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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,040
Is Harrison your real name?
Every word is a lie.
2
00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:07,906
He wasn't nasty.
He'd stolen a square meal.
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,878
A Banksy is worth millions.
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,057
I get to interview Judith Tyzack.
5
00:00:13,059 --> 00:00:15,438
I didn't realise that you were gay.
6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,758
It's not why I invited you here.
You thought that I'm...?
7
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:18,958
No!
8
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,638
Ted! How are we all?
9
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,278
We love him! We could put them up
10
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,558
for a couple of
nights, couldn't we?
11
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,078
I do think he is losing it a bit.
12
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,518
Where is he?
13
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:28,840
Ted!
14
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,558
Ooh, asparagus!
Pushing the boat out.
15
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,438
Thank you.
16
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,120
It's very nice with, um,
poached egg.
17
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,318
And a bit of cod. Someone's in
for a treat at teatime.
18
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,798
Have you tried asparagus
with scrambled eggs and truffle oil
19
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,718
and a bit of Parmesan? No.
We had it in Cornwall. Cornwall!
20
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,278
And we had it with a glass of
champagne.
21
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,678
You all right, Alan? Oh...!
22
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,598
Well, well, well. Look who's here.
You got t'job, then?
23
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,518
You owe me an explanation.
24
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,798
And an apology.
25
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,958
Nice to see you again.
Settling in all right?
26
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,838
Are you collecting your vouchers,
love? Oh, yeah, thanks.
27
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,198
Do you want a hand
bagging up there, missis?
28
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,240
No! Get your mucky hands off.
29
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,598
Do you know him?
30
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,078
No, not... Look, if David cops you,
there'll be bother.
31
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,478
Yeah, but I ain't nicked owt.
32
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,160
I don't do that sort of thing any
more.
33
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,120
Full of sugar, them.
Want to be careful.
34
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,278
What time does your shift
finish, Alan? Who wants to know?
35
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,558
I thought we could get
hot chocolate together.
36
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,998
Upstairs in t'cafe. With whipped
cream and sprinkles.
37
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,238
They do chips as well.
38
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,678
Why aren't you at school?
39
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,318
Oh, that's a waste of time.
40
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,678
I know it all already.
41
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,878
Oh, is that it?
I just upset all the other kids.
42
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,480
I make 'em feel, you know...
43
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,238
...inadequate.
44
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,038
There you go, love. Thank you.
Thank you.
45
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,438
Take care.
46
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,480
Mind how you go.
47
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,560
Do you like little boys, Alan?
48
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,280
You're targeting the wrong
person, Harrison.
49
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,800
Can you lend me 50 pence?
50
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:06,078
Well... I can give you 50 pence.
51
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,240
Make it a fiver and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.
52
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,838
I can only repeat, you're targeting
the wrong fella, Harrison.
53
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,798
I've been on this planet 82 years,
54
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,918
and if there's one thing I've
learnt,
55
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,998
it's to not pander to bullies,
56
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,200
who, usually,
haven't thought things through.
57
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,798
What you doing? I was only joking.
58
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,720
I'm short of pound coins.
59
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,120
Thought you were getting me
chucked out.
60
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,838
David told me that, er,
you live at a foster home
61
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,998
up Norland. Do you? Oh, it's just
a temporary arrangement
62
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,078
while me dad gets back from Los
Angeles. I thought he was in Dubai.
63
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,520
He gets all over.
64
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,238
He said you run away
and live in folks' sheds.
65
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,240
Do you?
66
00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,318
No.
67
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,238
Why aren't you at school?
68
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,958
A bright lad like you.
69
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,638
I don't fit in.
I don't believe that.
70
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,718
I get picked on, and they never know
what to do with me.
71
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,078
And they never know me name, cos
I'm not there often.
72
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,760
And it'd help if
I concentrated...
73
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,760
...apparently, but...
74
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,998
All right, Alan?
75
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,958
Oh, yeah, I'm short of pound coins.
76
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,478
You can get off on your break,
actually, if you like.
77
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,718
Ooh, smashing. Can you remember how
to log yourself out of your till?
78
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,918
Er, yeah... Oh, I think so.
79
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,598
That's it. Am I having that
50 pence or what?
80
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,438
No, not right now you're not.
81
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,798
We're not allowed cash on us,
not on t'shop floor.
82
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,718
Why? Don't they trust you?
Is he pestering you?
83
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,000
No! No, not really.
84
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,478
What about that hot
chocolate, then?
85
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,358
I've got a phone call to make.
86
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,560
I'll go upstairs
and wait for you, Alan.
87
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,118
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
88
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:16,438
No, no, it will be there.
I guarantee it. Yeah.
89
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,840
No.
Here we go, lads.
90
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,238
Two with sugar, one without.
91
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,918
And some biscuits.
92
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,598
Oh, thanks, Mrs Buttershaw. I like
to keep the workers happy.
93
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,278
I can guarantee it will be
tomorrow.
94
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,280
Maybe you could
collect a payment? Yeah.
95
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,040
Just checking you've not
wandered off again.
96
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,118
I shall wander off again
if you don't stop mithering me.
97
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,998
Well, if you do, can you leave
a note?
98
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,918
So we're not ringing the police.
99
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,238
It's a bugger when a fella
can't go for a walk
100
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,158
without folks calling the filth.
101
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,478
It was bucketing down!
Not when I set off.
102
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,558
When I set off, it was very fair.
103
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,680
Mm, so you say.
104
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,638
At five o'clock in the morning!
Best time of the day.
105
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,078
Look, are we really
going back over this again?
106
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,758
Oh.
107
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,680
Oh! Now what?
108
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:12,798
Hello!
109
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,038
How's it going? Well, they've made a
right mess.
110
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,158
And Martin doesn't do anything,
he's just on his phone
111
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,838
all day. The other two are
very polite.
112
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,478
Still, they've got to rip the old
kitchen out
113
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,358
before they put the new one in.
114
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,518
I'm just sitting here
twiddling my thumbs.
115
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,838
Aren't we, Ted?
116
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,798
Eh? Well, that's handy.
117
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,918
Can you do summat for me?
118
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,238
Can you nip down here on a bus
119
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,358
and take the Lexus back
home with you?
120
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,878
A bus? Yeah.
121
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,038
There'll be one at quarter to,
just opposite the gate.
122
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,078
You can be here in 40 minutes.
Well, why?
123
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,398
Oh... this little kiddie.
124
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,238
Asking me for money.
125
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,118
I'm sure he wouldn't really...
