM'S NIGHT OUT.
41
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:22,850
>> I LOVE YOU.
42
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,252
>> I WANNA TALK TO YOU LATER.
43
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:27,255
LIKE EVERY COWBOY
44
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:31,359
SINGS A SAD SAD SONG
45
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:35,396
EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
46
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:38,732
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
47
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,268
WE'VE BEEN GUNS VAN BOSES.
48
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:40,734
WHO'S STICKIN' AROUND
49
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,869
FOR THE NEXT SET?
50
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:43,737
>> WE ARE!
51
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,538
>> WHOA, I GOT DROOPY YESSES,
52
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,374
RIGHT THERE, THANK YOU.
53
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,742
HEY, WHERE'S MY WHISKEY CHARLIE?
54
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,477
NICE.
55
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:50,411
>> LISTEN, KID,
56
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,246
YOUR MOM CALLED.
57
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,214
YOU DO REMEMBER YOUR DAD,
58
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,248
DON'T YOU?
59
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,249
>> A REPUBLICAN RICHARD SIMMONS.
60
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:56,450
HOW COULD I FORGET HIM?
61
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,485
>> YOU TWO WEREN'T VERY CLOSE,
62
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,319
WERE YOU?
63
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,188
>> NO, NO.
64
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,322
OUR ONLY CONTACT IS AN
65
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,823
ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CARD WITH A,
66
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:03,824
UH, WEIGHT WATCHERS GIFT
67
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,826
CERTIFICATE AND A LIST
68
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,528
OF WORKOUT ROUTINES.
69
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,164
>> WELL, HE DIED.
70
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,299
>> WHAT?
71
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,666
HE DIED?
72
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,235
>> MOM SAID HIS TICKER GAVE OUT
73
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,236
WHILE HE WAS TEACHING
74
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,338
AN AEROBICS CLASS.
75
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,473
>> REPEAT AFTER ME:
76
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,242
CARDIO IS NOT A PLATE
77
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,511
OF MEXICAN FOOD.
78
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,246
>> CARDIO IS NOT A PLATE
79
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,381
OF MEXICAN FOOD.
80
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,882
>> CARDIO IS--
81
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,552
>> CARDIO IS.
82
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,654
>> HEART'S ON FIRE.
83
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,423
>> HEART'S ON FIRE.
84
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,358
>> AH!
85
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,359
>> I TOLD HIM THAT FITNESS SHIT
86
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,660
WOULD KILL HIM.
87
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,429
>> THOSE THINGS HAPPEN.
88
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,199
>> HEY...
89
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,234
I'VE BEEN THERE.
90
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,401
I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.
91
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:47,801
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
92
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,537
GOIN' THROUGH.
93
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,405
LISTEN, YOU KNOW I'M LOOKIN'
94
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:52,773
FOR A PARTNER TO INVEST
95
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,343
IN MY BAKED POTATO BUFFET.
96
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,780
>> YOU JUST TOLD ME MY DAD DIED
97
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,649
AND YOU WANT ME TO PUT
98
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,950
MY INHERITANCE INTO
99
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:06,387
A BAKED POTATO BUFFET?
100
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,321
THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME,
101
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:11,392
BUT IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
102
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:11,892
HEY, CAN YOU PLAY
103
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:12,660
CAT'S IN THE CRADLE?
104
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,362
>> OKAY.
105
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,631
LET'S GET PHYSICAL
106
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,467
PHYSICAL
107
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,439
>> MAN, THIS PLACE IS BIGGER
108
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,307
THAN TWO HOUSE CODES
109
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,408
PUT TOGETHER.
110
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,842
>> OH, MAN, I NEED A DRINK.
111
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,643
>> CAR BAR?
112
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,110
>> CAR BAR.
113
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,345
>> DRINK UP, BOYS.
114
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:31,779
WE'RE ONLY STAYIN'
115
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:32,880
FOR A FEW DAYS.
116
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:33,381
I'M GONNA FIND OUT
117
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:34,648
WHAT MY DAD LEFT ME.
118
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,849
SELL IT, AND THEN WE'RE--
119
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,351
>> HITTIN' THE ROAD.
120
00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,018
>> CHEERS TO THIS SHIT.
121
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,287
>> HEY.
122
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,554
OH, BY THE WAY, THIS IS
123
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,789
WEDDING BAND BEHAVIOR.
124
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:42,856
FOOD AND BOOZE, OPEN GAME.
125
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,024
HANDS OFF THE WOMEN.
126
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:44,325
>> MAN...
127
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:44,925
>> DUDE.
128
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,693
>> I'M STILL GETTIN' LAID.
129
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,193
>> YEAH.
130
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,261
>> SO HE REALLY WAS
131
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,829
A GREAT, GREAT LOSS.
132
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,399
THANK YOU, THOUGH.
133
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:54,001
>> HI, MOM.
134
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:54,868
AH!
135
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:55,503
>> THAT WAS FOR WEARING THAT
136
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,705
SHIRT, AND FOR NOT RETURNING
137
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,640
MY CALLS FOR THREE YEARS.
138
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,446
THAT'S FOR LOSING YOUR FATHER.
139
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,715
I'M SO SORRY, DARLING.
140
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,818
>> I'M SORRY TOO, MOM.
141
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:11,752
>> A BIT FLABBY.
142
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,421
>> YEAH, LIFE OF A ROCK STAR.
143
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,655
>> WELL, ACTUALLY I THOUGHT
144
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,390
ROCK STARS WERE SKINNY
145
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,391
BECAUSE OF THE DRUGS.
146
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,627
>> DONUTS ARE A DRUG.
147
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,494
>> COME, THERE'S SOMETHING
148
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,996
YOU NEED TO SEE.
149
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,499
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
150
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,900
>> I'M COLONEL TOM FORCE,
151
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,336
AND THIS IS MY LAST WILL
152
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,903
AND TESTAMENT.
153
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,439
JANET, MY LOVE,
154
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,073
YOU MUST BE DEVASTATED.
155
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,442
>> HE KNEW ME SO WELL.
156
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,477
>> AS FOR YOU, MY DISGRACE
157
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,347
OF A SON, I KNEW YOU'D SHOW.
158
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,482
YOU WANT YOUR CUT.
159
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,485
>> HE KNEW YOU WELL TOO.
160
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,487
>> OUR NEXT CONTESTANT,
161
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,455
JOE FORCE!
162
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,322
>> HOW DID YOU PUT THIS
163
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,458
IN YOUR WILL?
164
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,396
>> DON'T LOOK AWAY, JOSEPH.
165
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,530
YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING
166
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,466
FROM YOUR LEGACY.
167
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,034
BARRY CROSS, NOT ONLY DID HE
168
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,604
BEAT YOU, HE MARRIED CLAUDIA
169
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,005
AND STARTED A SUCCESSFUL
170
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,040
FITNESS BRAND.
171
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,041
>> I'M GETTING THE FEELING
172
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:08,942
I'M GONNA NEED TO BORROW
173
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,744
SOME GAS MONEY.
174
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,713
>> JANET, YOU GET THE HOUSE
175
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,783
AND A GENEROUS MONTHLY STIPEND.
176
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,918
JOE...
177
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,887
YOU GET THE GYM.
178
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,389
BUT MY HARD EARNED MONEY IS
179
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,492
GONNA HAVE TO BE EARNED HARDER.
180
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,059
THAT'S WHY I'M DONATING
181
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,929
YOUR $8 MILLION INHERITANCE
182
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,764
TO THE WINNING GYM
183
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:31,865
OF THE COMPETITIVE
184
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,468
AEROBICS CHAMPIONSHIP.
185
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,470
>> WHAT!?
186
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,641
>> SELL THE GYM AND FINANCE
187
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,977
YOUR OWN DEMISE, OR MAN UP,
188
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,413
SHAVE YOUR LEGS,
189
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,114
PUT ON SPANDEX,
190
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,417
AND GO FOR THE GOLD.
191
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,751
I BELIEVE THERE IS STILL
192
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,620
WINNERS BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH
193
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,822
THOSE CLOGGED ARTERIES.
194
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,994
>> SO WE HAVE THREE MONTHS
195
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:01,462
TO GET YOU BACK
196
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,863
INTO FINALS SHAPE.
197
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,399
TOUGH, BUT DOABLE.
198
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,467
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
199
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,668
YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
200
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,036
MOM, THIS IS CRAZY.
201
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:09,603
>> LOOK, YOUR FATHER AND I
202
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,004
MADE A PACT THAT WHOEVER
203
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,040
PASSED FIRST, THE OTHER ONE
204
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,174
WOULD DEDICATE THEMSELVES TO
205
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,076
GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK.
206
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,678
>> MY LIFE IS ON TRACK.
207
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,513
IT'S ONE BIG TRACK.
208
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,481
I PLAY AT PACKED HOUSES
209
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,516
EVERY NIGHT, WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
210
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,017
I AM NOT GIVING UP
211
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,919
MY MUSICAL CAREER FOR THIS SHIT.
212
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,555
>> IF YOU TRY TO SELL THE GYM
213
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,157
OR YOU RESIST GOING FOR GOLD,
214
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,892
I WILL BE FORCED TO USE
215
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,427
EVERY TOOL IN MY ARSENAL.
216
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:33,927
>> DO IT.
217
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:34,595
I DARE YOU.
218
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,696
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE.
219
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,597
THAT'S WHY I LEFT.
220
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,699
I'M BULLETPROOF.