126
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,718
A little kiddie? Well, yeah.
127
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,278
He wouldn't do anything.
I just don't want
128
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:05,278
to risk it, and I know you'd be
upset if it got scratched.
129
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,198
What, you mean protection money?
130
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,438
Well, yeah, but...
The little sod.
131
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,560
Er, yeah... Well, ring the police.
132
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,118
Oh, well, they never turn up,
apparently.
133
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:22,560
See, this is what happens when folk
start working in supermarkets.
134
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,038
Is Ted all right?
135
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,398
Yeah, he's fine. He's here.
136
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,678
Well, bring him down with
you on the bus.
137
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,158
We don't want him
wandering off again.
138
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,558
How do you fancy getting a bus down
to Sowerby Bridge, Ted?
139
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,240
Oh, I like a bus ride.
140
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,438
Caroline!
141
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:56,278
Judith Tyzack's PA's just
texted to say they've set off,
142
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,118
so they should be here in
40 minutes.
143
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,798
Oh, thanks.
So exciting!
144
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,798
Everyone's absolutely buzzing!
145
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,918
That's good. Good.
146
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,280
I know I am.
147
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,520
Helen? Yeah.
148
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,238
Just out of interest... Yeah.
149
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,240
...did you, erm...
150
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,438
...did you know that I'm gay?
151
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,278
I think I did.
152
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,558
Yeah. It's not a conversation
we've ever had, but, er...
153
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,758
No, but, er...
154
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,798
Now you've said it. Mmm.
155
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,278
See, I thought everyone knew.
I've never hidden it, have I?
156
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,838
I mean, I've never made a song and dance
about it, cos I'm... Cos I'm not...
157
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,158
Well, just cos I'm not with anyone at
the moment. But I've never hidden it.
158
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,238
My cousin's gay.
Him and his boyfr...
159
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,638
Well, he would be, wouldn't he?
His boyfriend.
160
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:50,240
You see, I just... I mentioned it
to someone the other day.
161
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,758
And this someone was really
shocked,
162
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,518
in a bad way, and
it's shaken me, because...
163
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,838
Well, I thought people just weren't
164
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,318
funny about things like that
any more,
165
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,200
and I just thought
that people knew anyway.
166
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,838
Anyway, thank you.
167
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,278
I'll catch you later.
168
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,080
Do you want me to tell people?
169
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,958
Er, yeah. No. Yeah, whatever.
170
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,958
If it arises, sure. Not that it...
171
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,438
Well, why, would it?
But, yeah. If... Yeah.
172
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,678
Sure.
173
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,160
Perfect. Thank you.
174
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,518
Oh, hi, Ruth!
175
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,478
Gosh, you must be excited! Good
luck!
176
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,960
Thanks.
177
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,158
I don't think I should do this.
178
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,078
Why? Why not? What do you mean?
179
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,358
I should've said it sooner,
180
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,160
I shouldn't have left it till now,
but... Yeah, it's...
181
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,198
These are the questions that I
compiled, if they're any help.
182
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,598
Probably best if you do it.
183
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,478
Why? "Why?"
184
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,598
Well, you know her work.
You love her work.
185
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,038
That's why I asked you.
Why is it better if I do it?
186
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,878
No, that's not why you asked
me. No, it is.
187
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,078
No, you asked me
so that I'd be grateful to you.
188
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,558
Wow.
189
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,958
Be honest.
190
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,478
Right. And because it was
191
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,080
a handy excuse to invite me round to
your house. Oh, for fuck's...
192
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,798
I asked you because you know her
work better,
193
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,798
a lot better, than I do.
194
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,198
I asked you because
I thought you'd be good at it,
195
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,238
and because I thought you'd be
thrilled by the idea, and you were!
196
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,118
And I asked you because...
You asked me because
197
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,640
you had ulterior motives.
198
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,198
God, you even called your
dog after me!
199
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,198
I did not call my dog after you.
200
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,798
And that's why I'm not doing it.
201
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,720
Because you made me feel cheap.
202
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,918
So thanks, but...
203
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,480
...I'm better than that.
204
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,038
And you know that I am such a big
fan of hers,
205
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,760
of her work. This could
have meant so much.
206
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,360
Don't make me run after you.
207
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,278
I can't do this,
not at this late stage.
208
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,918
I don't know enough!
209
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,158
It's not fair on the students,
and it's not fair on Judith.
210
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,998
I was so happy,
I was so touched
211
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,398
when you invited me round
for dinner.
212
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,600
I thought you were being a
friend.
213
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,358
And God knows
I could do with one right now.
214
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,038
I've had such a shit time lately
with that bastard,
215
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,318
and I thought you were being kind
216
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,398
and supportive and a good
boss. I-I-I was.
217
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,598
I am. I am a good...
No! You weren't.
218
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,078
You just wanted to... hit on me,
219
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,398
like all the other creeps
220
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,398
when they can see that you're
not in a good place.
221
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,840
Oh, that's... That... That's,
er... And even apart from that...
222
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,000
...you're 50-odd. I'm 38.
223
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,960
Look at yourself.
224
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,958
Is that water?
225
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,440
Or vodka?
226
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,120
Don't be pathetic.
227
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,720
You're not going
to make a fool of y...
228
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,278
I mean, by all means
make a fool of yourself,
229
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,958
but don't humiliate Caroline.
230
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,600
Not in front of her students.
231
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,638
I'm doing Caroline a huge favour
232
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,998
just by turning up, so don't
tell me how to behave.
233
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,198
It's water, all right?
234
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,958
If I say it's water,
why don't we just accept that?
235
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,518
All right?
236
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,280
It's water.
237
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,438
We ought to get a little
present while we're here,
238
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,598
for that fella and his dog.
239
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,918
What fella?
240
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,678
The fella that found you
wandering about up Norland
241
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,398
and rang the police.
I wasn't wandering about!
242
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,918
I just wanted to see Ladstone
Rock. I told you.
243
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,998
It's a wonder you're not
riddled with pneumonia.
244
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,718
What a bloody lot of fuss
about nowt.
245
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,998
It's no wonder Alan's gone
and got himself
246
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,040
that little job, if you go on at
him the way you go on at me.
247
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,398
We used to walk up to
Ladstone Rock.
248
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,038
Me and Alice.
249
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,078
Did you? From Elland.
250
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,758
When we were courting.
251
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,238
On a Sunday.
252
00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,880
She liked it up there.
253
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,478
We both did.
254
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,078
Alan told me you'd brought
her ashes back with you.
255
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,520
Yeah.
256
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,158
We're going to have to talk
properly, Ted,
257
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,118
about where you're going to live.
258
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,798
If you are stopping.
259
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,120
I thought I was stopping with you.
260
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,398
Did Alan not tell you?
Hello-hello-hello!
261
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,798
We meet again. Hiya!
262
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,198
I thought that were you,
Mr Buttershaw!
263
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,838
Have you recovered?
264
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,718
Mrs Buttershaw.
265
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,158
What are you doing here? Well,
we came to collect the car.
266
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,398
We're waiting for Alan.
Apparently, some little kid
267
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,038
has threatened to damage it if he
doesn't give him some money.
268
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,758
I said, "This is what happens"
269
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,238
"when folk start working in
supermarkets."
270
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,638
Yeah, have you seen him?
271
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,118
Well, someone said they'd
seen him up here.
272
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,518
No, I don't think so.
Why isn't he in school?
273
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,518
Oh, er, he's a bit of
character... is Harrison.
274
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,878
I'll cop him. He won't damage
your car, he's all mouth.
275
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,918
Do you want a cup of tea, or...?
Not when I'm on duty.
276
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,318
Go on, then.
277
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,478
I was, er, saying to Ellie,
t'size of her,
278
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,758
she wants to get off home
on maternity leave.
279
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,718
Can you get us two teas,
Jamie? Yeah, sure.
280
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:08,838
Ah! Here he is.
281
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,918
Hey. Car keys!
282
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,120
There you go.
283
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,438
Oh, hello.
Mr Buttershaw.
284
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,918
Well, how was the bus?
285
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,518
Not unpleasant.
286
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,558
Except it went round about
the houses and kept stopping.
287
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,280
Well, they do.
288
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,198
Ted's been telling me that you've
said he can stop with us.
289
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,158
When have I said that? Eh?
290
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,758
I've said that is a conversation we
need to have.
291
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,478
Right.
292
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,318
Eh, what's all this
about this Banksy
293
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,318
that's appeared on Slack
Alice's barn?
294
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,918
Sorry?
Oh, it isn't a real one.
295
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,478
I mean, it's very good, but I think
he'd have claimed it by now
296
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,518
if it were a real one.
297
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,278
You don't know.
It's been five days.
298
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,118
It's very good. All this to draw
attention to herself,
299
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,198
hasn't she, eh? Your Gillian?
300
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,358
It could be worth a lot
of money.
301
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,760
You'd think she'd know better.
302
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,638
Fuck off!
303
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,638
What?
304
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,638
You! Sorry, love.
305
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,560
Twats.
306
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,760
Take your time!
307
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,278
Morons.
308
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,800
Morning.
309
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,278
Afternoon.
310
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,918
Have you seen Angus?
311
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,118
He's gone.
312
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,758
They've gone.
313
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,118
Gone? Both of them?
Yeah, yeah, they left. Drove off.
314
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,078
Where? York, I think.
315
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,718
Alyssa said she wanted to
see something in York.
316
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,238
And I think Angus was
just off home
317
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,918
when he'd dropped her off
at the station.
318
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,638
Bitch! I know!
319
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,718
She never said anything! Squeamish!
320
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,600
Not wanting to listen
to other folk shagging...
321
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:06,880
...all night.
322
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,638
They were knocking on t'door
at three o'clock this morning.
323
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,400
They didn't need to,
cos I never lock up.
324
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,318
Yeah, keep walking!
325
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,520
Sorry, love!
326
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:22,880
Tossers.
327
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,638
Can I make some tea for me
and Mia?
328
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,558
What's mine is yours, I've told
you. You help yourself.
329
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,880
I wish that helicopter'd fuck off.
330
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,798
Did you ring Sotheby's?
Yeah.
331
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,918
Yeah, I e-mailed 'em a picture.
332
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,878
And?
333
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,798
They'll be in touch if it turns out
to be real.
334
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,918
"Don't hold your breath," I think,
was their parting sentiment.
335
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,398
Everything all right?
Hmm. Bank kindly offering
336
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,118
to extend my loan,
so I can get the roof fixed,
337
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,638
and in return they'll cripple me
338
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,078
slowly with increased monthly
repayments.
339
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,878
And I've got a mural outside that
may, just may, be worth
340
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,160
a million quid, except it probably
isn't. Isn't life full of...
341
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,440
...shit little ironies?
342
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,478
Here's a career tip for you.
343
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,838
What?
Sheep farming.
344
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,280
Just...
345
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,158
...don't.
346
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,558
Don't.
347
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,960
OK.
348
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,398
You couldn't drive me...?
I was doing all right, you know.
349
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,478
For once in my life.
350
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,920
Then this.
351
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,760
Can I do anything? Like what?
To help. Like what, though?
352
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,680
You couldn't give us a lift over
to my mum's house, could you?
353
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,798
Just stick to those five main
characters, all right?
354
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,238
Ruth Ben Reuben,
Robin - of Loxley, obviously -
355
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,118
er, then there's Malbisse - he's
the baddie. You know that.
356
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,998
Ket the Trow -
he's one of the Little People.
357
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,198
And Will Scarlett.
Stick to those five,
358
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,598
you can't go wrong.
359
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,358
Ask her about language.
She loves language.
360
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:43,038
Metaphors, similes,
all that. Alliteration.
361
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,478
The odd bit of assonance.
362
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,638
She thinks she's a grown-up,
363
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,438
so she likes to talk about
the use of language.
364
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,638
Yeah. Er, kick off by commenting
on how poetic her prose is,
365
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,958
on how particular her
vocabulary is,
366
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,958
and you'll have her
eating out of your hand.
367
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,238
Seriously, she's such a tart.
368
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,718
Yeah.
369
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,758
There you go. Thank you.
370
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,878
I mean, she is good, she can use
language.
371
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,838
It's just not quite as, er, Hilary
Mantel as she thinks it is.
372
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,078
Oh, er, and tell her
she writes like Rose Tremain!
373
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,720
She'll love you for ever if you say that.
374
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,998
Hi.
375
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,518
Oh, hi. Er...
376
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,918
Yeah, your dad's here - she must be
here. I'm going to have to go.
377
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,238
OK.
Thank you. Good luck!
378
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,360
Thank you. I love you.
Love you. Bye.
379
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,718
She's a bit pissed.
Oh, good.
380
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,238
Are you all right?
Er... yeah.
381
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,678
The, er... The member of staff
I asked to do the interview
382
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,598
has, er, thrown in the towel,
383
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,558
so... Oh, no!