221
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,502
>> NOW YOU HAVE THE KEY
222
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,537
AND THE DEED TO THE GYM.
223
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:44,538
>> MOM, I KNOW YOU WANT ME
224
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:45,539
TO BE PATRICK SWAYZE,
225
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,840
BUT I'M NOT.
226
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,642
I'M AXL ROSE.
227
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:49,543
>> I WISH PATRICK SWAYZE
228
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,578
WAS MY SON.
229
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,179
>> PATRICK SWAYZE'S DEAD, MOM.
230
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:52,946
>> HE DIED, TOO.
231
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,515
>> YES.
232
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,684
>> OH, THIS IS THE WORST DAY
233
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,918
OF MY LIFE.
234
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,953
>> YEAH, JOIN THE CLUB.
235
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,791
>> REST IN PEACE, COLONEL.
236
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,460
>> FIFTEEN YEARS.
237
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,170
>> CLAUDIA?
238
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:17,738
>> OH!
239
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,508
>> WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT.
240
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,975
>> I KNOW.
241
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,545
YOU LOOK...
242
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,680
LIKE YOU HAVE A GOOD STORY
243
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:30,150
TO TELL OR SOMETHING.
244
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,151
>> I THINK I BROKE A RECORD.
245
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,886
HEY, WHERE'S JOE?
246
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,155
>> OH, UM...
247
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,558
>> HOLY!
248
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:38,025
HEY.
249
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,693
>> BARRY CROSS.
250
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,562
>> JOE HOPELESS, SHAPELESS
251
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,697
AND NOW FATHERLESS FORCE.
252
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:44,665
>> OKAY, THAT WAS, UH,
253
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,232
A LITTLE TOO FAR.
254
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:45,699
>> YEAH, WE'RE IN FRONT
255
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,834
OF HIS DEAD BODY.
256
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,502
>> I WAS JUST JOSHIN'.
257
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,670
>> WHY ARE YOU HERE?
258
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:50,538
>> WE'RE HERE TO
259
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,204
PAY OUR RESPECTS
260
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,506
TO THE GODFATHER OF AEROBICS.
261
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,174
>> YEAH.
262
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,208
I-I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CASUAL
263
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,610
ATTIRE, BUT IT IS BLACK,
264
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:57,210
AND I WAS ABLE TO SQUEEZE
265
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,111
SOME CARDIO ON THE WAY IN,
266
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,513
SO NOT A TOTAL LOSS...
267
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,147
FOR ME.
268
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,750
I MEAN, THIS IS A LOSS.
269
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,085
IT'S A SAD MOMENT FOR-FOR YOU.
270
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,655
ANOTHER ONE.
271
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:08,321
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR
272
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,523
DAD'S GYM, BECAUSE I WANT IT.
273
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,090
>> GREAT, I DON'T.
274
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:10,691
YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.
275
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,625
>> GREAT, I WILL TAKE IT.
276
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:12,192
>> I'LL SELL IT.
277
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:12,660
>> I'LL BUY IT FROM YOU.
278
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,260
>> YEAH, HOW MUCH?
279
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:13,827
>> WELL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE
280
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:14,194
GRIEVING, WE CAN DISCUSS
281
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,096
THIS MATTER.
282
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,264
>> OKAY, DONE GRIEVING.
283
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:17,765
WHAT'S YOUR OFFER?
284
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,999
>> OKAY, SLOW DOWN.
285
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,634
THIS IS A FUNERAL.
286
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:21,669
UM, FITNESS BY FORCE IS
287
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,070
IN A REALLY GREAT LOCATION.
288
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:23,737
>> YEAH.
289
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,005
>> BUT WE-WE'LL PROBABLY TAKE
290
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,807
A FEW HOURS TO PREP THE OFFER.
291
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,675
>> WE'RE GONNA FRANCHISE.
292
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,542
WE GOT BIG PLANS.
293
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,009
>> YEAH, I DON'T CARE
294
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:29,509
ABOUT YOUR PLANS.
295
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,644
WHERE DO I FIND YOU?
296
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,278
>> OH, JUST LOOK FOR
297
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:31,745
THE BUILDING WITH PERFECTLY
298
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,946
SCULPTED PHYSIQUES
299
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:33,914
WALKING IN AND OUT.
300
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,618
331 METRICS AVENUE.
301
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,151
OKAY, IF YOU NEED TO
302
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:38,919
GET THERE, GOOGLE IT.
303
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,320
DO NOT USE APPLE MAPS.
304
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,289
>> SO GLAD YOU CAME.
305
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,323
>> YEAH, WE GOTTA GO.
306
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,124
>> I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
307
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:44,524
>> AND FOR HOW MUCH
308
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,694
YOU'VE GAINED.
309
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,300
>> UM...
310
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,703
OKAY.