384
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,918
Yeah, so now I'm doing it, and I
have read one of her books, once,
385
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,278
and I have seen one of the
films, once,
386
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,000
and I kind of know who
everyone is, so, er...
387
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,158
How's the wedding plans going?
388
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,840
Er... urgh.
389
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,318
How's your...?
390
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,478
My...?
391
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,158
Lawrence said you had a new... No.
..woman? No.
392
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,678
Oh. He said... No.
393
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,358
So you're not...? No.
394
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,920
Oh.
395
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:11,720
Are you all right? Yes! Look, it's
only Judith you're interviewing.
396
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,920
This isn't attractive.
397
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,198
Judith, these are
impressionable young people.
398
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,158
You are a role model.
399
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,480
They adore you.
400
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,518
They're not from privileged
homes.
401
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:37,040
You have a lot of power here.
You can do a lot of good.
402
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,398
What you cannot do,
however, Judith, is to...
403
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,078
Listen, Emily fucking
Dickinson...
404
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,438
Go into that auditorium
405
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,638
and fill that water in that jug
on that stage
406
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,478
with this water from
this bottle here,
407
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,278
and your career at MetaFable
408
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,478
will be bright, shiny,
409
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,158
and guaranteed.
410
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,718
You keep going on at me like this,
411
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,838
and you'll be lucky to find a
job shovelling shit
412
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,358
from Siberia to Outer Mongolia.
413
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,680
All right?
414
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,720
Judith!
415
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,118
Caroline! How are you?
416
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,560
Oh. Yeah, I'm, er...
417
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,678
Do you want to, er, go and sit in
the assembly hall?
418
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,118
I'll take it from here.
419
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,998
Are you sure?
420
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,040
Yeah. Helen!
421
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,918
Could you show John through to the
hall, please? The VIP seats.
422
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,278
Absolutely!
423
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,760
So excited.
424
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:58,560
You sure?
Yeah.
425
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,440
So, how's it hanging?
426
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,240
Yeah, it's good.
427
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:08,960
Caroline?
428
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,880
No, I... I'm, er...
429
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,798
It's just, er...
430
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,200
Darling, what's happened?
431
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,880
Nothing. Er...
432
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,798
I've done so much for this school,
I've really turned it round,
433
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,838
and it was hard. I was bereaved.
434
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,118
And things like this are so
important for the students.
435
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:38,758
Getting someone like you here,
it means they matter.
436
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,198
And now I'm just going to let them
down. How? No, you're not.
437
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,118
The problem...
The immediate problem
438
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,998
is that the person who was supposed
to be interviewing you... isn't.
439
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,398
Why?
440
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,918
Because, oh...
441
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,760
Because she's accused me of
something...
442
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,598
...tawdry.
443
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,438
Which, you know me, I just wouldn't.
444
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:03,718
No! Would I?
445
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,678
Yeah, no. Course you wouldn't.
446
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,318
I would. You wouldn't.
447
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,798
And she really got the wrong
end of the stick. Well, not...
448
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,398
Not... But I didn't do anything,
for goodness' sake.
449
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,398
And then she said she's not
doing it, this, the interview,
450
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,518
so I'm doing it,
and I'm not prepared.
451
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:22,358
Not that I don't love your work
and your books, Judith, I...
452
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,198
I... I do. Er... No, I do.
453
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,358
You inspire children to read in
a way that's...
454
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,078
that's breathtaking.
I'd have reread them all
455
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,598
if I'd known that I was going
to, but... So it's shoddy.
456
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,558
And it's not fair on you,
it's not fair on the students,
457
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,878
it's not fair on me,
because I've not prepped,
458
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,118
and I've been made to feel
like some... some...
459
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,200
Well, I don't know what.
Some kind of a...
460
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,438
And I'm not, am I?
461
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,438
Or maybe I am?
Jesus!
462
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,118
No, Caroline.
463
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,358
Whatever's gone on, this person
needs their arse kicked.
464
00:24:54,360 --> 00:25:00,240
You are the most decent
person I know.
465
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:06,838
Is that vodka?
466
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,280
No!
467
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,360
Could I have a swig?
468
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,558
Listen, babe, we can do this.
469
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,598
We can knock this little fella
outta the ball park.
470
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,758
Yeah, don't swear when you get out
there. Yeah. Don't swear.
471
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,520
Yeah. I won't swear.
472
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,318
Oh!
473
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,918
I thought they'd be here all day.
474
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:10,998
Who?
475
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,560
What do you mean, who? Oh.
476
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,638
Oh, hell!
Now what?
477
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,558
I've got to pick our Flora and
Calamity up from school.
478
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,958
So don't get settled. Oh, I'll be
all right, I'll stop here.
479
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,038
You will not!
480
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,080
I can't have you wandering
off again.
481
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,198
Oh, er, here we go!
Bristol Live.
482
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,678
"On his Instagram account,
483
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,758
"the artist known as Banksy
484
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:41,918
"has finally denied..."
What? What?
485
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,678
What's he saying? Eh?
"Denied.
486
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,438
"Denied being behind
the striking giraffe image
487
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,278
"that appeared on a barn at Far Slack
Farm in Soyland, West Yorkshire,
488
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,558
"over the weekend."
Oh! Well, that sucks!
489
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,278
What an A-hole! Is that definitely,
definitely, like,
490
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,758
how he tells people stuff?
491
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,638
Is that... Is that, like, for
definite?
492
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,198
Dunno, dunno. I dunno.
493
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,358
Yeah, looks like there's a
whole, like, gallery of stuff
494
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,360
he's denied being
responsible for.
495
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,678
That's a big load of
old pants, innit?
496
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,358
Yeah, he could've
pretended, hey? At least.
497
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,600
It's no skin off his nose.
498
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,520
What's happened?
What's happening?
499
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:34,200
What's she doing, angel?
Dunno, babe.
500
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,438
Gillian?
501
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:42,800
What's happening?
502
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:51,678
There were 30 ewes and
nearly 60 lambs in this field.
503
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,280
And now some
rubber-necking, trespassing...
504
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,720
...has gone and left the gate...
505
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,358
...wide open!
506
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,440
Gillian.
507
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,478
Yeah, right.
508
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,880
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.
509
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:31,918
Aye-aye.
510
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,798
What do you want?
Come on, I'm busy,
511
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,080
In your own time.
512
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,998
Afternoon?
513
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,398
Hello.
Fred.
514
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:46,960
Have a load of your sheep got out?
515
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,478
Yeah. Yeah, they have.
516
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,758
I've just found t'gate open,
just now.
517
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,878
Who is it?
Old lad lives down t'road.
518
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,478
Right, because they've been
at all them cannabis plants
519
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,598
that were fly-tipped down Hollin
Lane,
520
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,358
and they've been on t'main
road.
521
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,278
Oh, God. OK. Er, thanks, Fred.
Thanks for letting me know.
522
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,198
You want to get down there
and round 'em up, love,
523
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,078
before they cause an
accident. I will, I am doing.
524
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,280
Ta-ta. Ta-ta.
525
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,158
Yeah, so...
526
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,238
...we've got half a tonne of
mutton off their tits on cannabis
527
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,118
down in Millbank.
528
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,078
Have you ever seen a sheep
off its tits on cannabis?
529
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,758
No. No. No.
530
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,878
Lose all their inhibitions.
531
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,118
You see, normally, your average
Swaledale is fairly docile.
532
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,598
Meek. Self-effacing. Shy.
533
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,518
Not disposed to create anything
much in the way of drama.
534
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,118
They've terrorised the pre-school.
535
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,118
Six of 'em got on a bus,
held the driver up at gunpoint,
536
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,278
made him drive 'em into Halifax.
537
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,438
Six more went into the Old
Bridge Inn,
538
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,038
trashed the place with
baseball bats.
539
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,398
No, they didn't.
540
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,798
They've been mugging
pensioners. Fuck off, Cheryl.
541
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,918
Well, one of 'em got on a bus
and shat everywhere.
542
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,678
Several people's gardens have been
trashed, aggressively,
543
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,638
including the beer garden
down at the Old Bridge Inn.
544
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,998
One very unhappy 6'3",
18-stone landlord
545
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,558
who was formerly very proud
of his geraniums.
546
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,678
And, yeah, a couple of 'em
got into the pre-school
547
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,598
and upset the little 'uns. Really
upset them. We're talking tears.
548
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,318
Vomit and shit everywhere.
And...
549
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,118
...a pensioner's been knocked to the
ground outside the post office.
550
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,880
That's when I got called in.
551
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,998
So I suggest you get down
there with your trailer ASAP.
552
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,878
Then I suggest a few snivelling
apologies might not go amiss.
553
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,358
I'm going to have to sort this
out.
554
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,958
Yeah. No, it's fine.
We'll, er, we'll help.
555
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,680
I'll bring my camera.
556
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,040
This gate...
557
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,478
...was left open...
558
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,320
...by some...
559
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,278
...coming to goggle at the vandalism
someone's done to my barn,
560
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,038
which I haven't even bothered
reporting to you lot
561
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,358
cos I know how not interested
you'll be.
562
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,158
And, also,
563
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,918
why aren't you lot doing anything
564
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,518
about the outlaws
that... that fly-tip the contents
565
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,998
of their nasty little cannabis farms
everywhere?
566
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,398
Happens all the time round here!
567
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,398
It's a... It's a weekly occurrence!
568
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,918
And you never catch 'em, because
they always seem to know
569
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,918
when you're going to bust 'em,
cos they always get tipped off,
570
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,918
probably by one o' your dippy
lot, and then this happens!
571
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,078
It's a good job it's me on duty
572
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,678
and not Sergeant Cawood,
573
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,038
cos she'd rip your spleen out
through your nose for you,
574
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,680
speaking to a police officer
like that.
575
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,358
Ooh, scary.
576
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,400
Shaking. Look.
577
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,240
Go and get your trailer, and I'll
meet you down in Millbank.
578
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,280
You murdering bitch.
579
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,878
Well done! Well done!
580
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,398
Both of you, absolutely splendid.
581
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,318
Oh, shut up. Was it?
582
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:33,118
I've heard it all before, obviously,
but somehow, I don't know,
583
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:37,558
it all came up fresh.
Well done. Well done, Caroline.
584
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,838
You didn't mind me dropping that
into the conversation, did you?
585
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:40,920
Sorry.
586
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,038
About you being gay.
587
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,958
Oh!
It just came out.
588
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,838
I assume they all know anyway.
589
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,798
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they all... Yeah.
And they all cheered
590
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,198
and applauded when I said it.
591
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,238
Oh. God, they love you,
don't they, those kids?
592
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,358
God, they do! They really do,
Caroline.
593
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,238
Yes. Yes.
594
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,320
And I love them.
595
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,118
What super kids.
596
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,760
Oh, yes, they are. They...
They are.
597
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,798
Did you say that you wanted
me to do some photographs?
598
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,718
Oh, if you wouldn't mind.
Oh, I'd love to.
599
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,880
Oh, that would be so
generous of your time.
600
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,680
Granny, wake up.
Grandad's here.
601
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,158
We're going to have to get
some fish and chips for tea.
602
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,758
Can you pick some up on your way
back from Gillian's
603
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,198
when you take Calamity home?
604
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,238
I shall sleep well tonight!
605
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,878
Well, I hope I will.
606
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,398
It's been nonstop since you walked
out of that door this morning.
607
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,758
And I've had him
to trail round with me again.
608
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,118
All day.
609
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,238
Shh-shh! Oh, he's asleep.
610
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:42,798
And then I've been trying
to get hold of Martin,
611
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,678
but there's no reply.
612
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,280
We got back here at ten to
three, and they'd gone.
613
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,758
I assumed they were coming
back, but they haven't.
614
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,158
I'll have to have a sit-down
and a cup of tea
615
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,318
before I start taxiing people
about.
616
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,998
You used to be able
to rely on workmen.
617
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,638
He said ten days - max -
618
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,878
and we'd have a fully
functioning kitchen.
619
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:06,918
If he doesn't stick to that,
he's for the high-jump.
620
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,958
Where's t'kettle?
It's outside the bathroom.
621
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,438
Is it on?
Oh, you want me to put it on?
622
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,878
No, I'll do it.
623
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,358
Where are the mugs?
624
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,878
In the bedroom.
625
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,118
And the teabags are on the
windowsill in the living room.
626
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,718
And the milk's in the bathroom.
627
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:27,158
There's some teaspoons
chucking about somewhere.
628
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,158
Oh, I'll do it.
No, I'll do it.
629
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,760
No, you sit down.
630
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,878
You see,
I hadn't budgeted mentally
631
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,958
for me having to start picking
them two up on my own.
632
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,078
They're no trouble,
but they just never stop,
633
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,318
and it's easier to manage
them when there's two of you.
634
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,758
And Ted - bless him -
he's clueless with 'em.
635
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,958
And what was that in the cafe?