311
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,215
>> HAVE A GOOD WORKOUT.
312
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,184
I'M SORRY, SIR.
313
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,285
OUR PLUS SIZE TERMINAL
314
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,787
IS AT ANOTHER ADDRESS.
315
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,722
>> TERMINAL?
316
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,189
>> ARE YOU OKAY?
317
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,358
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING.
318
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,193
MY DAD JUST DIED, AND I
319
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,194
MOVED BACK IN WITH MY MOM,
320
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:21,629
AND OUR RELATIONSHIP--
321
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,863
>> PLEASE STOP.
322
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:23,496
WE DON'T DO NEGATIVE
323
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,932
DOWNLOADS AT OUR TERMINALS.
324
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,700
HAVE A FAKE DAY.
325
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,635
>> WE CALL THEM TERMINALS,
326
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,368
BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE
327
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,604
YOU PLUG IN TO TURN ON.
328
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:31,639
>> TERMINAL IS ALSO A WORD
329
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,272
USED TO DESCRIBE
330
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,774
LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESSES.
331
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:34,274
>> AND YOU'RE A WALKING
332
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,042
ANGIOPLASTY, BUT NO,
333
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,744
NO ILLNESS IN HERE.
334
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,745
OUR BODIES ARE TEMPLES,
335
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:38,812
AND TREATED AS SUCH.
336
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,614
>> MY BODIES A DIVE BAR.
337
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,815
EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN
338
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,083
AND MUCH BETTER STORIES.
339
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,652
>> GANDHI ONCE CLAIMED THAT HIS
340
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,686
SENSE OF HUMOR WAS THE ONLY
341
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:46,654
THING THAT PREVENTED HIM
342
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,788
FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE.
343
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,288
>> I DON'T TRUST PEOPLE
344
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,156
THAT DON'T EAT.
345
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:49,790
>> INTERMITTENT FASTING IS
346
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,759
PHYSIOLOGICALLY BENEFICIAL.
347
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,826
>> YOU ARE SO BORING.
348
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,161
WILL YOU JUST SIGN THE CONTRACT?
349
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,395
>> YEAH, I'LL SIGN THE CONTRACT.
350
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:55,796
>> GOOD.
351
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:56,697
>> YEAH, GOOD.
352
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,264
>> GREAT.
353
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:57,731
>> WELL, GIVE ME A PEN.
354
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,098
>> OKAY, I WILL--
355
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:58,699
>> YOU KNOW,
356
00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,132
I'M GONNA USE MY OWN PEN.
357
00:09:59,166 --> 00:09:59,733
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
358
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,769
>> I HAVE A SUPERIOR PEN.
359
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,169
>> I BET YOU DO.
360
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,103
>> OKAY.
361
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,805
>> WAIT, UM, DO I HAVE TO WALK,
362
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,305
OR DO YOU HAVE, LIKE,
363
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,808
A SCOOTER OR A TRAN?
364
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:11,078
NO, OKAY.
365
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,145
>> WELCOME...
366
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,947
TO THE FUTURE OF FITNESS.
367
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,849
METRIX WEARABLES,
368
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:16,316
THEY MONITOR YOUR
369
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,918
STATS AND VITALS.
370
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,853
EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE
371
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,254
IS PLUGGED INTO OUR CUSTOM AI
372
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,756
SOFTWARE THAT SENDS YOU
373
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,157
A DAILY WORKOUT REGIMEN.
374
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:28,762
>> THIS IS HILARIOUS.
375
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,097
YOU HAD TO CREATE ALL OF THIS
376
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:30,664
BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T
377
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,166
GET LAID IN HIGH SCHOOL.
378
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,968
>> YOU PEAKED AT 17.
379
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,103
I'M STILL BLOSSOMING.
380
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,306
RAGE CYCLE.
381
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,340
ONE OF OUR MOST POPULAR
382
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,009
STRESS-RELIEVING CLASSES.
383
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:42,542
>> OH, YOU'RE GONNA
384
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,844
CUT ME OFF IN TRAFFIC.
385
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,678
NO, NO, NO, NO.
386
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:45,813
I'M GONNA CUT YOU OFF.
387
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,881
I'LL CUT YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OFF!
388
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,018
>> I BEAT OFF TO RELIEF STRESS.
389
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,185
DO YOU HAVE A CLASS FOR THAT?
390
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,787
>> THE DAOIST MASTERS REGARD
391
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,288
SEMINAL RETENTION AS
392
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,090
THE PATHWAY TO IMMORTALITY.
393
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,058
NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG,
394
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,893
CLAUDIA AND I BANG LIKE RABBITS.
395
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,361
BUT AT CLIMAX, RATHER THAN
396
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,363
SPILL IT, I REDISTRIBUTE
397
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,732
THE JING CHI ENERGY
398
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,399
THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BODY.