636
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,998
Him saying that you said he could
stay here indefinitely.
637
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,558
That, I'm telling you, is not a
conversation we've had.
638
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,238
He's come up with that himself.
639
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:02,558
He's in a world of his own.
640
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,598
You need to talk to him.
641
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,918
You need to find out what's
happening.
642
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,080
If I start digging for
information, he just grunts.
643
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,078
Who are you ringing? Gillian.
644
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,080
See if she can come over
and fetch Calamity.
645
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,478
Well, we'll still need to fetch
some fish and chips.
646
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,598
Flora! Your mother's here.
647
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,358
No, no. Right, listen...
648
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,118
No, no, no, the buck does
stop wi' you,
649
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,038
because if there's a right o'
way through your field,
650
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,918
you know you're more than likely to
get idiots leaving the gates open.
651
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,758
Oh, my God,
they're so fast, angel!
652
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,918
This is for your benefit,
not mine.
653
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,318
As a responsible landowner, you need
to be anticipating that.
654
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,078
You should be providing a stile,
which will allow them easy access,
655
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,438
and not let these evil little
bastards escape.
656
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,238
And look at Mrs Peacock.
She's traumatised!
657
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,560
She's distressed.
658
00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:53,319
Oh, blimey.
659
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,758
Another few days,
and you won't recognise it!
660
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,278
It's gone to voicemail.
661
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,878
Are you all right, Alan?
662
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,118
Mm. He's exhausted.
663
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:06,558
...Flora!
664
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,080
Are you all right? Yeah.
665
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,118
Yes.
666
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,398
Yes, I hope I'm fit to drive.
667
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,838
I was knocking back the
vodka this afternoon.
668
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,758
You were? At school?
669
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,878
It was only a nip.
Well, it was two nips.
670
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,038
The second was an accident,
but it's Judith.
671
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,038
You know what Judith's like.
672
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:28,758
Judith? Oh, she, erm...
Yes, she came to do this talk.
673
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,558
Well, it was a Q&A.
674
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,198
And somehow, God knows,
675
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,918
she managed to replace the
water in the jug
676
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,558
on the stage with vodka.
677
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,838
How?
678
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:41,158
So that took me by surprise about
halfway through the proceedings,
679
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,038
when my throat got a bit dry...
680
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,518
Anyway, it went very well,
vodka or no vodka.
681
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,040
Maybe because of the vodka.
682
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,958
Come on!
683
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,358
You couldn't take Calamity back to
Gillian's for us, could you?
684
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,718
Yeah! It's the opposite
direction... Shh.
685
00:37:58,720 --> 00:38:00,398
Well, not if you went over
the tops.
686
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,998
Yes, but I never go
over the tops,
687
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,398
because it's another 20 minutes.
688
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,918
It's all right. I'll take her.
I think, realistically,
689
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,478
we're going to have to rethink
this arrangement.
690
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,398
What arrangement? Us picking them up
after school.
691
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,038
Why?
692
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,158
Because it's not us any more,
is it? It's me, on my own,
693
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,598
lugging him, Ted - bless him.
You know, since his escapade...
694
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,598
- And then no kitchen to come home to.
- Not this week, nor next week.
695
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,478
Right. OK.
696
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,638
Well, that's going to be...
697
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,198
What?
Difficult. But, yes. Yes. OK.
698
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,958
I'll sort something else out,
then.
699
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,680
Come on, Calamity. Get your
stuff. I'll drive you home.
700
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,318
It's this damned job.
701
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,240
I've said everything I'm going
to say to him on the subject.
702
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,800
Come along, Flora.
703
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,398
Judith.
704
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,518
Judith. Judith!
705
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,038
We're back.
706
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,200
Oh.
707
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,318
I was thinking...
708
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,798
What? Well...
709
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,318
Do we NEED to get married?
710
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,238
I mean, I just think, you know,
711
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,558
aren't we all right as we are?
712
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,998
You mean, carry on? Yeah.
713
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,838
Like this? Yeah.
714
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,038
It works, doesn't it?
715
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,958
I realised something today.
716
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,558
Did you? Mm.
717
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,918
Something really quite... profound.
718
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:46,760
What?
719
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,280
I don't love you.
720
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:54,920
Never loved you.
721
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,998
We just... drifted into this
mess together
722
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,800
blindfolded, didn't we?
723
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,358
So yes, you're right -
724
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,520
we shouldn't get married.
725
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,398
In fact...
726
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,158
...you should leave.
727
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,798
Should I? What?
728
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,438
Well, I can't leave.
729
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,600
It's my house.
730
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,198
Was anyone hurt?
731
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,238
No. No, it was PC Nitwit
exaggerating.
732
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,558
I just had to spend
the afternoon apologising.
733
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,158
And people were kind, on the
whole, considering the damage.
734
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,238
Even the bloke at the pub...
735
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,358
...eventually.
736
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,998
I offered to do a couple of
hours in his garden for him.
737
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,158
And then I said I'd pop in on
Beryl, the pensioner,
738
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,198
and do a bit of shopping for
her, summat.
739
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,718
She wasn't hurt,
she was just shaken.
740
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,438
And the school, er, they...
741
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,998
...they want to bring a bunch
of kids up to look at the lambs
742
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,118
next season. So that's all
right, I can do that.
743
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,358
If I'm still here.
744
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,478
What do you mean?
Seven of 'em are still missing.
745
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,478
That's not including the two that
were knocked down and killed
746
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,918
on the main road, so that's...
747
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,400
...600 quid. It's gone.
748
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,758
And it isn't like I ever make
any money on the sheep.
749
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,200
Even at the best of times,
they only ever break even.
750
00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:23,319
But that's...
751
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,798
Oh, I thought it was such a good
move buying those ten acres,
752
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,918
but, of course, obviously not.
753
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,000
600 quid down and...
754
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,560
...I just can't face...
755
00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:45,798
...the debt, the stress every day.
756
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,198
I could sell up, pay it all off.
757
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,798
Get a little place
down in Ripponden, little flat.
758
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,518
Couple of part-time jobs.
I'd be all right.
759
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,558
What about Raff and Ellie?
760
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,958
Hmm. They earn more than I do.
761
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,638
Not just between 'em.
762
00:41:58,640 --> 00:41:59,798
Each.
763
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,598
You'd be miserable.
764
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,518
Not waking up to that view
every morning?
765
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,120
I think it only ever worked
before because you were here.
766
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,560
Before you married Celia.
767
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,240
Then Robbie came. And now...
768
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,918
...I feel like it's all
slipping through my fingers.
769
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,278
It's like every day
I'm fighting a losing battle.
770
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,118
...barn...
771
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,998
Oh, I wouldn't be sad
to get away from that.
772
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,438
Have you seen Instagram?
Yeah, yeah.
773
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,878
Right. Come on, you two. We can get
off now they're here.
774
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,438
There's no tea cooked -
775
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,838
I've been rounding up
escaped sheep all afternoon.
776
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,958
And I've said I'd drive these
two over to Caroline's.
777
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,478
How... How did they escape?
778
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,918
Folk coming to gawp at that
daub, leaving t'gate open.
779
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,718
Two of 'em are dead,
knocked down.
780
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:57,438
I've reported it now anyway,
officially, to the police,
781
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,998
as an act of vandalism.
782
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,598
See ya. Bye.
783
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,078
Thanks for having us.
Pleasure.
784
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,078
Bye, Grandad. Thanks for
driving me home.
785
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,318
Bye-bye, love. Ta-ta.
786
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,680
See you.
787
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:14,000
I wish I could do something
for you. Yeah. Well...
788
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,918
How's your kitchen? Oh!
789
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,558
Are they an item?
790
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,958
Come on! I haven't got all week.
791
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,118
See you. Bye-bye, love. Don't work
too hard.
792
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,400
I enjoy it! They're nice folk.
It keeps me young.
793
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,120
Gets me out of the house.
794
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:43,440
Right!
795
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,000
Let's try again, shall we?
796
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,638
Hello? Celia? It's Nadine.
797
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,118
Oh, Nadine!
798
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,358
Hello, love! How are you?
799
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,600
Is it your dad you're after?
He's in the garden.
800
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,878
No, no, look. Listen, Celia.
801
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,918
No, I'm just, er, just phoning
to see if he's OK, that's all.
802
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,238
Yeah, he's fine.
803
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,038
Well, he's all right.
804
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,158
Well, he's a bit vague.
805
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,358
He wandered off the other
day, but we found him.
806
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,038
Well, a fella and his dog did.
807
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,118
Shall I fetch him?
No, no, no.
808
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,640
Celia, he won't want to talk to
me. Just, erm...
809
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:06,238
I just want to know, you know,
what the arrangement is.
810
00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,998
Just so that I know he's all
right.
811
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,118
What arrangement?
812
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:12,478
There.
813
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,358
With him.
814
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,918
And you and Uncle Alan.
815
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,518
Well, there isn't one, as such.
816
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,118
I mean, he's said he wants to
stop.
817
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,558
And he can, but, er,
818
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,438
if it's going to be more
permanent,
819
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,318
well, you know, I mean,
820
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,600
I'm assuming he's not short of
money...
821
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:35,760
Nadine?
822
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,120
And he'll be able to buy
himself a little house.
823
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,838
You need to ask him about
Angelina.
824
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,678
Who?
825
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,000
He should tell you himself.
826
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,758
You should hear his side of it.
827
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:55,480
Just ask him to tell you about
Angelina.
828
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,478
So, she's saying she's not
going to pick them up any more.
829
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,758
Either of them.
How's that going to work?
830
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:09,998
I've got a shift at Patterson's.
831
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,678
Me dad never said owt,
and I've just seen him!
832
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,038
Well, because he'll be in
denial, won't he?
833
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,198
Because he knows she'll be
saying it to guilt-trip him.
834
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:19,318
So, so... Sorry, is it OK
if Mia stays...
835
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,358
...here as well? As well as me?
836
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,038
Mm? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
837
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,320
Yay! I'll show you upstairs.
838
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:28,158
What happened to Alyssa?
839
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,998
Oh, erm, went to York with Angus.
840
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,278
This way.
Yeah, we know where we're going!
841
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,398
I'm showing Mia! Mind the step.
842
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:38,678
My room's at the top of the
stairs.
843
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,678
Why's your dad got this job?
844
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,400
Oh, I think...
845
00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:46,478
...to get out of the house.
846
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,080
To get away from my mother?
847
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,598
Are they an item?
848
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,878
She's about ten years older
than him.
849
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,280
Mmm. Three.
850
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,758
It's since Brexit, isn't it -
me dad and your mum?
851
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,238
They were never going to see
eye to eye about that,
852
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:14,518
and then it's just gone from
bad to worse,
853
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,478
as the months
have dragged on and on
854
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,118
into years.
855
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,638
The whole world's unravelling.
856
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:20,998
Mine is.
857
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,518
Is it? Is it? Mine is!
858
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,678
John and Judith are getting
married.
859
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:26,878
Wow.
860
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,238
That's a special kind of crazy.
861
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:32,038
Why? It's her. It's her idea.
862
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,678
I think she's deluded.
863
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,478
I think she thinks
they're like that couple
864
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,158
out of Who's Afraid Of
Virginia Woolf.
865
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,998
You know, the ones who hate
each other and drink a lot.
866
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,358
The weird thing is, I think she
thinks it's romantic, or desirable,
867
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,038
or inevitable, or...
868
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:50,520
OK.
869
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:52,958
I need a wife.
870
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:54,958
I need a husband.
871
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,518
It's odd.
872
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,678
When I saw John today,
873
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,558
it's the first time since we got
divorced that I realised
874
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:01,640
that...
875
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:07,238
...that just now and again
I almost miss him. Do you? Hmm.
876
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:08,958
Well, he was very sensible,
occasionally.
877
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,398
Occasionally, he'd put a
perspective on something
878
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,398
that made you realise
it was nowhere near as...
879
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,038
...worth committing suicide over
880
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,158
as you'd worked yourself up
into thinking it was.
881
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,680
So why's your world unravelling?
882
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:27,720
Isn't it stupid how...
883
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:32,240
...one thing can undermine
your whole sense of...
884
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,158
...who you are, however smart you
think you are,
885
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,878
however resilient you
try and be?
886
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,118
Yeah.
887
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:42,640
Yeah! Yeah, that's me.
888
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,398
I don't know how much longer
I can do this,
889
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,198
being a single parent.
890
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,598
Even with them picking her
up every day, it still feels like
891
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,718
it's just... It's juggling...
892
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,238
...too many things all the time.
893
00:49:01,240 --> 00:49:04,720
And you cope, and you cope,
and then one thing...
894
00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:10,638
How was your date?
895
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,560
It wasn't a date.
896
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,118
Ah. I see.
897
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,360
Is that...?
898
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,880
Move on. Rise above it.
899
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:23,880
You liked her. No, I didn't.