399
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,034
SEE, I'LL BE TOASTING
400
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,302
MY 125th BIRTHDAY WHILE YOU
401
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,738
SPLOOGED YOUR WAY
402
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,806
TO AN EARLY GRAVE.
403
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,108
>> YOU DON'T JIZZ?
404
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,910
>> NOT EVERY WOMAN
405
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:20,047
WANTS TO HAVE KIDS, MOM!
406
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:20,781
>> AND OUR MOST
407
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,116
ADVANCED FEATURE,
408
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,753
FACIAL RECOGNITION MIRRORS.
409
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:26,920
THEY SCAN YOUR FACE,
410
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,055
FIND YOUR MOST POPULAR SOCIAL
411
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,823
MEDIA POST, AND MOUNT IT
412
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,091
ON THE SCREEN.
413
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,225
WANNA TRY IT?
414
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,426
>> NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
415
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,928
I ACTUALLY TALK TO REAL PEOPLE.
416
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:35,763
>> WELL, THAT'S THE DEFINITION
417
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:36,797
OF SOCIAL MEDIA.
418
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,264
COME ON, LET'S SEE WHAT
419
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:37,630
YOU'VE BEEN UP TO.
420
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,832
STAND THERE,
421
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,068
LOOK LIKE A MARSHMALLOW.
422
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,335
>> SEE, NOTHING.
423
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,771
I'M OFF THE GRID.
424
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,406
>> EVERYBODY IS IN THE METRIX.
425
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,777
>> MATCH FOUND, JOE FORCE.
426
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:54,948
>> ANOTHER CLASSIC
427
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,149
JOE FORCE STAGE FAIL.
428
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:56,950
YOU SHOULD REALLY START
429
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,351
CHARGING FOR THESE.
430
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,887
DICTATION, POST TO ALL
431
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,421
SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS.
432
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,890
OLD RIVAL FALLING ON
433
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,325
HARD/SOFT TIMES.
434
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,996
WHOOPS, DONUTDIET.
435
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,430
>> STATUS POSTED ACROSS
436
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,533
ALL SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS.
437
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,068
>> ARE YOU READY TO TALK TERMS?
438
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,169
THAT'S WHAT BUSINESSMEN SAY
439
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,270
TO EACH OTHER WHEN THEY'RE
440
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,806
ABOUT TO NEGOTIATE A DEAL.
441
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,272
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
442
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,107
SCREW YOU, BARRY.
443
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:20,908
I'M NOT LETTING YOU TURN
444
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,408
MY DAD'S GYM INTO
445
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,243
SOME FITNESS CULT.
446
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:23,844
>> WELL, I'D SAY YOU'RE
447
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:24,878
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST
448
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,445
MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE,
449
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,914
BUT I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.
450
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,048
>> I HATED MY DAD,
451
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,518
BUT NOT THIS MUCH.
452
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,085
>> WELL, HEY, DON'T FORGET
453
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,386
TO GRAB A SUPERABSORBENT
454
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,288
METRIX T-SHIRT ON YOUR WAY OUT.
455
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:35,923
THEY'RE AVAILABLE IN TRIPLE
456
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,057
SMALL, DOUBLE SMALL AND OUR
457
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,426
PLUS SIZE, KIDS MEDIUM.
458
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,903
>> JOE, THERE WERE TWO PLACES
459
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:50,871
YOU WOULD RUN OFF TO
460
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,439
WHEN YOU FEELING DOWN.
461
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,375
THE CHINESE BUFFET IS CLOSED.
462
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,911
>> DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME.
463
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,983
YOU BROKE MY HEART.
464
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,017
YOU LEFT ME RIGHT AFTER
465
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,987
I LOST THE FINALS, AND...
466
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,122
WE NEVER EVEN BROKE UP.
467
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,190
YOU GHOSTED ME BEFORE
468
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,892
GHOSTING WAS A THING.
469
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:12,559
THEN YOU MARRIED
470
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,361
DINGLE-BARRY AND STARTED A GYM
471
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,963
THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO ROBOTS.
472
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:16,496
>> OKAY, JOE--
473
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,130
>> THEY'RE ROBOTS!
474
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,032
>> JOE, I REGRET LEAVING YOU
475
00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,001
LIKE THAT, I REALLY DO.
476
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,002
BUT I DON'T REGRET THE REST
477
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,937
OF MY LIFE DECISIONS.
478
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:26,874
>> YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS
479
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,008
FOR ME, DON'T YOU?
480
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,877
>> NO.
481
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,079
UH, SYMPATHY, MAYBE.
482
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,413
ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT YOU
483
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,015
JUST THINK ABOUT MAKING A DEAL
484
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:35,582
BEFORE YOU GO OFF AND
485
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,084
DO SOMETHING RASH, OKAY?