900
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,400
What happened?
901
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,838
You need a night out.
902
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,238
No. That's the last thing
I need. You do, you need...
903
00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:37,598
No, I'm not going to Hebden
Women's Disco,
904
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:38,918
I've told you. Don't.
905
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:40,918
Why don't we just get pissed
together one night?
906
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,598
Because we'd wake up
the next day feeling worse.
907
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,920
I can't even afford to get pissed.
What am I talking about?
908
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,558
Oh, it's not a Banksy, then?
909
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:50,960
Mm.
910
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,598
I'm the same as you.
911
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,078
I was doing all right - coping,
managing,
912
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,238
even convincing myself
I was halfway to being happy.
913
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:02,198
And then just...
914
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,280
...one thing, one...
915
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:08,918
...dumb, random, idiotic thing.
916
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,120
And it's not even a Banksy!
917
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,040
I'm thinking I might sell up.
918
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,678
And do what?
919
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,160
Nothing. Just...
920
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,440
...call it a day,
find something else to do.
921
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:30,480
You can't do that.
922
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:32,880
No, I can.
923
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,040
He's here.
924
00:50:59,720 --> 00:51:01,958
Do you want me to tell him?
925
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:03,120
Yeah.
926
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:14,878
We've had a phone call.
927
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,438
Oh? Nadine. Ringing to see what
the "arrangement" was.
928
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:19,838
I said, "What arrangement?"
929
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:25,718
And she said, "Tell him to tell you
about Angelina." He has no money.
930
00:51:25,720 --> 00:51:29,038
He did sell the house for 1.5
million, but it's gone.
931
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:30,878
All of it. On a woman.
932
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:35,478
Eh? He met her on a dating site
for older folk.
933
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,998
Except that she was 54.
934
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,958
30 years younger than him!
935
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,718
It sounds like he went silly
over her.
936
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,398
She persuaded him to sell the
house
937
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,678
and buy somewhere smaller
to free up some money.
938
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,158
Only she liked spending -
939
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,318
holidays, cruises...
940
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:57,678
And then she asked him to invest in
her brother's business - boats.
941
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,958
And that was when the rot set
in, apparently.
942
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:02,678
Anyway, it's all gone.
943
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,038
Got about 20 grand left. 20?!
944
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,278
And Nadine's had her fair share.
945
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:11,758
Before they tell you any
different, the little bastards.
946
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,718
And then there's none of 'em
will have me!
947
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:17,678
So you've got nothing left -
at all -
948
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,400
except this 20 grand?
949
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,158
And where is she,
950
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,078
this... Angelina?
951
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:29,480
Well, it all ended rather
acrimoniously.
952
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:31,800
She moved on.
953
00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:35,400
So...
954
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:38,160
...can I stop?
955
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,478
Hello.
She's thrown me...
956
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,918
Well, she asked me to leave, so I
wasn't going to hang around.
957
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,438
I thought you were getting
married.
958
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,078
And so why are you here?
Well, because she's thrown me...
959
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,318
Asked me to leave!
960
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,918
Well, so can I come in, then?
It's freezing!
961
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:23,998
Sorry?
962
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,198
They have hotels. Who do?
963
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:30,478
People.
People have hotels. For people.
964
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:31,878
Hello?
965
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:32,958
I'm coming in. Caroline?
966
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,198
Hello?
967
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:35,918
It's Judith.
968
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,038
Oh, hi.
969
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,318
...I am not your mother.
970
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:40,398
Sorry?
Yeah, listen.
971
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,518
I'm just ringing to say thanks
for today.
972
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,718
I really enjoyed it.
973
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:47,478
And I don't always,
doing things like that.
974
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,358
And I just wanted to say thank
you.
975
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:51,558
Oh, well, it was a pleasure.
976
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:52,758
...You can't just turn up here
977
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,878
thinking you've got a
God-given right to move in.
978
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,038
Yes, but...
979
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:57,158
No, I know that.
980
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,120
Yeah, and I just wanted to,
erm... Oh, why did I ever...?
981
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,078
Listen.
982
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,198
I realised something...
983
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,520
...really big today...
984
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,078
...when I saw you.
985
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,718
What?
986
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:13,678
Why did I ever look at anyone
else when I had you?
987
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,478
You wouldn't like to go...
988
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,360
...out for dinner with me,
would you?
989
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,560
She was a lovely person.
990
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,078
She fair cheered me up.
991
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:35,598
I'd got that used to being lonely,
I'd forgotten about being happy -
992
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,600
how it changes you,
lifts you up.
993
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:44,560
She liked doing stuff,
living life...
994
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,160
...having adventures.
995
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,798
It was my idea to put the house on
the market.
996
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,118
It made sense -
997
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,318
it was worth so much by then.
998
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,198
And the only cash I had
was my pension,
999
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,000
so it seemed daft sitting on it.
1000
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,478
So...
1001
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:07,960
...we were happy...
1002
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,320
...for, what...
1003
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,800
...about 18 months or so?
1004
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:19,038
Until that business with her
brother cropped up.
1005
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:21,680
I'll go.
1006
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,798
Well, did you go to the police?
1007
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:26,960
Yes.
1008
00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:33,678
Turns out, they think
it's not the first time
1009
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:36,638
that they've taken someone
for a ride... Oh...
1010
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:41,280
...these two. Do you mean, right from
the beginning, it was a scam?!
1011
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,758
Hello, Rick. Mrs Buttershaw, erm,
I'm sorry about this,
1012
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,318
but we think he's gone bust -
Martin.
1013
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:56,318
He owes us six weeks' wages, me and
Adam, and he's disappeared.
1014
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:57,720
We think he's gone bust.
1015
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,198
Morning! Is this a bad time to
be calling?
1016
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:05,958
Starting a relationship with an
alcoholic
1017
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,718
is not at the top of my list
of things to do.
1018
00:56:08,720 --> 00:56:11,198
500 grand, all in.
All 35 acres, the house...
1019
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:14,398
Is that what it's worth? I am
worried you're going to regret it.
1020
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,238
I'd like to go to Bridlington.
I could drive you. I have a car.
1021
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:19,278
We'd have to get the bus down to
Sowerby Bridge,
1022
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,158
though, to pick it up. Ted?
1023
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,198
Ted's gone AWOL again.
1024
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,958
He is not all there, is he?
Hey...
1025
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,598
I don't remember any of this.
1026
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:29,518
As well as that,
they think he's vulnerable.
1027
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,000
We need to find him. Yes, I think
that's why we're all here.
75718
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