486
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:37,750
>> I'VE ALREADY DECIDED
487
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,252
I'M JUST GONNA LET IT FILL UP
488
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:40,387
WITH TRANSIENT SQUATTERS
489
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,855
AND TURN INTO A SOUP KITCHEN.
490
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:42,856
>> THAT'S GREAT.
491
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:43,490
WHEN YOUR SOUP KITCHEN FALLS
492
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,892
THROUGH, WE'LL BE HERE
493
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,227
READY WITH THE CHECK.
494
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,863
AND YOU KNOW OUR GYM IS
495
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,899
ALREADY FULL OF SQUATTERS,
496
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,333
BUT THEY'RE LIKE...
497
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,369
THE GOOD KIND.
498
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,571
BYE.
499
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,041
>> DAMN.
500
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,656
YOU'RE A MEAN OLD BASTARD,
501
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,927
BUT YOU ALWAYS...
502
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,095
WERE A MEAN OLD BASTARD.
503
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,633
"YOU'RE A DISGRACE."
504
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,102
OH, WELL, THANK YOU DAD.
505
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,171
YOU OLD PERVERT.
506
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:31,671
YOU LIKED IT WHEN PEOPLE
507
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,373
LOOKED AT YOUR DONG.
508
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,275
LOOK AT THAT, YOUR BIG DICK.
509
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,612
THAT'S ONE THING YOU GAVE ME.
510
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:45,152
OH, I HOPE I DIE TONIGHT.
511
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,073
>> TELL ME YOU DIDN'T
512
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,107
SELL THE GYM.
513
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:07,707
>> I TRIED.
514
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,542
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
515
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,278
DON'T JUDGE ME.
516
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,980
I ENDED UP THIS WAY BECAUSE
517
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,014
HE WAS A TERRIBLE FATHER
518
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:14,614
WHO FORCED ME TO
519
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,715
DO EVERYTHING HIS WAY.
520
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,151
>> YEAH, THE RIGHT WAY.
521
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,187
FITNESS BY FORCE WAY.
522
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,090
>> I'M SO CONFUSED.
523
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:23,523
EVERYONE'S TAKING
524
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,424
ADVANTAGE OF ME.
525
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,993
>> NOT ME, I'M DIFFERENT.
526
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,094
I'M YOUR MUM.
527
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:27,727
AND HAVING YOU BACK'S MADE ME
528
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,429
REALIZE WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
529
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,231
YOU, BUT THIS IS
530
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,165
NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.
531
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,101
>> GOOD, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO WAY
532
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,068
I CAN WIN THAT COMPETITION.
533
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,103
>> WHO CARES?
534
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,171
I GOT MY BABY BOY BACK.
535
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:41,174
>> OH.
536
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,642
>> OH.
537
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,977
YOU STILL GOT SOME, UH,
538
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,079
SOLID MUSCLE UNDER THAT.
539
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,014
WHAT SIZE UNITARD ARE YOU
540
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,015
WEARING THESE DAYS?
541
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,116
>> THIS IS ABOUT THE MONEY.
542
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:49,749
>> I JUST THOUGHT YOU COULD
543
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,317
GIVE IT A SHOT.
544
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,185
>> I AM DONE WITH THIS.
545
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,153
I WASN'T GONNA SELL THIS PLACE,
546
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,121
BUT IF EVERYBODY ELSE
547
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:54,754
IS OUT FOR THEMSELVES,
548
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,157
I AM TOO.
549
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,264
>> DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
550
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,966
HE'S YOUR SON.
551
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,502
> BODY FAT INDEX, 13%,
552
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,372
NOW 15%.
553
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,740
>> OOH, I'M DETECTING SOME
554
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,142
FAT DEPOSITS, WHICH MAY
555
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,043
PRESENT SOME UNFLATTERING
556
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,177
CAMERA ANGLES.
557
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:17,710
>> WHAT?
558
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:18,711
>> 20%.
559
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,446
>> SHIT, MUST'VE BEEN THAT
560
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,180
GOJI BERRY SMOOTHIE
561
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,181
I HAD LAST WEEK.
562
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:21,848
>> MMM...
563
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,151
>> ZERO NET CARBS, MY FAT ASS.
564
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,154
>> BARRY, WE NEED TO TALK.
565
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,190
>> CROSS CONTROL, DOOR OPEN.
566
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,158
OKAY, IT'S COOL THAT IT OPENS,
567
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,225
BUT WE NEED A SNAZZIER CUE.
568
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:32,525
>> OKAY.
569
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,460
>> YEAH.
570
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,594
IS THAT THE SAME SHITTY SHIRT
571
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,128
YOU WORE YESTERDAY,
572
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,096
OR A NEW SHITTY SHIRT?
573
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:36,729
IT LOOKS MORE YELLOW.
574
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,198
>> UH, I HAD A ROUGH NIGHT.
575
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,632
UM, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR
576
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,101
DIFFERENCES, BUT I, UH,
577
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,169
REALLY JUST NEED TO SELL
578
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,070
MY DAD'S GYM SO I CAN
579
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,204
TAKE MY BAND ON TOUR.
580
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,738
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, NO.
581
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:46,573
YEAH, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED
582
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:47,707
IN ACQUIRING YOUR SHITTY
583
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,309
SWEATBOX ANYMORE.
584
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,477
>> YOU WANTED IT YESTERDAY.
585
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,079
>> YOUR MOMMY CALLED,
586
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:52,712
AND THE METRIX NO LONGER
587
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:53,746
WANTS YOUR SHIT GYM BECAUSE
588
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:54,281
WE WANNA GO AFTER
589
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,117
YOUR DAD'S 8 MILLION.
590
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,786
>> JANET TOLD US ABOUT THE WILL.
591
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:00,353
AND THEN SHE CALLED ME
592
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,155
A MONEY HUNGRY TROLLOP.
593
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,124
SHE MADE IT PERSONAL.
594
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,293
>> YOU MESS WITH THE QUEEN,
595
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,161
YOU GET THE KING.
596
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:08,795
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT
597
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,631
OF RETIREMENT.
598
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,100
>> GREAT.
599
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:13,500
HEY, HOW DO I GET UP
600
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,167
ONTO THE ROOF?
601
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,835
I, UM, I NEED TO KILL MYSELF.
602
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,170
>> OH, NO, THAT'S A LIABILITY.
603
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,138
WE CAN'T HAVE THAT HERE.
604
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,106
THERE'S A ROOF ACROSS
605
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,273
THE PARKING LOT.
606
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,541
>> LISTEN, PAL, IF YOU
607
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,476
AND YOUR SHIT GYM HAPPEN TO
608
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,311
STILL BE AROUND BY THE TIME
609
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,512
I WIN THE AEROBICS FINALS,
610
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,214
I WILL BUY IT BACK FROM YOU
611
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,216
WITH YOUR DAD'S MONEY.
612
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,184
>> BARRY, I THINK HE'S BEEN
613
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,819
THROUGH ENOUGH, RIGHT?
614
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,087
LET'S JUST BY THE DAMN GYM
615
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:34,621
AND THEN ELIMINATE HIM
616
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,123
FROM THE COMPETITION.
617
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:36,623
THAT WAY WE DON'T HAVE TO
618
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:37,657
DEAL WITH HIM LATER.
619
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,292
>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
620
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:39,826
>> YOU STRUCK A SENTIMENTAL
621
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:40,760
CHORD WITH MY WIFE.
622
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,661
THAT'S VERY RARE.
623
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:42,162
>> YEAH, THAT'S 'CAUSE
624
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,330
I USED TO PLOW HER.
625
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:43,996
>> OH.
626
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,298
>> BUT THE ANSWER IS SHIT NO.
627
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,199
CROSS CONTROL,
628
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,567
CUE SAD EXIT MUSIC.
629
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:49,836
YES, THAT CUE I LIKE.
630
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,403
>> OKAY.
631
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,504
>> YEAH, SAVE THAT ONE.
632
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,140
>> EAT MY ASS, DINGLE-BARRY.
633
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:53,840
CROSS CONTROL,
634
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,442
ORDER A MILLION DILDOS.
635
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,709
>> NO, NO!
636
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,377
>> ORDER CONFIRMED.
637
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:57,910
>> CANCEL THE MILLION DILDOS.
638
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,279
>> NEXT DAY DELIVERY.
639
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,847
>> NO NEED FOR A MILLION DILDOS.
640
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,415
>> PRETTY HANDSOME, ISN'T HE?
641
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,316
>> PACK UP YOUR GEAR, BOYS.
642
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:03,716
WE ARE GETTING OUT
643
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,118
OF HERE FOR...
644
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,753
GOOD-- OH, SHIT.
645
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,821
JANET TOLD YOU TOO.
646
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:09,389
YOU JUST HAD TO TURN THEM
647
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,191
AGAINST ME, DIDN'T YOU?
648
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,192
LET ME GUESS, YOU GUYS WANT ME
649
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,160
TO GO FOR THE GOLD.
650
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,327
YEAH, YEAH, I GET IT.
651
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,129
WHY GO ON TOUR FOR THOUSANDS
652
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,197
WHEN I CAN WIN MILLIONS
653
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:17,797
AND FUND ALL OF OUR
654
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,132
ROCK STAR FANTASIES.
655
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,667
YEAH, SURE, FINE, I'LL DO IT.
656
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,602
BUT I WILL THIS UP
657
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,671
ON MY OWN BEFORE I LISTEN
658
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:25,605
TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
659
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,773
BY THREE DRUNK TROLLS
660
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,341
AND A GODDAMN PAGEANT BANSHEE.
661
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,309
GET IN THE CAR, BOYS!
662
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,277
THE JOE FORCE SHIT SHOW
663
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,512
COMEBACK TOUR BEGINS.
664
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:32,979
>> WHAT MONEY IS
665
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,315
HE TALKIN' ABOUT?
666
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,661
>> BARRY CROSS,
667
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,731
GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE.
668
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:52,632
>> RED CROSS ALERT.
669
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,667
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
670
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,266
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE
671
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,469
AND WHERE ARE ALL THE GODS
672
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,339
WHERE'S THE STREETWISE HERCULES
673
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:36,243
TO FIGHT THE RISING ODDS
674
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,745
ISN'T THERE A WHITE KNIGHT
675
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,613
UPON A FIERY STEED
676
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,282
>> NO, NO DANCING OUT HERE.
677
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:43,750
NO, NO, STOP.
678
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,385
LATE AT NIGHT I TOSS AND I TURN
679
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,954
AND I DREAM OF WHAT I NEED
680
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,622
I NEED A HERO--
681
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:53,360
>> AWW!
682
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,794
>> UGH.
683
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,228
YOU GUYS HAD FUN
684
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,496
OUT HERE TODAY?
685
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,766
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE LIKE THIS
686
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,801
EVERYDAY AT FITNESS BY FORCE,
687
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,602
SO COME ON DOWN
688
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:03,770
AND ROCK WITH US.
689
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:04,804
EVERYONE IS WELCOME.
690
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:05,305
>> UH, YEAH, NO.
691
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,339
NOBODY'S GONNA JOIN
692
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,474
YOUR EGALITARIAN GYM.
693
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,475
GROSS!
694
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,410
IMAGINE THE SHOWERS.
695
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,311
>> THEY WILL JOIN MY GYM,
696
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,945
AND WE WILL BEAT YOU
697
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,247
IN THE AEROBICS FINALS.
698
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,848
>> OOH!
699
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:16,283
>> YOU'RE SAYING YOUR GYM
700
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,484
CAN BEAT MY GYM?
701
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,353
>> OOH!
702
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,988
>> IT'S TIME FOR A REMATCH.
703
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,356
>> OH-OH!
704
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,658
>> I GOT THE GYM, THE GIRL,
705
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,627
AND THE BODY OF A GREEK GOD.
706
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,628
>> OOH!
707
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,730
>> WELL, I GOT MY GYM,
708
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,700
MY BAND, AND...
709
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,368
>> ME!
710
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:39,372
>> MY MOM.
711
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,007
>> YEAH!
712
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,377
>> YOU'RE A NOBODY!
713
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:44,911
>> I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
714
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,412
>> I'M GONNA MAKE SURE
715
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,546
THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS
716
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,415
YOU'RE A NOBODY AGAIN.
717
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,850
I NEED A HERO
718
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,419
I'M HOLDING ON FOR A HERO
719
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,854
TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT
720
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,523
AND HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG
721
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,358
AND HE'S GOTTA BE FAST
722
00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,626
AND HE'S GOTTA BE FRESH
723
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,328
FROM THE FIGHT
724
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,663
I NEED A HERO
725
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,498
I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO
726
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:08,301
TIL THE MORNING LIGHT
727
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,775
I NEED A HERO
728
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:23,583
>> OH...
729
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,952
>> THAT USUALLY GETS APPLAUSE.
730
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,355
>> OH...
731
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,625
>> OH.
732
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,361
>> TAKE A GOOD LOOK, BARRY.
733
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:35,862
YOU MAY HAVE THE BRAINS,
734
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:39,366
BUT MY SON HAS THE BALLS.
735
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:45,372
>> ON THE NEXT
736
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,806
"LET'S GET PHYSICAL"...
737
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,341
>> I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU
738
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,642
FOR SLEEPING WITH MY BAND.
739
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:50,343
>> DON'T CUT ME.
740
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,111
I'VE WANTED THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
741
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:52,879
>> YOU JUST STARTED THE TEAM
742
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:53,446
LAST NIGHT.
743
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,348
>> BINGO, A CRYING GIRL.
744
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,048
MY SPECIALTY.
745
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:56,549
>> HOW CAN YOU BE SWEATING
746
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:57,717
JUST STANDING THERE?
747
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,085
>> I'M WEARIN' A JEAN JACKET.
748
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,553
LOOKIN' FOR DANCERS.
749
00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:01,053
>> THAT'S HOW
750
00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:02,121
WE WIN DAD'S MONEY.
751
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,556
TRUST, TEAMWORK,
752
00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:06,092
AND A WHOLE LOT OF FLAIR.
753
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,326
>> GRANDMA'S HOUSE.
45744
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
